In this article we will tell you:
- What is friendship
- Types of friendship
- Is friendship possible between a guy and a girl?
- Pros and cons of friendship with the opposite sex
- To be friends or not
How many works have been written, how many surveys have been conducted with one single goal - to find out whether there is friendship between a guy and a girl. Completely opposite answers are given to this complex question. How psychology looks at this is described below.
So, there are young people - a guy and a girl. In order to date fully, they do not have enough sympathy and attraction. But they don’t want to lose communication with each other, so they choose the option of simple friendship without intimate hints.
But we’ll find out whether this friendship is real and how long it will last.
Signs of true friendship
Psychologists identify 5 main signs by which one can determine how real the friendship between an adult man and woman is:
- Lack of sexual desire. Relationships in which there is room for unambiguous hints and flirting can hardly be called “purely friendly.” Emotional development between two partners cannot remain at the level of flirtatious glances and caustic compliments. Sooner or later one of you will want more. Your relationship will either move to the next level or simply end.
Friends have no desire to play such “cat and mouse”. If a guy or girl doesn’t set a goal to please, their relationship is as honest and open as possible. Real friends don't try to look better than they really are. After all, they are loved for who they are in real life.
- Everyone has their own personal territory. The lack of romantic attraction between friends of different sexes does not interfere in any way, and even helps in arranging a personal life with other partners. The comrade knows exactly your marital status, and under favorable circumstances, he knows your spouse.
Bonus - advice and recommendations from a real representative of the opposite sex. You could say that you have a secret agent in the opposite camp who will share secrets and explain the behavior of your potential lover.
- There are no prohibitions or taboos. In the event that friendship between a man and a woman implies only a friendly relationship, new acquaintances do not bother anyone. A single guy can easily start an affair with one of your girlfriends. And in return, you ask your friend to meet his handsome unmarried colleague. For true friends, this is the norm. But if your requests are refused or you are unwilling to discuss this topic, this is a reason to think about it.
- In the first place is the beloved woman. No matter how close you are to your guy friend, it is logical and right that his life partner will always be a priority. A friend will help you in a difficult situation with advice and will come to the rescue if possible. But if a man abandons all his affairs, work, even his family, and then rushes across the city to you after the first call, the matter here, most likely, is far from friendship. This rule works in the opposite situation. Your friend's interests cannot be more important than the requests of your husband or boyfriend.
- Alcohol test. Are there 100% methods to check whether a man loves or is friends with a girl? Of course, there are guys who will hide their true intentions until the last moment. But it’s not for nothing that the saying “What’s on a sober person’s mind...” is so popular among the people. Good old alcohol liberates and helps bring hidden human feelings out of the shadows. Light alcoholic drinks and a secluded atmosphere will put everything in its place. In case of sympathy, a drunk man will begin to more actively show attention to the object of his passion. You will feel it in words, glances, attempts at light touches. If his behavior towards you does not change in any way even after several glasses of wine, then, most likely, for him you are only a friend in a female form.
Is cynicism man’s friend, or what?5
The most cynical people are former romantics who tried to go through thorns to the stars. In fact, if a person evaluates relationships from the perspective of benefits, he can:
- “be friends” with anyone, if his “friend” or “girlfriend” can solve the necessary issue, help with business, get him a job, and even give him a test to write off;
- quickly part with a person who has become useless. It is precisely these “comrades” who quickly leave the bankrupt rich, singers and poets who have ceased to be popular, and even bloggers who have flown away from the wave of hype. They behave approximately the same way in the family. Has your wife gained weight after giving birth? No, we will not help her with the child, so that she goes to the gym, we will find ourselves a mistress. Has your husband lost his job? Why do we need one, we quickly go to mom and register on Tinder;
- “selling” your friends for money, social preferences or some other benefits. A person goes over his head, if he has to choose between money and friendship, he will choose money. And the environment is also based on the principle of “profitable or unprofitable”, and not according to other criteria.
Cynics can truly fall in love or become friends, but this is rare. Yet, most of them are actively trying to obtain material benefits, not spiritual ones.
Cynical girls can exploit their “friend” in any way they want. For example, someone needs to show their parents that their personal life is in order. The friend quickly transforms into the “boyfriend.” And then, when it’s not profitable, he goes back to the “friend zone.”
