How to stop being nervous: Depositphotos Does constant anxiety prevent you from enjoying life? Sometimes people do not distinguish between imaginary and real problems. It’s normal to worry about the health of your family before an important interview or exam, but constantly being nervous about little things is not. Psychologists Mikhail Labkovsky and Alexey Chudochkin will tell you how to cope with anxiety.
Eliminate the causes of problems
It is possible and necessary to cope with anxiety in situations where it manifests itself excessively. The first and most important step in eliminating anxiety is to analyze its causes.
Help your consciousness divide reasons for anxiety into real and far-fetched. For this:
- Take a pen and a piece of paper.
- Make a list of what's bothering you.
- Next to each problem, write down the reasons and analyze them.
Real stimuli have specific causes. Once you know them, start solving them immediately. You can get rid of imaginary problems by reminding yourself that there is no reason for them. This is what psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky advises to do. He claims that in this way you will make your life easier and preserve your nervous system.
How to stop being nervous about every little thing
Many people are constantly in a state of anxiety and, as soon as the next problem is solved, they begin to worry about something else. And so, year after year, they succumb to this bad habit, which takes away strength and deprives them of the joy of life. If you know this trait in yourself and want to become happier, try following these tips.
Solve problems as they arise
Don't worry about the past or the future! Think about today, decide only what is needed at the moment. And that doesn't mean you don't care about the future. Quite the opposite: if you live today as well as possible, this will be the key to a good future. Every morning tell yourself that today you will do everything to make the most of this day, because you only get to live it once. Don’t poison your life with worries about the past that cannot be changed, and don’t waste time in empty dreams about the future, be happy today, right now.
Think about the worst that could happen
If you are worried about a situation, think about what could happen in the worst case scenario? Is it that scary and is it worth worrying about? Prepare to accept any consequences calmly and look for ways to improve the situation. If you have a clear vision of your goals, there will be less to worry about.
Set Clear Goals
It doesn’t hurt to know clearly what you want from life. Then there will be much less cause for concern - after all, a purposeless existence excludes peace of mind.
Learn to solve problems effectively
Start by writing down everything that's bothering you and prioritizing it. Then, next to each problem, write down what you can do, schedule when you will do it, or start solving the problem immediately. Write down all your tasks in a diary and cross them out as soon as you finish - this will save you from anxiety caused by confusion and fear of a mountain of tasks, which in reality always turns out to be not so scary!
Keep yourself busy with something interesting
If you are used to constantly worrying about trifles, try doing something interesting. You need to occupy every minute so that you simply have no time to think about something extraneous - read, dance, take pictures, play games! By focusing on one thing, you won't be able to worry about all that nonsense.
Give a correct assessment of things and situations
Most people pay too much for many things. What seems valuable and important to you now will probably depreciate over time - so is it worth breaking spears and causing a scandal? Stop and think about whether the price you are paying is too high?
Get rid of guilt
If you think that not worrying about anything means being a soulless egoist, then you are wrong! Your experiences can lead to neurosis and stomach ulcers, but they cannot help anyone. Do not confuse experience and compassion, the first is a product of fear, the second is a product of love. Compassion means transferring the situation onto yourself and striving to help the victim in accordance with your experience, and not tormenting yourself with empty experiences. So if you can’t help, stop wasting your time. And you should not take responsibility for the actions of other people - they are adults and must make decisions themselves.
Don't create a problem for yourself
Often, in anticipation of some event, we begin to replay it in our minds, imagine the worst and get upset. Ask yourself: what is the likelihood of this actually happening? Helpful advice: relax - what will happen will happen, and if you cannot change a future event in any way, stop worrying about it. For example, you passed the exam and, nervously, are waiting for the result. But you’ve already done everything you could to get a high grade, and worrying won’t change anything.
Get rid of fear
Are you afraid that you will be fired, that your husband will cheat, that your children will not live up to expectations, that you will get fat, lose weight, get old?.. Stop it! You can always find another job; not all husbands and wives cheat - especially if you both try to save the family. You can almost always lose weight and gain weight back if you want! And everyone gets old, nothing can be done about it! Well, are you not afraid anymore?
Accept your own imperfections
If you don’t like yourself and constantly worry about it, you urgently need to change your attitude towards yourself! Self-love is the basis of mental balance. You should love yourself no matter what you look like, and having high expectations won't do you any good. No one is perfect, beautiful models on magazine covers look completely different in real life! So love yourself with all your weight, height, freckles and so on.
