Psychology of relationships between a guy and a girl, what is it?

Every woman has great potential

When a guy starts dating a girl, that is, he enters into a relationship with her, then you immediately need to understand that any girl has very great potential, which the guy has to develop .

She sits on a chest of gold

Because a woman is always a creature who sits on a big chest of gold and does not know that it is a chest of gold.

This applies not only to the bed, but also to the relationship between you and her attitude to the world..

This will be reflected in your comfort with each other, how cool you are, and everything else about the two of you and more.

Most men don't know why they need to date

There is a huge aspect of ignorance on the part of men who think that women are such dull creatures, too emotional, too incomprehensible.

Society imposes on men that they must date, that they must build relationships.

Most men go through life blindly and do not know what an ideal relationship between a guy and a girl should be like. They go through life simply guided by what seems to be necessary, but why is completely unclear.

How to build a relationship that you both will like? What should you pay attention to in your partner’s psychology so that everything goes well with you?

What kind of relationships are there?

We all understand what a relationship between a guy and a girl is. Each person had their own unique experience.

You also need to understand that there are two types of relationships:

Polygamous. This is an open relationship. Polygamy is a very poorly common type of relationship.
Exclusive (monogamous) . The majority are in exclusive relationships; this is when there is a girl and a guy 1 on 1.

Only you decide which choice to make between them

What choice to make is only your priority and your choice .

Only you can decide what kind of relationship you want. Both relationships have their pitfalls.

It turns out that many people fall into exclusive relationships unconsciously .

Polygamous relationships are more a matter of choice.

In what cases does polygamy occur?

First of all, it is the guy’s understanding of how much he needs other girls besides the main one.

Polygamous relationships also occur in cases:

When a guy doesn't have a main girlfriend.
When a man leads a free lifestyle and he simply loves freedom.

I'm talking about polygamous relationships, which are still a choice . That is, a man has relationships with girls after intimacy, and he has several of them.

Be honest with your partner and yourself, mistakes

First of all, a man must have experience in an exclusive relationship before building a polygamous one!

Big mistakes many guys who are trying to build a polygamous relationship:

A man can experience a lot of pain by lining everything up incorrectly.

Girls are generally able to accept the polygamous nature of men . One way or another, everyone has it. But in men it is more pronounced, and this belief in society plays into the hands of men.

If there is an outright lie and hiding other girls , the girl will leave precisely because of the lies, and not because you want a polygamous relationship and are trying to build it.

Therefore, it is very important to approach this intelligently and build polygamy consciously.

Otherwise, you yourself will end up with a lot of pain and internal worries if this does not happen.

How can a guy position himself correctly for polygamy?

Be honest with yourself and with the girl.

Tell her right away that you don't want an exclusive relationship.

Tell her about the friends you're dating.

Say that you also like her and you don’t know what will happen next.

Let her understand this completely and open up to her from the beginning.

So a man gives a girl a choice: either she takes it completely, or leaves.

She understands everything.

Initial stage in pairs

A guy meets a girl he likes, there is reciprocity on both sides and they are cool.

How can a guy let a girl know that it would be nice to go deeper into the relationship:

If everything goes smoothly and perfectly for you, there is attraction, you automatically fall into a relationship . Often, a guy doesn’t need to do anything extra special in such cases. The girl has a toggle switch in her head that he is a potential boyfriend for her and, last but not least, a lover. Often you don't have to do anything special.
If, however, the relationship between a guy and a girl somehow doesn’t work out , or the guy is not entirely sincere in his intentions, then the guy should talk about his feelings. A man should say that he enjoys being with a woman and would like to spend more time with her. A man does not need to talk about some kind of unearthly love, it is enough to say that he is pleased and would like to continue.

If everything works out and she understands, then you are in a relationship.

Usually you fall into them automatically, and she herself will make it clear by verbal and non-verbal signs.

How to become more confident as a girl: informed tips for girls on how to gain confidence.
How a guy and a girl should kiss correctly, step-by-step instructions for French kissing with a video lesson - we describe in detail at the link.

What kind of women men don't like?

