You cheated on your boyfriend or how to survive your own betrayal

Treason, according to society, is the worst betrayal that a man and a woman are capable of towards each other. Both representatives of humanity are owners. No one will give up their partner. Betrayal ruins life, splits it into “before” and “after”. How to behave if you cheated on your boyfriend? How to continue to live and build relationships? Let's talk about exactly this today.

What is treason

Cheating is a secret. One might even say that it is the greatest secret. And the load, a very heavy load. Treason forever remains an indicator of human essence. But is she really that scary? Let's figure it out.

Cheating is when one person enters into a relationship with another while having a permanent partner. Everything seems clear. You love Petya, Petya loves you, but Vasya comes and blows your mind and heart. If you bear the surname Petya, as an official wife, then this is a mistake, friend. You were given to Petya at the registry office against your signature. You are, well, not his property, but something like that. In short, you made your choice and you can’t rush around men. And then, Petya must be sure that the children are his, and not Vasya.

The second situation is when you and Petya are just dating. Understand, friend, you don’t owe him anything! Just like he doesn't owe you anything. Both of you are actively searching. Yes, now everything is tip top. But living life is not a field to cross. Having children is not a sheep sneezing. And all these social anchors: marriage, children, etc., very serious things. You can’t walk down the aisle with just anyone. Therefore, if Vasya suddenly appeared in your life, then this is a reason to think about how good Petya is. In a situation of administrative freedom, there is no betrayal; there is a search or change of partner. So loud hysterics about betrayal are inappropriate here.

In general, the very fact of betrayal as such is very controversial in the first situation. A good leftist strengthens a marriage, as they say. In fact, betrayal puts everything in its place. This is, firstly. Secondly, cheating provides an outlet. After all, not everything goes smoothly in a marriage, and material ties can be a great deterrent from rash steps, such as divorce. Thirdly, betrayal makes you wiser in all respects, it is a great lesson for both. So before you tear your hair out or walk off into the sunset, you need to think things through.

How to find out

Most often, women try to determine by their man’s behavior that he has begun to cheat. But sometimes representatives of the stronger half of humanity try so hard to hide it that the spouses simply do not realize it.

However, there are certain signs that a man is cheating. The psychology of the behavior of an unfaithful spouse is manifested in the following:

he stays late at work (although this is not always an indicator);
set a password on his phone (which means he has something to hide from his wife);
began to pay a lot of attention to his appearance and clothes (including underwear);
he constantly talks on the phone and says that they are calling him at work (but the voice on the phone is heard as female);
changed the password on social networks;
the husband, who was very domestic, suddenly began to have constant business trips;
he spends all his time on the phone;
he is not interested in the lives of his children and wife;
began to give gifts to his wife for no reason;
traces of lipstick on the jacket and shirt (this is an obvious sign that the husband has a mistress);
became very passionate or, on the contrary, very cold in bed and refuses intimacy with his wife.

Of course, all people are different, and a man’s mood may change not because he has someone. There may be problems at work, or he is simply tired and needs to rest. Therefore, you should not take everything literally.

Behind seven seals2

The biggest mistake you can make is telling everything. It’s simply impossible to think of anything more stupid. You are in vain hoping that the faithful will be a magnanimous knight and will understand and forgive everything. Hell no. Men are terrible owners. They react much more sharply to betrayal. And if a woman is still capable of forgiveness, then a man is not. He won't even look for excuses. It’s easier for him to destroy everything he’s built for so long than to try to forgive. Even if he suddenly starts nagging and finds an excuse for your action, then be prepared for the following attacks:

Respect for you will drop to 0. He will simply mock you endlessly. You will always be to blame for everything and he won’t care about your opinion. In general, say goodbye to authority forever;

You will become a puppet. Yes Yes! You will be manipulated as if you were in the Karabas-Barabas theater. Be sure that he will pull your emotional strings for the rest of your life;
Revenge. Well, wouldn't you take revenge? Just don’t talk about “I’m not like that...”. The guy will definitely take revenge. After all, he will not live by the principle “what a lion can do, a dog can’t.” And then, if you decided that you can compare him with someone, then why can’t he look for something better? Fair enough, right? Now ask yourself how to survive his betrayal. And, yes, he will not hide it.

If you suddenly decided that confessing to treason is a highly moral act, then you are deeply mistaken. A highly moral act is to be faithful and not change. And everything else is bullshit. The fact that you are all so honest will not work. You had to be honest when you went to bed with someone else.

There is another category of women. They tell only to take revenge. Well, let's say because the guy cheated. Then everything is mutual. Well, as an option, maybe it will work. Just look above. Something from those three points that we just talked about will definitely begin.

Well, and the third category of ladies. Manipulation of attention. Even if you're just imagining things to get a guy's attention, beware! It will be very difficult to prove otherwise. If you really cheated only in order to then squeal hysterically, “You forgot about me...”, then he will really forget about you. So the game is not worth the candle.

