Something is constantly bothering us - so constantly that we are used to existing in this state and not even suspecting that we are preventing ourselves from living the way we want. Unfortunately, you cannot completely get rid of anxiety, especially in a constantly rushing world, but you can reduce its intensity on your own. We re-read Tanya Peterson’s book “Inner Peace. 101 ways to cope with anxiety, fear and panic attacks” and selected several practical tips for dealing with strong feelings.
No. 1. Feel the support
What most people call “nervous” is called anxiety among professionals. It is characterized by anxiety of varying severity, ranging from simple excitement to panic attacks, physical signs - rapid breathing, hand tremors, various tics, dizziness, abdominal discomfort. We perceive this state as our own vulnerability, so various defense mechanisms are activated in the body. We are ready to respond rudely, shout, leave, loudly slam the door, etc. Everything irritates us very much.
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At such moments, it is important to physically feel support. What does this mean: for example, you are traveling in public transport - sit comfortably (if possible), lean on the back of the seat or on the wall, etc. When you are at home (in the office), you can take off your heels and just put your feet on the floor to feel stable. Breathing should be deeper and slower. All this will help you calm down a little.
Repeat the mantra “Calm down, Hippolytus, calm down”
When nervous about an upcoming big event, Carol Howe, a psychotherapist in Orlando, advises patients to inhale deeply through the nose and exhale through the mouth at least three times.
Then slowly say to yourself, “I am safe and I am loved.” For some, a simple phrase: “Everything will be fine” is more suitable. It would be naive to recommend that a person experiencing severe anxiety repeat to himself: “I am calm, I am completely calm.”
But if you imagine that these words are spoken by your favorite character from children's cartoons?
Say to yourself in Carlson’s voice: “Calm, only calm!” Or say, stroking your chest: “Calm down, Hippolyte, calm down.”
No. 2. Taking a break
If the environment in the room itself causes discomfort, find any appropriate reason to leave. For example, say that you need to make an important call. You need to go out, breathe some air, drink water, think about how to answer some questions and solve the problems facing you. You can try to switch your attention to various pleasant objects, i.e. what gives you pleasure evokes positive emotions. Imagine a loved one, a vacation, the sea, etc.
A pause is needed to calm down. If you're in the same room with a yelling boss all the time, you don't have the opportunity to ask him to shut up. But you can take a break, come to your senses and return to the office in a normal state. Alas, we almost never can remove the factors that cause stress in real life, but we can make sure that the situation does not get out of control.
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How to identify anxiety
It’s worth saying right away that anxiety is a completely normal state that performs a very important function of alerting us to possible danger. And everything would be fine, but modern people are not often threatened by something in the literal sense, but it seems that more and more triggers appear. So anxiety becomes more of a problem than a survival aid. It leads to emotional burnout, chronic stress and constant fatigue, due to which we cannot function fully.
There are several symptoms that can help you determine how anxious you are lately:
- I can't stop thinking about what has already happened.
- I worry about what will happen in the future; I worry equally about tomorrow and about what will happen in a few years.
- I feel tired, but I am constantly on edge.
- I often “switch off” and cannot continue working.
- I'm plagued by obsessive thoughts.
- I have little obvious cause for great concern.
- I try to avoid people and certain places.
- I feel like I'm at a dead end.
- I'm trying to get rid of anxiety, but it doesn't go away.
- My relationships with people, my work and I suffer.
If you've been experiencing at least a few of these symptoms for a long time, it may be time to slow down a little and pay more attention to yourself, your mental health and lifestyle changes that can help reduce your stress levels.
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No. 3. Enlisting support
We get nervous when there is no order in our lives, when we don’t know what awaits us in the future. Think about where you are most unclear and make plans, get support, talk to someone close to you. It is important to come to the conclusion that everything is not so scary, you are together and can cope with any situation. Every person simply needs a way to support themselves during difficult times.
Very often people are worried when there is a crisis in the country, because again they do not know what will happen next, and in this situation it is important to find a thought on which you will rely. Its main message is that you are insured and protected. Of course, reality does not give us 100% guarantees, but it is very difficult to live without them.
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Causes of anxiety
There is no smoke without fire. Why does anxiety arise and where does it come from? An anxiety state can be a harbinger or symptom of diseases of the endocrine, cardiovascular system, lesions of the brain and spinal cord. If no diseases accompanied by such symptoms are identified, the reasons may lie in external factors. Experts identify several main factors that provoke the development of an anxiety disorder.
