How to interest a man by correspondence: 9 ways

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14-01-2022
Author: Mysekret Team
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Let's imagine that you decided to write to the guy first, chose one of the working phrases , but then the conversation does not work out or continues in a friendly manner. What to do? To move the dialogue into a romantic direction, you need to flirt correctly.

But here’s another situation: a guy you’ve liked for a long time wrote to you. It is important not only to answer the question “what are you doing” , but also to continue the conversation with flirtation.

How and where to meet?

Social media. This is a convenient way to find a suitable person based on age, location and appearance. However, there are no guarantees whether a person is free or in search if he has not set the appropriate status.
Dating sites and apps. Such applications independently select people located nearby and who meet the specified criteria.
Thematic groups and forums. The most natural way to meet each other, guarantees similar interests and many topics to discuss.
Online trainings and online master classes. Teamwork on your personality or project brings you closer than ever. It's quite easy to find your people here.

Article on the topic: 10 best places to meet a man

Important! Don’t delay virtual communication, try to translate it into reality as quickly as possible. Then you will be able to fully assess the character and behavior of a person.

You will learn much more in this article: How to meet a guy.

Make jokes at the right time and laugh at his jokes

Of course, you shouldn’t deliberately “squeeze” jokes out of yourself, but it wouldn’t hurt to show yourself as a cheerful person.
Guys, for the most part, like girls with a sense of humor. Don’t be afraid to tease your interlocutor a little, or insert witty humor into your messages. Try not to make your dialogue boring and monotonous. Add emoticons to your correspondence to show that you are really funny.

How to intrigue him, lure him in

Reply to messages within 2-3 minutes. A little anticipation builds interest. Just a little wait, if you disappear for a few weeks, the guy will most likely forget about such an interlocutor.
Try to be more interested in his life than talking about yourself. All people are selfish and love to chat about their plans.
From the first messages, create an image of a positive and wealthy person; no one is attracted to whiners who see problems in everything.

#1. Avoid platitudes

Banal cliches in messages, for example, “Hello, how are you?”, cause irritation and boredom. Guys really value originality and resourcefulness.

You need to write the way you communicate in life. Then unique phrases and words will be associated with you. Don't be afraid to seem strange, the main thing is to remain within the bounds of decency.

#2. Don't even think about comparing him to other men

Comparison always has a negative effect. If you want a guy to become better, never say that there is someone better than him, especially when referring to these individuals.

Most likely, he will deliberately hate them, ignore them, be jealous of them, and definitely will not learn anything good. Suffice it to remember how your parents used your friend or sister as an example, because this provoked quarrels and lowered self-esteem. Important! Even if a man does not show how painful it is for him to hear such statements, it will leave an imprint on the relationship.

#3. Don't talk about your shortcomings

If a man chose you as his girlfriend, this indicates his sympathy. By highlighting your disadvantages, you literally force people to pay special attention to them. At every meeting, he will look appraisingly at the shortcomings and think about them. Why give yourself such a “gift”?

On the contrary, you can point out your advantages. Not plumpness, but juicy beards, not a sad look, but sparkling eyes. Then the guy will look at you with adoration.

Important! No one will love a person who does not love himself.

#4. Look for new topics

To interest each other, you will have to talk about something. Any topic is coming to an end.

To avoid awkward pauses, you can discuss:

pets;
the specifics of his work;
what kind of relationship he wants, what he expects from a girl, how he sees his family;
mysticism;
awkward but funny stories;
features of the horoscope and character of the interlocutor, of course in a comic and light form.

The more you communicate with a man, the clearer his priorities and interests will become. Then it will be possible to talk about your compatibility and more serious plans. Important! The main goal is to impress the guy, but to determine whether he is right for you. Ask what is really interesting.

It might be interesting: how to understand that a man likes you by correspondence.

#5. Don't answer dryly

Dry answers indicate disinterest and formal communication. Emotional responses, on the contrary, provoke the guy to continue the conversation, catch him, and intrigue him. Sympathy is felt even through correspondence, as well as stiffness and detachment.

#6. Call him by name

The sound of one's own name is music to a person. When you pronounce his name, you emphasize his uniqueness and significance in this world. This is why people find it so unpleasant when their name is distorted or their letter is forgotten.

During the conversation, you can ask the man whether the meaning of the name matches his character.

Important! If you didn’t catch the guy’s name, it’s better to ask again than to make a mistake or try to avoid names.

#7. Let him miss you

Any girl is pleased to know that she is missed. The feeling of melancholy when apart makes you appreciate spending time together more.

