Who is a phlegmatic person: characteristics of temperament, how to communicate with him

Author of the material:

Svetlana Smyshlyak

philologist, writer, lyric poet

Why is the advice of even the most popular and recognized authors or bloggers not always helpful when it comes to the art of seduction? Probably because they are too generalized and aimed only at average guys. But what happens if you select methods of seduction for a specific type of temperament, for the personality of your particular lover? How to conquer a man if he is an active choleric person, a calm phlegmatic person, a perky sanguine person or a melancholic esthete?

Definition

Phlegmatic is one of 4 types of temperament identified by Hippocrates in the 4th century BC. The word “phlegm” is translated from ancient Greek as “lymph”. It was believed that in representatives of this type, of all the fluids in the body, it is lymph that predominates, which causes bright character traits.

We discussed in detail in a separate article what temperament is. I recommend studying it.

If we describe a phlegmatic person in simple words, then this is a person who is always calm, calm and restrained.

This is the most balanced type of temperament of all. He is not at all characterized by mood swings and violent manifestations of emotions. But they cannot be called completely insensitive. They keep all their experiences deep inside, so that even their loved ones often have no idea what is going on in their souls.

Phlegmatic people are distinguished by constancy of habits and preferences, inertia, and stability. Sudden changes can unsettle them for a while, but thanks to their strong nervous system they are able to adapt to any conditions. They prefer not to consciously change anything in their usual way of life. But if they still decide to make changes, they carefully consider every little detail, weighing all the pros and cons.

Representatives of this type of temperament are distinguished by high mental abilities, prudence, and rationality. They have an analytical mind and excellent memory, which is why there are many scientists and researchers among them.

Temperament is a stable and unchanging characteristic determined by the type of nervous system. In phlegmatic people, the nervous system has the following properties:

Strong. Nerve cells are able to withstand strong and prolonged excitation without entering an inhibitory state.
Balanced. The processes of excitation and inhibition are in balance with each other.
Inert. Long-term habituation and adaptation to new stimuli.

Pure phlegmatic people, like representatives of other types of temperament, are quite rare. Usually they talk about the predominance of 1-2 types of temperament and their combination with each other. All the characteristics presented relate to pronounced phlegmatic people, so they may not manifest themselves in everyone.

Among the famous phlegmatic people are Galileo Galilei, Immanuel Kant, Joseph Stalin, Mikhail Kutuzov.

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Pros and cons of temperament

Each temperament has its own advantages and disadvantages. You need to know them in order to be able to better adapt to life: develop the advantages and compensate for the disadvantages.

Let's look at the pros first.

Work ability

Representatives of this type of temperament are hardy and tireless workers. They are diligent, disciplined, and responsible. They cope well even with monotonous and monotonous work. Attention to detail allows them to avoid mistakes and perform work to the highest standard. They make excellent scientists, analysts, and accountants.

Phlegmatic people have high self-organization, so they easily motivate themselves to work. The management does not have to “spur” them with carrots and sticks. They are not prone to procrastination, so they do everything efficiently and on time.

Some employers specifically select phlegmatic employees because they know that there will be no problems with them.

Constancy

Phlegmatic people do not change their views and beliefs. Seven Fridays in a week - this is definitely not about them. They never waste words, keep their promises and fulfill their obligations. Therefore, being around them is always like behind a stone wall.

In relationships, they show constancy and devotion, and are not inclined to change partners often. The torment of choice is alien to them; they always know in advance what thing to buy, where to go for dinner, where to spend their vacation.

Stress resistance

Under stress, phlegmatic people demonstrate amazing endurance. They can pull themselves together when circumstances require it, not give in to emotions and act rationally. It is unusual for them to panic even in critical situations. They face all difficulties head-on, without trying to escape from reality and hide their heads in the sand.

Diplomacy

Phlegmatic people can easily find a common language with representatives of all other types of temperament. They are non-conflict, polite, tactful, have a good sense of other people's boundaries and do not violate them. Making friends with phlegmatic people is a pleasure. Close people can always count on their support and help.

Perfectionism

Phlegmatic people place high demands on themselves. Therefore, they try to do any work perfectly. Perfectionists are very attentive to detail and will not miss a single detail. Their pedantry helps them complete every task they start. They can't do otherwise!

As you can see, phlegmatic people have a lot of advantages. They, as a rule, are well aware of their strengths and focus on them. They know how to appreciate what they have, do not envy other people’s strong qualities and do not try to seem like someone else. Therefore, their inner life is harmonious and calm, there is no place for conflicts and contradictions.

