Modesty: pros, cons and how to get rid of it

• How is character quality expressed?
• When modesty is a source of difficulty
• How to stop being shy
• The right attitude towards wealth
• Developing a leader within yourself
• Ability to communicate
• Development of a behavior strategy
• Appearance

We all live in an ambiguous and imperfect world. In it, the good often gets in the way, and the negative helps to achieve results. This statement is also suitable for modesty, which in modern life often does not contribute to human happiness and well-being. If quality interferes, then you need to neutralize this trait of your character. Let's figure out how to get rid of modesty to increase efficiency in life.

Definition of the concept

The concept of modesty is identified with calmness and restraint; such people do not strive for a luxurious life and do not make demands on it. Modest people know well the limits of what is permitted and never cross them. Such a person can be recognized even by his appearance: he will be dressed simply and discreetly.

This quality is not so bad, but not when a person develops excessive modesty.

Then he may often be in a state of awkwardness from the events taking place. It is expressed in excessive concern about the opinions of others: he can even put the thoughts of others more important than his own.

People around can take advantage of this feature and create discomfort for the modest fellow. For the same reasons, modesty can become an obstacle to achieving your goals. Such people rarely strive for leadership and always let others go ahead of them. Being in the spotlight is unacceptable for them; they strive to remain in the shadow of less talented, but more assertive individuals.

Modesty can create ongoing stress and missed opportunities for a person. When this quality interferes with life, you need to fight it.

If modesty provokes stressful conditions, it is necessary to fight it

Pros of modesty

Modesty is inherent mainly in the female sex. At all times, this character trait has been a companion to femininity. She gave the girls meekness, helpfulness and pliability. It was believed that modest girls never swear or be rude, they will always fulfill any requests and support in difficult times. To stop being modest meant to lose the femininity of your nature.

Nowadays, it is not uncommon for a woman to play someone else’s role in society because of this trait; she skillfully hides her personal position and no one knows what her thoughts are about. In the eyes of others, modest people, regardless of gender, look more dignified.

Disadvantages of modesty

Modest people rarely reach any heights and remain unknown to anyone, so modesty sometimes gets in the way.

1. Modest women attract men only at first in a relationship, then this trait can become boring and interfere with their personal life.
2. Colleagues can take advantage of the reliability of modest people; they are almost always ready to help, sometimes even to their own detriment.
3. It is quite difficult for modest people to achieve anything at work; asking for a promotion or an increase in the salary of their boss is unacceptable for them.

Evaluate other people honestly

Shy people often make the wrong first impression. When they first meet, many people think that such a person is arrogant and reserved. And he doesn’t really want to communicate. Therefore, shy people have to get out of their way and show with all their might that they like their interlocutor, flatter them and put them in the best light. Although in reality this may be far from the case. Therefore, in order not to create the wrong opinion, evaluate people the way they deserve it. If you don't like a person, you don't have to try to build a good relationship with him.

Reasons for modesty

Modesty is a quality that is formed in childhood. Its development or attenuation is influenced by many reasons and factors, which are based on relationships in the family, school and in society.

Reasons for developing excessive modesty:

• constant reproaches from parents, criticism of their child, comparison with others;
• being too demanding of oneself;
• ridiculing or discussing the child’s shortcomings in public;
• suppression of initiative.

These reasons especially influence the development of personality in childhood and lead to the development of fear of making a mistake, being misunderstood or rejected, and a feeling of self-doubt is formed. In adulthood, excessive modesty can become a problem.

The feeling of self-doubt is formed in childhood, when parents criticize the child

Don't demand perfection from yourself, be yourself

Shy people often doubt their abilities and criticize all their actions. In the pursuit of perfection, such people lose a lot of strength. Shyness forces a person to think about every action and every word. Before an important conversation, such people can spend hours scrolling through the dialogue, bringing it to perfection. And in the end they work themselves up so much that they just look stupid. Don't try to make yourself perfect. After all, every person has the right to little weaknesses. And if you are too shy, admit it to yourself first. Cast aside all doubts and be yourself.

Methods to get rid of modesty

Despite the fact that modesty begins in childhood, in adulthood you can get rid of this character trait. In some difficult cases, you need to turn to a qualified specialist for help, but first you can try to change yourself. You will have to rebuild yourself, change your habits and start looking at life from a different angle.

You should pay attention to the conditions under which this quality manifests itself and devote maximum time and analysis to this moment. We will have to overcome internal barriers.

Advice from professionals will help you overcome modesty.