To make a guy miss you:

Don't tell all the secrets about yourself, extend the pleasure by becoming a mystery girl.
Don't forget about your friends, relatives, business. The guy must understand that you have your own busy life, then it will be even more interesting for him.
Look after yourself even when you are not with him and do not forget about your social networks. If he sees your gorgeous photos, hears friends discussing your image, this will encourage him to be even closer to such a girl.
Stop texting for at least 1 day. Then he will have time to miss you and appreciate spending time alone. The contrast is especially noticeable when you bring positive emotions into a guy's life.
If you are planning a meeting with your interlocutor, you can send a message in the spirit of “I can’t wait to meet you.” Then the guy himself will begin to anxiously wait for this moment.

#8. Add intrigue

The intrigue caused in the correspondence may be connected with you or with his personality. All people are selfish, men are no exception. To intrigue a guy, make him think about himself at your suggestion. For example:

“I realized something about you...”
“Do you know that you have a special character?”
“Did you come to my page?” If he says that it’s not him, you can answer: “But I would like it to be you.”
“Can I ask you a personal question?”

You don’t need to reveal all your cards right away, he should be intrigued. Instead of a quick answer, flirt with your interlocutor. For example, “I don’t even know, I’ll think about whether it’s worth telling you this :)” Then you need to flirtatiously describe the man’s virtues, he will be very pleased.

The intrigue associated with you may look like this:

“I’ve been smiling all day since your message/last night.”
“Today I woke up so early, I decided to watch the sunrise on the roof/in the park/on the balcony.” Extraordinary girls attract much more attention. You also emphasize your energy and interest in your own life.
“Uh, I have a problem...”, then wait for a response from him, and: “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

#9. Don't reply to a message right away

The one who responds longer than the interlocutor seems more unavailable and busy. However, we are talking about 5-10 minutes; it is tactless to respond after a few days.

Pay attention to how quickly the young man responds; if the message arrives immediately, it is enough to pause for 2-5 minutes. If he answers after a few hours, comes in once a day because of work or business, there is no need to hang on the phone. Copy your interlocutor.

Important! A person who always responds to messages immediately appears to be a phone addict. One gets the impression that you have nothing else to do, and besides, the guy will immediately guess that you are “stuck.”

#10. Don't talk only about yourself all the time

A person who talks only about himself unwittingly demonstrates:

egocentrism;
lack of attention;
desire to gain recognition;
fear of being alone, unheard.

This causes boredom and rejection for the interlocutor. A guy who communicates with a girl for the first time does not feel the need to know her mental traumas, all her interests, hobbies. We can talk about this, but in moderation. Give your interlocutor a break, let him also talk about himself. Dialogue is like a game of tennis; the ball cannot be on one side of the field.

#eleven. Communicate regularly

Regular communications show interest on both sides. This way you won’t let them forget about you, you show that you can find time to communicate with a person. At the same time, observe the guy’s behavior; if during the whole day he has not found 1-2 minutes for a short answer, he is not interested in communication.

Be a little mysterious

Even with ordinary correspondence in a chat or social network, you can remain a little mysterious and intriguing:

Don't rush to respond to his messages right away. If he writes again and wonders why you didn’t answer, then the plan worked. The main thing is to figure out why you are so busy.
Don't tell him everything. Find the golden mean between sociability and politeness and a person whose “soul is wide open.”
If he doesn’t ask you about something, then don’t rush to tell you.
Sometimes mention something that really interests you, but don't go overboard with talking only about yourself.
Call him by name in correspondence.

How can you tell if a guy is interested in you?

Frequent messages. A guy who enjoys communicating with a girl will constantly look through messages, looking for reasons to accidentally write at least something.
Quick response. If a man tries not to delay the message, then his interest in you outweighs the importance of current affairs.
High quality correspondence. It's easy to send a monosyllabic response and conduct a dry dialogue. If a man is interested, he will talk in detail about his affairs, will not forget to ask about your plans, will take an interest in your mood, events and plans, and will even try to cheer you up.
Flirting. Emoticons, kind jokes, compliments indicate his interest in you as a girl. Likes and comments. This is also a signal of interest in you.

Important! To accurately determine sympathy, you need to meet in real life. Guys can be polite on social networks, but completely stingy with emotions in reality.

How to understand that a man is interested in you: the surest signs

Read

10 best places to meet a man.

Read

How to start a conversation with the guy you like in an original way.

Read

Let's look at the reasons why guys don't get to know you.

Read

When to write first

If you are interested in a man - on social networks or on a dating site - try to attract attention by rating his photos, leaving comments, adding to favorites, using all ways to express yourself.

