What regulates our communication? Basic ethical standards and principles of communication

It is impossible to imagine a social mechanism without the principles of communication on which certain norms, patterns and rules are based. If they are not observed, then all interaction between people will be reduced to the satisfaction of personal needs, which is an absolute degradation of society. This article examines in detail some of the nuances of relationships between people.

Culture of effective communication

The culture of communication is always laid down in childhood by parents, friends, and the school environment. Often, the communication models used in childhood may not be effective when communicating as an adult. In order for communication to be effective, some rules must be followed:

It is necessary to establish contact with the interlocutor. Without it, communication can completely lose its meaning.
It is necessary to maintain the same tempo in speech.
It is advisable to take a similar body position.
You shouldn't talk too much or flowerily. It is best for the speech to be specific.
Constantly pay attention to non-verbal communication tools.
At the end of the conversation, it is best to draw some conclusion as to whether the interlocutors correctly understood each other’s thoughts and words.

In the modern world, it is necessary to know the rules of conducting conflict-free dialogue with people in different situations, to be able to establish contact with people of any social status. Every self-respecting person should learn a culture of effective communication. It is possible to write a personal memo with all the rules for communicating with people.

Those who strive to be a successful person, regardless of gender, race, social status and age, should know the rules of etiquette.

To learn how to communicate with people correctly, watch the following video.

From childhood we learn certain norms and rules of behavior. A well-mannered person is distinguished by the fact that the rules of cultural behavior have become the norm of his life. Well-known truths need to be spoken as often as possible, which is why we turn to them once again, so that when you read them, you will evaluate yourself to what extent you follow them.

Rule 1.

Treat people the way you would like to be treated. Respect for others begins with respect for yourself, and respect for yourself begins with respect for others. Show sincere interest in people, remember that approval and praise are effective means of self-realization.

Rule

2. A good mood starts with a smile. Smile more often to yourself and those around you. A good joke brings people together. An optimist instills in those around him confidence in the success of the most difficult undertaking.

Rule 3.

Try to remain calm in all situations. Remember that it is much more pleasant to communicate with calm people. A calm atmosphere increases self-esteem and creates comfortable conditions for work, study, and creativity.

Rule 4.

Evaluate people fairly, and if you criticize, do it skillfully, preserving the honor and dignity of the person being criticized. It is best to make a comment face to face. Remember that nothing demoralizes people more than constant reproaches.

Rule

5. When communicating, strive for dialogue, then you will not only talk about your point of view, but also find out the opinions of others, which can be much more valuable.

Rule 6.

Maintain a culture of speech, which consists of the conscious selection and use of those linguistic means that help communication. The criteria for the culture of speech, defined since ancient times, are: correctness, communicative expediency, accuracy, logic, clarity and accessibility of presentation, purity and expressiveness of speech, variety of means of expression, aesthetics and appropriateness. The words a person uses speaks about his inner culture and spiritual wealth.

Rule 7.

Be aware of dress culture. The first impression effect influences subsequent communication. First a person sees, and only then hears and perceives the meaning of what is said. Sympathy for a person arises initially from external perception. Learn to win people over.

Rule 8.

Be grateful. A person who knows how to thank receives many times more. When advice is given, you should thank it, and only then decide whether to follow this advice or not.

Rule 9.

Strive for development and improvement. Once you understand that the cause of life's failures is inside and not outside of you, you will begin to progress.

The list of rules can be continued and supplemented, but we will limit ourselves to the data. Each person chooses for himself which rules to follow. However, if the chosen rules interfere with mutual understanding with other people, they should be reconsidered, and not persist in your stubbornness. If they help, then perhaps it’s worth sharing with others. A person who knows how to give knows how to receive gifts from other people.

The culture of communication is an important procedure that is accepted in society. It is expressed in speech, mutual exchange of remarks, and conversation. With its help, people contact each other and establish social connections.

