What is cyberbullying and how to protect yourself: dangerous consequences and sad examples

The Internet, originally invented as a resource for communication and exchange of information between scientists from different parts of the planet, is actively developing. At the moment, almost 60% of people from all over the world can go online, and most of them have accounts on social networks, where various topics are actively discussed and heated debates are held on any topic. And since the online world is populated by the same people as offline, conflicts are inevitable. Increasingly, “bullies” are beginning to appear online, taking pleasure in humiliating other participants in the conversation. This phenomenon is called cyberbullying .

How to avoid bullying, how to protect yourself from offenders, is it possible to punish them? How to protect your children? Today we will try to understand these and other questions.

What is cyberbullying

Cyberbullying means online bullying, electronic cruelty. These are deliberate actions that come from one person or group of people and are carried out regularly. The victim cannot defend himself.

Sometimes cyberbullying is also called cyberbullying or cybermobbing.

What is different from just bullying?

Bullying is usually carried out by people in real life. Cyberbullying is often an anonymous phenomenon; the aggressor feels impunity.

What is the difference with normal conflict?

On social networks, people often argue and express their opinions, including negative ones. If a person is insulted once, then this is not cyberbullying, but simply a conflict. If the insults are of a regular, multiple nature, then we can talk about cyberbullying.

My child is an aggressor

As you and I already know, aggressors are people who seek to assert themselves at the expense of a weaker victim. If you notice that a child is showing aggression for no apparent reason, is offending other children on the street, or perhaps trying to hurt you, you should not let the situation take its course. A simple punishment “a week without a phone” or “stand in a corner” is not enough here, and in some cases it can only do harm. Aggressive behavior in a child under three years of age is a normal, unconscious reaction, but the older a person gets, the better he learns to manage his emotions, including anger.

Thus, if a child is too aggressive, it is necessary to undergo an examination by a psychiatrist to rule out pathology of the nervous system. If the child is healthy, then you will have to work directly with relationships within the family and with relationships within the class (if there is evidence of problems at school). Here, of course, it is necessary to enlist the support of teachers and school administration. It is necessary to understand what exactly the child is trying to achieve with his behavior - attracting attention while in a vulnerable position, or trying to take a leadership position.

If a teenager is vulnerable, then it is necessary to help him get support and help without using force. Praise him often for correct behavior and ignore aggressive behavior. Learn to cope with outbursts of anger and aggression in socially acceptable ways (hitting a pillow, counting to ten, etc.). Perhaps enroll him in a sports section, where he can splash out his energy outside.

If you have a leader who strives for power, help him understand that fear is not a sign of respect and love. Show that an attentive, calm and balanced leader will always be more valuable than any tyrant. Also try to find an opportunity to use your leadership skills, for example, by inviting him to join the student council.

Statistics

Internet users in Russia believe that over the past few years the number of cases of cyberbullying has increased (statistically by 42%).

10% of Russians received negative statements and insults addressed to them. 49% of people have seen cyberbullying carried out towards other users.

7% of Russians suffered from multiple ridicule, insults, and negative actions. In relation to 5%, offensive and defamatory information was disseminated.

3% received threats of physical harm or violence.

2% of people complained that their pictures and videos of intimate or purely personal content were published online.

Types of cyberbullying with examples

Cyberbullying is more than just online insults. It can be divided into several types.

Have you ever observed examples of cyberbullying? In what form exactly? Share your experience in the comments.

How to protect yourself?

Adults are less likely to be exposed to similar influences online. Most often, it serves as a manifestation of mobbing - work-related violence, when an employee is put under pressure for the purpose of manipulation or dismissal. The following recommendations will help you protect yourself:

1. Remember that scammers can be hiding behind a photo of even a close relative. Therefore, it is better not to transmit personal information in any form on social networks or instant messengers, so as not to be compromised.
2. Don't ignore your own feelings. When communicating with virtual acquaintances (for example, clients or like-minded people), do not suppress any suspicions that arise. Intuition is not a myth. Sometimes our brain can perceive dubious phenomena without rational explanations and issue them as unreasonable anxiety.
3. Do not be silent. Immediately report any regularly repeated threats, insults or blackmail to your family or management. In this situation, there is no concept of “sneaking,” which stops many from the right impulse to share the problem with others.

