All people can be roughly divided into categories according to temperament, character, and attitude towards the world around them. Philanthropists will always come to the aid of their neighbors. In contrast, there are people who hate others. To learn to coexist with such individuals, you should have an idea of who a misanthrope is.
Alienation from people
What is the essence of this concept
Many terms in psychology are of Greek origin. To understand what the word misanthrope means, it is enough to delve into the translation. “Mez” (μῖσος) means hatred, “apropos” (ἄνθρωπος) means “man”. When combined, the word sounds misanthropic.
Negative attitudes don't just apply to specific people. A misanthrope is a person who shows disdain for society as a whole, despising its principles, which forces the individual to seek solitude.
People are not born with such an attitude towards the world - it is a trait acquired throughout life. Misanthropy can manifest itself partially as dislike for a certain category of people: men, women, children. Some individuals are disgusted with themselves as a representative of the human race.
People who avoid society enjoy their loneliness and the hatred they express, or, conversely, suffer. Misanthropy is not a lifelong stigma. If desired, a person can reconsider his views on society and accept it as it is.
Experience
Very often a person who does not trust people has every reason to do so. He was simply betrayed and let down often. And often not only acquaintances, but also those whom he considered closest and dearest. This almost always causes permanent injury. Trust is undermined in all people, and it becomes problematic to demonstrate it in interpersonal relationships with other individuals.
The same goes for betrayal. It is difficult for a person who has been cheated on (perhaps more than once) to build relationships, to love, to believe in the sincerity of reciprocal feelings and to trust. In such cases, it is difficult to forget about the experience, but it is recommended. To help yourself, you need to understand: many people from the past truly did not deserve even a first chance. But there is no need to deprive others of it. Not all people are the same.
How do misanthropes differ from sociopaths?
Phlegmatic - who is he, brief description
Some people equate both concepts because the types are based on hatred. If a misanthrope fences himself off from people, thereby showing his hostility, then the behavior of a sociopath manifests itself in aggression towards others, in the desire to cause pain, ignoring all social norms.
Thieves, rapists and murderers suffer from sociopathy. They have to some extent the traits of a misanthrope. But this does not mean that the opposite assumption will be true. When a person considers himself to be a hater of people, it does not mean that he will become a sociopath capable of robbing, raping and killing.
The main signs of misanthropy
Optimist - who is he?
If a person who loves his own kind always feels a desire to help, then a misanthrope is an individual who will simply disdainfully step aside (“wash his hands”), leaving his neighbor to suffer alone.
To understand what misanthropy is, it’s worth observing the behavior of a misanthrope:
- the individual does not hide his hostility towards society as a whole;
- shows disgust towards individual representatives, considering them imperfect creatures;
- tries to isolate himself from people;
- does not like to be in a crowd or sit next to someone;
Misanthrope in life
- avoids any communication.
This behavior may be partial. A misanthrope, by definition, is not always a loner. He has a small social circle of “trusted” people. To get on this list, you will have to go through a careful selection process. The criterion for admission to the “club” should be the absence of shortcomings or a minimum number of them (from the point of view of a misanthrope).
Note! A person who hates people can behave appropriately in a work environment and even move up the career ladder. But this does not prevent him from showing his disdain and contempt for his colleagues.
Often such individuals have normal relationships with their relatives. They are even capable of loving some family members. A nervous, sharp reaction usually manifests itself in contact with strangers. A misanthrope is always a person who protests against the foundations, rules and norms of society, despite the fact that he exists in it.
Everything comes from childhood
According to Erikson's theory, trust (or lack thereof) is formed in a person from an early age. The child learns everything gradually, including trust. He waits for the people who care for him (parents) to feed him, play with him, and read him a bedtime story. He feels safe next to them, as they provide the conditions necessary for comfort.
But if a child is often disappointed (they didn’t buy the promised toy, didn’t give him dessert after eating soup, didn’t allow him to go for a walk after homework), then he develops distrust. And then it manifests itself throughout life. So, on the one hand, the degree of development of a sense of trust depends on the amount of care received, through which a sense of stability and permanence is conveyed.
