Online dating is the most popular type of dating in the modern world. Someone is looking for love, someone is lonely and looking for friends, someone is looking for an interlocutor or communication without obligations, and so on. The ultimate goal is different for everyone, but everyone is guided by one single need - the search for attention and getting rid of loneliness. Entire life stories take place on the World Wide Web; today, people spend most of their lives here.
On the Internet, people meet, communicate, quarrel, make peace, show their lives, find hobbies, work and much, much more. Virtual life is gradually replacing the real one, and therefore, if we talk about such an important stage of social life as searching for new acquaintances, you should be guided by some rules that will help turn online dating into a pleasant pastime.
Below are 20 rules of online dating that a user of social networks must follow.
Check out online dating services
Before you start, you should familiarize yourself with online services where online dating is possible. These can be either specialized platforms or regular social networks. The convenience of dating on the Internet is that a special profile is drawn up and photographs are attached, which helps to assess in advance the similarity of interests and attractiveness of a new person.
Both on special sites and on general social networks, people are focused on communication, so making a new acquaintance here will not be difficult. And how acquaintance occurs on VKontakte, read carefully further on the link.
What mistakes should you not make when dating online?
1. Don't like yourself. This is narcissism and looks very funny from the outside.
2. Don’t write anything on the wall of the girl you like. It's like marking a territory that no one has invited you to yet.
3. Do not write impersonal messages, such as “how are you?”, “What are you doing?” and others.
4. Don't ask someone to send you a photo. Everything she would like to show you, she posted for free access.
Be well mannered2
Do not forget about standard rules of decency. They must be observed not only in personal communication, but also on the Internet. This is not only about insults and deliberate humiliation of any person; this, naturally, is not allowed if your goal is to make adequate acquaintances.
We are also talking about the rules of greeting and address. When making first contact, it is better to address yourself as “you,” even if the new interlocutor is your same age. Remember that it is not immediately acceptable for every person to switch to “you” and communicate like people you have known for a long time.
Rule 9: Look for your zest
Honing your flirting skills takes time and observation. Notice how men react to certain photographs, jokes, and communication styles of yours. For example, they put a new photo on the site - pay attention to what type of men it attracted. Notice which role works best for you and interests the right men: the role of a fatal beauty or a house cat? Experiment with different interlocutors and note what appeals to them the most. Be different, look for many hypostases in yourself and show them. Men love it when a woman is different. They need drive. When everything is predictable and stable, it’s like a stagnant swamp that quickly gets boring.
Don't forget about literacy3
Literacy has never bothered or harmed anyone. To avoid seeming like an uneducated clown, check your speech patterns, punctuation and spelling. It’s better to write in simpler terms than in complex circulatory sentences with a lot of errors.
Literacy is the quality of a person who respects both himself and his interlocutor. Today, it is very fashionable to write correctly on the Internet; there are even special Internet castes who want to “beat with a dictionary” someone who makes unforgivable mistakes when writing. Therefore, if you do not want to become a victim of ridicule, arm yourself with a dictionary.
Prepare your social network page4
Before going on the offensive, you should pay attention to your appearance, but in the case of the Internet, not to your appearance, but to the design of your page on a social network. First, take at least one high-quality photo in which you look good, fill out your application form.
To help the other person get to know you better, add some music or other recordings to the page to reflect your interests. The clearer and more original your online profile is, the greater your chances of attracting the attention of the opposite sex.
How to meet a girl on VKontakte
This site is known to you firsthand and you have probably already received many refusals. I want to warn you that this will continue. According to statistics, even with the most correct approach, girls on VK do not respond to messages in 45-50% of cases. Such a harsh truth. But if you do it wrong, you may lose even those 50% of girls who respond.
How to learn
To understand how to properly meet people on the Internet, you need to develop an approach. So, in order:
- You weed out the girls you will train on. Choose absolutely any city and put the same one on your page. You need to gain experience before writing to a girl you really like, and those with whom you will communicate will even help with advice!
- Next, you choose 10 normal, not “fashionable”, not “scary”, but simple pretty girls “online”, perhaps with cockroaches - good for training.
- You write everyone the same message with an individual character for each of the applicants. Recommendations for writing your first message below↓
- Let's call it exercise. You need to repeat it until 8 out of 10 girls continue the dialogue with you. Once a week is enough.
Thanks to such training, your page will be filled with interesting girls from whom you can ask for advice, and you will gain confidence in your abilities and can easily develop a dialogue.