Cynical guys may use a “girlfriend” to get acquainted with her sister or someone else in a close circle, and then, when the goal is achieved, not even respond to messages on social networks.
Types of friendship between a man and a woman
What types of relationships are possible in the case of two friends of opposite sexes:
- friends-lovers. A fairly common situation is when two people with common interests begin a love affair. From the psychological point of view, if communication between a man and a woman implies mutual sexual interest, the outcome of such a relationship is as favorable as possible. You have similar hobbies, views on life, dreams, plans for the future. Add to this romantic attraction - the ideal basis for creating a harmonious couple is ready;
- friends with Benefits. Do you think this only happens in movies? Real life is often much more impressive. Friends who choose this format are usually not in a serious relationship. A proven, reliable person acts as a sexual partner. At first glance, this is a promising scheme. Problems will begin if one of the friends goes beyond “just sex.” After all, no one is immune from the appearance of other feelings;
- Marriage is not a hindrance for friends. It’s wonderful when in a married couple, the man is not only a support for the woman, but also a faithful companion. According to statistics, such marriages are the strongest and most durable. Where else should a wife look for her best male friend, if not in her beloved husband?
- "friends only". The option in which a guy is friends with girls without any intimate hints, and vice versa. Most do not believe in the existence of “selfless” relationships between the sexes. Some claim that they have long and successful friendships with a member of the opposite sex. How pure this intimacy is, only the friends themselves know.
This is a scary word - friend zone9
This is the name for a relationship in which one partner artificially reduces the other’s attempts to become closer to nothing. What is a friend zone for girls - this is a concept with a connotation of “you are not worthy or do not deserve my love.” There are a lot of threads on this topic on the Internet, but it’s not just girls who “friend zone” their partners.
For example, a guy is handsome, young, wealthy, has his own business and some strange hobby like a love for Swedish arthouse films. His girlfriend is young, wealthy, beautiful, but does not live up to the “luxury girlfriend” of a rich businessman. That is, she does not have pumped lips, size four breasts, and legs from her ears. Such an ordinary girl, her hair is not even keratinized.
The girl wants to get closer, and has repeatedly tried to “break out” of the friend zone. The guy continues to treat her as a friend, goes with her to the cinema at a Swedish arthouse, but to fashionable action films - with other girls. And to clubs too. And he goes on vacation. Over time, our heroine develops an inferiority complex. It seems to her that it’s all about appearance, or more precisely, about the unwillingness to meet fashionable beauty standards.
The girl finally gets tired of being “friends” and she simply stops responding to messages. She finds a guy, dates him, and gets married. But she will never forget her friend and trying to “get out of the friend zone.” She would have called first, but she thinks everything is lost.
How not to ruin a long-term friendship?
Don't provoke . Some women like to test their charms on friends: flirting, advances, coquetry, seductive gestures... A man’s eyes light up and he perceives the provocation as a call to action.
If you really value friendship, find another object to experiment with.
Know the limits . This is especially true for revelations about personal life and intimate preferences. You can try on underwear with your girlfriend or discuss lovers - she understands everything correctly.
Men, on the other hand, cannot escape their physiology: it will be difficult for them to get rid of the memories of how “just a friend” paraded in a sexy set that did not hide anything, because “she needs an outside opinion.”
And it’s simply inconvenient to discuss positions from the Kama Sutra or fantasies with a person who is not your sexual partner.
If you don't want to ruin your friendship, be careful. This is balancing on the edge of an abyss: one wrong word or move - and a fall is inevitable. And nothing can be returned back!
Alarm bells that should alert you:
- excessive attention from a friend;
- gifts for no reason (courtship);
- your friend avoids companies and tries to spend more time alone with you;
- an interest in your hobbies and interests has appeared, although previously he only frowned when he heard the word “fitness” or “IT courses”;
- he strives to maintain tactile contact;
- Unmotivated irritation appears if you talk about other men.
What's happened? Yes, love just replaces friendship. And what to do with it is up to you
Why do girls not want to date me, but at the same time are willing to be friends?
