What are Hellinger Constellations and what are their dangers?

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In this article I will share my knowledge and experience of the Hellinger constellation method, what it is and why I believe that everyone needs to do a constellation for themselves at least once. And the most important thing is to understand how the hierarchy of our family works. And why do we sometimes live the way we do, even though we could be rich and successful.

What are Hellinger constellations and why is there such resonance?

This type of psychotherapy was invented by Bert Hellinger, born in 1925 (still alive and well in 2022). The method has both fans and critics, everything is as usual. The essence of the method is that the client voices a certain problem of his and the psychologist arranges it in space with the help of substitutes (people or sometimes objects). At this time, the client looks at everything from the outside. \

Guide to changing yourself.pdf Subscribe to INSTAGRAM Further in space, the substitutes begin to interact with each other, showing those feelings and emotions that arise when interacting with other substitute participants. Thus, a picture emerges of the interaction of all participants with each other and all this is the projection of the client.

The most important thing in the arrangements is that you can ask any problem, both related to your experiences and to certain objects. For example, I made arrangements for a car when I received a driver’s license, but I still couldn’t buy a car. A month later, I bought my first car, which I was extremely happy about. It’s also good to work through money using constellations.

There is also a type of constellation, the so-called “Spirit” constellations, their meaning is that you do not voice the problem to a psychologist in order to solve it. And you trust your subconscious and it seems to give out a problem that it wants to solve primarily for itself. And the subconscious is our ally and very wise. It knows a lot of things in advance and will perfectly understand what we need to work on first. In general, everything is on an intuitive level.

Step-by-step instructions for placement

1. You must clearly state your requirement. At the end, mark it with the sentence: “At the end of the arrangement, I must find out what is stopping me from doing...”
2. Remember all your relatives, living and long dead, close and distant. Write the names of these people on blank sheets of paper. One name per sheet.
3. Add to your list other people who played important roles in family life. Also write their names on separate sheets of paper.
4. Mix all the sheets of paper as if you were mixing cards, shuffle them and place them clean side up.
5. Step on each square of paper in turn and listen to your feelings.
6. Assign the sheets a number and an index of your feelings on a ten-point scale.
7. At the end of the procedure, compare the results.
8. According to Hellinger's theory, the problem lies with the person with the lowest rating.
9. The highest rating of family members means that this is your source of energy.
10. The solution to the problem is similar to a mental attraction to the person - the source of negativity and a request for help.

Why are constellations viewed negatively?

Fortunately, my first arrangement was with a professional clinical psychologist. And everything went quickly, with an understanding of the situation and a complete release of such a burden from my shoulders that I almost immediately took off from euphoria. This is where my journey of studying constellations began, as a method of working through negative beliefs and scenarios.

Further, naturally, after my arrangement, I participated as a deputy in other studies. Everything was just as successful; it was clear how people shed all the negativity from the past and gain confidence in their current life. Read more about how to change your life.

Read more: How to develop intuition

But somehow I ended up doing a constellation with completely different people, whose work I had never seen, but judging by the reviews, this is something super-duper and this constellation is a super professional. So, the arrangement lasted 2 hours and the arranger did not achieve the result for the client. That is, the process remained unfinished. I'm wow to be honest. After such arrangements, people write negative reviews and say that this is evil. Of course, these psychologists do not complete the process they have begun. A person's pimple is picked out and not anointed with iodine, but it begins to bleed and make itself felt.

Simply put, to understand whether you need an arrangement, go as a deputy; your problem will not be sorted out, but you will get a good impression of the arranger and you will understand whether you need to go to him. To understand whether the arranger is a good one, just look at the clients and their requests, if people leave satisfied and happy, then everything is in order. You can trust this person with your life.

Peculiarities

The Hellinger method involves working in a group of up to 30 people. There is no specific distribution of roles. Everything happens intuitively. People give themselves over to feelings, emotions and go where their subconscious leads them.

This is complete improvisation. Complete strangers gather. Then one person formulates his request, and others help him solve the problem, getting used to the roles of his family members.

Although constellations always have a leader, he does not tell the participants what to do or how to behave. However, people get used to the roles so much that they understand and adopt even the facial expressions, gait, and speech of the person they are portraying.