Your task:
- practice a certain model of communication that is inherent to you on the Internet;
- learn to determine which message suits a certain type of girl;
- be able to develop a dialogue until its final completion or its goal;
It is important to have a goal for communicating with a girl, that is, set a goal to get a number and achieve it in various ways, otherwise you will waste your time.
Don't be corny6
You should not write “hackneyed” phrases. It is necessary to structure the dialogue in such a way that the interlocutor is interested in writing a response message. It is necessary to come up with such verbal turns that will develop the dialogue, and not suppress it.
With compliments, too, you should be more careful, you shouldn’t abuse them, but you shouldn’t ignore this point either. You don't need to be too sweet in your messages, but you shouldn't be too cocky either. The result is the same: when building a dialogue, there must be harmony and balance.
The latest short compliments to a girl are already waiting for you in our article.
Be careful with fake pages7
Learn to identify “spoof pages,” as many people like to embellish themselves, and sometimes even pretend to be someone they are not. If a person has too few photos on the page, but the ones that are the most ideal or all the photos are posted from the same number, then you should think about whether this is a real person or not.
In order to check whether the photos appear somewhere else, you can check the image using a search query in some browsers.
How to create a profile correctly
Do not fill out your profile and especially the “about yourself” column if you are in a bad mood or tired after a long day of work. Wait until you get inspired. Before you fill out the survey, ask yourself a few questions and write down the answers. What do I consider the most important strengths in myself? How do I see an ideal relationship? What kind of partner am I looking for, what shortcomings am I willing to put up with? How do I see my future? What makes me feel better?
Men adore women with a sense of humor. Remember, you are not writing a resume, dry and serious. Your goal is to intrigue and entice a man to follow you. To do this, it is not necessary to indicate what education and where you received. But to tell you that you adore perfume and think that a drop of your favorite scent is the best outfit in which to meet your beloved man after work, as Marilyn Monroe said, is quite worth it.
Decide on goals and desires8
Decide in advance for yourself what exactly you want to get from dating on the Internet. Depending on your goal, you can decide on a circle of people who would help you fulfill your desire.
Many dating platforms and social networks contain special search selections that will help you find a person depending on your request, for example, select by city, age, interests, education, and so on. This makes it much easier to find the person you need.
Where we meet: the main platforms for finding a girl
Usually, meeting a girl online is preceded by a long search for a suitable platform. And this is not surprising. On the Internet and applications you can find thousands (if not millions) of dating sites (Badoo, Mamba, Tinder), social networks (Instagram, Facebook, Vkontakte), messengers (Telegram, WhatsApp). But you shouldn’t register on all platforms and try to meet all the girls. Give preference to sites that:
- popular among users (you can check this by the number of stars, visit statistics, ratings of independent sites);
- focused on the region you need (if you are interested in a serious relationship, then choosing sites that publish profiles of girls from the other side of the world is simply pointless).
To find the right online dating site, you will have to try several sites at once. And when suitable pages or social networks have been identified, you can proceed to the main step - finding a girl.
Be yourself9
You should not pretend to be someone else; for example, you should not upload beautiful photographs of other Internet users. Do not exaggerate your abilities in the application form, do not create a false impression of yourself.
Because sooner or later, if communication becomes more serious, you will have to reveal all your cards and the reaction of your new acquaintance may be very ambiguous. Be yourself, but try to show your best qualities that will show you at your best.
Rule 6: Demonstrate your value
Remember, we are treated the way we treat ourselves. If you're over 30 (40, 50, etc.) and you think that online dating is your last chance to jump on the marriage train, men will treat you accordingly. That is, without respect and initiative on their part. The maximum that shines for you with such an attitude towards yourself is the role of a mistress. Do you need this? Learn to value yourself and show it to men. How? Make it clear that you are a busy, modern woman with many plans for the future. Schedule a conversation at certain times and days, because at other times you are at a dance, at the gym, etc. End the correspondence because “you got a call from work.”
Remember a very important rule - always end the dialogue first! And try to follow the Scheherazade principle - stop the conversation at the most interesting point. Leave the intrigue. May your man always be interested in you. Make him think about you with the help of understatement, “unfinished gestalt.” It works!
But there is a very important “but”. You should only do these things with those men with whom you already have minimal mutual interest. You only need to push away a little if you are already close enough. At the very beginning of dating, you need to use these tricks very subtly so as not to harm the relationship.
