- August 29, 2018
- Psychology of Personality
- Valentina Buravleva
It’s one thing to simply want something, and completely different to realize what you want in reality. Some people manage to fulfill their dreams in a relatively short period of time. Others may want something for a very long time, but never achieve it. You can achieve the desired goal using special methods. These recommendations allow you not only to bring your dreams closer to fulfillment, but also to resist any obstacles on the difficult path to your goal.
Correct wording
How to achieve what you want and make your dream come true? The most important step towards realizing your intention is its correct formulation. Many people skip this step. But in reality, their chances of success will be much higher if they choose exactly the goal that they truly want to achieve.
A great desire forces you to concentrate all your energy on the goal, helps you achieve the desired result, despite obstacles and failures. It is not so important how often a person goes astray. Even if this happens, he reminds himself of his true dream. The words “I wish to achieve my goals” become a real mantra for him, which again returns him to the right path.
How can you clarify your goal? You can do this using the following exercise:
- Write down all your goals that you would like to achieve in the next ten years.
- Opposite each of them, put the amount of time that you plan to spend on achieving them (for example, 2 months, a year, 5 years).
- Highlight five main goals with a marker.
- Write down all the actions that need to be taken to achieve them.
- Choose the most important goal and start working on it.
How to choose a specialist to work on your intention
Psychology is sometimes called “pair psychotechnics”. Michel Foucault, appealing to the experience of ancient Greek philosophy and describing the so-called self-practices, noted that the goal of the mentor was to teach a person to take care of himself until he learns to do it himself. The helping specialist also performs similar work.
To be fair, it must be said that we do not always turn to the helping specialist directly for changes. At the same time, self-knowledge, inner honesty and awareness of true desires will inevitably lead to change, although this process often takes a long time.
However, it happens that even the most powerful insights obtained during sessions only have a minor impact on the client’s future life. The transformation caused by such an insight, although experienced quite emotionally, may not take hold and may not greatly influence the future.
When turning to a helping specialist to solve a specific issue, it is important to understand the difference between psychological counseling and psychotherapy. The first is aimed at solving narrow problems, the second is aimed at developing self-understanding.
Ask the helping specialist what exactly he understands by intention. It may be that, being an expert in his field, he may underestimate the role of intention in practice or have a vague understanding of it. And if when working with traumatic experiences this is often not a problem (here we are talking about healing mental wounds), then in the context of achieving the desired changes it can become a significant obstacle.
Checklist “Formation of intention”
- Desire is aimed at satisfying a need. In this case, the need can be repressed and suppressed. Regardless of whether desire is manifested or not, it largely shapes behavior.
- Intention is a function of the will. Intention presupposes a plan and often forces a person to act even contrary to his desires.
- Desire often has a pronounced emotional connotation and evokes strong feelings.
- The ability to manage intention and strengthen it largely depends on the person himself , while desires are born spontaneously and uncontrollably.
- A desire, under certain conditions, can develop into an intention . Intention, unlike desire, is controllable, and therefore can only be transformed into another intention.
Remember the saying “Beware of your wishes, they tend to come true”? I think it's not so much about desires as it is about properly focused intentions.
The formation of intention in its pure form can be classified as an art. Perhaps this is what the Chinese sages meant when they spoke of the “mastery of controlled coincidences.” The ability to enter a state of complete internal consistency, when intention covers all aspects of our being, is self-realization.
Set priorities correctly
Since achieving what you want means first of all concentrating your efforts on a specific goal, correct prioritization is extremely important. When all things are equally important to a person, it means that none of them is really important. The goal you set should be your top priority.
Every day you need to take steps to achieve it. At the same time, it is recommended to do the most important thing in the morning, when there is still a lot of strength and energy. If you put off your duties until the evening, there is a high risk that they will not be completed.
If you start the morning with actions to approach your goal, then the day will not be lived in vain. For example, you can wake up half an hour earlier. While the whole family is sleeping, devote this time to working on a goal - doing physical exercise, reading professional literature, preparing for entering a university.
Be disciplined
You can't just do something serious right the first time. No one tries to play the Moonlight Sonata in their first music lesson, knowing that it might take months or years of practice. Only constant self-discipline will help you overcome difficulties, and not self-pity.