Of course, it is very disappointing when life gives such a “gift”. Words cannot express the range of feelings that you can experience when you feel like a “girl’s tail”, and not even in childhood. On the one hand, this characterizes you well as a sympathetic, friendly, understanding person. You are understanding and understandable, you can be trusted, you can be relied upon. These are wonderful human qualities. But what you lack is brutality or, as they used to say, masculinity. Perhaps you need to prove yourself as a male defender, maybe even try to fight, defending the rights of one of your friends, and not just be a vest in which it is so comfortable to cry.
Yes, you even need to show some kind of primitive masculinity, of course, in the good sense of the word. Initially, a man is a protector and provider. Work in this direction. It is necessary for a certain “dipole” to form, at one end of which there will be a woman - weak, gentle and beautiful, and at the other - a man, brave and courageous. And it’s not a matter of muscle mass or the ability to be a “greyhound,” but of perseverance and desperate courage.
When friendship is impossible
Regardless of what kind of relationship people were in, friendship after separation is impossible if:
- irritation and resentment remain, at every meeting you want to prove something, make your partner bite his elbows;
- passion is alive, people are drawn to each other;
- one of the participants is attached to the other, in love with him;
- jealousy arises;
- Nostalgia torments, memories cause severe pain.
Psychologists recommend ending all relationships if possible after breaking up. If this is acceptable, then it’s even worth changing your place of work and your social circle. Or step aside for the first time, until all emotions subside and perception and thinking are restructured.
Guy + girl = friends
Adolescence slowly (or not so slowly) turns into youth. And friendship is tested again - a period begins when almost every representative of the opposite sex is subconsciously perceived and assessed as a possible “couple”. But over time, it’s easier to evaluate your feelings more and more objectively, and it’s easier to separate friendships from falling in love and attraction. And the phrase “we’re just friends” comes much easier. It must be said that sex is often present in friendships at this time. No matter how it may look from the “generally accepted point of view,” sex often brings such friends even closer together, making the relationship even more trusting and warm. But only if both of them clearly understand that the relationship between them is of a friendly nature. If not, the friendship ends because one of the friends is now waiting for something more. Nothing can damage a friendship more than unmet expectations, jealousy, and dependency.
If a friend suddenly appeared
Yes, friendship can end in sex, or a wedding, or anything at all. That's the beauty of modern life. There are fewer limits, we have more and more varied entertainment. The main thing is that the wishes of friends coincide. And it happens that one friend has fallen in love a long time ago, but the second one still doesn’t.
There is no need to think, worry, or build some strange schemes in your head. You just need to talk, because you are friends. Otherwise, what is the point of all friendship if people cannot find a common language?
Family friend of the opposite sex
Some married couples are haunted by the question: can a family friend of the opposite sex pose any threat to the relationship? There are two possible scenarios here:
- If there is true love and complete trust between husband and wife, then the percentage of destroying this family will be low, at least at the stage while these feelings are in force. And a friend of the opposite sex will be perceived as a common friend without attention to his gender.
- If in a marriage there is an element of mistrust, constant jealousy, suspicion, checking phones, etc., then there is a possibility of betrayal. For example, if a husband’s friend is in love with his wife, then there is every chance of seducing the young lady. This can happen if only because due to such manifestations of mistrust and constant proof of one’s innocence, it is common for a person to get tired and begin to cheat in revenge.
Therefore, by and large, everything depends on the relationships in the family and the feelings that the spouses have for each other.
Adaptation in society with the help of friends
Thanks to female friendship, it is much easier to establish relationships in society, assert oneself and begin to develop. Since male and female development differ significantly, therefore, in the company of similar girls, it is much easier to change. After all, a friend will be able to understand a lot when a guy friend considers an action or information devoid of logic.
When communicating, the main thing is to have emotional intimacy with a sensitive perception of it. This connection is the main difference between male friendship and female friendship. Men prefer to look for solutions to problems and explain and explain everything logically, while women’s conversations sometimes do not have a definite meaning.
The other side of female relationships includes scandals, intriguing conversations containing a lot of gossip. Typically, such communication is strongly expressed precisely in adolescence, when the personality is still being formed.
