A 2-year-old child is often capricious and freaks out. Two year old crisis

Pregnancy is a wonderful time. Newly made parents picture in their dreams that bright and carefree life that will be filled only with joy and happiness because of the little toddler. That's who, but they will definitely raise their child to be the best, obedient and independent.

Turning a blind eye to all his visits, allowing a little too much, neither parents nor grandparents notice how they are approaching the important date of the baby - 2 years. This is where the first problems usually begin...

There's really only one problem. Only now it concerns all aspects of the child’s life and his environment. The once sweet, flexible and kind baby sometimes turns into a “monster” and a domestic tyrant. The child stops listening and usually answers all questions about help briefly but clearly: “I myself!”

Photo by Michal Bar Haim on Unsplash

And that's not so bad. An even bigger problem is that against the backdrop of all this, the baby’s parents begin to quarrel over raising the baby. And sometimes they shift responsibility for bad upbringing onto each other. But what happens to the child? Shortcomings in upbringing or something else? We need to figure it out!!!

If we turn to psychological terms, this difficult age for a child is called the “Two-year-old crisis.” This crisis is due to the fact that in an instant a child can turn from a cute toddler into a stubborn and capricious one. Freaking out and hysterics - they will become the child’s “best friends” in the near future. A bad mood can occur several times a day, most often without reason.

The main goal of a child demonstrating this behavior is to get what he wants at any cost. And the older the baby gets, the more difficult it is to switch his attention or distract him with some tricks. Now the child stands to the last, like a stone wall.

Parents' confusion

When this difficult and difficult period for everyone comes, parents are lost and do not know how to behave and how to react to all this. Even if this is not the first baby in the house, the situation in the family is still tense. And it becomes unbearable for family members to live in such a difficult atmosphere: a nervous child, constant hysterics, strained relationships between household members.

Unfortunately, a family that is faced with such problems rarely seeks advice and help from a specialist. And most often he turns to various forums and his friends for advice. The advice of such acquaintances varies. And no one is safe from receiving “toxic” advice. In such cases, people advise frightened parents to “ask well so that they know for the future.”

Photo on Unsplash

But here it should be remembered that such a method will not only not bring good results, but will also break the trusting relationship between the baby and the parent. Thus, by resorting to such methods of education, parents make the child more and more nervous. And his behavior is deteriorating more and more, and now his parents’ nerves are on edge...

Additional recommendations

If a child begins to have tantrums frequently, parents need to urgently take the necessary actions. What can help:

• adjusting the daily routine;
• regular exercise;
• prevention of physical and mental fatigue;
• complete relaxation in the fresh air;
• a favorable atmosphere in the family, good and trusting relationships with parents;
• the child has the right to choose and can exercise independence.

All family members should know the moments in which the baby does not have the right to choose. There should be no exceptions. The parents' requirements for the child must be firm and clearly formulated.

It is important that the child sooner or later understands that the rules established in the family cannot be broken. No amount of hysterics or attempts to achieve their results will bring results, and parents always firmly adhere to the rules and established restrictions.

How does the 2 year crisis manifest itself?

The crisis of 2 years, unfortunately, manifests itself very violently. The child begins to demonstrate his dissatisfaction with every little thing, throws things and toys on the floor, and even hits his parents. The sources of scandals and screams of the baby can be (most often) minor little things.

For example, a baby may throw a water bottle on the floor because it is only half full. Or the child wants to wear warm pants or rubber boots outside, not taking into account the fact that it is hot outside. In such cases, explanations are unlikely to help. And all stories, as a rule, end in scandals.

Most parents admit that it is not the child’s reaction to refusals or tantrums out of nowhere that frightens them, but rather the reaction of the people around them. Most often, if a child throws another tantrum in a crowded and public place, he will find some “well-meaning” person who will start spouting moralizing lectures without really understanding the situation.

Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash

But now we are not talking about strangers, and not about the bad manners of individuals. Let's return to the child. When such “ugly” behavior takes over, parents begin to go through all sorts of cases - at what stage did they miss the upbringing of their child, and how to turn back to fix everything.

