21 magical days: how easy it is to develop a habit in three weeks

Habit is like a rope. We weave threads into it every day and ultimately cannot break it. Horace Mann , educator (1796-1859)

“Acquire healthy lifestyle habits and regular exercise” is one of the most common responses from students to the question about goals in the initial questionnaire of our program. We ourselves know and are proud that our graduates call new habits their most desired result. Therefore, we could not ignore this topic and propose together to understand what habits are and how they work.

Why does the habit of smoking or chewing a pencil require no additional effort, but the habit of doing morning workouts is so difficult to inculcate and requires additional nourishment? How to make massage with a brush become a regular procedure, and not happen from time to time? Why is it easy for us to part with some habits, while others remain with us for life, even if we want to get rid of them?

Hundreds of scientists and psychologists are trying to find answers to these simple and complex questions; dozens of books and many scientific papers have been written. It would seem that a magical way to instill a habit at the snap of a finger should be found. However, there is no magic pill and it will not be included in this article either.

But we will try to analyze the most interesting, in our opinion, books and studies and show you several paths along which you can move in the difficult but interesting business of instilling new habits. There is no simple answer, however, you must admit that your mothers also taught you to eat with a spoon and brush your teeth in less than a week.

What is a habit?

The human brain is constantly at work - minute after minute it controls many movements, thoughts, efforts. But the body is a very smart system, so it takes advantage of the fact that many actions are repeated and it is possible to optimize the process and cut corners.

Habit is a way of the brain to save energy, which has been passed down to humans since ancient times. The brain consumes a disproportionately large amount of energy for an organ of its size, and it is beneficial for the body to save it - to generalize repetitive actions and develop autonomous habits. The neocortex, the part of the brain closest to the cranium that is responsible for our ability to think, consumes the most energy. Over time, the brain gives us the opportunity not to do this, optimizing its work.

A habit is formed in the process of repeatedly performing an action until the stage when performing this action no longer causes difficulties of a volitional or cognitive nature.

A habit is nothing more than the formation in the brain structures of stable nerve connections, characterized by an increased readiness for functioning. In other words, these are automatic programs in our brain that are ready to turn on and be executed at the right moment with virtually no participation from ourselves.

How are habits formed?

Recent research sheds light on the fact that in addition to neural connections, habit formation is also associated with processes at the molecular level.

Habits exist in many possible areas of brain function, from ongoing physiological and neurological mechanisms to mental activity and daily routine. Some daily habits can keep you healthy and vibrant for many years, while others can lead to serious illness and increased risk of mortality. In this article, we will focus on habits, which refer to a set of regular actions that form the basis for each person to maintain health and good shape.

The peculiarity of the process of habit formation is that the brain selects for “automation” not only useful or desirable habits (brushing our teeth, exercising regularly or choosing healthy foods), but also useless and even “harmful” habits, that is, unwanted for us ( drink tea with sweets, light a cigarette after a nervous situation, or end the work week with a glass of wine).

The main criterion for choosing the brain to form a new habit is the so-called “reward” - the feeling that arises when performing any action . It could be relaxation, euphoria, or just a good mood, an internal feeling of receiving a reward.

Any habit is formed by a so-called “loop”, which consists of three stages - a starting signal, an action pattern and a reward .

Let's look at a couple of simple examples:

1. You eat cake at your favorite coffee shop after every stressful day at work.

Here the starting signal is stress, the action pattern is to go to a coffee shop and order something sweet, the reward is relaxation and a good mood. And then the realization comes to you that you ate a cake that, in general, you didn’t plan to eat today. The noose is tied.

2. You do a morning workout every day.

The starting signal is, for example, a glass of water or an alarm, the action pattern is to put on sneakers, lay out the mat and do a workout, the reward is euphoria, vigor, a surge of strength.

Looking at these examples, it is obvious that habits arise quite simply - just repeat the “loop” a certain number of times, and the brain records the action as habitual , the next time without forcing you to think and make energy-consuming decisions from its point of view.

How many times you will have to repeat the entire process in order to consolidate the habit depends on the habit itself, the reward and your individual characteristics.

We come to the most important thing - how to actually instill “good” habits and how to wean yourself off “bad” ones.
More than one generation of scientists and psychologists has been studying this issue, and, unfortunately, no single magic algorithm has been found. You've probably heard that a habit can be established in 21 days by repeating the same thing. Psychologist Jeremy Dean debunks this common myth in his book Making Habits, Breaking Habits

It turns out that the original research on this issue was conducted in 1960 - plastic surgeon Maxwell Maltz published a book called “Psycho-Cybernetics” , in which, among other things, he shared the observation that patients usually needed 21 days to come to terms with the fact of losing a limb or with changes in appearance after surgery. From this he concluded that this time was probably enough for people to get used to anything.

