Every person experiences a state of deep loss several times in their life. First - in adolescence, when we fully begin to understand ourselves as individuals and worry about our future, then - when we begin our professional activities. But the most striking crisis on everyone’s lips is, of course, the midlife crisis, to which all people are susceptible, regardless of gender (contrary to the widespread stereotype). We understand the myths and reality around this phenomenon and determine how to deal with it.
What scientists say about midlife crisis
According to Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs, the last and highest desire of a person is self-actualization.
This is what we strive for when we set goals, learn new skills, and constantly try to get out of our comfort zone to become better. It is very difficult to satisfy the need for self-actualization, since for this it is necessary to go through all the other stages: provide yourself with a roof over your head and food, surround yourself with close people, achieve a certain status in society - and only after that, when all other needs are more or less satisfied, we can begin to self-actualize. The scientist himself wrote in his book “Towards the Psychology of Being” that less than 1% of the adult population manages to reach this stage. However, many by the age of 35 - the lower threshold of the midlife crisis - feel as if they have already achieved everything in life, and no longer know what to do now, although there are still many years of life ahead and many unrealized opportunities.
However, achieving the last step of the pyramid of needs, in fact, does not have a direct connection with a certain age. There is no definitive research in the domestic and foreign scientific communities regarding the existence of a midlife crisis as a social and psychological phenomenon. The first person to talk about this phenomenon was Carl Jung, who was engaged in psychotherapeutic practice. Observing his patients, he noticed that closer to the middle of life, people often experience a condition that can be called a crisis. It is characterized by a loss of meaning in life and conscious goals, but the understanding that nothing is over is still present.
Usually such a crisis is preceded by a rethinking of values and beliefs, the choice of a new path and, in a sense, rebirth with a certain experience behind one’s back.
Following Jung, the midlife crisis was studied by the American psychologist E. Erikson. The scientist associated this period with the loss of productivity that people feel due to the absence of family or work (or both), as well as due to dissatisfaction in these areas. By the age of 35, this feeling becomes especially acute, and a person is faced with a choice: either continue to do what does not bring pleasure, or rethink everything that came before. Following Erickson, his colleague D. Levinson added that another reason for the midlife crisis is the loss of youth, physiological changes and their external manifestations, which lead to a rethinking of values and outlook on life.
However, no matter how much scientists agree that at a certain age people undergo approximately the same crisis state, this does not mean that a midlife crisis can be considered a confirmed psychological phenomenon, characteristic of every individual without exception. The concept of a cyclical life, in which there is room for both growth and decline in productivity, is applicable to many people, but there is no justified link to a certain age or a clear set of reasons due to which we find ourselves in a crisis situation.
What is the meaning of life and does it exist at all?
According to psychotherapist Gleb Bagryantsev, in psychotherapy there is no term “meaning of life” as such. However, experts have studied and continue to study the phenomenon itself.
Some people believe that a person needs to constantly determine his own path. Then purpose becomes a support and makes life more comfortable. From another point of view, the search for meaning is the main motivator of existence, and not an accompanying process.
Gleb Bagryantsev
Psychotherapist.
I do dialectical behavior therapy. And the concept closest to the meaning of life in it is values. This is a certain state and self-image that a person strives to maintain for a certain period of time, often even throughout his life. Everyone has different values: to be rich, competent, recognized, to have friends.
Psychologist Andrei Smirnov notes that the meaning of life can be either chosen independently or imposed. In Soviet times, propaganda inspired people to work conscientiously in the name of the ideas of communism. Japanese soldiers were told that their destiny was to die for the emperor. Some ancient philosophers believed that the meaning of life was pleasures and pleasures. There are plenty to choose from.
Andrey Smirnov
Master of Psychology, practical psychologist.
Even the imposed meaning of life could make a person happy, free him from doubts and painful searches, and free him from the fear of death. But not always. Often, if a destination is imposed, expectations are deceived. A person becomes disillusioned and experiences a deep existential crisis.
And here, according to the psychologist, you need to realize that the meaning of life does not have to be something grandiose or generally accepted. It can be any hobby: drawing, music, breeding cats and much more.
Gleb Bagryantsev also agrees with Andrei Smirnov. He believes that you shouldn't worry if your mission doesn't seem big enough. Moreover, when goals are too big and unrealistic, they can be demotivating.
