A very important skill for any person is the ability to remain calm, no matter what situation he finds himself in. All negative emotions and experiences, such as panic, fear, anger, can completely deprive you of your strength, giving nothing in return. Those who do not know how to maintain composure and manage their emotions very often become victims of stress and nervous breakdowns, which over time can transform into a chronic disease. And vice versa, those who are able to keep their nerves in check are able to achieve success in all their endeavors, know how to build harmonious relationships with others, and always cope with all planned tasks on time.
How to become cold-blooded
and how to learn to manage your emotions? There are many tips for this, the creation of which scientists have seriously worked on.
Tip #1.
Regardless of the situation you find yourself in, first of all try to soberly analyze it and give it an adequate assessment. It may turn out that under the influence of emotions you are blowing the most ordinary fly into an elephant. Direct your thoughts in a positive direction. Make yourself think that you are stronger than circumstances and the problem is not as terrible as it seems at first glance. This will help you get rid of unnecessary worry.
Tip #2.
When faced with any problem, first try to solve it with your own. Only if you can’t do it, share this with others. Very often, when you begin to talk about an incident with horror in your eyes, your interlocutors begin to react to it in the same way as you, and you, looking at them, become convinced of the complexity of the situation, even if it is not as terrible as you thought so at first.
Tip #3.
When faced with a difficult situation, try to imagine it as a heavy knot, which becomes even more entangled when you calm down, and unravels when you calm down, thereby giving you a chance to unravel it.
Tip #4.
On the question of how to become cool-headed
, it is very important to learn how to control your facial expressions, gestures and movements. Don't fuss, don't run from corner to corner and don't shout. Maintain external calm and equanimity and, without noticing it, you will actually be able to calm down and make the most correct decisions.
Tip #5.
It is very difficult to maintain composure if your body is exhausted and you are tired. If you haven't gotten enough sleep or are feeling hungry, your behavior can easily become irritable. Try to make your body always feel comfortable. Moderate physical activity can also help in this matter.
Tip #6.
Remember that breathing is a powerful tool with which every person, no matter what situation he is in, can pull himself together. A person under the influence of emotions and experiences, as a rule, breathes intermittently, not rhythmically, in small breaths. Try to breathe deeply, deeply, and you will see for yourself that yours will begin to come into order, and you will calm down.
Ecology of life: Negative emotions such as anger, aggression and irritation take up a lot of mental strength. In this regard, we will consider methods for suspending them
Negative emotions such as anger, aggression and irritation take up a lot of mental strength. In this regard, we will consider methods for suspending them, technical techniques, as well as three effective ways to gain composure in any critical situations.
Negative emotions, especially such as anger, aggression and irritation, take up a lot of mental strength, and therefore it is advisable to fall into such a state as little as possible, which seriously complicates entrepreneurial activity and, naturally, does not provide the opportunity to create a positive business image. In this regard, it makes sense to consider technical techniques and methods for their suspension
1. Always separate the person and the problem. Focus on her. After all, she is more important. This will switch you from an emotional level to a rational one. Then it is simpler and easier to resolve the contradiction. In addition, such a switch frees one from affect, a violent emotional reaction, in which consciousness is switched off and the process of behavior is not controlled.
2. Imagine another person in your place. How would he behave in this situation? Play the role of this person. This will help you forget about yourself and cool down your anger.
3. You can imagine such a picture. There is a glass wall between you and your partner. You see his irritated gestures, but you don't hear what he says. There will be no need to respond with a “growl.” Select some detail in his wardrobe (a poorly sewn button, a tie that has gone to one side, etc.), look at it carefully, and say thoughtfully: “You will lose a button, but there are no such things on sale.” You will hear in response: “What the hell is a button!” Show: “This one.”
4. You are seething with anger, you are ready to express offensive words to your partner, but overcome yourself: calmly, you are confident, you control yourself. Smile or fake a muscular smile. Imagine how funny your smile is.
The following three methods of self-soothing are also very useful.
1. Rationalization of anger. This method requires, first of all, to comprehend the reason that gave rise to anger and give it a different meaning. You were ruled by your emotions and your mind was asleep. Wake him up. Learn the lessons.
Look for anything positive about what happened. It's always there. Find it, and the situation will look a little different.
