List of topics to talk about with a guy on the Internet. What questions can you ask and what questions should you avoid?

We communicate on social networks more and more. This is great! We have enormous opportunities thanks to the Internet. It no longer surprises anyone that most couples are now formed through online correspondence. 8 out of 10 women who got married in recent years said that they met on the Internet. On social networks we can find men we would never meet in real life. By correspondence it is easy to make several acquaintances at once, and then weed out those who are not suitable for you personally. By meeting people online, you don’t have to waste time on boring dates with uninteresting people.

By asking the right questions to a guy or a man, you can not only interest him, but also understand whether you are comfortable with him, whether love is possible between you, whether he is ready for a serious relationship or not, whether he is a decent person and much more. Therefore, most girls and women ask the question: what can you ask a guy or man in a correspondence to maintain interest and get to know him as best as possible? We will talk about this in detail in our article and give you step-by-step recommendations for easy and confident communication.

Where should you start?

First, you need to understand whether the young man is in the mood for communication, whether he is currently busy with important matters. Test the waters with general questions:

"Hello! How are you?"
“How did you get to work today?”
“How was training yesterday?”
“I really want to cheer you up. How can I do that?"
“What good happened to you today?”
“Have you already had lunch? What delicious food did they serve in the cafeteria today?”
“Do you know what happened to...?”

If you don’t receive a response for a long time, don’t panic!
A person may simply be busy with business. As soon as he is free, he will answer immediately. How to get the attention of the guy you like

You are interested in a man: how to start a conversation on VK with a guy?

You can do it with confidence! For starters, it’s quite appropriate:

Comment on a post or photo on the wall + ask a question.
See what events he is subscribed to, ask about them.
Find “points of contact” (mutual friends, school, area, car brand, etc.) and about them.
See what videos he has saved, what playlists he has created. Ask a Question. For example: “Hello! I'm Olga. I saw you have a big Grishkovets playlist. Have you ever come across his recording with “Curler”? It seems to be called “You Are Here”. I just can’t find it.”

Never (!!!) make excuses for your address to a stranger or guy like “Sorry for writing...”, “I just wanted...”, “Can I ask?”

Social networks were actually invented for communication. By making your page and posts public, a person is ready to contact new people. If he doesn’t like something, he simply won’t answer, and you will go your separate ways in the sea of the Internet, without wasting time on each other.

If the guy answered your request, then express a positive emotion and make the following “bridge”:

Hello. Yes, Grishkovets has this. It just seems like “I’m here” or “Who’s here.”
Oh great, exactly, I found it! I like him. I'm looking for what else I can listen to from him.

Although there are many options, it is better to stick to topics that you are knowledgeable about. Don't take credit for knowing something you don't know anything about. As communication develops, sooner or later you will reveal your ignorance. If you don’t have anything in common yet, but would like to get to know each other, refer to a friend, relative, etc. In the example above: “I want to please my sister, collect her a large playlist of Grishkovets’ recordings” (and then everything is the same, but about “sister”).

Sincere interest is always attractive! The best thing you can talk about with a guy or a man by correspondence at the very beginning is something that is at least a little interesting to you.

But when you are already in a long-term correspondence, you need to smoothly move on to what he is interested in in life.

Simple questions

Ask simple questions that don't require much thought to start an easy conversation. With the help of such questions, a trusting environment will be created.

Did you have a good day?
What mood are you in?
What are you doing?
Do you have lunch in the cafeteria or do you bring food with you?
How long did it take you to get through traffic jams yesterday?
It’s so cold at work, but have you turned on the heating?
Have you already been on vacation?
Will you go to training today?

Men's opinions

“I spend a lot of time at work, there is almost no time left for any hobbies or hobbies. Because of this, it is difficult for me to communicate with girls. For the most part, they like to talk only about themselves.”

Ilya, 25 years old

“I take correspondence with girls simply. If thoughts or feelings arise that we have nothing to talk about, then this is simply not my option.”

Fedor, 19 years old

“Sometimes you come across girls who are taciturn, their thoughts are busy with school, work, and other problems. Often I manage to get them to talk.”

Demyan, 22 years old

“If I feel a response from a girl, then I can chat with her for hours, joke and make fun of her. When I see that she is not interested in my company, I stop correspondence.”

Victor, 30 years old

Questions to get to know him better

If you have aroused the interest of a young man, it will be quite easy to get to know him; you can ask questions on any topic. But it’s better to take an interest in his childhood, his favorite activities at a very young age.