What awaits you at the constellations? You will cry like a little girl.

Everyone I saw for the first time at the constellations was crying. I myself cried in front of 20 people. But I didn’t feel any embarrassment or shame because these tears were therapeutic and everything that was stored inside of us came out and we had to relive it, but without pain, but with an understanding of why people hurt and what is the purpose of life in this. Everything goes through pain. But fortunately. This is the psychology of people.

I have a friend who doesn’t believe in all this nonsense and considers it sectarianism. But somehow we decided to go to the constellation, I am a friend and another friend. And my friend has the fate that at the age of 4 he lost his parents in an accident. In general, a friend came with some request related to money and we, as deputies, stepped into the space. And all the deputies, in all roles, just started crying a lot. Everyone was crying. Because there was so much pain that it could no longer be contained.

After the event, he said that he was blown away by what he saw and felt everything on his own skin and how he relieved himself of some pain from which he suffered greatly and could not express it in any way.

What problems does the technique deal with?

Psychotherapy based on the practice of Bert Hellinger is designed to solve numerous problems:

• identifying family conflicts, searching for solutions;
• resolving problems due to infertility in couples;
• problematic situations that arise after the death of a loved one;
• eliminating fears, various diseases, crisis situations;
• conflicts, problems with adopted children;
• problematic situations associated with the presence of any addiction in one of the family members.
• conflicts arising between younger and older family members.

Before using the technique, the psychologist must conduct an introductory conversation with the patient to find out what problems concern him.

How to solve any problem, even if you don’t have the strength to do anything?

Constellations are one of the simplest and most profound methods of problem solving. Both psychological and, for example, diseases.

If you are at a dead end and don’t know where to move, you live like in the movie Groundhog Day and experience pain from life.

The only correct and competent decision is to make an arrangement, understand the problem and solve its root.

In 60 minutes of constellation with an experienced constellation, you will find the root of the problem and solve it.

Click on the button below and sign up for an arrangement both live and online.

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History of discovery and main followers

The founder of the technique is Bert Hellinger. This is a German psychologist who simultaneously studied philosophy and psychotherapy. In the 80s of the 19th century, he created a new technique that was intended to resolve family problems.

He combined a number of psychological consultations, which allowed him to establish a new practical method. Directions that make up the arrangement technique:

• family psychotherapy;
• analysis of life scenarios;
• hypnotherapy developed by Milton Erickson;
• primary therapy from Arthur Yanov;
• the provocative technique of Frank Farrelly;
• solution-based brief therapy;
• group dynamics;
• family reconstruction, sculpture;
• conceptual therapy.

Each of these techniques provided the basis for the development of psychological constellations.

An important point after the arrangement

After the arrangement there is always a slight euphoria and a feeling of love for everything. This is not some sectarian bullshit, it’s just that our psyche is glad to finally get rid of the layer of negativity in which it has lived for the last decades. And in general, after dropping the load, there is a flow of happiness.

But the other side of any psychotherapy in general, no matter the arrangement, no matter how different, is that after draining all the negativity from the past, another will always come out. Our subconscious helps us understand what to pay attention to and therefore, after good work, in most cases another problem arises or mild depression emerges.

Yes, after psychotherapy, after some time, the cleansing processes continue and they manifest themselves as light flows inside the body, pumping out all the negativity. The point is that this can be compared to lifting mud from the bottom of a reservoir. With psychotherapy, we lift a certain load from the bottom of the lake, but the water still raises some of the silt. I hope the analogy is clear.

The dangers of bluffing in psychology and psychotherapy

The poker term "bluff" - a good face for a bad game - causes negative feelings when it turns out to be applied to science. You can believe or not believe religious figures, mystics, esotericists - but the authority of science in the eyes of people is too high. And when another “scientific sensation” appears on the Internet (and long before the Internet era), like the discovery of giant skeletons in India in the spring of 2007, people naturally feel disappointed when they learn that the National Geographic Society doesn’t know any giants, but Photoshop can do a lot ... It’s a shame, of course, that there is no archaeological discovery, no scientific miracle. But the authority of real archaeologists did not suffer. And no one was hurt - we sighed, laughed...