Is this a disease or a natural condition?
Kinesthetic - what kind of person is this?
Some people wonder who this misanthrope is - an eccentric offended by fate or a sick person? If sociopathy is a mental personality disorder (i.e. a disease), then hatred of people without overt aggression is a character trait.
Sociopath in action
For some, this state of mind has become the meaning of life, transformed into a certain philosophy. They remain misanthropes until death. There are also those who half suffer from this property.
Typically, such behavior is characteristic of teenagers who prefer to rebel against society. For adolescence, this is a completely natural attitude towards the world around us. Over time, views change, and often misanthropes are “retrained” as philanthropists.
Note! A deep form of hostility can develop into a fear of people, this is already a phobia. It is classified as a mental illness.
Mental problems
A person who does not trust people often tests them. Many people suffering from depression think that they are being watched. This becomes the reason why they are overcome by fear and suspicion. Often exaggerated or unfounded mistrust is a symptom of depression.
People who are in the early stages of alcoholism also become very suspicious. Elderly people, due to their age, also begin to show distrust. Because of suspicion, they hide things and money, complain about poor care, and constantly double-check everything.
Causes of misanthropy
Having understood what the word misanthrope means, it’s time to ask the question of what influences the development of such personality traits. Character is formed under the influence of certain circumstances. They are also factors for the development of a specific worldview.
Society norms have been formed over centuries, and most people adhere to them. Misanthropes have a negative attitude towards the foundations, usually this manifests itself in verbal form. Such behavior must be based on special reasons that can cause hatred of others in the developing personality.
Hard childhood
Not everyone is lucky enough to grow up with love and affection. Feeling constant violence (in the family, on the street, at school), the child becomes embittered and begins to hate the whole world. He learns to trust only himself, making sure that those around him are capable of betrayal.
Hard childhood
The social unit in which the child’s psyche is formed influences character in different ways. A cruel attitude not only leads to the development of hatred, but also to the suppression of the individual. As a result, insecure individuals with low self-esteem and a bunch of internal complexes grow up. A striking example of such misanthropy is the always grumbling renegades.
Lack of education
There is another situation - there is harmony and trusting relationships in the family. But at some point the education program fails, and the teenager begins to perceive the world through the “prism of maximalism.” If you do not correct this attitude towards life in time (so to speak, “straighten your brain”), a certain stereotype of the imperfection of society will form in the mind, the norms of which make no sense to obey.
High intelligence
Giftedness is inherent in only a few, but it can turn a person into a misanthrope. If you measure those around you according to your developed intellect, you come to the understanding that the people around you are imperfect, and the genius is surrounded by dullards and mediocrities. Some talents, due to their love of humanity, treat ordinary people condescendingly. Others feel contempt and consider it beneath them to pay attention to them.
Special sensitivity of character
“Thick-skinned” people calmly go through life, not paying much attention to others. Individuals with a subtle nature are too impressionable and unstable to stress. This feature is inherent in romantics who look at the world through rose-colored glasses. The pursuit of ideals always ends in disappointment and leads to the fact that a person isolates himself from an imperfect society and indulges in dreams in solitude.
Hatred
Evil that we can neither overcome nor avoid, we hate.
Thomas Hobbes
When anger cannot break out and manifest itself in the form of open aggression, it turns into hatred and makes people experience various negative feelings mainly within themselves. You can hate many people for many reasons, and in the same way, many people can hate each of us, for one reason or another. We often block each other's path when we move towards our goals and thus create the preconditions for hatred. And then, some people may hate someone just out of envy, and not because something bad was done to them. So there are always enough reasons and you never know who might hate you and who you might hate at one point or another in your life. But despite the widespread nature of this rather strong feeling, and the many reasons for its occurrence, it cannot be ignored. You need to work with this feeling so that it does not take away your strength, does not exhaust you if you experience it, and does not create unnecessary enemies for you who have this feeling for you. In this article, we will talk about solving the problems that our or other people’s hatred can create for us, and we will also look in more detail at the reasons for its occurrence.
