What to do if you don't know what to do with your life / Sudo Null IT News

If you recently graduated from college and now have a job you hate

, or your employment is temporary, this material is for you.
You don't have to strain yourself to save the world. Or launching a new Amazon.com. Or figuring out how to get your own cooking show on TV. Or tomorrow turn into Oprah Winfrey. No. All you have to do is start. Here are 9 tips to help you find your own path if you don't know what to do
.

Offer your services to people in need

You have certain skills and abilities that can be useful to other people.
Find a way to help someone and do something. It doesn't really matter what. Could you believe that you have the chance to help people—including adults—learn to read? Or that a skill in demand all over the world is teaching English? Sending emails requires some knowledge. And there is a huge need for people to learn basic programs like Excel and Word. People also need support with basic tasks like typing letters, sending emails, posting updates on social media, etc.

You have skills that can help others. By giving what you have - time - you can better understand what activities make you happy and inspired.

Love

Of course, you can’t do without love. As proof of my theory, I will tell you about it. It happened to me, and sooner than I could even imagine. Not because I was great and did everything right, just because I found the strength to get up from my knees. And I went into love. The fifth step is to allow yourself to love. No one determines whether you are happy or unhappy except you. The strength to build a new world and recreate yourself anew lies within you. I don’t remember how this idea came to my mind, but there are a lot of examples confirming that the idea is good.

Continue to live, not because you have to, but because living can be good. Love others, open yourself to love, take care of yourself, develop yourself, change something, anything, remember what it is like to do what you love. At the same time, add awareness. Change your life yourself, wish for happiness and achieve it, because it depends on ourselves.

Blog about it

Are you interested in a specific topic, career or new business?
One effective way to discover new industries and areas of expertise is to blog about them. Blogging is a great tool to share, educate, learn new things, and explore your own passion. Starting a blog isn't that hard, and once you do it, you'll have an easy online outlet for stories, communication, and passion activities.

If you enjoy cooking, create your own recipes and share them with friends and family on your blog. If you're interested in moving up the career ladder, write about what matters in your industry.

Indulge in memories.

Regardless of where you are, you need to try to relax and transport yourself to where it was once good. There is one rule - no one should exist in this plot except the dreamer himself. A calm melody or aromatic tea will help you tune in to visualization.

It doesn’t matter where consciousness ends up - on your favorite fruit tree or in the arms of a sea wave. The main thing is that it is nice and cozy there.

Memories of funny stories, which often immediately bring a smile, have a beneficial effect.

It is important to know! A smile is not only a manifestation of positive emotions or a way of non-verbal communication. Harvard medical scientists have shown that using the facial nerves to create a smile can “trick” the brain into believing that everything is fine and there is no danger.

This technique helps you survive difficulties without losing your composure.

Read the books on the shelf

Books are often underrated, but they can be called amazing coaches, teachers, mentors and advisors.
In their books, various people have left invaluable recommendations, wisdom and guidance for action. The works, filled with important practical advice, were created by the most inspiring and successful individuals.

You won't be able to meet Ekhat Tolle, Seth Godin, Donald Trump, or the women of SharkTank for lunch and get advice from them, but you can buy or borrow their books to tap into their knowledge, advice, and strategies.

These people are willing and happy to give you 2 hours of their time for less than $15! Not ready to go and buy another book? Take the works already on your shelf and read them. Take some notes along the way and apply them to your own life.

Lay low.

The most dangerous thing that awaits a person who has received a slap in the face from fate is making rash decisions. When emotions and feelings take over, it becomes impossible to carefully calculate actions. A good example of a behavior model is the thoughts of Scarlett O'Hara, the main character of the film Gone with the Wind, who in all difficult situations tried to find self-control and uttered the key phrase: “I'll think about it tomorrow.”

The decision to stop and take a pause to process what happened allows you to buy time to weigh the pros and cons.

Find something that energizes you

Everywhere - at home or at work - there are things that you do simply because you like them.
They make you happy, excite you, entertain you. What do you enjoy? No, you won't be able to snorkel in the office, but are you able to incorporate your favorite activities into your daily work? Or can you consistently remember which responsibilities bring you real joy? You may hate sales meetings, but enjoy hosting workshops. You have the right to despise reporting while loving the creation of expert reports.