But, no matter how ironic it may sound, in fact, the parents are not to blame for everything that is happening. The very reason for all this is the crisis. Its reason is that the child begins to more and more actively master the world around him. It's interesting and exciting for him. And he wants more and more independence.

But, due to his age, he will not yet be able to completely do without the help of his parents. And here comes the turning point. Do it yourself and reject the help of your parents, or accept this help, which means staying small. Of course, every child wants to grow up faster. It is this desire and desire that is inherent in this behavior of a two-year-old child. “I myself!” - the motto of this difficult period. And it is by this phrase that one can “recognize” the crisis that has begun.

Photo on Unsplash

When the child was little, he happily walked into the arms of his mother or father, ate from a spoon, lay obediently and waited for him to be dressed and allowed many more manipulations to be done to him. Now the baby begins to understand that there is “he”, there is “mom” and “dad”. Also, the child learns the limits of what is permitted; in other words, he tests the waters.

During this period, it may seem to parents that the child is deliberately trying to piss them off, trying to manipulate or establish power over others. But this is far from true. The child just wanted to be a little more independent. He learns to interact with this world, which is still so frightening and mysterious, but at the same time, so interesting and fascinating.

The main task of adults during this difficult period is to be patient, not to give in to provocations, and, of course, to allow the baby to be a little independent. There are no exact dates when a child will begin this crisis. There is only an age to which this crisis is “tied” - 2 years. It starts around this time. And it continues until the baby turns 3.5 years old.

Parenting Tactics and Strategies

What should parents do to prevent hysterics? What is the best tactic for adults to deal with in a situation where it has already begun?

1) Avoid hysterics.

An explosion of emotions is easier to prevent than to stop. Try not to get hysterical. Monitor changes in mood (dissatisfaction, irritation, tearfulness) and be prepared to distract your child from a situation that could potentially lead to a negative reaction on his part. Draw his attention to something very beautiful, say something unexpected. Be diplomatic, soften your tone, avoid direct instructions. Sometimes it is enough to express sympathy for a child’s bad mood or condition to prevent unwanted expressions of emotions. Help your baby relax: sit him on your lap, hug him, talk to him, stroke his head. Such tactics only work before hysteria or at the very beginning.

2) Understand the reasons.

Think about what caused the hysterical attack: fatigue, hunger, violation of agreements? Or was the child seeking your attention? If you know the true reason for what is happening, it will be easier for you to understand how to proceed: it’s time to go home to rest, you need to have a snack or restore justice.

If a child is fighting for your attention, you need a more serious and comprehensive approach, which will require adjustments in communication with the baby. If a baby has to so sophisticatedly attract the attention of his mother and father, he obviously lacks parental participation and confirmation of the inviolability of the position of his beloved child.

3) Use energy for peaceful purposes.

Children are bundles of energy that can be splashed out at the first opportunity. Channel this energy into a peaceful channel: walk more, maintain a high level of physical activity, play sports. Ages from 1 to 4 years are the period of mastering basic motor skills. Help your child learn to skate, ride a scooter, ride a bicycle, swim, dance, play football or other ball games, run, jump, etc. Don’t forget about creative and intellectual development: drawing, modeling, mosaics, puzzles, reading, simple counting, construction sets, puzzles are a great pastime throughout the day, especially in the morning after waking up, in the afternoon when you need to take a break from physical activity, and in the evening before bed. A child who is constantly busy with something (of course, reasonably, with pauses), does not sit idle and does not die of boredom, simply does not have the strength and desire to waste energy on tantrums.

4) Communicate.

Stay in good contact with your child: read, play, communicate, organize joint activities and leisure time, involve the baby in family affairs, discuss topics from the life of adults that are acceptable at a given age, which are necessary for the little one to understand the issues of the world order. How shops and airports work, why vacations are given only once a year, what professions there are, why people study and go to work, how and what adults spend their earned money on, how the products that end up on our table are grown and produced. By communicating with your baby not only about children's topics, you maintain a high level of trust and avoid generational conflict. It is always easy for you to find a common language with your child, and your baby does not feel too small, “not old enough” to understand something and learn something. This is extremely important both for self-esteem and for the calm and confident social development of the child.