It's easier than you think to scare a guy off without even trying. Try not to make such mistakes in your search for love.

First, don’t burden him with your problems.

A man's main fear is when a woman immediately makes him obligated. In the words “I waited for you so that you could help me,” the man will see an attempt to sit on his neck. He will feel like an instrument for fulfilling someone’s desires and solving problems. It is unclear to him why on earth he is forced to solve these problems.

The second option to push a man away is to immediately outline your material claims

“I’ve been dreaming of replacing my old phone for a long time, but I don’t have the money,” “How I would like to relax in exotic countries, but it’s so expensive.” Only a short-sighted, limited woman can “hint” her chosen one about her desires in this way. A man will decipher such a signal as follows: “I am only interested in your money, not love.”

The third way to ruin everything at the very beginning of a relationship is to say that you are only interested in men with serious intentions

The chosen one will take the initiative himself when he wants seriousness in the relationship, but he should get to know you better. After several dates, he will not make plans for marriage. If you set a condition for him: either to the registry office, or we are not on the way, he will choose the second option, because he does not want to feel like a dog on a leash.

The fourth type of behavior is often demonstrated by women who have experienced a separation or divorce in the recent past.

When meeting new people, some women make no secret of their past, describing unsuccessful relationships as absolute horror, and the culprit of all troubles and misfortunes turns out to be their ex-husband/partner. If your ex-boyfriend wasn't the best of men, don't make him look like a monster to your new boyfriend. Employers are guided by this principle when hiring: it is unlikely that an applicant for a vacancy will get the desired position; if he throws mud at the previous director, this is considered unacceptable. The guy to whom you denigrate your ex understands perfectly well that in the event of any scandal, the same accusations will fall in his direction.

Fifth, keep silent about your existing child.

Swap places with a man - it turns out that for several meetings the man openly kept silent about one of the most important moments of his life. And then by chance: I have a son/daughter. This will destroy all the bridges built between you, because you kept silent about the child.

Children are the most important part of every mother’s life. If a girl conceals their existence, the man will be wary: either you are a cuckoo mother and the child is not particularly important to you (which cannot but frighten you), or you consider the man a materialistic person who will only be frightened by the presence of children, and this offends him.

It's normal for a girl to take steps towards him

A girl can take small steps towards herself on her own.

It's normal for a woman to invest in a relationship with a man . There is nothing unnatural here at all and this is how the relationship between a guy and a girl should develop.

There is no need to clutter your brains.

A man doesn’t always have to have the “ I’m a leader ” type of thinking.

Here you can completely let go of something and give the girl the opportunity to take the initiative.

I’m not talking about the prize model that supposedly a man should attract a woman’s attention.

I’m saying that a man is also a busy person and has his own things to do, and it’s normal for a girl to show attention to a man.

Where not to start

Not every man can build a strong relationship. Alliances with some gentlemen are doomed to failure in advance. The good news is that such an unpromising candidate can be recognized even on the first dates. If something in a man’s behavior is alarming, you should not hope that you will re-educate an adult.

So, the anti-rating of the chosen ones includes the following types:

a rich “playboy” is a person who has significant financial resources and is accustomed to an idle lifestyle; he changes women like gloves, enjoys parties and travel and is in no mood for a serious relationship;
accentuated cold - he clearly does not love you, but only tolerates you next to him for some reason; over time, the situation will only worsen: he will begin to be irritated by your slightest shortcomings, nit-picking will appear on minor occasions, conflicts and scandals will become commonplace;
rude - if a person shows cruelty to you or other people in front of your eyes, run away from him, since the risks of becoming a victim of domestic violence are high;
narcissist - he simply cannot love anyone but himself, so you won’t be able to build the relationship of your dreams with him;
a jealous person - it is only in the initial stages of a relationship that the behavior of a jealous person can be confused with care and love; soon his desire to take control of all areas of your life will begin to weigh you down, and constant suspicions will exhaust you mentally and physically;
stingy - a greedy person demands financial reports from his other half and makes claims for every penny spent; a relationship with such a person cannot a priori be romantic;
lazy – he goes with the flow, does not want to take responsibility into his own hands and work to improve his financial situation; He has high expectations for a woman: she is obliged to support him, serve him and also support him morally.