There is only one conclusion: keep your mouth shut! If you understand that you have spoiled the towns, but at the same time you love your boyfriend, and this betrayal was a mistake - be silent. Be silent, like a partisan during interrogation. And come up with a specific alibi for yourself. Time cures. The mental anguish will pass. Over time, you will forget about your adventure. The main thing is to learn the right lesson from all this and protect your loved one from stress. In all other cases, the relationship will definitely fall apart. So, shhh, it was and was...

Tips for saving relationships

Trust is the foundation of partnerships. It is difficult to get along with an unreliable person, so waiting for the immediate restoration of the couple even after the man has forgiven the betrayal is stupid. This takes some time, just like healing any wound. There are several recommendations in this regard:

Be honest. You shouldn't promise eternal devotion and love by downloading a dating app.
Spend more time with your partner. This way he will be able to trust the girl without imagining pictures of another betrayal.
Try not to hide from your loved one even over small things. Don't flinch when he enters the room and don't delete your browser history.

Only deeply loving people are able to forgive betrayal. This should be appreciated and previous mistakes should not be repeated. There will definitely not be a second chance.

Female infidelity differs from male infidelity, but is often almost unconscious. It's better to keep everything a secret. If he finds out about the misconduct, then to regain the favor of his partner he will have to go through a difficult path.

Covering our tracks3

Now let's think about how to save your soul. We need not only an alibi, but other things.

A one-time betrayal may not be considered at all. This either happened due to drunkenness or in a stressful situation. For example, I had too much at a corporate party, and now there’s a joint in the chief accountant’s office. The variant is so-so, but the essence is clear. The second situation is stress. I quarreled with my friend, got angry with him and decided to cry on the chest of a classmate. He consoled...

In such a situation, turn off your heart and emotions and turn your brain to full blast. First you need to think through everything a few steps ahead. Remember how you hid the fact of losing your virginity from your mother. Then, too, a grandiose plan was invented so that she would not guess anything. You can sleep under the following conditions:

Second betrayal. Sleeping with someone twice is no longer an accident. This is a pattern. Since you go to meet a stranger again and again, then we can talk about establishing a stronger, spiritual connection. You may feel in love, you may become thoughtful and absent-minded. This change in behavior will not go unnoticed by your boyfriend. He will begin to look for confirmation of his guesses: correspondence, call details, things that appeared unexpectedly. Anything will attract his attention.
Alibi. If you are scared now, you can easily get confused in the testimony. Always keep an eye on events. Remember where you went, who you talked to, who you saw on the day of the betrayal. Don't try to make anything up. Don't drag in a get-together at your friend's if you haven't been there and haven't seen her. Otherwise, the guy may just accidentally find out completely different things. Just tell me about your day, you didn’t spend all your time in bed with your lover. If you were gone all night, then it’s more difficult, but you can get away with it, for example, I was at my mother’s. Believe me, mom will always confirm your alibi, but then she’ll rip your head off. But it's better than getting pierced. And yes, if this is a conscious trip to the left, then it is better to warn your mother in advance. Then you will explain everything.
Girlfriends. The ones who shouldn't know anything are the girlfriends. “A secret to the whole world,” do you remember this proverb? Girlfriends may blurt out this story to complete strangers, but they may know the guy personally. And a quarrel with them is fraught with consequences. They may tell you to spoil things.
Stigma into the cannon. The one who is the most jealous cheats. It is truth. So, you shouldn’t turn into a fury and look for a guy’s infidelity. By playing an excessively jealous person, you risk getting into trouble and becoming an object of suspicion.

If a friend suddenly turns out to be...4

Cheating often happens with friends. And basically, it’s the guy’s friend. Why this happened is a different story. Let's talk about what to do if this happens. You must understand that male friendship is a very interesting phenomenon. Guys make friends differently, not like girls. For them, a friend is on the same level as a brother or even higher. So a friend who encroached on his friend’s girlfriend has no right to be called a friend. But the strangest thing is that, having learned about such an event, guys very often remain on excellent terms, blaming the girl for everything. She is the one who leaves the relationship, and the men continue to be friends. But sometimes a friend simply falls in love, completely and headlessly. Having seduced you, he can begin to make every effort to own you alone, in other words, begin to take you away.

You have two options: leave him and come up with a scary story about a vile friend. When he starts telling your boyfriend intimate details, you can scream with inspiration that everything is a blatant lie, and he saw a mole on his thigh on the beach. Most likely they will believe you. If you have straight love-carrot love with him, then leave your boyfriend and live happily. There is simply no other way out. Well, or leave both of them and take a time out from the relationship in general. Believe me, after some time one of them will try to get you back.

Partner knows nothing

In this case, it is worth starting from how serious the betrayal was:

A simple affair on the side, when a colleague had his eye on a woman, but she could not resist the base impulse. The situation usually involves drinking alcohol.
Serious feelings for another man arose.