Analyze the potential partner's page10
Before you start communicating, do not forget to take advantage of the wonderful and unique opportunity to analyze the page of a potential partner. This way you can identify the interests and hobbies of your future acquaintance. This will help you choose topics for conversation and interest the person. The more interesting and close to the interlocutor the topics for conversation are selected, the faster and more successful the communication will be.
Don’t demand too much from your interlocutor12
Don't put pressure on your new interlocutor. If it is clear from communication that a person is not inclined to communicate, then it is better not to impose yourself and not to force the other person to do something that he does not want. If a person does not want to give his phone number, then there is no need to ask.
If a person does not want a personal meeting, then there is no need to pursue and insist on meeting in person. In online dating there should be ease and spontaneity for both participants in the conversation.
Let's meet on a dating site
How to meet a girl on the Internet? Of course, on a dating site - they are all open to communication and dating, they don’t have boyfriends and they are just waiting for their prince. But on the other hand, there are thousands of active users on popular sites and they are not sitting idle.
Your task is to stand out from the twenty men who wrote to your beauty at the same time as you. What do I need to do:
- Never write to a girl what you could write to everyone else. That is, “you’re beautiful, let’s get to know each other” won’t work. And most likely, 15 of those 20 people will write to her exactly like that. Look at her profile and write something unique to her.
- If the site is designed in such a way that messages are conveyed with a subject, always make it beautiful.
- If possible, write to girls who are “online” - this way you will immediately see the result if she does not want to continue communication.
Girl: “Marina, brunette, 17 years old, student at a pedagogical school”
Letter:
Topic: “To the most charming girl of the pedagogical school”
Contents: “Hello, Marina. It was not for nothing that I risked calling you the most beautiful girl in the school, because with eyes as deep as yours, it simply cannot be otherwise. I'm guessing this isn't the first time you've heard about this, which makes me sound a little corny.
Then I would like to tell you about myself: my name is Oleg, I do programming, and in my free time I prefer active recreation. I will soon turn 22 years old and for my birthday I would like to meet a wonderful girl with whom I can go on an interesting journey.”
- The second rule follows from the written letter: a message on a dating site should not be too short. You have to make a girl read it and think about you. A simple 25th “Hello” risks even going unnoticed. But a long, interesting letter is sure to stand out from the background of banal one-word messages.
- Romance and mystery won't hurt you. For example, in communication, do not be shy about doing strange things: write that you are inviting her to a slow dance. In your next message you can write her the name of a beautiful slow song that she should listen to.
Experiment + example
For the sake of the experiment, 10 girls were chosen, the introduction was the same, and the answers were not particularly different. The goal is to get a phone number.
Me: Hello, are you looking for love?) She: Maybe / I’m just chatting / Of course / No Me: It’s unlikely that you can find anyone on this site, they only offer all sorts of nonsense... She: Exactly / Yes, yes / Bla-Blah-Blah Me: I hope you’re a good girl, you don’t write anything bad?)) She: No / No, I’m good / I don’t write... Me: Honestly, I haven’t visited such sites before, apparently I won’t go again, after what they write here. Let's talk on the phone for 2 minutes. Write the number)
Result:
- 2 wrote their number after the last message;
- 4 wrote the number after several messages, basically I complimented and said that I was in a hurry;
- 3 continued the conversation, later giving a number (banal conversation about interests + intrigue);
- 1 refused to give her phone number and the conversation was not continued
The dialogue is a little truncated, but the essence of the correspondence is clear, I will reveal the psychology of such an acquaintance in the following articles, if you are interested, write in the comments.
Don't be too intrusive13
If you don't get an answer the first, second or third time, don't force yourself on the person. Not everyone is in the mood to communicate via the Internet, and a person may simply not be in the right mood for meeting new people. Respect other people's needs and do not violate another person's comfort zone; you should not write to a person 24/7 if you do not receive feedback from him. Communication should be mutual, do not impose yourself, no need to spoil the impression of yourself.
Likes
If you are a pragmatic and cunning guy, then you probably already know that there are offlikers who like everyone. The Tinder developers also know about this, accordingly, there is an algorithm that calculates how quickly you like others and if you like everyone and don’t dislike, then your profile is perceived as a robot, your rating decreases and they start showing you crocodiles. You start liking crocodiles and, voila, you're back where you started.
Pay attention to the interests of your interlocutor14
If your interlocutor is interested in music, for example, then be sure to be interested in this. Find out more about his favorite musical groups, find out if concerts are planned in your city, and so on. Show your interlocutor that you are interested in everything he tells you, or rather writes.
