Greetings, friends!
It is difficult to find a person who is not familiar with the term “midlife crisis.” Some people think that this period of life will not come soon. Some people believe that this will not happen to them at all, while others believe that they are going through this crisis right now. At the same time, most people misunderstand the essence of this phenomenon, and today we will try to correct this. We will analyze in detail what a midlife crisis is in men, why it occurs, how long it lasts, by what symptoms it can be identified and how to overcome it. Let's begin.
What is a midlife crisis?
A midlife crisis is a long period of emotional instability, during which a person rethinks his life, critically reevaluates his views and principles, says goodbye to unfulfilled dreams and plans, usually occurring after 30 years. This is the time when a man suddenly realizes that youth is not eternal, health is not endless, and time is an invaluable resource that slips through his fingers.
A midlife crisis is common to everyone, but men and women experience it differently. It is believed that it is much more difficult for men to cope with it: they experience it more vividly, longer and more acutely. Therefore, today we are looking at the male midlife crisis.
To better understand what a midlife crisis is, remember the feeling that arises when you hear or read about a guy who is a couple of years younger than you, but has already created a successful social network or a popular cryptocurrency.
Perhaps you yourself are still young and do not know this feeling. Then just imagine what emotions the resounding success of yesterday’s schoolchild or student will evoke in you. You are older, more experienced and wiser, and just yesterday you could look down on him. But today he turned out to be more successful, and the thought “I’m doing something wrong...” creeps into my head. It is with thoughts like these that a midlife crisis begins for men. If earlier it seemed that there was still a sea of opportunities ahead, now “sobering up” comes.
The period when men experience a midlife crisis is usually between 35 and 45 years old. Recently, a shift to a lesser extent has been noticeable, and among modern young people the crisis begins already at the “psychological level, and then suddenly the fourth decade has begun”).
A man comes to the realization that the scenario according to which his life is developing does not suit him. He experiences an internal panic, provoking a burning desire to “replay everything.” The good news is that quite often this leads to positive change. MSC (hereinafter referred to as the midlife crisis) forces many people to give up bad habits, start playing sports and self-development.
In a word
Most likely, the couple has been married for a long time. The wife studied the second half in detail. There come moments when the husband reproaches himself for being useless and gives arguments of inadequacy. During this period, remind him of his achievements. Tell us how proud you are of him, give specific facts. Tell him how needed he is, how the children miss him when he is at work, how much you love him. For every attack regarding his worthlessness, have a phrase in stock to parry the negativity. A man should be confident that he is loved and welcome at home. That he is needed and important for the family.
Symptoms of a midlife crisis
A person facing a midlife crisis experiences a dramatic change in behavior. At the same time, his mood can also change quite quickly. One moment he was lamenting over missed chances, and now he is filled with determination to change literally everything in his life. According to his mood, he often acts impulsively.
Typically, the following symptoms indicate the presence of a midlife crisis in a man:
1. Dissatisfaction with one's own appearance. He peers into the mirror, counting the gray hairs on his temples, touching his receding hairline, and is upset by the new wrinkles. If before he didn’t think much about his appearance, now he pays more attention to his hair and shaves carefully to look a little younger.
2. Depressed mood. When communicating with him, you feel that in fact he would prefer to be alone with himself now.
3. Loss of strength, deterioration in health. Often, a midlife crisis first manifests itself with the appearance of the first symptoms of chronic diseases. Just yesterday, a man was sure that he was healthy, fit and strong, but today he is suddenly faced with pain in the joints or other previously unfamiliar sensations, reminding him of the inevitable approach of old age.
4. Drastically changing mood. The feeling of disappointment can be replaced by a burst of determination and energy, and the mood also changes radically.
5. Outbursts of aggression. People tend to blame others for their problems and take out their bad mood on them, and when a person experiences such strong disappointment, he begins to blame his loved ones for his own failures.
6. Concern about one’s own health , attractiveness, sexuality. Unlike women, men in their youth are usually not puzzled by these questions. But with the onset of a midlife crisis, they begin to pay more attention to this: they give up bad habits, sign up for a gym, and take care of their appearance and clothing style.
7. Closedness. Even sociable individuals, when SWS occurs, become withdrawn and show much less interest in gatherings with friends, parties and other group events.
8. Reflections on prospects. If earlier it seemed to the man that everything was still ahead, now he suddenly realized that he had reached the “equator”, and there was less and less time left to fulfill his plans.