Still, we all feel it
Despite the fact that domestic and foreign psychologists have not yet agreed on a clear opinion about what a midlife crisis is and whether it exists at all, we all experience this condition, sometimes without even noticing it - as, for example, in the case of prolonged depression , which begins to be perceived more as a norm than a deviation from the usual state.
By what signs can you determine that you are having a so-called midlife crisis?
- Lost motivation in your personal or work life, or in all of them at once.
- The future seems sad, if not tragic.
- You began to devalue the results of your activities, blame yourself for mistakes that you hadn’t thought much about before.
- Your mood changes for no apparent reason.
- The idea of changing interests arose, since the previous ones ceased to bring joy.
- You feel increased concern about your health.
It is important to remember that individual symptoms may indicate a completely different period in your life. For example, lack of motivation is about emotional burnout or depression caused by general overwork and high workload, and not by the need to reconsider one’s values.
Why is this happening?
Everything is very subjective. But in general, in a world where they are increasingly trying to deny suffering, where it is fashionable to only be positively disposed, only to smile and rejoice, a person does not allow himself to “suffer”, to grieve for what he does not have now or will not have. He faces complete devaluation, a stunning emptiness.
What to do?
The most important thing to realize is that this condition will not resolve on its own. This process can only get worse.
Stirring a person up or distracting him is not an option. Taking someone out to a bar and having a glass while trying to have a heart-to-heart conversation is not a panacea. More precisely, this is the meaningless mentality of our culture.
A depressed person, when he does not understand why he should live, can only be helped by therapy. And if the disease is sufficiently advanced, then drug intervention may be needed.
Loss of meaning in life is a global devaluation of everything that has happened in life.
In the psychoanalyst’s office, the entire history of a person unfolds, which it is possible to remember and reconstruct; traumas and conflicts are experienced, which makes it possible to search for new meanings, and, consequently, changes in life. Therapy helps re-ignite the desire to live.
As I wrote earlier, simply waiting for it to go away on its own is a losing option in advance. If the disease is not advanced, and a person understands that something incomprehensible and terrible is happening to him, then he needs to contact specialists as soon as possible. Look for a psychologist, pick up the phone and call, make an appointment.
With deep depression, when a person no longer cares, a lot depends on his loved ones. This can be difficult, but you need to convince the person to seek help, help them find a psychologist and make an appointment.
Who to contact?
At the moment, it has become quite fashionable to be a psychologist or psychotherapist. But depression is not an option when you should choose a specialist “blindly”. Different schools and methods can work with depression - psychoanalysis, psychoanalytic therapy, gestalt therapy.
But what you should pay attention to:
- inquire about the education of a psychologist, since the activities of psychologists in our country are not licensed (the quality of the services provided is not controlled by anyone), anyone can call themselves a psychoanalyst and start practicing, but this carries a danger to the client’s psyche
- It is very important that the specialist undergoes his own personal therapy, so that he works through all his internal conflicts and does not bring anything of his “personal” into therapy; ask if he has a therapist, what school he belongs to.
- specify whether the specialist belongs to professional communities and which ones, if so.
- availability of recommendations. This is an important aspect, but it is not at all necessary that a psychologist who was suitable for one person will be equally effective for another.
Good health to you! Start with the soul, it needs your help no less than the body.
Photo: shutterstock.com
Do not be nervous
It is normal to experience an identity crisis, regardless of age or personal achievements. Sooner or later you may come to the realization that you have already achieved everything, or would like to try something new. The main thing is to figure out where this feeling came from. Try to describe what exactly doesn’t suit you in your current life and how you can fix it. It is not necessary to immediately start changing your life and run out to buy a motorcycle: it is enough to set the vector for positive thinking, showing yourself that you can overcome any difficulties.
Accept and forgive
Life brings everyone to their knees, I'm sure. This doesn’t console me at all, and it probably won’t console anyone. This just confirms that this can happen to anyone. The next step—the fourth—that was revealed to me was the need to forgive myself. I realized that I don't have to be perfect to be happy again, but I have to allow myself to live. Guilt, like sublimation, helps you hide for a while and feel relief, making yourself even more painful. Nonsense, you say, but it works.
I worked on forgiving myself. I worked to truly believe in the possibility of waking up a different person one day. I’ll even say this, I didn’t believe in anything else except that I would be happy again.
Forgive yourself, because in this case only you can truly forgive.
For what? Yes for everything. At least for the fact that for some reason you became a victim of these circumstances, for the fact that you are human, for the fact that weakness breaks bones. Forgive yourself and trust that there is a next step, no matter what, no matter when or where change happens to you, it will happen if you move forward. Move.
Whole life ahead
If you understand that half of your life is behind you, and some dreams remain dreams, do not despair - you still have time to realize them. The only obstacle that may appear on your way is self-doubt and internal barriers, which, as a rule, are associated with certain fears and stereotypes. Think: what is stopping you from starting to do what you like right now? Make a list of limiting reasons for yourself and evaluate how much they depend on your decision.
Get rid of a toxic environment
When I decided to quit, my parents were twirling their fingers at their temples. Everyone tried to dissuade me. It was very difficult. There will definitely be people in your environment who do not believe in your strengths, lower your self-esteem and impose their opinions. You need to limit your communication with them. Even if those closest to you turn out to be such toxic characters. By allowing them into your life, you waste a lot of energy.
Do not give in to provocations, stick to your position. Do not doubt. Then no one can break your faith in yourself.
Surround yourself with those who will support your goals and aspirations. So you realize that many doubts were just an echo of what you heard about yourself.
Form habits and rituals
You've probably noticed that if you don't brush your teeth in the morning, you'll most likely feel bad throughout the day. And the point is not about hygiene, but about the fact that the usual ritual was disrupted. The brain, repeating the same actions, gets used to a certain behavior, and if you go out of rhythm somewhere, you thereby disrupt stability and the brain begins to get nervous. Therefore, if you feel in a state of uncertainty and unpredictability, deliberately “drive” yourself into the system by forming new [useful habits (https://theoryandpractice.ru/posts/16486-povtor-poleznykh-deystviy-kak-nauchitsya-formirovat-privychki ).
If life has lost its taste and colors. How to help yourself with apathy, a psychotherapist told
What should you do if you suddenly lose interest in the world and people around you, you are not happy with what used to bring you pleasure, you are exhausted under the yoke of constant fatigue and bad mood? Psychotherapist Alexander Musikhin answered questions from the sb.by portal.
When is apathy a symptom of a disease, and when is it a normal condition?
Sometimes apathy signals serious illnesses, but even completely healthy people can experience it. “Apathy itself is not a diagnosis, but a symptom of a number of diseases (mental, neurological), painful or absolutely normal psychological conditions. So, a person who is not sick with anything may feel a loss of strength and not want anything if he is very tired or finds himself in a stressful situation from which he cannot find a way out,”
- says the psychotherapist.
Alexander Musikhin. Alexander Musikhin gives an example: “Let’s say you have an emergency situation at work, and you work for half a month at a tense pace, 12 hours a day, without weekends or holidays.
In this case, loss of strength, physical and mental exhaustion are a natural reaction of the body. Once you return to a healthy schedule of work and rest, you will be full of vitality again.” But if you don’t overwork, sleep for 8 hours, walk in the park for at least half an hour every day - and still you can barely drag your legs from inexplicable fatigue, don’t feel any interest in life and people, are ready to lie in bed all day long and do nothing, this is alarming. call.
Even more serious symptoms that require an immediate visit to a specialist are suicidal thoughts, prolonged insomnia, loss of appetite leading to sudden weight loss, inability to comply with social obligations (a person stops going to work, makes an appointment and does not show up because he cannot force yourself to get up from the sofa, etc.).
If apathy is caused by brain damage (for example, due to atherosclerosis, traumatic brain injury, tumor) or in combination with other symptoms indicates a mental disorder (schizophrenia, endogenous depression, etc.), medical help, of course, cannot be avoided. But in some depressive conditions, you can cope with apathy on your own.
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Depression depression discord
All depressions are divided into three groups:
• endogenous (brain biochemistry is disrupted);
• reactive (from the word “reaction”, i.e. some event occurred in the outside world to which a person reacted with depression);
• intrapsychic (a person cannot cope with an internal crisis).
These types of depression differ significantly from each other. Fundamentally different conditions require fundamentally different approaches to treatment, which is why psychiatrists work with the first group of depression, and psychologists and psychotherapists work with the second and third groups.
Endogenous depression
is a severe mental disorder that requires contact with a psychiatrist and strict use of medications. Psychotherapy can only be an additional method of treatment, and in some cases it is even contraindicated.
