Nobody likes irritable and angry people. Especially during the period of exacerbation: when they explode, scream and get nervous. They say that such a character. But we are all far from perfect! And if you avoid interacting with someone because of their explosive traits, then perhaps others are avoiding you for the same reasons.
Everyone has a tendency to show aggression and anger towards others to one degree or another. This can happen spontaneously or as a result of your emotions overflowing. Perhaps in some situation you couldn’t resist, releasing all the accumulated negativity into the world. You will feel better for a while. But later, those people who were lucky enough to witness your outburst will perceive you as an irritable person. How to deal with irritability and anger? How to get rid of resentment, internal aggression and anger towards a person?
What is anger?
Anger is an emotional state expressed by feelings of irritation towards oneself or another person. From a physiological point of view, this is a normal protective mechanism. This emotion shows us our dissatisfaction, unjustified expectations.
At the moment of anger, a person often loses control of himself, can say nasty things to his interlocutor and then regret them. In order not to commit rash acts, it is important to assess your condition in time.
Summary
Anger is a natural emotion that is common to absolutely everyone. There is no need to be ashamed of it, much less turn a blind eye to your negative state, otherwise the body literally risks getting sick. There can be many reasons for irritation, so it is important to start with the prevention of anger: do not pay attention to the little things and avoid situations that can make you angry.
How to stop getting angry over trifles? It's simple: learn to separate the serious from the frivolous. Ask yourself if the situation is worth your nerves and are you willing to put your health on the scale for the sake of a few minutes of anger?
In any case, no matter what makes you angry, you need to be able to react to your emotions in a timely manner and direct them in the right direction. Play sports, take a walk in the park, pick up paints and start creating. Let your energy become a driving force for you, not a destructive one.
We wish you peace of mind!
Yes, be sure to share your experience with us:
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Key words:1Psychoregulation
Cause of anger
A person is constantly in society. He has to communicate a lot with different people. Everyone has different views on life. Sometimes it can be difficult to listen to a persuasive speech about an issue on which you have a completely different opinion. Is it worth getting into a fight? Can you convince a person otherwise?
Sometimes we get annoyed by people's behavior that we consider wrong. Our upbringing may be very different. We consider it inappropriate to behave the way we imagine. For example, we are offended by our husband because he forgot to fulfill our request.
Anger arises from feelings of envy. We compare our health, abilities, appearance, material acquisitions with other people. This constant comparison and acute desire to possess what is not available to you causes anger and irritation.
Smile!
Even when you want to destroy everything around you, just start smiling. Everything is simple here, we are used to smiling at the moment when everything is fine, when we are happy or simply in a good mood. Even if you start smiling through force, it will quickly and painlessly change your negative state to a positive one. Scientists have proven that laughter and smiling help you cope with problems faster, as well as solve serious problems and achieve big goals. Give a smile to those around you, and it will come back to you more than once.
How to calm down and stop getting angry?
Analyze the situation
When a feeling of anger comes over you, you need to sort out the problem that has affected you. As a rule, it is not the person who provoked your anger. The problem lies somewhat deeper.
Some people even have to consult a psychologist to understand the reason causing negative emotions.
Psychologists advise:
- During an attack of anger, you need to identify the angry feelings that you feel: rage, rage, hatred, resistance, hysteria, anxiety, contempt, indignation, resentment, vulnerability, annoyance, envy, hostility, indignation, disgust.
- Awareness of feelings leads to control. What does it mean? What we do not understand and are not aware of controls us. We are designed in such a way that we feel first and think later. Our negative feelings are unmet needs!
- At this stage, it is important not only to understand what needs you have that are not met. Vital ones or those that you can do without. Analyze your problems. Learn from an angry situation You may need to change your goals in life. Direct your energy not towards anger, but towards achieving your dreams.
Counting to 100
This method is considered too banal. But that's not true. Counting to 100 provides an opportunity to distract yourself and clear your thoughts. It is important to take slow and deep breaths. Don't rush to finish the count, even if your ardor has slowed down a little. Do the exercise to the end. This is a great way to calm down and get back to normal.