In anger, as a rule, a person achieves almost nothing. And you also achieved nothing by giving free rein to your emotions. Ask yourself: “Is what I haven’t achieved very important to me?” After such questions, you should feel funny if you have humor.
Analyze whether your partner had the same motives and intentions that you think about? Did he really want to humiliate you with his words or actions?
Check yourself again and mentally ask yourself if you have done everything to prevent your partner from behaving rudely and offensively. Apparently, he was dissatisfied with your actions, to be honest. Tell yourself: “Yes, this guy must have tremendous restraint and great respect for me so as not to lose his temper.”
2. Visualization of anger. His technique is aimed at experiencing an event that will cool down the anger. For example, some person offended you. You are angry with him. But if you could see this person in some humiliating situation, you would have a feeling of satisfaction (“Serves you right”), perhaps even pity for him. And your anger would most likely disappear.
The visualization technique teaches how to play out the entire conflict situation in the imagination, as if on an internal screen, and thereby extinguish anger. To visualize, you need to relax, focus on internal sensations and normalize your breathing. The following options for visualizing anger can be recommended:
1) reduce the height of the person who caused your anger. Let him be a dwarf, a gnome or a bug;
2) try to see this person in a funny way;
3) imagine anger in the form of a beam of energy that goes through you into the ground;
4) come up with a scene of imaginary revenge against your offender and enjoy revenge (only in the imagination, of course). published
With the modern pace of life and its tension, rarely can anyone boast of self-control and calmness. Even naturally phlegmatic people, under the pressure of circumstances, break down and lose their temper. And how can one be cool-blooded when tension grows every day: on the one hand, a person is pressured by external circumstances: problems in the family, at work, poor environment, lack of communication, financial crisis, on the other hand, his internal state, often caused by these very circumstances. But learning to manage your emotions and find peace is extremely important: your personal life, relationships with others, career, and health depend on it. A feeling of inner harmony is a state that any normal person strives for.
Malice, anger, intolerance, rudeness create tension, take away physical and mental strength, exhaust, destroy relationships and families. By learning to control your emotions, you can significantly improve the quality of your life, manage to do much more, and significantly expand your circle of friends. There are many recommendations that aim to develop the ability to remain cool-headed. The most important of them come down to the following basic rules: There is no need to dramatize events. Of course, everyone tends to exaggerate the complexity of a problem that concerns them personally. Many people think that a pimple on their own nose is more important than hunger in African countries. You should not exaggerate the negative and escalate the situation.
To learn to objectively assess the situation, you can start with the simplest thing: stop using words and phrases like “always”, “never”, “well when finally”, “I knew it.” This vocabulary is typical for people with a maximalist character, who cannot live a day without creating dramas, against the background of which Shakespeare’s Hamlet will seem like an ordinary soap opera. It is better to replenish your vocabulary with the phrases “It’s okay,” “I can do it,” “It can be worse.” Over time, they will help you learn to look at the problem from a different point of view and look for solutions instead of falling into hysterics. There is no need to tell others about the problem that has just arisen.
Of course, with some complexity it immediately seems insoluble, and retelling its essence under the sauce of violent emotions to friends and family will certainly give them the impression of the impossibility of finding a way out. The interlocutors (sometimes based on good intentions) begin to empathize and express sympathy, thereby increasing tension and preparing the ground for the final loss of control over the situation. It is better to first analyze any problem that arises alone, and, if possible, with a fresh mind. Fatigue and hunger can contribute to inappropriately inflating the complexity of the situation. It’s better to rest and eat first, and then analyze and look for possible solutions.
To maintain composure, psychologists advise using the method of visualization and metaphors. You can imagine the problem as a knot that gets tangled and tightens as anxiety and panic grow. With inner calm and concentration, on the contrary, it weakens, and it becomes possible to untangle it with ease. The ability to critically look at an irritated self from the outside, through the eyes of those around you, and then mentally imagine yourself as calm, restrained, able to focus and concentrate on finding a solution, also helps a lot. The image should be as bright as possible, thought out to the smallest detail. It is necessary to feel it to the smallest detail and realize the feeling of psychological comfort that communication with this still imaginary character creates.