What is hatred
Hatred is latent aggression, that is, hidden to a large extent, which arises from a person’s anger towards someone he would like to harm, but cannot, mainly due to fear. Therefore, he experiences hostility and disgust towards the object of his hatred, but does not enter into open conflict with him. We can also say that this is a negative feeling that is a forced alternative to open hostility and aggression. To hate means to wish someone harm, in one form or another, but not have the opportunity to do it. You don’t like a person, no matter what the reason, but you can’t do anything to him, but you want to. And since it is not in your power to show aggression towards him, this aggression remains inside you, and you begin to quarrel with this person more in your imagination than in real life. Of course, this enmity is accompanied by stress, deprives a person of strength, forces him to think too much about who he hates, instead of spending more time and energy on things that are more useful to him. Therefore, hatred in this sense is a burdensome feeling, which is undesirable to experience unless absolutely necessary.
Why does hatred arise?
As we already know, in cases where people’s aggression cannot manifest itself, when their anger remains inside them, it turns into hatred. This is a superficial reason, common to different situations. More profound are other reasons related to our ability to interact with the people around us. This ability is developed differently in everyone; some of us are excellent at making enemies for ourselves, while others are good at making friends. People who are too conflicted will more often create conditions both for their own hatred of someone and for someone else’s hatred of themselves. But diplomatic people, I don’t say peace-loving, but diplomatic people, accordingly, will not create such conditions, or they will create them in much smaller quantities, in special, so to speak, cases. For hatred, some kind of conflict is needed, either external, when people butt heads in some matters, or internal, when a person cannot come to terms with the actions, position, achievements, views and beliefs of other people. When people do not know how to get along with each other, they will quarrel and hate each other. Or the same envy is precisely an internal conflict that causes hatred towards the one who is envied, because the envious person is not able to accept someone’s success, since he sees in it a certain damage for himself.
Hatred appears where there is some kind of confrontation between people, some kind of struggle. And it is present in many ways, because we are by nature aimed at struggle and competition. The world in general is structured in such a way that some people in it live at the expense of others, and this law of life alone gives rise to a lot of situations when someone feels deprived, insulted, offended, used, and so on, and sees the cause of these problems of theirs precisely in other people. And this is often a reasonable opinion. There are always winners and losers in this life. Of course, those who are losers or feel like losers often cannot come to terms with the fact that someone has surpassed them, outplayed them, defeated them, suppressed them, or used them. It makes them angry. And then there is a pattern already known to us, according to which, not being able to influence other people, to do something with them in revenge, because they are stronger, a person begins to hate them, experiencing hidden hostile feelings towards them.
From the above, we can conclude that a person’s limitations in the ways of achieving his goals and his inability to negotiate or, if necessary, more competently fight with other people leads him to a feeling of hatred, as the only feeling available to him, alternative to his open anger and aggression. After all, even if you have every reason to hate someone, you don’t have to do it at all; you can instead look for opportunities to either somehow outplay this person, defeat him, or somehow come to an agreement with him. Hatred is, in fact, a dead end, because it cuts off all these additional opportunities. Because of it, a person does not seek solutions to his problems with people; he prefers to be at enmity with them within himself. Thus, another reason people hate each other is their narrow-mindedness.
Another feeling of hatred can be a consequence of a person’s strong dissatisfaction with himself. This is a deeper reason that is not always obvious. Being unprepared for life, for its harsh laws, for the rules that exist in human society, a person does not get what he wants and needs, he is too weak to manage even his own life, not to mention the ability to influence others of people. But since admitting this is difficult and even dangerous, such thoughts can lead to severe depression, the person’s ego protects him from them, making him think that other people are so bad, evil, wrong, that the world is unfair to him, that’s why he has everything so bad. Such a person will hate many people because he is dissatisfied with himself and his life, but he cannot hate himself, because the ego does not allow him to do this, as a result, hatred spreads to others. In the most severe cases, such people turn into chronic haters who are so offended by life and so consider themselves weak and helpless [but do not admit this to themselves] that they hate almost everyone. They are furious with their own helplessness, blaming the people around them for their problems. So, hatred in this case, as strange as it may sound, saves a person’s personality, thanks to the ego, allowing him to appreciate and respect himself for the fact that he has not come to terms with his fate as a victim and has not even admitted his weakness and unsuitability for this life, but instead fights within himself with his many enemies, who, in his opinion, are to blame for all his failures. Another thing is that there is no sense in such hatred, but the psyche endures such a struggle more easily than the bitter truth about its own weakness.
