Hello, friends.
Today I want to ask you, do you know how to endure, can you be patient? Or you don't even like the word. Most likely no. Usually we want to get everything at once, and if this does not happen, we become very disappointed or even depressed. In this article I will tell you how to learn patience and restraint, how to become a patient person, I will also tell you about humility and tolerance.
What is the use of patience?
Grit helps reduce stress, improve health, and achieve success. Every time you feel like your patience is running out, think about how many benefits it has.
First of all, this is a trait of successful people. On the way to the top, talent and luck are not enough. Successful people admit that behind their success lies years of hard work and mistakes. But if you develop yourself, falls will not be the end of the world, but just another step towards the goal.
Patience is also a characteristic characteristic of wise people who learn the right lessons from life’s mistakes. This helps to remain calm in unexpected situations.
The power of patience
In life you cannot live without patience. Do you want to become healthy, happy people. Whether you want to achieve certain goals, become financially prosperous, or do something worthwhile in life, you must learn to wait and know how to be patient.
After all, for example, health cannot be obtained immediately. A person has abused his body for a long time, and when his body gives in and gets sick, he wants to take some pill and get cured right away. But that doesn't happen.
It is on this unrealistic desire of the patient that a lot of money is made. Supposedly magic pills are invented, all kinds of consultations and promises of unrealistically quick healings are offered. A person finds a miracle remedy on the Internet and immediately buys it. But he doesn’t want to work on himself, on his health.
But this is the only way, mainly on your own, you can become healthy and happy. Doctors only help the body heal, especially in severe cases when surgery is needed. He must do all the main work himself. The body has enormous powers of self-healing. We need to take care of our own health and humbly wait for the results. And for this you need to develop patience. And so in all areas of life.
What does endurance depend on?
Before answering the question of how to develop patience, it is important to understand what character traits such a skill depends on.
Adequate perception of opportunities. Many people tend to overestimate their potential. Why persist so much? Admitting your mistake is sometimes the best solution.
1. The ability to move forward. An uncontrollable person stops as soon as the puzzles stop adding up. The stubborn one shows willpower, tries again and again... He will try until he can find the answer.
2. The ability to do quality work. Irresistible people often work according to the principle of just falling behind. In this case, it’s worth looking at your work from the outside. If you were the manager, how would you evaluate the result?
3. The ability to wait. For some people, waiting drives them to despair. And this is a mistake and stress for the body. If nothing can be changed in a specific situation, it is worth developing the attitude: everything has its time. You just need to use your willpower and be patient.
Only successful people achieve success!
This suggests that you need to set a goal and achieve it. Motivation will help. Think about the benefits you will get from learning self-restraint. So:
- There is no need to strive to conquer great peaks. Start small.
- Never stop halfway. Bring the matter to completion by any means, just not illegal, of course.
- Don’t despair if something doesn’t work out, don’t give up, try again and again.
- Do not be too strict with your own personality, do not scold for wrongdoing. Learn to be patient with yourself first.
- If it has completely dried up, count to ten and back.
- Try to distract yourself by thinking about pleasant things. Let's say about your upcoming vacation or what you'll cook for dinner, how you'll spend the weekend.
And most importantly, do not forget that learning patience will not happen quickly. This will require a lot of time and effort.
How to develop patience and endurance on your own?
The good news is that these skills can be trained like muscles. And isn’t personal development about overcoming one’s imperfections? Having realized this, you can develop your own instructions and begin working on your willpower.
1. Ignoring negative emotions. When something irritates you so much that your anger is about to burst out, you should count to 10 and take a few deep breaths. And even if it is not possible to overcome irritation, the emotional level will be reduced. As soon as possible, take a walk, read a book, or even better, go to the gym.
2. Connecting the imagination. Create a picture in your head of what will happen as a result of your patience or impatience. Psychologists note that this allows you to rethink your attitude to what is happening.
3. Develop a different schedule. Don't make the mistake of leaving unfinished business. Try to distribute them so that you move sequentially from task to task. Let it be like clear instructions. Jumping back and forth on the steps will achieve nothing but irritation.
4. Keeping a diary. Write down what you feel, analyze the circumstances. Do this whenever the situation is at risk of getting out of control.
5. Creating a complete picture. Remember that achievement takes time. Read success stories of famous people. Look for the positive in everything.
6. Restart. Life is like a roller coaster. Therefore, it is important to find time to “unplug”: do not watch TV or read the news. At first, such a habit will be difficult to develop, but later you will appreciate the effect. Don't make the mistake of giving yourself a break.
How an impulsive way of thinking is formed
How can we learn patience and restraint when the entire modern service sector, including the Internet, is developing in the direction that we can find ways to satisfy our slightest wishes faster and better? It cannot be said that this is definitely bad or good, it is simply a fact, and it is worth recognizing it. But does this direction have such a good effect on us? How does this constant impatience and inability to wait affect our health, both physical and mental?