It is necessary to eradicate the habit of shouting, moving nervously, rushing from corner to corner in a state of nervous tension. You can start by developing a manner of speaking quietly, slowly but confidently, thinking through all your words and assessing the reaction they can cause in your interlocutor and others. Gestures must also be controlled. Unrestrained people are characterized by violent gestures and expressive facial expressions that can convey their emotions without words. When developing an external habit of calm gestures and maintaining a restrained facial expression, emotions are automatically regulated, since a conditional connection has been established between them in the brain over the years, and a change in one link in this chain certainly leads to a change in another.
The next step is to identify the situations that most often provoke a loss of composure. For some, this is a noisy environment, loud music, for others, on the contrary, the absence of sounds. When looking for reasons for loss of self-control, every little detail should be taken into account: from the time of day to the food eaten and the degree of workload or state of boredom and idleness. Information about personal irritants helps prevent a violent outburst of emotions. The best advice on how to become cool-headed is to become aware of your ability to exercise self-control. To do this, you need to remember as many situations as possible in which you managed to remain calm in the presence of rather difficult circumstances.
Sometimes the presence of a child, strangers, or a phone call, which makes it possible to switch, helps to prevent the violent expression of emotions. Creating relaxing rituals helps a lot. For some it may be calm music, for others it may be complete silence, for others it may be watching aquarium fish. You can light scented candles. The smell of lavender, pine needles, lemon balm, and tea tree has a relaxing effect. A very important point is proper diet and adequate sleep. If you have increased nervous excitability, you should reduce the amount of coffee, tea, and sugar consumed.
Sometimes the cause of irritability is high or low blood sugar levels. It should be measured regularly and adjusted if necessary. Exercise, yoga and meditation are excellent ways to get rid of negative energy. Of course, each person knows what helps him best. It is important to remember that pacifying escaping emotions is much more difficult than preventing their manifestation.
More and more people, especially teenagers, are interested in how to become insensitive. Emotions are good. But not always. Life is unpredictable, there are ups and downs. And it is precisely the latter that can seriously injure some particularly emotional, kind, sympathetic and vulnerable people. If this happens regularly, you have to somehow abstract yourself from the situation. And the question that comes to many people’s minds is how to become cold and insensitive. Just to no longer feel pain, not to feel the sorrow of failure. This is not the best solution, but in some situations it is the only way to escape. There are several tips that will definitely help you bring this idea to life.
Not everything is given
Just take your time. First, think carefully about whether this is how you want to rid yourself of emotions. They are often more difficult to restore than to eliminate. By the way, not everyone is given the gift of being insensitive.
Remember: few people experience a true absence of emotions. Usually cruelty and composure are in a person’s blood. If there is a predisposition to these traits, then solving our today’s issue will be easy and simple. Otherwise, you will literally step on your own throat and your internal structure.
Often sympathetic, kind people think about how to become. And not vindictive. They will have to work very seriously on themselves. As practice shows, such people are not able to really bring the idea to life. Only for a while. And then there will be a feeling of guilt inside. But true composure does not allow this.
How to develop composure?
To develop this character trait, it is necessary to develop a number of qualities, including learning to maintain internal balance, behave with restraint, not dramatize or exaggerate the significance of problems, be able to be distracted and control yourself. Let's talk about how to develop these skills.
- To achieve internal balance, you will need to forget about existing fear. This will allow you to be resilient and understand how the problem can be solved. For example, if you stop being afraid of the occurrence of a certain important event, you can calm down and understand that this event must happen. It is important to control your own breathing. It should be smooth. This will help you feel calm. It is necessary to understand that problems are mandatory for solving a problem. And you can do this only after concentration. It will be hard. But only this approach will help a person develop composure;
- To feel restraint, you need to learn to notice the main thing in a problem and discard everything unnecessary. There should be no unnecessary barriers in consciousness. After this, you will be able to make the right decision and understand the depth of the problem. It is important to demonstrate the following qualities - empathy, mutual understanding. They are considered the main helpers for long-term endurance during the occurrence of a problem.
- Visualize - be able to imagine a difficult circumstance in life as a web that needs to be untangled. You won't be able to do this if you start to get nervous. The web will only get bigger. After visualizing the problem in the form of a web, you can calm down.
- To achieve composure, you will need to learn to think about the current situation , which can cause stress. It is necessary to analyze it in the context of all factors, weigh all the pros and cons, find and make the necessary decision. You cannot rush or prematurely share your experiences and concerns with other people. It’s better to be alone and think about the problem. It may turn out that the primary information was incorrect, obtained due to emotions, but in reality the situation is different and not everything is so bad.