Let’s say you have exhausted the entire arsenal of signs of attention available on the Internet, and the man does not react in any way - then cast aside your doubts and write. Firstly, the taboo of writing first has become very conventional. Secondly, there is only one life, and it is stupid to miss the chance. As they say, it’s better to do it and regret it than to regret not doing it. Thirdly, getting rejected online is not as scary as in real life.

Where to start a correspondence with a stranger

Where to start correspondence with a stranger in order to hook, get an answer and start a conversation. Naturally, no emoticons or banal “Hello.” How are you?" The most successful option would be to start a casual conversation on a topic that interests a man: ask about his hobbies, clarify the details of a recent trip, give a compliment if he watches his figure, eats, or is always stylishly dressed.

If a man has an original status, play him up - it would be good with humor. Your task is to hit the bull's-eye, but do not do it clumsily.

Examples of good questions:

“I see you are into rock music. Have you been to the festival that takes place every summer in the city of N? I’ve been dreaming of going there for a long time.” (Instead of “Cool! I like rock too. What do you like to listen to most?”).
“In almost all the photographs you are with the dog - I see that you are very attached to it. Why did you choose the mastiff - do you like the breed or did you look into the eyes and your heart skipped a beat?” (Instead of “What a cool dog! A dog is man’s best friend”).
“If a man has set the status “Looking for my goddess,” ask her special signs - perhaps you can tell me where to look for her.”

The message should be catchy and encourage a response. Show your feelings, emotions, empathize. Ask an open-ended question—one that cannot be answered with “yes” or “no.”

It is quite possible that the man did not answer you. At all. It is possible that he is busy, but it is better to erase him from your mind, because the light has not converged on him like a wedge.

What questions can and should be asked, and what not?

To understand as much as possible about a person, you can talk:

about studies, future goals for study;
about hobbies and interests;
About work;
views on future life, family, whether the guy even wants to start a serious relationship;
about family, parents, brothers and sisters, relationships within this family;
what kind of girls a man likes, what he looks for in his chosen one;
what type of vacation does a man prefer? If you like to travel and don’t sit in one place, then being a homebody won’t suit you.

However, it is better to avoid some topics, especially at the initial stage of acquaintance:

ex-partners, relationships;
sexual themes;
political and religious views;
man's income.

Keep the conversation going

Chatting with a guy is significantly different from chatting with girlfriends. To win over a man by correspondence, you need to know a few subtleties:

Talk to the point. Give your interlocutor an opportunity to speak.
Communicate with the guy easily, cheerfully, at ease. Avoid negative topics.
Do not impose your point of view on a man, be restrained and reasonable.
If you are not aware of a topic, do not rush to move the conversation in another direction. Ask the guy questions, try to find out more about it. He will be pleased.
Try to avoid long and boring stories with unnecessary details.
Do not talk about what is unpleasant to your interlocutor.

You might be interested in: how to communicate correctly on a dating site.

Men's opinions

It is important for me that the girl writes correctly and is interested in communication. I do not accept any kind of manipulation. I never drag out correspondence and I don’t recommend it to girls. It’s better to meet in reality right away, it will be clear whether the person is suitable or not. Spending months on messages and then being disappointed after the first meeting is a waste of time and effort.

Maxim, 25 years old

I love light and cheerful girls. Usually they will make a joke and lighten the mood. The purpose of correspondence is to find out a person’s initial mood, to evaluate his views on life, we still don’t owe each other anything. I don’t continue communicating with those who, from the very first lines, begin to load me with their problems, blame me for not being online, complain about their complexes, or start asking about my income.

Alexander, 32 years old

If I'm interested in communication, I'll always look for a reason to drop a line or two. I am pleased to receive answers, develop dialogue, and flirt. I don’t see anything wrong with a girl writing first, especially if I like her. Interest can be easily assessed by frequent replies, long messages, guys are the same people.

Matvey, 29 years old

How to keep your interlocutor's interest in a long-distance relationship?

A guy's interest in communicating by correspondence may decrease over time. To prevent this from happening, you need to listen to the recommendations of people who have already had experience in long-distance relationships, and everything turned out well.

What do these people advise:

Relax control. You cannot express suspicions of infidelity and pester a person with questions. Especially if the reason for jealousy is long responses to SMS.
Don't forget about romance. You can send poems, sing a song on Skype or a video call, send romantic messages for no reason.
Provide support. It is important to be able to listen and encourage a person in difficult situations.
Find other activities. You can’t turn relationships into a hobby and constantly sit with your phone in your hands, waiting for an answer. You need to be able to be distracted, otherwise communication will become intrusive and quickly get boring.
Talk about intimacy. It is important to stir up a guy’s interest by sending erotic SMS and candid photos. You don't need to do this too often. 2 times a week is enough.
Make joint plans. Plan future and next meetings together.

