"Never! I won't eat this! No, and I won’t try. Everything is raw there! And those green things! Brrr... No, don’t try to persuade me!” That's my mom. The sweetest woman categorically refuses... to try Japanese cuisine - rolls, sushi. Arguments that a good restaurant serves it, that it is safe and tasty, and most importantly - that she is judging without even trying it - are not accepted. Mom stands like an immovable rock, guarding her principles.
This small incident is just a clear example of how it is human nature to fear and reject new things. Starting with the banal – just trying a new dish, and ending with solutions that can radically take such a familiar life to a new level. Fear of change does not allow you to let the wind of change into your space, protecting your cozy little world from external attacks. It’s hard, isn’t it, to agree to a promotion and leave a familiar, boring, but so stable and familiar place? Or finally cut off the “three feathers” on your head, called “long hair,” and dye your hair copper-red?
We are waiting for changes…?
A person, starting from birth, is open to everything new, and it is thanks to this that his knowledge of the world, learning and development occur. The child is open to new experiences every day. He wakes up in the morning, charged with searching for adventures, joyfully joining in the game with the world around him; he is not afraid of knocked-out knees and bumps. The child grows, and his information baggage received from the outside world becomes larger. Now he is already a teenager with the philosophy “everything in life needs to be tried,” and he tries, tries, gets impressions, gains some “bumps” and tries again. Thus, as we grow up, we no longer carry within us only the joy of new discoveries and impressions, but also a lot of other sensations absorbed with them, not always positive - such as fears or uncertainty.
The need for knowledge and new experiences gradually becomes less significant and is overshadowed by others, no less important - positioning oneself in society, creating a family, professional fulfillment. A certain way of life develops, it is warm, comfortable and cozy. Everything is clear and simple, you don’t need to strain yourself, you can just calmly go with the flow. And as a result, over the years, we have a kind of “cocoon” of a perhaps boring but stable job, family, usual leisure time and a lot of established customs. Stability seems to be a symbol of success; any attack on it causes, at a minimum, panic and resistance. Getting over these feelings is not always easy; not everyone is ready for a new turn in life. Many would rather give up tempting new prospects or experiences than allow themselves to lose that very sense of peace and comfort, while avoiding both potential failures and possible successes.
Types of phobias
Types of neophobia:
- technophobia - fear of new technologies;
- Gnosiophobia - fear of knowledge and new information;
- futurophobia - fear of the future;
- ergasiophobia - fear of committing actions;
- food neophobia - fear of new foods.
Often, fear of change overcomes an individual in the process of performing his professional duties. People are afraid to enter into a new contract, change their usual business routine, or the algorithm of work responsibilities. Typically, employees who perform their duties for a long time according to established instructions suffer from this phobia.
Fear of change is a mental disorder that prevents a person from achieving high goals and leading an active lifestyle. People who are afraid of everything new have a boring and monotonous life. They are passive, do not trust anyone, and are prone to excessive anxiety and excessive worry. People get hung up on some of their own invented limitations, independently slow down their progress, miss the opportunity to transform their lives, make it richer, better and more comfortable.
The tendency to neophobia only increases with age. Most often it occurs in people over 45 years of age. Children suffer from this disorder extremely rarely.
Why is change so scary?
Why is that same tit in your hands better, even if it’s very small and shabby, than the notorious crane? Why don’t you want champagne at all so much as to risk it? There are three main reasons for this:
The first reason is the fear of those very “bumps” - disappointments or failures. “What if everything goes wrong? What if it doesn't work out? What if I lose more than I gain? - flashes through the imagination like a red line, and immediately fatal pictures of failures and misfortunes appear in orderly rows. They seem so bright and probable that the image of a possible positive result fades into the background.
The second reason is, oddly enough, but this is the fear that everything will work out! Does fear of your own success sound strange? Yes, but nevertheless, not every person is ready to accept in reality what they have been dreaming about for years. You can dream, strive, but as soon as there is a chance to fulfill this dream, you are paralyzed by the fear that you are not ready, or that you will not be able to cope with the pile of happiness that has fallen on you. Remember the stories of ordinary people who accidentally hit the lottery jackpot. Most of the lucky ones simply turned out to be unprepared for this: at best, they simply squandered the millions that had fallen on them and returned to their old lives, and at worst, they died from excesses.