Think about what you like and don't like about your job. Find those tasks that make you happy and immerse yourself in them more actively.

Sublimate and create

Meanwhile, life went on. I returned to work, where everyone, of course, knew who I was now. One friend told me then, “The most effective thing you can do now is to throw yourself into your work.” It seemed to me that this was complete nonsense. The last thing I wanted was extremes. I convinced myself that the cup of suffering must be drained to the bottom, which means I cannot hide from my pain. If work helps you, then take it as a lifeline, but I knew that it would not help me. Maybe because I didn’t really like my job, so, on the contrary, I wanted to run away from it. And then I began to look for something that I love. The third step is sublimation. I'm not going to put a negative connotation into this word. An abstruse way of reducing everything that seems lofty and salutary to the level of the banal fact that you are just a person, psychologically predisposed to hide pain and fear in creative expression. But no matter how it sounds, I went through this too. I started playing music. And so I, who was a nobody, became, not everyone, of course, but someone. I wrote songs, revealing the most intimate things to those who might not even understand what was happening to me at that moment, I sang and played, giving free rein to my feelings, and they poured out as if from an overturned glass.

The energy that arises in each of us, barely noticeable in some and unbearable in others, has two properties: to destroy and to create. Being destroyed, destroying and breaking everything around seems natural, and, I admit, even pleasant, but to create means to live. And I chose life. In other words, if you don't put your energy into creativity of any kind, it will begin to destroy you and everything around you. This is another piece of wisdom I have absorbed in my quest to heal.

Create. Give your energy free rein, but direct it in a creative direction.

Work, by the way, is also included in this section. I found creativity in my seemingly unloved job. Why is this step important? Because it leads to sensuality. It seemed to me that I was dead inside, and my heart yearned for the love that I did not have time to fully absorb from the one I had lost. That is why I began to look for this love in my work, music. I was lucky, I worked with children, and they are known to be energetically strong. So I allowed them to love me, and then I found out that I also had a lot of unrealized love left in me. And this is already a very big achievement.

Let your feelings be realized in anything, then the feeling of emptiness will finally begin to fade.

Leave the house. And leave your hometown

Go and do what you want.
It doesn't have to have anything to do with your career or goals. Go and look at something new. Attend a lecture, go to a museum, go to a bookstore. Do what suits you and - ideally - does not require payment. This will inspire you. If you have never left your hometown, buy a ticket somewhere. No, you shouldn't act like Chris Guilbeault (and visit 193 countries), but why not consider a trip to visit your grandparents?

Travel to a city you've never been to before, or travel to a country you've wanted to go to all your life. In a new environment, you can easily meet your soulmate, find your dream job, or understand your purpose in life. At the very least, you will see something unusual and expand your own horizons.

How to learn to live

Goodness and peace to my dear readers!

Have you ever seen people who spent years of intense and continuous effort pursuing their goal, only to become depressed after achieving it? We've all been through this to one degree or another.

Who is too lazy to read “because there are a lot of letters” here is a link to the video version.

The first time I experienced this myself was when I was about ten years old. I remember this very clearly: my parents promised to buy me a Yamaha musical synthesizer if I finished a year at music school with excellent grades. It cost a lot of money at that time - about $300 - keep in mind, these were the 90s! And I've been waiting for this moment for so long. Every time I found myself near a music store, I went in and looked at this overseas curiosity and imagined the day when it would be mine.

And then the day came - drum roll - I got it!

Long sigh.

Well, she made me happy for about two weeks, and then, I myself even noted this moment very clearly - the joy passed. And this is at 10 years old. I remember this moment well.

Even then I wondered to myself, how could this be? I wanted it for so long and the joy passed so quickly.

Then in life this happened many times: with every car, apartment and even girl. And each time the surprise was less and less. And then I, like everyone else, got used to it. After all, this is our universal human quality - we always get bored with everything. Everything, without exception. This quality applies to all people: white, black, old, young, poor, rich, who lived 1000 years ago or living now.

Let me give you an example.