Ask about this in a relaxed atmosphere; if he is relaxed, he will be able to open up to you completely. The friendly atmosphere is conducive to a frank conversation, you will feel that he sympathizes with you.

What hobbies did you have as a child?
Do you remember your first friend? What kind of relationship did you have?
Did you fall in love in kindergarten?
Which animals do you like?
What attracts you? Hunting, fishing, sports?
How do you like to relax?
What action can cause you great irritation?
Have you been to summer camp? What is the most striking event, do you remember?
What's your favorite movie genre?
Do you like computer games? How do you feel about them?
What kind of cuisine do you like? Food preferences?

When you don’t know what to ask, think about what you’re most interested in learning about him at that moment.

An account on social networks is a complete “dossier” and a source of topics for conversation

Don’t know what to ask a guy or a man in a correspondence? Explore his pages on social networks! From them you can always understand what a person is interested in, how he relaxes, what he does. A convenient scheme: if you see a “hook” on his page, “like” or comment, and then continue the topic in correspondence.

Photo of a guy with a car - like + comment “Cool! Are you buying or looking at it?” – answer “No, with a friend for: “Nice car. Do you like these?”

Ask about what you see on his page and in his news:

I saw a photo at the stadium. Who are you rooting for?
Listen, this group is about an English language school... Did you study there?
Your post is interesting... It touched a nerve! Do you think that...
Do you have a bike? Where do you race?
Are you fishing with friends? Can you brag about your catch?
Do you play sports? What club do you go to?
You have so many films in English. Do you know the language well?
I saw your photos from Spain. Do you travel often?

About life and favorite activities

Such questions are suitable for dating and communicating with a guy on social networks, for example, on VK. Touching on topics about achievements, childhood memories, family, hobbies, pets, you can learn more about each other.

To decide on the topic that is most interesting for a young man, look at the section with personal data on his VKontakte page. All the necessary information can be indicated there.

Do you like long trips?
What are your musical preferences?
What books do you read?
What genres of films do you like?
Do you like football? What about hockey?
Have you ever gone swimming?
What are your favorite childhood games?
Favorite pets? Who would you like to have?
What do you like to do with your own hands?

How to hook a guy by correspondence - practical advice

In the previous article, I already wrote some rules that should be followed in correspondence with a guy. You can read the article here (opens in a new tab).

Now I will repeat the principles of effective correspondence with a guy from the previous article, and then I will expand this list and share additional tips.

Write messages shorter than his (or the same in length, but no longer);
Don't respond to messages right away (if the guy doesn't answer right away);
Talk more about him;
Be positive and never complain;

To improve your effectiveness and get your guy even more interested, I also recommend following these guidelines:

1) Fewer emoticons.

It’s better to remove emoticons so that the guy himself can figure out what subtext the message is written with, positive or negative, so more images will form in his head and more questions will arise.

2) Don't be more interested in him than he is in you.

Above you see my correspondence with a girl, initially we agreed to go out with her, but she read an article on my website and it scared her away. The girl was afraid that I would manipulate her, and perhaps it was just a test: how I would behave. But I'm not interested in people any more than they are in me and I won't make any extra effort.

Of course, I can put the pressure on and make a person change his mind, but in this situation it was necessary to act this way.

As a result, my messages sparked even more interest in her.

I recommend you do the same. If a guy communicates with you reluctantly and coldly, that’s his problem, not yours. Turn on the cold in response.

3) Create intrigue.

Having received a message from you, more and more questions should arise in his head.

Real life story: While chatting with a girl on a dating site, she started sending voice messages.

I decided to create intrigue and wrote: “Well, of course you have a voice” (without emoticons and commas, so that it would not be clear with what emotion I wrote this) In response, I immediately received a message: What happened to my voice?) Me: Unusual ( no emoticons) She: Is this good or bad? Me: Well, what do you think? She: Hmm, I don’t even know, didn’t you like my voice? I’m just sick right now) Me (after a pause for a while): Everything’s fine, he’s very feminine. She: And I already thought that you didn’t like my voice. She: Thank you, I’m very pleased)

I created intrigue, made her doubt and experience emotions. All this from just one voice message. Therefore, I advise you to create intrigue in correspondence with a guy, it works very well. He shouldn't have to guess what's on your mind and how you feel about him.

4) Have fun

Well, one last piece of advice: while texting, have fun and make yourself happy.

The correct purpose of correspondence is to amuse yourself, and the rest is secondary.

