Change or die! Why you shouldn't be afraid of change

How to stop being afraid of changes in life

Change does not happen by itself. Once you take a risk, you can remain happy for the rest of your life.

Man is designed in such a way that drastic changes in life are very frightening. After all, life is much calmer if you have a permanent job, a stable income, and no major changes in the service are expected.

And suddenly it happens that you simply need to move to another city or change your job. Some people start to panic, others perceive the changes with Olympian calm.

Here is a small rating of changes that are feared or expected

Changes they fear:

• change of management in the organization where you work;
• divorce;
• the opportunity to remain alone (alone);
• reduction or dismissal;
• change of political power in the country;
• moving to another country;
• fear of losing shape for athletes and other public people;
• change in appearance for the worse, especially for women;
• large loan or mortgage.

Changes expected:

• promotion at work;
• the beginning of a joint (family) life;
• birth of a child;
• getting an apartment;
• buying a new car;
• a trip to a new country - in general, any trip.

Of course, this division is very arbitrary, because a lot depends on a person’s attitude towards life, on whether he is an optimist or a pessimist. For some, a promotion ends in a nervous breakdown, because a change in functionality is associated with great responsibility, and this entails fear, fear of this very responsibility.

Some people perceive divorce as a tragedy, but for others it is a reason to start a new life. It is no coincidence that the proverb is so widespread: “Everything that is done is for the better.” The main thing is to perceive it correctly, to see the prospect and the opportunity for self-development.

To help ease the stress of change, try the following tips.

Raise your self-esteem

Self-confidence is a quality that will help you look into the future not only with hope, but also with a smile. A person who knows his strengths and is confident in his abilities will not suffer from a fear of change. What do you call a person who hides from others all the time and is afraid to change something in his life? Jonah. This is what others will call you if you complain about your existence all the time, but don’t change anything. Before you perform any feats, you need to work on yourself and your inner feeling. Boost your self-esteem. How to do it? Write down on a piece of paper all your strengths, as well as all your achievements. Then write down your shortcomings. Do something every day to overcome your fears and inhibitions. And also don’t forget to read about your successes and personality strengths. Don't let anyone call you a failure. Act like a confident person and try to feel like you really are one. Over time, you will get used to high self-esteem, and it will become your standard form of self-awareness.

Tips for those who are afraid of change

Set a specific goal for yourself

When a person is motivated and goes towards a certain goal, he is not afraid of any changes. It is important to understand what you are really striving for, then all life’s fears will seem funny and ridiculous.

Act more and think less

No wonder there is a Russian folk proverb: “The eyes are afraid, but the hands are doing.” When changes occur in your life, you need to start acting, then there will simply be no time to think and there will be no room for fears.

Try to leave as little time as possible before taking a decisive step, and you will not have time to think - you will have to act and act decisively.

Engage your surroundings

There are suspicious people who are afraid to tell their friends about the upcoming changes so that no one will jinx it. But if you are not one of those people, then let your family and friends know about the changes in your life. Then they will be able to support you with a kind word and specific help, and they will not let you forget about the final goal.

Track your development process

If you really set yourself completely achievable goals and strive to bring them to life, then you simply need to observe the development process. To do this, it is recommended to keep something like a diary, where you note what was planned, what the result was, and what prevented you from achieving the desired result.

The last point develops the ability for self-reflection, that is, the ability not only to state the fact of failure, but also to find the reasons for your failures in order to correct everything. Such reflection is always a powerful tool for self-development, contributes to personal development and can serve you well in the future.

Take your failures the right way

It is quite natural if at first you will be haunted by failures, because you may not yet have enough experience. The main thing is not to give up, but to perceive any failure as an invaluable experience, and your own. You need to perceive your own mistakes as an opportunity to avoid similar mistakes in the future.

Any failure is a kind of crisis, a turning point, therefore, you need to look for other ways, and this is development and self-development. You learn to maneuver in the sea of ​​life between dangerous rocks, pass difficult rapids, and sooner or later you will get so close to success that you will see the long-awaited shore ahead.