Share interests, ask about them enthusiastically, and then communication will be easier. But if suddenly the interests of your interlocutor are not close to you, then under no circumstances should you insult his hobbies, as this can greatly offend the person.
How and what to talk about on the phone?
- In this format, communication becomes more personal. Therefore, it is appropriate to ask as many questions as possible. It is important to listen more than talk. Ask him questions about himself that do not require short “Yes”/“No” answers - so-called open questions. Ask him how was his day? What are your plans for tomorrow?
- Feel free to ask questions about the past, but do it correctly and without turning it into an interrogation. It is better to ask why he chose this profession for himself, and not about how many girls he had while studying at the university.
- If you are going to have a video conversation on Skype, the man should not get the impression that you somehow specially prepared for this. You should look well-groomed and neat, but not as if you are going to an expensive restaurant with him. That is, it is not necessary to wear an evening dress, nor do you need to do festive makeup.
Feel free to offer a personal meeting16
Communication on the Internet, of course, can go on forever, but then does such communication make sense? There is no need to rush, but if you are already confident in your interest, and most importantly, in the interest of your partner, then offer a personal meeting.
This will help online communication become something more, and maybe online dating will develop into something more. The main task is not to rush a personal meeting, but to schedule it in a timely manner, when both partners are ready.
Rules of communication
As in any communication, communication involves at least 2 people, so all the information about you will be conveyed by what you write about. If you are rude, no one will communicate with you. If you constantly write permission words like “maybe,” you will be perceived as a person who lacks self-confidence. Follow this rule: You ask an open-ended question, get an answer and comment on the answer, and ask the question again. And so on in a circle.
The main thing is that communication is not an interrogation like:
- -Hi, how are you?
- -Fine
- -Where are you studying?
- -At University
- -Where do you live?
- -In Moscow.
Question, answer, comment
- - Hello, I saw you here, I decided to write, how are you in the mood?
- -Good))
- - Cool, I have a good one too, today I went to get my cat cut, he looked like a lion. DO YOU love cats?
- -Yes, I really have a hamster at home.
- -You and I are exactly the same, I also have a 25 centimeter hamster
- -I gave this example in a joking manner, but I hope the example is clear that there is no point in asking a girl stupid questions. In fact, it's even better to try talking to a girl without asking questions at all. It's easy.
Cool audio book by David X “Be Tough” I recommend listening to it.
If you can’t listen, write to me, I’ll send you a printed version
Praise and give compliments18
Every person, both man and woman, will be pleased to receive compliments. The main thing is not to overdo it, so as not to seem like a flatterer or an intrusive person. Compliments must be appropriate and adequate.
It is better for girls to talk about their talents and abilities, but they should not often talk about their beauty, since for a girl, frequently receiving compliments about beauty or sexuality is a kind of call for intimacy. Men, too, should be given compliments, despite the fact that they are the stronger half of humanity. Compliment his interests and abilities.
Find out how to correctly compliment a girl about her beauty in our article, follow the link.
Rule 3: Two steps forward, one step back" in correspondence
Men are hunters by nature. Therefore, a woman should always have some kind of mystery, unpredictability, so that they would be interested in you. Play catch-up with men. But he should catch up with you, and not the other way around. Show interest, respect, admiration, and then slow down and take a few steps back. Answer shorter than he does, write less often than he writes. But it is important to do this in such a way that the man does not take the cooling clearly personally. Then refer, for example, to poor health or problems at work. But most importantly, don’t overdo it! The hunter should feel as if his prey has slipped out of his hands and is teasing him again, rather than completely running away into the forest.
Don't rush the process19
Under no circumstances should you rush your new acquaintance into any further actions, for example, closer communication. Don’t rush the person to urgently meet or call. It should be understood that everyone has their own boundaries of what is permitted and excessive intrusiveness can lead to a person simply turning away from you, considering him too persistent.
Let communication take its course, the Internet is not a place where you need to rush. When in a hurry, it is better to choose more effective methods, for example, dating in bars and clubs.
Rule 4: Switch to phone
With the men you like, switch to telephone communication or at least Skype as soon as possible. Exchange phone numbers. Remember: you can't waste precious time. Telephone communication will help you quickly understand whether you are really interested in each other, whether he turns you on as a man (timbre, intonation of voice are very important in this matter). In addition, this way you will quickly weed out those “macho men” who initially did not have serious intentions, but were exclusively inclined towards sentimental correspondence novels. For example, they are married and want new experiences.