Be disciplined Photo:Cultivate creative emotions within yourself
Often a person correctly defines a goal and carefully plans all actions to achieve it. But still he fails to succeed. “How to achieve what you want?” - he asks himself, although the problem actually lies on the surface. It lies in the fact that he lacks an internal fuse. His feelings towards his goal are weak or non-existent. If you have a big goal, one of the most important actions is to clearly imagine the emotions that will overwhelm you at the end of the journey, when the dream becomes a reality. It is not enough to say to yourself: “I want to achieve my goal.” It is necessary to imagine in detail the emotions that will overwhelm you at the moment when you receive your education diploma, your business becomes successful, or your child is born.
How to write a wish correctly and why is it needed?
Many experts agree that requests set out on paper acquire additional power - as if some kind of magic is activated. And from a logical point of view, by formulating your desire in writing, you create a more stable attitude for yourself and begin to have a clearer idea of what you really want. After all, this is precisely what many people have problems with.
Elizabeth advises keeping entire Books of Desires in beautiful notebooks. And not just write down intentions there, but also actively work with them - re-read and even rewrite them daily. This greatly increases your concentration on your dreams.
However, Lisa emphasizes: it is not so important where to write the wish. A notepad, a piece of paper that can be hidden or placed in a visible place will do, even writing in a computer file or notes on your phone will work. The main thing is your inner attitude and unconditional faith.
Method "Table of Emotions"
To cultivate the necessary feelings towards your goal, it is useful to use the following technique called the “Emotion Chart”. To do this, a piece of paper is divided into three columns. The first records those experiences that will cover at the moment of achieving the goal. In the next column you need to record memories of the last time you experienced these feelings. Here you can indicate under what circumstances this happened.
In the third column it is written when those actions will be performed that will allow you to gain these feelings. In most cases, these results, whatever they may be, can be combined into one category - rest. A person in pursuit of his goals does not give himself a break. But no matter how paradoxical it may be, such an approach only pushes goals away, since it makes feelings more and more dull.
To achieve your goals, you need to build time for rest into your daily schedule. Psychologists recommend adding at least three activities every day that restore strength.
Work systematically
The simplest, but at the same time effective answer to the question of how to achieve the desired success is this: it is necessary to systematically make efforts that bring you closer to the goal. Usually a person looks at his everyday life as if from the outside only in unusual circumstances - on New Year's holidays or, for example, alone in nature. At such moments a person asks himself questions. These same questions should be used in normal times.
They allow you to understand how effectively the goal is being achieved at this stage. You can write these questions down in a notebook and start each morning by answering them honestly:
- Does my daily routine meet my expectations? Am I really living the way I want?
- Can I achieve more balance?
- Am I working to the best of my ability or am I constantly giving myself some slack?
- What tasks did I solve today to realize my dream?
3.Turn on your head
Many of the challenges we face involve physical exertion and physical overcoming—losing weight, running a marathon, getting ready for beach season. But it is the brain, not our body, that is the key to achieving success.
Rarely are our physical abilities an obstacle; more often, we are hampered by a loss of faith, willpower and interest, which leads to failure. Believing that you can achieve your goal is the most important thing.
With faith comes passion and the desire to invest time, effort, and resources to continue achieving short-term goals. And their achievement increases motivation, which, in turn, strengthens faith in the achievement of the main goal.
Break a big goal into subtasks
Psychologists have found that the pursuit of big goals often causes depression and a feeling of depression. A person feels that he is unable to complete a task that is too large. Ultimately, he may completely abandon his goal.
To prevent this from happening, you need to break a big goal into small, accessible steps. For example, when preparing for an exam, you can set yourself the task not of “passing all the tickets”, but of “doing five tickets in a day.”
Everyone will have their own answer to the difficult question of how to achieve what they want. The methods listed are general tools that are useful in working towards your goal. It is important for a person to pay attention to which recommendations are effective for him. This will make the process of achieving the goal individual and increase personal effectiveness.
Don't worry if you don't know something
Sometimes it’s so embarrassing to admit that we are not successful or smart enough, so we want to show that we know more than in fact. And instead of saying “I don’t know” and immediately starting to study the issue, we pretend that “everything is already clear”... And it’s even worse to say that we don’t know what the future will be like.
But you don't have to know everything. And you don’t have to be afraid of this ignorance either. The area of ignorance is the most exciting, because it is the space for exploration. Look there boldly and live the way you want.
