Many people ask questions like: how to find and understand your purpose? How to identify your talents? What should I do? You can forget about your calling and do what interests you. This is also a method. However, if we dig deeper, we can find the diamonds that are hidden within us.
Try to do a few training exercises, they will certainly help you in understanding yourself and your place in life, your purpose. Find a job or field of activity in which you could develop and perform it perfectly. These are excellent exercises for self-development and self-improvement. In addition, below you will see a list of tests that will also help you. Please don't do everything at once! If you want to divide one exercise into 2 days, you can do this. And sometimes it’s even necessary. Can you do it faster? You can, the time is approximate, but remember: you cannot know yourself and discover your purpose in 15 minutes.
Check out other exercises for self-development.
Here you can “which will help you achieve your goals faster and become more motivated.
What is love?
Is it possible to tell in words what “love” or “happiness” is? One will say that this is a chemical reaction of the body, another – a sublime feeling, the third will completely find it difficult to answer, they say, when you fall in love, you will understand!
But it's really difficult to understand. Today, at the sight of your loved one, everything in your soul blossoms, your heart is pounding with joy, and butterflies are fluttering in your stomach. And tomorrow you begin to wonder, is this the person I need? Will I be able to live with him all my life?
So it turns out that at first we are exclusively under the influence of feelings, and then, after a few weeks or months, the voice of reason turns on.
Love means something different for each person, because everyone loves in their own way, depending on their character and emotionality. Some are restrained in their feelings, while others are ready to shout about them to the whole world.
In any case, by love, every person understands something good, unusual, joyful. You meet a person with whom you feel warm and calm, someone you can trust, with whom you want to share your joys and sorrows.
This person in a short time becomes the closest, as if this is a part of you, your soulmate.
Clearly imagine an area of activity that has always interested you
Where did you draw your inspiration from? What helped you see the world in an extraordinary light or simply calmed you down and gave you strength for the tedious tasks ahead?
For example, if a person is interested in major public figures or follows news reports, he is extremely comfortable in society and has always liked to communicate with a variety of people on the same, no less different topics - why not then choose a specialty that requires live contact with those around you. Such work is distinguished not only by the greatest variety of tasks, but also by prestige. A psychotherapist, a conflict specialist, a journalist-interviewer or a consulting teacher - people of such professions are in great demand even in Russia, and in the West they are selling like hot cakes.
If, back in your school years, you were attracted to the lessons of general history, MHC, labor or secular culture and ethics, a win-win option for choosing a specialty would be the position of an art critic, literary writer, restoration artist or director. These professions have only one drawback - they are often poorly paid, and it is extremely difficult for many creative figures to find recognition during their lifetime. However, you definitely shouldn’t despair and quit an art academy or college: instead of a master of easel painting, you can become a famous sommelier or film critic. At the same time, it is the latter who get fame and a comfortable existence much earlier.
Signs of love
True love is manifested in actions and deeds, not in words.
Love is:
- constant care;
- desire not to cause pain;
- unlimited trust;
- spiritual intimacy;
- mutual respect;
- sacrifice, willingness to do anything for the sake of your loved one;
- the ability to let go of your loved one, as long as he is happy;
- the ability to put his interests above your own;
- the desire to become better next to him, self-improvement;
- readiness to come to the rescue, to be with your loved one not only in joy, but also in sorrow.
Love or affection - how to tell the difference?
How do you understand whether you love a person or is it just affection?
Love at first sight is a feeling as rare as falling snow on a hot July day. At first sight, you can fall in love, feel physical attraction, a soul mate, but a mature and conscious feeling comes later.
How to understand your own emotions? How is affection different from love? Let's look for the difference.
When two people date for a long time, they certainly become attached to each other. You begin to miss your loved one when he is away. You miss his hugs, his smell, his jokes, his sweet habits. But how do you understand whether you love a person or is it a habit, dependence on another person?
Attachment is very easy to confuse with love. But there is still a significant difference between them. A dependent person acts forcedly, out of fear of losing his soul mate. He restrains his real emotions, tries to guess the desires of his chosen one.
Photo: https://pixabay.com/photos/love-valentine-heart-in-love-3061483/
Affection always goes hand in hand with:
- financial dependence;
- fear of loneliness;
- feelings of guilt or gratitude;
- responsibility for your chosen one.
But love is a selfless feeling, self-sufficient. They love not for something, but in spite of everything.
Sexual relationships will help you understand that this is a habit and not love. If you are with a person out of habit, then the passion will gradually subside, and you will get headaches more and more often. Whereas a real feeling gives pleasure from intimacy, the desire to dissolve in a loved one, to give him all of yourself.
Pay attention to your diet
You are what you eat and understanding the importance of a healthy and wholesome diet is an important criterion. You won’t put bad gasoline in your favorite car or feed your child junk food, will you? Food should be varied. And in general there should be. Many workaholics exchange food for coffee, and then spend years treating stomach ulcers and their psychosomatic causes.
Love or friendship - how to determine?