The third reason is our own beliefs that limit us. Perhaps you have limited yourself by not believing in your own strength. Or maybe a dear and significant person once said to you: “What do you mean?” You won’t succeed!” or “This is not for you. Be content with what you have, keep your head down...” And perhaps he said it more than once. And you believed in it, accepted it as truth. And now we are convinced that no, it won’t work, no matter how hard you try.
conclusions
- It's okay to be afraid. Fear speaks about your stable mental health.
- Fear can and should be managed - it is a useful skill of an emotionally mature person, and not a magical superpower.
- "The sleep of reason gives birth to monsters." If you are constantly afraid of illness and death, then you are minding your own business and living a life that is not your own. Think about what you really want to do, set goals and move towards them in micro steps.
From the editor
Fear is one of our basic negative emotions that can both hinder and help us. Coach, trainer, and business consultant Evgeniy Shulman tells how to direct attention to their positive goal: .
Why do we put off making major changes in our lives? It's all because of the ancient part of our brain, which perceives any change as a threat. However, genes can be defeated using the change constructor, which is offered by intercultural communication specialist Elena Vaichikauska-Povolnova: .
“The Lizard in Your Head,” clearly and humorously tells us how our reptilian brain works Funny comics that will help you better understand yourself and everyone around you.” We have collected the author's key ideas in the review: .
You want instant results, but they are impossible
We are often attracted to change, but only if it happened right now, preferably without effort. Life throws only failures so quickly; success, as a rule, requires effort.
You blame yourself for not yet deciding to make changes, but you are afraid of how much there is to do. When the contrast between real and desired life is too great, the latter seems unattainable. Here you need to act as with any big task: break it down into many small steps, make a plan and follow it.
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Read on topic: How to determine your goals for 2022
Don't beat yourself up
Fear of change haunts those people who constantly beat themselves up. Stop doing this. Do you want to change your job? Don’t frighten yourself with the thought that your colleagues won’t accept you in your new place, and no one will be able to appreciate your potential. You haven't made an attempt yet, and until you do, nothing can be said with certainty. You need to think only about the good and not assume the worst possible scenarios. If you constantly set yourself up for negativity, then in the end you will get what you were afraid of. And this is not even the power of thought in action. The inner attitude works this way. You potentially want to receive the life scenario that is scrolling through your head. For example, if you are afraid of not fitting into a new team, you will behave separately at your new place of work, and, of course, your colleagues will be suspicious of you. You should change your attitudes to positive ones and think that everything will be fine. Then you will be friendly towards new people and will quickly be able to win their favor.
Signs of a fear of new things
The symptoms of neophobia have physical and mental manifestations. Fear of change can cause a person to feel anxious and panicky. A disturbance in a person’s mental state manifests itself in excessive fearfulness, suspiciousness, suspicion, anxiety, loss of control over the situation, and depression.
Signs of disorders of the autonomic system:
- rapid pulse;
- breathing problems;
- pain in the chest, stomach;
- trembling in the limbs;
- excessive sweating;
- dizziness;
- fainting;
- lethargy;
- numbness of some parts of the body.
How to understand that a person is neophobic:
- there is a feeling of anxiety before something new;
- Stress arises while being in an unusual environment;
- there is no desire to communicate with friends or make new acquaintances;
- there is no desire to learn new things;
- hostility towards strangers arises.
Act immediately, don't wait for the best moment
Do you want something? Don't wait for a better moment, it will never come. Fear of change should not be an obstacle to action. Do you feel motivated to achieve something? As long as the desire for change burns in your soul, it will overcome any fear. Therefore, think about a plan of action and follow it. You don't have to wait until Monday, and often you don't even have to wait until the next morning to start doing something. Always keep a good phrase in mind: people make it their life's dream to achieve something that can be achieved with just a week of hard work.