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What can trigger anxiety:
- Heredity - increased level of excitability of the nervous system.
- Peculiarities of upbringing, for example, increased demands on a child/teenager.
- Memories of experienced psychological traumas and fear of their repetition
- Difficulty in overcoming crisis situations.
- Low self-esteem, intrapersonal conflict.
- Alcohol abuse. Even small but regular consumption of alcohol can increase anxiety levels.
- Dependence on caffeinated drinks.
- Conflict relationships with others.
According to research from 2020-2021, the number of people with anxiety has increased significantly. First, there is the biological threat from exposure to the virus. Secondly, there is a social reaction to the threat and an attempt to adapt to it. Thirdly, individual psychological reactions of people prone to increased anxiety.
No. 6. Putting things in order
It is more difficult for a person to concentrate when he has several objects in his hands. The same thing happens when there are mountains of incomprehensible garbage, papers and some other things on your desktop. This confirms the chaos in your life and increases your anxiety. Put things in order. It is better if you are surrounded by as much free space as possible.
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Lack of rest
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Measuring the quality of night sleep by number of hours is the same as measuring nutrition by calories. After all, you can eat two chocolate bars a day and get your daily energy requirement - but how long will a person last with this lifestyle?
Hence the conclusion: it is not easy to rest for a sufficient amount of time at the same time.
It would seem, who cares? The brain cares: if you constantly grossly violate the daily routine, it loses the ability to go through all four phases of sleep in a normal sequence, including the deepest “reboot.”
As a result, you can sleep at least 12 hours a day, but wake up exhausted and not rested. In this state, even trivial stresses make you worry and lead to nervous breakdowns.
No. 9. We do not respond to rudeness with rudeness.
It is necessary to express feelings, but this does not mean that you have to go and hit someone in the face, be rude and swear. It is important to respect your own and other people’s boundaries, not to forget about self-esteem and remember that responding to rudeness with rudeness is the last thing. By doing so, you are supporting the war rather than helping your anxiety go away. If you are deliberately pushed on the subway, of course, you should stand up for yourself, but you need to talk, as an adult does with a child. This comparison is based on the fact that in “adult-child” contact the adult controls the situation (we again return to point 4). Granny was rude to you, tell her: “You are a woman, why are you behaving this way, let’s respect each other.” This point has nothing to do with complete resignation to the situation. It only speaks of your conscious, adult position. You have to set the tone of the situation, and someone who is nervous cannot do this by definition.
Getting rid of obsessive thoughts
It seems to us that the more we think about a problem, the more likely we are to find a solution or prepare for possible unpleasant consequences. In reality, we do little to help ourselves when we think about something that really bothers us. The level of anxiety increases, and even if you have a solution to the problem, this does not mean that you will instantly stop worrying. What to do in such a situation?
Exercise “I have a thought”
When we think about the subject of our anxiety, it is as if we stop being in the present time and are transported to the past or future. The exercise helps you return to reality and remind yourself that your experiences are just thoughts, albeit largely justified (but not always).
Think about what's bothering you and say, “I have a feeling that the conversation with management tomorrow won't go well. And it's just a thought"
. Even better, say it out loud, and it will become easier for you to return to your previous activities and not live with what has not yet happened or has already happened.
The question "What if?"
We are often visited by thoughts that can be formulated through one question: “What if?” What if we're not right for each other? What if the boss calls me to meet in order to cut my salary? Such thoughts appear completely randomly, they cannot be controlled, since they are directly related to our experiences and fears. However, you can develop the habit of always finding an alternative.
Think of a new, positive response to every worrying thought you have. For example, assume that a meeting with your boss will lead to a promotion, or that a potentially tense conversation with your partner will result in agreement. It would be useful to treat this with a little humor and imagine a completely absurd outcome: for example, that the manager gives up everything and moves to the North Pole, and leaves you in charge without explanation. By approaching anxiety with humor, you will change the vector of your thoughts and feel a little better.
Concentration on breathing
It's no secret that in our body all systems are connected to each other. If we are angry, the pulse quickens, if we are in a calm state, it slows down. Obsessive thoughts can cause headaches, and prolonged inactivity will lead to muscle discomfort, causing your body to send signals to move with all its might.