Don't be afraid to scare a guy off with unusual messages. Don’t attach great importance to your correspondence and then everything will work out for you. The more importance you give to a guy, the less chance of success. And vice versa, the less significance, the more relaxed you are and everything will start to work out.

Experiment more, always ask yourself: “What will he answer if I write to him like this?” and check it in practice.

Humor

To make the communication atmosphere relaxed and relieve tension, use humorous questions. Humor helps people not only relax, but also feel charming. Diversify the dialogue, win his sympathy.

What do you do with your alarm clock if it rings ahead of time?
What time of year can you compare yourself to?
Do you have a sock folding system?
Do you take out the trash in slippers or change your shoes?
Do you like walking on frozen puddles and listening to the ice crunch?
What are you talking about in the morning with the shaggy and unshaven guy in the mirror?
Do you think soup for breakfast is ok?
Do you like popping bubbles on film?
Have you tried singing while stuck in an elevator?

Humor will save you from any awkward situation

If you want to interest a man, show interest in him

There is no better topic for conversation in correspondence than talking about the guy/man himself. Firstly, such a topic will be easiest for him to support. Secondly, he is pleased that the girl is interested in him. Thirdly, from his answers you will learn not only useful information about him, but also be able to understand what kind of person he is and whether he is right for you.

To prevent this from looking like a “Gestapo interrogation,” use the “Message + Question” technique:

My brother called, he's in the army. Have you already served?
The session starts next week. Are you studying or working?
There is nowhere to park at all. Do you drive?
The break is over, it's time to go. Do you deal with this strictly at work?
I got wet all over. Is your commute close to work?
I lost my temper today because... Do you often lose your temper?
On Sunday I want to lie around for a bit in the morning. How do you usually spend your weekends?

Love and women

If you are wondering how a young man might behave towards you, find out about his previous experiences and beliefs towards girls.

Some tricky questions will help with this. Here are some examples:

What valuable qualities should a girl have?
What can be repulsive in a girl?
What should be the professional activity of your future wife?
Should a woman take care of the house or build a career?
Do you remember your first love?
Can a girl be the first to talk about her feelings?
Have you ever had unreciprocated feelings?
Do you consider yourself an amorous person?
Do you believe in love at first sight?
Do you consider yourself a romantic?
What is your attitude towards polygamy?
Could you fall in love with a girl through online correspondence?

Mutual friends are a great topic of conversation

The convenience of social networks is that we see a circle of mutual acquaintances and friends. Feel free to use this in correspondence!

Oleg is your friend. Somehow he disappeared completely. How long have you heard about him?
Do you remember Marina? She is the wife of your friend Pasha. I'm worried about them. Did you hear that they had an accident?
ABOUT! You have Yulka as a friend, and I went to school with her. Where did you meet her?
You studied law at the university, didn't you? Do you meet with your classmates?
Do you work at UEMZ? I have a friend there who is a secretary, Svetlana. Do you know each other?
You and I have the Petrovs as mutual friends. I heard they wanted to move?
My children at school 16 studied with Svetlana Igorevna. And your?

Mutual friends and acquaintances are a great topic that you can always talk about with a guy or a man by correspondence. Discuss your friends' news, show concern if they have any problems, say hello, ask for a mutual friend's phone number if you have lost it.

Provocation

It takes time to answer difficult, tricky questions. Don't rush, let the person think about it.

Do you use swear words in your speech? In what cases and why?
Can a woman and a man be friends?
What could be the reason for your fear?
Are you a gambling person?
What makes you cry?
Do you have a cherished dream?
The main value in life?
Do you want to live forever?
What will you never dare to do, even for a big reward?

What is the danger of obsession and how to avoid it?

Intrusive communication is annoying, repulsive, and sometimes frightening. In order not to seem annoying, a woman needs to remember only 1 rule: Don’t wait for answers right this second. Messages are sent to convey or receive information.

Silence is not always a sign of disinterest. A person cannot be online 24 hours a day. He is distracted by phone calls, takes a shower, goes to the store, and may even fall asleep while texting if he is very tired after work. It is important to understand this and not to overwhelm yourself with bad thoughts.

The main mistake that girls make is that they start sending SMS one after another, with approximately the following text: “Aw!”, “Why are you silent?”, “Well, shut up!”, “If you don’t want to communicate, just say so!”, “That’s it.” It’s clear with you!” and other similar messages.

