How to become insensitive and cold?

More and more people, especially teenagers, are interested in how to become insensitive. Emotions are good. But not always. Life is unpredictable, there are ups and downs. And it is precisely the latter that can seriously injure some particularly emotional, kind, sympathetic and vulnerable people. If this happens regularly, you have to somehow abstract yourself from the situation. And the question that comes to many people’s minds is how to become cold and insensitive. Just to no longer feel pain, not to feel the sorrow of failure. This is not the best solution, but in some situations it is the only way to escape. There are several tips that will definitely help you bring this idea to life.

Not everything is given

Just take your time. First, think carefully about whether this is how you want to rid yourself of emotions. They are often more difficult to restore than to eliminate. By the way, not everyone is given the gift of being insensitive.

Remember: few people experience a true absence of emotions. Usually cruelty and composure are in a person’s blood. If there is a predisposition to these traits, then solving our today’s issue will be easy and simple. Otherwise, you will literally step on your own throat and your internal structure.

Often sympathetic, kind people think about how to become an insensitive person. And not vindictive. They will have to work very seriously on themselves. As practice shows, such people are not able to really bring the idea to life. Only for a while. And then there will be a feeling of guilt inside. But true composure does not allow this.

What is alexithymia called?

Alexithymia is a psychological phenomenon in which a person has difficulty describing his emotions and experiences.
Those who suffer from alexithymia find it difficult to reflect and express their feelings and experiences. In addition, such people are impulsive and cannot accurately determine their condition. It is difficult for them to fantasize and specify their feelings. Most often, those suffering from alexithymia never dream and remain cold to the emotions and experiences of other people. Among the reasons that can lead to the development of alexithymia are both physiological, that is, congenital, and psychological. Here are the main ones.

Disruption of interaction between the right and left hemispheres of the brain. As a result of this disorder, the left hemisphere does not recognize emotional experiences that arise in the right hemisphere.
Genetic defects in brain development or age-related changes associated with impaired blood supply to the brain.
Suffered severe psychological trauma. In this case, alexithymia is a protective reaction of the brain to external factors.
High level of anxiety, severe feelings of shame, guilt for one’s own emotions.
Difficult relationships with parents and emotional conflicts in childhood can also lead to the development of alexithymia. Most often, manifestations of the phenomenon are encountered by those who in childhood had either insensitive or overprotective parents.

Return to suffering

The first rule that can help is to return to your suffering. Every person has some memories that bring pain or great resentment. These are the ones you will have to turn to in your subconscious every time you are overcome with positive emotions.

It usually becomes very painful to experience negative moments at first. But at one point this feeling disappears. And you stop caring. Once you achieve this, it will be easier to solve the problem.

Try to remember all the negative events at once, en masse. Only then can you fully answer how to become insensitive. Yes, it may seem impossible, but with continued practice, you will notice clear changes in your behavior.

How to become an emotionless cold creature?

In addition to the fact that the lifestyle of an insensitive person means that it is almost impossible to offend him, spiritual coldness has additional advantages:

A person who practically does not react even to the most serious shocks is usually respected and considered very strong.
The image of an insensitive man attracts girls, because they think that he can solve any problem “without raising an eyebrow.” Girls say about such young people: “Behind him is like behind a stone wall,” because with him action always comes first without wasting time on emotions.
It is much easier for such people to move up the career ladder, because no emotions interfere with working on themselves and self-improvement.

Let's look at how you need to restructure your behavior and attitude towards life in order to become an insensitive scum.

How to become calm and learn to control your emotions is described in the video:

Cultivating selfishness

From childhood we were taught that selfishness is a very bad quality. Children are taught to share their toys or even give them to semi-familiar playmates in the sandbox, because “you need to share” and “are you greedy?”

Lack of attention

The second rule is not to pay attention to anything. Neither for people, nor for any events. Forget about holidays, about relatives, about friends. Sometimes it is enough to fail to congratulate someone on their birthday once for you to be considered cold-blooded.

Yes, it will be difficult at the very beginning. Especially when your favorite holiday comes or some bright, joyful, emotional event occurs. But you should not just ignore it, but meet it with complete indifference. Until you learn this, you will not become an insensitive person. After all, such people usually rarely show their emotions. Most often, their faces show complete indifference to everything.

Composure and indifference are special character traits

Another similar quality is indifference. While an emotional person becomes hysterical or depressed, an indifferent person enjoys a carefree life and believes that there is no point in wasting feelings on mere trifles. And in this case, reason prevails over prejudice.

We all sometimes face difficult situations for one reason or another, because of which we cannot always control ourselves. Even the calmest and most balanced person can be enraged . Therefore, it is very important to be able to restrain your emotions and be calm. A person is capable of experiencing both positive and negative feelings. If good emotions bring us great joy, then negativity in the same volume fills life with anxiety, fear and irritability. Sometimes you can’t cope with them, they unsettle you. And it’s worth thinking about how to avoid the consequences of all these negative feelings.

