Balance imbalance
Many people complain that they cannot collect their “nerves in a box”, restrain themselves in order to maintain balance and not incite an impending conflict, get rid of feelings of nervousness and anxiety, or “come to their senses” after emotional shock or stress.
There are more than enough circumstances in life that provoke a surge of emotions: exams, job interviews, concluding important deals, sorting things out with superiors or a loved one... But you never know the things in life that can throw us off balance. An unbalanced person can explode and say too much, cry, commit an inappropriate act, which he will later regret - and thereby spoil not only his impression of himself, but also close off some opportunities for himself. There are two ways to overcome emotional crises. The first is to restrain emotions , which is not the best, since by suppressing emotions in ourselves, we risk accumulating a critical mass of negativity inside - and a real emotional explosion will occur. The second is to learn to control yourself and control your emotions. This path is more productive.
Reasons for increased emotionality
Increased emotionality is a mentality characterized by easily occurring excitability in response to weak and moderate stimuli.
People in this case are characterized by tearfulness, demonstrative displays of joy, anxiety, and frequent outbursts of anger and irritability.
Such individuals easily change their mood and instantly lose the ability to self-control during experiences. Under the influence of their emotions, they stop assessing the situation objectively.
The main reasons for the instability of the emotional sphere:
- Features of temperament.
A person can be given a flexible psyche from birth. Due to his nature, from childhood he will show vivid emotional reactions to any events, and under the influence of external stimuli this feature will only worsen. - Psychological trauma. Various traumatic situations in the form of a serious illness, death of a loved one, violent acts, moral suppression can lead to serious emotional problems. Under the influence of negative factors, a person becomes more irritable, insecure and anxious, and this leads to increased emotionality.
- Stress. Chronic lack of sleep, intense physical and mental stress, conflict situations in the family or at work - all this negatively affects human behavior. Constant overvoltage leads to depletion of internal resources. The ability to self-regulate is significantly weakened.
- Endocrine imbalance .
Changes in hormonal levels can directly affect the emotional state and the ability to self-control. It is for this reason that the problem is often observed in adolescents, pregnant women, and patients with pathologies of the adrenal glands and thyroid gland. - Vascular diseases. With hypotension, hypertension, and atherosclerosis, the blood supply to the nervous tissue is disrupted. This provokes the emergence of affective reactions.
- Neurological problems. With traumatic brain injuries and tumors, behavioral problems are observed.
- Mental disorders. Neuroses, psychopathy, dementia are always accompanied by instability of the emotional sphere.
Take care of yourself
It is important to understand for yourself how an emotional breakdown manifests itself in you. One person breaks down into aggression, the second suddenly begins to cry, the third is speechless. You should carefully study your own reactions and build the situation in such a way as to protect yourself in the eyes of others. Therefore, if you feel that your emotions are starting to get out of control, take care that the consequences of an emotional outburst do not affect your career, do not spoil your public speaking, or make you feel ashamed or embarrassed in front of witnesses of your weakness.
Coping with fatigue
Control over emotions weakens when a person is tired. You should not accumulate fatigue or fight it. Give yourself permission to relax, change your surroundings, treat yourself to something pleasant. Relaxing in nature, partying with trusted friends, or going shopping for fun purchases will help shift your energy to positive things and reduce the risk of an emotional breakdown with negative consequences. Physical work helps a lot, just don’t forget that physical work should be enjoyable. During a break or vacation, strengthen your nervous system. To do this, you may have to do meditation, yoga, or sports exercises. Walking, during which you can, for example, collect pebbles or take photographs, will not hurt. Don't forget that creativity heals. Think about forgotten hobbies, read a book that you have long put aside to read. Sit by the water, free yourself from obsessive thoughts, listen to the birds singing or just watch the fish in the aquarium.
Several theoretical provisions about reducing emotionality
Some people are very emotional by nature - it's part of their personality, temperament
.
As with other similar traits, emotionality cannot simply be removed. But if it bothers you, you can work on it
, although this will certainly require a lot of effort and time, and possibly the participation of a specialist: a psychologist or psychotherapist. However, in general, it is possible to cope with excessive emotionality, and below we will give some tips.
Many of us have been taught from childhood not to show true emotions.