Girls can easily maintain a friendly relationship with a friend, even after a strong quarrel or betrayal. Girls who do not have many acquaintances try especially hard to maintain this kind of connection.
Why is it generally believed that it does not exist?
The position that friends are failed lovers is very popular. The reasons are simple:
- A person judges from his own experience. In life, he really would not have minded meeting a friend or girlfriend, but this did not happen for some objective reasons;
- That's what mom, dad, school or teacher council said. Other people with their authoritative opinions lay down their attitudes from childhood. That’s why we have illogical attitudes that are not related to personal experience;
- I really want to believe this. Victims of unreciprocated love can be “friends” with those they love for years and wait for the situation to turn in their favor. This is quite natural;
- Extreme cynicism. A person is driven by the thirst for profit, the desire for power, and sexual satisfaction. Friendship is only a temporary association of organisms with common goals. Once a goal loses its relevance, it will fall apart. In this case, it is logical to want a more unambiguous relationship;
- Sexism. Guys believe that girls are not full-fledged people, since their dad told them so. Girls are like guys, although they are “on horseback” in society, but under the heel of the family. That's what mom said.
- Both sexes do not get anything particularly attractive from the relationship, so the system of concessions, checks and balances. Of course, it is impossible to be sincerely friends with such attitudes.
Personal experience of not very good friendships2
Girls have such friends. An amazing young man who is always ready to help in a difficult situation, loves the same films and even reads books. But it’s immediately clear that he wants to date, not be friends. And the poor woman doesn't like him at all.
Yes, it happens that girls are not just happy about the fact of having at least some guy in their dull and gray life, but choose him based on his appearance, voice, behavior, and even the aroma of perfume, it doesn’t matter. Relationships can be good and mutual, but there is absolutely no spark. And that's okay.
Let’s say a friend insists and is offended that he is being “friendzoned.” And she doesn't do it on purpose. She just doesn't like you as a sexual object. Yes, the guy can be a tall, muscular blond with blue eyes and a salary of thousands of dollars. But only a small, wiry brunette can light up a girl. And she doesn't care about the salary.
Over time, friendships with different goals are quite exhausting for both the guy and the girl. And both “friends” part very dissatisfied. The reason is the difference in goals. Over time, the girl develops the stereotype “guys only need one thing,” and they generally stop communicating with men just like that, not for the sake of relationships or work.
Advantages and disadvantages
What are the advantages and disadvantages of friendship between a guy and a girl. A close friend of the opposite sex can always give useful advice. He looks at the situation from a different perspective and can notice what was hidden from your eyes. This person understands the psychology of his gender very well, so he can lift the veil of secrecy and explain what motivates your partner when he behaves strangely.
The key advantage of such a relationship is the lack of competition. Remember how women destroy the bonds of strong male friendships. Even best friends can quarrel to pieces over one attractive gentleman, thereby erasing their common past. When a man is friends with a woman, they have nothing to share.
Their areas of romantic interest do not overlap, but their lovers can create serious obstacles to the relationship. This is the main drawback of this friendship. Close communication with a representative of the opposite sex can cause jealousy in the other half, which in turn will lead to misunderstandings and scandals. The couple may even break up.
Jealousy can also arise from a friend, but it should not be regarded as a manifestation of romantic interest. Previously, you spent a lot of time together, but now your significant other demands more and more attention. How can you not start to get jealous here? The friendship of a man and a woman is always based on honesty, if we are not talking about a friend zone. Such people have no need to flatter, so they do not hesitate to express the bitter truth to a friend’s face.
The most interesting thing is that it is not perceived as acutely as, for example, with friends of the same sex. If a woman makes a remark to a girl that she is wearing too revealing outfits, then this will be perceived as a barb. When something like this comes from the mouth of your male best friend, then the criticism is well founded.
Friendship between a guy and a girl does happen, but real relationships without romance and ulterior motives are quite rare. They can develop in childhood or arise from the fragments of a marriage. If one of your friends develops a slight romantic interest, you should think ten times before risking this strong connection to satisfy your own carnal desires. Partners come and go, true friendship remains.
Sexism and friendship6
It’s sad, but despite the declared equality, we are too focused on the “gender difference.” Some argue that guys “only think about one thing,” others say that girls are too materialistic and cynical, and will only be “friends” if you have a simple provincial salary and don’t have a car.