Now let's look at the disadvantages.

Difficulties in communication

All phlegmatic people are introverts. They find it difficult to meet new people. To strangers they give the impression of being distant, indifferent and unsociable silent people, although this is not the case. We have already found out that those who are lucky enough to become close to a phlegmatic person will find a faithful and reliable friend in him.

They do not like noisy companies, avoid attention to themselves, and spend most of their time alone. Because of their emotional restraint, people often think that phlegmatic people are callous crackers, incapable of experiencing deep feelings. This prevents them from building relationships.

Inertia

Phlegmatic people do not tolerate change well and adapt to new conditions. They love stability and constancy. These people plan their lives and try to strictly adhere to the plan. They are not capable of spontaneous actions.

Passivity

Phlegmatic people are not at all ambitious. Therefore, their outstanding mental abilities often turn out to be unrealized. What’s interesting is that they are absolutely satisfied with this arrangement. They are not ready to sacrifice psychological comfort and stability for the sake of the race for success.

At work

The phlegmatic type is easy to recognize in a work environment.

Such people are quite efficient and can perform tasks even in the absence of favorable conditions.
Phlegmatic people are neat and prone to monotonous work.
They are excellent performers. Such individuals become excellent jewelers and accountants.
Despite the fact that they are quite unsociable, they can achieve great heights in a profession that is based on communication. The main thing is that these specialties do not require active action or improvisation.
Such individuals very rarely occupy leadership positions and get along well with colleagues.
This type of temperament does not allow a person to participate in public speaking.
Such an employee is difficult to lift. However, if he is already doing something, he is unlikely to stop until he completes it.
A phlegmatic person always calculates his plans ahead, using only proven methods in the work process.
They rarely occupy the position of manager because they cannot demand career advancement from their superiors and are unable to demonstrate their talents. In fact, a person with this temperament can become a thoughtful boss. When in rare cases there are managers among phlegmatic people, they seem strict and unfriendly due to the fact that there is low communication skills and inertia.
Such a person will never publicly punish employees for mistakes, but will remember this for a long time.

Recommendations for phlegmatic people

Phlegmatic people should not perceive their shortcomings as a death sentence. By showing persistence (of which they have more than enough), you can smooth out unwanted manifestations of temperament. The following tips will help with this.

Unleash your feelings

Phlegmatic people are very stingy in showing emotions, so they may seem cold and callous to others. This often interferes with their relationships with more emotional partners. But under the mask of indifference hides a sensitive and subtle soul, capable of loving, dreaming, and empathizing.

Representatives of this type of temperament need to learn to free their feelings from the yoke of reason and sincerely express them. You don't have to do this often. But at least sometimes it is still necessary to let your loved ones know how much you love and appreciate them. Let it look forced and unnatural at first. Over time, you will learn to choose the right words.

Get out of your comfort zone

Phlegmatic people are so attached to comfort that they often sacrifice self-realization for it. They need to learn to be more flexible and not be afraid of change. This will open up new opportunities for developing strengths.

Start with small changes. Rearrange your home, change the cafe where you usually have lunch, start taking a new route to work. Gradually get used to the novelty, and it will no longer cause you discomfort and unsettle you.

Read on our blog what a comfort zone is and how to leave it.

Play sports

Sports will help sluggish and slow phlegmatic people to tone up. Most of them lead a sedentary lifestyle and suffer from a lack of vital energy. Their blood circulation is slow, and the brain suffers from this.

Choose moderately active activities that do not require quick reactions. Running, cycling, swimming, strength training, and exercise equipment are perfect.

Communicate more

Phlegmatic people are pronounced introverts, just like melancholic people. But if the latter feel the need for communication and suffer from loneliness, then the former can feel great without any social contacts.

As you can imagine, this is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, the phlegmatic person is self-sufficient and independent, and on the other hand, he is maximally isolated and alienated from society. With age, this isolation only gets worse.

You need to establish and maintain social connections, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Look for people with similar interests. Communication with them will bring bright colors to your calm, measured life.