If we now conduct a survey: “what tastes better: lobster or chicken?” - I think you won’t argue with me that most will say: “lobster tastes better than chicken.” I thought so too, until I went on my first all-inclusive cruise about 10 years ago, where you could order unlimited lobster. And, of course, who would eat chicken when you can order a grilled lobster tail? In general, by the end of the trip I realized that I was tired of him and the moment came when they offered me lobster and chicken, and I chose chicken. Chicken meat is no better or worse in taste. It's different. And we like lobster because its meat is less accessible, therefore more expensive, and therefore, in general, people eat it less often than chicken meat. We always want what we don't have.

So, we all want something, we try, we make efforts, we spend time on it, that is, our lives, but the feeling of satisfaction is very short-lived or there is none at all.

Why is that? Have you thought about this?

Joseph Campbell said of this situation: “It’s like getting to the top of a ladder and finding it’s leaning against the wrong wall.” But in fact, we do not know how to rejoice and live in the moment. We weren't taught this. We were told that everything needs to be done in order for us to feel good tomorrow. Study, work, work, study, eat right, exercise, etc. But we were not taught to enjoy the present moment. But this is precisely what life is. It is this present second that is your life and my life. That last second is already the past, and the one that is still ahead, it has not yet come, is the future.

We look at examples of people who have achieved everything that we think can make us happy - such as famous politicians, stars, or just rich people we know. We do not live completely in the present and perceive our lives as some kind of preparation for a better future. We feel that something needs to change: we want to look different, have more money, power, status or fame, want to find a different partner.

And it is understandable. We were always taught to look up to someone: an older brother who can already read, but you can’t, a more successful classmate who graduated from school with a red medal, but you can’t. For a classmate who has already bought a car, but you haven’t, for a friend who has already gotten married, but you haven’t, etc., etc.

Did our parents tell us: “My dear son or daughter, it is very important for you in life to learn to live and be happy at the present moment in life”? Did they teach you this at school? I wasn't taught either.

You see, such an obsession with all kinds of linear aspirations is very characteristic of us humans, both at the individual level and for the entire, I would say, our civilization as a whole. This is the pursuit of a mirage of happiness , which is always thought of as something located somewhere in the future.

This is a model of constant insatiability, in no way dependent on our specific achievements.

And maybe it was my surprise, which I experienced and remembered at the age of 10, that made me study the question of why this happens, or maybe it was just a desire to know human nature, but let me share some thoughts.

There are a lot of different theories on this topic.

Ervin Laszlo says that satisfaction does not come because we constantly expect to receive something from our goal that it cannot give. He explains this by the fact that such an attitude towards life is closely related to the presence in our unconscious of an unfinished gestalt - the trauma of biological birth. Although we managed to be born into this world, we never truly grasped the fact that we managed to get rid of the stranglehold of the constricting birth canal.

The memory of this still lives in our brain. This knowledge imprinted into us subsequently plays the role of a stencil through which we see the world and our place in it. Like a baby struggling in the grip of the birth canal, we cannot enjoy the present situation and look for a solution in the future. It always seems to us that it is somewhere ahead.

Existentialists call this life strategy “autoprojection”: we imagine ourselves in some better situation in the future than now and begin to pursue this mirage. This strategy is a losing strategy, whether we achieve a specific goal or not, because it never brings us what we expect from it. It leads to an inauthentic way of existence, unable to provide true satisfaction in existence, which is sometimes called the “rat race” or “assembly line.” Especially if these innate bugs of ours are fueled by the principles of the consumer society in which we live and which actually drives us into these races.

Erich Frome's thoughts on this topic in his work “To Be or to Have” are interesting. He says that our society has gone down the wrong path because in our culture it is customary to judge a person by what he has. Everyone has probably heard the saying: “ if you are so smart, then why are you so poor?” "

That is, our consumer society is built precisely on this paradigm: tell us what you have, and we will tell you who you are. But this is a road to nowhere. In old age, we may be disappointed to discover that we have a lot of things, but we are nothing. Life has passed like one day in pursuit of a mirage, and it seems like a lot of things belong to you, but you can’t take anything with you. But there is no feeling that life was not lived in vain.

