How to become cold-blooded: 6 rules

An emotional, sensitive and responsive person by nature, when faced with difficulties, often thinks about how to become calm - not to feel anything, not to worry and not to react.

On the one hand, if there is a request to change oneself, to repress emotions or suppress them in the subconscious, this is not the best idea, which can result in severe stress, psychological and physical exhaustion.

How to become cold-blooded: 6 simple rules

If, when asking the question of how to become more cold-blooded, a person means increasing stress resistance, working through his complexes and traumas, triggers - this is a completely different vector that has a creative nature. This approach can be called a course towards self-knowledge and self-improvement, which in turn opens up new horizons for us.

What does it mean to be cold-blooded and is it worth becoming so?

In searching for miracle recipes on how to become cool-headed, it is important to get to the bottom of things. What exactly do you mean, what are you striving for and why do you need it. You can understand the standard definition of this word, but the most important thing is to understand what you want, what it means in your understanding.

Decide what being cool means to you:

Have a high level of self-control and restraint.
The ability to make adequate decisions in a stressful situation.
Cruelty towards others.
The ability to hide emotions.
Feel nothing.

As you can see, the meanings can be completely different, and it’s worth determining which of these you need, why, why this is exactly what you see as the solution to your life situation.

How to become more cold-blooded - simple rules

Before you become more cold-blooded, it is important to understand which path to realizing your needs will be the most effective. If you intend to engage in self-deception, play some role, displace your real self, you will have to disappoint you - this does not work. More precisely, it can act at a short distance, but it will become a heavy burden, sooner or later it will manifest itself like a time bomb.

If the problem is stress resistance, figure out why it was formed this way and not otherwise. Determine what you lack for a high level of self-control and the ability to make decisions: find out what knowledge, support, habits are needed for this, what support and from whom, understand how, and ask for help if it is required.

What is composure?

Composure is a person’s ability to make competent and objective decisions when a tense situation or stress arises.
Synonyms for composure include self-control and restraint. Composure manifests itself in stressful situations, and a person with this quality is able to think soberly at such moments and not give in to panic. An opinion may arise that a cold-blooded person is characterized by restraint, closeness, and emotional stinginess. But these qualities are not inherent to him all the time; composure makes itself felt only when it is necessary to maintain composure in a stressful situation, i.e. composure cannot be called a static indicator.

Composure does not mean the presence of alienation of emotions, coldness. It is about having maximum control over your own feelings and having the ability to stabilize emotions to achieve a favorable outcome.

General practical advice on how to become cool-headed

When you are worried about how to become cold-blooded and indifferent to everything, again, do not forget to figure out why and why. Ask yourself these questions. Is the world really oppressive, trying to unbalance you here and now, or do you perceive it that way? Is it possible to perceive and react differently? Is this a real situation in the moment such that you lack self-control, or are you perceiving it through the prism of some painful unfinished situation from the past?

So, if you want safe and effective advice on how to become more cool-headed, answer the following questions honestly:

What is the priority problem in your life right now?
Why did you decide that you lack composure? What exactly do you mean by this characteristic?
Is there another way to solve your problem?
What do you think you were missing before to cope?
Why did you decide that you failed or did it poorly?
What do you think you really need to cope right now?
How can you improve your self-control and become more stress-resistant?

Often people think that they need outside help, but they already know the answers to their questions, if only they give themselves the opportunity to hear themselves. Or, at a minimum, determine what knowledge is missing to solve problems.

Lack of attention

The second rule is not to pay attention to anything. Neither for people, nor for any events. Forget about holidays, about relatives, about friends. Sometimes it is enough to fail to congratulate someone on their birthday once for you to be considered cold-blooded.

Yes, it will be difficult at the very beginning. Especially when your favorite holiday comes or some bright, joyful, emotional event occurs. But you should not just ignore it, but meet it with complete indifference. Until you learn this, you will not become an insensitive person. After all, such people usually rarely show their emotions. Most often, their faces show complete indifference to everything.

How to become more cool-headed by changing your habits

Among the most effective recommendations on how to learn to be cold-blooded, changing habits takes pride of place. Indeed, in practice, real changes in a person’s life occur not when he thinks, but when he does. It is important to analyze your behavior and replace it with more effective ones.

