How do different peoples of the world express love?
Until now, each country has its own understanding of love, which may seem strange and even wild to people of another culture:
- Tiwi girls cannot choose their husbands - they are already matched at birth.
- The romanticism of the French is a myth. Residents of the country are pragmatic and prefer open relationships to marriage.
- Italians are born actors. While they ardently confess their love, they may not feel it at all.
- Middle-aged Germans prefer to take care of young girls—arranged marriages here do not surprise anyone.
- The USA has a “cult of family” and at the same time one of the highest divorce rates in the world. How does it fit together? Americans are looking for happy relationships and don't hold on to a failed marriage.
Of course, the selection contains only general ideas: we must always remember that each person is an individual.
Looking into a stranger's eyes can make you fall in love
They say that the eyes are the mirror of the soul. And it is not surprising that a simple glance at them is enough to fall in love once and for all, even with someone about whom we know nothing. Scientists have proven that the body of a person who looks at the object of sympathy produces a chemical substance called phenylethylamine, which is responsible for “mad love”. Its effect is similar to cocaine, so it makes you feel excited, euphoric and sexual desire.
Love and physiology: what happens to the body when we are in love
Let’s reveal the formula of “chemistry of love”:
- The feeling causes the same surge of dopamine as when taking a large dose of cocaine. No wonder they say that love is a drug.
- The “parental care” hormone, oxytocin, is responsible for tender feelings. By the way, people who produce it in large doses are less likely to cheat.
- During a kiss, breathing becomes almost 3 times faster.
- When lovers are close, their hearts beat in sync.
- “Butterflies in the stomach” are, in fact, the consequences of a surge of adrenaline when seeing the object of attraction.
Love helps to overcome even severe pain - just a hug from a loved one is enough.
Volgograd
Much has been written about all-consuming and all-encompassing love, and scientists have been trying for centuries to unravel the mystery of this most mysterious feeling. From a variety of sources, we managed to collect many interesting facts and scientific theories about love, which in no way detract from its poetry and romance.
Fact one.
We've all heard the expression "butterflies in the stomach." It turns out that this actually happens.
When we fall in love, it seems to us that butterflies are fluttering around, we become inspired and ready to dance with happiness. In fact, the culprit is the hormone adrenaline, which spreads throughout the body in response to the so-called “fight or flight” response.
Fact two.
Surprisingly, it only takes four minutes to fall in love.
If we want to make a good impression on someone, we only have 4 minutes to do it. It is believed that a potential partner is much more impressed by body language, the sound of the voice and the pace of speech than the meaning of what is said.
Fact three.
When two lovers look into each other's eyes, their heartbeats synchronize.
Studies show that two people under the same arrow of Cupid's heartbeats become synchronized within 3 minutes after looking intently into each other's eyes.
Fact four.
Love affects a person like cocaine.
It affects the brain in the same way as a dose of this drug, causing a similar feeling of euphoria. Scientists have proven that when a person is in love, his body produces several chemicals that enhance the activity of 12 areas of the brain, at the same time making us experience euphoria.
Fact five.
Hugs act on the body as a natural pain reliever.
The so-called love hormone oxytocin, which is produced by the brain, as well as the female and male genital organs, is involved in the process of developing strong affection during hugs. A dose of oxytocin has been shown to reduce and sometimes even eliminate headaches. Agree, definitely a worthy alternative to painkillers.
Fact six.
Even a glance at a photo of a loved one is enough to ease the pain.
It has long been known that the presence of a loved one helps improve the patient’s well-being. And sometimes just one look at a photo of a loved one is enough to dull the pain. An experiment conducted among those who experienced physical pain showed: those patients who looked at photographs of loved ones and loved ones felt much better than those who simply distracted themselves from pain by playing.
Fact seven.
People with the same degree of attractiveness are more likely to maintain their relationships for many years.
The so-called “peer” phenomenon means that a man and a woman strive to choose as partners someone who is their “peer,” that is, similar in appearance. But often, even if one partner is less attractive, he compensates for this with another socially desirable quality.
Fact eight.
(For some reason it contradicts the previous one). Couples who are too similar to each other are less likely to have a long, strong relationship.
As the famous saying goes: opposites attract. Scientists have proven that this is partly true. Partners who are too similar to each other or too different tend to break up. Of course, loving people should be similar in some ways, but at the same time, there are things that we should learn from each other.