5) Explain yourself.

In a situation of conflict of interests, your “no”, “you can’t”, “this is how it should be” is not enough. If you expect your child to behave in a certain way or perform certain actions, be clear about it. Sit down so that you are at eye level with your baby. Calmly, but firmly and in a friendly manner, explain what and why is now expected of him: to walk on the playground he must wear shoes, to play with other children he must stop taking away other people’s toys, etc.

Sometimes the baby may refuse to cooperate with you, bargain, or put pressure on you. In this case, change the subject, say something unexpected, distract him with any other object, an invitation to play, or a change of location.

If the child does not switch, do not start begging, bargaining and putting pressure on him - this only fuels the need for attention, which is often the cause of children's tantrums.

6) Negotiate.

Before going to the supermarket together, explain to your child what purchases you are going to make. A cart filled with groceries is not something that mom wanted to buy for herself, it’s for the whole family, including him. Explain why the child cannot demand something for himself if there was no prior agreement that he himself chooses the type of yogurt or the color of the toothbrush. You also go to a children's store for a specific purpose, and a huge box with a construction set is not an alternative to a small teddy bear, which was the original goal.

Explain to your child the reason for your refusal. He must learn that desires are not fulfilled on demand, that all serious purchases must be carefully thought out, timed to coincide with an important event, that for this purpose money must be specially set aside. It is good if children from an early age learn from their parents that negative emotions in response to refusal are destructive, do not benefit, and most importantly, do not solve the problem.

7) Teach your child to express dissatisfaction in a civilized way.

Tantrums happen because young children do not have other, more acceptable ways to express their feelings. Let your child know that there is nothing wrong or strange about being in a bad mood from time to time; it happens to all people. Teach him phrases that he can use to describe his state: “I’m hungry,” “I’m sad,” “I’m angry,” “I’m bored.” Praise your child when he expresses in words what is on his mind.

Don't react.

Of course, you cannot ignore a child’s tears. But if you are convinced that this is hysterical manipulation, when your capricious person controls the situation and deliberately screws himself up to get what he wants, and the “degree” only increases, you can try to pretend that this scene does not bother you.

If the hysteria has already begun, you expressed sympathy for the child, tried to talk to him and are now sure that his behavior is not related to objective reasons (hunger, fatigue, pain), continue to do your business and do not react. The baby will understand that there are no spectators, and will stop resorting to hysterics in order to achieve what he wants. In any case, he should receive a clear signal that his violent expression of emotions will not change your decision.

Psychologists advise that if your presence only fuels hysteria associated with manipulation, or if you feel that you are starting to lose your temper, simply leave the child alone. After your baby has calmed down, you can tell him that you are glad that he was able to cope with his feelings and that you understand them well.

There is an opinion that it is impossible to ignore a child during a hysteria, as this can cause him injury. This is true of uncontrollable hysterics, when the baby himself does not know why he behaves this way. But if we are talking about something that the child asks to buy, it is very important for the parent to be persistent. In this way, you will show that it is impossible to “force” another person to fulfill desires - in this case, using psychological pressure in the form of hysteria. This way the child will learn a lesson and understand that people have boundaries that should not be violated.

We advise you to read the book by psychologist Julia Gippenreiter “Communicate with a child. How?” in order to better understand your child and the reasons for his behavior.

9) The main thing is safety.

Ignoring tactics are only possible in situations where you are sure that the child is safe. Make sure that he is not in danger: a tantrum can start in a children's toy store or next to a busy highway. Take your child away from the source of potential danger, even if this means taking advantage of the position of a stronger adult. Refrain from showing irritation and aggression: confidently but calmly take the baby into a strong hug and take him to a safe place.

10) Stay calm.