Put yourself in someone else's shoes
You are irritated by other people's actions. For example, someone parked a car on the lawn. This is unpleasant for you and you start to get angry.
How to calm yourself down and stop getting angry? Think about the situation. Have you ever parked incorrectly? Perhaps you were in a hurry and there was no free parking space. In such a situation, remember the wonderful saying: “don’t judge your neighbor until you find yourself in his place.”
Water treatments
Water has unique properties for our body. In a warm bath or under a contrast shower, in a pool we are filled with the energy of water. There is a powerful stimulation of the nervous system by influencing the sensory receptors of our body.
Our evil fire has been extinguished. We calm down, and the angry feeling fades into the background. Water procedures allow you to achieve spiritual harmony.
When a person loses 2% of his body weight in water, he becomes very thirsty. If there is a shortage of 10%, people begin to hallucinate. Losing 12%, a person will not be able to recover without the help of a doctor. At a loss of 20% people die.
Get busy
Any work activity will help you take your mind off evil thoughts. It may be difficult for you to concentrate on your direct work when you are angry.
At this time, it is better to work physically rather than mentally. Clean up your desk and sort out the papers in your nightstand. If you are at home, do some cleaning, ironing or replanting flowers. Don't forget to turn on some nice music. All evil energy will dissolve and a positive attitude will come to you.
Letting out emotions
I’ll say right away that the word “calm down” does not work. Especially when it is said at the peak of emotions. Yes, you can calm down long and hard, suppress anger, but then something will be the last straw. And now before us is no longer just an angry person, but an enraged one. So, if you understand that emotions have accumulated, then they need to be brought out. How to do this without causing harm (mental and physical) to yourself and others?
PS The methods have been personally tested. Their essence is the same - to reduce the jumping level of hormones.
- Hit the pillow.
- Tear up the newspaper.
- Scream. Not at someone, but into the emptiness of an endless field and forest. Release your anger.
- Clench and unclench your fists.
- Do push-ups, run, walk.
- Take a deep breath and hold your breath.
- Meditate, do auto-training, master self-regulation techniques.
- Draw.
- Dance.
- Clean up your house.
- Write your emotions, complaints, describe your condition. You can break a pen or pencil (from the force of pressure), but you must express all the pain on paper. It's good if the letter has an addressee. After this, burn the sheet.
- Draw. Any strokes, lines. Create something completely chaotic on the sheet, cross it out. Don't control the pressure. Now look. This is your anger. This black (blue) shapeless (or shaped) spot is your anger. It sits in you. What is this lump of? Grievances? Emptiness? What can this be replaced with or filled in with?
Akin to the advice to calm down is the option of counting to 10. Of course, it helps some, but more often it gives time to accelerate before the flash. Taking a deep breath is a more effective idea. The brain will be saturated with oxygen, the balance of hormones will quickly change, and you will be able to take a sober look at the situation.
“I was choking with anger and hatred. I didn’t hate society—an abstraction invented by worthless sociologists—I hated the entire universe. I wanted to hurt her in revenge for the pain caused to me,” A. Murdoch.
Happiness is in work
Absolutely every person wants to live in peace and harmony. And in order to live happily, you need to look for happiness in the right direction. You must realize that luck is a job you love, a healthy family and yourself. The simplest example is this: in the pursuit of wealth, a person loses family, friends, and ultimately achieves his goal, but remains completely unhappy. Of course, everyone has their own concept of happiness. Only you can give the correct answer to yourself. Don’t try to prove anything to anyone, live and think that you are already happy, thanks to this the world around you will be built accordingly, and there will be no place for anger in your life.
Forms of manifestation of the disease
Attacks of aggression can manifest themselves in:
- physical fitness (assault),
- verbal form (shouting and swearing),
- hidden version (nurturing ideas of jealousy, hatred, etc.).
Aggression can be direct and indirect, as well as obvious and hidden, without cause. Listed here are just some of the main manifestations of this condition. Outstanding scientific psychologists and psychiatrists have created voluminous classifications that take into account many of the subtleties of this sociopathological process.