The girls are too weak and it’s not interesting to go hiking with them. The guys are too rude and don’t understand art; you can’t invite them to the exhibition. All of these are manifestations of sexism.
Discrimination against a person because of his gender, or more precisely, the perception of him due to social stereotypes “you’re a girl” and “you’re a boy” hinder the friendship of a man and a woman. In patriarchal countries, religious prohibitions also put pressure. In general, there is no chance.
At the same time, there is even such a type as “the guy.” This is a girl who is interested in cars, football, games, sports, can drink beer without making jokes about excess weight, and support any conversation. Stereotypically, they are friends with such girls, borrow 1000 rubles from them until their salary, and even drink beer with them.
But according to the majority, one does not start a relationship with such people. The girl who is “her guy” will hang out on the outskirts of the male world as a kind of universal comrade who wants more, but gets nothing. After all, he fell into the “only friend” category. What is a friend zone and how to avoid it, read on at the link.
Friendship between ex-lovers
We will talk about the possibility of friendship after sexual relations, that is, when there was no love relationship between a guy and a girl, living together, dating, and so on. As a rule, this type of relationship occurs after a one-night stand. Both partners may enjoy this process so much that neither will want to end it after the first night.
Theoretically, and practically, former lovers will be able to be friends. After all, if love did not arise, then why not friendship arise. People who are not connected by everyday relationships and common everyday difficulties often share some important moments of their lives with each other, begin to trust each other and, over time, friendship arises between a guy and a girl. These people have nothing to share, nothing to quarrel about and spoil relationships, because, in fact, in the literal sense of the word they did not exist.
Often, even if they have relationships with other people, former lovers maintain warm, friendly feelings for each other. In this situation, the main thing is that someone does not truly fall in love, otherwise quarrels may arise due to jealousy and imbalance. The result is the same, if people have nothing to share and there is no place for jealousy, then this is an excellent basis for friendship, because if there is sex out of friendship, then why not there can be friendship after sex!
Why is it needed?
If during the relationship a man has become a dear and close person to you, it is understandable to want to continue communication and not lose money from your friend . If, on the contrary, the hobby was light and short-lived, and at the end you realized that you are not very interested in each other, it is not clear why you should continue communication in a new form.
There are situations when girls, breaking off a relationship, leave their ex-lover “to themselves.” The young man, continuing to harbor hope for the restoration of relations, is always nearby, will help if necessary, support, congratulate you on the holiday and will not let you feel lonely. On the one hand, this is convenient: there is always someone who will reinstall Windows, pick it up from the airport, and give you compliments. On the other hand, it is not fair to your ex-lover. The situation can be the opposite, when a man leaves his ex-girlfriend “with him.” It’s not good to put a person in such a situation; it’s definitely not worth getting caught in it yourself. So, when inviting a young man to “stay friends,” honestly answer the question of why you need this . And is it even necessary?
There is a chance!
The greatest chance to part as friends is for a couple whose feelings have slowly and steadily faded away, but respect for each other remains . Or people who calmly and peacefully realized that they now have different goals, so they cannot move on together.
The problem is that such things are very difficult to comprehend calmly - partners usually put pressure on each other, try to win each other over to their side, and things often end in scandals, swearing and unpleasant scenes. And it is very difficult to move from such a situation to friendship.
Don't try to be friends with your ex immediately after a breakup.
As we have already understood, friendship between an ex-boyfriend and a girlfriend is possible in some cases, but you should not do this immediately after a breakup. Don't think that you can become friends with your ex so easily right after the breakup. Your partner may still resent you for ending the relationship. As a rule, the first month after a breakup is the hardest. Then you will gradually begin to recover, and by the third or fourth month you will already be returning to your previous lifestyle. But I want to note that this only happens in cases where you break up by mutual consent. Things could be much worse if you broke up with your ex because he or she cheated.
In any case, you need to wait a while before resuming communication. Then make sure you move on completely from your previous relationship. If you still feel that feelings remain between you, you should not start a friendship. In any case, you will be jealous and worried when your ex finds a new partner. Sit in your room and ask yourself the following questions:
- Would you say yes if your ex asked you out?