Fear is the biggest reason for lack of control over bad emotions. From a young age, this feeling lives in us, grows with us, develops. Sometimes it seems to us that it is not there, but it is always in service; it is in our minds , guides us, sends signals (stimuli) and often, instead of common sense, the instinct of self-preservation is triggered in us. It sinks its roots into the nervous system and destroys it; a person becomes a victim of stress, nervous breakdowns and subsequently chronic diseases.

Composure and indifference are the enemies of fear . Thanks to these qualities, a person dominates fear and controls feelings, which affects relationships with others, the result of one’s own undertakings, mood and harmony of the soul.

Let's say no to help

A very interesting fact - refusing to help someone instantly makes you a cruel, bad person. Even if you really are simply unable to help or refuse for some specific, justified reasons. This means that in order to figure out how to become an insensitive creature, you just need to not help people. That is, in general. Absolutely. Even in small things. Remember: helping is very unprofitable. Especially close people. They often demand things from you that will cause you harm. In addition, practical help awakens positive emotions. And this is of no use to you. After all, the main task facing you is to completely get rid of emotions.

Please note that you must always refuse. And even if help is vital. Initially this will not be easy. But over time you will get used to it. By the way, very often such a step makes life much easier. You will not do anything to the detriment of yourself.

An example of composure

One of the greatest examples of composure, which, by the way, everyone can see, is a moment from the film “Bridge of Spies” (2015), where Tom Hanks played the role of a lawyer defending in court a captured spy who was facing the death penalty.

At one of the key moments, when the defendant was about to be sentenced to death (possibly death), the defendant himself was absolutely calm - he did not worry, did not panic, there was complete serenity and calm on his face.

And so, at this moment, his lawyer - Tom Hanks (right) asks him - “Aren’t you worried at all?”

And the defendant, with a smile on his face and his characteristic calm, asks him a counter question: “Will this help?” But this is not just a counter question, but, in fact, this is the answer. Indeed, worry and loss of composure have never helped anyone, and maintaining composure in emergency situations is very, very important.

Mirroring

Are you often bullied? Or maybe you are simply succumbing to eternal emotional tyranny? Gain strength and courage...and mirror your behavior. Don't be afraid to touch the nerves of your offenders. However, like all other people.

What does it mean? Treat your offenders the same way they treat you. It doesn’t matter who it is - a relative or just a friend/acquaintance. Take people who hurt you as an example. They are usually just perfect role models. After all, the ability to touch a nerve is a good skill for a cruel person.

What to do with those who communicate with you with kindness and friendliness? Mirroring will not help here - it is a charge of unnecessary positive emotions. Therefore, just follow the example of your offenders: try to distance yourself from such individuals, constantly tell them something offensive and unpleasant. Over time, this will become a habit for you.

How can a girl become a cold and insensitive bitch?

Usually girls want to acquire the status of a bitch because they were previously burned in a relationship.

Pain that could have been avoided if they had not been so kind and tender-hearted may not go away for years.

Reference! The best motivator on the path to the image of a bitch is the opportunity to devote your life to yourself, and not to an environment that does not appreciate it.

To do this, you should adhere to the following settings:

Personal interests and plans should be higher than what a man offers, even if you really want to meet him.
Self-care is a daily ritual that cannot be ruined by any external circumstances. It is worth creating your own style, including hair styling, beautiful makeup and perfectly selected clothes. Under no circumstances should you run to the grocery store or go to bed without removing your makeup. These simple actions will help you feel self-love that does not depend on external circumstances.
Take time for self-development. Read fiction or professional literature daily. This will help you learn to speak beautifully and interestingly.
Stop worrying about a man's feelings or his wallet. If you still feel awkward when you refuse to meet someone on the street, break someone's heart, or are treated to a cup of coffee, it's time to realize that this is the correct alignment of things, because you deserve it simply by the fact of your existence.
Set your conditions at the beginning of relationships with men. Meet only at a time convenient for you, maintain a mystery during dating, do not agree to sex simply out of a feeling of “it seems like it’s time.”

Full control

Here is the golden rule that you should always remember. If you want to understand how to become emotionless, you need to take control of all your emotions. How exactly to do this? There is no exact algorithm here. Just a few tips.

First, choose a profession that forces you to suppress your emotions. For example, a doctor. There they will be able to teach you some things that will help bring our today's idea to life.

Various psychological courses and trainings are also a good way to control emotions. They are called “Emotions under control.” True, they teach more to restrain negativity. But similar principles can be interpreted for positive feelings.