Choleric: strengths

Emotional sphere
Choleric people are born leaders, dynamic and active, constantly in need of change. They always consider it necessary to correct other people's mistakes; they have a strong will and determination. They are independent and self-sufficient, unflappable, it is difficult to deprive them of self-confidence, and they spread this confidence to others. Capable of taking on any task.
As a parent
Confidently takes a leadership role in the home, defines goals and motivates family members to take action to achieve them, always finds a way out of any situation, and organizes the household.
At work
Focused on results, thinks big and is not distracted by details, copes well with organizational work, looks for the most practical solutions to assigned tasks, quickly moves from theory to action, knows how to correctly distribute responsibilities, is focused on productivity, sets goals for the entire team, stimulates activity, needs competition.
On friendly terms
Does not depend much on friends, takes upon himself the organization of any group activity, plays the role of a leader, is often right in any matter, and has excellent self-control in emergency situations.

How to communicate with a phlegmatic person

Now let’s move on to recommendations for people who have phlegmatic people in their social circle:

Don't expect them to show any strong emotions. Phlegmatic people only seem indifferent, but in fact they are capable of sincere, deep feelings. Therefore, do not be offended by their apparent coldness.
Respect their need to be alone. Communication takes a lot of their energy, so they sometimes need to be alone with themselves.
Keep promises and honor agreements. Phlegmatic people cannot stand irresponsible idle talk.
Share their hobbies. Representatives of this type of temperament are interesting, enthusiastic, and versatile people. They prefer to spend time productively. Therefore, if you share their hobbies, you will always have something to do together.

Famous people are choleric

Among the world famous people, choleric people are and were (from left to right):

Do you know these people - choleric people?

Oprah Winfrey,
Phil McGraw
Donald Trump
Bill Gates,
Peter I Alekseevich,
Alexander Vasilievich Suvorov,
Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin,
Dmitri Ivanovich Mendeleev.

Mozhaeva Taisiya · Jan 29, 2020

Phlegmatic man

A phlegmatic man is calm, balanced, and silent. He has a strong character, an iron will and embodies the qualities of an ideal family man. A woman next to such a man will feel like behind a stone wall. He is reliable, loyal, non-jealous and non-conflict. He goes to work regularly, spends his free time most often at home, and is unpretentious in food and everyday life.

But the companion of a phlegmatic person should not expect romantic actions from him. For him, even just giving flowers is a feat. He is pragmatic and stingy with emotions. If the girl is ready to come to terms with his apparent coldness, then a happy and long union awaits them. A phlegmatic man is constant in his preferences and is not at all inclined to change partners often.

Choleric: weaknesses

Emotional sphere
He likes to command others, is impatient, quick-tempered and impulsive, is constantly under tension, loves arguments and disagreements, does not know how to admit that he is wrong, is too stubborn and unyielding, unfriendly and unsympathetic, does not like tears and violent emotions.
As a parent
Strives to dominate in everything, is too demanding of family members, makes hasty decisions, does not tolerate bad results, demands too much from children, which can lead them to depression.
At work
Does not tolerate mistakes, does not take into account details, does not tolerate routine, can make rash decisions, is often rude and tactless, manipulates people, is demanding of others, believes that the end justifies the means, often becomes a workaholic, and demands loyalty from subordinates.
Read also: Stages of psychological counseling and their features
As a friend
Often uses people for his own purposes, is used to dominating in relationships, knows everything better than others, makes decisions for everyone else, is too independent, bosses around friends and partner, does not know how to ask for forgiveness. He defends his point of view too aggressively, which others do not like, even if his opinion is correct.

Phlegmatic woman

A phlegmatic woman is calm, emotionally stable, and rational. She never throws hysterics and doesn’t lose her mind, which causes admiration from men. She approaches the choice of a life partner rationally. Carefully evaluates each candidate, weighs the pros and cons and only then makes a decision.

It is impossible to “bribe” her with beautiful romantic gestures and actions. For her, this is empty tinsel. In men, she values not romance and recklessness, but reliability and material wealth. Therefore, you need to try very hard to please such a woman. But once she makes her choice, she will hold on to it and become a wonderful and faithful wife.

Outwardly, a phlegmatic woman can be recognized by her slow, smooth movements, restrained facial expressions, and low and quiet voice. She carefully monitors her appearance and always looks great.

Phlegmatic child

A quiet, obedient, silent phlegmatic child does not cause parents any trouble. He doesn’t get into trouble, doesn’t violate prohibitions, doesn’t throw tantrums, and doesn’t conflict with anyone. He studies diligently at school, listens to teachers, and behaves modestly and politely.

Such a child loves to immerse himself in thought and from early childhood demonstrates outstanding mental abilities. He enjoys solving puzzles, putting together jigsaw puzzles, and playing board intellectual games. You can leave him alone with an interesting book for several hours - he will calmly study it.