- Still worried about a breakup?
- Would you like to spend the night with your ex?
Non-reciprocal love4
Everyone had one. Usually a person tries to close himself off from pain and breaks off contact with his lover, only sometimes continuing to dream. This is a pretty healthy strategy if you have the strength to move on peacefully. But it doesn’t work well if there are no such forces. And the lover can begin to actively “make friends.”
The appearance of such friends in life only makes things worse, because a person constantly falls into the trap of the difference between his desires and capabilities. Over the years, he becomes more and more disappointed, and the pain transforms into disappointment, and the person ceases to perceive reality adequately.
It may seem to him that life in general is unfair, and there is no love or friendship. Such a person needs to try to get out of the abyss of negativity, and not focus his attention on broadcasting negative thoughts outward.
Friendship between ex-spouses
And finally, the most difficult case is the possibility of friendship between ex-spouses. Most often, complicating factors are added to the imbalance that was described in the previous example. For example, division of joint property, children, savings, and so on. And the divorce process itself leaves many unpleasant moments for both partners.
Can friendship arise between ex-spouses? Real, sincere, the kind that “in the snow and in the heat” is unlikely, but maintaining respectful, calm communication is still worth it, because often, after many years of married life together, it is not so easy to completely disappear from the sight of a friend friend. This is especially important if you have children together. According to the latest statistics, for every 1 million weddings, there are almost 600 thousand divorces.
That's more than half! And only 1 out of 100 divorces can end in true friendship, according to psychologists. They also believe that friendship with a former spouse is a losing decision, but do not forget that all relationships are individual and unique. If the former spouses are connected by something really important, for example, children, then it is worth trying to maintain communication. But still, if treason or betrayal was involved in the relationship, then there can be no talk of friendship if each of the former spouses has self-respect.
Friendly relationship between a boy and a girl
Probably many people remember their first “kindergarten” “love”. Yes, oddly enough, kids tend to call friendship between a boy and a girl exclusively “love.” They see the generally accepted norms of relationships in the adult world and transfer their external side to themselves.
A little boy knows certain rules of behavior towards a girl - girls need to be protected, girls need to be given in. And then one appears that you want to protect more than the rest. You want to play with her because she's cool, she's not afraid to pick up a worm on a walk, and she knows everything about Spider-Man. By the way, he will most likely consider this girl the most beautiful. And she confidently says to her parents at home: “I’ll marry her!” Of course, this is friendship. It’s just that the baby doesn’t yet know other ways to “strengthen” this relationship, he doesn’t know that you can be friends with a girl, like with a boy - no one has explained this to him yet.
In adulthood, boys and girls are already able to share the concepts of friendship and love, and, it would seem, everything should be simple. But... But then the period of growing up begins and the awareness of sexuality with all the “charms” of adolescence - both physiological and psychological - intervenes in friendly relationships. If at this moment a teenage boy has a friend who is “their boyfriend” or a growing girl has a friend who is “the best friend”, they are very lucky, because they get “their person” in a completely incomprehensible, but such an interesting world - the world of the opposite sex , “completely different” people.
Friendship between spouses
Every second family in Russia gets divorced. In marriage and after it, the relationship between spouses develops differently: some become enemies, some become business partners, and some become best friends. Yes, you can maintain a good relationship after a divorce, but under several conditions:
- the separation was a mutual decision;
- the marriage did not end in betrayal or betrayal (people simply decided that there was no further path for them);
- there was no emotional, sexual, or physical violence in the marriage;
- the former spouses still have a common business or a child.
If the divorce was a forced measure or one of the spouses was abandoned, then there can be no talk of friendship. It will not be possible to build a good relationship even if the marriage or divorce process was so difficult that just the name of the former partner causes a surge of negative emotions (disappointment, resentment, anger, fear).
Separately, it is worth considering the divorce of spouses who have children. In this case, they should try to maintain, if not friendly, then at least business relations. Of course, provided that one of the parents does not threaten the life and safety of the child. If someone is a good parent but a bad spouse, then this is a problem between two adults. The child should not suffer because of their differences. He has the right to communicate with both parents. But provided that parents can communicate normally with each other.