Culture is formed in the process of raising a child

More about business communication

There are several principles and rules of communication in a business environment, adherence to which will make your interaction with colleagues and partners more successful:

The ability to empathize and put oneself in another person’s place, that is, empathy.
Acceptance of another employee, regardless of his goals and views, showing goodwill.
Preserving your individuality when communicating with other people, that is, authenticity.
The ability to clearly express your thoughts and answer questions honestly, to be specific.
The courage to make decisions, to offer your own options for getting out of the situation - initiative.
Directness in actions and words, that is, spontaneity.
The belief that sincere relationships improve interactions between people - openness.
The ability to express your thoughts and emotions. Accepting emotional expressions from people around you. The ability not to hurt their feelings.
The ability to extract experience from various life situations, to soberly perceive criticism, but to be the author of one’s own assessment of oneself (self-knowledge).
Willingness to provide assistance at any time, high degree of involvement in the situation.
Responsibility for your decisions and actions.

What it is

With the help of competent communication, a person exchanges information, avoids conflict situations, and receives advantages. Everyone needs this skill for a successful life.

The rules of cultural communication have changed repeatedly throughout the existence of mankind. This made it possible to generate such personal qualities as politeness, tact, and compliance. Standards of behavior are reflected in the rules of etiquette.

Features and structure

Not every communication will be cultural. Experts identify several specific signs:

To be accepted by a certain group of people, a person follows strict rituals.
The addressee perceives the execution of etiquette as a social “stroking”.
There is a speech act, i.e. communication.
Rules of politeness are observed.

The structure of cultural communication is quite simple. With the communicative side of the conversation, information and feelings are exchanged, with the interactive side, an exchange of actions occurs, with the perceptual side, the process of getting to know each other begins to establish strong social connections.

Researchers' opinion

It is the existence of culture that separates human society from the natural world. In axiology, it is believed that this term conceals a set of material and spiritual values that were created by people. The systems approach is different. In it, culture is the concentration of the qualities of humanity. It also includes the products of his activities.

M.S. Kagan believed that culture is everything that makes a person human

In psychology, this term refers to the properties of a person that reflect her worldview, attitude towards other people and the world. The concept can refer to both an individual and a group of people. Cultural communication is an important component of society. Without it, conflicts, quarrels, and clashes will begin among people. Each nation has its own ideas about politeness; this must be taken into account when contacting a foreigner.

Ethical standards and the consequences of non-compliance

When the ethical principles of verbal communication are absent or partially observed, this can manifest itself in human rudeness, insult, and opposition to others. Indecent behavioral manners are expressed in the condemnation of actions unacceptable for any individual, and the widespread imposition of one’s own opinion. This can lead to misunderstandings and damage on the part of the two parties involved. It is noteworthy that a highly moral person, driven by ethical motives, experiences discomfort not only when he involuntarily does something wrong, but also when he sees negative manifestations around him. Failure to comply with basic norms of behavior in communication can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts and even a breakdown in relationships between participants in communication.

Features of formation

Psychological readiness for school - what is it, what components does it include?
No one is born well-mannered. In order for a person to become cultured, a set of measures is used. It is implemented not only by parents, but also by educational organizations.

Important! The child learns certain norms in the process of interacting with other children.

In kindergarten, children are taught how to treat adults correctly and what polite words to use in everyday life. At older preschool age, children are already able to understand the difference between “you” and “you”, addressed by first name and patronymic.

Education is a slow process, but with constant influence the result will not be long in coming. Parents explain to the preschooler how to behave in public places, how to ask strangers, and other important aspects of existence in society.

Education continues at school age. Children are taught to behave correctly in different situations, they are shown how to demonstrate a culture of communication in writing. For example, how to write a letter in a business style, etc.

Fiction can help in developing ideas. Fairy tales, short stories and other works give children the opportunity to learn from the experience of the characters and analyze the actions of the characters.

Forming ideas about what polite contact should be like is the primary task of education. Without this knowledge, it will be difficult for a person to exist in society.

