Forms of communication and stages of relationships between a man and a woman

Women often complain that men do not understand them. To men, women's conversations seem illogical and empty. Why do such disagreements arise between people who sincerely want to understand each other?

The science called gender psychology studies the differences in the psychology of men and women. She identified about 300 differences between the characteristics of thinking and behavior of representatives of different sexes. The priority direction of her study is gender characteristics of communication.

A man thinks in verbs and nouns, and a woman thinks in adjectives. Oleg Roy.

Which of us has a greater need for communication?

Already from early childhood, girls have a greater need for communication than boys. Over the years, this trend has continued. Representatives of the fair sex are superior to men in verbal abilities. They have a richer vocabulary and faster speaking speed.

The main thing in communication for men is to achieve results as quickly as possible. That is why in a conversation they tend to speak to the point, starting the conversation with important points. For representatives of the stronger sex, logical, consistent and well-reasoned statements are important. They do not like lengthy discussions and abstract conversations. Women prefer to have a long conversation, giving a large number of examples. They like to find out the truth during the conversation, asking a large number of questions.

A very important point, which quite often leads to conflict situations, is that when a man is busy with something, he will not carry on the conversation. It is natural for women to multitask and discuss the latest news. Men always focus on performing one type of activity; they cannot distribute their attention. Women need to take this into account. If a man is busy, then it is better to postpone the conversation with him.

About the fear of betrayal

And sometimes we are afraid of betrayal. What if our openness is used to our detriment? What if our words and experiences become the subject of ridicule and discussion?

Here it is worth weighing the risk that we take by opening our soul (of course, not to the first person we meet, but to the person to whom we are attracted, with whom we want to build a relationship), and the pleasure from rapprochement, the unity of souls, which leads to the creation of truly happy relationships, including sexual ones. What could be greater pleasure from a spiritual connection with another person? It's worth the risk.

Moreover, the risk is not as great as we think. If you understand the person with whom you are building a relationship as well, and even better, than he understands himself. Even basic knowledge about the human psyche, obtained through training in system-vector psychology, makes this possible for everyone.

How do different genders express negative emotions?

• Communication between man and woman differs not only quantitatively, but also qualitatively.
  During the conversation, men are aimed at exchanging information. For representatives of the fair sex, communication is a way of emotional release. When discussing events that are important to them, they reduce their level of emotionality. This is another reason for the misunderstanding. By telling a man a certain situation, a woman seeks to “talk it out” and receive emotional support. He begins to give advice, which annoys his interlocutor. The essence of the problem is that by advising and explaining the situation, a man shows his concern, while a woman feels that she is simply not being listened to. In order for a woman to receive the desired support, she just needs to be listened to.
  Features of women's communication are that in almost any situation it is characterized by emotionality.
  They express both positive and negative experiences in conversation. Men are more reserved. They experience negative states in silence, independently thinking through possible options for solving the problem that has arisen. The best behavior strategy for women in such situations is to leave their partner for a while and give him the opportunity to think. You should not ask about what happened, you should not give advice when it is not asked. If a representative of the stronger sex is offered a way out of the situation, he perceives such behavior very negatively. This is interpreted as a sign that they do not believe in him and are considered unable to cope with the situation on his own.
  Peculiarities of communication between men consist in the fact that they are categorical in their statements, often ignore the comments of their interlocutors and strive to prove that they are right.
  They often get into arguments and sometimes tend to be aggressive. The female position in the conversation is softer. Representatives of the fair sex listen to the opinions of other people, especially if they are family and friends. They change their point of view more often and avoid conflict situations.

  Women often make hints, hoping that men will understand them. This behavior is erroneous, because male representatives think rationally and take everything literally. That is why they need to say everything directly, without subtext or hints. Women have more developed intuition and a tendency towards empathy (the ability to understand and empathize with the interlocutor). This is why they understand hints much better.