Walking past a coffee shop and hearing the amazing aroma of freshly brewed coffee, your first desire will be to buy a cup of latte to take your foot off. Both in the morning and on the way home. Why not, because I want to! And after a hard week at work, it’s so nice to go to a shopping center, be inspired by its atmosphere and at the same time buy yourself a brand new pair of shoes. And when buying a car, you only have to look at the advertisement to understand what you really need! She won’t lie, because there’s absolutely no point in saving on something you’re going to use every day, right?
And this pleasure, as it seems, is not so expensive. A slightly larger loan for a car simply drowns in daily expenses and does not at all bear a catastrophic burden, many justify themselves. Until, in any case, they begin to track all their expenses and notice that even such little things as delicious coffee twice a day can put a heavy burden on the family budget.
The inability to be patient - and this is exactly what it is - leads to the fact that many of us try to prevent even a moment in which our instantly arising desires remain unsatisfied. Does this always work out? No, of course, not always.
Our brain, due to the specifics of its work, strives to minimize the body’s efforts. In addition, he tries to minimize all unpleasant sensations, increasing the number of pleasant ones. It sounds great, but by giving in to every impulsive impulse, we create not the best habits, which are nevertheless remembered very well by the body. Of course, because they lead to instant pleasure: delicious food, spontaneous purchases and other pleasant sensations.
Instructions for parents: become an example for children
Children, as a rule, begin to learn to control their desires by the age of 5-6 years. But this does not mean that earlier you do not need to develop patience and let events take their course. You can always sculpt, draw, color pictures, assemble construction sets, at first devoting 10 minutes a day to this.
To develop patience in children, parents themselves will need considerable endurance. The instructions offered by psychologists will help you cope with this difficult task.
1. Switch your attention. The easiest way to develop the first self-control skills is to use the need to expect something in the game.
2. Encourage patience. Not everything needs to be handed to your child on a silver platter. Encouragement must be earned, including for patience. For a baby, waiting is truly heroic.
3. Explain as much as necessary. Don't make the mistake of trying to talk to your child about patience in terms of time. You shouldn’t ask him to “wait 5 minutes.” It is better to use the format: “When you eat (put away your toys, change clothes), we will go for a walk (visit, watch cartoons).”
4. Teach independence. Give him the opportunity to do what he can do on his own. Help, guide the child, but also remain calm yourself: do not rush to do it for him, because it’s faster.
5. And most importantly, set an example for your child. Parents wondering how to develop patience in their child should understand that the baby, like a sponge, absorbs the behavior of his parents. In an era of total employment, many people believe that it is easier to buy anything. However, conditions of maximum comfort do not develop willpower and diligence.
Set a good example for your child. For his sake, it is worth starting to change for the better, becoming a role model .
Never take manifestations of intolerance as failure. It’s hard to just start, but then, along with the desire to develop patience and calmness, the willpower to win more and more appears. The ability to remain calm in different situations can truly change your life for the better.
Impatience as a cause of illness
I keep trying to show you on this blog that negative thoughts and emotions lead to physical illness and mental imbalance.
And it is precisely the lack of patience that gives rise to a flurry of all kinds of bad thoughts and emotions, which means that sooner or later you will get sick.
Everything is interconnected. You can't expect improvements in your life because you're unhappy with what you have now. You can't stand in line because people annoy you and you're always in a hurry. You cannot be patient with your children and your loved one, which means you are angry with them and demand that their behavior correspond to your ideas. That is, there is an interdependent process here.
The presence within you of incorrect attitudes and negative manifestations of the psyche gives rise to impatience. But the very lack of patience entails a new flurry of bad thoughts and emotions. All this drains our strength and leads to an imbalance in the psycho-emotional sphere. Here you have nervous exhaustion, depression, neuroses, as well as all kinds of body diseases. So if you want to be healthy, learn to be patient.
Formula for success.
To get worthwhile results you need 4 things:
- Talents
- Time
- Patience
- Mentor
Everyone has talents, you too. How to identify them, read our article “How to find out your strengths. Advice from psychologist Kristina Kudryavtseva.”
Everyone also has patience, but not every person can use it.
As for time: it is the same for everyone - 24 hours a day. And those who know how to use it correctly reach good heights. To learn this, we recommend reading our article “All about biorhythms and performance from nutritionist Natalya Shulga.”
A mentor appears when a person needs help. No other conditions, no other reason allows him to appear in your life. But pride, often fear, do not allow you to accept the help of a mentor.