Don't worry about other people's opinions
Do you often worry about what other people will think? Believe me, they have plenty of other things to do to think about you! So do what you want - within reason, of course, and don’t worry about other people’s opinions. It also doesn't hurt to boost your self-esteem - there are many articles and books on this topic. And then you won’t be unsettled by a rude word or a sidelong glance from another person.
No one has to live up to your expectations.
Do you often get angry with your loved ones because they are not what you want? But you also have shortcomings. Stop harassing those around you with petty quibbles, accept them for who they are - after all, an adult cannot be changed if he himself does not want to change!
Find a balance between work and play
If you only want to have fun, then work will only irritate you - because it takes away precious time that could be spent on entertainment. In this case, you need to realize the need to earn money and start enjoying the process. If this is not possible, look for another job. Remember - a job you don’t like shortens your life by 8 hours a day!
Stop rushing!
There are people who try to do everything as quickly as possible. They have everything according to plan, every minute is scheduled - and this is a constant source of stress! After all, absolutely any little thing can unsettle and cause irritation: an unexpected phone call, a sudden blackout, a broken plate. Stop and enjoy the peace and this very minute that you were going to mindlessly waste in pursuit of speed. By constantly rushing, you may be late to do the most important thing - enjoy life.
You won’t be able to stop worrying about anything right away, but if you try to reconsider your values in life, you will gradually become a calmer and happier person.
Start with self-organization, with awareness of what bothers you, and every time irritation occurs, ask yourself: “Why is this happening?” And so, day after day, you will become a more harmonious person. Source
Don't pay attention to what isn't there
We often worry about problems that are unlikely to appear. People set themselves up for negativity. Think about the likelihood of this or that problem? If the chances are great, but you can’t influence the outcome, then you shouldn’t worry.
If you regularly return home to check whether the iron is turned off and the tap is closed, take photographs of them before leaving, as Mikhail Labkovsky advises.
Do you think you're about to lose your job? Ask your manager about this. A good employee will not be fired, and if so, then, having learned in advance about the upcoming problem, you can quickly find a new place.
Writer Dale Carnegie in his book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” recommends living today and doing today’s things.
Illness or character trait?
Most of us experience constant worry. We worry about our children and parents, we worry before an important event, we cannot sleep when some troubles happen in life, and we constantly think about them. Despite the fact that anxiety over trifles manifests itself in eighty percent of adults, experts classify this condition as signs of a mental disorder.
Indeed, anxiety is a symptom of many diseases, including:
- Various phobias.
- Post-traumatic disorders.
- Alcoholism.
- Schizophrenia.
- Neurosis.
Sometimes anxiety is a sign of somatic pathology. A psychiatrist should diagnose such disorders.
Pay special attention! If, along with a restless state, you experience weakness, rapid heartbeat, nausea or increased blood pressure, you should consult a doctor.
Learn humility and take a broader view of the situation
Some events cannot be changed or influenced. For example, a careless driver splashed water from a puddle or stepped on white sneakers on the bus. Even imagining this makes you nervous. It’s unpleasant, but the fact is that this cannot be changed, so there’s no need to worry.
Almost any problem seems insignificant when you look at it on the scale of life. Is a squabble in line or a driver cutting off on a turn important? Will you worry about this in a month, a year or five years? If not, then stop thinking about small things and concentrate on the main thing.
This attitude towards problems will relieve unnecessary anxiety. Psychotherapist Andrei Kurpatov advises observing your reactions and abandoning negative stereotypes in behavior.
Undesirable behavior when experiencing anxiety
How to motivate yourself - set a goal and do everything to achieve it
In a difficult situation, there is no need to blame yourself or others by making the problem worse. You need to accept it and try to benefit from it. Searching for the guilty will not help you calm down, but will add new experiences, for example, when blaming a loved one. This may offend him, which will lead to a quarrel.
There is only one answer to the question: how to be calm in any situation and not be nervous - you need to be prepared for any outcome. You should stop analyzing the expected event, endlessly scrolling through it in your head. It is necessary to calmly consider the plan of action and possible options for what is happening. Having prepared as much as possible, calm down, realizing that there is no further possibility of influencing anything.
It makes no sense to cope with stress with food and alcohol. They will scare you away for a while, then the emotions will return with renewed vigor.
Woman eats stress
Relieve stress through physical activity
Physical activity eliminates anxiety: Freepick
To get rid of constant anxiety, you need to work hard on yourself. A visit to a psychologist and meditative techniques eliminate far-fetched fears. In addition, a person can calm down on his own.
When you are stressed, it is difficult to listen to the voice of reason. Therefore, first reduce nervous tension, and then reconsider your attitude towards irritants. Physical activity is suitable for this. Jogging or fitness, swimming or dancing - all this is both distracting and effectively eliminates anxiety. The fatigue that comes afterwards prevents you from returning to a state of anxiety.