Drop unnecessary fears

Of course, you say, it’s easy to reason: throw away fear. Fear is born of the unknown, but any unknown can easily be turned into knowledge. You can ask more experienced people who have experienced similar changes. You can read what is written on the forums discussing this issue.

At a new job, you can find well-disposed colleagues who will teach you how to overcome the first difficulties. In a word, the necessary information can be easily found if desired, which means that the unknown will no longer be so hopeless and will not be so scary.

Find like-minded people

Regardless of whether you have many friends or not, a large family or not, in modern society it is very easy to look for like-minded people. The Internet unites many people for completely different reasons.

There are professional communities where you can get advice from experienced colleagues or recommendations from representatives of senior positions. You can find answers to questions that torment you. You can even find a ready-made solution or a practice-tested solution to a difficult problem, a way out of a difficult situation.

For other areas of a person’s life - family, love, friendship, etc. - there are dozens of forums. You can join the discussion, ask a nagging question and get practical advice. In this sense, it is easier to resolve intimate issues on the Internet. Nobody knows you (you can even perform under a nickname), and in life you simply won’t dare to ask some questions to friends or relatives.

Give yourself the right attitude

Back in Soviet times, people were taught to engage in auto-training - self-hypnosis. Nowadays you don’t need to have a special psychological education to understand basic things: a lot in life depends on your attitude. When a mother who is just starting to walk says, “You’re going to fall,” he falls. And if you set it to “Don’t fall,” he will learn to run much faster.

It’s the same in life: when you instill the thought “I was abandoned,” you become a victim of circumstances, a scoundrel husband, etc. If you look at the situation with divorce in a different way, for example, “I am now free, independent and can build my life differently.” , then this installation truly spreads its wings for free flight.

You can find yourself a new hobby, finally start taking English or Chinese language courses, and it is quite possible that in your new environment you will find a loved one - your future life partner.

Finding yourself in a foreign city or in a new team, you don’t need to panic because there is no one to support you or lend a shoulder for support. If you take a close look at your new surroundings, you will definitely find an adviser, and then an assistant.

Understand the reasons for fear

Are you afraid to leave your comfort zone? It's quite normal. To overcome inner unrest, you need to understand the cause of your fears. What are the most common reasons?

• Rumors of change. A person who has heard about the failures of others will think that misfortune will befall him too if he tries to improve his existence. Everyone knows that the best is the enemy of the good. People are afraid of losing what they have and not getting what they dream of.
• Lack of self-confidence. People with low self-esteem are afraid to change their lives because they think that they won’t succeed. Is this logical? There is no point in being afraid of the future. If you don't try to improve your existence, you will regret missed opportunities all your life.
• Uncertainty about the future. Stability seduces many people. A comfortable life allows a person to make plans for the future. If a person does not have stability, he is afraid that things will get worse. Uncertainty is scary.
• Disregard for values. A person is afraid to change and change his worldview. But if you stand in one place all the time, you will not develop in any way. Don't be afraid to lose yourself. There is no need to compromise your values, but from time to time you just need to reconsider your views on this life.

The concept of neophobia and its impact on life

Neophobia is a fear of everything new, an irrational fear of change, new situations, people, ideas or places. On the one hand, man is a creature of habit. He can live in the same house for decades, work in the same job, drive the same car, and even eat the same dish every Friday night. On the other hand, it is human nature to seek adventure. We look forward to promotions and vacations to visit another country, constantly striving for knowledge and new achievements.

Neophobia challenges a person. In its mild form it does not cause discomfort, but in its severe form it becomes a real problem and limits life. If a person feels comfortable in their current circumstances and does not seek drastic changes, this does not mean that they suffer from neophobia. You need to think about the problem in the case when he makes a conscious decision not to stand out from the rest; refuses to try new vacation spots or avoids opportunities to make new friends; rejects innovative ideas and products, desperately clinging to the old.