Interesting fact: 43% of women and 60% of men dream of having a sexual relationship with their ex-partner. This is not surprising, because during marriage people study each other inside and out, they know the characteristics and preferences of their partner. This is what sometimes becomes a stumbling point in friendship. A good relationship combined with nostalgia - and now you find yourself in the same bed again. But this is no longer friendship.
Related article:
Should you get married: the pros and cons of marriage. Why is marriage necessary and why do people get married? Psychologists explain how not to get married
What to do if your loved one keeps you in the friend zone
But what to do if you find yourself in the “girlfriend” position? There are many different options here. First of all, you need to understand the reason why you got there. Maybe she doesn't see you as the man of her dreams? Maybe you're just not her type or you just haven't shown her that you're interested in her as more than just a friend? Everything is individual here.
Here are some tips to resolve this situation:
1) Change!
Here you need to be careful so as not to lose your true self in the pursuit of love. But, however, some changes in yourself will sometimes be beneficial. Play sports, change your style, or find out her musical preferences and show her that you like them too.
2) Cause jealousy!
It's possible that she's keeping you as a backup option in case something else fails. Show her that the train can leave forever while she is walking around the station! Find yourself another girlfriend, or better yet, a girl right away. If she understands that the sword of Damocles is hanging over her, then she is yours!
3) Disappear!
Not completely, but only from her life, and only for a while. Separating for a couple of weeks or even months will result in her collapsing into your arms when you return. The main thing is not for too long, otherwise she will decide that you have disappeared forever and will go to look for happiness somewhere else.
4) Or maybe all this is useless?
To be honest, most cases of ending up in the friend zone are hopeless. So, excuse me, why waste time on those who don’t love us? After all, as the President of Belarus Lukashenko bequeathed, “We must go to new places, where they don’t know us, where they are waiting for us...” In any case, for the time and for the resources that you spend on someone who doesn’t need you, you can find a woman who will love you, wait for you and worry about you. Think about it!
The best quotes about friendship between a man and a woman
- Friendship between a guy and a girl cannot be mutual. For one of the parties, such a relationship is always a hope for something more.
- Something always comes between the friendship of a man and a woman.
- Friendship between a man and a woman is impossible; between them there can be passion, enmity, adoration, love, but not friendship. (O. Wilde)
- Quotes about friendship between a man and a woman - A guy is friends with a girl hoping for something more, and a girl is friends with a guy thinking that the guy doesn’t hope for anything.
- There is no real friendship between a man and a woman, so this theater of two actors always ends at the moment when someone inadvertently shows his true feelings.
- Well, how can a woman and a man understand each other, because they both want different things: a man wants a woman, and a woman wants a man.
- Are you and her just comrades? Is your friendship based on past intimacy or planned one?
- Friendship between a man and a woman can exist if a man is unable to win a woman, but wants her to be in his heart.
- Friendship between a man and a woman is when one is friends and the other secretly loves.
- If a man is friends with a woman, then the woman believes that he cannot achieve more.
- Friendship between a man and a woman is possible, but you should always have condoms with you)))
- Friendship between a man and a woman is sex postponed until later.
- Friendship can not exist between any man and woman, but only between lovers, no matter: former or future.
- Care and tenderness, confidence and help are the advantages of opposite-sex friendships.
- Our friendship with him is somehow wrong: we can’t stand it when one of us finds a mate.
- This friendship exists as long as neither of the two has a soul mate... When it appears, you have to sacrifice either friendship or love.
- If a man can be a woman's lover, he will never become her friend...
- Friendship between a man and a woman is possible only if the man is gay...
- Friendship between a man and a woman is like jumping, running and swimming at the same time.
- Cool quotes about friendship between a woman and a man - And somehow it happened so that the hand slipped, the head fell on the shoulder, the faces turned to each other at the wrong time. And the friendship went to hell.
- I believe in friendship between a man and a woman: after all, there is friendship between a cat and a dog)))
- A friend is such a warm affection that can be called love... and why overshadow it with sex?
- The only sincere and lasting friendship is that between a man and a woman, because it is the only affection free from all rivalry.
- Friendship between a guy and a girl is IMPOSSIBLE... Someone will definitely fall in love and ruin everything...