If you want to create your own business, find a loved one, learn a foreign language, draw a picture and achieve other goals, remember the simplest formula that will help you learn to be patient and not rush things:
- Identify your talent.
- Allow sufficient time to learn specific skills
- Be patient.
- Be sure to find a mentor who can help you do all this.
Thus, you will get the results that you have long wanted to achieve, but could not get. People give up too quickly, which is why they don’t see results. It is very important to understand that you can achieve anything if you learn patience. If you can’t do it on your own, contact a mentor.
Live with peace in your soul
It is necessary to accept any situation that happens to you, and also live in harmony with yourself and the world. For example, a person gets sick. He can only be healed if he accepts and understands the illness. It is important to understand why he came into his life, what needs to be corrected. Same with other unfavorable incidents. Until you accept it, unfortunately, nothing will be fixed. We continue to understand the question of how to learn humility and patience.
When calmness comes in your soul, and you realize that the situation does not bother or irritate, does not bring pain, humility has set in. And in no case should you assume that humility and acceptance are weakness. These internal qualities help you take the right actions on the external level.
Summary. What can you achieve?
In the middle of the last century, a professor at Stanford University studied the willpower of children as young as 4 years old.
He put a treat in front of them and said that they could eat it right away, or they could wait 15 minutes and get a double portion.
The professor left the room and looked through a special window to see how the children behaved.
The result is that only 30% of the children were able to wait, the rest gave in to temptation.
Observing these children in subsequent years, the professor discovered that those children who could not wait had more difficulties in life than the patient children.
Patience can be difficult sometimes
Everyone knows that waiting is difficult. The modern world offers quick access to information, fast food and quick answers to your deepest questions.
But lack of patience is a barrier to perfection. Patience is a purifying work that sharpens understanding, enhances happiness, and improves actions.
If you have children, you understand that indulging their every desire is unwise. Abundance spoils children. For children to mature and have high potential, they must learn to wait patiently.
To have patience, you need faith in a positive outcome.
Brigham Young asked God to give him patience and wait for the hour when he would understand everything himself.
Very often the depth of our present becomes clear to us only from the heights of our future. In other words, we do not see what is happening under our noses until we have the experience to see it.
Difficult times in life almost always turn out to be important building blocks of our future, we need to be patient to gain experience and understand that everything in life goes according to plan and everything will be fine in the end, and rushing gets in the way of living and enjoying life.
Spirit and patience
Psalm 1. Bible. Text, audio, when to read Psalm 1.
Patience means not deviating from the chosen path and going to the end, it means curbing anger, it means resisting evil, even when it seems that it makes others more successful.
Patience is the acceptance of what cannot be changed, it is firmness and perseverance, it is a process of self-improvement.
The Bible says, “By your patience you will save your souls.” That is, with faith and patience you can achieve a lot.
Patience is sure to be rewarded
What happens over time? You will be able to reap the fruits only after long work on yourself and your emotions. The fruits will be discipline of mind and body.
Of course, it will not give you a house or a car, but it will help in personal and social growth, and will also affect the speed of fulfillment of your desires.
Without patience, it is simply impossible to move up the corporate ladder in the business world, and without it you will certainly never be able to break into elite society.
Patience is precisely the value that influences motivation, meaning and choice.
How to “negotiate” with your emotions and stop suppressing them
Emotions are one of the most important inventions of evolution. Each feeling has a specific function, but the most important thing is that with the help of emotions we express our attitude towards something. When we are irritated or angry. What does this tell us?
Our subconscious mind tells us that we are not satisfied with the current situation. For this, our consciousness can only say “thank you.” Now I understand that I don't like standing in this line. Only this feeling of gratitude will help reduce irritation from the current situation. You took the signal, accepted it with a smile and understanding.
If you're going somewhere where you expect to spend time queuing, tell yourself in advance - I know I don't like standing in line. I remember this, you don’t have to remind me. The next step is how can I use this unpleasant situation for me? Read a book? Reply to letters? Listen to your favorite music? Work?
What to read on the topic of developing patience
#Bookadvice.
Steve McHletchie. From urgent to important We recommend:
- Steve McCletchy, From Urgent to Important.
- Greg McKeon "Essentialism".
- Helen Russell "Hygge, cozy happiness the Danish way."
- Jon Kabat-Zinn “Wherever you go, you are already there.”
- Dan Harris "The Scum in Your Head"
- Daniel Siegel "Mindsight".
- Thich Nhat Hanh "Peace in every step."
- Charlotte Yoko Beck "Zen in Love and Work."
- "The Perfectionist Paradox" by Tala Ben-Shahar.
- Barbara Sher "Better late than never."
- Dominique Loro "The Art of Living Simply."
- Eckhart Tolle "The Power of Now."
- Osho “Mindfulness. The key to life is balance."