Reactive depression
provoke painful losses: death of a loved one, loss of a job, ruin of a business, etc. If the condition is so severe that a person finds himself wanting to commit suicide, he should resort to medication. In other cases, it is enough to limit yourself to working with a psychologist or psychotherapist who will help you survive the loss, teach you new ways of responding, and speed up adaptation to changed conditions.
For intrapsychic depression
It is also advisable to work with a specialist, only he is faced with a different task: to help overcome the internal crisis and adapt to the changes caused by it.
“Apathy with intrapsychic depression is due to the fact that a person changes over the years and outgrows his previous interests.
What seemed important, attracted and pleased at the age of 20, a 40-year-old person loses interest, which is why he becomes lethargic, depressed, and indifferent. To overcome the internal crisis, he should focus on finding new relevant interests,” explains Alexander Musikhin.
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Is it possible to prevent apathy?
It is impossible to predict, and therefore prevent, the apathy that occurs with mental illness. “A person may have a genetic predisposition to endogenous depression and schizophrenia. But whether the disease will develop or not, one can never say for sure. But it is not difficult to predict how successfully a person will cope with external and internal crises. They are successfully overcome by those who are in touch with their emotions and desires,”
- says the psychotherapist.
How to help yourself cope with the pain of loss
If a person has suffered a tragedy, the key point is whether he can adapt to his grief. “After the death of a loved one, it is completely natural to be depressed, give vent to tears, and lose former interests for some time. This is the normal work of grief, which lasts an average of a year. The person grieves, but continues to function: brushes his teeth, washes the dishes, keeps his clothes clean, goes to work, etc. He allows himself to be sad and angry, and does not consider it shameful to ask for help. For example, a woman whose husband died does not go crazy from pain in an empty apartment, but goes to her friend, asks: “Have pity on me,” and sobs on her shoulder the whole evening. This brings her relief. But if a grieving person suppresses his anger, does not allow himself to be sad and cry, and is unable to ask for or accept someone else’s help, things are bad. The experience of grief and a state of apathy can drag on for years,”
– warns Alexander Musikhin.
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It is helpful for the griever to know that the work of grief occurs in several stages. The first is negation:
the person diligently pretends that nothing has happened - they say, we live as we lived.
Then he experiences strong anger
- at fate, God, himself, other people and even the departed.
The next stage is bargaining
: a person puzzles over the question of how the tragedy could have been prevented.
Bargaining gives way to depression
: the understanding comes that nothing can be changed: there is no escape from what happened, this is a given.
Apathy sets in. The last stage is acceptance
: the person has cried, suffered and come to terms with the loss.
He tells himself: life goes on and makes new plans based on new circumstances. “The stages of grief cannot be canceled, skipped, or swapped; they must be lived sequentially.
The less a person resists, the faster he moves from one stage to another,” the psychotherapist points out.
How to overcome an internal crisis
It is important for those who are overwhelmed by an internal crisis to realize their true desires and understand what steps are required to realize them. A common story: a person lives as his parents advise him, or is guided by a script taken from society. He conquers one peak after another, achieves fame and recognition, and becomes rich. At first he is satisfied with everything, he rejoices at his successes, but for some reason internal dissatisfaction grows; from a certain point, what previously attracted and pleased no longer evokes positive emotions. The reason is that a person lives according to someone else’s life plan, which does not coincide with his internal aspirations and values. What to do? “Learn to live from I WANT, not from NEED. To do this, you need to find the answer to the question: “Where should I go now?” As soon as a person separates his desires from those imposed by authorities and society, he will have new meanings, new goals, new desires,”
– the specialist emphasizes.
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***
“As you can see, the reasons for apathy can be very different. But no matter what causes it, it is important to be attentive to yourself, maintain contact with your desires and needs, be able to take care of yourself - and then if your life loses taste and color, it will not be for long,”
– summarizes psychotherapist Alexander Musikhin.
Eternal search
It’s a paradox, but many people understand that life has lost its meaning while... trying to find it. Such cases are not uncommon. Indeed, people who constantly think about the meaning of life are the most unhappy. They actively try to understand their desires, their own character and themselves. And many are not satisfied with the notorious answer to the eternal question, which assures that the meaning lies in happiness.
And then a person tries to find it in esoteric, philosophical and religious teachings, which, of course, do not give a clear answer to this question. Therefore, a person begins to look for it in music, literature, lyrics and even the natural sciences.