But when we are not talking about dead giants, but about living people - that is, a soap bubble turns out to be something that directly concerns them and has an impact on them... This is no longer a joke (giants could, with a stretch, be taken for a joke) - this almost a crime.

A psychologist and psychotherapist who use untested, unscientific methods of work are simply dangerous. If only because they cannot predict the consequences of their work for each specific individual.

But it becomes even more interesting when a certain method is proudly brandished by people who have a very indirect relationship to psychology and not the slightest connection to psychotherapy.

How many arrangements do you need to make?

Unfortunately, there is no answer to this question. It all depends on your childhood and everything that happened in it. In childhood, we draw everything from the external environment, therefore, the more shit we saw, excuse me, the more shit we carry within ourselves.

And it’s even worse when a child sees scandals between parents and begins to blame himself for everything. The child's psyche is so complex that it blames itself for everything. This is where guilt complexes appear in adult life, which need to be cleaned and removed as thoroughly as possible.

Read more: Self-hypnosis - immersion technique

Personally, I made 20-30 arrangements, to be honest I don’t remember anymore. But I had a strong desire to free myself from all the accumulated negativity in my soul. And I constantly solved my problems and got a kick out of it, and now my hobby has grown into a job and that’s even cooler.

I solved problems with a complex of guilt, shame, resentment, anger, anger. All this was not removed the first time, but the process after installation lasts up to 1.5 years. Or it might work the next day. I also did the arrangement for the car. And I don’t know if it was thanks to this or another, but after 2 weeks I bought myself a 2002 Mini Cooper. Just right for a first car.

Principles of practice

The practice of psychological constellations can be divided into several layers, which help to understand different problems:

1. Psychological drama. A patient who wants to deal with the current life situation must choose several substitutes. They will play the role of other people who relate to the problem. By observing the chosen deputies from the outside, you can understand what the life situation consists of, what factors lie at the root of the problem.
2. Arrangements that are motor in nature. Since the chosen deputies are similar to participants in a life situation, their movements will help to see the real state of affairs.
3. In order to scan a life situation in detail and in depth, you need to study the facial expressions and gestures of the selected people.
4. A performance based on suggestion. The psychologist must raise the patient’s concerns and recruit people who will exert certain pressure on the client.

In some practices, the patient himself can recruit substitutes, in others only a psychologist.

Psychological constellations are a dubious practice used to resolve various problems. The technique has both fans and haters, whom it could not help.

Since there is no confirmed evidence for the effectiveness of this technique, it cannot be called a scientific practice.

What do other people decide with constellations?

During all this time, I had seen enough of many cases and thought that in my life I was the only one with a star. But no, I was deeply mistaken. I remember a pretty girl came to the constellation with the problem that her father raped her as a child. I was simply blown away. She says that she seemed to have forgiven him, but during the constellations she cried in pain. Strongly. Very much.

But the most interesting thing is that in the process an understanding comes of why the father acted this way and basically this motive is love. Yes, it sounds strange and wild, but love manifests itself in different ways. I'm shocked.

And another interesting case, the psychologist told. Her husband was diagnosed with brain cancer and was already in a coma. It was at this time that she was learning Hellinger constellations. I won’t describe it at length, but they did the arrangement for her husband. The man came out of his coma and continued to live. But he began to have difficulty moving, as the parts of the brain responsible for coordination were affected. But the intellect, thank God, was not affected.

I myself saw him live, an adequate person, with humor. But he had difficulty moving. Although I took the subway myself. I don't know whether to believe it or not, but it is true. I don’t even really believe it myself yet.

Systemic constellations – esotericism or science?

The concept of a universal information field, in which objects are interconnected, without reference to distance and time, is the key to understanding the method of systemic constellations.

Einstein's theory of relativity

, fundamental discoveries in the field of quantum physics are clear examples of the fact that not everything that takes place in our world and has been proven by practice has a clear scientific explanation.

At one time, Einstein tried to prove a unified theory of the universal field, but he failed. In other matters, he once could not believe in the fact, already proven by scientific experiments, that an object of the microworld can simultaneously be in different points of space, and at the same time have several states at the same time (quantum physics).

Rupert Sheldrake's theory of morphogenetic fields

- another attempt to explain inexplicable phenomena. According to this theory, the world is permeated with common formative fields in which the experience of the entire collective mind, both ours and our ancestors, is recorded, the same applies to other animate beings - animals. In this case, the exchange of information between the field and the brain of a person or animal occurs continuously.

An example demonstrating the validity of the theory of morphogenetic fields is the strange “remembering” of the behavior of their distant ancestors by tits in England, when they demonstrated the skill of extracting milk from capped bottles. Birds slowly and gradually learned this at the beginning of the last century, when farmers delivered milk in bottles directly to the customer's doorstep. During the Second World War, no one dared to leave milk unattended, and this custom was interrupted for 8 whole years, during which more than one generation of tits changed. However, the birds instantly “remembered” their skill, and everywhere, as soon as milk began to be placed on the doorsteps again.

The method of systemic constellations is a working method, the effectiveness of which has been proven by the practice of many of its followers, but it may not yet be explained by clear formulas.

And in general, when science approaches the limit of its capabilities, it approaches mysticism and esotericism, sometimes for a short period of time, and often for a very long time.

Two main problems that the arrangement solves

We are all human and love money, and most importantly we would like there to be more of it, right? And there are also various problems related to money, such as: constant debts, money that always goes somewhere, loans, and it is almost impossible to escape from this. Some force still leads to these problems and there is no end to them.

So, about 5 years ago, I thought about the problem of money and why I didn’t have it, and it disappeared somewhere without even having time to settle in my pocket. Moreover, earlier in my childhood, I remember always saving money and I had enough of it, because I wanted a computer.

But then I came to the constellation with a request for money, and the following picture emerged in my family: there was an ancestor in the family who was close to the state treasury or something similar. He either stole and was afraid that he would be caught, or else they simply stole money from the treasury, and he decided to settle scores with himself using soap and rope. Where does the information about the treasury come from? It’s just that the deputies have a stream of intuitive assumptions, and their sensations become greatly aggravated. In general, after the arrangement I stopped being afraid of big money. And this makes me very happy.

The second strong problem is related to abortion. Children who are born take a lot of energy and attention from both parents and children born after abortions. If a person has such a problem, he cannot live happily, since he constantly wants to save his newly born brother or sister. I had the same problem, I cried a lot. But then came acceptance and the desire to move on.

Psychologists would NOT want you to know these secrets about yourself

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What if, instead of paying for years for useless consultations with a psychologist, in 21 days you can work with yourself? Get rid of negative thoughts and states forever. And instead live a calm and happy life? Stop living in stress due to relationships or constant lack of money?

Tell me this is impossible?

I thought so too, until I started working with myself

LIVING HAPPY IS EASY

My name is Ivan, I am 35 years old, and I have been practicing psychology for 15 years. I have studied all the basic methods and techniques through which I help people find happiness. NLP, hypnosis, body-image therapy. I was invited on television as an expert.

And it was... just a nightmare!

I lived in a state of depression for 7 years (constant stress exhausted me). I had a lot of low self-confidence (my self-esteem was below 0). I could not calmly communicate with people, it seemed to me that I was not worthy of them.

The relationship did not work out (because I was very negative, jealous, a doormat). I’m generally silent about decent earnings; I earned 15,000 rubles a month and thought that was the limit. I didn’t want to live... Envy.

The worst thing is, I thought I would have to live like this forever, and I don’t deserve love and happiness.

But it only got worse, negative states fell on me like a snowball. It felt like I was sitting in a deep, black hole from which there was no way out. Hopelessness, despair, pain, resentment.

My life has turned into endless torture. But then a miracle happened...

I FOUND THE KEY... EVERYONE HAS IT...

One day my father came home from work, a little drunk, although he never drank much.

He came into the kitchen..., looked at me with a dissatisfied expression and began to say with anger how worthless I was, how I couldn’t do anything, and in general, how sorry he was that he was my father.

At first I felt severe mental pain (this is very painful to hear from my family). Then I got offended (does that mean I’m not a favorite son?!) And then an insight came to me...

I received that magical kick that I had been waiting for all my life. It changed my thinking, my life and my relationships with my environment.