Rules for successful formal communication

The main thing is no familiarity. Flirting between business partners is also excluded. Interlocutors must find the perfect balance between polite detachment and polite involvement. The first should not turn into arrogance, the second into obsession.

You should not adhere to the picture's officialdom. At a business meeting, there may well be appropriate jokes and conversations on abstract topics. Getting personal is taboo, it’s rude and can offend your interlocutor.

Punctuality, commitment and honesty. When creating a first impression, there are no trifles - don’t be late, don’t be rude to the staff.

Business communication is different in that it does not contain fragments that hint at personal topics. This communication is to the point - polite, courteous and impartial, but at the same time inviting. It is aimed at achieving mutual understanding and contact.

Official communication provides for the following rules:

manners and speech in accordance with the specific situation;
extreme clarity of speech - clear pronunciation, clarity of presentation;
reliability of information;
correctness;
moderation;
attentiveness;
maintaining distance.

Rules of etiquette

Business communication - types, rules and culture of speech, how to develop skills
The concept of “culture” is multifaceted; every nation has its own ideas about politeness. For example, in China, Korea, and Japan it is customary to bow - this gesture expresses respect on the part of a person.

Etiquette involves more than just what is said. The rules include the acceptable distance between interlocutors, showing interest, and tact. Etiquette also includes instructions in case of violations of the rules.

For example, if a person said the name of the interlocutor incorrectly, then it is enough for him to apologize

Friendly communication may allow for slight relaxations in etiquette. Each nation has its own rules regarding how to address people of different social groups, how to talk, etc.

How to refuse correctly

Manifestation of a culture of communication – polite exchange of information. With such contact, the individual may be faced with the fact that the interlocutor needs something from him. But a person does not always have the desire and strength to satisfy the request.

In this case, etiquette provides for the possibility of refusal:

A short “no” is enough - it should not affect the relationship.
Give reasons for your position and explain why there is no way to help.
If, after a reasonable answer, the request is repeated, you can leave.

Relationships between people are difficult to build, so not everyone can refuse a request.

Chatting with strangers

At the first contact, people subconsciously form the first impression of each other. Therefore, addressing a stranger competently will help you earn his favor.

You cannot address a person by gender, i.e. “man”, “woman”, etc. It is allowed to use impersonal words: sorry, pardon, help, etc.

You can use the official ones: “citizen”, “mister”, “madam” and others. Some people prefer to address themselves informally as "you", but this is not acceptable with those who are older.

Public performance

Information meetings can be presented in different ways: seminars, conferences, presentations, etc. They are also subject to general rules of etiquette.

Important! Some large companies have a concept of internal corporate courtesy.

First of all, the speaker must think through his speech, highlight theses and arguments. Arriving unprepared is the height of impoliteness.

Treatment as equals will create the effect of emotional involvement. A preachy tone and snobbery will cause a negative reaction from the community.

The duration of the speech should be average. Too long or short will cause fatigue/misunderstanding among listeners. The audience may express disapproval, but when communicating you still need to follow the rules of politeness.

The definition of “culture” is found in philosophy, sociology, and psychology. Each science interprets it differently. Ideas changed with the development of civilization.

The culture of communication can be called the basis of socialization

With the development of technology, the scope of etiquette began to expand. Rules of behavior in the online space began to appear. For example, how to sign emails, how to contact officials, and much more.

Information resources are no longer limited to printed publications and television programs. All this requires society to develop new ideas about the boundaries of politeness.

The culture of communication dictates to a person how to talk in a professional setting, with relatives. With proper upbringing, an individual knows the boundaries of what is permissible and what will entail violating them.

How to refuse correctly

Sometimes it happens that an awkward situation arises where you need to refuse a particular offer. This can be done using different tactics. The form of refusal is chosen based on the possibility of providing or not providing assistance, the proximity of communication with the person, the personal attitude towards the interlocutor, and the type of request.

Speech subtleties of refusal:

A decisive "no"

If the situation requires an immediate response, you should not delay in refusing. A trembling voice and shifting eyes will let your interlocutor know that you are not confident in yourself. As a consequence, this opens the horizon for repeated manipulation.

