Changes in the behavior of boys at 11-12 years old and the physiological reasons for these changes

Raising children 10-12 years old should take into account the psychological characteristics of the period, as well as the emergence of a sense of independence in the child. During this period, puberty begins, which seriously affects the behavior of a teenager.

At the age of 11, children experience the peak of emotional instability, and the behavior of adults towards them should be especially careful, but at the same time firm.

Errors in education during the period from 10 to 12 years lead to serious psychological problems during the period of older adolescence, which lasts from 13 to 15-16 years.

Features of children aged 10-12 years

1. The child is increasingly drawn to his peers. Boys and girls prefer to be friends with children of the same gender. The emerging interest in the opposite sex remains hidden for now and outwardly sometimes manifests itself only as small aggressive attacks (ridicule, pushing, calling names, etc.)
2. The child’s motor activity increases: he walks and runs a lot and quickly. The distance that children cover at 10-12 years old and their speed doubles compared to the previous age period.
3. Children develop strong interests that often last a lifetime. They can be associated both with the choice of a future profession and with a hobby.
4. Children become even more curious, want to know everything about everything, and actively absorb information from different sources. The child is interested in the conversations of adults. Of course, he doesn’t understand everything, but he listens, observes their behavior and communication style, reflects, and draws his own conclusions.
5. Due to the beginning changes in physiology and psychology, children at this age may begin to develop complexes and self-doubt. Therefore, it is important to be patient and praise them for their skills, achievements and correct behavior in order to prevent a decrease in self-esteem.

Content:

• Age characteristics of children aged 12-13 years Development of girls
• Features of the development of boys

Sexual development of children at 10-12 years old

Sex education is a particularly important stage in the process of personality formation. The main task falls on the parents, who must be able to prepare the teenager for the changes that will occur in his body.

Girls, first of all, must be competently brought to the understanding that they will begin menstruation, which at first will be unstable and may go unevenly for several months. It is not enough to simply tell a child that his body has matured. The mother must explain to her daughter in detail what is happening to her. It is also necessary to teach the girl proper self-care during menstruation.

Special attention should be paid to ensuring that the teenager does not see anything indecent or shameful in the changes occurring in the body. It is important that the girl does not develop a complex of guilt and shame about her periods, which occurs if she is brushed aside when she wants to know what is happening to her.

In boys between the ages of 10 and 12, hormonal changes also begin, and adolescents experience the phenomenon of wet dreams. Parents need to prepare their son for this so that he does not experience shock and does not perceive what is happening as something shameful that requires constant concealment. It is better for the father to conduct the conversation, as in this case the boy will be less embarrassed. At the same time, if the son has a more trusting relationship with his mother, it is better for her to talk to him.

When conducting sex education for a child aged 10-12, one must take into account the fact that conversations on the topic of puberty always cause embarrassment in children. You cannot make fun of your son or daughter or humiliate them in any way, even without malice. A teenager must understand that, despite adult sexual manifestations, his body is not yet ready for procreation. Before this, it must be fully formed.

During the same period, we must gradually begin to explain to children about the need to follow certain safety rules during sexual contacts. Also at this same moment, it is necessary to explain that too early (before 16 years of age) sexual activity leads to health problems, especially in girls.

Latency period acquisitions

During these years, the boy is actively involved in the life of society, and - at the same time - the process of de-idealization of his parents, emotional and practical withdrawal from them begins. During the latent period, this process (absolutely natural and necessary) occurs slowly, without conflict, without harsh scenes or offensive words. By this moment, the values, attitudes, and behavioral stereotypes of the parents have become part of the boy’s personality; he perceives them as his own.

Usually boys during these years study successfully and - most importantly - are actively interested in something. This is the time for classes in clubs, sections, sports clubs. The sphere of communication expands sharply, the boy makes friends in class, in a circle, in the sports section, and these friends go to his home, and he goes to them. But children still gather in groups according to gender: girls with girls, boys with boys.

At the age of 11–12, the need and ability to complete a task is formed. Then, during adolescence, these abilities may also temporarily decrease or disappear. But if the latent and pre-adolescent stages are completed “correctly”, after adolescence, respect for parents, motivation to learn, the ability to complete things, and many other very useful character traits return to the young person.

Development of a child at 10-12 years old, what should he know and be able to do?

During early adolescence, which lasts from 9.5 to 12-12.5 years, children move from a dependent position to an independent person who can fully take care of themselves. At this age, regardless of gender, children should be able to:

• clean up the apartment;
• use a washing machine and wash small items by hand;
• prepare simple dishes with or without a stove;
• Wash yourself and follow all necessary hygiene rules;
• wash the dishes;
• plan your personal time and distribute tasks depending on their importance;
• defend your opinion and accept constructive, reasonable criticism;
• stand up for oneself;
• get out of awkward situations;
• accurately carry out the instructions given by parents;
• seek help from emergency services and clearly explain what is happening;
• distribute and save pocket money;
• care for pets;
• be responsible for your actions;
• look after the younger ones;
• analyze actions and their consequences.