If your child has lost control of himself, he needs you with a cool and clear mind. Take a deep breath (preferably several) and try to maintain your composure. Increased heart rate, irregular breathing, perspiration on the forehead, sweating, feelings of frustration, annoyance, anger, resentment and humiliation (in the presence of strangers) are an incomplete list of reactions that you may experience in response to a child's tantrum. Don't show it, remain calm. If the child feels that he has touched your nerve, he will continue to put pressure on your sore spot. Don't yell back, demonstrate the behavior you expect from your little rebel. It is important that the algorithm of your reactions to hysteria remains unchanged.

11) Do not bribe or punish.

You want to please your baby after he was very upset, perhaps you are tormented by remorse, trying to make amends and... making a serious mistake. Rewarding a child with a toy, rides, or some rare privilege after a violent tantrum means reinforcing unwanted behavior. The kid is smart enough to connect a tantrum in the morning with a trip to the toy store in the evening.

Hysteria is the reaction of a child who has not learned to control his emotions, and this is more his trouble than his fault. After the baby’s emotions have subsided, act as if nothing happened, do not remind him of what happened. Hysterics should also not have any negative consequences. It is unacceptable to punish a child for lacking self-control and effective negotiation skills.

Remember that you are not alone in this situation. Many children behave this way at an early age, until they reach the level of speech development that would allow them to verbalize demands and arguments. They grow up, find themselves in different life situations, observe how their parents and other immediate environment cope with social challenges, and learn the most appropriate tactics and strategies of behavior for themselves.

What should parents do during a 2-year-old crisis?

How should parents behave in those moments when the baby begins to become hysterical? And in general – how to behave during this difficult period??? The best way is for parents to provide more independence than before. Allow him too much (unless, of course, it threatens the baby’s safety). And also two rules:

Don't give your child all the toys at once

You should not give your child access to all toys at once. The fact is that the child will very quickly lose interest in them. If there are really a lot of toys, then you need to put some of the toys in a box and hide it for a while. After a couple of months, you should take the toys out of the box. And put in the box the toys the child has been playing with these months.

Photo by Shitota Yuri on Unsplash

Create activities and entertainment for your child. It happens that tantrums that arise out of the blue are the result of the fact that the child is... simply bored! Due to his age, the child cannot always come up with some kind of game or find entertainment. When playing, you should abandon boring moralizing and give your child complete freedom, of course, within the framework of permissiveness.

Become a child's partner

You always need to be ready to help your baby. After all, now a child is nothing more than a generator of new ideas. And very often it happens that he himself is not able to carry out his idea due to limited physical capabilities. In such cases, it is not possible to help the child and mom or dad should come.

But it is also important to remember the motto of this wonderful age: “I myself!” This means that in order for a child to continue to want to play with adults, it is very important to know the line where the child should be helped and where the child should be allowed to be independent for a little while. For example, you can bring a jar of water to the flowerbed to your mother. But the child will be able to water the flower from this jar on his own.

!!!Important!!! It should be remembered that the child has not yet learned to correctly express his negative emotions. It is faster for him to show his dissatisfaction in this way than to explain to his parents what exactly caused the storm of indignation.

If a child wants to play with his parents, then he should be given this opportunity. And also refrain from comments like “Well, just 10 minutes, and then you can do it yourself!” Then the baby will not be able to fully devote himself to the game, but will wait for when this time will end. Here you should just relax and enjoy playing with your child. And in the end, let him get such pleasure from the fact that he himself finished the game.

On the way to growing up

Children grow up, explore the world, acquire new skills, gradually getting used to situations, people, relationships, rules. Learning to cope with daily challenges like adults requires years of patient training.

The age from 2 to 5 years is the most vulnerable in terms of the stability of the child’s psyche. The lack of necessary speech and social skills imposes certain restrictions on the ability of children to find an acceptable way out of difficult situations from the point of view of adults. This is not easy at any age, and if a child who is not experienced enough, does not have the gift of persuasion, is unable to express his feelings and desires, and even does not always understand what is expected of him, loses control over his emotions, then one is even more surprised. nothing, this is more a norm than a violation of it. The result is outbursts of anger, whims, hysterics. There are few families unfamiliar with this disaster.