Tip 1: Filter your surroundings
To start, just think about how you need to behave so as not to get upset. Review your life and try to adjust your own actions in such a way as to protect yourself from troubles as much as possible. For example, you noticed that in the presence of some people you feel discomfort, unpleasant emotions, and loss of strength. This means that try to remove them from your environment or reduce your general pastime to a complete minimum. Very soon you will notice that you do not need to be upset in 7-8 cases out of 10. Position yourself in such a way that those who want to be with you take care of your mental comfort.
Switch your attention
How to quickly calm down when you're angry or nervous? You need to distract yourself by all means. Many people blame their problems on alcohol. This is only a temporary solution that can ultimately send a person to the bottom. Get down to business: clean the apartment, beat out the carpets, do the laundry. The more boring and difficult the work, the better.
A busy person has no time to think about boors, an unfair boss or gossips giggling behind their back. By shifting your attention, reduce or get rid of the feeling of anxiety. Practicing psychologist Alexey Chudochkin recommends switching to communication with other people to relieve anxiety.
Tip 3: your little joys
In order not to get upset over trifles, you should look at the world philosophically. Remember Carlson with his saying: “It’s all nothing, it’s an everyday matter!” Exactly, after all, if your child brought in another bad mark, and the boss looked askance, they were rude on the trolleybus, the world would not turn upside down and collapse. In such cases, do exactly the opposite: caress the child - even the rowdy and industrious one, he is yours, beloved and dear! Smile broadly and radiantly at your boss. Maybe he had a row with his wife this morning and should be pitied? And apologize to the boor yourself. This will discourage him, and will be a wonderful lesson for everyone present. Personally, please yourself with something tasty and pleasant. And love yourself, be sure to love yourself!
Breathe and meditate
Sometimes there is no time to work on psychological attitudes. Moreover, you can’t just go away to rest when you’re in a stressful situation. Breathing exercises help you calm down here and now.
Saturation of blood with oxygen relieves nervous tension:
- Inhale for four seconds, then hold your breath for two seconds and exhale smoothly.
- Repeat this exercise five times and your anxiety will disappear.
Try meditation as a daily practice. It teaches awareness and the ability to cut off all unnecessary thoughts, including disturbing thoughts.
Meditation as a way to combat anxiety: Freepick
What to read?
In conclusion, I would like to recommend several motivating books that will help you find yourself, find inner harmony, and stop being nervous about trifles:
- M. Norbekov “The Experience of a Fool.”
- V. Zeland “Transferring reality.”
- A. Sviyash “Reasonable World”.
- L. Hay “Heal yourself”, “The power is within us”.
As for Carnegie, his work can be read and discussed endlessly.
This book is definitely worth a look. It is also suitable for reading by those who do not have anxiety problems. Veronica Lakelska
Remember to rest
The nervous system takes on both physical and psychological stress. Over time, it fails, and the first symptoms are apathy and anxiety.
Therefore, if you suddenly began to react too emotionally to failures, you became afraid of ordinary life situations surrounding people, your performance decreased, take a rest:
- Take a day off, turn off your phone, and forget about all your obligations for a day or two.
- Take a bath, spend time with friends. Try not to discuss work and politics.
- If you lead a sedentary lifestyle, kayaking, playing paintball, or go-karting will help reduce your nervous tension.
Good sleep and proper nutrition are very important, which help maintain a state of harmony and mental balance.
Life is 10% circumstances and 90% how people react to them. Awareness of this significantly improves the quality of life. If a person is insulted, he has a choice - to worry or not. Remember this when some little thing unsettles you.
Original article: https://www.nur.kz/family/self-realization/1598041-kak-perestat-nervnichat-po-melocham/
Take care of your nervous system health
The causes of stress are both psychological and physiological factors. Proper nutrition will significantly improve the health of the nervous system, making it stable and resistant to stress. The benefits of a balanced diet are not an invention of nutritionists. Proper nutrition can make almost anyone healthier. Try to eat more varied foods, avoiding fast food, fatty and fried foods.
Make sure that your diet constantly includes foods such as:
- tomatoes;
- sea fish and other seafood;
- citrus fruits and bananas;
- berries (especially black ones);
- dairy products and beef;
- nuts and legumes.
Among the vitamins, the most important for the brain and nervous system are B vitamins. But it is better to take balanced vitamin-mineral complexes. If you have increased nervousness, you can drink calming teas with mint, lemon balm and special herbal mixtures in the evenings.