Shyness often prevents young people from making acquaintances, communicating and starting relationships, so psychologists offer a lot of options and techniques on how to overcome fears when meeting people. First of all, in search of answers on how to approach a girl he likes, a man needs to understand that shyness is a normal feeling inherent in every person. By not focusing on it, but by concentrating attention on the object of sympathy, you can achieve success.
The psychology of relationships offers a lot of options for how a guy can meet a girl under different circumstances, be it on the street, in correspondence on social networks or in public places. The main thing is to get rid of the feeling of fear, fear of public reproach, and self-doubt. To do this, you will have to work on your appearance, worldview, and also choose behavior tactics for dating and further communication.
What you need to start communicating
Learning to meet girls without being shy is not as difficult as it might seem. You can pretend that you don’t even pursue the goal of getting to know each other. Approach her in a cosmetics store and say: “I’m choosing a gift for my sister, and she has the same color type as you, could you help?” It is better to clarify in advance what a color type is. And while you're putting lipstick on her hand, there's plenty to talk about.
Nice appearance
In most cases, just being neat is enough. Clean, ironed clothes and a neat appearance make any person attractive. They say that the first thing women look at is the cleanliness of their shoes, and often this is true - you shouldn’t approach the girl of your dreams in trampled sneakers, no matter how faithfully they have served you for the seventh season in a row. But you shouldn’t forget about the rest. Save the tracksuit for the gym. Choose your clothes carefully according to your size and figure - ill-fitting trousers can kill your attractiveness.
In addition to clothes, a lady will definitely pay attention to her haircut, cleanliness of her skin and the condition of her hands. There is nothing wrong with using facial cleansers and a hair dryer - girls like well-groomed guys.
Choosing a suitable location
It is impossible to imagine an ideal place where you can meet a girl if you are afraid. The shopping center is too noisy, but the library, on the contrary, is very quiet and can attract a lot of attention. Try to choose places where the girl will be in a good mood. For example, parks or entertainment centers.
Many girls love dogs very much. If you don’t have your own, invite a dog-loving friend for a walk and go together to a crowded street or to a park. The main thing is that the dog looks friendly. It’s not so scary to meet people in a group.
But don’t invite your friend on a first date, you need to improve your relationship with the girl yourself.
Positive attitude and smile
A smile can become your reliable weapon - the girl will almost certainly smile back. Do not forget also about politeness and goodwill. It’s rare that a girl will like an arrogant: “Hey, would you like to meet me?” thrown down from above.
Option for the shyest
There are also “cheating” ways to meet a girl you like, but you’re shy. If you can’t overcome your fear, or the girl is so beautiful that refusal would be comparable to the end of the world, you can cheat and avoid even a simple dialogue.
Here's an example of this method - try writing your name and phone number on a piece of paper, and then hand it to the beauty you like with the words: “I think you dropped it.” But this method is not without a flaw: you can wait a very long time for a call, or you may not receive a call at all.
Friendly get-togethers
Starting to communicate with a stranger among friends is very simple and easy. You are in a comfortable environment, surrounded by familiar people who will always understand and come to the rescue if something goes wrong. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.
At friendly parties and holidays there are usually many girls invited. Your friend can help you meet the guest you like and introduce you to her. Since she was invited, it means she is already known to your friend. That’s why at parties it’s “all our own”, and making acquaintances here is commonplace.
Get carried away!
The more diverse interests a person has, the more interesting he is to others. A passionate person always has something to tell, something to share. He is always busy and can tell others how and where they can have a great time.
For example, many beautiful girls dance. And it often happens that for many couple dances they lack a partner. So become one! So easily and simply you can “kill” several birds with one stone: meet the most charming beauty in the hall, learn to dance well and, in addition, tighten your figure.
You can do other types of training just as well. The more girls there are, the more choice there is and the easier it is to make acquaintances. Yoga classes, sports, foreign language courses, driving - how many places are there full of all kinds of girls?!