• Hysteria is a state of extreme emotional arousal that results in loss of self-control. In children of the first years of life, signs of hysteria can include screaming, squealing, crying, and stamping their feet. You can often see how the baby begins to bang his fists, throw objects, roll around on the floor, and sometimes even bang his head against the wall, bite himself and others.
• Parents who are already familiar with this phenomenon know that in a state of hysteria, children cannot perceive information received in the usual ways (gestures, glances, facial expressions, speech), and all exhortations turn out to be useless. Sometimes tantrums become so frequent and severe that they exhaust both the child and the adults.
• Don't believe anyone who tells you that parents cannot influence a child's bad temperament. Patience, will, wisdom and emotional stability of the adult himself are your main weapons against children's hysteria.

What are the reasons for the explosion of children's emotions, how should parents behave to prevent hysteria, what to do if it has already broken out, and when is specialist help needed?

How to behave if your baby is hysterical

No matter how carefully the parents behave with the child, someday he will still have a tantrum. Not alone. And it is unlikely that it can be avoided. Children at this age are often prone to hysterics, attacks of aggression and anger.

Photo on Unsplash

Parents are very frightened by their child's behavior. Also, if crying continues for a very long time, the baby may vomit. It becomes difficult for mom and dad to watch such a picture with folded hands. But you should calm down - the child will not be able to cause much harm to himself. The body's protective reflexes will come to the rescue.

Symptoms

The most common symptoms of hysteria in children are loud crying and screaming, which is accompanied by tension in muscle tone throughout the body.

Then, impulsive and chaotic movements take place, palms clenched tightly into fists (knocking on walls, tables, floors).

If an adult tries to physically influence a child at this moment, he receives blows, bites, and scratches in response.

After this, sudden movements subside. The baby is crying. There are a lot of tears. The muscles relax. Signs of fatigue appear.

Manifestations of hysteria also include: teeth biting (for example, furniture upholstery), hitting the head against the wall and floor, falling and “stomping” feet. Severe tantrums can lead to convulsions and respiratory arrest.

After this, children often complain of headaches, pain from bruises, and nausea.

Diagnostics

Parents should understand that tantrums are just one of the signs of crisis stages in a child’s development.

Often, the parent independently (intuitively) selects the most harmonious way to help the child with hysterics.

When should you seek help from specialists:

• during or after a hysteria, the child stops or holds his breath for a long time,
• he loses consciousness, is subject to sudden mood swings,
• harms others and/or oneself,
• experiencing pain and nausea,
• experiences fears and nightmares.

In addition, if hysterics end with the child’s extreme fatigue or severe lethargy, then the parent should not ignore this and should consult with specialists (psychologists, neurologists, psychotherapists, etc.).

Help a child

First, you need to reconsider your daily routine and life in general. This is necessary in order to prevent nervous overload and overwork of the baby. After all, if the child is very tired, then hysterics will become more frequent.

You should follow some rules to help your baby:

1. There is no need to place too strict boundaries around the child. If you often do things contrary to the baby’s demands, this will aggravate the situation, and hysterics will only become more frequent.
2. You should not prescribe sedatives yourself based on reviews from the Internet or your friends. For this you should consult a doctor.
3. Keep your child safe during tantrums. Remove all piercing and cutting objects. Try to hold the child so that he does not injure himself.
4. You should not prove something and try to “bring yourself around” a child who is hysterical. Nothing will affect the baby until he calms down on his own. While the child is hysterical, you should not shout or hit him. The baby may become frightened by these actions and begin to scream even louder.
5. After the end of the children's screams, you should not be the first to start talking to the child. Most children think that mom or dad made a concession to him, and the tantrum will most likely begin with a vengeance. In this case, it is better to wait until the child comes to his senses and comes up on his own. Then you need to give your baby a large portion of love and affection. You also need to behave as if nothing happened.
6. You need to make it clear to the child that he will not achieve anything with his terrible behavior. Even when the baby calms down, you should not allow him what he wanted to achieve. Continue doing what you were doing when the child stops hysterical. And don’t remind your baby about it.