- There is no need to dramatize when a problem arises or try to “inflate” it. You need to soberly analyze the current situation and control your own thoughts. They can lead in the wrong direction. To avoid such a situation, you will need to force yourself to think that the problem that has arisen is completely insignificant. And solving it will not require spending a lot of time and effort.
Return to suffering
The first rule that can help is to return to your suffering. Every person has some memories that bring pain or great resentment. These are the ones you will have to turn to in your subconscious every time you are overcome with positive emotions.
It usually becomes very painful to experience negative moments at first. But at one point this feeling disappears. And you stop caring. Once you achieve this, it will be easier to solve the problem.
Try to remember all the negative events at once, en masse. Only then can you fully answer how to become insensitive. Yes, it may seem impossible, but with continued practice, you will notice clear changes in your behavior.
How to let go and forget a guy
If he still hasn’t warmed up to you, don’t torture yourself: let him go. To do this, just switch to your own affairs - meet with your girlfriends more often, go shopping, play sports, study, read books. Here you will find a selection of the most interesting publications. Try not to blame yourself, repeat to yourself that this is not your person and you are not on the right path. You definitely need to get rid of bad thoughts. In this article we will tell you how to do this through meditation, sports and other activities.
Here is a video with some pretty good advice from a psychotherapist:
If necessary, meet another guy, spend time with him, go out and enjoy your freedom! And finally, remember, you will definitely meet the one who will always love you.
Lack of attention
The second rule is not for anything, not for people, not for any events. Forget about holidays, about relatives, about friends. Sometimes it is enough to fail to congratulate someone on their birthday once for you to be considered cold-blooded.
Yes, it will be difficult at the very beginning. Especially when yours comes or some bright, joyful, emotional event occurs. But you should not just ignore it, but meet it with complete indifference. Until you learn this, you won’t be able to become one. After all, such people usually rarely show their emotions. Most often, their faces show complete indifference to everything.
Types of indifference
In a relationship
Indifference in marriage is a fairly common occurrence. One of the spouses reproaches the other for indifference. The feelings they once had for each other have been swallowed up by the routine of everyday life. Both partners have come to terms with this and continue to live together only out of habit.
A relationship between partners with mutual indifference and without the desire to change anything is considered hopeless
In this case, it is necessary not to concentrate on yourself, but to talk with your partner. Perhaps it's better for you to break up.
Attitude towards other people
As a rule, a person is very painful when he feels that he is causing his partner boredom and indifference, that he has become completely uninteresting to him. However, over time, feelings dull, the pain goes away and only indifference remains. Indifference to a partner often develops into an attitude towards other people that negatively affects a person’s entire life and his relationships with others.
Indifference of men
Many young people are characterized by a certain form of indifference, which is often confused with maturity. Many people believe that a real man should be “tough” and not show his feelings so as not to seem weak. Therefore, sometimes young people put on a kind of mask of indifference.
At work
Indifference and indifference to work is quite common. A person becomes uninterested in his work, as a result of which he copes worse with his responsibilities and, of course, there can no longer be any talk of climbing the career ladder. In this case, the negative consequences of indifference manifest themselves faster and more acutely than in personal life, because today no employer will put up with an uninterested employee who does not maintain good relations with the team, who constantly makes mistakes.
On politics and the environment
The consequences of human passivity in the political and social sphere are very sad, because in this case, any important issue is decided by other people who have a certain interest. In recent years, the consequences of an indifferent attitude towards the destruction of nature have been increasingly felt.
To the children
The consequences of parents' indifferent attitude towards their children are especially severe. If parents are indifferent to their own children who need their love and attention, then over time the children begin to behave aggressively. It’s even worse if the children resign themselves and become indifferent and apathetic to everything.
Let's say no to help
A very interesting fact - refusing to help someone instantly makes you a cruel, bad person. Even if you really are simply unable to help or refuse for some specific, justified reasons. This means that in order to figure out how to become an insensitive creature, you just need to not help people. That is, in general. Absolutely. Even in small things. Remember: helping is very unprofitable. Especially close people. They often demand things from you that will cause you harm. In addition, practical help awakens positive emotions. And this is of no use to you. After all, the main task facing you is to completely get rid of emotions.