And now a life hack: take a closer look at your man’s mother - what she looks like, how her communication with her son goes. If this is a woman tortured by life, towards whom her grown-up child treats her with disrespect and consumerism, do not doubt: the same fate awaits you. After all, basic behavior patterns are formed in childhood. It is no longer possible to change an adult.

To live together or not to live: advantages and disadvantages

When you have been dating for some time, the question arises: “Should you live together or not?”

Let's first remove questions about money, about a place to live, who will move to whom.

When you start living together , you need to say 2 important things:

You spend more time together and begin to depend on household factors . You need to understand that when you live together, relationships begin to develop differently.
There must be an understanding that the candy bouquet period will pass for you . The chemistry and psychology of the relationship between a guy and a girl changes, an eerie mutual love passes at some point. According to various studies, this happens from 3 months to 2 years, and you will have to move to some other plane.

Secrets of keeping a man's love

Longing, anticipation and excitement before each rendezvous, raging passions, a sea of tenderness, fabulous sex and the desire to be around for days on end... But at some point the romance dries up. This does not mean that love has gone, it’s just that you have gone through a period of “connection” together, and then you will inevitably face a phase of “keeping your distance.”

Even in love, men need free space; they go out to meet friends and engage in hobbies. If you forcefully keep them close 24 hours a day, they may go on nightclub sprees or prefer to date with alcohol.

By the way, women also demand freedom, but in other ways: they provoke quarrels, deny a man intimacy. And then the real war for power in the relationship begins with the establishment of rules and boundaries. The peculiarity of this period is the desire of both partners to be independent, to have freedom of action and their own space. At this stage, many couples break up, some endure it, but are already internally ready to pack their things and leave. And the rest accept the “battle”, see the enemy in the object of love and begin a real battle in which there will be no victories.

All stages - symbiosis and distance, freedom and dependence, intimacy and refusal of sex, the likelihood of a third party and associated feelings, jealousy and shame - are a natural process, each stage of which takes partners to a higher level of relationships.

How to help during crisis situations? Don’t give up, defend your opinion, quarrel and doubt - this is natural! But don’t scare your partner with the words “If you talk/behave like that, then there is no love!” Don't threaten to leave a man, even if he really offended or disappointed you. In moments of quarrels, do not forget about this secret of love.

1. Stay a woman

The beginning of a romance is the time when partners blossom. Both feel desired, loved and happy. At every meeting they receive sensations and emotions. Plus, when we daily plunge into the ocean of compliments and tenderness, our self-esteem rises to the maximum. But over time, frequent words of love become rare, passion gradually burns out, and as a result, self-confidence falls. At such moments, you should not pester your chosen one with demands for ardent declarations of love, otherwise you may get a backlash.

What's the secret? There is no need to hide yourself from others and save beauty only for your lover. Force yourself to be attractive, flirt, make eye contact, use all feminine tricks when you go out. Tested: the more other men pay attention to you, the more desirable you will look in the eyes of your own husband. This is the main secret of love between a man and a woman. A drop of jealousy will only strengthen the relationship. This is comparable to seasoning in a dish, the main thing is not to overdo it.

2. Set priorities: first “I”, then “We”

If you feel like one of the two halves of a single whole called “We”, and you tell your friends or acquaintances “We will come”, “We will discuss”, then you are dependent on the relationship. The more often you are tormented by jealousy, the fear of losing your chosen one, the more your partner feels that you dream of tying him to you. In his soul, he wants to break free from your captivity of love (and sometimes he does so).

But it happens the other way around, a man does not give passage to his soul mate, without letting go of him. How to save a relationship? Let's reveal another secret of love! There is nothing terrible about the fact that sometimes “I” + “You” turns into “We”. It is important that you understand from time to time: “dependent” and “free” need to occasionally change places. This is one of the important secrets of maintaining love.