I had already forgiven my father simply because he told me the truth and I was happy about it!

But then the most interesting thing began...

Literally 5 minutes later I was already sitting at the computer and writing out all the psychological (!) methods of working with myself.

I was even confused, because my plans were to continue to suffer all my life.

It was such an incredible feeling of freedom and desire to do something that I burst into tears of happiness.

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Classification

With the development of psychology and the emergence of new followers of the method of psychological constellations, several types of this technique arose, which have a separate classification.

Family

A type of arrangement that consists of two stages:

1. Diagnostic procedures designed to obtain information of interest from the patient.
2. Selection of solution options.

The technique is intended to solve family problems between close relatives.

Structural

When using techniques of this type, abstract concepts are used to depict various illnesses and feelings. The patient must take the place of the figures presented before him. Then its connections with various elements of the system are studied. Various figures can be placed around a person, which play the role of other people, different objects.

Organizational

Another type of technique that is similar to family constellation, but instead of relatives, colleagues, managers, clients, suppliers, and banks are placed around the patient. Used to solve business problems.

Client

A technique developed to help people working in social services, educational and medical institutions - doctors, teachers, psychologists. Technology allows a person to understand who is helping whom.

Spiritual

When applying this technique, a group of people is considered as a space that is intended for the manifestation of the spirit.

Myths about constellations

The most important myth about formations says that deputies take on the role that they assume in formations. As a deputy, I probably took part in 100 arrangements and I can say with confidence that I didn’t attach anything to myself, but on the contrary, I just got rid of everything unnecessary. Don’t believe those who tell you this, just check it for yourself.

Practice: theater of one director

Those interested can see the arrangers in action.

A very amateur film “Arrangements of Elena Brezhneva”. Request from a young girl: she wants to meet “her” man, but apparently it’s not working out yet. The arranger offers to choose substitutes - for the client and the desired man. He asks the client to place them the way she wants. The girl, without thinking twice, unites them in a hug...

And then something strange begins. The arranger asks the deputy how long she can stand like that (with her hands clasped around the “lover’s” neck). What if it's day? Two three?

The substitute child of this couple is introduced into the arrangement. Wow, all he can do is stand on the sidelines, since in this position his “mother” and “father” can only be occupied with each other! From all this, the arranger concludes that the client has too romantic ideas about life with her future partner, and there is no place for a child here... I feel sorry for the client from the bottom of my heart: she only nods, agreeing with the “guru” and not at all thinking about the “kitchen psychology” she heard.

It is absolutely incomprehensible why a young girl should not have romantic feelings for the man of her dreams. For falling in love, the initial period of a relationship, romance is more than natural - even for not so young people. The client was supposed to sit the deputies opposite each other and imagine that they were negotiating a marriage contract point by point, or what? And there the “child” would have sat down next to him... What is strange and wrong in the fact that, by joining the couple in an embrace, the girl conveyed her image of tenderness and intimacy?

Why were there questions about how long a deputy can stand hugging a man? Does the constellator really believe that people are capable of having sex around the clock without doing anything else? And this is exactly what the client dreams of? Where does this opinion come from?

Next, the client’s substitute parents are introduced into the constellation. And this is even stranger - from the point of view of a non-adept Hellinger. The girl is clearly of age, and is also unlikely to choose a partner of school age... What do parents have to do with it? The arranger, as ordered by Hellinger, decided to go through the “family system” - and how relationships with parents prevent a girl from building her happiness...

There is no need to say how amateurish and superficial this all looks. But the arranger, like a fish in water, arranges the “figures” this way and that, puts the girl (the client is already in the arrangement) opposite the “father” and passionately suggests that she should tell him: “I’m fine, dad!” It starts to smell like soap. Brazilian. Television. “Mama” admits that she got goosebumps... Of course: the director helps the puppets play what he needs them to play. Gives his all!

And the credits in the film are interesting. One of them is that constellations help solve any problem... partially.

And what complaints might there be later? The person will convince himself that he has partially felt better. I realized something about myself. But I didn’t quite understand what exactly. Again, it gave me goosebumps. The problem was and will remain unresolved, but partially something happened!