Features of communication with a representative of the anal vector

In some cases, an attempt to talk about intimate things can end in conflict. Men for whom the first experience, purity of relationships, and fidelity are important (these are the owners of the anal vector), as a rule, react very painfully to frankness about their beloved’s previous relationships. Although they are often the ones who are interested in this. This happens because they want to be the best, but are not always confident in themselves.

A woman who decides in this case to go for this kind of frankness risks falling into the trap of her own gullibility. As Yuri Burlan’s Systemic Vector Psychology says, the psyche of a person with an anal vector is turned to the past, which is preferable to him than the present. He is ready to admit in advance that everything that happened before is better. Having learned about the “ex”, the anal man, having a very good memory, will never be able to forgive her for her past lovers, because, in his opinion, they are a priori better than him. He will reproach her with this at any opportunity.

Such a conversation has its own characteristics that are best taken into account in order to make communication as pleasant and fruitful as possible for both partners. System-vector psychology gives us very precise recommendations on this matter.

Recommendations for men

1. If you smile too often, you may be perceived suspiciously, therefore, as for the opposite sex, it is important to be able to laugh sincerely. If you remember, the psychology of the weaker sex is such that they easily read non-verbal information; this skill was inherent in nature so that the mother could recognize the needs of her baby. Therefore, the most basic recommendation is to be sincere.
2. When communicating, show as many open gestures as possible, which indicate a willingness to be honest and open. For example, don’t hide your palms, don’t cross your legs...
3. You should not keep your attention on other girls, otherwise the interlocutor will catch your gaze, which will not have a positive effect on the relationship.
4. There is a gesture that indicates your self-confidence and inner strength, it is called the “pyramid”, this is when the fingertips and palms are joined together. So, if you want to conquer your interlocutor and not give away your excitement, use it during meetings.
5. To make you more inclined to have an intimate relationship, you can use this technique: place your index finger on your lower lip, hold it for a couple of seconds, then lightly tap the lip a couple of times and remove it. This will cement the message and desire to move to a new level in the girl’s subconscious.
6. Listen carefully, try not to interrupt, lean your body forward slightly to demonstrate your interest.
7. You can put your thumbs behind the belt, and if you are sitting, keep your hands on your hips, or stretch your legs forward, this will create a feeling of your disposition towards the girl, as well as a manifestation of love and a demonstration of masculinity.

The role of a woman in the art of emotional conversation

A woman always sets the tone in a relationship. She is desirable, and the man goes where she unconsciously attracts him. Therefore, starting a sincere, sincere conversation, that is, being naked mentally, is easier and more natural for a woman. It is much easier for her than for a man to be open. This does not mean the exchange of rational information (paying bills, shopping, vacation plans), we need this in everyday life, but this does not apply to creating an emotional connection.

By starting to talk about herself, about her feelings, sharing her innermost things, a woman involves a man in confidential communication. And he responds, responds with frankness to frankness, because this is always a mutual process.

At the same time, you should not be afraid to express yourself the way you feel, the way you want, even if there is no such attitude on the other side yet. The man will gradually get involved. You walk forward and he follows you.

The rapprochement of souls occurs gradually; you should not start with difficult and painful revelations. Let intimacy begin first. It’s better to start with some innocent but dear childhood memories, perhaps related to food, or children’s secrets. This will naturally relieve some of the initial tension of revealing the secret. Give the man the opportunity to answer, to open up himself, to speak. Listen to him, focus on him. Let him know how much you appreciate his sincerity.

Gradually you will feel trust and will be able to share even more intimate things and inner states. This is especially important for carriers of the sound-visual bundle of vectors, for whom mental and intellectual connections are the most important in life.