How to become cold-blooded and indifferent to everything

Here are some practical tips on how to be a cool person so you can maintain your composure and make effective decisions in stressful situations:

Express and experience emotions in the moment . If you constantly hold back, do not express your experiences, they accumulate, mental resources are spent on “pushing” them into an emotional container and storing them there. In addition to the fact that you are wasting your energy all the time, there is an increased risk that you will react overly violently to the next stressful situation and lose your composure. It is normal to have any emotions in any situation. And there are many ways to show them environmentally. Figure it out and do it. Train yourself to calmly perceive a variety of emotional reactions and express them.
Notice and record your successes . Self-control depends significantly on self-esteem. If you focus on your successes, it will give noticeable results. Keep a diary of successes and achievements, pay attention to even the smallest accomplishment - everything matters.
Make it a habit when the situation unexpectedly changes - to react to it and determine how you will act next. As soon as sudden changes happen, something doesn’t go according to plan, ask yourself how you feel and what you think about it. If possible, share your emotions with someone. And then give yourself the task of choosing what you will do, given that the situation now is different, not the same as you expected. It brings back the feeling that everything is in your hands, that you have a choice.

The connection between willpower and self-control

The volitional sphere of a person is a set of psychological properties of a person that are responsible for the content and strength of manifestation of a person’s emotions. It is these properties that determine the level of emotional stability in different life situations.

Photo by Anna Tarazevich: Pexels

The characteristics and features of a person’s willpower determine how much he can independently control his behavior at the moment of strong experiences and make the right decision at this moment. It turns out that self-control is one of the components of the volitional sphere of the individual.

If all its properties are developed harmoniously and complement each other, enhancing the level of self-control, then such a person will be able to maintain composure and the highest degree of endurance in stressful situations.

Examples of such people are heroes who, in a moment of danger, make the right decision, which is dictated in his head by a number of personal qualities and psychological characteristics. For example, a young girl, sailing on a ferry, sees a drowning man and rushes into the water to save him. Now it’s worth looking at her behavior, as if through a TV screen in slow motion, and then you can see the following chain of reactions:

A picture appeared before her eyes where the life of another person was in danger. At this moment, she had already assessed this degree of danger.
After this, she has a few seconds to decide how to proceed. She calmly and confidently decides to save him and rushes into the water.

Photo by George Milton from Pexels

Without losing her composure, she then completes the action she started and pulls the man out of the water onto the shore.

It is difficult to say which qualities of hers played the main role in the decision. The first is her moral and strong-willed sphere, the second is her courage and determination, and the third is endurance.

When it comes to everyday situations where it is difficult for a person to remain silent, not fall into hysterics and not show his real feelings, then it is always worth remembering exactly what qualities are behind this. They can be developed with the help of special trainings, techniques and personal consultation with a psychologist.

How to be a cool person at work

Many people think that if they learn how to be a cool person at work, it will lead them to success. Many people see a variety of obstacles on their career path - an unfairly demanding boss, envious colleagues, annoying clients. There are a lot of things that prevent you from simply working and getting results. Whether this is true or false, everyone probably has their own subjective opinion on this matter.

To achieve success in your career, it is important not to just wonder how to be a cool person, but to adapt to the situation, developing your abilities. At the same time, it is important to understand that not every position, not every workplace and not every team may suit you.

When for some reason you have to endure a job that is not suitable for certain parameters, it is important to come to an agreement with yourself. Give your subconscious feedback that, yes, you heard its signal, you understand that this team, boss, such clients, such a workplace and such tasks are not suitable for you. That you, as soon as you complete your particular business, will get a different job, set clear rules for clients, rebuff your boss, or put your colleagues in their place. With the understanding that you won't have to endure it for long, you can remain much more restrained.

Landing on the Neva

The year was 1963. A Tu-124 plane with passengers on board took off from Tallinn airport. Even on takeoff, an emergency occurred - the landing gear jammed. The crew commander, Viktor Mostovoy, requested an emergency landing, but the fog that thickened over the city did not allow it to be made. He was offered to sit in Pulkovo, on a spare dirt runway (Leningrad). While emergency services were rushing to the intended landing site, the plane was circling at an altitude of 400 meters, running out of fuel. When nothing foreshadowed trouble, another unusual situation awaited the crew - the fuel meter turned out to be faulty. When the plane approached the eighth circle, the fuel supply ran out and the left engine stalled, and a couple of minutes later the second one, although the meters showed the presence of fuel.

Finding himself at a distance of 21 km from the airport, the 30-year-old commander of the airliner, maintaining his composure, made the only right decision - to land on the Neva without endangering the city. Having chosen the area between the Finlyandsky and Bolsheokhtinsky bridges, he delicately landed the plane ten meters from one of them. Having made an emergency landing on the river, he saved the lives of passengers and crew. The man's composure was amazing. However, eyewitnesses say: Mostovoy was the last to leave the liner, and everyone was amazed - in a few minutes he became completely gray.