Don't worry in vain
What does a person who is late for a meeting do? He tries to mentally adjust the minibus and thinks that such experiences can somehow help him. But you are already late, and you understand it. What should be done in this situation? Call your boss and tell him you'll be late. After a call like this, you need to relax. You can't go faster than you are going. Calm down and think that everything is happening for the better. The same applies to fear of change. Psychologists say that a person who does not waste energy on worries, knows how to relax and looks to the future with a sober head will achieve success. Why waste energy and worsen your nervous system? It is not necessary. Any person must learn to relax. Take up meditation. Breathing practice will teach you to let go of unnecessary thoughts and help you find peace of mind. And this is very important for a person who does not feel solid support under his feet.
Causes of neophobia
The occurrence of a phobia is influenced by both external and internal preconditions. External factors of fear of the new are associated with the economic and political situation in Russia. Modern media are replete with sensational events of negative content, thereby negatively affecting the consciousness of the individual. People are completely unsure of the future, they are afraid of innovations and any changes in their usual way of life. Fearing change, a person does not start a family for a long time, does not give birth to children, holds the same position throughout his entire life, and is afraid to move to live in another area.
The internal causes of the destructive fear of the new are based on the personal qualities and characteristics of the individual’s psyche. A phobia can develop as a result of some kind of traumatic situation, an unsuccessful experience in the past, or serious psychological trauma received in early childhood.
Causes of phobia:
- inability and inability to change your habits, judgments, actions;
- excessive cowardice and suspicion;
- conservative lifestyle;
- indecision;
- lack of self-confidence;
- low self-esteem;
- fear of leaving comfortable living conditions;
- high level of responsibility and anxiety.
When the comfort zone decides
Probably the first people were more tolerant of change. They faced an almost identical choice: live here in minimalist conditions or live elsewhere in similar conditions. Time passed, social communities developed, people acquired households that were a pity to abandon. They left their homes only in exceptional cases.
Now the concept of a comfort zone has expanded significantly. We are all afraid to leave our small homeland. We are supported by numerous relatives, friends, business connections, a relaxed comfortable life and other factors.
It is important for a modern person to feel protected, because a countless amount of negative information is poured on him from the media and the Internet. There are so many that sometimes it’s scary to leave the house.
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We return again to what we left. Only exceptional events can force us to leave our homes: lack of money, lack of normal work, environmental factors or health concerns.
Overcome childhood fears
Why do some people constantly mark time in one place? Children's fears and complexes imposed by parents prevent people from moving forward. Why are some people constantly haunted by the fear of changes in life? Psychologists say that we need to reconsider our attitude towards this world. Childhood fears imposed by your parents prevent you from moving on. Take time to work through your inner state. Sit down and think about what complexes your parents imposed on you. Are you afraid to communicate with people? Are you afraid of becoming successful or do you think that you are a failure? Is this so? No. You have achieved a lot in life. Write down on a piece of paper all your successes that you have achieved. After reading the impressive list, you will realize that you have already learned a lot, and a bright future is just around the corner. You just need to get rid of the internal frames. It is advisable to say goodbye to them forever. Do you consider yourself a failure? Day after day, instill in yourself the idea that you are a successful person with a strong inner core. You will be able to achieve everything you want. Self-hypnosis works wonders. Change your negative thoughts to positive ones and you will see how your life changes for the better.
Change your life gradually
When life changes, you need stability in at least one of the current areas. You don't need to change your whole life at once. Do you want radical change? Start with one thing. Fear of change in life is quite natural. And in order not to drive yourself into stress, you should take a reasonable approach to the changes you make in your everyday life. Do you want to change jobs, move and find the love of your life? Start with one thing. Set your priorities and understand what is more important to you now. It makes the most sense to first change jobs, and then, when your financial situation is stable, look for new housing. When your current affairs improve, you can think about your life partner. There is no need to rush into the embrasure and radically change your existence. This behavior is fraught with stress, and as a result, depression will not be long in coming. Small changes will help you gradually change your usual way of things.
What should a person do who moves to another city and is forced to look for a job, housing and friends? He still has relatives and family in his hometown. Keep in touch with loved ones. Stable and familiar relationships will help you receive support and approval from people important to you. Communicate with your relatives more often and do not lose optimism.