By adhering to all these rules, you will help your baby explore the world and show him the limits of permissiveness. Do not forget the main thing - any hysteria ends someday. And when this happens, the little monster who was rolling on the floor and screaming until her voice was hoarse will again turn out to be a small, tiny baby. And he, like no one else, will need a double portion of love and affection. And at these moments you should give it to him.

Age characteristics

At the age of 2 years, the child is actively developing rules and norms of behavior. Kids learn to assert themselves and try to be independent. It is at this age, subject to proper upbringing and the appropriate attitude of adults towards hysterics, that attacks quickly stop and subsequently do not return. However, there are rare exceptions, for example when the child is under severe stress. In adulthood, it is much more difficult to stop and prevent hysteria in a child.

2 years

If before this age a child could simply cry and be capricious, now he can demonstrate real hysterics to his parents, thereby perplexing and frightening adults. A two-year-old child already clearly understands the meaning of the words “no” and “impossible” and strives to protest against them in every possible way. However, due to a poorly developed speech apparatus, the child cannot use the persuasive power of words, so hysterical attacks at this age are a way to convey his desires to adults.

What parents of a two-year-old child who is hysterical should absolutely not do:

• Swearing and using physical force will provoke the development of complexes in the child and cause mental trauma.
• Instantly satisfying any desires and “wants” of the baby - this will subsequently make the child too spoiled and capricious.

The best thing parents of a 2-year-old child can do is to show their baby their care and love, hug and kiss, and then try to divert his attention to something else. By the way, at this age children still cannot control their attention, so helping the baby forget about the cause of his disorders and cheer up is easy and simple. If such techniques do not work, you should ignore them. Then it is important to make it clear to the child that this cannot be done again. Even if the attacks recur, the child will soon understand the futility of such behavior and the hysterics will stop.

If, as a result of the work done, the hysterics do not stop, parents should be wary. Perhaps frequent attacks are a consequence of psychosomatic problems. It is possible that the child feels discomfort or is simply overtired. In this case, it is advisable to reconsider your daily routine. It is also recommended to undergo a medical examination.

3 years

“The three-year crisis” is a concept that exists in psychology for a reason. At this age, there is a high risk of conflict between the interests of the child and parents. It seems to the little one that he is already old enough, so he can do everything himself. Regularly encountering multiple restrictions and parental supervision, the child begins to protest. Even the calmest and most obedient children at this age can, unexpectedly for their parents, begin to fall into hysterics.

Seizures of a 3-year-old child have their own characteristics:

• They happen unexpectedly due to any, even the most insignificant, reason. For example, when mom adjusted her scarf or hat.
• Hysterics can be numerous (up to 10 attacks per day).
• At this age, hysterical neurosis can be most pronounced, which is very frightening for adults.

The most effective way to get rid of tantrums in a 3-year-old child is to give him the opportunity to assert himself and be independent. Parents should give their child the right to choose. It is recommended to allow him to choose what he will wear and what he will eat. In this case, the baby will no longer need to assert himself, as he will feel like an adult, so the hysterics will stop.

4 years

In 4-year-old children, tantrums are conscious and more often have a specific purpose. Their main reason is improper upbringing. Children at this age are particularly smart and observant. They will quickly understand that they can get their way from a more gentle and accommodating family member. Did your mom not allow something? You can throw a tantrum at a grandmother who will do anything for her grandson so that he doesn’t roll on the floor or hit his head against the wall. In this case, all relatives are advised to clearly discuss what the child can and cannot allow, and follow the established rules.

If a 4-year-old child is flexible and accommodating, understands the words “no” and “no”, but still periodically throws tantrums to relatives, the reason may lie in the presence of psychosomatic problems. In this case, the intervention of a neurologist is necessary.