- To be friends with a woman, you must first of all be in love with her.
Mom said so
We love our parents and that's normal. But their experience often becomes decisive in our lives. Let’s say my mother is sure that a friend who writes to a girl at night just to chat about French existentialists and tomorrow’s philosophy seminar is not a friend at all, but a potential lover.
Maybe she herself only had friends, or had neither, and the appearance of her daughter was a miracle. Who cares, what matters is that mom broadcasts her valuable opinion every day.
Let's say a friend turns out to be not very good, and posts a video from his last birthday, where the girl was a little out of her mind and danced on the bar counter in shock. This not a happy story is superimposed on the words of my mother, and now, welcome a new person who believes that there is no friendship between a guy and a girl.
Films about friendship between a girl and a guy
Is it possible to just have friendship between a boy and a girl?..
Or is someone still experiencing romantic feelings? We are sure that you have asked this question more than once. Our top films are just about this. Maybe after watching them, you will finally get answers to your questions.
"Keeping the Faith"
Priest Brian has been Rabbi Jake's friend since childhood, and nothing can break their bond. At least that's what they think until Anna, another childhood friend, shows up. An old friendship turns into romantic feelings: Anna starts dating Jake, Brian also falls in love with her - it turns out to be a very complicated love triangle. It is very interesting to watch the development of events, the plot keeps you in suspense until the very end!
"Just friends"
The hero of the film, Chris Brander, fell in love with Jamie Palomino when he was a child, and then he was seriously overweight. They meet again as adults, and Chris wins over the girl with his charm, impressive abs and, finally, a declaration of love that is irresistible. This is a very interesting film, full of positive emotions, so it’s definitely worth watching.
"At least once in my life"
The film by Irish director John Carney “At least once in my life” is not without a touch of melodrama, but first of all it is a story about overcoming deep love wounds with the help of creativity. The main characters, played by Keira Knightley and Mark Ruffalo, are both experiencing a crisis on all fronts of life. She decides to leave New York for her native England after her boyfriend betrays her. He's a divorced producer who gets fired from his own label. As it should be according to the laws of the genre, their meeting changes the lives of both - and at the same time envelops the city with magical music.
Of course, it is possible that these two will find salvation in each other's arms, but throughout the entire film there is never a hint of romantic affection between the characters. But they become true friends, who equally help each other to let go of the heavy burden of the past and transform the present. Isn't this the value of true friendship?
"Lost in Translation"
Sofia Coppola's film Lost in Translation launched Scarlett Johansson's career, and Bill Murray once again masterfully played... Bill Murray. The action takes place in the Japanese capital. Aging screen star Bob comes to Tokyo to star in a commercial, and young Charlotte finds herself there with her husband, who constantly disappears at work. They meet in a cozy bar and from then on begin to spend all their free time together, escaping in each other’s company from the suffocating loneliness of a foreign city.
No one knows (except perhaps the crew) what exactly Charlotte whispered in Bob's ear in the final scene. Despite this, after watching there is no doubt that a strange, but very beautiful friendship blossomed between these characters, which never developed into something more throughout the entire film.
"Sex for Friendship" (2011)
Jamie works at a recruitment agency, she is smart and very beautiful. But, alas, everything is very difficult in her personal life. After breaking up with her lover, the girl decides not to enter into a serious relationship. Through work, she meets Dylan, a very charming guy from Los Angeles, whose personal life also has some difficulties. He came to New York for an interview. The young people became friends very quickly, because they had so much in common. But one day Jamie and Dylan decide to have sex without obligation.
"Love, Rosie" (2014)
Rosie and a guy named Alex have been friends for a very long time. They are not jealous of each other and can only kiss when very drunk. The guys decide that they definitely need to go to study at the same college. But fate decides in its own way - at a party, Rosie gets drunk and spends the night with the school handsome man. And a few weeks later she discovers that she is pregnant. She doesn’t want to admit her mistake to Alex, but she has to give birth. After all, Rosie’s parents, and she herself, are believers. She and Alex forget about each other for a while, but then become pen pals again. Well, then 12 long years follow, during which the guys need to understand whether they are friends or something more?
Sources:
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