From the age of 11, a teenager should be able to navigate the ingredients of products in a store and choose them not based on the attractiveness of the packaging.

From the age of 12, children become quite independent and can be left alone at home all day. At the same time, they are already able to heat or cook their own food, allocate time for work and rest.

In early adolescence, a child must fully master school subjects. He also already knows and clearly understands that he is a person who has rights and responsibilities, as well as responsibility for his actions.

Housework

First of all, you have to learn to consider a 10-11 year old teenager not only as a child, but also as a person who wants to make decisions on his own, without regard to what they will say or think about him. It is possible that he will view the performance of household duties not as an objectively necessary action, but as an act of submission to someone else’s will.

Discuss with the future hostess that you are not able to do everything around the house and it would be reasonable (if she is already old enough) to share the worries with her. Give her your “territory,” for which she will be responsible, entrust her with a certain (but strictly limited) list of matters that are under her jurisdiction.

At the age of 10, a girl must clean her own room

Better instead:

• Keep your room tidy (lead by example).
• Discuss the consequences of such negligence (the occurrence of allergic reactions and frequent illnesses due to excess dust and poor hygiene, the appearance of an unpleasant odor in clothes, to which classmates may react poorly).
• Be able to show a moderately positive reaction to the fact that your daughter has finally taken up cleaning (stormy enthusiasm, as well as ignorance, can cause a teenager to have a negative attitude towards the experience of housekeeping).

If your 10-year-old daughter does something outside the regulated list, then be sure to note how much she helped you, because this is not part of her responsibilities, and she spent her free personal time taking care of her family and household chores.

How to raise a child at 10-12 years old

• Be very attentive to your child's opinion . At this age, he has his own point of view on almost everything. If you don’t learn to respect his views, then in adolescence he will either respond with violent protest to attempts to “shut him up,” or he will withdraw into himself and stop expressing his opinion, which is no less dangerous.
• Try not to use harsh phrases when communicating with your child, and do not be overly categorical. Expressions “I forbid you”, “You are obliged”, “Because I said so!” etc. will be met extremely negatively by your child and will only cause resistance. If you think his behavior is inappropriate or you don’t like one of his friends, say so calmly, argue your point of view (get used to doing this all the time), and communicate your feelings. Be sure to listen to your child.
• Do not hide your fears and concerns for your child under the guise of severity and inflexibility. Openness and sincerity in communicating with him will help maintain a warm, trusting relationship between you.
• Pay attention to what the child is interested in at this age in order to encourage his involvement in one activity or another. By the beginning of adolescence, your child should have one or more useful hobbies (creative or sports), then it is easier to direct his energy in the right direction.
• Your ability to trust your child begins to play an increasingly important role. Demonstrate with all your behavior that you do not doubt him, provide a reasonable degree of independence and initiative, and designate his area of ​​responsibility. You can't stop children from wanting to become adults, but it's important to show that it's not that easy.
• Accept your child for who he is, do not compare with others. He should feel loved and protected regardless of any conditions.
• Create conditions for confidential conversations with your child. If you want him to communicate more with you, do not build the conversation in the form of an interrogation, that is, do not use many questions at once that require monosyllabic answers (“yes” or “no”). Ask your child how his day went, what new things he learned, what he thinks about some phenomenon, etc. It is open questions that stimulate communication. Remember that children are more likely to have genuine conversations before bed, and use this time to be affectionate and kind.
• Always maintain eye contact when talking to your child. And don't forget the importance of touch. Supportive hugs help you feel accepted and protected.

When raising children, loved ones and teachers should take into account the psychological state of the teenager and the fact that he is going through a period of self-determination and development of independence. Experiences associated with puberty are also taken into account.

Children need to be supported in their endeavors and initiative. You cannot treat personality and appearance with irony or disrespect. This age period instills many complexes due to improper behavior on the part of parents.

Relatives should not put pressure on a teenager and force him to accept their opinion, regardless of his own. A son or daughter should have the opportunity to express their views and, according to individual preferences, choose their clothes and hobbies (if they are not dangerous).

Single-parent families

Single-parent families have a special situation, and if a girl lives with her dad, it is advisable to make sure that she has an older “friend” (grandmother, aunt, nanny), who, from her own, female, position, will help in resolving certain issues. If you are in such a mentoring role, take it seriously, do not divulge the secrets entrusted to you, and do not ridicule the immature decisions of your mentee.