Why do people do this - reasons

The reasons for cyberbullying can be different:

1. Envy or other negative emotions towards a particular person.
2. The desire to do bad things, but not be held responsible for them.
3. Fear of becoming a victim yourself, therefore choosing an attack strategy.
4. The desire to join a stronger group, to defend one’s authority in it.
5. The opportunity to take revenge for your grievances (offended friends, abandoned boys and girls, people who were refused a relationship often take revenge).
6. A clear difference between the victim and others (unusual opinion, non-traditional orientation, different nationality, skin color).

Users can also perform actions that attract the attention of aggressors:

• distributing personal information online and making it publicly available;
• posting photos of piquant, intimate content;
• open calls for support or opposition to something (feminism, LGBT, political movements);
• communicating with suspicious individuals, accepting friend invitations from absolutely everyone;
• creating a password that is too easy to crack (name, date of birth, mother's maiden name).

Signs that a child is being bullied online

Online bullying towards a child can be recognized by a number of signs.

Can online threats become reality?

Bullying on the Internet often does not translate into reality, since it is important for the aggressor to remain anonymous and unpunished. Death threats are used to put the victim into a state of even greater stress. However, if you receive direct threats of physical violence, you should still be wary.

If the threats come from a friend who has personal information about the victim (residence address, place of study/work), then you should contact the police.

Sometimes cyberbullying turns into cyberstalking, especially famous people and bloggers are susceptible to this. Cyberstalking is that abusers from the Internet are looking for a person in real life, and I can come to his home.

What to do if you are attacked

1. Save all evidence: letters, text and audio messages, take screenshots of correspondence.
2. Every social network has technical support where you can complain and ask to block the stalker. Messengers are equipped with the function of blocking unnecessary contacts.
3. If you are a minor, be sure to tell your parents and teachers (if the harasser is a student at your school) what is happening.
4. An adult, having collected all the evidence of cyberbullying against him, can write a statement to the police, since threats to life and health are prosecuted by law.

Consequences of cyberbullying for teenagers

The consequences of cyberbullying affect both the victim and the aggressor. Cyberbullying is dangerous for the victim for the following reasons:

1. Increased anxiety.
2. Deterioration in health (headaches, weakness, chills).
3. Violation of social connections (friends may turn away, a loved one may leave).
4. Deterioration of mood.
5. The emergence of a depressive state, including suicidal thoughts.

For the aggressor, this behavior also does not go unnoticed. Instead of solving his psychological problems, he engages in destructive activities and aggravates his condition.

Healthy people do not bully others, either online or in real life. In the future, it will be difficult for the aggressor to build relationships in the team.

Is it possible to punish an aggressor by law - legal side

The Criminal Code of the Russian Federation does not yet have a law on online harassment, but it is under consideration. However, you can try to punish cyberbullying under other articles. For example, for slander (Articles 128.1, 298.1 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation), threats of physical harm (Articles 161–162 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation), harassment or illegal actions of a sexual nature (Article 135 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation).

For the case to have the greatest weight, the victim of cyberbullying will need to provide as much evidence of bullying as possible (copies of correspondence, comments, voice recordings). It is also important to record the dates of messages, comments, etc. All evidence must be certified by a notary.

How to deal with cyberbullying

Protecting yourself from cyberbullying is not always easy, but good relationships in the family and school and the child’s ability to turn to adults for help play a huge role.

What to do if you are a victim of cyberbullying

Due to online bullying, a person loses a lot of moral strength and resources, so it is important to be able to defend yourself:

1. Complain to the administration of the social network about negative comments, messages, posts.
2. Put aggressors on the “black list” and block them.
3. Remove all personal information from the page or set privacy so that only close, trusted people can view it.
4. Do not enter into dialogue with the aggressor, but immediately block him.
5. Understand that anyone can become a victim of an aggressor, do not remain silent about it, do not blame yourself. Bullying is always the fault of the aggressor.

If cyberbullying occurs in a school or educational institution, then it is worth involving the administrative staff and management.

How to behave if you witness cyberbullying

Most people witness cyberbullying at least once in their lives. In a situation, a person has a choice - to continue to silently observe, to stand up for the victim or to support the aggressor. In the online space, making a choice is much more difficult, because it is impossible to ask your parents for help or call the police.

The behavior of a witness depends on his personal characteristics, on how well he treats the victim or the aggressor.

We recommend interceding for the victim. This will give a person confidence that he is not alone, that he has supporters. Involvement and empathy from other people will help him realize his own worth. If there is no way to intercede, then you should at least complain to the administration of the site or social network about offensive behavior and cyberbullying.