Long-term long-distance relationships need to be diluted with meetings, albeit rare ones, if it is not possible to see each other more often.

Question answer

How to get a guy to text more often?

Often girls take the position of an offended interlocutor. They begin to ask questions like: “Why didn’t you write?”, “Where did you go?” This behavior is very off-putting. Instead of a complaint, use positive emotions: “So glad to see you!”, “How are you doing, I miss you,” etc. Then the man will be happy to log into the messenger.

How to increase interest if correspondence has become boring?

Modern communications allow you to connect photos and videos to correspondence. It’s one thing to write “Good morning!”, another to attach a photo where you smile broadly, wishing a man a good day. Short positive videos and congratulations also evoke much more emotions than text.

The man doesn’t answer, doesn’t write first, what should I do?

There could be several reasons for this. The guy perceives you as a friend, is afraid of seeming intrusive, or is simply not interested in communication. The latter, unfortunately, is the most likely. A frank conversation will help bring clarity.

Give flirty compliments

A compliment is a good way to flirt.
Everyone likes to hear pleasant words addressed to them. The main thing is to give compliments sincerely, do not use memorized, template phrases. For example, instead of “you are beautiful,” write “you have a very expressive smile.” Attention! It has been proven that the right compliments from women encourage a man to treat a girl with even more care and tenderness. Compliment your guy directly and specifically. Do not use half-hints or flowery expressions.

Psychological techniques in correspondence

Make him feel emotions, show your interest . Guys are also attracted to girls who are not afraid to be funny and cheerful and show their true feelings.
Don’t be afraid to lift your man’s spirits by sending a simple message : “I’m very interested in you” or “Today I remembered you :).” He will be hooked and will end up thinking about you all day.
Don't let yourself be humiliated . If a man suddenly starts writing vulgarities and hints that he wants to meet for one night, playfully but confidently put him in his place. If a guy is interested, he will continue communication in a different format.
Leave room for your interlocutor to act. Write a little less, answer a little less often. Go offline sometimes. The agonizing wait will only brighten up the next communication.
Create a psychological swing. After you have disappeared from the network, be sure to surprise the man and give him positive emotions. Send him a compliment, a good morning wish, share a funny story. This way he will notice the contrast - it’s fun and good with you, but boring and lonely without you.

Advice from Mila Levchuk

Family relations expert Mila Levchuk knows exactly how to interest a man through correspondence and what you can write to a guy to make him like you.

Take Mila's advice:

Don't rush things. Relationships via online correspondence should be built without pressure from either side.
Test a man with his actions. If you want to build a serious relationship, ask a guy for help. When he commits an act, despite the distance between you, it is worth continuing communication and agreeing to a real meeting.
Assess the situation realistically. Do not fantasize, do not attribute positive and negative qualities to your interlocutor.
Communicate on the same wavelength and in the same style. Adapt to the interlocutor’s speaking style and his writing style.
Write less than the guy wrote. He sent 5 offers, you sent 3.
Take longer to respond. The guy answered the question in 30 minutes, you need to unsubscribe in an hour.
The last message in the correspondence must belong to a man. This creates the impression that he is the initiator of the beginning and end of the conversation.
Reply to empty SMS (hello, what are you doing) in 40-60 minutes. Create an impression of being very busy. Reply to important emails faster.
If the guy disappears and stops responding, don't be upset. Surely he didn’t like you enough in the first place. There is no need to impose.
Strive to quickly transform online communication into a real meeting. But don't ask a guy out on a date yourself. The initiative must come from him.

How to interest a male colleague?

Finding a common language with a male colleague is not so difficult; you already have something in common - work. You can send him a message asking for help, invite him for a cup of coffee, “accidentally” drop papers in front of him in the office.

Important! It is better to seduce a colleague after work. During a busy day at work there is no time for chatter, and the man will not take such a worker seriously.

To get a colleague's attention:

demonstrate your sense of humor or wit in a general conversation; positive and active girls always attract attention;
take an interest in the area in which your colleague is knowledgeable, ask him a question on social networks;
don’t forget to look stylish at work, but you still shouldn’t dress up in vulgar clothes with a huge neckline;
do not talk about your sympathy in the team, especially in correspondence with other colleagues, this can compromise both you and him;
find out about his hobbies, invite him to an exhibition, a match;
prepare delicious snacks or sweets and treat your colleagues, including him, quite possibly in the evening he will thank you in a message;
don’t miss corporate events and business trips, especially if your chosen one will be there.