Arguments

When justifying your refusal, repeated requests or reproaches are not acceptable according to the ethics of communication. If this occurs, then this is evidence of the level of communication culture of the other person, and you have the right to leave. But refusing without explaining the reason is unacceptable.

Defensive posture

There is no need to back up your verbal refusal with a psychological block in the form of crossed arms or legs. Such behavior can offend your interlocutor.

Reproaches towards the petitioner

Under no circumstances should you shame or accuse another person of impudence for trying to ask for something. His right to ask, yours to refuse. Most often, in such a situation, notations are not needed. But you can at least provide moral support.

Video

The perceptual side of communication in psychology
Communication etiquette is a set of rules and speech norms accepted in society and related to the practice of communication. Compliance with it allows you to achieve complete mutual understanding, minimize or completely eliminate the occurrence of awkward situations and even conflicts with your interlocutors.

In society, a person constantly communicates with someone. On the street - answers a variety of questions from passers-by, talks with subordinates or receives orders from a superior, talks with colleagues. On a date, he whispers sweet words to his beloved girl. With the help of communication etiquette, he easily regulates his manners and behavior. Asks the right questions and maintains the generally accepted distance.

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Types of ethical standards

The basic principles of communication are divided into mandatory and recommended. The first includes the famous medical concept - “do no harm.” In order for communication to be mutually pleasant and effective, you should not resort to insults when there are differences in points of view, or humiliate your opponent. It is necessary to exclude such behavioral tactics as harshness and rudeness from interpersonal relationships. To interact well with people, it is helpful to maintain self-esteem, modesty, and respect for others. The connection between ethical standards and motives for communication is quite obvious:

Emotionally positive motives include bringing joy, satisfying the interlocutor’s need for respect, understanding and love, as well as interest.
Neutral motives are often the goals of information transfer.
Emotionally negative ones include indignation at an ignoble act and an expression of anger at the unfair outcome of a situation.

All these motives are inextricably linked with high internal moral standards. It is worth noting that actions dressed in an ethical form, but caused by low motives (to deceive, condemn, etc.) are not ethical.

The relationship between etiquette and communication culture

Having mastered the simple rules of etiquette and learned to apply them in their life, any person will be able to achieve the best possible results when climbing the career ladder or solving constantly arising issues in everyday life.

Knowledge of etiquette and the basics of communication culture allows:

become a harmonious person;
observe the rules of decency in any environment and, especially, in public places;
understand the appropriateness of words or individual phrases depending on the circumstances, the category of interlocutors and their age;
evaluate the possibility of using certain gestures and facial expressions.

Despite the fact that many rules of etiquette, strictly observed back in the 19th–20th centuries. have sunk into the past, and they have been replaced by simpler and more democratic ones; modern man still cannot do without them.

The following fact can be given as a simple example. Many organizations have their own dress code, violation of which is unacceptable. Its observance means loyalty to the spirit of collectivism. And it is mandatory for everyone, since the success of all promotions and events carried out by the company may depend on the integrity of perception.

Conversation is an important part of dialogue. The way a person addresses his interlocutors clearly demonstrates his level of upbringing, education and intelligence. And even a few spoken phrases will allow you to find out how familiar a person is with etiquette and what his culture of communication is.

Parity

At first glance, it may seem that in ordinary life careful adherence to the norms of decency is not so important, that only active people are faced with ethics and principles of communication, in particular. But sooner or later the understanding comes that a successful conversation and pleasure from it is impossible without observing the basics of ethics. The key point when communicating is maintaining parity, that is, accepting your partner’s interests, recognizing your equality to each other and maintaining a relaxed and easy atmosphere. Oddly enough, every person does not immediately realize the rule of parity - for some, the awareness of the need for this principle comes in childhood and is laid down by their parents, while for others they have to figure everything out with their own mind. The moral and ethical principles that a person observes are a litmus test of his unique qualities and level of development. They are the basis for the manner of speech, attitude towards opponents and interlocutors, and the key needs that are inherent in a particular person.