Please note that you must always refuse. And even if help is vital. Initially this will not be easy. But over time you will get used to it. By the way, very often such a step makes life much easier. You will not do anything to the detriment of yourself.
How can a girl become a cold and insensitive bitch?
Usually girls want to acquire the status of a bitch because they were previously burned in a relationship.
Pain that could have been avoided if they had not been so kind and tender-hearted may not go away for years.
To do this, you should adhere to the following settings:
- Personal interests and plans should be higher than what a man offers, even if you really want to meet him.
- Self-care is a daily ritual that cannot be ruined by any external circumstances. It is worth creating your own style, including hair styling, beautiful makeup and perfectly selected clothes. Under no circumstances should you run to the grocery store or go to bed without removing your makeup. These simple actions will help you feel self-love that does not depend on external circumstances.
- Take time for self-development. Read fiction or professional literature daily. This will help you learn to speak beautifully and interestingly.
- Stop worrying about a man's feelings or his wallet. If you still feel awkward when you refuse to meet someone on the street, break someone's heart, or are treated to a cup of coffee, it's time to realize that this is the correct alignment of things, because you deserve it simply by the fact of your existence.
- Set your conditions at the beginning of relationships with men. Meet only at a time convenient for you, maintain a mystery during dating, do not agree to sex simply out of a feeling of “it seems like it’s time.”
In fact, being a cold-blooded bitch is, first of all, living the way you want, even if it makes the lives of those around you less comfortable.
And every woman deserves this, you just have to really want it and work on your attitude towards yourself.
Watch the video in which a girl tells how to become a bitch:
Insensitivity and coldness guarantee stability in achieving your life goals, but require release, which will prevent the negative impact of pent-up emotions on the body.
Extreme sports, martial arts, and other ways to release energy in a neutral way can help with this.
Mirroring
Are you often bullied? Or maybe you are simply succumbing to eternal emotional tyranny? Gain strength and courage...and mirror your behavior. Don't be afraid to touch the nerves of your offenders. However, like all other people.
What does it mean? Treat your offenders the same way they treat you. It doesn’t matter who it is - a relative or just a friend/acquaintance. Take people who hurt you as an example. They are usually just perfect. After all, the ability to touch a nerve is a good skill for a cruel person.
What to do with those who communicate with you with kindness and friendliness? Mirroring will not help here - it is a charge of unnecessary positive emotions. Therefore, just follow the example of your offenders: try to distance yourself from such individuals, constantly tell them something offensive and unpleasant. Over time, this will become a habit for you.
Why can a guy lose interest in a girl?
The first six months of a relationship almost always fly by unnoticed and beautifully; he wants to carry you in his arms, talk to you from morning to evening, please and surprise. At the end of the candy-bouquet period, everything can change dramatically: a man often becomes cold in communicating with his soul mate. One of the reasons for this behavior is that the guy stopped loving the girl. Our other article will help you understand this or that. In it you can find the main signs of the disappearance of feelings.
The attitude of a young man (hereinafter referred to as MCH) can change even after he understands that you have a lot of shortcomings. Any little things can irritate him: the fact that you speak quickly, smoke, laugh strangely, bother you with your calls, raise your voice, etc. There may also be complaints about your appearance: according to his ideas, it turns out that you are not at all the slender person you used to be were considered, and your breasts are no longer large, and your hips are too wide, and it’s time to get rid of cellulite...
- be rude to him;
- not listening or hearing your partner;
- act like a man in a skirt;
- do not consult him;
- do not show how significant it is or go too far with it;
- restrict his freedom;
- be constantly jealous;
- stop paying attention to your appearance.
You should also not forget about the importance of intimate relationships, if you have them. Maybe the guy is bored with the monotony, or he’s tired of waiting, or he’s no longer attracted to you sexually... It’s also likely that the guy could have cooled off if the girl just got too attached to him
Men feel this, and such an attitude can only frighten and bore them. In this case, try to relax and pay more attention to yourself
It is also likely that the guy could cool down if the girl simply became too attached to him. Men feel this, and such an attitude can only frighten and bore them. In this case, try to relax and pay more attention to yourself.
Full control
Here is the golden rule that you should always remember. If you want to understand how to become emotionless, you need to take control of all your emotions. How exactly to do this? There is no exact algorithm here. Just a few tips.
First, choose a profession that forces you to suppress your emotions. For example, a doctor. There they will be able to teach you some things that will help bring our today's idea to life.