If you feel that you have settled on one of the roles described above, mentally return to the moment in your life in which you began to play this very role, remember how it was before (even if it was in a previous relationship). If you have taken the position of a “dependent other half,” then it is better to think about how to regain freedom, find the advantages of being independent from your loved one. But the “autonomous” part of the couple needs to decide how to provide their partner with a sense of stability and reliability as a sign of justification for their love of freedom. Justice is an important secret of love.

It is very good when a woman, in addition to her lover, has many friends and acquaintances with whom she can spend her free time. The belief that your spouse is your only best friend and you don’t need anyone else is wrong and can lead to a loss of meaning in life. Take this secret of love as a rule.

3. Accept that he still hasn't learned to read your mind.

“My husband should know about everything that I love or want right now” - this female logic is incorrect, as is the conclusion drawn from it: “Since he cannot please me and has no idea about my desires, it means he is not interested in me or doesn’t love you at all.” As a result, the sex life of many married couples is destroyed. Such problems often arise due to people's inability to talk about their desires. Your silence will never solve the difficulty that has arisen; you will have to endure the inconvenience of your intimate life. Sex will turn into a boring, monotonous performance with a spent and boring “entertainment program.”

What to do with understatement in love? There is no secret, just tell the man about your desires. It is important not to criticize a man as a sexual partner, but to point him in the right direction.

Living together means less freedom

If you start living together, this is primarily a disadvantage.

All the shortcomings

What disadvantages can be identified if you started living together:

This is especially a disadvantage if a serious relationship between young people occurs for the first time. You start looking for an apartment, find and arrange your things and begin to get used to each other.
Everyone is used to different things and their own order . This can be such a painful process. Girls, as a rule, are more tidy, and men begin to scatter their things somewhere. Some kind of confrontation may begin here.
First of all, this is the aspect of freedom . It will inevitably seem to both of you that somehow there is less living space. Especially if you lived alone before, there will be a clear problem of personal space. If it’s completely unbearable, then this can become a stumbling block for both of you.

Literally from the first days the question may arise: To live or not to live further?

But behind such a veil of love, everyone can forget about it , when in the first months of a relationship most of the time is spent in bed.

TOP 5 books on relationship psychology

And in order to better understand men, it is necessary to begin to understand male psychology, and the psychology of relationships. To do this, we recommend reading the following books:

Robert Johnson "We" The Deepest Aspects of Romantic Love"
John Gray "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus"
Michael Matteo "A Book about Tasty and Healthy Relationships"
Tina Tessina, Riley Smith “How to Live as a Couple and Stay Free”
Andrey Zberovsky “13 ways to overcome the crisis of love relationships”

Greater mutual understanding: what is it eaten with?

Greater mutual understanding is, of course, an advantage in the first place.

What are the advantages of relationships in terms of mutual understanding?:

It's cool that there is a person nearby for whom you have good, sincere feelings.
If you can find common activities, then you will live in a completely different flow . It will be more general for you. From there you can find the interior space for yourself. There will be an understanding that the person next to you is growing and smelling.
You will have a moment of such spiritual intimacy if you find a partner with whom you are simply interested. Your human understanding will grow.
Over time, you learn to understand each other perfectly . This is a definite plus for relationships.

But, on the other hand, there will be difficulties in terms of mental adjustment. Because a person’s value system may not be entirely compatible with yours.

The second stage is searching for information_8212

Friends, acquaintances, going to public places such as parks, exhibitions and conferences - all this will help you learn about single men. Even social networks can help with this. Yes, the task is difficult, you will need to spend enough time to find a good candidate. The main goal at this moment is to meet the person who interests the woman.

The main problem at this stage is the fact that the older the woman, the more difficult the search will be. But more mature women also have their advantages. Once a worthy candidate has appeared on the horizon, it’s time to proceed to the next steps.

How to solve all the grindings

If there is something you can't put up with about your partner, it might be worth thinking about what that person has to put up with about you in order for things to go smoothly and more comfortably for you.

If you cannot accept a person for who he is at least at the first stage, then, of course, you will immediately ruin the relationship, and there will be many problems.