Features of speech etiquette in communication

According to the rules of etiquette, in the presence of strangers, it is customary to call adult loved ones by their first name or patronymic name (depending on age and social status), and avoid pronouns such as “he” or “she”.

Differences in how people are addressed are due to many reasons. But still, several main types can be distinguished. :

official address - citizen, citizen, master, madam, and so on, depending on countries and language differences;
informal address - by name, to old friends or close relatives (brothers, sisters, nephews);
impersonal - addressing strangers (phrases begin with the words “prompt”, “let me pass”, “excuse me”).

Choosing the right topic when talking also relates to communication etiquette. Not everyone will enjoy a half-hour monologue by an employee during his lunch break, loudly and in detail describing his chronic illnesses or habits.

You should not discuss the actions and actions of both those present and those absent. This can become a reason for conflicts and hostility, unless, of course, professional interests are affected. And all claims that have arisen against a person are related to the performance of his official duties.

A well-mannered person will not interrupt the narrator, ask inappropriate questions, or interrupt the flow of the conversation.

Speech etiquette provides for the following situations in which standard communication formulas are used::

solemn - at meetings and festive events, when rewarding employees;
work - issuing and receiving daily tasks, solving problems that arise during work;
condolences.

Knowledge and adherence to communication etiquette has a positive effect on a person’s image. It also increases his importance and makes other people listen to his opinion.

Basic qualities of a business person

You can also highlight the basic principles of effective communication that every business person should have. These include:

work activity – creativity, initiative, love of work, diligence, ability to accept responsibility;
sociability, friendliness, sensitivity and politeness towards people;
in relation to oneself - modesty, self-discipline and the ability to self-criticize.

Psychological properties important for business communication include the following:

high but adequate self-esteem;
creative potential;
the ability to quickly make adequate and effective decisions;
the ability to speak to people in their language, insight;
the ability to make and maintain useful business contacts;
a useful habit of keeping your word;
the ability to complete the work started;
the ability to connect with people, hard work and resilience.

The following social skills are also required to survive in the business world:

insight that will help you feel the situation and, based on it, establish contact;
stimulate the partner’s speech activity;
the ability to psychologically accurately determine the end point of communication;
correctly predict your partner’s reaction;
keep the initiative of the conversation in your hands, but at the same time tune in to the emotional tone of the interlocutor;
provoke the emotional reactions you want from your partner;
be able to overcome psychological barriers;
correspond to the emotional state of the interlocutor or business partner;
set goals and achieve them through mobilization.

Etiquette between men and women - video

Etiquette is a special language of communication that makes it possible, while supporting the sovereignty of each individual, to achieve mutual understanding and respect, and ultimately to form the aura of human culture in which only a person can normally exist and develop.

Whenever we turn to issues of communication culture, the question involuntarily arises: are etiquette and communication culture the same thing or not, how are they related to each other? Answering it, we can say that etiquette is the core, the center of the culture of communication; it organizes and regulates communication according to its own laws and rules.

The very concept of “culture of communication” is a much more capacious concept than “etiquette”. Etiquette is a model, an ideal of communicative behavior, and the culture of communication is its reality with all its positive and negative manifestations. Therefore, strictly speaking, there is no and cannot be uncivilized communication. There is only anti-etiquette and etiquette communication.

Almost our entire life is about meeting and communicating with many people. And the mood, the relationship with people, and the results of our work depend on how these meetings proceed.

Everything here has etiquette meaning: who says the greeting first: sitting or standing, senior or junior, etc. ? what kind of address is used: master or comrade, “you” or “you”, etc. ? What topics and questions are considered taboo or indecent? rate of speech, pauses, intonation, etc.

Some evidence suggests that in the process of human interaction, only 20-40% of information is transmitted through speech, i.e. communication is largely carried out through gestures, facial expressions, movements, postures, etc., which accompany a person’s speech and make it more expressive.