So, there are two main indicators of composure: the presence of a stressful situation and the ability to maintain clarity of thinking, which made it possible not to succumb to panic, but to make the only correct decision in the current situation. We list the synonyms of this concept:

self-control;
calm;
presence of mind;
self-control;
excerpt.

Composure here is seen as a personality quality, a character trait that the crew commander possessed.

How to Learn to Be Cool to Avoid Relationship Difficulties

Having danced on a rake, a person can begin to seriously think about how to become cold-blooded and indifferent to everything, including relationships, the opposite sex in general, or even to a loved one who hurts. Many people set themselves the task of not feeling anything at all. Is it possible to achieve this? And is it necessary? Let's take a closer look.

Personal relationships are that area of our life that is precisely created for the manifestation of feelings. And by wondering how to become cold-blooded and indifferent to everything, both to your loved one and to the opposite sex in general, you are doing yourself a disservice. The fact is that a person has natural needs for love, recognition, acceptance, closeness, intimacy. By denying himself this, he gets distortions, imbalance in life and systemic problems.

If you are suffering in a relationship, the task is not to stop feeling, but to figure out what is causing you pain and why, why you tolerate it, how you build relationships and what the actual problem is. There is no right way to be happy in love, but there is one condition without which a relationship loses its meaning - allow yourself to be sincere and open. If this is not the case, this is probably the direction you need to dig. Then you will figure out where the dog is buried.

Episode from "Seventeen Moments of Spring"

The 1973 cult film left many powerful episodes in the memory, one of which was the interrogation of radio operator Kat. The SS Sturmbannführer who conducted him uses an inhumane technique against the mother: in order for the intelligence officer to hand over Stirlitz, he places her infant child naked near the window, although he may die from frostbite. At the same time, the fascist himself is nervous, justifying his actions with his duty to the country. There are two more Germans present in the scene: SS Unterscharführer Barbara Krain and Helmut Calder.

Let's pay attention to their behavior. Helmut retains his humanity; he realizes that the child is not to blame and cannot be held responsible for the actions of adults. He tries to calm the baby down and resist the actions of Jurgen Rolf. And when this fails, he pulls the trigger to deal with the baby’s cruel tormentor. Barbara demonstrates completely different behavior. Not a single muscle moved on the face of the woman, whose very nature was designed to protect children. In a negative sense, composure is indifference, insensitivity, coldness, insensitivity, apathy, mental callousness (synonyms). Extremely incapable of compassion, she has no emotional response to what is happening. Moreover, according to the scenario, the woman is only 20 years old.

What makes people like this? Lack of love and heartfelt affection in the family, alienation from loved ones, thoughtless fanaticism. Of course, Krain cannot serve as an example to follow, but the actions of Viktor Mostovoy inspire respect, and many would like to maintain clarity of thought in a difficult situation.

How to develop composure to become successful

Popular recommendations on how to cultivate composure are often aimed at giving some standard recipe for success. Spoiler alert: there is no universal recipe for success. Firstly, what success is for you, what it is for your neighbor, what it is for your parents, what it is for your favorite blogger or pop star - these are different things. The biggest misconception is to look up to another person's success. The proper task is to understand what success means to you and what you need for it.

You don’t have to become made of stone, reinforced concrete, memorize tips on how to cultivate composure and become a master of restraint. Find your path, strive for what you need. And, very likely, along this path you will develop self-control, increase self-esteem and stress resistance. The most important thing to understand clearly is that you, like any person, have the right to be happy. And, accordingly, do what you need to be happy. Naturally, within the limits of the law.

Return to suffering

The first rule that can help is to return to your suffering. Every person has some memories that bring pain or great resentment. These are the ones you will have to turn to in your subconscious every time you are overcome with positive emotions.

It usually becomes very painful to experience negative moments at first. But at one point this feeling disappears. And you stop caring. Once you achieve this, it will be easier to solve the problem.

Try to remember all the negative events at once, en masse. Only then can you fully answer how to become insensitive. Yes, it may seem impossible, but with continued practice, you will notice clear changes in your behavior.

How to develop composure yourself

We come to the question of how to develop composure that will help you in life. If you are serious about developing it, the following rules will come to your aid:

Monitor situations in which you lack resilience.
Analyze them and why you were unable to show the restraint you thought was necessary.
Plan the optimal response to a similar life situation.
Learn to distinguish between circumstances that you can and cannot change.
Accept as an axiom what you cannot change, focusing on what you have a choice.
Identify what support you lack in the most common stressful situations in your life.
Create an action plan to create these supports.