In the end, try to keep everything good inside yourself and suppress it. Think: “Everything is bad.” And repeat this to yourself constantly. Even if everything is just great. Sooner or later you will notice how you have learned to control your emotions. In this case, all that remains is to always maintain a stony, emotionless face when communicating.

This is all. Just before you become cruel and insensitive, think carefully about whether you really need it. It will be more difficult to regain your emotions. Pain is always easier to endure than to drown out.

How to recognize the problem

Do you find it difficult to maintain social contacts and understand other people's emotions? Do you often feel aching pain in your chest? Do you have problems with imagination? These signs may indicate not only psychosomatic problems, but also that you are developing alexithymia.

People with alexithymia also tend to exhibit conformist behavior. They try to avoid conflict situations, do not have a sense of humor and are often introverts. Limited imagination, “dry” thinking, inability to understand your own experiences: all these signs indicate that you need to start fighting emotional coldness.

How to become an insensitive and cold person?

To become insensitive and cold, you must remove from your head the thoughts that cause you emotional distress. For example, you can’t get a girl out of your head. But for some reason you don’t want to experience any feelings or emotions. As soon as you start thinking about it, immediately give a report about it and, with an effort of will and consciousness, change the picture in your head. Start remembering your last trip to the sea or some of the pleasant moments in life. At first it will be quite difficult to switch your head. However, if you do this exercise methodically, you will learn not to think about what you don’t want to think about. Ideally, an unwanted thought should quickly dissolve in the head, and it should be replaced by peaceful silence and emptiness. In the good sense of the word. If you want to understand the issue at a deeper level, I can recommend reading books by Eckhart Tolle.

What I described above is not a recipe in the traditional sense of getting rid of feelings, but working on oneself and removing the fighting body from consciousness.

Why do people want to become insensitive?

The most common situation: in 90% of cases a person wants to get rid of feelings and become cold, having experienced negative experiences in life. This could be a close relationship with a person who betrayed. The same situation can happen to a good friend (at least, he seemed so before). Such negative situations can greatly hurt your feelings and make you suffer a lot. It is logical that it seems that in order to avoid such suffering, one should drown out one’s feelings as much as possible. But this is the most primitive solution, which will not give anything good in life, but will only freeze your pain for many years.

No need to get rid of feelings

If you begin to avoid negative emotions, and if you do not work through the negativity that was there before, you will also not be able to enjoy life and enjoy it. Life is like a pendulum: it constantly swings you from negative to positive and back. The most important thing in life is to correctly learn to perceive failures and difficult situations. Don’t withdraw into yourself after them, but take a philosophical approach. Don’t scroll through them later in your head, but pay more attention to the positive things that are also happening to you. Often people are so focused on the negative that they don’t see anything good around them. But there is 100% good. This is where the program starts: if you constantly think in a negative way, then everything in life goes awry. And if you have good, positive thoughts in your head, then you will live easily and with pleasure.

In order to work with your psyche and way of thinking, I advise you to read several books on this topic. They can easily be Googled and found on the Internet.

On the contrary, I wish you to have more bright emotions in your life. And without feelings it is impossible to experience them. Only in this case does it feel like you are living a full, happy and fulfilling life. And insensitivity and coldness are the road to nowhere.

Coaching with Kai

When working with Kai, gradualness and consistency are important, otherwise sharp rollbacks and regressions occur. Also essential are a sense of affection and trust, melody and intonation, which he lacks, but which he appreciates in others.

Engage his body constantly.
You need to find different excuses for this, but you can start with bodily practices, and short ones at that. They remind of the density of the body, which means they give Kai a feeling of some guaranteed existence. “No one will eat me anytime soon,” he rejoices.
Advise him about the craft.
Becoming a shoemaker, sewing, knitting, carpentry... Fine motor skills awaken and normalize Kai. Moreover, the more work he does, the less he mutters to himself.
Discuss feelings with Kai
. First, this must be done abstractly: in what situations, by whom and how they appear, for example, in books and films. And only then celebrate them in life. Let him learn to record his own feelings, and then those of others: “guess what I felt when you told me this in that tone.”
Don't bring him out of his stupor
. He must do this independently and of his own free will. Will and emotions never dry up to the bottom - there is always something left, so you shouldn’t pull them out through a violent “come on, once, twice.”
But don't leave Kai in his imaginary reality.
It’s huge, it’s easy for him, much easier than in the real thing. Don’t fall for his “we feel so good here, we’re like in my mother’s tummy, why do we need some kind of outside world?” Don’t be fooled by the usual cozy theoretical conversations, drag him into life - gently and persistently.