In conclusion, something about the arranger. After graduating from the defectology faculty of Moscow State Pedagogical Institute, she worked as a defectologist and speech therapist (why need the clarification? Moscow State Pedagogical Institute also produces psychologists, but this is not the case here). But even in the 3rd year I became interested in practical psychology. I visited Egides, Sinton, and the Violetovs (from a short autobiography: “In 1998 I ended up at the Center for World Relations. It was like an explosion: I began to realize myself, my path. A year later I began working as an instructor in Society, then in Harmonies. I absorbed the flow of information, my circle of friends almost completely changed, new books and ideas came... I came into contact with spirituality. The second stage of reiki") [3]. How can a “practical psychologist” be without Reiki - absolutely nowhere, especially after coming into contact with spirituality. Integrative family therapy, thanatotherapy... Well, Hellinger somehow organically fit into this set. It feels like Mrs. Brezhneva herself was once well “hooked” on “trainings and self-improvement” - it’s something like a favorite hobby, without which there is no life. Is it surprising that others get hooked? This is an eternal party where you will always get attention!

Together with her husband (whom she met in Sinton), she created a training program. Invites you to trainings. Arrangements according to Hellinger - 5000 rubles per person. And the price is too high for a party - and for working with a person who is neither a psychologist, much less a psychotherapist... It’s not the money that I’m sorry for, it’s the people. On the other hand, maybe they, who do not even want to delve into what they are doing, deserve just such a specialist - a special education teacher?

Personal conclusions on arrangements

I think this method is effective and has a very positive impact on people’s lives. I don’t know where the negativity is coming from, but most likely it is either unfounded, or on some order. Although again, it all depends on the arrangers and their experience. Fortunately, I fell into the right hands, but I can’t speak for others.

I gained a lot of experience, and most importantly, I gained an even greater understanding of human psychology and the psychology of the species. There is room to grow and strive.

It is also important to understand why you need to do the arrangement yourself. It certainly brings miracles, but it is not a panacea. The most optimal way is to bombard global problems with arrangements, and small ones with already defined techniques, where you can work on yourself. For example, this is what I do, if some kind of problem arises that I cannot solve on my own, I go to the arrangement. I solve all minor problems myself.

In this article, Hellinger constellations, what they are, I described my thoughts about this wonderful process. I’m not an arranger myself, so if I wrote something wrong, just correct it. If you need an experienced arranger, then write, I will recommend those with whom I personally worked.

Hellinger's family system concept

German psychotherapist Bert Hellinger drew public attention to the method of systemic family constellations in the late 80s of the 20th century. Constellations as a method of psychotherapeutic influence, however, were used before it: for example, within the framework of psychodrama and sand therapy.

Despite this, Hellinger constellations still differ significantly from other psychotherapeutic practices: this mainly concerns the ideas on which his method is based, in particular the concept of the morphogenetic field.

Morphogenetic field and fields of consciousness

The Hellinger constellation method is called systemic and family, because it is based on the concept of a morphogenetic field, used in natural science circles. For the first time, the hypothesis about the existence of intracellular information was independently put forward by the Soviet biologist Alexander Gurvich and the Austrian researcher Pierre Weiss, but it was developed by other scientists, in particular the British biochemist, plant physiologist and parapsychologist Rupert Sheldrake.

Briefly, the concept of a morphological field can be represented by the following theses:

• each individual cell of the body has its own individual morphogenetic field, which contains information about the entire organism as a whole;
• these individual fields of cells together form a single morphogenetic field of the organism;
• a single morphogenetic field controls both each individual cell and the entire organism as a whole [R. Sheldrake, 2005].

Soviet mathematician and philosopher Vasily Vasilyevich Nalimov, based on the idea of ​​a morphological field, created the concept of fields of consciousness, the ideas of which are very close to the well-known theory of the collective unconscious of Carl Gustav Jung. In the course of studying altered states of human consciousness and methods of achieving them (meditation, psychedelic drugs, etc.), Nalimov came to the conclusion that imaginative thinking is due to the presence in space of information that a person perceives through his body, i.e. we seem to connect to the flow of images with the help of our biological structures, and do not generate them from within [V. Nalimov, 1979].