9. The desire to have a mistress. It arises because during a midlife crisis, a man needs self-affirmation more than ever. In addition, he suddenly realizes that he “hasn’t had enough.”
10. Awareness and acceptance of age. The man realizes that he is now truly an adult and can no longer behave frivolously or recklessly. Now he must be a role model and give advice to the younger generation.
You were born in 1986 or 1987
1986 - February 20th. The first manned research orbital station, Mir-1, launched by the USSR, began operating. She operated until March 23, 2001, when she was disabled and sunk in the Pacific Ocean. 26 April. At the Chernobyl nuclear power plant, located near Kyiv, a power unit exploded. The Soviet authorities released a message about this only after Finland, Denmark and Sweden reported an increased background of radiation in their territories. About 600,000 people were involved in eliminating the consequences of the accident, many of whom died from radiation sickness and other diseases associated with the results of radiation.
1987 - May 29. A small plane piloted by Matthias Rust, a 19-year-old West German citizen, landed on Red Square in Moscow. The first experimental laser vision correction operation was performed. It was performed by Columbia University doctor Steven Trockel, who, in collaboration with other scientists, published several papers describing the benefits of an experimental laser for corneal tissue in surgery to correct myopia, hyperopia and astigmatism.
1988 - 8 August. A truce has been concluded between Iran and Iraq. Yasser Arafat, leader of the PLO, recognized the existence of the State of Israel.
1989 - January 11. The Declaration prohibiting the use of poisonous gases, chemical and bacteriological weapons was signed by representatives of 149 countries. March 27. A state of emergency has been declared in the United States after the Exxon Valdez tanker was damaged in Prince William Sound. As a result of this damage, approximately 64 million liters of oil leaked into the sea on March 24. November 9. The East German government announced the opening of the border with West Germany. On November 10, East Germany began demolishing the Berlin Wall.
1990 — August 6. The UN Security Council approved a resolution imposing a military and trade embargo against Iraq. A protracted oil and military conflict with Iraq began. November 22. The “Iron Lady” of world politics, Margaret Thatcher, Prime Minister of Great Britain, publicly announced her resignation. December. A referendum was held in Croatia regarding secession from Yugoslavia. The overwhelming majority of citizens voted to leave. The formal disintegration of Yugoslavia began.
1991 - The 25th of January. Iraq is dumping oil reserves into the Persian Gulf. This threatens an environmental disaster. October 1st. Leningrad was renamed and its historical name was returned - St. Petersburg. December 8th. Representatives of Russia, Belarus and Ukraine sign an agreement on the Creation of a Commonwealth of Independent States, to which 5 more countries of the former Soviet Union join on December 21. December 25th. USSR President Mikhail Gorbachev resigns. The USSR officially ceases to exist.
1992 - February 2. In many CIS countries, economic reform began, which consisted of price liberalization - the abolition of centralized price controls. January 12. Russia and Ukraine signed an agreement on the division of the Black Sea Fleet in Crimea. The beginning of the era of GSM communications. This year, Germany launched a GSM communication system, which was subsequently used as a prototype for many operators around the world.
1993 - 1st of January. The final division of Czechoslovakia into two countries takes place. The 4th of October. Government tanks are shooting at the White House in Moscow. As a result of the incident, 150 people die. The system of power in Russia has changed dramatically. This marked the beginning of the creation of a presidential-parliamentary republic. 12 December. Referendum on the adoption of the Constitution of the Russian Federation. 58.4% of citizens were in favor of adoption.
1994 - January 31. The first images from the Hubble Space Telescope, which photographs galaxies at an early stage of their development, were demonstrated. the 6th of May. The Channel Tunnel, connecting England and France, was opened. The total length of the tunnel is 50 kilometers, 38 kilometers are laid under the sea itself. December 11th. Fighting began in the Chechen Republic. The troops of the Russian Federation begin fighting. The fighting did not stop until an agreement was signed to end the war in Khasavyurt (until 08/30/1996). The first book on CD appeared in the USA. By the end of the year, most encyclopedias had been created or translated into this format.
1995 - 20th of March. Nerve gas was used in the Tokyo subway in Japan, killing 5,000 people and killing 12. On May 16, Soko Asahara, the leader of the religious sect Aum Shinrikyo, was arrested. The first artificial liver was tested, performed by German surgeon Peter Neu Haus.
1996 - 4th of July. B.N. Yeltsin becomes President of the Russian Federation for the second time. This is the first time the same person has been re-elected to the post of President of Russia. A test began to be used to detect AIDS. Proteins produced by the virus were detected in the blood, which made it possible to diagnose the disease at an early stage.