Show a little ingenuity and observation, and you will understand how many opportunities a truly passionate person actually has. A concert of your favorite band, a skating rink in the park, the premiere of a play - all this and much more will help you make new acquaintances and become more self-confident.
Meet a girl if you're afraid
There is no universal recipe for how to stop being shy about meeting girls. First of all, you should understand yourself a little.
Finding the reason
The main fear when dating is rejection. The reason could be any: the girl is already dating someone or she simply is not in the mood to communicate. It may also be that you are not her type - there is nothing wrong with that, different women like different men.
How to overcome fear
The only way to overcome fear is to deliberately accept rejection. If you constantly think about how to avoid it, you may never stop being afraid of girls and never start getting to know them.
Find yourself a social hobby
Find people in your area with similar interests. Are you a bookworm? Join a local book club or attend a poetry reading. Do you like playing video games? Take part in the tournament. Do you like to draw? Go plein air.
This will make it easier for you to expand your social circle with people who share your hobbies. By the way, we have already given advice on how you can find friends in this way, but you can also meet a girl with whom you can easily and quickly find a common language.
How can you get to know each other in an original way?
Creativity appeals to many women, but it is very easy to overdo it. Hackneyed phrases from the Internet can cause not a smile, but irritation.
It’s better not to look for an original way to ask a girl to meet you online, but to come up with it yourself - otherwise the stranger will feel pretentious.
How to introduce yourself
The question of how to introduce yourself to a girl when meeting her does not involve many answer options. It is best to introduce yourself with your full or abbreviated name, nickname, if it is available and harmonious.
You can pleasantly surprise a girl with a joke or a compliment:
- Hello, my lady. Sir (name) at your service!
- Hello girl! My name is (name) and I am an expert on female beauty. May I know your name so that I can describe in my book the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.
- Hello, my name is... I need to know your name so that I can ask you out on a date.
The main thing is to maintain a benevolent tone and be natural. You shouldn’t put on a whole performance in front of a girl, it will be inappropriate.
Dialogue
Finding a topic for communication is often more difficult than overcoming fear and approaching a girl. Don’t immediately start talking about yourself, much less bragging - not everyone likes such aggressive marketing. You shouldn’t ask personal questions right away either.
Try to start a conversation in the context of the place and circumstances of the meeting. For example, if it’s a line to the cinema, ask the girl if this is the first time she’s watched this film and why she chose it to watch.
If an acquaintance takes place on the street, you can turn to the girl with a request to help you find your way: “When I saw you, I lost my way. Can you tell me which side is...?”
In the case when a guy decided to introduce himself in an original way, this does not mean that the entire dialogue will take place in the same vein.
There is no need to drag out the conversation for a long time. Offer to exchange phone numbers or social media accounts to continue communication and ask the girl out on a date. The main thing is that the first impression of you will already be positive.
Introversion is not a death sentence!
Photo pixabay.com
In contrast to extroverts' openness to the outside world, introverts are more likely to turn to their inner world, and social interactions take up a lot of their energy. And this is at best, and at worst, it causes stress.
We live in a crazy world - from social networks, where “everything is on display” to working in an open space - it seems that everything is created for only extroverts. However, being an introvert is not that uncommon. Research shows that introverts make up between 30 and 50% of our population!
So, under no circumstances think that there is something wrong with you, and if so far your attempts to find a girl have not been successful, then try to change your tactics taking into account the characteristics of your nature.
How to motivate yourself
Just the sight of a girl you like can motivate you - think about what will change if you overcome your fear and approach her. Maybe she is your love, but you won't know it without getting to know her.
On the other hand, you shouldn’t be too zealous with motivation, so as not to later perceive a possible refusal as a small tragedy. Remember that every acquaintance is an experience that plays into your hands. Approaching the second or third girl will be much easier than approaching the first.
Be neat!
Sometimes it’s hard to guess where your soulmate will be found, where this fateful meeting will take place: in the park, on the beach, in a cafe. In any case, you need to take care of your appearance. After all, a girl also has to make a choice, and if an unshaven, unkempt, bad-smelling young man in wrinkled jeans appears before her eyes, failure is guaranteed.