Obviously, learning to drink a glass of water in the morning and getting used to losing a leg are slightly different situations. Yes, and we are all different. For some, it will take 21 days to change a habit, for others 7, and for others – all 70.

In one study, scientists found that on average, a person needs 66 days to develop a habit, that is, about two months, but this is not true for everyone. If we move from the average to the individual results, for different people in the study group, the time it took to acquire a habit ranged from 18 to 254 days.

Types and time of formation of our habits


As a result of repeated repetitions of the same actions, we develop a habit - a certain way, a tactic of behavior.
And it can be either beneficial, neutral, or harmful. As for habit formation, it all depends on our persistence and conscious practice. Read our article “What is a book of shadows and how to use it.”

With the help of useful behavioral tactics, we make our lives easier. Its main advantage is its long-term effect. Tangible results are not visible in one day, but if done consistently, the effect is simply unimaginable. A neutral habit is one that does not carry any specific meaning. But as for a bad habit, it often complicates our life. Sometimes, even very much so. Therefore, we decide to get rid of it.

We perform any old habit without thinking. It already belongs to our way of life. A new habit is an action that forces you to leave your comfort zone and requires additional energy expenditure. Therefore, to form them, you need a goal and motivation. And the fear of failure slows down the process of achieving goals. But this fear can be easily circumvented.

Almost any habit can be formed. Gradually every day you can get used to everything. But it takes different amounts of time for different people. One habit is formed in 3 days, and another in a couple of months. Moreover, developing a bad habit requires less energy and time than developing a useful one. The process of automation at first goes much faster than at the finish line.

Methods for working with habits

Let's consider what techniques and influences the researchers of this topic offer us as the most effective.

The first documented studies related to habits began a very long time ago; the attention of scientists to the topic has increased since the middle of the last century, and at the moment it is not waning.

Research by Azrin and Nunn

In a 1973 study, a group of people with nervous habits or tics (twisting their hair, biting their nails, etc.) were asked to perform so-called reverse or incompatible actions. Participants carefully observed and noticed the urge to perform another habitual action and replaced it with something else.

For example, for nervous tics it was the tension of certain muscles (for example, the shoulders are isometrically lowered down while the shoulders twitch upward), for those who bite nails, the opposite effect was to pick up any object and squeeze it for a minute.

The results showed that one day of such therapy is enough to create a lasting result in getting rid of habits. Thus, it was possible to break established ties and replace them with new ones .

How long does it take

Scientific research does not support the standard figure of 21 days. Don't trust this number, but trust your body. If you already automatically perform the desired habit, it means that it has formed. Success! It doesn't matter how long it took. Twenty days, sixty or a hundred.

Don't stop until you are sure that it has really become natural and habitual for you. Good luck, you will definitely succeed. And remember: if you form at least one habit, you can do absolutely anything!

Working with Loop Links

If we talk about daily habits that cannot be classified as nervous or pathological, then in this case the approach is similar. Charles Duhig , author of “The Power of Habit” and “A Guide to Changing Habits,” suggests working directly with the links of the habit “loop.”

1. Pinpoint the habit loop you want to work on. This may not be as easy as it seems. The author gives an example of how he worked on the habit of going to the cafeteria every day and grabbing a chocolate chip cookie.

2. Experiment with rewards. Without haste or pressure, just try different actions instead of your usual behavior. In the cafe example, as soon as at a certain time the author noticed that he was drawn to get up and go to the cafe for cookies, he consistently tried to replace the usual action with a walk around the building, take other sweets or, in general, other dishes, went into the office chat with a colleague.

The number of attempts may vary, the main thing is to find what you really need. It turned out that Charles simply needed communication, so visiting a colleague for a couple of minutes of conversation completely satisfied his need without going to a cafe.

3. Isolate the start signal. The start signal is what motivates you to go and do a habitual action. Research shows that most starting cues fall into one of the following categories: place, time, emotional state, other people, immediately preceding action.

Accordingly, every time you feel that the habit mechanism is starting to start, ask 5 questions :

  • Where are you?
  • What time is it now?
  • What is your emotional state?
  • Who else is around?
  • What action immediately preceded the start of the “loop”?

Answer them each time for as long as it takes, if necessary, write down the answers. By comparing the answers over the period, you will find repeating aspects, which means you will be able to draw a conclusion about the starting signal.

4. Make a plan. If you have successfully completed the first three steps, you understand what the habit is, what the starting signal is, what the reward is and what the action is. Now you need to choose which part of the “loop” you will work on and make a plan to realize your intentions.