There is no need to fuel the conflict. It is better to write a personal message to the victim and share an article or specific instructions on how to behave. Show emotional involvement and support.

How to help a child victim

The victim child needs to be taught how to fight aggressors:

1. Talk frankly with the child, demonstrate your own participation, find out what exactly cyberbullying in his direction consists of.
2. Show how to report inappropriate content or negative comments.
3. Explain why it is important to keep your personal information secret.
4. Help him set up social networks and chats so that strangers cannot start a conversation with him.
5. Teach your child to say a firm “no.”
6. Talk about how important it is to be sociable and build communication correctly, including in the online space.

If parents do not show sufficient interest in the problem of cyberbullying, then the child can independently seek help. For example, he can call anonymously the children's helpline number 8-800-200-01-22.

What to do if your child is an aggressor

Cyberbullying on the Internet is one of the places where a child can show his aggression. If he is also rude to his parents and offends other children, then the situation cannot be left to chance. Punishments such as deprivation of your phone, house arrest, or a week without sweets should be avoided. They will not solve the problem, but will give, at best, only a temporary effect.

Parents should teach their child to gain authority and social recognition without using aggression. An attentive, tactful and sociable person will always be respected in society much more than an aggressor.

He needs to be praised more often, but only for real achievements, and not for everything. It is also worth teaching him to give a constructive outlet to his emotions (count to 10 before saying something rude, beating a pillow, throwing a ball in the yard).

If the child is very active and has nowhere to put his energy, you can talk to him and suggest the idea of ​​enrolling in a sports section.

My child is a victim

All parents want their children to be healthy and happy, to have friends, a good class, the best teachers, and to remember their school years as a fun time. However, this is not always the case.

Unfortunately, many children face bullying at school, in the yard, and on the Internet. In Russia, according to statistics, 76% of children do not tell their parents that they have problems.

Signs that a child is being bullied online:

1. The child began to spend less time on the phone or, on the contrary, began to use it more often.
2. After being on the Internet, the teenager is depressed, irritable, and upset.
3. The child closes down, does not want to make contact, does not want to talk about who he communicated with and about what.
4. Academic performance is falling.
5. The child's appetite is impaired, headaches and other psychosomatic disorders appear.

Having noticed changes in the behavior of a teenager, parents need to try to get him to talk about what is happening . There is no need to put pressure and spy on the child: just say that you are always there and ready to help him. It happens that it is difficult for a child to admit that he has become a victim of bullying, especially if he is blackmailed with photographs or personal information. Invite him to write you a message or record an audio message, promise not to punish or scold him for what he tells.

As soon as you have confirmation of bullying, tell your child that this is not a normal situation and you must stop it together.

Modern technologies can help in this situation. You will either check whether your child is being bullied offline or online, or obtain evidence of bullying so that you can use it against the aggressor in the future. See what apps your child spends on and how much time they spend, know where they are and listen to what's going on around them with the Where Are My Kids app.

Protection plan

1. Teach your child to block unwanted visitors to his social networks. Find together the “complain” or “add to blacklist” functions - they are available on almost all Internet resources. For “passing hooligans” this will work almost instantly. If rumors, videos or photos are spread through a certain community or general chat where there is no way to directly remove insults, contact the administration of the community or site with a request to remove the unwanted content.
2. Set up a page on a social network, increase its security level, and delete all personal information that may become available to aggressors. Prohibit other users from tagging your child in photos and videos.
3. Do not respond to cyberbullying, do not engage in conversation with the offender. The aggressor’s task is to get as many emotions as possible in response, to feel superior. Ignoring his actions will eventually cause him to either make a mistake for which he can be prosecuted, or he will lose interest in the victim.
4. Try to find out who exactly is hurting your child. This will allow you to punish the offender in real life.
5. Take screenshots of correspondence, comments and other materials that will allow you to confirm your words. Yes, in Russia at the moment there are no laws in the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation that would directly punish cyberbullying , however, if there are threats or suspicions of harassment, this can be considered as grounds for initiating a criminal case. You should also remember that the state requires notarized screenshots of the pages. But if bullying occurs within the school walls, ordinary printouts will be enough for the administration.
6. Since cyberbullying often happens within the classroom or school, do not be afraid to involve the class teacher, social teacher, psychologist and administration in solving the problem. It is necessary to pay attention to this problem to help children improve relationships in the classroom and stop bullying.