And in the overwhelming majority of cases, disappointment comes to him. He seems to have everything he needs for a fulfilling life - a job, close people, friends, a significant other, a good salary. But this no longer makes sense. Because the person was convinced: everything is decay. And slowly but surely he loses interest in everything. Begins to experience headaches, struggles with insomnia, and experiences chronic fatigue. And it’s very difficult to live like this. Trying to get distracted begins. In the best cases, a person is addicted to computer games. At worst, he drowns in alcohol and drugs. The most serious consequence is suicide. In general, real depression.
HELP YOURSELF
Getting out of depression is facilitated by a number of steps that need to be taken, taking into account the above. Their effectiveness has been proven by people suffering from different types of this disorder from their own experience.
1. Proper nutrition is very important - a healthy diet allows you to feel good physically and be in a good mood. It does not include everything that is called fast food: Big Macs, grilled chicken, French fries. hot dogs, etc. These instant foods can poison the body and introduce many toxic substances into it. Meat can also be considered dangerous in this sense.
Much healthier are fatty varieties of sea fish, nuts, hard cheese, fruits (especially bright ones), vegetables, and seaweed. Chocolate is a good option, but you need to be careful with it, since excess sweets negatively affect your figure, and extra pounds can, in turn, again provoke depression.
2. Another great way to get out of depression is to normalize your sleep. You shouldn’t use any handy “helpers” to quickly fall asleep and sleep fully until the morning, without waking up from every rustle (this means sleeping pills or alcohol, although folk remedies in the form of decoctions are quite suitable). You can do it this way:
- make it a habit to go to bed strictly at a certain time, and not when you want or as it turns out;
- The most natural sleep pattern for a person is to fall asleep before midnight, or even better, at 10 pm, and get up early. In this case, sleep has healing, restorative properties;
- before going to bed, it is inadvisable to watch the news, films with a negative connotation such as thrillers and horrors, as well as read something like that - this can provoke nightmares;
- dinner should be early and not too heavy;
- the bedroom needs to be ventilated, you can take a warm bath, drink a glass of warm milk with honey, ask a family member for a massage.
3. Physical activity is an excellent way out of depression. We live in an era of physical inactivity, we move little, we lose little energy. But not so long ago, our grandparents, not to mention our distant ancestors, did not have such a problem as depression, although their life was not easy. They worked more physically, traveled on foot, and did not have as many “smart” household appliances to make household chores easier.
Therefore, we need to set aside some time a day for physical activity, be it leisurely walks, running, working in the front garden or in the garden, doing fitness or using exercise equipment, or walking. You need to be in the fresh air more often - it improves metabolism and enriches the body with oxygen.
4. Positive thinking is very important to get out of depression. Color the depressive grayness with bright colors, think about good things, do good to people. Smile, look for the best in others. If someone nearby is completely negative and nothing can be done about it, just reduce communication with him to a minimum.
5. Do what you like. A favorite activity or hobby will charge you with positive energy, allow you to relax faster and better after a hard day at work, and distract you from worries and bad thoughts.
6. To get out of depression you need to pamper yourself and give positive emotions. For women, shopping plays the role of a depressant. And it doesn’t matter what kind of purchases they are, small or large, they will still please you. By the way, shopping is also good for men, but they will not like jewelry, outfits or shoes, but something related to their hobby: fishing gear, a gun for hunting, a tool.
Diversity also brings positive emotions. This could be a trip, going to a restaurant, cinema or theater, or a dolphinarium.
Lead a healthy lifestyle, get rid of bad habits and complexes, treat emerging somatic diseases in a timely manner, do not delve into yourself or whine, avoid stressful situations. You can have a pet - your favorite animals have a positive therapeutic effect on people.
And now about the main thing: in order to get out of depression on your own, you need to appreciate every moment of your life. It is given once and must be enjoyed so that nothing passes by. You should not dwell on failures or consider any problem global. Throw everything out of your head, love and appreciate your loved ones, communicate, enjoy every minute.
About the problem
This usually happens during depression. Although most often it is the loss of the meaning of life that causes this condition. During which you don’t want anything. A person is depressed, he does not experience joy, does not show interest in anything, and constantly feels tired. His speeches are pessimistic, he does not want and cannot concentrate, sometimes thinks about death or suicide, sleeps constantly or does not do so at all. And most importantly, there is a feeling of worthlessness, accompanied by feelings of fear, anxiety and even guilt.