When thinking about how to develop composure on your own, don't forget that asking for help is a very useful skill that helps you maintain composure. On the one hand, you are responsible for your own life. On the other hand, this does not mean that you cannot receive outside support. Knowing that you will ask for help when you need it will help you effortlessly persevere under almost any stress.

How to develop self-control

There are several feasible first aid remedies for developing self-control:

ignoring external stimuli, for example, for training, you can use a phone call that rings at the wrong time. The individual’s task is to ignore the call, in this way one can learn to abstract from other stimuli that throw oneself out of balance;

delaying time and not immediately reacting to the opponent’s explosive reaction, while using a count of ten;

the ability to switch your attention and relax at the right moment.

A state of stress, excessive fatigue, and tension cause chemical reactions in the body that negatively affect behavior. Both the body and the psyche need relaxation and rest. To do this, it is necessary to create in the imagination a place to which the individual will mentally move as soon as he feels tired or overexerted. This could be, for example, an autumn park, a room with a soft chair, a beach with palm trees - everything that can lead to a state of tranquility and the return of comfort. You need to find within yourself that support point that will replenish your reserves of vital energy.

Conclusions: advantages and disadvantages of composure

Having defined for yourself what it means to be cold-blooded, and having decided whether you need such a trait, you can understand which direction you should move in, what to develop in yourself in order to improve your life. The main advantage is that you will be able to make rational decisions calmly and carefully. The downside is that the brightness and emotional richness of life will decrease in a certain way, and both negative and positive experiences will weaken.

When looking for tips and tricks on how to become cool-headed, do not forget that there is no point in breaking and remaking yourself - you are a unique person who probably just needs to know yourself better, find and develop your strengths in order to be on top .

Endurance - how to train

1. How to train endurance? Self-control is, first of all, your ability to control your behavior, speech, and refrain from actions that are considered unnecessary or harmful in given conditions. Will is not only the ability to set a goal and achieve it, but also the ability to give up something when necessary. Without brakes there can be no car, just as without brakes there can be no endurance, and therefore no will.

2. You must control your feelings, behavior, control your mood, and avoid aggressive actions. Even in difficult situations, never lose your peace of mind and calm, as they form a sober mind. You must be resilient and full of patience, both to short-term irritants, for example, toothache, unpleasant sounds, etc., and to long-term ones: long waits, routine work, aching pain.

3. Also, to start training endurance, you first of all need to start getting good sleep - at least eight, nine hours a day. Since lack of sleep sharply increases the likelihood of stress. And as a result, there is a decrease in restraint.

4. If anger and aggression have accumulated in you, a boxing sports section, for example, may be a very good way to dispose of it. Where you will throw out your negative energy on sports equipment and sparring partners. Training endurance requires a lot of patience and self-control.

5. First of all, think about what interferes with your psychological peace and balance. What makes you most susceptible to stress, insomnia and psychological distress. After all, over time, all this becomes systematic, and you become aggressive, conflictual and unrestrained.

6. Awaken to yourself. If you devote all your time to work, then you are a mechanical robot. You live in a world of services and technology, not for it. Be that as it may, and no matter how busy your working day is, try to rest, at least every two hours for 10 minutes. Go to the wild nature, relax mentally and physically. Remember how the stream gurgles, the smell of grass, etc. After all, living nature is very good at helping you relax and gain new strength.

7. Divide your condition into two categories - at home and at work. Everything that happens at work remains within its walls, everything that happens at home remains there. And these two states should not affect each other. Most people, leaving work, continue to think about it throughout the evening, and this affects their relationships with family and friends.

8. Don’t stop working on yourself if you suddenly notice that your psychological state has worsened due to stress, fatigue, or quarrels. Try to improve it as quickly as possible. It is better to “repair” the psyche on the fly than to wait until it breaks down completely. Smile more often, because with a smile on your face you can overcome all failures and adversity.

Mirroring

Are you often bullied? Or maybe you are simply succumbing to eternal emotional tyranny? Gain strength and courage...and mirror your behavior. Don't be afraid to touch the nerves of your offenders. However, like all other people.

What does it mean? Treat your offenders the same way they treat you. It doesn’t matter who it is - a relative or just a friend/acquaintance. Take people who hurt you as an example. They are usually just perfect role models. After all, the ability to touch a nerve is a good skill for a cruel person.

What to do with those who communicate with you with kindness and friendliness? Mirroring will not help here - it is a charge of unnecessary positive emotions. Therefore, just follow the example of your offenders: try to distance yourself from such individuals, constantly tell them something offensive and unpleasant. Over time, this will become a habit for you.