Success can be achieved if the guy stands out from the crowd. Clothes should be exclusive, even if not very expensive. It should emphasize individuality.
How do guys meet girls now?
You can meet a girl in an original or conservative way, immediately start a conversation with her or simply ask for her phone number, but in any case we must not forget about politeness and tact.
How to apply
Any conversation should start with a greeting - and meeting a girl is no exception. Say hello and introduce yourself first. There is a little psychological trick in this - having learned your name, the girl will most likely automatically introduce herself.
How to introduce yourself
Don't immediately start talking about yourself as an excellent student, an irreplaceable specialist, or a wonderful potential boyfriend. We all want to show off our best side, but showing off is not the way to win a woman over.
If you already have points of intersection, mention them: say that you live in her yard or study at the same university. If you just met a stranger on the street, limit yourself to her name.
Dating on the Internet
The easiest option for solving the question of what to do if you are afraid to meet a girl is the Internet. Thanks to social networks, a man will not only be able to get information about the girl he likes by studying her profile and photographs, but will also find many ways to start a correspondence with her. All that remains is to follow a few recommendations from experts, namely:
- To inspire confidence in a girl, before meeting her, you need to fill out a questionnaire, telling her as much as possible about yourself. You can also add some high-quality photos and add funny humorous posts.
- Now you can look for a girl, paying attention to the similarity of hobbies and interests. As soon as you find a suitable girl, you need to write to her, putting aside the feeling of embarrassment and self-doubt. It must be remembered that communicating over the Internet does not entail any risks.
- How to start a correspondence? You need to start the correspondence with a greeting, then ask her about her mood and whether she has time to chat. Communication should be unobtrusive and easy; you should not immediately indicate plans for her and the desire to transfer communication into real life.
- If communication has started and lasts several days, so as not to drag out the virtual friendship, you can ask her for her phone number. The reason may be the desire to hear her voice, which she will consider as a compliment. When talking on the phone, you need to praise her beautiful voice, laughter, sociability, but without exaggeration, so that it doesn’t look like the guy is trying to please her with flattery.
- During correspondence or calls, the girl may not respond for a long time. In such a situation, there is no need to panic and worry yourself; perhaps she has important things to do at school or at work. You shouldn’t call, bombard her with a bunch of messages, say how much the man missed her.
Expert opinion
Elena Druzhnikova
Sexologist. Family relations expert. Family psychologist.
The main condition for productive communication on the Internet is to promptly translate it into real life. If the girl makes contact, and the conversations go like clockwork, it’s worth making an appointment.
How do women want to be met?
Girls love to be treated with respect. You should not encroach on a stranger’s personal space, try to touch her, or block her path. Yes, there is an opinion that girls love persistent guys, but such behavior at the first meeting can cause irritation and complete reluctance to continue communication.
Address the girl as she introduced herself, no need to shorten her name in the second phrase of the dialogue. And, of course, in no case should you be rude in response to a refusal.
Keep it simple!
Of course, it won’t be long before a guy masters science, just as he shouldn’t be shy about girls. After all, everything comes with experience. You just need to tune in to the fact that the girl you like is not the wife of the president or the queen of England. She is an ordinary person, just like everyone else around her. But a guy doesn’t lose the ability to speak when communicating with his sister or mother. You need to take a simpler approach to the process of conversation and communication. The girl experiences the same feeling of anxiety and fear as the guy. She is afraid to say something absurd, to look funny. She also needs support when meeting a new person.
Change your behavior during a conversation
The ability to be an eloquent and pleasant conversationalist is a skill that can be acquired if you want and put in some effort. Speak loudly and clearly
so that girls don't have to listen to understand you. It also demonstrates your trust in them.
Smile more often
. There is no person in the world who does not like an honest smile. Practice smiling in front of the mirror until you get used to it and your smile starts to look natural.
When you talk to a girl, ask open-ended questions
, so that the conversation does not get hung up on “yes” or “no” answers, and keep track of the answers. Everyone likes to be listened to and heard carefully.