The author’s plan for breaking the habit of eating chocolate chip cookies at lunch was as follows: “at 3:30 pm every day, I go to my colleague’s office and talk for 10 minutes.”

When the same action is repeated over and over again, the brain begins to build a new habit. Some take more time, some less, but with the proper persistence you will be able to “blaze a new path” in the functioning of the brain.

Block Method: Brief Definition

"Better Every Day: 127 Healthy Habits for Health, Happiness, and Success." Publishing house "Alpina Publisher"

It is clear that adopting a habit is not easy

. There are a lot of cases, and their number is growing. Is it possible to integrate something new into your daily routine? My point is that you don't just have enough time to develop any new habit; you can incorporate literally dozens of habits into your work schedule without any negative consequences to your daily routine. […]

In general, the essence is simple: form important habits for yourself, combining them into blocks.

Combine habits. In blocks. Just a piece of cake, right?

The good thing about this method is that it relieves the stress of having a lot of new things to do. You start with a few simple but effective habits and then increase the number of them. You won’t even notice how they fit into your daily schedule.

This block of habits will become as organic a part of the day as the usual procedures that you follow when you get up in the morning and get ready for work, and go to bed in the evening.

Small steps method

Entrepreneur, co-founder of Hello Code and author of the Buffer blog Belle Beth Cooper suggests starting with small steps that yield small but tangible victories. This approach provides that same feeling of reward, which our brain relies on when choosing which action to make a habit.

1. Start small. You shouldn’t immediately expect global changes from yourself. If you decide to read more, start with 5 pages a day; if you decide to brush your teeth with dental floss, start with 2 teeth, gradually adding one at a time.

2. Focus on one habit. A typical mistake that leads to failure is to take everything at once, for example, start a healthy lifestyle on Monday. However, if you outline a plan for gradually introducing habits into your life, the likelihood of its successful implementation increases many times over.

3. Remove barriers. Create the most convenient conditions for comfortable implementation of habits. If you want to start running in the morning, prepare fresh uniforms, sneakers and a player with your favorite music in the evening; if you want to get rid of the habit of eating sweets with coffee, do not buy sweets for home and replace coffee with other drinks.

4. Create chains of habits. Building new habits on top of existing ones is easier than starting them from scratch. How it works? For example, every morning you are used to drinking a cup of coffee - plan to read 10 pages of a book during this time, brush your teeth every morning - add to this a little exercise right in the bathroom, and so on.

Role of the prefrontal cortex

Judson Brewer Research

Psychiatrist and addiction expert Judson Brewer conducted research on how to break bad habits based on one simple technique: being mindful and curious .

Study participants who wanted to quit smoking were asked, when the urge to smoke occurred, to begin observing how they felt—and to describe any sensations, emotions, and thoughts. Instead of following the lead of habit, people became researchers and experimenters - and this is already a pleasant feeling and a new incentive-reward.

When carefully observing themselves while smoking, most participants admitted that it was a rather unpleasant activity - cigarettes taste bad, the feeling in the mouth is not pleasant, and stress, in fact, does not go away.

Thus, the participants moved from knowledge to enlightenment - from understanding that smoking is harmful to literally physically feeling it, and the spell of smoking was broken. It ceased to fascinate.

The prefrontal cortex, the youngest part of the brain in evolutionary terms, understands on an intellectual level that smoking is bad and tries its best to help us change behavior, help us quit smoking, stop us from eating a second, third or fourth cookie. This is called "cognitive control." We use understanding to control behavior. Unfortunately, it's also the first part of the brain to shut down when we're nervous, which isn't particularly beneficial for us .

When the prefrontal cortex shuts down, we succumb to our old habits, which is why it's so important that they lose their appeal.

Observing habits helps you understand them on a deeper level, becoming aware of them enough to stop forcing yourself to hold back or curb your behavior. Make it so that they simply stop attracting us.

This is what awareness is based on: to clearly understand what happens when we are caught up in a habit, to lose attraction on an intuitive level, and at the stage of lack of attraction, it is easy to let go of the habit.

Look to the root

But I think that not everyone will be able to change themselves in eight months. Or a year, or a year and a half. It's probably not even a matter of time. Then what? It seems to me that time is not one of the factors necessary to establish a habit. There is the strength of desire, the degree of thinking and the seriousness of the necessary changes.

When we talk about a habit, we mean something useful that will help us become better than our former selves. Nobody wants to intentionally start bad habits. Bad habits are acquired automatically, and it's not difficult. All you have to do is gape a little, and that’s it!

brenkee/Pixabay/Pixabay License

Useful habits are always an overcoming that requires psychological and physical effort.

Why do old habits come back?