Despite the fact that both of the above concepts are logical, they can receive sufficient scientific confirmation and be considered objective. And this circumstance did not prevent Hellinger from using them as the basis for his ideas.

The role of the family system in human life

Following the concept of the morphogenetic field, Hellinger came to the conclusion that since the family is an open living system, it also has a single field that contains information about the entire family, and in the consciousness of each individual family member there is information about all its other members, presented in “ image of the family” contained in the unconscious.

According to Hellinger, any family system is subject to three laws, which he called the Orders of Love:

1. Law of Belonging: Every family member has an equal right to belong to it, i.e. any of his life experiences, whatever they may be, cannot be the reason for excluding a person from the family.
2. Law of Hierarchy: each family member has his own place in the family hierarchy system, which is built according to the principle: whoever came into the system earlier stands above others. Thus, parents are ranked above children, older children have priority over younger ones, etc.
3. The law of balance between “taking” and “giving”: if one of the family members gives something to another, he must give something of equal value in return. This does not apply only to the gift of life, because... children cannot (and should not) give life to their parents in return: they can only pass it on - to their children [B. Hellinger, 2003].

Violation of these laws leads to an imbalance in the family, which leads to a deterioration in the condition, well-being and quality of life of its members, therefore the goal of systemic family constellations is to return to balance through a systemic analysis of the family and eliminating the causes of problematic situations.

Thus, the basis of the classical method of systemic family constellations is the idea that the current problems in a person’s life are not related to his personal life experience, but to the general experience of his family, which affects each of its members.

Since all family members are connected by a single morphological field containing information about everything that happens to them during the entire existence of the family, the rejected life experience of one of its members will necessarily be reproduced again in order to be included in the family system until the problem is resolved.

This phenomenon, according to Hellinger's theory, is called "family conscience", due to which an innocent person suffers from the fact that the life experience of one of his ancestors was rejected in the past. The very relationship between a person and his family members is called interweaving, the resolution of which is the purpose of the arrangement [B. Hellinger, 2007].

Let's give an example: if Ivan's grandmother once had an abortion, because of which her mother kicked her out of the house and did not forgive her for the rest of her life, then Ivan's daughter can also have an abortion, since she is destined to experience the experience of her great-grandmother instead of her, i.e. e. Ivan’s family needs to accept the fact that their daughter had an abortion - only in this way will the experience be included in the morphological field of the family.

Hellinger identified two main reasons for the rejection of life experience, which results in intertwining:

• Rejection of one's life experience by the person himself. Occurs when a life experience brings unbearable emotional pain to a person, and the only way to cope with it is to repress it from consciousness. This includes serious losses, illness, war experience, etc.
• Rejection of a person's life experience by his family. Something else is happening here - a person can accept his life experience, whatever it may be, but his family is not able to do this. For some moral or ethical reasons, the entire family or an individual member does not accept the person and his experience, thereby excluding him from the family. It is important to note that this includes not only negative experiences, but also a person’s simple departure from family customs: for example, rejection of non-traditional sexual orientation, a different way of life, thinking, etc. [B. Hellinger, 2007].

Thus, the problematic situation is directly related to the violation of one or more Orders of Love in the family system, as a result of which intertwining arose - this is exactly what Bert Hellinger believed. The constellations that he created help not only to identify this violation, but also to eliminate it, resolving the interweaving and freeing the client from its negative consequences.

Vdovin Ivan

• More than 15 years in psychology
• Owner of 2 successful businesses
• Developed his own method “Key Therapy”
• Certified NLP Practitioner
• Certified Hypnotherapist
• In practice I use: Gestalt therapy, imagery therapy, body therapy, art therapy, hypnosis, Hellinger constellations
• Helped over 100 clients
• I invested more than 500,000 rubles in my education
• My blog is visited by more than 1500 people per day

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How family constellations work

Each of us, when meeting some people, experiences a storm of positive emotions, and with others – irritation and hostility. This ability to “read” people formed the basis of the constellation method. For those who are not involved in a problem situation, it is easier to “count” the flaws in someone else’s system.

Hellinger family constellations are usually performed in groups. This is a game in which each participant plays the role of a specific representative of the clan.