In fact, a strong and good friendship always develops between lovers.
There is no better friend than a loved one, with whom you can trust and confide, with whom you can do everything together, with whom it is easy, warm and comfortable. Friendship is a new level of love, when hormones calm down, and euphoria is replaced by mutual assistance, a conscious readiness to throw yourself into fire and water after your loved one, the desire to share everything between two.
Psychologists say that if lovers become faithful and reliable friends, then together they can move mountains, they can survive all the hardships, they can share happiness and misfortune in half.
But what if a guy and a girl are just friends? Is it possible to confuse friendship with love? Of course not. Yes, these people are very close mentally, but there is no physical attraction between them. And at the same time, each of them has some secrets that are difficult to entrust to a stranger.
What are you at least “average” in?
Not every classical pianist was born talented. The best of the best were also in search of their passion. What I mean?
Well, think about it: you're not very good at fine arts. For example, you can't sketch or do perspective. But you have a relatively good sense of color and patterns.
Then think about what else you can get at least a C grade. Maybe it's marketing and branding. Combine these qualities together. Perhaps you are a fashion designer?
How do you know if you love a person?
Photo: https://pixabay.com/photos/romantic-hug-togetherness-embrace-1934223/
Advice from psychologists will help you find the answer to this difficult question.
Method 1: Test
There are many long and tedious tests that help determine whether you are in love. We offer a short rapid test that only takes a few minutes to complete.
Please answer the following questions as honestly as possible:
- Do you think about your partner before going to bed?
- Are you trying to make your loved one happy?
- Do you feel protected and calm when you are around him?
- Do you feel positive emotions when you think about your loved one?
- Do you think that your chosen one is the best in the world?
- Does separation or long separation scare you?
- Do you accept your loved one as he is, with all his shortcomings?
If you answered yes to all the questions, then you can rest assured – this is love. But if you have doubts or gave a negative answer, then this is already an alarm bell and a reason to think about your relationship.
Method 2: Pros and cons
How do you know if you truly love a person? We suggest you use a popular psychological technique - take a sheet of paper, divide it into two columns and write all the pros and cons of your chosen one.
Write its advantages in one column, and its disadvantages in the other. Have you written? Now look, which column has more points? Do disadvantages predominate? Then it's definitely not love. They don't annoy you yet, but you've noticed them. This means that over time they can turn into a reason for scandals and insults.
Are there many more advantages? Does this only confirm your love and good attitude towards your partner?
Only advantages? Think about it, are you idealizing your chosen one?
Method 3: “He’s no longer there”
Photo: https://pixabay.com/photos/girl-sadness-cold-winter-snow-1147401/
How do you know if you still love a person? We offer you a somewhat cruel, but quite effective technique.
Imagine that your chosen one is no longer there. What do you feel? Fear of loss, emptiness in the soul, hopelessness, loss? If yes, then this is true love.
Well, if you feel the strength to live without him, if you are not afraid of loss or separation, then there is no smell of high feelings here.
Method 4. Meditation
How do you understand that you love a person? Try to meditate, immerse yourself and sort out your feelings.
Turn off your phone and make sure there are no distractions. Sit comfortably in a chair or on the sofa. It is not necessary to take the “lotus” position; sit or lie down so that you are comfortable.
Focus on your breathing, don't think about other things. Imagine something good - the sea, a sunny lawn, mountains. Now think about your loved one, imagine him. What do you feel? Joy, the desire to hug, to be close to him? You love!
Or do you feel indifferent? Or maybe even worse - hostility or fear? Then your chosen one is definitely not the one you need.
Useful tips
How do you understand whether you love a person or not? Are your feelings and emotions real? What to do if you have doubts? Well, you’ll have to come down to earth, take off your rose-colored glasses and assess the situation impartially. Try to look at your relationship from the outside.
To do this, ask yourself a few questions. Just answer honestly, no need to deceive yourself.
- Are you ready to accept your chosen one if he is as poor as a church mouse? Love is a selfless feeling, which means that you should not seek benefits from your relationship.
- Are you sexually attracted to your partner or are platonic relationships enough for you? True love is the desire to possess and surrender, as if dissolving in your soulmate. Love without sex does not exist a priori. And naturally, we are talking about physical love here.
- Do you accept your chosen one as he is, with all his advantages and disadvantages? Are you ready to put up with his habits and quirks? Remember, it is impossible to change a person, no matter how hard you try. For a while, in order to please, he will do as you like, but sooner or later nature will take its toll.
- Can you trust your loved one with your most intimate things? Open your soul to him? Confess to some bad deeds? Share with him both joy and sorrow? After all, the ability to trust is one of the most important signs of love.
- Can you forgive if someone you care about confesses to something terrible? Or will you turn your back on him forever? If the need arises, will you take the blame of your loved one upon yourself in order to save him? Are you ready to sacrifice yourself?
Well, after you answer all the questions and understand your feelings, try to answer them, but from the side of your chosen one. This way you can determine if he loves you.