1. After analyzing a certain situation, it is worth considering the positions of the people around you. To understand whether the motives of each person’s words and actions towards you are correctly interpreted, you need to stand in his place and look at the situation through his eyes.
2. You need to drive away thoughts that diminish your personal significance. They can be imposed by ill-wishers.
3. Don't be dramatic. Not every event is as important as it may seem at first. Not every comment from every person should be taken into account.
4. Working on your own confidence will help you overcome modesty. The easiest way to develop it is by doing something new. Confronting fears will help improve this skill.
5. Stepping out of your comfort zone will help you overcome modesty. There is no need to withdraw into yourself after the first unsuccessful attempt to start something new; the main thing is to set a goal and go towards it.
6. Stop underestimating yourself and your capabilities, and direct your energy to developing your talent.
7. Stop thoughts like: “What will people think?” Focus on your needs. Healthy selfishness has never harmed anyone.
8. There should be more communication in life with people to whom you can express your opinion. At first, shyness will make itself felt, but over time, expressing your thoughts will become easier.
9. There is no need to strive to do everything perfectly. The fear of doing something wrong gives rise to the development of shyness. Don’t try to jump over your head, but don’t lower your own bar either.
10. Don't forget about your appearance. You can stop being modest for others by changing your image. Neatness in clothing is not only perceived positively by others, but also adds self-confidence to the wearer. Correct posture can say much more about a person than his words. It creates the first impression of a person and shapes the attitude towards him.

It’s worth practicing your speech: removing filler words and monitoring the timbre of your voice and the pace of your speech. You can practice making speeches in front of a mirror. At a crucial moment, you cannot think about the fact that something may not work out because thoughts are material.

Modest people are advised to develop public speaking skills

Everyone has failures in life, but dwelling on them is not the answer. In any unpleasant situation, you need to look for positive moments and learn from it some experience. Perhaps everything turned out better than it could have been, it’s just that the realization of this has not yet come. You need to develop positive thinking and focus on successful moments.

Alternative Methods

Much depends on the personal perception of others. If you treat others with understanding and do not prematurely draw conclusions about their attitude towards you, then perhaps the uncertainty will go away on its own.

A more active life position will help remove modesty. You need to find something you enjoy and that will motivate you to change. When involved in creativity, a person almost always wants to share its results with someone.

Public speaking in front of a large audience is good for developing courage in a person, but you should start with small speeches in front of friends.

Learning to say “no” when it is necessary is an effective means of combating excessive shyness.

It’s a good idea to read relevant literature that will help you understand yourself. Often excessive timidity is caused by complexes and other psychological disorders.

Be more sociable and smile

Easy to say, but hard to do. Shy people are not always unsociable. They just find it difficult to communicate with strangers or in public. In a circle of close friends, such a person can be the life of the party. Try to imagine that there are a couple of your close friends in an unfamiliar company and try to communicate more. Well, if it’s difficult to communicate, for starters, at least smile more. This way you will create a pleasant first impression and will no longer be treated as an arrogant and boring person.

Talk to yourself about yourself as if you were talking to someone else.

Record your speech on video or, for starters, on a voice recorder. But you will still have to record yourself on video in order to look at your behavior from the outside. You need to not only record a video, but also watch it. Try fooling around in front of the camera, singing or dancing. Another way to overcome shyness is to talk to yourself about yourself. But you need to speak as if you were discussing another person, not yourself. For a shy person, even this will be difficult. But with the help of this method, you will gradually be able to overcome excessive shyness.

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Master the basics of public speaking

The main problem of all shy people is the inability to express their thoughts. Especially in a large company among strangers. When such a person comes to an unfamiliar company, he spends most of the time in silence, afraid to get a word in. From the outside it doesn't look very good. It is not necessary to learn to be the life of the party, you just need to be able to carry on a conversation. Don't be afraid to insert an extra word into the conversation. It will be hard at first. But this will have to be done. The most important thing is not to think about every word you say and try to relax and behave as naturally as possible.

Prepare in advance for an important event

If an important event awaits you ahead, for example, an exam or an interview, and you cannot find a place for yourself, suffering from anxiety, you should draw up a rough plan of action. Naturally, you shouldn’t bring your monologues and actions to perfection. This will only make you more nervous. But it wouldn’t hurt to draw up a rough plan for your behavior. The main thing is to consider several options. No one can guarantee that everything will be as you expect. It might even be worth rehearsing the plan with a loved one. This will help you relax and be more confident.