Talk to a woman about your feelings

So if you love your woman, don't lie to her. Discuss with her everything that in one way or another concerns you, what you feel and what you worry about. BUT! There is no need to complain to her about your financial or work problems or anything else . As I already wrote in the article “Who is a real man? Part 5.4. Should a man pay for a woman?”, a man can complain/cry/ask for advice only from an older comrade, whom he a priori considers stronger, more authoritative, wiser. This could be a father, an older brother, one of your friends, a boss at work, a teacher, etc. But not your woman. For a woman, when a man complains, it is a sign of weakness. But telling her your experiences, especially those related to her, is very useful for your psychological state and for your relationship in general . Watch melodrama films, one of the common cliches of screenwriters, aimed at a quarrel and separation of the main characters of the film - an omission, a misunderstanding, a misunderstanding that the spouses did not say in time. I understand that the topic is not entirely masculine :)), we were not raised that way, and we are afraid and do not know how to do it correctly. That's how it happens :)))

But it is definitely necessary to communicate correctly with your woman and it is useful to be able to do it correctly. How exactly - I will write a separate article about this, or you can find out about this at my trainings for men or personal consultations.

Tips for Better Communication

1) Communicate regularly

Don't wait until conflict arises to determine how you will respond. Make it a regular part of your day to communicate with your partner. You don't need to say much, start by asking simple questions and encourage your partner to answer in a way that you understand. Take turns talking, by doing this you begin to learn to respect each other's point of view and practice your listening skills.

2) Listen carefully

Show your partner your undivided attention. Make sure that the noise in your environment is kept to a minimum, turn off the TV, put away your cell phone, in general, you need to disconnect from all distractions. Pay attention to the details, your partner will give you "key words" to help you understand. Listening carefully is a great way to show love and respect.

Manifestations in a woman

• Signs of sympathy are more pronounced - in addition to dilated pupils, girls’ cheeks often turn red, they linger longer on the person they like, they can lick their lips, preen themselves, and make slips of the tongue in a conversation. The mood is lifted, sometimes they even laugh at bad jokes, they can copy a pose, quite unconsciously wanting to be “on the same wavelength.” She crosses her legs so that you can appreciate her thigh; if you are sitting next to her, she may touch you with her shoulder, as if by chance. If her toes are turned towards you, but at that moment she is flirting with another guy, it is likely that she wants to make you jealous, or to check your reaction, how much you liked her.
• When there is sexual interest, the girl casually, at the slightest opportunity, examines the guy’s figure. He may do this demonstratively, but for some reason this gaze often remains unrecognized.
• A sign that she is not at all interested in your communication or is already quite tired of it is the same as with guys. The girl will show interest in everything, but not in you, she may yawn, cover her mouth with her palm, as if supporting her chin and cheek. If, in addition to all the signs, her posture is completely closed, with her arms or legs crossed, then nothing good will come of it at the moment.

The important point is that most of the signs must be present at the same time, otherwise, it is likely that the interest will turn out to be false or not directed at you.

There are times when a girl’s eyes light up, there is a happy smile and her pupils are dilated just because she just recently had a meeting with another person.

Manifestations in men

• If a guy wants to please, or shows interest, he straightens his shoulders, sucks in his stomach and raises his head. He may begin to unknowingly tidy himself up by straightening his hair or his shirt collar. When the opportunity arises, he looks for an opportunity to be closer, and in a large company, the toes of his shoes will be turned towards you. He might accidentally touch you, your hair or your hand.
• Recognizing love is not difficult. It is worth taking a closer look at his pupils in a room where there is natural light; if they are dilated, you were able to conquer him. His gaze periodically looks away when you look at him. It’s just important to understand the difference between boredom and the desire to hide their feelings towards you. When meeting, he may subtly raise one or both eyebrows upward.
• If, when communicating with you, he spreads his legs wide apart, unbuttons the top button of his shirt, glances over his figure and looks carefully at his lips, then this signals an increased interest in you, only of a sexual nature.
• Think about what mistake you made if the man next to you begins to yawn, invite other interlocutors to talk, and periodically glances at his watch or phone. An unfocused look, toes of shoes turned towards the exit, fidgeting in a chair or nervously tapping his fingers on the table are signals that he can’t wait to leave your company.