Single-parent family requires special treatment of the child

It is quite possible that a 10-year-old girl will not dare to discuss any of the problems that concern her, so she should carefully “test” the situation, inadvertently touching on “difficult” topics and noting the reaction for herself. Fear of discussion is associated with the fear of showing your ignorance, stupidity or awkwardness

If you find out what exactly bothers the child, you can tell something funny about yourself on this topic. Let him see that everyone has failures and absurdities, and that there are no taboo topics for discussion.

Useful tips for parents

1. Do not resist the manifestations of their emotions . In order not to lose contact with children at a time of emotional instability, when they react to everything excessively violently and defiantly, and can throw tantrums when prohibited, one must not resist the manifestations of their emotions. After an outburst that finds no barriers, children are ready for a constructive conversation, since they do not feel opposition from adults and the need to fight for interests. They realize that a calm conversation with reasoned arguments gives much more.
2. A place of freedom. Control over children's lives should be weakened in a number of areas. You should not strictly dictate what clothes to wear (you can only express your opinion, but without using guilt-inducing words: “well,” “your business,” “as you wish,” and “I don’t like it”). For example, if you want to convince your growing daughter that the dress she has chosen does not suit her, it is better to do this by explaining that it hides her strengths and creates the effect of non-existent shortcomings.
3. Adequate assessment of appearance. Parents should not underestimate or overestimate the external data of their children. Both will cause complexes. We should not point out shortcomings, but should show the teenager in a gentle manner what weaknesses he has in his appearance, and how they can be hidden or even turned into advantages, characterizing them as an individual feature.

Daily routine for a 10-12 year old child

Maintaining a strict daily routine turns out to be difficult, since at this age teenage independence begins to manifest itself. During this period, parents must make compromises to maintain the correct rhythm of the children's day. You also need to not just indicate when and what to do, but you should, giving reasonable arguments, explain to your son or daughter why this is necessary and how not following the routine will harm them.

You also need to allow the teenager to experience the disadvantages of violations. For example, if he sat in front of the TV or computer until late at night, then he will not be able to easily wake up for school in the morning, and during the day he will suffer from poor health. Having encountered this, you are unlikely to want to repeat the mistake.

The influence of the company on a teenager

It is at this time that the teenager’s desire to imitate his friends with whom he is in close contact is great. The more parents fight with their teenager at home, the more he will be drawn to those who are on the street. Even very decent adults tried to smoke or drink at least once during their teenage years. Is it important to know how your girl or boy lives? What connects them with the company?

Teenagers and peers - the social aspect of age

Advice to parents: trust, trust again. You need to be firmly convinced and express that you firmly believe that all troubles are just an accident, your boy knows how to behave correctly in a given situation.

If you panic and scroll through the worst scenarios in your head, then your son may unknowingly live up to your worst expectations. This is the psychology of children, there is no escape from it, everyone goes through this period.

Games and toys for children aged 10-12 years

Toys that interested children at an early age turn into protected and carefully stored talismans, which they do not part with, but do not play with them anymore. For boys and girls, the main toys are complex puzzles, radio-controlled models, logic board games and computer games.

The latter cannot be prohibited, as this will only lead to them becoming especially desirable. However, it is necessary to dose the time spent in front of the monitor, organizing an equally exciting pastime for the child, preferably with a sports focus.

Any toys should be purchased only with the teenager's interests in mind so that they do not become a disappointment. In most cases, children want to receive various sports equipment as gifts.

When raising a boy or girl, loved ones need to first analyze their behavior. It should be aimed at the formation of an independent and full-fledged personality, and not at manipulating the child in order to keep him near you.

Often parents unconsciously try to instill in their children a sense of guilt and duty towards them, which, in their opinion, can protect their sons and daughters from mistakes and disappointments. As a result of such an illiterate approach, they only achieve that children either acquire a lot of complexes and cannot live fully, or break off relations with loved ones as early as possible, wanting to finally become an individual.

What to do if you have a rival

It’s a difficult situation, how to attract attention if he already loves someone else. The smart solution is to calm down and retreat. If a girl truly loves, she wishes her chosen one happiness - albeit with someone else. However, it happens that you cannot order your heart, or your rival turns out to be dishonest. She may flirt with or date several guys who are unaware of her companion's dishonest behavior. Psychologists do not advise weaving intrigues, trying to separate lovers or plotting intrigues - the one with the shovel in his hands ends up in the dug hole.

It is advisable to build a useful strategy:

• become a guy's friend;
• do not interfere in his relationship with his rival;
• give advice if the boy asks;
• be patient and wait.

It is impossible to attract a boy's attention if he likes someone else. Victory will be accompanied by the bitterness of defeat, since the cheating guy will just as easily exchange any girl for his next passion. It is advisable to wait until the relationship breaks down while remaining in the shadows, but there is a risk. The boy will perceive his girlfriend as a vest in which it is convenient to cry and talk about painful things.