Neophobia has a serious impact on everyday life. It's easy to get stuck in a rut, avoiding challenges that, when overcome, could lead to personal growth or social fulfillment. To succeed or fail, you must take risks. Both outcomes are potentially life-changing, forcing one to adapt to new circumstances. If a person suffers from neophobia, they may feel that the potential benefits of success do not outweigh the potential upheaval of introducing something new.

Don't be afraid to take responsibility for changes in your own life

Often, inaction and doubt are due to the fact that we cannot fully accept responsibility for the consequences of imminent decisions. Discussions of prospects with family and friends in such a situation often have a tinge of shifting this responsibility and a subconscious desire to gain approval for one’s actions. Therefore, when analyzing the pros and cons of a new place of work or department at a university, do not forget that this is your life, so you are the one who makes the final decision. This means that only you can decide in which direction to move. Don’t wait for approval and support from anyone: the first successful results will give you confidence in your abilities. Looking at your passion and desire to implement your idea, you will have not only those who will support you, but also those who may follow your example.

Get out of your comfort zone more often

Who is haunted by the fear of new things? People who rarely leave their comfort zone are afraid of change. You need to make a rule for yourself: every week, do something that you are afraid to do. For example, if you don’t know how and don’t like to communicate with people, go to a club or any social event. Make new acquaintances at the party and try to open up to a stranger. Such experience will be very valuable. You will understand that there is nothing wrong with approaching a person and getting to know him. It will be scary at first, but once you talk to strangers and realize that they are nice people, you will be able to easily find a common language with anyone.

If you are haunted by a fear of change, then try doing crazy things. For example, jump with a parachute. It's not as scary as it seems. Choose a good flying club and sign up for a consultation with an experienced instructor. By overcoming fear, you can feel more confident and understand that if you were able to decide on such a crazy act, then you can easily cope with any other task.

Create certainty

Our brain is an ardent conservative; it prefers to remain in the comfort zone at all costs, and reacts to any new situations with stress.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step

We cannot predict the distant future, but we have today to start from. In our information age, turning uncertainty into certainty is not so difficult. Talk to people who have experienced similar changes, search for similar situations on the Internet, and from the information received, build a suitable model of behavior and action .

Learn to focus on the present moment of your life

Repeatedly replaying events from the past in our heads, as well as dreams about the future, deprive us of the opportunity to live in the present moment and adequately assess current events. This is often the reason for self-doubt and, as a result, fear of change. Learn to feel yourself online. Don't think about what happened and what will happen, collect your thoughts and start living now. One of the most accessible ways to learn to concentrate on the present moment is to include sports in your life. Moreover, do not choose activities with repetitive movements such as running or swimming, during which you can easily become lost in thought. Give preference to what requires constant monitoring of your actions. For example, dynamic yoga, dancing, Thai boxing. Such activities will teach you not to be distracted by your “mental mixer” in your head, but to concentrate on the present moment. A useful skill that you can transfer into your everyday life.

Don't tolerate things that cause you discomfort.

Fear of change often forces us to put up with uncomfortable conditions. The main fear is that it will suddenly get even worse. For this reason, people work for years in a job they don’t like, live with tyrants or in a place that is uncomfortable for them. Remember that a chronic stressful state negatively affects not only your mood, but also your health, provoking many serious diseases. If you're not ready to make a big decision, take a break. For example, take a vacation from a job you don’t like and try to work somewhere else during this time. Go on vacation with a friend or on your own to understand how much you need to stay in a relationship with a person with whom you are uncomfortable. Rent another place and live in it for at least a week to decide whether the problem is really in the wrong place. Such a time-out from the source of discomfort will allow you to look at the situation from the outside, weigh the pros and cons, and, perhaps, make a decision for yourself.

Look for like-minded people

With a company it is easier to overcome difficulties and look for ways out of the current situation.

If possible, share your fears with loved ones. Moral support is sometimes simply necessary.

The doubts that live in your head love solitude and cannot stand company.

If there is no loved one nearby, write down on paper everything that is in your heart. This is an effective way to “throw out” excess stress.

Like-minded people