Hatred can also arise from misunderstandings between people when they misinterpret each other's words and actions. Because of this, they may see hostility and aggression in things where there really isn't any. This is one of the most common reasons why people hate each other. The problem is further aggravated by the fact that sometimes not understanding each other, people do not even try to do this, since they do not even allow for the possibility that they might misunderstand someone. They believe in jumping to conclusions about other people's actions that arouse negative feelings in them and then give in to those feelings, which ultimately lead them to hate.
I'll say even more. Not understanding someone and therefore writing him down as an enemy, especially when you are initially negatively disposed towards a person for one reason or another, is always easier than trying to understand him. Because in one case, it’s enough just to give in to your feelings and let them rage inside you, and in the other, you need to strain your brains and think about what you see and hear. Understanding is a job that is not easy to do, but hatred is an easy path that anyone can take. But if you help a person understand everything, to understand the one he hates, then in this way you can weaken his feeling of hatred or completely dissolve it in common sense.
One cannot help but mention egoism, because of which people can cause harm to each other and thus create grounds for hatred. Selfish people, taking advantage of the opportunities that arise to them, begin to do too many things only for themselves, while depriving others of many things. But in this world you can’t do that if you don’t want to make enemies for yourself. Everyone wants to live as well as possible, so reasonable people take into account the interests of others, for their own sake, first of all, for the sake of their peace and comfort. Egoists whose egoism is unreasonable are too short-sighted; they row for themselves without thinking about the consequences. Well, take, for example, a person who has power, and therefore strength, which he can use to satisfy his needs and desires, without regard for other people. And they, these other people, suffer, are angry with such a person, but are afraid to speak out against him, so their anger, as mentioned above, remains inside them and becomes hatred. It would seem, what problems does someone have who is so hated by others, but cannot do anything to him? Well, a person is angry with you, wishes you harm, and okay, anyway, he is afraid to do something to you, because he is weaker than you. This means you can ignore his anger and hatred. No, it is not advisable to do this. Not everything is so simple in this world and ignoring other people’s self-hatred is a dangerous thing. You never know whose help, support or whose neutrality in some conflicts you may need in the future, but you will never get it if the person hates you. He will be glad to have the opportunity to harm you in some way because of his negative feelings, including by siding with your stronger enemy.
Deeper grievances and traumas, and therefore often unconscious by people, are another reason why people hate each other. Moreover, they often hate those who absolutely do not deserve such an attitude towards themselves. For example, in childhood a person was offended, humiliated, insulted, suppressed by his parents and because of this he grew up offended and embittered, and therefore he perceives any imaginary disrespect for himself, any careless actions on the part of other people as hostile and thus creates the ground for hatred. Such a person may hate his wife or husband not because she or he did something bad to him that deserves hatred, but because in childhood this person was often offended and all these insults, all the anger associated with them, objectively hinders him perceive reality. Here there is a transfer of old grievances to new people, on whom a person wants [usually because he can] throw out the aggression that has accumulated in him. But in the absence of the opportunity to do this, people may be stronger than him or he may be highly dependent on them; he, as we already know, shows aggression in the form of hatred, that is, within himself. And how much of all kinds of negativity accumulates in a person throughout life, without having the opportunity to either splash out or properly think about it, so as not to poison his soul and not cause unjustified or inappropriate aggression towards the people around him? So many. Psychologists constantly encounter such accumulated negativity in their work with people. Very often, such negativity originates at work, where a person can experience severe stress due to the attitude towards him from his superiors, who squeeze all the juice out of him for their own benefit. And the person then brings this negativity home, splashes it out on his family there, then from home the negativity further spreads to relatives, friends, casual acquaintances, and so on. This is how anger is passed from person to person and turns into someone’s hatred. Initially, such evil can appear in one place, at the same job, where a boss exploits a subordinate, and hatred then arises in another place, for example, in a child towards his father, who came home from work angry and took it out on him. The child cannot answer because he is weaker and because he depends on his father, so he begins to hate him, showing aggression towards the father within himself.
