How to find a common language and learn how to interact correctly with anyone, how to get along with them, making a good impression. All these are very important skills in the modern world, which will certainly be useful to everyone, no matter what a person does.
All people in the world are undoubtedly social creatures and cannot live without others. But this does not mean that each of them really knows how to communicate with others and find a common language. Often, many do not even realize what they are doing wrong, and are in no hurry to admit it to themselves. But communication is an art. Having set out to master it, you should start by making contact.
Never make fun of people
During a conversation, you should never “lower” a person or his dignity. Even a harmless tease, joke or trolling, as it is commonly called now, can completely destroy your relationship. This style of communication never ends well. Even teenagers who like to jokingly call names begin to hate such friends.
You should not assume that by humiliating a person you can earn the respect of others. After such an outburst, they will communicate with you less.
How to find a common language with any person.
The ability to communicate correctly with people is one of the key skills for a top manager. Most people who run successful companies speak well and know how to lead people.
I think it's something like natural selection. Charismatic leaders know how to find words that resonate with the audience, ignite people - their mood rises, they want to be better and follow them.
There are many good communicators among both men and women. Women tend to be better listeners, while men sound more confident. But regardless of gender, innate abilities and status, each person has his own strengths and weaknesses in communication. Missing competencies can be developed. In addition, they will be useful not only in business, but also in everyday life.
Listening skills
What makes up successful communication? In my opinion, the most important thing is the ability to listen. The key to the success of any customer service project is to understand the customer's original need. Your interlocutor does not always know exactly what he wants. Moreover, he can clearly articulate something completely different. And if you don't get to the bottom of it by asking the right questions, your brilliant solution may end up answering a need that isn't what the customer really cares about.
You need to listen and hear. I learned this lesson very well early in my career. A senior partner took me to my first meeting with the CEO of a large company. I was very nervous as I prepared to show our beautiful slides to a potential client and hear their opinion. But a colleague on the road flipped my script: now we are going not to talk, but to listen. When you are young, this is more difficult - pauses during a meeting seem too uncomfortable, you want to fill the information space, immediately express some smart ideas, and make an impression. The ability to naturally create an opportunity for your interlocutor to speak freely comes with experience. I have noticed more than once that more self-confident people are ready to listen, to dialogue based on monologues.
Ability to structure a problem
You can move on to finding a solution only after it becomes clear to both of you what problem you are trying to solve. Many mothers, by the way, hone this skill in communicating with children - they need to find out what really bothers the child when he demands ice cream or something else. You can help a person understand what he really wants by correctly formulating questions.
An important point: when you, by carefully listening to your interlocutor, have found out his real task, you need to summarize the essence so that the interlocutor hears his thoughts in a structured form and passes it through himself. A good psychologist does not tell you what to do, but through leading questions helps you understand the problem and understand it. It’s the same in client business - we don’t bring a ready-made solution, we have to develop it together with the company so that it can be implemented.
Ability to speak clearly
At one time there was a popular video on YouTube where, at a meeting, one of the employees suggests how to improve sales, but no one reacts to it. The same ideas, but more confidently, are voiced by another person - and everyone applauds. You need to be able to speak so that you are heard. The ability to express your thoughts clearly and clearly will ensure 50% of your success, allowing you to convince others.
How to learn to speak clearly, reasonedly and without filler words? One successful woman gave me good advice on this topic - you need to prepare for each meeting eight times longer than it will last. The apparent ease of conversation in 95% of cases is explained by the fact that people thoughtfully structure the discussion, planning in advance what to say, when to say it, how to sit, stand, move, how to modulate their voice in a particular conversation scenario. It's like theater - if you want the viewer to be imbued with it, you need to make sure that your entire image corresponds to the words and emotions. The interlocutor should feel that everything you say is meaningful, analyzed, and your words can be trusted.
Ability to remain calm
Do not hurry. If you speak quickly, you won't have time to say more. It’s better to slow down - this will give you the opportunity to find the right words and look more confident. Often, by the way, young employees who are quickly advancing in their careers at some point run into the fact that they are not taken seriously. They think it’s because of age, but it’s more likely a matter of behavior. When you twitch, fuss, and feel insecure, it all gives the impression of inexperience.
Of course, it is important to find the key to your interlocutor so that he trusts you. But people are very different. No matter how professional you are, purely by temperament it will be easier to communicate with some clients, and not so much with others. You may not be cheerful in a meeting, but it is important to be attentive to your interlocutor.
Ability to establish contact
There are people who like to talk about life before talking about business. Others, on the contrary, will consider you a frivolous partner for lyrical digressions. Some people immediately need an answer from you, and then the whole line of reasoning, while others will consider this a manifestation of arrogance. It is important at the first meeting not to get into trouble by guessing what type your interlocutor is. There is only one piece of advice - try to study its ecosystem. Some conclusions can definitely be drawn by noticing how he behaves, what kind of office he has - laconic or filled with gizmos. Your job is to understand how this person prefers to communicate. And adapt to his style (the younger one adapts to the older one, not vice versa, but in the case of a service business, the client is always the older one). This does not mean at all that you have to agree with him on everything, but in any case it is important for you to understand the point of view of your interlocutor and try to convincingly convey yours to him.