Life has lost its meaning... There is so much pain in this phrase. And what is the reason for this problem? With a shortage of what a person needs most. For some, it’s a job and an opportunity to make a dizzying career. For others - a loved one, spending time together, tender feelings and passion. For the rest - a family with a bunch of children. For others, the meaning of life is immeasurable wealth. For others, it’s an opportunity to travel and develop. There can be countless examples. But it all comes down to one simple truth. Fortunately. Yes, this is the meaning of life - to be happy. Or, as they say, to be in a state of complete satisfaction with the conditions of one’s existence and being. This is the meaning of life. This phenomenon, by the way, is actively studied by occultism, theology, psychology and philosophy.
Break
When thoughts like “What am I doing?” begin to appear in a person’s head. and “What am I doing with my life?”, it’s time to pause. Preferably long term. In order not to completely wallow in despondency and not fall into real depression, you need to urgently take a vacation, rent a house by the lake or in the forest and go there. A sharp change in the situation and unity with nature saved a considerable number of people.
What after? Then you will need to give yourself answers to the notorious questions “What am I doing?” and “What am I doing with my life?” Realize what exactly causes discomfort. Why exactly is there dissatisfaction and when did these questions actually arise? And then - find solutions to problems. Maybe find a new meaning in life. As a rule, people who take a break in time and deal with the oppression that has begun to accumulate do not reach the edge and do not fall into deep depression.
By the way, a break is not complete without planning the near future and setting goals. They, like the meaning of life, should be in every normal person who wants to be an accomplished person. Goals do not have to be global (buy a villa in Spain, switch from a Lada to a Mercedes, start an investment business, etc.). They must be feasible. And the kind for which I would like to wake up in the morning. It is desirable that the goals be long-term. Three is enough. It’s better to write them down in the notorious diary. It might look like this: “Goal No. 1: save up for a year to vacation in Greece. #2: Do 5 minutes of exercise every morning. No. 3: improve English to a conversational level.” Goals should motivate and set you up for positive life changes. This is the main principle of their production.
Types and causes of depression
Depression can be organic, not related to external factors. At some point, the amount of endorphin hormones in the body decreases (serotonin, melatonin, treptophan), and the causes of such depression are most often physiological: age-related and vascular changes or some kind of physical injury.
There are also endogenous depressions, which may be based on stress, a tense family situation, loss, divorce, quarrels, problems at work, or lack of adequate sleep and wakefulness. But it is the correct sleep pattern that provides us with the necessary amount of joy hormones - endorphins, which “protect” from this unpleasant disease.
“If we sleep little and poorly, then the so-called “evil hormones,” destroyers—nurochlamines, nuroadrenalines, adrenalines—increase,” Roman Glebovsky continues the conversation. — Every person has an emotional limit, including a mental limit. There is no onset of depression without signals. There are always some harbingers. They can be different, ranging from a decrease in appetite or changes in taste characteristics, to a decrease in libido in women and potency in men.”
Help your neighbor
It’s not easy for a person on the edge. But the depressive state he experiences also affects people close to him, who begin to think: how to help a person who has lost the meaning of life?
That's a very difficult question. There is no universal answer. It all depends on individual psychological characteristics. What helps one person may not lift another out of depression.
One thing is certain. Someone who knows him well has a chance to help a person. A person who is well acquainted with the specific characteristics of his loved one can roughly guess what actions need to be taken to make him feel better. The main thing is to avoid standards that usually demonstrate nothing but indifference, even if the person really wanted to help. These are phrases such as “Everything will be fine”, “Don’t worry, life will get better”, “Just forget!” etc. You need to forget about them. A person faces a problem: the meaning of life is lost, how to live on? No “Just forget it!” out of the question.
So what to do? To begin with, just come to the person. A simple “How are you?” may well make him want to share. But not the psychological “Do you want to talk about it?” It is necessary to avoid pressure and do everything that usually lifts his mood. Unless, of course, he drives away the well-wisher. In this case, there is no need to be offended - he feels bad, the turning point has not yet passed (if a long time does not pass, then, unfortunately, you will have to see a doctor for antidepressants).
So, you can quietly turn on his favorite music or TV series, bring his favorite food and drinks, and start talking about the topic that interests him the most. Little things? Perhaps, but they will, at least a little, help restore a person’s taste for life.