Fact nine.
"Broken heart" is not just a metaphor.
There is evidence that stressful events such as separation, divorce, loss of a loved one, betrayal or even being at a distance from a loved one can cause pain in the heart area. This condition is called “broken heart syndrome.” Deep emotional experiences trigger certain brain chemicals that significantly weaken the functioning of the heart, leading to severe chest pain and difficulty breathing. This disease most often affects women, and doctors often confuse it with a heart attack.
Fact ten.
Romantic love eventually ends. But behind it comes perfect love.
It is believed that love weakens over the years. Scientists have calculated that romantic love, which is inextricably linked with feelings of euphoria, addiction and butterflies in the stomach, lasts only a year. After a year of relationship, the so-called stage of “perfect love” begins. This transition, according to scientists, is associated with an increase in the level of protein neurotrophins in newly formed couples.
Fact eleven.
From doctors. Symptoms of falling in love are similar to those of obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Research shows that people in the early stages of relationships have lower levels of serotonin, which is associated with feelings of happiness and well-being, and higher levels of cortisol, which is associated with stress. A similar chemical composition of hormones is observed in people suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder. This explains the behavior characteristic of lovers and the presence of obsessive thoughts about the object of love. This theory also works the other way around: people with lower serotonin levels fall in love and have sexual relations faster than others.
Fact twelve.
Thoughts about love and sex affect creativity and concrete thinking.
Psychologists have found that any reminder of the object of adoration affects abstract and creative thinking. This is associated with the more abstract aspects of love such as long-term relationships, strong attachment, commitment and intimacy. And a reminder about sex triggers the work of concrete thinking, forcing a person to focus on momentary details rather than on long-term plans and tasks.
Fact thirteen.
There is a formula: devotion + passion + intimacy = perfect love.
According to the three-component theory of love of one of the psychologists, there is a specific formula for different types of this feeling. In his opinion, there are several types of love, the formulas of which consist of alternating 3 basic components: romantic love = passion + intimacy; friendly love = intimacy + devotion; invented love = passion + devotion. And, of course, the strongest of all is perfect love, which consists of 3 components at once.
Fact fourteen.
For a long-term relationship, attractive facial features are more important than a well-built body.
It has been proven that when a person is looking for an easy relationship and wants to have a light affair, he first of all pays attention to the body of a potential partner. Conversely, for those looking for a serious relationship, the attractiveness of facial features plays an important role. Just like that!
Fact fifteen.
Holding hands with loved ones relieves stress.
Those couples who have a strong and harmonious relationship can have great success calming each other down in stressful situations and even alleviate physical suffering simply by holding hands.
Fact sixteen.
By expressing gratitude to our loved ones, we ourselves become happier.
Psychologists have proven that when we say nice things to people we really care about, when we sincerely thank them for something, we become much happier ourselves.
Fact seventeen.
From Darwin. When we like someone, our pupils dilate, making us more attractive.
Back in the 1870s, Darwin proposed that pupils might dilate when a person sees an object of interest or shows increased attention to someone or something. And this is actually true: even when we watch a video or photo with our loved one, our pupils become wider, and we ourselves become more attractive.
Fact eighteen.
Looking into a stranger's eyes can make you fall in love.
They say that the eyes are the window to the soul. And it is not surprising that a simple glance at them is enough to fall in love once and for all, even with someone about whom we know nothing. Scientists have proven that the human body, which looks at the object of sympathy, produces a chemical substance called phenylethylamine, which is responsible for “mad” love. Its effect is similar to cocaine, so it makes you feel excited, euphoric and sexual desire.
Fact nineteen.
About fidelity. Monogamous relationships occur not only in humans, but also in animals.
Man is not the only one in the animal world who can remain faithful. Wolves, swans, gibbons, black vultures, albatrosses, termites and many other animals find mates for life.
Fact twentieth, but undeniable:
love is the only thing that matters.
A study conducted by a group of Harvard scientists over a whopping 76 years has proven that love is, in fact, all that matters in life. The life experience of the experiment participants showed that happiness and a sense of satisfaction revolve around one feeling - love or the search for this very love, best of all, of course, perfect...
Author: Anna Dobrovolskaya.
How does a person fall in love and how to understand it?