Various psychological courses and trainings are also a good way to control emotions. They are called “Emotions under control.” True, they teach more to restrain negativity. But similar principles can be interpreted for positive feelings.
In the end, try to keep everything good inside yourself and suppress it. Think: “Everything is bad.” And repeat this to yourself constantly. Even if everything is just great. Sooner or later you will notice. In this case, all that remains is to always maintain a stony, emotionless face when communicating.
This is all. Just before you become cruel and insensitive, think carefully about whether you really need it. It will be more difficult to regain your emotions. Pain is always easier to endure than to drown out.
Composure is the innate or independently developed ability of a person to choose the logically correct line of behavior in extreme conditions. This trait involves making decisions that will help overcome a negative situation, while a person regulates his judgments with the help of common sense, devoid of emotional overtones.
Because of this trait, cold-blooded people may appear reserved, closed, and have a high level of self-control, but this does not mean such a permanent state. Human nature is changeable and everyone has their own limits of patience and control, which is why composure is not a static indicator - someone who is faced with a crisis situation against a background of well-being will have a higher level of restraint than someone who has already gone through many stressful moments.
How to learn self-control and find inner peace
The head of a huge, worldwide organization has spent many years developing a program through which you can learn self-control and find inner peace. Since 1958, he has been the head of the Catholic Church under the name of Pope John XXIII. His “ten rules of calm” apply to only one day - the one you have to live today. From the Rules of John XXIII you can gain tools for personal effectiveness and self-motivation. Previously learned skills do not last a lifetime. You must always confidently and cheerfully move towards your goal. Some quickly give up and fall back into their old familiar state of business rush.
The head of a huge, worldwide organization faced the same problem. He has spent many years developing a program through which you can learn self-control and find inner peace.
The leader in question was named Giuseppe Roncalli (1881-1963). From 1958 until his death, he was the head of the Catholic Church under the name of Pope John XXIII. This man called joy and inner peace the pillars on which his life rested.
His “ten rules of calm” apply to only one day - the one you have to live today. From the Rules of John XXIII you can gain tools for personal effectiveness and self-motivation.
These are the rules.
Life
Today I will try to live the day simply - without trying to solve all the problems of my life at once.
2. Concerns
Today I will especially take care of my behavior and try to be honest with others. I won't criticize anyone. I will not correct and strive to make others better - only myself.
3. Happiness
Today I will be happy from the knowledge that I was created for happiness - not only in another, but also in this world.
4. Realism
It is today that I will adapt to circumstances without demanding that circumstances adapt to my desires.
5. Reading
Today I will devote 10 minutes of my time to reading a good work. Just as food is essential for the body, quality reading is essential for the mind.
6. Action
Today I will do a good deed. And I won’t tell anyone about this.
7. Overcoming
Today is the day I will do something that I don't like. If I get hard, I'll make sure no one notices.
Plans
Today I will create for myself a clear program of action for this day. I may not be able to complete it completely. But I will write down what I haven’t done, and thereby save myself from two evils - haste and indecision.
Courage
Today I will stop being afraid. And especially - to be afraid to rejoice in what is beautiful - and so I will believe in goodness.
What it is
Coolness does not imply emotional detachment and coldness, despite the fact that the root of the word contains these concepts. Rather, we are talking about complete or maximum control of one’s own, that is, the ability to hide them or relegate them to the background in situations where the development of an emotional reaction may interfere with a favorable outcome of the matter.
This personality quality cannot be unequivocally classified as a positive or negative spectrum. In addition to making independent decisions regarding rescue or solving crisis situations, cold-bloodedness manifests itself as a high degree of inhumanity. In its negative manifestations, cold-bloodedness is characteristic of maniacs, crazed scientists, emotionally burnt-out guards and medical staff who are unable to respond to the level of human suffering. This side is associated with a lack of empathy and, as a consequence of a frustrated instinct to preserve another human being - murders become lengthy and painful, care turns into torture, and the achievement of any goals fully justifies any sacrifice among society.
Positive manifestations of composure lie in the ability to operate exclusively with facts, to maintain the inviolability of the sphere of one’s personal experiences of an intimate nature. It is difficult to manipulate such a person and it is almost impossible for him to interfere with his assessment of the situation. This trait helps to build a clear plan even in the most unusual situations that change at high speed, which ultimately gives a person a state of calm (or it is this internal stability that allows one to maintain balance).