The roles are assigned by the client who wants to deal with the problematic situation. He chooses deputies for himself and the necessary family members. Arranges them in accordance with his image. It is important that the participants in the game are internally similar to their characters. The constellation therapist asks them about sensations in the body and emotions.

The client gets the opportunity to observe his deputies from the outside and see the situation from a different angle.

Laws of order of love

The family constellation method is based on two main concepts - conscience and order. The psychotherapist in personal philosophy relies on the aspect of conscience, which acts as an analyzer and “organ of balance” of a person. The system will work well only if the conscience is calm - then there is internal confidence that family life has worked out. Anxiety means that a person can no longer belong to the system. This concept is a detector of the degree of internal balance.

Hellinger divides conscience into unconscious and conscious. If an individual acts in accordance with the latter, he violates the rules of the unconscious. Thus, the conscious conscience gives us excuses, and the unconscious makes us feel guilty. The psychotherapist says that conflict between them often causes problems in the family. The relationship between husband and wife in such a conflict will be destroyed even in the presence of strong love.

Many people believe that established family routines can change under their influence or that they can be easily defeated with some effort. However, love is not capable of giving order, since the latter serves as a fundamental principle, and love is only a component of order. Thus, love is formed exclusively within any order, and it is impossible to change it through one’s own efforts.

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Project management remains an art

There are a huge number of indicators that speak about the effects and value of a particular project. It is customary to evaluate these indicators before the start of a project in order to decide whether it is worth pursuing it at all. It is believed that for many of them, such as NPV, IRR, ROI, payback period there are calculation methods. And they really are. However, if you take a closer look at them, an amazing picture opens up. All the digital indicators that are so beautiful and beloved by managers rest on a shaky foundation of either assumptions or just fantasies. The basis, for example, for calculating such an indicator as NPV, that is, discounted cash flow, is based on three basic assumptions: that we know the cash flows that the project will bring for years to come; that we know how much we will invest for years to come; that we know what money will be worth years in advance. Roughly the same assumptions, with the exception of the cost of money, which is simply assumed unchanged, underlie IRR, payback period and ROI calculations.

All this is very reminiscent of an old story that I encountered as a young specialist. This was back in the USSR, when behind every penny there was an invisible ghost... no, not communism, but the OBKhSS. And the standard makers at the factory, using terribly long formulas, calculated how much it would cost to manufacture each part. Using technological maps, they calculated how much it would cost to bring in and retract the cutter, grind and polish. All this was multiplied by the coefficients of the hardness of the material, the grade of the turner, the illumination of the workplace, the type of machine and a dozen others, each of which was taken from voluminous reference books. The data was then transferred to a large computer designed to calculate salaries. The last coefficient in the formula was called, in my opinion, the “scientifically based norm”, for which there were no tables in the reference books. When asked how this norm was justified, the management looked at us like a professor at a kindergartener and gently explained that if the worker did not receive his 350 rubles a month, he would simply quit. And this is precisely what this coefficient is “justified”.

An experienced project manager does approximately the same thing when assessing the effect of a particular project and calculating NPV or ROI: he carefully finds out what value needs to be obtained, and then gets it. And only then he explains why, in our turbulent world, rich in crises, sanctions and other bird flu, he did not fit into the budget or the project did not provide a return on investment.

A similar picture is observed when assessing the project’s chances of success. There are methods for analyzing and planning responses to risks, but in general all the “scientific” methods set out in AFW, PMBOK, PRINCE2 and other methods speak more about how to do a project than about what exactly needs to be done in the project. The gaps between these “whats” are filled by the project manager himself or the one who is responsible for packages and portfolios of projects, to the best of his own creativity and ability to look beyond the horizon of events. This is why, in my opinion, project management remains an art, albeit supported instrumentally. Taking photographs with good cameras is easier and more enjoyable, but none of them have a “masterpiece” mode.

In short, as a manager I was sorely lacking a good tool that would allow me to look into the future. By this time, I already had a decent grasp of Hellinger constellations and quite successfully applied them in an organizational context, for example, to clarify the field of forces during changes, work with conflicts and instead of marketing research.

When assessing the effect of a particular project and calculating NPV or ROI, an experienced project manager carefully finds out what value needs to be obtained, after which he obtains and justifies it.