Let's try to reveal one of the most inaccessible secrets of our heart:
- In fact, it only takes 4 minutes to find out if he likes his interlocutor.
- On average, a person falls in love 12 times before finding his true love.
- There is such a thing as philophobia - a natural fear of falling in love.
- When you fall in love, hormones are produced that increase feelings of jealousy.
- The lover becomes capable of taking risks, which could cost him his life.
- If a person takes antidepressants, he is practically unable to fall in love.
By the way, people in love begin to experience a passion for sweets, chocolate.
Feeling Dangerous
In 1974, Arthur Aron and Donald Dutton wanted to test how similar sexual arousal was to danger arousal. The experiment was conducted among men:
- Some had to cross a bridge that was high above the ground and posed a danger;
- The other part of the men walked along an ordinary bridge, without any risk.
- At the end of the path, each of the participants was met by a woman who unobtrusively left her number during the conversation.
Those men who crossed the dangerous bridge were more likely to call after all.
Psychologists justify this by the fact that excitement by fear influenced the impression of the woman. Risk and conditions of danger enhance the feeling, which is why it is recommended to have an extreme date from time to time.
Women's guesses are much more accurate than men's undoubted facts. Joseph Rudyard Kipling
Scientists have explained how men fall in love
Here is a selection of facts:
- There is a stereotype that men fall in love with appearance, and women with character. Surprisingly, statistics confirm this.
- The higher a guy's testosterone level, the less likely he is to get married.
- It is the stronger sex that is the most capricious in relationships.
- Men fall in love faster and lose their feelings faster. That's why they are often the first to admit their feelings.
Scientists followed handsome men and noticed an interesting thing: nice guys choose girls with a “simple” appearance as a couple and remain faithful to them.
Men with a dog
At the University of Michigan, women viewing profiles of men rated dog owners higher.
On a subconscious level, men who have a pet evoke the association of a caring, constant and balanced partner. Moreover, women get the impression that a dog owner is more ready for a long-term relationship than a man who does not have a four-legged friend.
Let's find out how women fall in love
We are already aware of the affairs of the hearts of men, the time has come for the beautiful half of humanity:
- Women prefer to choose a partner who is taller than them.
- When a girl is in love, the part of her brain responsible for memory is activated. That's why ladies remember all the moments and dates of a relationship.
- Looking at a photo of a loved one with whom she had to break up, a girl may experience physical pain.
- The most successful relationships, contrary to stereotypes, are when the woman is older than her chosen one.
It's interesting that ladies can sometimes experience inexplicable sympathy for someone who looks intently into their eyes.
Make eye contact for two minutes
Failed to fall in love or fell in love at first sight?
Then try looking into your eyes for two whole minutes. Psychologist Joan Kellerman asked senior students who did not know each other to break into pairs and look each other straight in the eyes for two minutes continuously. As a result, it was found that after this, the favor and passion between the couples increased. This proves that this method can ignite the fire of passion. The main thing is not to overdo it, so as not to scare the person you like with too much gaze.
Love and psychology: who wins?
Psychologists explain what happens when butterflies swirl in your stomach:
- If you meet someone under extreme circumstances, the chances of you falling in love with each other increase.
- People tend to choose as a mate someone who resembles their parent. And not necessarily externally.
- Those who fall most deeply in love are those who are not consciously seeking a romantic relationship.
- Young guys suffer more from breakups than girls. But with age the opposite is true.
- For a woman, a man with a low voice is subconsciously more attractive than a man with a high voice.
By the way, people tend to fall in love more with a pretty face than with a beautiful body.
Hot drinks
Psychologist John Bargh conducted an experiment during which previously unfamiliar people drank hot drinks or ate ice cream on their first date.
The result showed that those participants who treated themselves to warm drinks were left with a warmer impression of their interlocutor, unlike those who ate ice cream. So be aware that when someone invites you for coffee, it may be a cunningly planned plan.
Love and statistics: what do the numbers say?
Let's try to combine the incompatible - a cosmic feeling and “down-to-earth” arithmetic:
- When meeting a nice person, 43% of people feel inexplicably afraid.
- First love lives on average 4 months.
- The fewest divorces are among people who got engaged after 23 years.
- On average, men are 3 years older than their chosen ones.
- When kissing, 75% of people tilt their heads to the right.
Scientists have found that love actually lasts 3 years. Then it moves to a new stage or disappears altogether.