Gestures occupy the leading place here. Gesture usually refers to the movement of the arms or hands. Depending on the restrictions that etiquette imposes on the system of gestures, gestures are distinguished: those prescribed by etiquette, neutral and unacceptable. A gesture can replace not only a word, but also a phrase. There are often cases when the same gestures in different etiquette cultures are given different meanings, and vice versa: the same content can be expressed by different means.

There are also gestures that are specific only to a particular national culture, i.e. within a given culture such gestures have meaning, but from the perspective of another culture they have no meaning whatsoever.

A smile plays a huge role in establishing contacts in communication, and in any culture it has approximately the same meaning - joy, pleasure, friendliness, etc. And yet, depending on the specific etiquette standards of behavior, a smile can be interpreted differently in different ethnic groups.

As for the modern rules of etiquette, which include requirements for external expressions of feelings through facial expressions, they are quite obvious and grow out of the same principles of modern etiquette. The main requirement is to avoid rude, vulgar facial expressions.

In addition to gestures and facial expressions, etiquette also regulates postures, pantomimes and areas of communication, which are given great attention in the West.

The structure of etiquette also includes some things from a person’s objective environment, which gives grounds to talk about etiquette paraphernalia. In this case, two groups of things can be distinguished that acquire etiquette meaning; not specifically intended for this (items of clothing: hat, tie, etc.; utensils, etc.) and actual label items (flowers, gifts, business cards, etc.).

At the same time, the role of things in etiquette is determined not by things as such, but by how they help regulate relationships between people. From the category of things, they seem to turn into signs of certain relationships. It is no coincidence that one of the tasks of education, built on the norms of etiquette, has always been the ability to read this language of symbols.

Etiquette paraphernalia takes on a special role in table etiquette, at various ceremonies, official receptions, etc., where there are special regulations in serving, costumes, and manners. And of course, the ability to use etiquette paraphernalia in its diverse manifestations, the ability to read the etiquette language of things not only gives a person the status of a well-mannered person, but also really allows him to feel more free in various etiquette communication situations (1).

Sources used:

https://wlooks.ru/etiket/obshchenie/pravila/
https://studref.com/469237/psihologiya/pravila_kultury_obscheniya
https://srazu.pro/socializacia/kultura-obshheniya.html
https://mind-control.ru/obshhenie-i-vliyanie/yetiket-obshheniya/
https://studbooks.net/530993/etika_i_estetika/etiket_kulture_obscheniya

Ethics

Ethical principles of communication can be determined by the culture of speech. According to the requirements of this concept, moral standards are put forward, behavioral manners in specific situations and various formulas of courtesy and politeness are assessed by rules. A person who observes the basic principles of communication, but violates its ethical norms, is often deceptive and hypocritical. The highly moral behavior of a person who does not use basic rules of decency in his life will never inspire confidence in others.

We can conclude that concepts such as communication ethics and good manners are worth studying together. The most common principles of etiquette and moral standards often go side by side with specific dialogue algorithms: greeting and farewell, request and gratitude, etc. Unlike speech etiquette, which is used everywhere (congratulations, gratitude, greetings, sympathy), we remember the principles and norms of decency much less often.

Handshakes

According to etiquette:

The elders give their hands to the younger ones first, and not vice versa.
Among peers, women are the first to shake hands with men.
If two married couples meet, the women greet each other first, then the men greet the women, and then the men greet each other.
Before shaking hands, a man must take off his glove. A woman does not have to do this. However, when greeting older people, everyone should take off the glove.

Etiquette for business conversations on the phone

Telephone conversations also have their own rules:

they begin with a greeting and introduction with the name of the speaker's organization and position;
the conversation should be concise and to the point;
it is necessary to maintain the sequence of the conversation;
negotiations are conducted politely, slowly, in a calm voice;
diction must be clear;
After the conversation, you need to say goodbye words.

Important! Before starting business negotiations, it is better to write the essence of the issue on paper so that during the conversation you do not jump from one point to another.