And those who understood this before they reached the end of their lives are called heroes by us, the people. For the Jews it is Moses. He was a prince, could have had everything, but he gave it all up and went into the desert. The Hindus had Buddha, he was also a prince, had all the joys of life and early realized that this was a dead end. He went into the desert and proclaimed some principles that billions of people follow today. He said: “it is neither wealth nor power that makes a man a slave, but only his attachment to wealth and power.”

A little later, Jesus voiced these same principles in his Sermon on the Mount. He said: “What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul?”

These are heroes. Their names went down in history. Do you think it's just like that? They did something that each of us internally agrees with, but is not capable of doing. This is the definition of a hero: someone who has done what others cannot.

And, of course, I do not urge you to relax, give up on all your goals, go to a monastery and do nothing.

You can set different goals: finish school and university, find a good job, buy an apartment, start a family, etc. and achieve them.

But you must clearly understand that having achieved any of your goals, you will not receive the satisfaction you were waiting for, and if you do get it, it will quickly go away only because we are people, and that’s how we are designed.

This is not my opinion. Much smarter and more authoritative people said this. For example, Solomon. Some consider him the richest and smartest man of his time. And more than 4000 years ago he said: “I have seen all the works that are done under the sun, and behold, everything is vanity and vexation of spirit.”

“Well, okay,” the patient reader who has reached this point will say, “what then brings satisfaction?” And this is a very good question.

And, if you think about it, then this is already great progress. So, we are running this blog.

After all, most people are absolutely sure that they will be happy if they have an orange Bentley convertible, a luxurious house on the seashore and so much money that they no longer need to work.

You ask your friends what their ideal life is, and most of them, without hesitation, will tell you: “this is when you don’t have to work, but can lie on the beach and drink a Mojito.” But you don’t need to have a rich imagination to understand that such a life will be torture in just a couple of months.

Just imagine: drinking Mojito all day (smoking weed, snorting coke) and lying on the beach - the next day a terrible headache is guaranteed. Well, a week, or two, or a month, it will be cool, but you can’t live like this forever. And life won’t be long if you drink every day. After six months of such a life, any person turns into a vegetable.

So why does everyone dream of such a life?

So what then brings pleasure? Everyone may have different opinions on this matter, but I found three things for myself.

This is to live, study yourself and do what brings you into rapturous harmony. On the first point, everything is simple: learn to appreciate every moment of your short life. After all, the truly pleasant things that never get boring are ordinary things. You will never get tired of eating, drinking, sleeping and having sex. This may sound primitive, but in a biological sense this is what we call living.

I concluded for myself that it doesn’t matter who you work for, how much money or power you have, if you haven’t learned or can’t allow yourself to stop in the bustle of your life and enjoy a meal at least several times a day, without grabbing it on the run. whatever you find and quickly stuff it into your mouth, but leisurely eat everything you want, enjoy chewing every piece, then why do you need this money? You still won't understand the thrill of life.

Next is the study of ourselves and the universe of which we are all a part. I won’t say much here, since almost all episodes on this channel are devoted to this topic. I will only say that studying the world in which we live, in my opinion, is the most interesting activity that you can do throughout your life and more than one. Try it, you won't regret it. I talked about where to start in the last issue, in which I looked at the meaning of the concept of “self-development” and ways to take the path of self-development.

Well, the last thing is to do it. Do what you like . Something that excites you. Something you would do even if you weren't paid for it. And, of course, for this you need to know yourself.

Study yourself and find such things. If all that comes to mind is the beach, mojitos and a lot of girls, then I already said this above. It won't work. I'll get tired of it in a couple of months. Verified.

I can give you a hint. It’s very easy to come into rapturous harmony when you see that someone’s life is changing for the better thanks to your activities.

Here someone might say: “Well, in America you can do what you like, but you don’t know how difficult my life is. I can barely make ends meet, I don’t have time for my favorite activity.” I have nothing to argue with a person who doesn’t know that 5.5 billion people, that is, 70% of the world’s population, live on less than $10 a day, and they would gladly trade places with him.