Love and family: the most unexpected facts
What happens to romantic feelings in family relationships:
- Unfortunately, most often divorces occur in the 5th year of marriage.
- 50% of all married people believe that their partner is their property.
- Office romances only in 4 cases out of 10 end in marriage.
- 10 years is the minimum period to feel complete unity with your spouse.
But the most difficult stage in the life of many couples is the birth of a baby. It’s difficult for people to adjust to the fact that there are now not two, but three.
Falling in love is good for your health: scientific research
“Torment of the heart,” it turns out, can benefit our body:
- Hugs are a natural pain reliever.
- Husbands who kiss their wives in the morning every day live 5 years longer than spouses who do not.
- 1 minute of kissing can burn up to 26 extra calories.
- Looking at a photo of a loved one can reduce pain by 44%.
- In a happy marriage, people are less likely to suffer from high blood pressure.
And if a person has never fallen in love, he may suffer from hypopituitarism, a rare disease in which almost no affection hormones are produced.
"Broken Heart" Isn't Just a Metaphor
There is evidence that stressful events such as separation, divorce, loss of a loved one, betrayal or even being at a distance from a loved one can cause pain in the heart. This condition is called “Broken Heart Syndrome”. Deep emotional experiences trigger certain brain chemicals that significantly weaken the functioning of the heart, leading to severe chest pain and difficulty breathing. This disease most often affects women, and doctors often confuse it with a heart attack.
Myths about love that you should stop believing a long time ago
Unfortunately, many romantic “truths” are nothing more than fiction:
- “True love is at first sight.” In a short time you can only experience sympathy, tenderness, passion. Love arises only for a person you know well.
- “For the sake of love you have to sacrifice everything.” This is a very tragic scenario that turns one lover into a victim and the other into a tormentor.
- "Opposites attract." Indeed, people unlike us are attractive. But real feelings are where there are similar characters, habits, worldviews and interests.
- “Life ends with divorce.” On the contrary, women become more open and men become more reliable companions in subsequent relationships.
It is not true that true love is necessarily mutual. Let us remember the great romantic poets, whose true inspiration was an unrequited feeling.
Commitment + passion + intimacy = perfect love
According to psychologist Robert Sternberg's three-part theory of love, there is a specific formula for different types of love. Sternberg names several types of love, the formulas of which consist of alternating 3 basic components: romantic love = passion + intimacy, friendly love = intimacy + devotion, invented love = passion + devotion. Of course, the strongest of all is perfect love, which consists of 3 components at once.
How did people of the past express their love?
A modern person will be surprised by how our ancestors loved each other before:
- The ancient Greeks believed that the vein of love runs through the ring finger - which is why they put a wedding ring on it.
- Where did the expression “soulmate” begin? Plato argued that people once had two pairs of arms and legs, but one day they were divided in two. That is why we are looking around the world for our second part in order to find harmony.
- In the Middle Ages, marital fidelity existed only officially. Amorous affairs on the side did not surprise anyone.
- Only since the 18th century has there been such a thing as a “marriage for love.”
By the way, the folk tales about love that we knew from childhood actually had a frightening plot: the story could easily end in suicide or a forced wedding. It was later that they were adapted so that “everyone lived happily ever after.”
Playing musical instruments
Researchers from France claim that people who can play musical instruments are more attractive among members of the opposite sex.
To confirm, they conducted a small street experiment: 300 women were asked who they would most likely give their phone to: a guy who had a guitar or a sports bag. The majority chose the musician
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Klinskikh Natalya · Jan 21, 2022
Funny superstitions related to love
It is natural that one of the most mysterious feelings is surrounded by the most incredible signs:
- Suddenly you smell your favorite dish, even though there is no food nearby? They say that this means serious changes on the personal front.
- If a woman, after meeting a man, suddenly discovers a gray hair on her head, this is... a sign of happy love.
- Did you accidentally spill sugar? Lucky in love!
- Did you happen to see little twin children on the street? A meeting with your soulmate is expected soon.
- Got a red thread attached to your clothes? An acquaintance is just around the corner.
- Did you see a comb on the road? They advise you to pick up an object - you will soon meet the person of your life.
Whether to believe in superstitions or not, everyone decides for themselves, but what is most curious is how people came up with such associations?