Meanwhile, consciously focusing on breathing will have the opposite effect: if obsessive thoughts lead to rapid breathing, then calmness will relieve unnecessary stress. Your task is to slowly inhale and exhale, concentrating on this process. Think about how the chest fills with air and releases it. Repeat several times until breathing returns to normal.
Storytel is an international audiobook subscription service. The Storytel library contains audiobooks of almost all genres, from classics and non-fiction to lectures, stand-ups and podcasts. This is a service that solves the reading problem. It allows you to listen to audiobooks anytime, anywhere: while working out, while cooking, on the way to and from work, on the plane, before bed, and whenever else. Storytel creates and records its own unique content - lecture projects, podcasts, audio series, and also collaborates with the best voices in the country.
Unhealthy diet
Studies on mice have shown that anxiety and depression can result from an imbalance of intestinal microflora!
That is, it is enough for a person to reduce the amount of plant fiber, and nervous psychosis is already in wait for him. And if at the same time you consume coffee and sugar, which are stimulants, the picture turns out to be completely gloomy.
Your table must have nuts, sweets, chocolate, fish and herbs. Fresh vegetables, fruits, wonderful drinks: herbal teas, compotes, cocoa and life will sparkle with new colors! For seasonings, give preference to coriander. Coriander has a positive effect on the nervous system, this has been known since ancient times.
Someone will say: worrying and worrying is normal. Unfortunately, it's not that simple. Strong and long-lasting experiences inevitably affect all family members at home.
Strong emotions can provoke many illnesses, they lead to stress and depression. Learning is always difficult, but learning to understand yourself is the first step to stopping worrying about trifles.
What harm does worry bring?
Unnecessary experiences prevent a person from controlling his own behavior and negatively affect his health. Let us note the most important negative consequences of anxiety:
- Decreased intellectual abilities
. The brain is the center of the nervous system, and it is where stress bears the brunt. Constant nervousness impairs memory and the ability to concentrate on tasks at hand. - Difficulty with self-control
. A person who cannot restrain emotions creates a negative impression in professional activities and personal communication. - "Broken Focus"
. Nervousness weakens concentration. As a result, we focus on the little things and lose sight of the really important things. - Chronic fatigue
. Constant worry is more tiring than complex intellectual work. A person who constantly worries about little things loses the ability to work effectively. - Bad habits
. Nervous people are constantly looking for ways to distract themselves from unnecessary thoughts, resorting to the help of tobacco and alcohol. Sometimes it comes to more dangerous means. - Real diseases
. Constant stress can result in serious health problems. It has a particularly strong effect on all kinds of inflammatory processes in the body.
Advice from psychologists
Let's see what psychologists recommend for those who often feel extreme anxiety:
- During times of stress, the ability to think logically tends to decrease. To restore the capabilities of the cognitive sphere, you need to switch to simple thought processes. For example, say out loud or silently today’s date, month and year, your date of birth, what time it is at the moment, name the place where you are, what objects surround you. You can also describe how you feel. Track and name 3-4 current emotions.
- No matter how important tomorrow is, you can’t think of anything better than a good night’s sleep the night before. You shouldn’t cram speech or fill gaps in knowledge at the expense of relaxation. Get yourself at least 7-8 hours of sleep. Your nervous system will thank you.
- If you feel anxious, take a piece of paper and write down all your negative thoughts. Firstly, a thesis note will help you focus on the present moment and stop the stream of consciousness, which takes up a lot of energy. And secondly, after reading the situation splashed out on paper, it may seem not at all as scary as it seems to the brain, which is under stress.
- Don't be afraid to cry. Panic attacks often occur due to long-term suppression of emotions. Remember that tears are not a sign of weakness, but a way to pour out negativity and relieve the nervous system.
Learn to quickly eliminate or reduce anxiety
In Western psychotherapeutic practice, there is a fairly popular technique that involves using special “anchors.” It allows you to almost instantly stop worrying and move into a peaceful state of mind. The role of “anchor” can be played by any phenomenon: a favorite song, phrase or a specific tactile sensation. Experts often offer ready-made templates:
- counting table from 1 to 9 (you can enhance the effect by choosing a non-standard number segment);
- deep breathing with a specific rhythm;
- listing first names, last names, or street names in a specific order.
By creating such an “anchor”, you can quickly divert attention from disturbing things and switch to productive work.