Aggression in men (somewhat less often in women) can have benign traits that are embodied in professional activities. People with such behavior are characterized by courage, bravery, courage. A malignant manifestation of the disorder is rudeness, cruelty, callousness, arrogance, and a tendency to violent ideas and actions.
The most often negative-aggressive type of behavior is characteristic of children and adolescents. With age, it goes away, being replaced by productive and purposeful types of mental personality traits. Self-affirmation and a kind of defensive version of aggressive behavior may well manifest itself in cruel and even sadistic behavior in children. This variant of pathology requires mandatory therapy. Some people themselves notice the destructive nature of periodic attacks and try to get rid of this deficiency on their own. In such cases, they often resort to the help of specialists - psychologists or psychiatrists.
What to do if you encounter a person during an outburst of aggression
If you are faced with inadequacy, then you should adhere to simple rules:
- Do not enter into any disputes with the aggressor.
- Speak to him in a friendly, quiet and reassuring manner.
- Maintain a calm appearance, do not shout, do not run, do not turn your back to him.
- Try not to let such a person get close.
- At the first opportunity, try to leave (run away), or call other people for help.
Have you noticed that you or someone close to you is beginning to experience attacks of aggression? Remember that the sooner you seek help, the less time it will take to correct your behavior. Call and sign up for a consultation - we will definitely help you!
Symptoms of stress
Each person reacts to stress differently. What all reactions have in common is a negative impact on the psyche and physical state. The person becomes aggressive and his mood worsens. It happens that stress also causes other reactions - silence, detachment, passivity and isolation. It all depends on the type of temperament.
Typical signs of stress are:
- inability to concentrate on any one type of activity;
- causeless attacks of irritability, anger, dissatisfaction with others;
- lethargy and weakness, depression;
- insomnia, nightmares;
- inability to completely relax and unwind;
- panic attacks, constant feeling of fear;
- desire to cry, melancholy;
- lack of trust in yourself and the people around you;
- lack of appetite or, conversely, the desire to eat a lot;
- sudden appearance of bright and strong emotions (for example, laughter, which quickly gives way to tears and vice versa);
- increased sweating, excitability, itchy skin and headache;
- dizziness, rapid breathing;
- numbness of the limbs;
- nervous tics, desire to bite nails or lips;
- interest in alcohol or drugs;
- chronic fatigue that does not disappear even after a night's rest.
Ways to deal with stress
In any stressful situation, it is very important not to lose composure and control. You can cope with surging emotions with the help of such actions.
- Sit down and relax. It is important to ask yourself how important the problem is at the moment and how its solution (or lack of solution) will affect the near future (a few months, a year or five years). This will help you understand the importance of anxiety.
- Write down on paper individual words or phrases that come to mind during stress. This will be a bit of a distraction. You can read these phrases the next day and understand how significant stressful events are.
- Run your index finger horizontally across your lips. This technique calms well and quickly.
- Tighten all your muscles, clench your fists and grit your teeth for 10 seconds. This will help you feel how your body switches and how relaxation comes
- Try any classic relaxation methods. This could be a walk, a warm bath, herbal tea, a bar of chocolate, a hobby, or chatting with friends. Perhaps this is what will help you relax.
- Try to turn a negative into a positive. The most important thing is not to let stress take over.
- Stop overwhelming stress and negative thoughts. To do this, you can simply clap your palms.
- You can’t turn off your phone or ignore the attention of loved ones and friends. Even the thought of hiding from others should be avoided in every possible way. Live communication is the best medicine against stress. On the contrary, you should not isolate yourself: this will only aggravate the situation.
Recommended techniques for dealing with stress are simple. If you contact them for several days after a difficult situation, they will definitely help. Even one of the suggested techniques will help cope with a difficult situation.
By learning to control stress, you can reduce the risks of developing depression, bronchial asthma, heart and vascular diseases, gastritis and obesity. For this you need very little. Even small lifestyle changes will improve your condition and reduce the negative effects of stress.
As a rapid diagnostic method, the Reader scale for self-assessment of stress levels can be recommended.