To get rid of the desire to write this, you need to imagine that the guy suddenly rang the doorbell. A friend or neighbor came to him, and their conversation at the door took about 30 minutes. He was already worried because he knew that the girl was waiting for an answer, but it’s impolite to talk to a friend while looking at the phone, right?

And now he will come back, pick up the phone and see 100 messages with an angry message. How he will feel, how the woman will look in his eyes after this - most likely, stupid, annoying and tactless. The girl should just wait for an answer. If he doesn’t answer for a long time, then you should put the phone down and go about your business. He will answer when the opportunity arises.

Taboo topics

If you cannot answer such a question yourself, then you should not ask it to your interlocutor. Otherwise, you risk finding yourself in an awkward situation. In response, you can hear not only a point of view, but also a request to express your opinion.
Do not ask direct “exam” questions on knowledge of a particular discipline. They give the impression of verification. For example: Are you a chemist by training? Then name the 17th element of the periodic table. Are you studying French? Then tell me what Mylene Farmer sings about in this song.
Don't rush to bring up topics related to his previous relationships, reasons for separation, or future children.
You should not touch upon monetary topics: the amount in the account, property. You may seem selfish and tactless to him. Try to contain your curiosity at least at first. If you don't have enough patience, then test the waters with indirect questions: Can you live a year without work? Would you give your dad a car/travel for his birthday?
You can run into pitfalls in religious, social, and political directions. By exceeding the norms of correctness, you can accidentally cause an insult and disrupt the established intimacy. If a guy is passionate or fanatical about any of these issues, it will soon show in his phrases. It will be up to you to decide whether to accept his point of view.

Be careful what you say at the very beginning of communication.
How to behave on a first date

What to tell about yourself to interest your interlocutor

In an effort to please your interlocutor, do not forget about yourself: your communication should not be limited only to his person.

In order to present yourself favorably, you need to know a few rules:

When you first talk, don't say too much: your name and age will be enough for the first conversation. Moreover, do not immediately disclose your place of residence, do not lay out all your problems and do not complain about life.
Promote topics that interest you; the interlocutor should not feel like he’s under a microscope when communicating with you, so there should be an exchange of interests on both his and your part. Tell us about your hobbies, where you like to spend your free time, what your thoughts are occupied with in your free time.
Don't insist on your own if your interests diverge. You shouldn’t convince a guy that he must read all of Jane Austen’s novels; leave this topic and find a hobby in which your views converge.

When talking about yourself, keep it light and unobtrusive. Don't go into a cumbersome retelling of your entire life, from diapers to the present. Pay attention to your positive qualities, then your interlocutor will want to continue communication.

Recommendations for communicating on the Internet

Don’t demand an answer, it’s better to think about what you might be interested in.
Limit the number of questions, otherwise you may make the interlocutor feel like you are interrogating or testing.
After asking a question, wait for a detailed answer. Don’t rush, don’t interrupt, don’t answer your own question by sharing your experience.
Remember not only your questions (to avoid repetition), but also your answers. For example, you will find yourself in a not very pleasant situation if you suddenly start asking a vegetarian what kind of barbecue sauce he prefers. Memorize or keep notes on topics he avoids. This will help you not seem intrusive.
To make your purpose clearer, explain the reason for your question. Give a preliminary introduction to an exciting topic. For example, you want to find out if there are problems with alcohol in his family. Complain about noisy neighbors who constantly swear when drunk. After that, ask if he is familiar with such cases. Even if he gives an answer that is not entirely in the right direction, you will be able to understand how he feels about drunkenness or how he can resolve issues with brawlers.
Use diminutive suffixes more carefully. Not every man likes baby talk. And girls who communicate in this manner are considered childish. Often statements are distorted and take on a different meaning due to the presence of a diminutive suffix in them. For example, a question about “business” sounds interested, but about “business” - with disdain.
Show sincerity. Boredom cannot be hidden even behind hundreds of questions. Genuine interest will be highly appreciated by a man. An attentive and active listener has every chance of continuing communication.

Conversation in pictures: you don’t have to just write

Social networks and instant messengers are good because you can maintain communication there not only by correspondence. Share pictures and funny posts, music, videos, send emoticons! All this can and should be sent to a guy or man.

You solve three problems at once:

remind yourself gracefully (if he doesn’t want to communicate, he won’t answer, you’re not offended, you “just” threw a funny photo!);
evoke an emotion that can greatly bring you closer together;
suggest a topic for conversation. Sometimes one such message can start a very long correspondence.