I will speak for myself, I work just like everyone else, but I organize my life in such a way that I find time for what brings me into rapturous harmony, namely, to take a pen and write this text, which I will then use to record an issue, in order to who is not looking for excuses, but is ready to pull himself together and do everything to live a life in which he will find time to live.

If you liked the episode, you know what to do, well, I’ll bore the listener with these hackneyed phrases. And also, if you know someone who would like this information to help make their life better, then share this material with them, thereby you will make your contribution to making our world in which we live better.

Dr. Michael Svoboda was with you.

Live brightly, friends!

Talk to more than just your cat

Your pet can be a great conversationalist and a great companion for watching The Bachelors.
We have no doubt about it! But he has no chance to contribute to your personal growth. If you are interested in a new field or industry, try to discuss it with someone. Take advantage of their knowledge, perspective and advice. If you ask the right questions, people will be happy to tell you how they achieved their goal or navigated the path of life.

Instead of jumping into a new career or launching another "Blow Your Mind" blog, talk to someone about the viability of your idea.

Take care of yourself.

Negative emotions, stress, and constant worries only aggravate the difficult situation. In order to find solutions and understand how to live further, you need to have not only psychological, but also physical health. A habitual daily routine, adequate sleep, a balanced diet, and a daily walk in the fresh air help improve the general condition of the body. And the better a person feels, the higher the likelihood that he will cope with any problems.

Take the test: Self-Esteem Scale

Go meet like-minded people

If you have a specific area of interest, a desire to take a new path, or a need for a different job, then start communicating with people who are doing what you are striving for.
The easiest way to meet representatives of the industry that interests you is to attend specialized events. People belonging to any industry or field have groups created to network and discuss professional issues.

Writers meet. Bloggers hold meetings. Freelancers communicate with each other (even if they do it online). Restaurateurs meet. Hey, even morgue owners and insurance adjusters have their own conventions! Grab a friend and go to one of these events to meet new people and learn something about the industry.

What happens if…?

According to the doctor, if a person ignores or hides his depressive state from others, trying to live as before, this can have the most severe consequences: personal degradation in professional and family terms, the emergence of addiction to alcohol and drugs, the emergence of suicidal thoughts and attempts to commit suicide.

Photo: © kinopoisk.ru

You can support and, perhaps, alleviate a depressed person’s condition by simply participating in his life. You just need to not ignore his feelings, showing that you understand his problems and accept the person as such.

“You support and encourage a person’s desire to share their emotions and thoughts. Instead of abstract phrases, offer concrete actions. For example, instead of “Call if you need anything,” it’s better to say, “When you get ready to see the doctor, call me, I’ll take you,” the psychologist instructs.

How to get rid of apathy

Seek advice from a psychiatrist or neurologist . You can start with any of the specialists, since the causes of apathy, as mentioned above, can be different - you need to use the method of elimination.
You may need to have blood tests or brain scans (as directed by your doctor).
Adjust your lifestyle - devote a lot of time to sleep (best on a schedule, observing sleep hygiene), eat right, try to avoid overwork.
See a psychologist for psychotherapy to learn to better understand your values and goals, take responsibility and experience less stress and cope better with it.
Take therapy prescribed by your doctor for mental disorders or infectious diseases (most likely, these will be antidepressants or antiviral drugs and antibiotics).

If you feel strong apathy, it is important not to give in to it, but to make a list of activities that you, albeit not now, but once liked, and do something from this list every day for at least 5-10 minutes. This is called behavioral activation. It is useful to celebrate your successes (for example, today you went for a walk for 10 minutes).

Aphorisms for the occasion - for the sake of thought

The beauty of aphorisms is that each person interprets them in his own way. I offer you several popular sayings of great people about the meaning of life. Perhaps this will be a “magic kick” for you. Well, take a little break from the previous “overload”.

A. Ananyev: “The goal of life cannot consist only of the promised eternal bliss; the golden gates of heaven awaiting us, to which only we should turn our thoughts and deeds, is wonderful; but there is, that is, there must certainly be something else... that brings satisfaction not in the mythical future, but today, here on earth. The purpose of life is the desire for immortality (even just name); The meaning of life is the choice of path (and actions) to achieve a goal.”
Aristotle: “What is the meaning of life? Serve others and do good. Every person individually and everyone together has, one might say, a certain goal, in pursuit of which they choose one thing and avoid another... Happiness is the goal of life.”
V. Belinsky: “Without a goal there is no activity, without interests there is no goal, and without activity there is no life.”
W. James: “Believe in the fact that there is something to live for, and your faith will help this fact come true.”
P. Coelho: “Life is a mystery that you must be able to accept and not torment yourself with the constant question: “What is the meaning of my life?” It’s better to fill your life with meaning and things that are important to you.”
B. Pascal: “The past and present are our means, only the future is our goal.”
P. Tkachev: “The life goal of each individual is to preserve and maintain his individuality.”
T. Wilder: “Life has no other meaning than the one we give it.”
O. Wilde: “The purpose of life is self-expression. To manifest our essence in its entirety - that’s what we live for.”

Idealism and exhaustion. Learning to rest correctly

If you are still at the stage of idealism and excess or exhaustion, the first thing you need to do is take care of rest. It must be sufficient (quantity) and effective (quality). Let's take a dream. You need to sleep 7–8 hours a day - it's about quantity. You need to sleep in silence and darkness - this is about quality. A signal that you are doing everything right - it’s easy to get up in the morning at the first alarm signal, or you even wake up without it.

Once you've secured healthy sleep and freed up your evenings and weekends, start incorporating some light support tools into your routine. These tools will reduce your exposure to work stress.

Step 1: Define work boundaries—and write them down

Draw up a written (oral, but a letter is more effective) agreement with you, similar to the one that the employer enters into with the employee. In it, write down the conditions under which you are willing to work, how much time and effort you are willing to invest in the work. And also - what would be a violation of the terms of the contract, what you definitely do not agree to do for the sake of work. For example, working late, missing birthdays of loved ones, answering work messages on weekends. Add any details that seem important to you. Save the contract, monitor how you follow it, and re-read it periodically to refresh your memory of the rules.

Step 2: Create routines that will keep you going throughout the day.

Rituals reduce anxiety and increase our productivity at work. In the morning you can meditate and do a mini workout. During the day, take a long break for lunch and go to a cafe with colleagues or friends, a new one each time. Or take short 15-minute breaks, and during them dance, do breathing exercises, or just lie in the dark if you are tired of communication and movement. And to relax before bed, take a shower and read a good novel.

There are two rules. The first is regularity

: Routines should become so familiar that you do them without thinking.
Secondly, giving up smartphones
: they make rest ineffective, in particular, they impair concentration and increase stress. The exception is if you meditate or breathe using an app.

Which rituals to choose?

Take the Wellbeing Index test to determine the ones you need most. It will show you which areas of your life need the most attention right now: nutrition, physical activity, stress/emotions, time/focus, sleep and balance.

Step 3. Choose the right type of holiday

Vacations should always be completely relaxing

or be
as contrasting as possible
with your everyday activities. Complete relaxation is the format of a sanatorium, when the maximum effort you need to make is to get to a place where others will do the rest for you. It should be a safe and comfortable space. And the less novelty (even news) and the need to make decisions, the better. Examples: flotation tank, massage, meditation, yoga, spending the day in bed, progressive muscle relaxation, spending a day in nature swinging in a hammock and having a picnic. Just 8 hours of sleep will do.

The maximum contrast with what you do on weekdays can also be created with simple actions. If you spend all day with people, limit social activity and go for a walk in a park or forest alone. Conversely, if you work at home all day on a computer, your ideal relaxation is a rich social environment. And if you are a leader, accustomed to going forward and leading others, go to training, where the coach will tell you what to do and how to do it.

An alternative is to choose rest that stimulates oxytocin

or
adrenaline with dopamine
. The body produces oxytocin through support, care, touch, or the simple presence of other people. All this gives us a feeling of deep connection - “we are together.” If you want to feel the effects of oxytocin, look your loved one in the eyes. You will feel relaxed and protected. Oxytocin-filled rest is best for those who gain resources from caring for others. Suitable activities: have a heart-to-heart talk with loved ones and hug with them, go for a massage and SPA treatments.

There are people for whom effective protection against burnout is adrenaline plus dopamine: new experiences, moving forward every day. Almost all startup founders are like this. Three days without changes seems like stagnation to them, and when the project becomes stable, they are more tired than when they first started the business - even if objectively there are fewer problems. If this sounds like you, it's important to remember that the adrenaline and dopamine rush needs to be triggered in an environmentally friendly manner, not through gaming or watching porn. Anything that forces you to get out of your comfort zone, excites and inspires you will come in handy: learning a new language or mastering new skills, preferably complex ones, visiting new places, meeting new people with experiences and views that are different from yours.

Step 4. Devote half an hour a day to something that makes you feel happy and full of life.

As a rule, these are very simple things that we tend to put off until later, giving preference to more rational and urgent matters or procrastination. To remember them, think about what is important to you to do in life outside of work. What did you dream about at school, university and before burnout, when you had more strength? What would you like to remember on your centenary? Perhaps the answers will lead you to deeper relationships with family or loved ones. Or to a new activity that has nothing to do with work. Or maybe - to understand what the meaning and value of your current work is for you.

Add to these four tools basic body care: regular exercise and comfortable eating. If after this the condition has improved, you can not reduce the pace of work. But don’t forget: rest and self-care are as important as taking medications prescribed by your doctor. Neglecting them is like running towards a severe burnout.

How to combine productive work with self-care?

The answer is simple, but difficult to execute - to design your lifestyle correctly. Deva.School personal mentors will help you with this.

First, you and your mentor analyze your current habits.
Then you discuss your personal goals. Maybe you want to get more done. Or finally start exercising regularly and eating healthy. Or perhaps both at once.
The mentor draws up a simple plan, you act according to the plan and mark your progress in the telegram bot.
Once a week, you call your mentor to review the past week and set goals for the next. It's much easier and faster to change your habits to healthier ones than going it alone - and to stick to them.

Set a goal.

An important step in finding the answer to the question of how to live next is setting goals. They should not be abstract, visionary or vague. Memories of dreams that have been shelved for an indefinite period of time can help to identify and formulate them. It is dreams that at a turning point can become specific and real goals that need to be achieved here and now, and not in the distant future.

It is important to write down goals on a piece of paper, determining the priority, as well as the approximate time frame for achievement. The “last letter” technique will help you gather your thoughts. Its meaning is for a person to imagine that he will die tomorrow, and write in the last letter everything that he so wanted to accomplish before the fateful moment. This helps you concentrate, abstracting from pressure factors.

Take the self-esteem test

Praise yourself

In Abraham Maslow's pyramid of needs in A Theory of Human Motivation, one of the top tiers is the need for respect and recognition. For a person to feel good, it is very important to know that he is valued and that his deeds are important and meaningful. From school, if not from kindergarten, we get used to expecting praise from other people, and not from ourselves.

And we consider achievements only what can be measured, evaluated and presented to others - a promotion at work, buying a car, receiving a diploma. But many, at first glance, small steps that make up our path to great success remain unnoticed.

John Croft, an ecologist who spent many years studying the life and philosophy of the Australian Aborigines, together with his colleagues came up with Dragon dreaming - a method of planning personal and corporate projects. He believes that there should be four processes in life - dreaming, planning, doing and celebrating. And without the last thing - celebration - the cycle remains incomplete, we do not feel pleasure and recognition.

Any steps - even those that seem tiny to us - are worth celebrating, not devaluing.

Preparing a delicious and balanced lunch may seem like a piece of cake at first glance. But if you take a closer look, this is one of the elements that makes up the health of the whole family. Half a page of text might seem like very little, but at this rate you can write a whole book in a year.

For those who are tired, confused and unsure of themselves, it is especially important to celebrate achievements - both big and small, everyday. As an option, keep a success diary and write down at least five things every day for which you can praise yourself. Even what we are used to not noticing is counted - routine household chores and work tasks.

This practice will help you feel important and find a source of recognition and praise within yourself, rather than expecting it from other people. And of course, no one is stopping you from pampering yourself with entertainment and pleasant purchases, or making it a rule to regularly celebrate successes with your family or friends.

Believe in yourself