What attracts men to women?

Take your time - plans and events fade into the background6

In principle, this is not a woman’s business. A man must pay attention and then decide for himself whether he wants to see this girl next to him on the first date or not. Since male nature is too primitive, you need to follow a long-established plan. No offense, but boys often expect bold beauties to take full rein, which is fundamentally wrong.

There is an interesting point in the animal world: when an ostrich attracts the attention of females, it must show itself. If the female likes him, she chooses him to be the father of the family. The same thing happens in the human world, only the first step taken by a girl is already a sign at the subconscious level. And there is no point in arguing.

Psychologists say that 56% of men are in favor of dating on the Internet, since you can immediately discard those with whom you have mutual acquaintances. Perhaps this is a defensive reaction: not to know anything about it from friends or not to share it with friends later. The truth of life is in full swing, and you should not avoid such situations. Other men are wary of displays of care through monitor screens, so they rarely go out with those whom the innovative tycoon has brought under their wing.

Conclusions on the article

Despite the stereotypes, you have every right to show interest and write first. However, if a man does not initiate a response, you will have to draw conclusions.
You need to communicate politely, competently, and not resort to offensive jokes or swear words. First, become a friend to your interlocutor.
Don't impose. Write in a similar manner as he does, respond with similar frequency, don’t bombard him with a ton of messages and don’t burden him with problems.
Don't be afraid to lift your man's spirits. Even with an acquaintance, it is quite appropriate to joke, give a compliment, and say that you remembered him. In any case, it will be pleasant and make me think about you.

Be yourself

During correspondence, there is a great temptation to appear different from who you really are. For example, avoid open conversations about sex at first. Don't try to seem stupider or, conversely, better than you really are.

Your interlocutor may get the wrong impression about you. This will lead to further misunderstandings and a breakdown in communication.

You might be interested: 5 steps to get a pen pal to like you.

Look for common ground

Analyze not only the guy’s page, but also the pages of groups and communities to which he is subscribed. Perhaps you are both crazy about the same music group, movie, TV series or sport. In this case, everything is much simpler than it might seem: join the same community and actively participate in the same discussions that are interesting to the young person. Soon a pleasant conversation or a heated argument may begin between you (which is also not bad), which can easily be continued in personal correspondence.

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Show him he's on your mind

The guy shouldn't think that you are absolutely indifferent to him. How can you show that he is in your thoughts without being too intrusive?

Sincerely admire your interlocutor.
Be as honest as possible with the guy. Honesty is a sign of trust.
Provide him with all possible assistance in achieving his goals.
Don't make him feel unwanted, humiliated, forgotten.
Don't force a guy to spend all his free time texting you.
Ask him for advice in a difficult situation.
Be gentle in your interactions with him.

Do you want to interest a guy?

Examples of successful phrases

You can flirt with a guy by correspondence using the following phrases:

Feminine:

“I'm not very good at dancing. It seems to me that you will be able to correct this situation.”

“I look at you and understand that real men still exist.”

“I’m very lucky to have met such an interesting guy here.”

"I'd like to know a little more about you."

Boldly:

“You are under criminal charges for stealing my heart!”

“Have a conscience, leave my thoughts at least for a while and let me work a little.”

“Hi, I decided to give you... that wonderful book to read.”

“It’s already very late, I really want intimacy... with my pillow.”

Playfully:

“Today I dressed very modestly, but for some reason everyone around me is looking at me.”

“The subscriber is tired of working and wants something sweet to grab.”

“The doctor advised me to take vitamins for a good mood. But I have my own recipe."

“It’s high time you were banned, you’re addictive.”

Extraordinary:

“Today I went fishing and caught perch and crucian carp. But only then I realized that the fish of my dreams is you!”

“I don’t know how to tell you this... I took a test and it showed that we are perfect for each other.”

“Don’t be surprised if Santa Claus kidnaps you on New Year’s Eve and takes you to me. Wishes must come true!”

“As it turns out, I know how to look for treasures. I found you and I won’t share you with anyone!”

Tease

If you want to drive your interlocutor crazy, then you can try the following:

Abruptly disappear from correspondence for several hours or half a day. Most likely, he will bombard himself with messages asking where you went.
Send him messages unexpectedly.
Don't forget to compliment him.
Remember that flirting should be fun for both of you.
Don't make fun of his shortcomings and weak points.
Don't tease him all the time, don't use the same techniques.
Only flirt with him on special occasions.
Let him know that men are interested in you, that you don’t sit at home and get bored 24/7.