1997 - February 22. Scottish scientists announced the birth of the only surviving embryo, a clone of an adult sheep. Dolly was born on July 5, 1996 without any abnormalities and lived until February 14, 2003 as an ordinary sheep. 4th of July. A rover designed to collect and analyze Martian soils has landed on the surface of Mars.
1998 — August 17. In Russia, the ruble depreciated, which led to an aggravation of the economic crisis. The country's government resigned. September 24. The first transplant of a limb from a deceased patient to a living one took place. A hand and forearm were transplanted in the city of Lyon, France. 12 December. The first organ transplant to a child was performed in the United States. A three-year-old Florida boy received a heart, lung and liver transplant at a Pennsylvania hospital.
1999 - 1st of January. Most countries of the European Union have switched to paying in the new European currency – the euro. March 24. The first NATO air raid was carried out on Yugoslavia. The US invaded a sovereign state that was not threatened by a third party.
2000 - 26 March. Election of V.V. Putin to the post of President of the Russian Federation. The official inauguration took place on May 7. A robotic developmental doll has been created in the USA. She knew how to talk, laugh, cry, blink, make grimaces. In the process of communicating with people, she increased her vocabulary and reached the development level of a two-year-old child. The first medicinal products were created in Novosibirsk, the prefix “Bifido” was added to the usual name. They contain a liquid concentrate of bifidobacteria, which have a positive effect on the intestinal microflora, prevent the development of pathogenic microbes and nourish the body with B vitamins and vitamin K. Such products quickly gained popularity among buyers.
2001 - January 15. The official launch of the English site Wikipedia took place - a resource that today has become an assistant in quickly obtaining encyclopedic data in all areas of life. 11 September. The largest terrorist attack in world history was committed in the United States. As a result, the Pentagon was damaged, the Trade Center was destroyed, and human losses amounted to about three thousand people.
2002 - 1st of January. The European Union introduced euro coins and banknotes, which became the single currency for most EU countries and played an important role in stabilizing the global European economy. October. After 50 years, the restoration of the railway between North and South Korea began. October 23. In Moscow, Russia, Chechen terrorists took hostages in a theater on Dubrovka. Three days later, on October 26, all the terrorists were killed during the assault by special forces. One of the hostages died from a bullet wound, the remaining 116 people died from exposure to the gas used during the assault.
2003 - 20th of March. Military operations began in Iraq. September 27. The automatic station “Smart-1” was launched to study the Moon.
2004 — Bloodless revolutions took place in Georgia, Ukraine, and Kyrgyzstan, as a result of which more democratic leaders came to power. 1st of May. The European Union has expanded its scope with the inclusion of ten new countries. June. The world's largest social network - Facebook - has been created.
2005 - 5 January. Eris, the largest of the dwarf planets in our solar system, has been discovered.
2006 - March 29. The first total eclipse of the sun in the 21st century could be observed in Russia. 24 August. Scientists have stripped Pluto of its planetary status. This decision was made at the congress of the International Astronomy Union in Prague, Czech Republic.
2007 — Genetics have discovered modifications in the human body that are responsible for the development of certain diseases. After DNA analysis, it became possible to identify a predisposition to certain diseases.
2008 - February 17. Kosovo declared independence from Serbia. 8 August. Military operations began in South Ossetia. November 4. Presidential elections took place in the United States. The first black president in the history of the state, Barack Obama, became the head of the state.
2009 — August 17. A disaster occurred at the Sayano-Shushenskaya hydroelectric power station. Hundreds of people became victims. The cause of the problems was a series of shortcomings and a failure in the redistribution of electricity in the power system.
2010 - 18th of March. Russian mathematician Grigory Perelman proved the Poincaré conjecture, which was considered one of the unsolvable Problems of the Millennium. For this, the Clay Mathematical Institute awarded him a prize of $1 million, which he refused. April 10th. A plane crash occurred over Smolensk, in which Lech Kaczynski, the President of Poland, his wife Maria Kaczynskaya, the high military command, Polish politicians, as well as religious and public figures (97 people in total) died. The first living cell was created in which its own DNA was replaced with DNA created artificially. Humanity has received new tools for developing technologies for artificially growing organs.