The main problems for phlegmatic people are caused by tasks that require a quick reaction. Their nervous system is inert, so they react more slowly than other children. Parents and teachers need to be aware of this feature so as not to pressure or push such children.

Errors in upbringing can lead to a child growing up as a passive, lazy and infantile adult who does not want to take responsibility for his life. Parents need to encourage independence, hard work and perseverance in their son or daughter from childhood.

Playing sports will help shake up a sluggish phlegmatic person a little, making him more active and energetic. It is better to choose individual sports that do not require quick reactions and rough competition.

Relationship Compatibility

We have already found out that phlegmatic people easily get along with representatives of all types of temperament. However, with some of them the love union turns out to be more successful than with others.

With a phlegmatic person

It is with a representative of his temperament that a phlegmatic person is able to build an ideal relationship. In such a couple, both are calm, patient and understand each other perfectly.

They are reliable, loyal and conservative. Family comes first for them, and they are ready to turn a blind eye to each other’s shortcomings in order to save the marriage. However, sometimes conflicts may arise due to the stubbornness of both, but, as a rule, they do not reach the acute phase.

With a melancholic person

Such a union is quite possible, although the compatibility of these temperaments is considered average. Both partners are introverts, which means their lifestyles and habits are similar. They prefer solitude to noisy companies; they like to sit at home and spend time doing quiet activities.

The main differences concern emotionality. If a phlegmatic person is cold-blooded, calm and rational, then a melancholic person is sensitive, vulnerable and anxious. This discrepancy can lead to conflicts over time. The melancholic person will suffer from a lack of expressions of love from the partner, and the phlegmatic person will be irritated by the pessimism and emotionality of the melancholic person.

With a sanguine person

A phlegmatic person and a sanguine person do not get along well together. At first, the first may be attracted by the activity and energy of the second, but soon he will begin to be irritated by the frivolity and inconsistency inherent in the sanguine person.

And over time, the sanguine person will begin to tire of the conservatism and tediousness of the phlegmatic person. He will want to escape from the captivity of rules and strict routines to where life is in full swing.

With a choleric person

Such a union is considered strong and harmonious, despite strong differences in character. Phlegmatic and choleric, like yin and yang, complement each other. A prudent phlegmatic person carefully weighs every step, unlike a determined choleric person who always cuts from the shoulder. Together they manage to reach a golden mean.

An explosive choleric person next to a phlegmatic person becomes calmer and more restrained, and the latter “comes to life” next to a more energetic partner.

Introductory information

What can reveal a phlegmatic personality in a crowd? Sluggish facial expressions and gestures, slow gait, quiet and intermittent speech without any emotional intonation accents or leaps. Often these are overweight people, since they prefer physical activity to a more “quiet” pastime, and also do not mind having a snack during this.

But, returning to the beginning of the article, can we call our today's heroes lazy? Their slowness and abstraction are not at all a desire to take time away from work or solving problems. It’s just that these people adequately assess their own energy charge and are in no hurry to waste energy on fuss.

This is how psychologists characterize phlegmatic people:

Passive individuals who do not approve of risk;
thoughtful, rational, excellent logicians, statisticians and analysts;
peaceful, calm and stable in personal interests;
unsociable and introverted;

conservative people who do not tolerate any kind of changes and changes;
fast learners, with good long-term memory and the ability to quickly find the right solutions;
attentive to people and events happening around them.

Despite the conspicuous weak expressiveness and external lethargy, a phlegmatic person can also lose his temper from time to time. At the same time, the stress trigger for such a person is not threats of dismissal from an unfair boss, but, for example, buying new clothes or moving to another apartment. Even if all this can significantly improve the standard of living of this person.

Changing surroundings, habits and furnishings is a nightmare for phlegmatic individuals.

However, such individuals tolerate stressful situations much easier than people with other types of temperament. But, there is one “but”. At the peak of an emotionally charged moment, they can simply “disconnect from reality”, ceasing to react to what is happening in general.

In addition to the above, phlegmatic people tend to collect/accumulate discontent and resentment. Everything would be fine, but sooner or later, the dam that fetters negative emotions “breaks” and those around you are washed away by a wave of crushing anger that no one can stop.

Fortunately, it’s not so easy to bring our heroes to the point of “white heat” .

Suitable professions

Phlegmatic people should choose a profession based on their strengths. A job with a clearly defined range of responsibilities and a standard schedule is suitable for them.

The less they are disturbed in the workplace, the better, because they need peace and quiet to concentrate on the process. You should avoid professions that involve constant movement and communication with people.

Suitable professions: