“People meet, people fall in love, get married. I’m so unlucky in this that it’s just a disaster,” is sung in a famous Soviet-era hit. The song was sung a long time ago, but the problems remained the same: “How to develop a relationship with a girl so as not to break up immediately after meeting?”
The first thing guys need to know is that no relationship begins without mutual sympathy. Yes, a guy may like a girl more than she likes him, but the basis - mutual attraction - is still there. This means that such relationships can be made strong and lasting. How to do it right?
The key to good relationships
In fact, the best way to develop a relationship is to act naturally. No matter how inexperienced a guy or girl is, they instinctively know what to do with the person they like. But when a partner begins to play a role that is unusual for him (the role of a good girl or the role of a passionate male), alas, this will lead the relationship to a dead end. Behaving in an unnatural way for a long time will not work, and when the truth is revealed, you will regretfully realize that you are not the person your partner needs. Or it is possible that you will simply get tired of your acting activity and decide that this girl is not worth the moral and physical effort spent on her. Remember, the most important rule of a good and long relationship is that the relationship should be easy and comfortable for you!
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First date
When inviting a girl to a meeting, it is advisable to avoid this very word – “date”, otherwise the beauty may become tense. Invite her to take a walk together, ride a bike, or drink coffee.
where to go
Choose a place where you can communicate calmly and easily. Recently, interactive games, various quests, and intellectual quizzes have become very popular - you can take a girl there.
Assess your capabilities soberly. You don’t need to take a girl to an expensive, pretentious restaurant and spend half your salary there to impress. But the shawarma shop “At Arsen’s” won’t do either. The space should be cozy, simple and stylish.
Under no circumstances invite a girl to your home for a first date. She will decide that you considered her easily accessible and your intentions are frivolous.
How to dress
Appearance plays an important role on a first date. You don't need to dress up too much, otherwise you risk looking comical. A shirt and jeans are a good option. Naturally, all clothes must be washed and thoroughly ironed. This also applies to underwear.
Don't forget to put yourself in order, too. Eau de toilette, fashionable haircut, everything. You must like yourself and exude confidence.
What to talk about
There is no need to strain yourself to come up with topics for conversation; let the dialogue arise on its own. Show sincere interest in the girl, and focus less on impressing her. If you are afraid of awkward silence, invite the girl to a place where conversations can be diluted with joint activities.
You can go to a master class on cooking some delicious food, play ping-pong or billiards - a place where you need to do more than talk.
Too personal and intimate topics are taboo on the first date. Financial issues too. Don’t ask a girl how much she earns or if her car was bought on credit - this is tactless.
If you have common hobbies and interests, it will be much easier for you to connect. Start discussing them, and the conversation will start on its own.
Here is a useful video on this topic.
What to do after
Be sure to walk your chosen one home after the date! Even if you have to go to the other end of the city. If the girl refuses, call her a taxi and check how she got there. Such unburdensome care captivates.
Don't forget to thank the beauty for the evening and hope to see you soon. You can do this at the end of the date or afterward by writing her a message.
Distance is not a hindrance
However, with the development of information technology, more and more often young people meet on the Internet in online games, forums, chat rooms, dating sites, etc. Such relationships have their own specifics: often people are in different cities at a great distance from each other, they do not have the opportunity for frequent meetings and dates, and do not have mutual acquaintances.
But even such difficult relationships have a good chance of becoming successful. They also have one significant advantage - often the basis for starting such a relationship is not physical attractiveness, but the presence of common interests. By the time a couple is actually ready to meet in real time, they already know each other’s interests and preferences well, and rare meetings only fuel interest in their partner.
A little history
In Soviet times, relationships began very simply: the guy and the girl felt mutual sympathy. Then the guy asked the girl out on a date. It could be dancing, a cinema or a circus. Or maybe a museum or a zoo. If everything suited both of them, intimate intimacy occurred somewhere during the first month of such meetings. Sex, in a modern way. Yes, there was sex in the USSR and there was enough of it for everyone. Today everything is more interesting: a guy meets a girl he likes. He begins to look after her. And it has two ways:
- Try to please the girl, satisfy her desires, give her various gifts, flowers, etc.
- Show yourself as an interesting person with certain values and virtues. Make it clear that such a guy may be unavailable to her
Relationship stages
Scientists have been trying for a long time to understand what happens between a man and a woman in love. And although not all the secrets in this area were discovered and studied by them, they described the path that absolutely all relationships go through.