Why people fall in love: an article about how a man and a woman are attracted and find each other at first sight!
Let's find out everything about polygamy and monogamy: which relationship is better - revelations from Roman Soshnikov.
An article about how a guy can hug a girl correctly - the meaning of hugs.

How to tie your loved one to you?2

In order for love and family happiness to be strong, a woman should not give her lover any reason to think that he is not important to her. If a girl puts her chosen one first in life, and he feels his importance, then love will in no case stop burning between the two halves.

After all, each of us wants to be unique and unique for our loved one. This may be difficult for busy people who work tirelessly, but it is a goal worth striving for. Finding free time for a person dear to you, communicating with him at any free moment. This way the male representative will feel how important he is. This is appreciated and always nice.

How to arrange everything so that both are comfortable

First of all, we need to pay attention to such a thing as personal freedom . Usually this joint comes from girls.

Let your partner know that you have activities that he cannot attend.

When a relationship between a guy and a girl begins, or you live together, the guy needs to let her know that you have activities in which she is not and cannot be present .

This should be done not in an ultimatum form, but from the point of view that this is normal, natural.

Let your partner understand that you cannot be with each other online 24 hours.

Being constantly connected isn't always super cool

There are couples who are in touch 24 hours.

Very quickly, as a rule, they run out of everything.

That is, they sit with each other on Skype, constant correspondence, calls, SMS. Plus, they spend time together at home.

As a result, they are faced with what is “bored” ! There is such a crisis in the relationship between a girl and a guy when they are no longer particularly comfortable together.

Give up clinging and fear of loss

Therefore, everyone must have a certain number of activities, in which there may not be a partner .

Here we need to discard the unhealthy feeling of egoism like “she’s mine” or “he’s mine.” You can read more about the ego and how to get rid of its influence in another section.

You can do the things you like and devote a certain amount of time to it.

Let your loved one know that this is completely normal..

Then you will save yourself and your loved one from the discomfort caused by spending time together all 24 hours.

What does a woman get in a harmonious relationship?

Relationships are akin to a contract, where everyone receives their share of benefits and pleasant bonuses:

Increased self-esteem. Without a good man who will complement a woman, she becomes sad and lonely. All around are friends with guys, and she is beautiful, not stupid, but lonely. A long period of soul-searching and self-destruction begins. The appearance of a reliable and worthy partner in life guarantees an increase in status in the eyes of friends and relatives, and, consequently, self-esteem.

The woman is getting better. Physical fitness is constantly adjusted in the gym. Outwardly, she blossoms, glows with happiness, strives to show the best in her, is actively involved in hobbies and charity work, and becomes more emotionally stable. A man, positively assessing the changes, gives her confidence and new strength in the struggle for perfection.
There is no emotional hunger. In the absence of a long-term relationship, it becomes urgently necessary to feel care, understanding, support, and simply talk with someone about love and feelings, to share experiences. The appearance of a man brings a rich emotional component, joint goals and aspirations appear, and there is someone to tell about painful issues.
Psychological comfort from the knowledge that there is a couple. These are no longer two different people, but a new group, a small team. A woman feels more comfortable from childhood under the care of her parents, and then her husband. And the status of an unfree woman brings the psyche into a state of peace and gives a feeling of satisfaction and peace.
Having children only strengthens a stable relationship. A woman begins to fully feel like a mother, she has a new role, new instincts are activated, accumulating strength for a further breakthrough to the goal.
Motherhood and raising children together gives stable hormonal levels and a stable psyche, and develops an adequate response to stimuli.
The security and stability guaranteed by a reliable partner cannot be replaced by anyone. She always feels comfortable with a reliable person. In any situation, she knows that she will be protected and will not be allowed to offend her family and children.
High-quality and regular sex is also important for health and fullness of life.

Relationships in which two individuals complement and saturate each other with emotions bring only benefits. They don’t make you tired, they don’t make you stressed, it’s comfortable and convenient, it’s easy, as if it’s always been this way. A woman with a good partner feels comfortable, reliable, has someone to talk and dream with, someone to support and listen to about the hardships of life.