If a specialist during the examination was unable to identify psychosomatic disorders, the cause should be sought elsewhere. Thus, tantrums can be a consequence of unfavorable relationships with adults. Do not lose sight of the presence of family problems, such as regular quarrels, divorce of parents. If hysteria is the cause of psychological trauma, consultation with a neurologist is necessary.

5-6 years

5 years is the age of a child when another age crisis may occur. It can appear quite brightly. What characterizes the crisis:

• the child is withdrawn, often cries;
• prone to frequent mood changes;
• tries to copy his parents in everything;
• There may be cases of causeless attacks of anger and aggression.

All these factors are quite significant grounds for hysteria. Even a minor reason can trigger a seizure.

Experts believe that at this age, a child’s frequent tantrums are a consequence of a lack of care and parental love. It may be easier to get rid of tantrums than you think. It is enough to go somewhere with the whole family on weekends more often, have dinner together regularly, and spend time alone with the child more often.

Psychologists strongly recommend going to see a psychotherapist if a 5-6 year old child has tantrums quite often for no apparent reason.

7 years

Hysterical attacks at this age are a consequence of certain situations. The first is that the child categorically does not want to go to school. Many new responsibilities fall on him, demands appear from parents and teachers. The former force you to learn lessons, the latter force you to sit still for 40 minutes and absorb the material being studied. The appearance of new acquaintances can aggravate the situation. The main causes of hysterics at this age:

• stress and overwork;
• unfavorable classroom environment;
• copying peers;
• bad relationship with the teacher at school.

In this case, a conversation with the teacher, as well as a school psychologist, will help resolve the current situation.

The second reason is an unfavorable family environment. In this case, consultation with a family psychotherapist is advisable.

8-9 years

At this age, children already clearly understand what is possible and what is not. Parents should be wary of the appearance of seizures at such a late age. The reason may be conflicts with peers, some kind of injustice, exhaustion or a nervous breakdown.

Since children at this age should already be able to control their emotions well, experts call such attacks hysterical neurosis. This is a clinical diagnosis that should not be ignored. If a child has 2 or more tantrums in a short period of time, it is important to immediately make an appointment with a neurologist or psychotherapist.

Cases of hysterics in a child that require specialist consultation

If, even if the parents take the right actions in the event of a child’s hysteria, the attacks do not stop, the reason may lie in the presence of persistent disturbances in the functioning of the nervous system. Psychological trauma also leaves its mark on the child’s behavior. In this case, parents will not be able to cope with the problem alone; immediate intervention by specialized specialists is necessary.

When to contact a neurologist or psychotherapist:

• All measures taken by parents aimed at preventing and stopping hysteria turn out to be ineffective.
• The child cannot control the strong aggression that is directed at anyone who happens to be near him at the time of the attack.
• The tantrums become daily and last more than 20 minutes.
• Attacks occur even at night and can be accompanied by panic attacks and end in vomiting and loss of consciousness.
• As a result of the attack, the child causes serious injury to himself.

Hysterics that occur at night require urgent intervention from a specialized specialist. Parents should also be wary if, after an attack, the child demonstrates complete apathy for a long time, stops responding to anything, becomes lethargic, and the skin remains pale for a long time.

When to contact a child psychologist?

The child’s behavior itself is frightening and abnormal. But there is a certain line that distinguishes – when everything is fine, and when it is worth contacting a child psychologist. First of all, you need to pay attention to the hysterics themselves. If they drag on for a long time and become too frequent, then this will be the first call to contact a specialist.

Also, if parents are more inclined to believe that their child needs a child psychologist, then it would be better to make an appointment with a neurologist as well. He will conduct an examination and, if necessary, prescribe sedatives to the baby. At this age, natural herbal preparations are recommended for children.

Sometimes the cause of frequent children's tantrums is strained relationships between parents. Even if a child has never witnessed family squabbles, he still feels the negative relationship between mom and dad and reacts to them in his own way. It is worth trying to improve relationships with each other and put your thoughts in order. Then the baby will become much calmer.