Hatred, like a sleeping volcano, lies dormant in a person until the time comes for it to break out in the form of open aggression towards the one he hates. And the trigger can be the weakening of the object of hatred or the acquisition of strength by the person who experiences this feeling, thanks to which he has the opportunity to make hidden aggression open. So, in particular, people take revenge on each other when, having gained strength, they get the opportunity to recall old grievances to the offender.
Separately, I would like to say about the hatred that arises in relationships between partners. This is the problem that we, psychologists, have to face most often. Men and women and women and men quite often live like cats and dogs. This is not abnormal unless their bickering turns into a very violent confrontation with each other, with a desire to cause serious harm to their partner. Because quarrels in the family are more likely an indicator that healthy, natural relationships prevail in it, which need a shake-up from time to time, and not an indicator that not everything is in order in this family. But hatred can accumulate for years. Often partners and spouses cannot come to an agreement with each other and this leads to enmity between them, which can also be of a latent [hidden] nature and cultivate hatred towards each other in their hearts, or it can be the hatred of one partner who considers himself especially disadvantaged towards another who occupies a stronger position in the relationship. That is, the weakness of one of the partners makes him feel hatred towards the person for whom he cannot do anything, so he is forced to endure him.
What is the most important thing about this problem? The most important thing, in my opinion, is a primitive approach to relationships, when people consider each other only if some force forces them to do so, and not because they respect each other. For example, the need for another person forces his partner to reckon with him. Instead of doing this out of love and respect for him, or at least out of a desire to have a stable, comfortable relationship. That is, the basis of such problems with hatred in relationships is a consumer or exploitative approach to them, and not the desire to enjoy the relationship and cooperate on an equal footing with your partner. Therefore, only fear forces people to reckon with each other. Roughly speaking, a man is afraid of losing a woman or a woman is afraid of losing a man, and only because of this does not allow himself to do too much in a relationship, that is, he does not become impudent. And in this case, partners consider each other, thinking about what they can lose if they lose each other or if one person loses the other because of their selfishness and greed. That's the problem. Initially, relationships are built on an aggressive and selfish basis, when a person thinks too much about himself and too little about the other. I, me, mine, I want, but what the partner needs is not important, he is silent, which means everything is fine, you don’t have to think about him at all. Well, how can deep-seated resentment and anger not arise when someone considers himself deprived? In essence, people strive to parasitize each other and, in order to do so, enter into relationships in which they do not really want to invest, they only want to receive something from them. They don’t have such a thing that it’s just good, comfortable, interesting with a person and for this there is respect for him, which in turn does not allow you to do something only for your own sake and to the detriment of him. And when people, as exploiters, are only looking for an opportunity to make themselves better at the expense of another, in particular at the expense of a partner, they only understand and recognize power. And only she can stop them from being too impudent. And this strength is mainly the loss of a partner, so in many respects the more compliant partner is the one who needs this relationship most. But this compliance may be accompanied by strong hatred for the other person, whom he does not want to lose, but nothing can oppose his selfishness to force him to take his interests into account.
In this way, people develop, accumulate, and transform in different ways grievances against their partner. Sometimes they lash out at him, telling him everything they think about him, and if this is impossible, then these grievances turn into hatred towards the person and this hidden aggression can also one day break out in the form of decisive and/or very aggressive actions. That is, this can lead to violence by one person against another, in this case, a partner, or to the fact that someone leaves someone. Moreover, the last straw that overflows a person’s cup of patience can be some insignificant little thing, for example, some offensive word from a partner or some minor offense of his, which, with all the desire, cannot be blown out of proportion, but combined with the already existing huge mass of all kinds of grievances , intertwined with each other and due to negative experiences creating new grievances, this little thing can play a decisive role in the fate of the relationship. And only a very naive person can believe that he was attacked by his partner or contributed to his departure, simply because he put something in the wrong place or over-salted the soup. Naturally, the point is in all the past grievances and anger that had been accumulating in his partner for many years and ultimately broke through his patience, giving vent to his feelings of hatred, which from hidden aggression turned into open.
What to do with hatred
If you feel hatred towards someone, then without studying the history of its origin you will not be able to cope with it. When it began, it gave rise to strong beliefs in you about the object of hatred, which over time only strengthened if the one you hate did not somehow improve your attitude towards yourself. Most often, this does not happen, because hatred darkens a person’s eyes, he stops seeing something good in the one he hates. We, people, generally tend to collect all the bad or all the good in one place, that is, in this case, you will see the one you hate mainly or exclusively in a negative light, stubbornly not noticing the good and willingly assigning everything bad to him. And since your capabilities do not allow you to punish this person or somehow influence him, for all the bad things that he has done to you or that he has in him, your hatred towards him will accumulate. And it is very difficult to rationalize this hatred, to understand its meaning, to reconsider one’s attitude towards its origins, without studying its entire history. This is what needs to be done, and we do it with people whom I help cope with their feelings of hatred. We look for the very first reason because of which it arose, and then gradually move from it to the current state of the person and to his current life, in which this hatred may no longer be relevant at all. Sometimes this feeling is transformed not because of objective factors, that is, the one whom a person hates does nothing bad to him, but solely because of the fantasies of the hater, who lives with a feeling of resentment and embitterment, and does not know what to do with them. In the end, all the trouble falls on the one he hates. This person or these people [evil for evil] is to blame for everything and he hates him or them even more. We need to get rid of this thickening of hatred by separating its true cause from the contrived reasons.
I will not say that it is necessary to get rid of it, hatred, as an exclusively harmful and destructive feeling. Not everything in this world is so simple as to accept one thing in it and reject another, and think that this is enough for a comfortable and successful life. There is also a benefit from hatred, and I have already shown some of it above. It allows a person to fight for his interests, forces him not to put up with what harms him. This is a sobering feeling, which, although it can intoxicate itself, nevertheless does not allow a person to turn into a whipping boy [or girl], with whom you can do whatever you want. But the methods of struggle can be different, they can be uncontrollable, when a person, out of hatred for someone, commits extremely rash acts that have negative consequences, including for himself. Or they can be extremely thoughtful, when a person uses his hatred as motivation, but makes decisions with a cool head, skillfully coping with his offenders and enemies whom he hates. It is this ability to transform hatred into constructive actions that people and I are also working on. We are looking for a more reasonable way out of their hatred, so that it does not unexpectedly burst out in the form of emotional actions and primitive decisions when a person’s cup of patience is full, but calmly and evenly comes out of him in the form of thoughtful and useful actions that alleviate his condition.
And I also want to say that you cannot ignore hatred. Otherwise, it will go from hating someone to hating a person towards himself. And then he will either harm himself in the end, or turn into an absolutely weak-willed and unviable creature, not ready for any fight for his interests. I call this the victory of evil over the human personality. To prevent this from happening, you need to work with hatred, not extinguish it, not express it in the form of aggression, but work, as mentioned above, study it and competently release it from a person.
Now about what to do with other people's hatred. If someone hates you, it is the same problem as you hating another person. After all, who knows when your hater will have opportunities to harm you. You can be sure he will use them. Therefore, the first thing you need to do is identify other people’s self-hatred, paying attention to how people treat you, what they say to you or about you, whether they are afraid of you, because people often hate precisely those they fear, but do not show it . Be more attentive to people, many of their grievances and anger can be seen, most people do not hide their feelings well and in conversations may one way or another mention their dissatisfaction with you, even in a joking manner, but some kind of reproach for you will definitely come out of their mouth address. You need to be careful about this. Next you need to talk with this person, learn more about him, about his life, in order not to find out directly, here you will most likely be deceived, but to guess from his problems, difficulties, desires, whether the person really hates you or not and why he hates you . After all, as I already said, we can accidentally offend, insult, or deprive someone of something because of our inattention and ignorance, and the person will hate us, and we won’t even know it. And then the hatred grows, changes, the root cause is forgotten, the negativity accumulates, the relationship towards you worsens and the person begins to wish you harm, sometimes completely unreasonably. Well, if he can’t understand this, you should understand it.
Therefore, in order to identify possible misunderstandings and any grievances, you need to communicate with people whom you suspect of hating you. This can be understood by their coldness, avoidance of you, or, conversely, by excessive servility, when they butter up you in order to get to know you better, in order to then use your weaknesses against you. Only through sincere and interested communication with people can you find out for sure that a person hates you. And having understood this, you can move on to the next step. And this is, no, not clarifying the relationship with this person, not trying to find out something from him and explain something to him, all this only interferes with the normalization of his attitude towards you. You must, firstly, correct your mistakes, which you will find if you remember everything you did recently or a little earlier that was somehow related to this person. And secondly, you just need to bribe this person with something good, in the broad sense of the word, that is, allow him to receive some kind of benefit thanks to you, so that the good impressions of you cover the negativity that caused him hatred for you. Sometimes it's not that hard to do. People willingly change their opinion about a person who gives them something good. In this sense, we are quite practical, unconsciously practical, because we succumb to positive emotions that are associated with the benefits we receive and forget old grievances.
Most people can be bribed, thus neutralizing their negativity towards themselves. I'm not talking about just giving money or some property to a person who hates you in order to buy his respect and love, or at least a neutral feeling towards you. Although people do this too, they simply buy haters and they change their opinion about them for the better. But I’m talking, first of all, about finding ways to please a person, through some benefits, concessions, privileges, simply getting closer to him, so that he gets to know you better, understands you better, shares some ideas, feelings, thoughts, problems with you so that you have some kind of joint business, then his attitude towards you will quickly change, it will become the way you make it yourself.
One of our main problems, as humans, is that we are often too focused on ourselves and pay unacceptably little attention to others. Because of this, we, let’s say, may not be careful enough with each other and, even without any malicious intent, are capable of causing harm and suffering to each other. This breeds resentment, anger and ultimately hatred. Of course, people have long learned to live with such hatred, carrying it within themselves and allowing others to hate themselves. But I don’t think it’s smart to turn a blind eye to this energy-consuming and, in some cases, completely meaningless feeling. Something needs to be done with him, definitely. But what exactly depends on each specific case. In some cases, this feeling must be reset so that it does not burden the soul, and in others, it must be given a way out so that it brings both benefit and relief.
Types of misanthropes
Dislike for people can manifest itself in various forms: complete rejection of society or partial aversion to certain categories. Behavioral manners and life credo make it possible to divide misanthropes into 2 types.
Fierce Personality
Having “snarled” at the whole world, the individual perceives it from a bad point of view. He is sincerely convinced that humanity is not only imperfect, but also does not strive for improvement. The peculiarity of such misanthropes is that they themselves do not try to make any efforts to change the world. All their ardor comes down to verbal indignation.
Fierce Personality
For such people, it is easier to isolate themselves from everyone, withdraw into their own little world, and reduce communication to a minimum. The extreme point of self-expression is to become a recluse.
Fighter for justice
Not all misanthropes hate humanity fiercely. There are idealists who love the world and strive to make it better. They have a developed sense of perception of injustice, so they react painfully to the mistreatment of animals, environmental disasters, wars, power struggles, etc.
Such people do not isolate themselves from society; on the contrary, they become initiators of various reforms. Their hostility is not aimed at humanity as a whole, but at certain individuals (groups of people, parties). Misanthropes of this type not only express condemnation, but also make attempts to correct the world.
When the inner misanthrope comes out
Little children look at everything with kind, naive eyes. Even external aggression that causes negative emotions is forgotten over time. Once you reach adolescence, the child begins to feel like an individual with his own views on life. He has already learned critical thinking and is able to evaluate the actions of other people.
It becomes a real revelation for him that the world is not as friendly as it seemed in infancy. It contains injustice, hypocrisy, betrayal, and cruelty. This is disgusting to teenagers with a heightened sense of truth.
Watching films with a negative plot, observing the development of modern society with its foundations, which are sometimes worthy of condemnation, the younger generation reacts painfully to such manifestations.
Not only politicians, but also close people can generate the beginnings of a misanthrope in the mind of a youth. If the actions of relatives are not always consistent with the interpreted moral norms, the child perceives this as a betrayal. If loved ones are capable of this, then what can we expect from the whole world?
It’s good when a teenager grows into a fighter for justice. The unstable psyche of a child does not always withstand such tests. As a result, the person becomes bitter and begins to hate everyone. If he becomes a hermit, it's not a big deal. It's worse when a misanthrope turns into a sociopath.
Correction of misanthropy
Based on the above, it is clear what hatred of people is called. Another thing is important: can dislike for humanity be corrected? If such a desire comes from a misanthrope, a restructuring of consciousness is not difficult to carry out. The main thing is that someone is nearby and supports.
You need to be guided by the fact that a misanthrope is also a person with his own feelings. To show hostility, an individual must come into contact with society and live according to the laws of society, coordinating actions with his own conscience.
Note! Most misanthropes have a sense of empathy (especially fighters for justice). It is not difficult to “convert” such individuals to another faith.
In personality correction, it is important to choose the right direction. For a misanthrope, this is the path to a philanthropist who also sees the imperfections of the world. If the first one usually fences himself off from problems, then the second one strives to change something for the better (from the position of love for one’s neighbor).
To instill the necessary qualities in a renegade, you should not convince him that the world is perfect. It is important to support the assessment given by the misanthrope to society and redirect emotions not to grumbling, but to the desire to change, improve, correct something.
Take a step towards people
To turn a misanthrope into a philanthropist, it is enough to attract him to one of the useful events. He can engage in the following types of activities:
- participate in a charity fund that helps orphanages, needy people, and sick old people;
- be involved in a social project that improves a playground, a park area, and protects national heritage;
- talented people should be involved in innovation activities, scientific research, and creativity.
Philanthropists are not expected to provide material assistance; what is important is good guidance and emotional and friendly support. If a misanthrope understands that he has the power to change a situation for the better, he himself will begin to change his attitude towards the world.
How to start trusting?
This is worth talking about finally. A person who does not believe anything or anyone experiences discomfort from this. He wants to get rid of it. Unfortunately, there is no universal answer to the question of how to begin to trust. But we can say with confidence that in this case it is necessary to change your approach to interpersonal relationships. You should focus not on your subconscious suspicions, but on reality. Is this person trustworthy? If not, why not?
You need to perceive people as they are and treat them accordingly. If there were prerequisites for mistrust, then suspicion is justified. And if not, then you shouldn’t torment yourself with speculation, much less offend a person with your attacks, which he doesn’t deserve.
Famous misanthropes
To oppose yourself to society, you need to have above average intelligence. This is the only way to notice the flaws in the world and the imperfections of most individuals. Therefore, it is not surprising that some great people are included in the cohort of misanthropes. Among them are Heinrich Heine, Arthur Schopenhauer, Nietzsche, Jonathan Swift, Solomon. Despite their hostility towards people, the creative activity of famous misanthropes was aimed at the benefit of humanity.
Young Jonathan Swift
In the name of justice (as he himself believed), Adolf Hitler also carried out his plans. This is an example of a negative misanthrope who over time turned into a real sociopath.
Having understood what misanthropy is and having found its signs in your character, you should not fall into despair. The meaning of this term simply defines the character and in no way makes a diagnosis. Every person has the desire to retire from people at least for a while; 100% haters of the world are extremely rare.