Remember that trusting and warm relationships in the family will allow the child to turn to you for help as early as possible and receive minimal harm from cyberbullying.

Preventing online bullying

To prevent cyberbullying you need to:

1. Teach your child to be benevolent and friendly when communicating online, not to write angry, offensive, harsh comments and messages. This will help avoid increased attention from aggressors.
2. Explain that sometimes one thing is enough to prevent cyberbullying - complete ignorance, because the aggressor always expects a response from the victim.
3. Take measures to protect a child if you receive information about bullying on social networks or websites.
4. Make sure that threats do not translate into real life.

Tips for teachers

Teachers at school should also deal with the problem of cyberbullying and prevent it, because not all parents talk about this topic with their children:

1. Conduct classroom hours and additional classes on the topic of cyberbullying, talk about its types, signs, and consequences.
2. Conduct educational seminars for parents.
3. Explain to students the difference between expressing their opinions online and insulting others.
4. Talk with children about how to protect themselves online (strong passwords, correct statements, privacy settings for their social networks).
5. Emphasize that online bullying is also a punishable and illegal activity. Talk about legislative measures and methods of protection against cyberbullying.
6. Build trusting relationships with students, convince them that they can turn to the teacher for help in case of cyberbullying.
7. Try to unite students in the class, hold more events, joint trips, quizzes.
8. Tell students about psychology and pedagogy, teach them to better understand each other, and understand the motives of human actions.

Thank you for reading the article. Have you personally experienced cyberbullying? And someone you know? Share your experience and knowledge in the comments. Perhaps you know effective methods of protection and can help someone.

Save the article for yourself so as not to lose the recommendations, be sure to send it to your loved ones, show it to your children and teenagers. Cyberbullying is not just pampering, it is bullying that can cost a person his life, like, for example, Japanese wrestler Hana Kimura or Korean singer Sulli.

How to recognize that you have unknowingly become an aggressor?

First, I think it is important for each person to be able to assume for themselves that they are potentially an aggressor. That is, he will be an aggressor if he commits any violent actions towards another person.

And, as we have already established, how do we recognize what constitutes violence? Only subjective. To understand whether you are an aggressor or not, you need to constantly be in contact with your interlocutor. Does it make him feel bad, does it make him feel bad? Is he okay or not okay? Do you feel like this is wrong?

This is the complexity of the Internet. Because when we are offline, we see a person’s eyes, we see his posture, for example, tear-filled eyes or clenched teeth. Voice intonation. When we don't have voices, but only text, images, and so on, it's incomprehensible.

This is a story with rules, and it involves such an important rule of digital etiquette. If you have a situation related to negative emotions, conflicts or anything else, you should always express it in your voice, in conversation, in a personal meeting. Because in correspondence you can never get enough information about a person’s emotional state. You won't be able to take care of him. Most likely, he will not be able to see any emotion in your messages. If a person is in a moment, in a state when it seems to him that everyone is mocking him (this is not necessarily the case, everything is subjective), he will most likely see in your messages, in your text, exactly what reinforces what you are talking about he thinks.

How to avoid cyberbullying?

Firstly, there are many different technical solutions. Facebook, VKontakte and other social networks allow you to get rid of unpleasant comments and messages through the settings. You can also prevent people from tagging themselves in posts and photos. Finally, violators can simply be blocked. Additionally, if someone is bullying you or your child on a social network, you can use the Report button to report it.

Secondly, there are recommendations of a more general nature. Both adults and children should not publicly share personal information, such as phone numbers. It is important that victims of cyberbullying are not alone when they experience abuse - we need someone to share it with. There are also unconventional methods: for example, Elena Klimova, founder of the Children-404 project for LGBT teenagers, when she regularly received insults and threats on the Internet, began collecting a special gallery - portraits of hooligans and their statements. She said it also acted as a defense mechanism: people were afraid to enter the gallery.

Teens should seek support from teachers and parents, and parents of teens should pay attention to what their child is doing online and be willing to help them in difficult situations. Unfortunately, it often happens that children do not want to tell their parents about this, and adults themselves do not notice the problem. Therefore, it is worth at least remembering that cyberbullying exists and that it can lead to serious psychological problems. Russia has a hotline for teenagers experiencing cyberbullying, but overall it receives less attention than in Europe or the United States.

It is important to talk to a teenager who is being cyberbullied