What questions can you ask a man by correspondence, sending him something interesting:

Basta's new video is cool. How do you feel about rap?
(Funny picture) I laughed! Great, right?
(Cup of coffee emoji in the middle of the day) Is it time to take a break?
I watched a new film yesterday. You've seen?
I love this group. Their concert is coming soon.
I read the book. It’s interesting, but it seems that I didn’t understand everything about it. Have you read?
(funny song or gif) Already awake? Have a great mood today!

Of course, you shouldn’t get carried away with “girly” pictures: not every man will be happy to receive cute cats or a review of skirt styles this season.

If you are still very young and find it difficult to understand what you can ask a boy in correspondence, then pictures and videos are a very convenient way to maintain communication. A couple of words are enough: “I liked it!”, “Funny, isn’t it?”, “Look what you saw!” and emoticons.

How else can you keep the conversation going?

To prolong communication, girls should know what to talk about with a guy so as not to scare him off. There are useful tips from psychologists that you should follow when corresponding with a man:

Humor in correspondence.
Positive emotional background.
No negativity.
Free communication on various topics.
Openness, sincerity.

On social media Communication on networks should also be based on sincere conversations. Psychologists recommend finding an approach to each interlocutor, because all men are individual. Focus on his preferences, wishes, interests. Create a favorable atmosphere during correspondence to please your interlocutor.

Basic recommendations

To prevent the young man you like from becoming self-absorbed when communicating, you need to:

Be proactive.
Listen.
Ask the right questions.
Show interest in the conversation.
Choose 1 topic for conversation.

By adhering to these simple rules, a girl of any age can win the attention of a man.

Common Mistakes

Through correspondence on VK, you can either make a guy like you or make a lot of mistakes that will only ruin the relationship. Let's look at the main mistakes that should be avoided when dating virtually:

criticism of the interlocutor;
condemnation;
disputes;
imposition of personal opinion;
jealousy;
reproaches.

This should be excluded from the very beginning of communication. The man will feel that the woman is overly demanding of him. This will lead to the fact that he will not only not want to make an actual meeting, but also to continue the virtual conversation. Intrusiveness is also a mistake: for many guys it serves as a repulsive factor.

Due to the inability to find the right topics when corresponding, girls lose their interlocutors a few days after they meet. If you want to avoid such incidents, dream of virtual communication that will lead to a long-awaited meeting, avoid mistakes. Be a sweet companion for your lover, from whom you will not want to leave.

What not to talk about

The list of taboo topics is not that long. Surely you can add your own to it, but over time, the boundaries in the relationship become more flexible. This makes it possible to discuss those things that I didn’t want to touch on at first.

At first, avoid talking about:

Money. Who earns how much, who is in what financial situation now
Former ones. There is no point in bringing up the past when the current young man is sitting next to you.
Flaws. And there will be time for criticism, but it must be constructive and timely. And, ideally, served softly and with care.
Vulgarities. Bed topics and obscene jokes may also appear, but over time, when the relationship has already been established
Personal. Ask a person about his character and habits, but don’t try to get into his head and don’t force him to twist his soul.

In the ranking of the best dating sites, you can choose the site you like and register on it to find a guy with common interests and communicate without boundaries!

What topics do you like to talk about with your loved ones?
Do you discuss the same things with them as you do with your friends?
Do you tolerate silence calmly, or do you try to fill the awkward pause with at least something?

Answer in the comments

How to move from topic to topic

It's good if you know how to have an easy and lively conversation. In this matter, choosing an interesting topic for conversation is important. Ways to translate the topic:

READ

How to start a conversation with a guy you like: examples of dialogues

Smoothly move away from the original topic. For example, a guy’s story is about skydiving: find out how he feels when a plane takes off, is he scared if he takes off not to jump, but to get from one city to another, and then start a conversation about travel.
Insert a suitable joke or tell a funny story. We're talking about a guy's dog and you're already a little fed up with it? Distract your interlocutor with the phrase: “By the way, I remembered a funny joke on this topic.” Even if you don’t know any fascinating stories, you can always look up the funniest cases on the Internet. Then change the topic to something else so that the guy can't return to it.
If you want to continue a sincere conversation on the Internet, but the topic on which you are communicating has reached a dead end, start asking the guy questions. With their help, move away from the conversation and develop the next topic on which you can also communicate.
If you notice that your interlocutor is bored, you can directly suggest changing the topic. Show care - this will evoke positive emotions.

These methods are great for changing the conversation and directing it in a new direction. You just need to know how to use them correctly.