Stay rational

Try to hide your pride, beliefs and vulnerabilities. Your reaction to events happening around you should be limited to interest. Anger, defensiveness, resentment and other manifestations should remain aside. For most people, such actions may seem extremely difficult. For example, if someone attacks a person’s belief system, there is a natural desire to defend them and defend their point of view. To remain indifferent, you need to be as open as possible and allow for the possibility of any development in any situation. If someone doesn't agree with you, tell them it's their choice and you respect them, but you stand your ground.

Indifference: definition, features

Indifference is a state of indifference, infantility, a passive attitude towards everything that does not directly concern a person. Indifference is the modern face of evil. Frankly speaking, the appearance is inconspicuous and drab, merging with the general mass, which is its main danger. A distinctive feature of indifference is the mechanism of its spread.

An individual who refuses help sows “seeds”, and the sprouts of indifference appear in the soul of the person who was refused. Chuck Palahniuk wrote about this in his famous work (“no one cared whether he lived or died, and he reciprocated everything”). Indifference, like a pandemic, arises in society and gradually spreads throughout the entire social group. Many witnesses adopt the model of indifferent behavior as the most correct one, because it will not bring problems, and the feeling of guilt will subside on its own over time.

Diagnosis

The absence of emotions in itself is not a disease, but it can often serve as a sign of certain diseases or mental disorders :

organic brain damage;
psychopathy;
schizophrenia;
depression;
heboid syndrome;
dementia.

Be that as it may, only a psychiatrist or psychotherapist .

Why does a woman want to lose interest in a man?

Relationships often bring pain and disappointment. Then you want to quickly get out of the problematic union, to cool off towards the man for whom you still have feelings. There may be several reasons for this desire:

The person has not experienced warm feelings for a long time, has left your family with him or is just about to do so. You love him, but unrequitedly.
You understand that interest in a relationship comes only from you: you love a man and value your family. He only takes advantage of his position without giving anything in return.
A man wants you to live only by his rules, forgetting about your own interests. For example, he demands that you always be at home and take care of him, and threatens to divorce you for failure to comply. You are tired of being disrespected and are gradually losing yourself.
Your man is overly jealous. You are constantly in nervous tension, tired of scandals and reproaches. To stop this, you should think about how to cool off towards such a man.
There is always a “third wheel” in your family – his mother, whose opinion is above all. You must also follow its rules. In this situation, the best way out would be to leave this inextricable tandem and go in search of a truly independent man.
Your soul mate has a difficult character or, on the contrary, is characterized by weak-willedness and excessive softness. A powerful man wants eternal submission, which no mentally healthy person can endure. The spineless man is looking for a caring mother in a woman who will not mind taking full responsibility for her “son.”
You are a decent woman, faithful to your man and your family with him. He is not distinguished by these qualities and does not consider it necessary to respect you. Then you have probably been tormented for a long time by the question of how to cool off towards the man with whom you are in a relationship. Having fallen out of love with this person, you yourself will be surprised at how his feelings for you will change, perhaps you will even be able to maintain the union.

Forecast

Lack of emotion does not affect life expectancy in any way , but it does reduce the quality of existence.

The prognosis is this: a meager life alone, devoid of bright colors and joyful moments.

First of all, it is difficult for an individual to understand himself. He seems to be experiencing feelings, but they do not fill him with the energy that normal people receive.

Positive emotions motivate, negative emotions allow you to feel threatened and learn from certain situations. A person suffering from alexithymia is deprived of this .

Communication deteriorates noticeably. A person cannot show his own emotions and give an adequate reaction to other people’s remarks. A person is incapable of compassion , as a result of which he becomes dry and soulless.

The logical approach is not always effective - the individual is considered selfish and ruthless.

People around you do not understand how to communicate with someone who does not show emotions and does not discuss them.

Social activity becomes impoverished because there are simply no people in a person’s life who are ready to accept it without emotional intimacy. The result of alexithymia is a monotonous, routine existence.

Life is so predictable that it is literally calibrated step by step, since the individual is not able to find himself in situations in which they act under the influence of emotions.

On the one hand, this, of course, frees you from unforeseen difficulties, but, on the other hand, there is no opportunity to experience unfamiliar situations.

Definition of concepts

Emotional rigidity is manifested in the fact that the individual weakly, very selectively and within a narrow range shows emotional reactions to all kinds of stimuli.

Emotional dullness is a special mental state in which a person either very weakly expresses or completely loses higher emotions (sympathy, respect, tolerance, tact, modesty, honesty, conscientiousness, etc.).

Emotional coldness is a disorder in which an individual does not experience emotions at all, or their expression weakens.

With emotional stupor, under the influence of intense mental experiences (fear, horror, danger to life), a state arises in which affective activity and motor activity are blocked, and the thought process slows down.

Emotional depression is a pathological mental state, which is characterized by a drop in mood, loss of interest in everything around, and deterioration in well-being.