Do not forget that during this period it is much more difficult for a child than for adults. There are so many new and interesting things around for him. He tests the limits of what is permitted and explores the world, simultaneously testing the strength of his parents’ nerves. Be that as it may, time passes quickly, and this difficult, but necessary for proper development, age will be left behind. And there will be new problems and worries ahead.

Causes of children's hysterics

As a child grows up, he develops desires and his own preferences, which often do not meet the requirements of adults. This leads to a clash of interests between the child and adults, which becomes the main cause of children's tantrums. When a child realizes that he cannot achieve his goal, he throws a tantrum to his parents in the hope that such behavior can influence the decision of adults. Typical situations that cause this condition can be provoked by both physiological and psychological factors. The latter, in turn, can be from the child’s side, as well as from the parents’ side.

On the child’s side, psychological factors include:

• The desire to attract the attention of adults, which the child often really lacks.
• Inability to speak at an early age, which causes the inability to express one’s dissatisfaction verbally.
• Presence of psychotrauma.
• Imitation of others.
• Hysteria as a way of expressing protest.
• The desire to achieve one's goal at any cost.
• Stubborn character.
• A type of nervous system characterized by imbalance.

On the part of the adults who surround the child, psychological factors include: improper upbringing, neglect of the child’s personal space, frequent punishments that are disproportionate to the child’s actions, overprotection.

Physiological factors include:

• Presence of diseases of the nervous system.
• Lack of proper sleep, improper daily routine.
• Hunger.
• Fatigue due to excessive mental and physical stress.

If parents are determined to wean their child from hysterics, they must first understand what reasons provoke such a condition. The easiest way to cope with ordinary whims. If the causes of hysterical neurosis lie in the incorrect upbringing of the child, then you first need to completely reconsider and, if necessary, radically change the education system.

The most difficult thing to get rid of is hysterics if their cause lies in health problems and psychosomatics. In the latter case, a consultation with a psychotherapist and a neurologist is necessary, who, if necessary, will prescribe an appropriate course of treatment.

Dietary supplements inexpensively

Raising children, by definition, is not an easy task. Parents understand this literally from the first days of their baby’s life. But when faced with a child’s hysteria for the first time, they may feel their complete “pedagogical” powerlessness.

And only a few know (or understand intuitively) that their behavior at such moments determines how the child’s personality will develop further. Will he adopt this “method” as an effective means of manipulation and achieve what he wants, or will he learn to conduct a meaningful and calm dialogue.

Free consultation right now!

Online consultation with a specialist on your issue!

License number: LO-77-01-019036

To avoid hysteria, warn in advance

There are many tears when a child is engrossed in a game, but adults need to interrupt this game for some reason. Either it’s time for dinner, or to go home, or to sleep. It can be difficult to stop the game instantly, and the “Warning” technique is suitable here.

It is better to warn the child in advance, give him time to finish, and help bring the plot of the game to its logical conclusion. In order for the pyramid to be assembled, the train had time to complete its route, all the fairies returned safely to their cribs, and the winner was determined in the robot duel.

After all, it can also be difficult for us, adults, to suddenly switch from one type of activity to another. It takes some time to pause the matter, bringing it to its logical point. Finish a chapter, finish a letter, finish watching a news story, finish cleaning. It is clear that if something emergency happens, we will drop everything and run. But it will be stressful.

For a child, a sudden switch to another activity is also stressful. He reacts to stress with tears. If nothing urgent has happened, I think it is possible to show respect for the child’s activities and help complete the task he is currently busy with.

This technique also works with older children. There was a period when I was very annoyed that I had to wait a long time for the children to come to the table, calling them several times. They usually came running after an ultimatum: “If you don’t come now, I won’t feed you!”

Once, while visiting my mother, I myself found myself in the role of such a child. Mom called me to the table, and it was very important for me to finish the chapter before the thought flew out. I was so carried away by the completion process that I only woke up to the question: “It’s almost cooled down. Should I warm it up? Or should I put it in the refrigerator already?” Since then, I began to agree with the children when (what time) we would have dinner, so that they would try to complete all their work by this time.