Symptoms of falling in love are similar to those of obsessive-compulsive disorder
Research shows that people in the early stages of relationships have lower levels of serotonin, which is associated with feelings of happiness and well-being, and higher levels of cortisol, which is associated with stress. A similar chemical composition of hormones is observed in people suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder. This explains the behavior characteristic of lovers and the presence of obsessive thoughts about the object of love. This theory also works the other way around - people with lower serotonin levels fall in love and have sexual relations faster than others.
Love in the Guinness Book of Records
The strongest feeling in the world was also noted in the world record book:
- Longest marriage. The record holders are the Fischer couple, who have lived together for 86 years. Unfortunately, Herbert left his chosen one, dying at the age of 105.
- Longest kiss: 2.5 days (58 hours 35 minutes). It was a group record with ten Thai couples taking part on February 14, 2015.
- The most touching declaration of love. Farmer Winston Howes could not come to terms with the death of his beloved wife: he planted a field of 6,000 young oak trees, leaving a heart-shaped clearing in the middle. The older the trees became, the more clearly the “Valentine” was visible.
- The most unusual monument to feeling. This is the “Statue of Love” in Batumi (Georgia) - the monumental figures of a man and woman continuously rotate to merge in a kiss.
- The most crowded underwater wedding. To congratulate the newlywed divers, 301 guests dived underwater.
I would like to believe that the people who perform these incredible acts were motivated by love, and not just the desire to be in the Book of Records.
The strangest love stories in the world
“Passion drives you crazy”? There are people who take this expression literally:
- A man fell in love with the corpse of his patient. Lonely X-ray specialist Carla van Cosel (Tanzir) was truly obsessed with Elena Hoyos, who suffered from tuberculosis. Despite treatment, the disease killed the girl. Van Cosel persuaded the family of the unfortunate woman to place the body of the deceased in a mausoleum. From there, he secretly transported the corpse to his house, and to prevent the body from decomposing, he filled it with plaster and wax. When they found out about the man's crazy passion, the statute of limitations for the crime expired.
- The woman married the man who blinded her. Linda Riess found out that her lover had a family and decided to break up with the man. Wanting revenge, Bert Pugach hired three guys who threw acid in the girl’s face, blinding and disfiguring her. The customer was given 15 years in prison for this. However, all this time he communicated with Linda, and then she completely married Bert. Yeah, love is blind.
- The gamer married a 2D character. Player Sal 9000 confirmed the seriousness of his feelings for the wedding drawn by Nene Anegasaki from the game Love Plus.
- The millionaire married a dolphin. The first “interspecies” marriage was between the eccentric Sharon Tendler and Cindy the dolphin, who lives near an Israeli resort. It is known that the woman cared for the animal for 10 years, after which she decided on such a strange union. But “family life” was short-lived: the dolphin died the next year after the wedding.
- Twin brothers married twin sisters. Mark and Craig Sanders met Darlene and Diana Twinsberg at... the Gemini Festival. But the story would not have made it into our material if these two couples had not had twin children!
Yes, it is difficult to understand and explain all this. But how can one not remember the expression: “Everyone loves in their own way”
Do animals love each other?
One can argue whether our smaller brothers are capable of love, because they have no self-awareness. But this selection will touch you:
- Swans remain faithful to each other throughout their lives. If one of the pair dies, the second bird remains alone.
- Wolves take care of female wolves while woolly mothers feed their babies. The predator will give the female his last food, even if he himself can barely stand from hunger.
- The most selective gentlemen in the fauna world are gibbons. They can choose a companion for several years. And if nothing works out, then they follow the “advice” of their parents.
- The only birds that can kiss are pigeons. Bluewings create a strong family and share the responsibilities of caring for the chicks.
Perhaps animals do not have the same depth of experience as humans. But it is difficult to explain all of the above with instincts alone.
Signs that someone is in love with you
There are clear and subtle signs that can help you decide if a person is in love with you. One of the most common signs is that a person is looking at you when you are not looking or paying attention. Another common sign is when they are always thinking about you and everything you do seems cool to them.
If you find that someone you know acts differently when you are around, or seems to have a completely different personality around you, it means he or she is in love with you! Another way to tell who you like is to see if someone always wants to be around you, even when you're just going about your day.
If you see any of the above signs coming from someone you know or work with, just know that they have a crush on you! Try not to send mixed messages if you are not interested.