, for example, because it is “indecent”, “good boys/girls don’t cry”, “tears don’t suit you”, “don’t you dare be offended by me”, etc. Those who make such maxims usually do not know how to cope with their own emotions - and, consequently, with others. As a rule, such people do not know how to console, recognize the right of a child or another person to be angry/resentful/fatigue, etc., and do not know how to talk about their feelings. And if a person does not know how to deal with something, it is easier for him to prohibit it - both for himself and for those close to him (primarily children, who are in a “subordinate” position to them).
Two problems arise from this approach:
- even in adulthood, many do not know how to work with their own emotions
; - we grow up with the conviction that all feelings and their external manifestations must be hidden
.
Often the desire to become less emotional is due precisely to the fact that a person thinks that his reactions are too vivid, that it is indecent
, etc. Although in fact such an opinion may not correspond to reality and a person should not remove emotionality as such. But even if emotions are strong, it is better to allow yourself to express them, talk about them, etc., but do it environmentally - that is, do not dump on your interlocutor something that you may later regret, that can hurt, offend, etc.
Also, the desire to become less emotional/emotional may be associated with low self-esteem
. Fear of standing out and/or doing something wrong, feelings of unworthiness, and other reasons can lead people to hide their feelings from others and reduce their emotionality. Here it is important to deal with the cause, not the effect, and if this issue is relevant to you, read our article on how to increase self-esteem.
Sometimes too strong emotional reactions that you don’t like and that you can’t control (especially if they weren’t typical for you before) are a sign that it’s better to turn to specialists. They will determine the exact problem (if there is one at all) and in what area it lies. For example, sometimes excessive emotionality is associated with improper functioning of the thyroid gland or a deficiency of certain elements.
Breathe deeper
If you feel stress coming over you, stop, take a comfortable position, relax, breathe deeply and slowly, try to get rid of the rush. There is no need to be afraid of being late - remember that your calmness is the key to efficiency in any work. Analyze your own emotions: try to understand what exactly unsettles you, what is the trigger for emotions. You should not skimp on time if you want to devote it to “putting things in order” inside. Clear thoughts are a guarantee that emotions will not overwhelm you unexpectedly. Favorite music will help bring emotions and thoughts into a state of harmony. You should not listen to something new in critical situations. Familiar, calm music will work well; it will relieve stress and return emotions to normal.
Don't be afraid to see a therapist
If you are increasingly unable to control your emotions, and the suppression of emotions has a depressing effect on your mood, in addition, you are confused and cannot calm down on your own, and the “outbursts” of adrenaline inside plunge you into a state of melancholy or fear - you should think about a visit to a psychologist, psychotherapist. A professional in his field will help you understand the intricacies of cause and effect, remember forgotten nervous shocks and difficult impressions in order to experience them consciously and part with them. By the way, a reliable friend or girlfriend can play the role of a psychotherapist. You can, of course, rely on your loved one in these matters, but this is fraught with consequences. Close, loving people are impressionable, and if you “load” such a person, the relationship may suffer, and the feeling of awkwardness and guilt may push you away from the one who involuntarily became a “vest” for you. However, if there is unconditional trust and spiritual closeness between you and a loved one, then you can even give free rein to tears. After crying, you will free your psyche from unnecessary emotions.
Is it possible to learn to suppress it?
Is it possible to become an emotionless person?
Suppression of emotions is an active influence on strong feelings, the purpose of which is to destroy these experiences.
It is important not to confuse suppressing emotions with controlling them, with managing them.
Control refers to the influence on emotions of medium strength, and control refers to the coordination of calm emotions. In the case of suppression, we are talking only about strong, pronounced experiences.
It is possible to learn to suppress external manifestations of feelings, but it is recommended to do this only in isolated cases. For example, when the demonstration of experiences is unacceptable in a particular place.
To suppress an emotion, it is necessary, at the moment of its occurrence, to put up an internal barrier for yourself that categorically prohibits any external action. This can only be done if you have a strong will and the ability to control yourself.
Constant, systematic suppression of emotions will lead to serious health and mental problems, so this is not recommended.
The best way out of a crisis situation is not to fight your feelings, but to change the situation itself (as far as possible).
For example, if you show negative emotions while communicating with a specific person, you can simply stop this communication. In this case, there will be no need to suppress internal experiences, since the source of their occurrence will be eliminated.