If the interlocutor insists on his point of view and does not hear yours, asking why he still thinks so helps - you give the person the opportunity, in the process of searching for arguments, to realize that there are other options. Such dialogue can be very effective.
The ability to be sincere
I am a supporter of the theory that a person cannot be strong in everything and you should not go against your nature by trying to develop everything at once. It is important to know your natural strengths, which can compensate for your inherent weaknesses. If a person is an introvert, he should not try to be a “lighter”. It may be worth choosing a different conversation format - for example, one on one. You need to determine what you naturally do best and build the foundation of your communication with the client on this.
Ability to end a meeting
Every meeting should have a sense of progress, moving forward. Then you realize that there is a reason to continue communicating. It is always necessary to give meeting participants a clear understanding of what has been achieved, what will happen next, when, and who will take responsibility. There must be a clear understanding not only of the space where we are now, but also of how this stage relates to the whole, where the horizon for the end of further discussion is. As soon as there is uncertainty about the progress of your collaborative process, a feeling of dissatisfaction sets in after the meeting.
Finally, a valid tip for the success of any negotiation is to leave your phone alone. Otherwise, the interlocutor will never feel that the conversation is important to you and that you are serious.
Source: https://www.forbes.ru/karera-i-svoy-biznes/353773-kak-skazhete-kak-raspolozhit-k-sebe-lyubogo-sobesednika
Say compliments and simple kind words
Compliments should not look like flattery, be deliberate and forced - only sincere words will be accepted by the interlocutor with pleasure. Thank your employees and colleagues for the work done or the service rendered, treat strangers with respect, you may still have to meet them.
If you are asked to express your opinion or comments about something, praise with reason, criticize in such a way as not to offend. Many people are very susceptible to any kind of criticism and, knowing about this particular character trait of a particular individual, be careful - with ill-considered words you can even make an enemy.
Criticism must be constructive and justified
7 levels of communication according to A. B. Dobrovich
We constantly communicate with other people, and a lot depends on this communication. Therefore, it is absolutely necessary to develop effective communication skills and understand the psychology of communication. In this article, we invite you to get acquainted with the classification of communication levels compiled by Anatoly Borisovich Dobrovitch, Candidate of Medical Sciences, author of popular books on psychology and psychotherapy. Communication can occur on one of seven levels - from primitive to spiritual, and in each case it will be different. We are confident that this information can seriously affect the quality of communication and make it much better. Read more…
4
In the swamp of misunderstanding
In fact, relationships between people often collapse precisely because of the inability to understand each other. Due to misunderstanding, the husband separates from his wife, or the children stop communicating with their parents. And understanding how to communicate with your mother-in-law or mother-in-law is completely beyond reality, a task not for the faint of heart.
It often happens that only sitting at the already broken trough, we begin to ask questions: “Why don’t people want to communicate with me? Why did my daughter stop communicating with me, or does my son ignore my calls? How to find a common language with your parents?
In such a situation, it can be very painful for us: after all, we are often talking about a break with the closest and dearest people.
Development of communication skills
The development of communication skills is required by every person on the planet, only if he does not live as a hermit in a cave. Even though many people now consider themselves completely independent, everyone has to interact with other people in one way or another. In this article you will find several exercises, games, techniques and books that will be useful to improve your communication skills. You will also watch a video featuring the famous American writer and business coach Brian Tracy, in which he talks about the secrets of successful communication. Read more…
5
Watch your speech and intonation
Idle talkers and chatterboxes are not attractive to anyone in communication. Think about what you want to say, don’t be a “shirt-guy” with your soul wide open: it’s not at all necessary to tell everyone what’s on your mind.
And always remember the rather ancient advice: listen more than you talk
Even if the conversation becomes tense, monitor your emotions . The voice is calm and even, continue communication without getting personal. If the atmosphere is dangerously tense, try to defuse the situation with a good joke or politely end the conversation with a phrase like: “I suggest we return to this topic a little later.”
Learn to keep your emotions in check
There is no demand, but no one has canceled the consequences
In fact, until we are aware of the psychological characteristics of not only other people, but even our own, there is no demand from us. After all, no one taught us the basics of psychological literacy at school.
Nevertheless, we receive full negative consequences. We don’t know how to find a common language with a person, because we don’t understand how he lives and breathes. What features does it have by nature?
And we pay with the breakdown of the family, the loss of relationships with children, and even our social fulfillment. We also work among people.
The only alternative to these losses is our psychological literacy, the ability to see another person as he is.
Be positive and smile more often!
Enjoy every little thing, create a good mood not only for yourself, but also for other people. Everyone, of course, has enough worries, so people instinctively gravitate towards those who do not burden them with their problems, know how to enjoy life , and are able to become a ray of light in the drab everyday life.
Happy company