In the first case, although your conscience is tormenting you, you should remain silent, forget and simply reconsider your behavior as a couple and become better. Statistics show that few men are ready to forgive their chosen one for betrayal. No one knows what the partner’s reaction will be, so it’s better not to take risks.

READ Zodiac signs that most often cheat on their significant other

If strong feelings flared up on the other side, you should try to calmly talk with your current partner and suggest breaking up. Continuing to deceive a person is irresponsible and cruel. A woman steals his time and mental strength, acting in her own selfish interests.

Cheating with ex5

So, how did it occur to you to confront your ex? Has nostalgia demolished the tower? Exes don't just come back. They either want revenge and discredit, or they really can’t forget. In the first case, prepare for exposure. Then we adopt a model for maintaining our relationship, as in the case of a friend. That is, we stand our ground and deny everything. By the way, the former is well aware of the scar from appendicitis or the birthmark on the right buttock, so it’s easy to smear here. If he can't forget you, then change everything! Numbers, contacts, social networks. But by and large, you can simply ignore and deny everything.

If the secret became clear

What to do if the guy found out everything? “Oh, and this is a difficult job: dragging a hippopotamus out of the swamp.” We need to save ourselves.

First, pull yourself together, don't panic, don't yell or get hysterical. A flurry of emotions is the worst assistant. Take a breath, drink some water, listen carefully to everything the guy tells you. And he will say a lot. Don't forget, he has the right to the most unpleasant epithets. So shut up and listen. Don't you dare interrupt. While he speaks, think about your speech. It should be no less epic than his.

Secondly, the best defense is attack. Accuse him of all mortal sins: inattention, inability to treat a woman, lack of affection, poor-quality sex. You can find a million faults in your boyfriend. In general, try to do everything so that he thinks about the fact that he is incredibly lucky that you chose him, and he squandered everything.

Third, you know your boyfriend better. And if he is a sentimental Pierrot, then you can safely fall to your knees, wring your hands and sacredly swear in blood that this will not happen again. Don’t deny your guilt, but don’t belittle him either. Let him feel uncomfortable too.

Fourthly. You can offer options for the development of events yourself. The best thing to do is to separate for a while. In any case, the relationship is in trouble, and there is a chance that the guy will think it over and decide to get you back. Moreover, if you make your departure as tragic as possible by playing a beaten dog and showing silent submission and doom, then there is every chance that you will not get further than a taxi.

Show it to the guy6

Hey buddy, do you know why she cheated on you? Yes because you:

I decided that she wasn’t going anywhere. That's your mistake. A woman must always be conquered, surprised, amazed. You don't have to throw endless parties, but if you took her to the cinema a year ago, expect her to find someone to watch the new movie with.
Traded it for a job. It's admirable that you're trying to make a ton of money. But don't forget that all the money in the world is not worth your girlfriend. She, of course, wants a fur coat, a car, and some trinkets. But if you are “married” to your job and forgot about her birthday, then someone else will give her all these goodies. Yes, disappear in your office on weekday evenings, but on weekends, be kind enough to be with her. And never stay more than 15 minutes, don’t postpone going to a restaurant, even if you have the main contract signed. Just plan everything in advance. And if force majeure happens, then figure out how to brighten up her loneliness.
Stuck in computer games. Tanks are cuter? Well then, she will 100% have a more pumped up tanker. While you are upgrading your virtual machines, there will be a real dude who will upgrade it with such body kits that your rating will fall below the baseboard. No offense, bro!
Rogue. Heh, the question is, of course, controversial. With a cute one, heaven is in a hut, but only if there is a hut and a river nearby that has fish. So leave your “communist utopias” and let’s all make money together. Those times are gone, and now you can’t even give birth for free. Women always view a man as a provider. And if you can’t do the basics, then there will always be a more viable male.
I walked to the left myself. Well, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Or did you think that you could, but she couldn’t? Fuck there. Your infidelity automatically removes all her obligations to you. So be offended only at yourself.

Why do women cheat

It's no secret that many men do not value their wives at all. Moreover, as time passes, they completely stop paying attention to them. And women want attention and affection. Everything is quite simple.

How does a woman cheat? The psychology of the behavior of an unfaithful wife may not be entirely clear. On the one hand, the lady becomes cold and insensitive towards her husband, but at the same time, the latter will try to hide the betrayal from her chosen one.

What will this behavior lead to? Sooner or later she will admit to cheating, or her husband will figure it out himself.

Why do women start cheating on their spouses? This only happens because of the inattention or bad attitude of men towards their wives.

A woman cheats because she is looking for something better, and a man cheats because he wants to find something new. The difference here is, of course, obvious. Therefore, if a woman feels loved and desired, she will never cheat on her husband. All men should know about this.