Many people want to learn composure, pursuing personal goals - to calm the nervous system, direct life in one harmonious direction, and solve emotional problems. It is worth noting that this task is quite feasible, since the quality of composure is not innate, although it has some biological justifications (strength of the nervous system, characteristics of temperament, etc.).
Composure not only helps to react more adequately and correctly, but becomes a real necessity in some areas of activity (military, rescue services, surgeons, crisis psychologists and other specialties directly working in the risk zone). In addition to extreme situations, the ability to take control of one’s emotions helps one to exist in highly competitive teams, with a poor microclimate, and to resist manifestations of mobbing, blackmail and emotional abuse.
Endurance and self-control
The strong-willed qualities that characterize self-control include endurance, determination, and courage.
Self-controlled individuals are marked by the ability and habit to control their behavior and their movements. Such individuals know how to control themselves and their speech, and are able to refrain from unconscious actions. Endurance and great will are the ability to achieve and wish for something, as well as the ability to force yourself to give up something when necessary. A self-controlled person is able to restrain his feelings, will not allow impulsive actions, will control his mood, and in the most difficult conditions he will not lose his presence of mind, will maintain composure, and will be able to pull himself together. A self-possessed person is patient and resilient, both in relation to long-term (boring work, aching pain, tedious waiting) and short-term stimuli (for example, sharp pain). He knows how, if necessary, to endure hardships and hardships that cause him physical suffering and, when necessary, to restrain his needs (thirst, hunger, the need for rest). E.P. Ilyin classifies self-control as a collective volitional characteristic that includes courage, endurance, and partly determination.
Fundamental and important personality traits for a leader are the ability to cope with the external expression of emotions, while remaining calm in an extreme situation, not reacting to stimuli and maintaining inner calm.
Self-control is associated with self-regulation and self-control of emotional behavior, as well as with self-restraint of emotional response, which depends on the relationship between intelligence and affect.
We all want to know how to stay calm under pressure.
Of course, I could do a ton of research on this and just summarize it for you. But the question would remain unresolved: “Will this work in the real world?”
So who knows how to be cool as a cucumber under the most pressure imaginable?
I read somewhere that when top bomb disposal experts get close to an explosive device that could blow them to shreds, their heart rate drops. I thought: guys, I know who will help us...
And I called the head of the Navy EOD team (explosive ordnance disposal service of the US Navy).
The guys from this service neutralize torpedoes while underwater. They disable biological, chemical... even nuclear weapons.
For security reasons, our interlocutor asked to remain anonymous. He worked in Iraq and Afghanistan and encountered a lot of terrible things. Repeatedly.
So what can we learn from him?
I asked him, “How do you manage to relax, focus, and make good, tough decisions when you are faced with intense psychological pressure from your own mind?”
Avoiding the rabbit hole and making dangerous assessments
"Something is going wrong. You get worried and your mind starts racing. Your “old friend” panic is right there, he wants to hug you close. Your brain starts asking, “What if X happens?” What if Y happens? What if? What if? What if?!"
Navy technicians call this the "rabbit hole." “And if you go down into it, things will get very bad very quickly.” Here's what our EOD team leader says:
“When you look at an explosive device, you think that the possibilities for people to create new, inventive and absolutely insidious IEDs are simply endless. It could be these 10,000 different things...
But you need to avoid going down the rabbit hole of panic. You need to do what Navy EOD technicians call a “threat assessment.” This means looking at the situation objectively and answering the question, “What is the problem?”
Think about whether you have had a similar situation. How did you solve this problem? What worked? You've probably dealt with something similar, or you've seen someone else do it.
Our interlocutor says about his naval colleagues that they develop a “sixth sense” that helps them assess what is happening:
“Some of the guys saw and neutralized more than one hundred different devices. It would be amazing if they could tell you what was special about a bomb before they saw it. For example, “this device probably consists of a pressure plate with a switch.” But they have previous experience (or the experience of others) that allows them to force their brain not to think about a possible scary scenario and force it to look at the situation as another version of a problem that you have already solved before. This is what allows you to move forward when you are afraid.”
Okay, you've dodged the rabbit hole and made a proper threat assessment. But what kind of mindset do you need to stay calm and focused before you start solving the problem of cutting that red wire?