2011 - 11th of March. In Japan, off the northeastern coast, an earthquake occurred, the magnitude of which reached 8.9. As a result of the earthquake, a devastating tsunami arose, as a result of which over 15 thousand people died, several thousand are considered missing. May 2. Osama bin Laden, the “No. 1” terrorist in the world, the leader of Al-Qaeda, who, in particular, is considered responsible for the September 11 terrorist attack, was killed. September 7. An international charter flight crashed near Yaroslavl. On board the plane was the team of the Lokomotiv hockey club, which was flying to Minsk. 44 people died, one survived. October 31. The seven billionth inhabitant of the Earth was born in Kaliningrad.
2012 - February 21. In Moscow, in the Cathedral of Christ the Savior, a scandalous punk prayer service of the PussyRiot group took place, three members of which were detained by the police. December 1. Russia has led the G20 (G20), a forum of representatives of countries with the most developed economies: Australia, Japan, Argentina, South Africa, Brazil, South Korea, Great Britain, France, Germany, Turkey, India, USA, Indonesia, Saudi Arabia, Italy, Mexico, Canada, China.
2013 - February, 15. A meteorite fell in the Urals - the largest celestial body that collided with the surface of the Earth after the Tunguska meteorite. Because of the “Chelyabinsk” meteorite (it exploded in the vicinity of Chelyabinsk), 1,613 people were injured. February, 15. Asteroid 2012 DA14 flew by at the minimum distance from planet Earth (27,000 km). This was the closest distance in the entire history of astronomy. March 13. The most powerful telescope on the planet begins operating in the Atacama Desert, Chile.
2014 — February 7-23. The XXII Winter Olympic Games took place in Sochi. 18th of March. Putin V.V. signed an agreement on the admission of the Crimean Peninsula and Sevastopol to Russia. This agreement comes into force from the moment of ratification by the Federal Assembly - March 21. October 26. Permanent winter time introduced
2015 - Jan. 7. A terrorist attack took place at the office of the satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo in Paris, based on a caricature of the Prophet Mohammed previously posted in the magazine. 12 people were killed and 11 people were injured.
Causes of midlife crisis
All people come to this state in different ways, because each of us has our own unique life experiences and our own set of unfulfilled plans and desires. However, there are several main reasons that are almost always present. If we talk specifically about the male midlife crisis, the most common reasons are:
- Old plans and goals lose relevance, and new ones are absent.
- Interest in work disappears, the person begins to doubt that he is doing his job.
- The man becomes disillusioned with family life (the children study poorly and grow up disobedient; quarrels regularly occur with his wife). As a result, he begins to doubt that he made the right choice many years ago.
- The realization comes that many dreams will remain unfulfilled.
- For the first time in his life, a man is faced with a real deterioration in his health, including in the sexual sphere, and realizes that youth is passing.
- There comes an awareness and feeling that the period of greatest opportunities (career, physical, sports, sexual, emotional and others) is left behind.
How to overcome a midlife crisis for a man?
If you want to try to overcome the crisis on your own, then first remember or start applying a few tips now:
Embrace your life
Remember that worrying about lost time is a new senseless waste of time. View previous years not as a disappointment, but as a source of experience - an important clue about what needs to be changed and corrected.
Consider your values
Values change periodically - this is natural for every man. Think carefully about everything that matters to you. You may have to give up something that has lost relevance.
Start taking care of your health
Sports, walks, meditation, healthy eating - there are many ways to significantly improve your well-being. By reconsidering your habits and starting to pay attention to your health, within a few months you may find that you feel even better than you did 10 years ago.
Take control of your life
The advice may sound pretentious, but the feeling of complete control over life is one of the best remedies against a midlife crisis. First, achieve balance in all areas. Make sure you dedicate enough time during the week to work, family, hobbies, entertainment and socializing with friends.
Set yourself new goals
Surely some old plans and goals have lost relevance. Therefore, it is necessary to come up with a replacement for them. Don't worry about missed opportunities and unfulfilled dreams. Set new goals and objectives for yourself, but now use your life experiences to make these goals achievable (
What should guys do after 35?
Psychologists advise you to relax and really stop looking for a mate. On the contrary, you need to develop your hobbies, fill your life with joyful events, and “breathe deeply.” In parallel with this, it is worth working through what you are not happy with in yourself. For example, don’t like your appearance? You can sign up for training with a stylist. Problems with self-esteem and negative experiences from previous relationships? Psychologists and psychotherapists will always help with this.
Thus, it is enough for a man to live in happiness and harmony with himself, and love will meet itself and completely unexpectedly.