We are often asked a reasonable question: why do some graduates of the program return to old habits after completing the course, and why do new ones not work? After all, 9 weeks, according to many researchers, is quite a sufficient period for the brain to record some actions as habits.

However, if you remember the article, forming a new habit requires care and analysis. This is important not only at the formation stage, but also at the consolidation stage. If we return to the habit loop, in this case the newly acquired habits were not rated highly enough. The reward to which the brain reacts so vividly has not been formulated .

It is reward that is the main criterion for choosing a habit by the brain. If there is no reward, you can repeat the action as many times as you like, but it is unlikely to become a habit; rather, it will become more and more annoying each time.

At the same time, work on oneself is often started according to a completely different scenario, which may be good for other tasks, but in our business of acquiring habits it does not work.

H

a person sets a goal (to lose weight, gain six-pack belly fat, learn to eat healthy), clenches his will into a fist and plunges into the world of recommendations - “it is necessary, therefore it is necessary,” “beauty requires sacrifice.” Tasteless alien food, hard workouts, contrast showers until you catch a cold. Many of you were nodding your head or smiling now.

Have you noticed what is missing in the design? That's right, there is no pleasure from the process, which means there is no reward, the habit is not formed. As a result, it turns out that many actions within 9 weeks are carried out thanks to volitional effort, and as soon as the external factor in the form of chat and curators disappears, habits return - the same ones that have not lost their attractiveness and have been waiting in the wings all this time.

Look for the positive in every action - experiment and choose delicious dishes, enjoyable activities, and you will want to do it again and again.

No matter what stage of the process of acquiring healthy habits you are currently at, stop for a moment, listen to yourself, try to understand what attracts you and does not attract you in old habits, what you enjoy in the new ones you are working on.

Obviously, changing some habits can be a difficult process. However, the techniques that we have discussed are a worthy basis on which you can rely at the start. Sometimes changes take a long time. Sometimes they require repeated experimentation and failure. But once you realize how a habit works, find the trigger that causes it, the action itself and the reward for it - you receive the power that will certainly help you change what you would like.

Author: Anna Nesterova, strength sports coach, curator of the Ideal Body School #sekta

References: 1. Charles Duhhig, A guide to changing habits. 2. Charles Duhig, The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business. 3. Jeremy Dean, Making Habits, Breaking Habits. 4. NH Azrin, RG Nunn, Habit-reversal: A method of eliminating nervous habits and tics. 5. Arthur L. Costa, Ed.D., Habits of mind. 6. Hamburg DA, Habits for health. 7. Belle Beth Cooper, How I Became a Morning Person, Learned a New Language, and Read 5x More Books in 2015. 8. Judson Brewer: A simple way to break a bad habit. 9. Monica R. F. Hilário and Rui M. Costa, High on habits. 10. A. Dickinson, Actions and Habits: The Development of Behavioral Autonomy. 11. Azrin, N. H., Nunn, R. G., & Frantz-Renshaw, S. E. (1982). Habit reversal vs. negative practice treatment of self-destructive oral habits (biting, chewing or licking of the lips, cheeks, tongue or palate). Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry, 13, 49-54. 12. Twohig, M. P., & Woods, D. W. (2001). Evaluating the duration of the competing response in habit reversal: A parametric analysis. Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis, 34, 517-520. 13. Phillippa Lally, Cornelia HM van Jaarsveld, Henry WW Potts and Jane Wardle, How are habits formed: Modeling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology 2010. 14. Benjamin Gardner, Phillippa Lally, Jane Wardle, Making health habitual: the psychology of 'habit-formation' and general practice. British Journal of General Practice 2012. 15. Lally P, Gardner B. Promoting habit formation. Healthy Psychology Review 2013.

Techniques for strengthening a habit (besides repeating it constantly)

So that you do not rely only on willpower and so that the habits really stick, we suggest using this scheme.

  • The first step towards a habit. Decide on a goal. Yes, you need to think carefully here. For example, the goal “to lose weight” doesn’t sound very specific, right? Why do you need to lose weight? To feel beautiful? And if you find a person who weighs as much as you want - does he feel beautiful? Don't be afraid to dig into your desires.
  • Create a trigger that will remind you of the habit. For example, if after waking up you want to start exercising, set a melody on your alarm clock that will remind you of this. Or, instead of a trigger, create an entire environment that encourages you to develop habits: for example, join a book club to read regularly.
  • There will be times when there will be a desire to do nothing. Yes, you have every right to give yourself a break. Just remember two things: don't think too much about how you want to skip the ritual, try to take the first step. If you still don't want to continue, okay. And one more trick: every time after skipping, return to the habit, and do not reset the result.
  • And finally, don’t forget to look back and see what you have achieved.

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