- Sympathy. You cannot build mutual love from scratch; already at the initial stage of dating, you should feel sympathy for each other, a desire to be friends and to get to know the person better. Usually, after a month of dating, it is quite easy for young people to answer the question: do you like this person?
- Close acquaintance. At this stage, lovers gradually begin to see each other in a real, earthly light. They get to know their partner’s temperament, character, and behavior patterns better and get the opportunity to think about whether they are ready to come to terms with these characteristics of their other half. Be very careful at this stage: do not deceive yourself with hopes that you can fix something or re-educate your loved one. If you are not ready to accept him completely for who he is, do not expect a bright future in this relationship.
- Adoption. When a couple decides that they are comfortable being together, despite some of the peculiarities of being together with each other, this means that they no longer doubt their choice and are ready to build strong relationships, start a family, and raise children.
- Service. At this stage, the couple is ready to give up their self-centeredness in favor of their partner. Moreover, such an act is not perceived by the victim, but is implied by itself, because now not only one’s own comfort, but also the comfort of the loved one comes to the fore.
- Confidence. By this stage, partners go through many life difficulties, conflicts and trials. They know each other as well as they know themselves. They trust and respect their partner without demanding anything in return.
- Love. The long-awaited fruit of all the efforts that were made to cultivate it: patience, understanding, trust, care. This is not only physical unity, but a connection of souls, bringing peace and harmony to the personality of each partner. All desires and thoughts can be read as if in an open book, and in order to be understood, you don’t have to speak, you can just keep quiet about it and be heard.
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When should you have sex?
Girls always have the question of when to “give” to guys. For the stronger sex, the question of sex arises only when he does not want to scare away the fair half with his “lustful” desires. When should you have sex - before a relationship, after it starts, or after registering a marriage?
If previously a guy could only get sex after marriage, today this is no longer relevant. It is better to have sex almost at the very beginning of the relationship, so as not to destroy the union due to the discrepancy between the sexuality of the partners.
All girls are different. A guy may like someone, but at the same time not be as relaxed and sexy in bed as he would like. Not all beautiful girls will satisfy you in bed. In order not to part with them, you need to find out what they are like sexually as soon as possible.
You should have sex as soon as you start a love relationship. We are not talking about a first date (although if the girl doesn’t mind, then you can sleep with her). It is better to have sex when you feel sympathy for the girl and notice a response on her part. To understand whether you can build a serious relationship with her, it is better to have sex with her as quickly as possible. This is the only way you will understand whether you will have problems in this regard with a girl or not.
The second time will happen much faster. Just before the first time, the girl hesitates for a long time and refuses. But if it happened once, then the second sex will happen quickly enough.
Patience and more patience
All successful relationships are based on the fact that each partner understands what kind of person they are dealing with and agrees to it. Therefore, do not rush things, give yourself the opportunity to get to know the person you are in love with better, so that you do not later regret the choice you made and do not go on a new search. And remember that all the quarrels and conflicts that occur in your relationship do not mean collapse, but a good opportunity to get to know each other even better and learn mutual trust.
How to start dating a girl correctly?
When sex has already happened, you need to shake up the situation smoothly. Even if you are used to sharply putting everything in its place, not this time, you will have to pause a little. The psychology of a girl is much more complex; you really need to work with her.
Here are some useful tips on this matter.
- Shorten the breaks between your meetings.
- Sex should also gradually become more and more frequent.
- Don’t lose touch, gradually try to become more and more interested in her life.
- Official proposals are not needed; for her, everything should happen naturally, simply and without serious decisions.
Here's how to start a relationship the right way, it's really simple. But you will need some additional information about seduction. Without her, things won't go anywhere. You can get it in two ways: either read my articles more often, look at thematic materials, or sign up for my course, where you will receive specific step-by-step instructions that work with all girls. And be sure to practice talking to girls! If you want to learn even more secrets on seducing girls, subscribe to my VKontakte page.
Lowering the bar2
Having put your own thoughts in order, you should correctly evaluate your own self-esteem.
It’s quite easy to write the phrase: “You need to reflect on your behavior.” In practice, a person needs to learn to blame not only others, but also himself. As practice shows, in long-term relationships, many partners relax too much and begin to overestimate their demands on their loved ones. They are no longer satisfied with the existing shortcomings or defects in appearance.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself:
- What is the real reason for the breakup?
- Why did I put up with such behavior/flaws/appearance before?
- Why was everything good at first?
Perhaps during this time both people have changed and not for the better? Then thoughtful work on your own requirements and their logic can play a good role in reconciliation.
