Why is a man emotionally cold? Alexithymia - characteristics of the condition

In the relationship between a man and a woman, various problematic situations can be observed. In particular, sometimes there are couples in which women cannot understand why the man is emotionally cold to all her manifestations of care and affection. Next, we will delve into the very origins of this problem in detail.

Most often, men show emotional indifference to women. Because ladies can show their feelings more clearly and they are less rational in relationships. Although the male part of the population is prone to emotional breakdowns in some situations just like women. The only thing is that there are exceptions when it is simply impossible to reach a person, he reacts completely calmly to any manifestations, and it seems that nothing can confuse him. Let's look at why a man is emotionally cold in a relationship below.

Why is a man emotionally cold?

If your chosen one is not ready to let you go, but also does not try to get too close to you, then the reasons for this condition may be different. Often a woman wants to end such a relationship as quickly as possible and have nothing in common with such a man. But invisible threads hold you back, despite the doubts gnawing inside. Why is a man emotionally cold, why does he hold back, avoid all discussions about the future, about love?

A man without emotions

The following reasons can be sources of emotional coldness:

1. He likes to play , you are an interesting person for him, but he doesn’t want to seriously build anything with you. In this case, he will come up with many reasons just to disappear from your life for a while, and then out of boredom he will appear again.
2. He has a difficult relationship with a girl . That’s why he doesn’t want to become emotionally attached to you. He is not ready to experience new disappointment again and does not want to lose a new partner.
3. He has perfectionistic tendencies . The constant desire to search for the ideal woman will bring all relationships to naught. A man will always point out a lady's shortcomings. Therefore, he definitely will not become emotionally attached to a woman.
4. Workaholics their career and material values ​​first. Even when they are next to their beloved, they think about finances and work. Therefore, the girl does not have to count on any emotions. We'll have to be content with little.
5. For many men, financial stability . Therefore, when a woman cannot distribute funds and complains about a lack of money, he begins to close down and emotional closeness manifests itself.
6. A man thinks he is no match for you . The reason for this attitude may be your external beauty or higher financial status. That’s why he doesn’t risk getting emotionally close to you. He is afraid that you are ready to break off the relationship at any moment.
7. Psychological problems . The young man simply cannot express his emotions. This is a condition called alexithymia. A man is not able to determine his emotional states, and therefore cannot express them.
8. Problems on the personal front . Men have parents or close relatives who are sick or have financial difficulties. Therefore, there is simply no strength left for emotions until personal problems are resolved.
9. If you have completely different goals in life . When your desires go against his, he will ignore you and continue such relationships as long as they are beneficial to him.

So, the reasons for emotional coldness are different. And now, based on the characteristics given above, you can determine why a man is emotionally cold. And then we will dwell in more detail on psychological problems. After all, people suffering from alexithymia simply live without emotions, they do not manipulate other individuals, they can love, but do not express their feelings due to their inability.

Choice of profession

The Nordic character type predominates in people with high organizational abilities. They are always confident in their words, do not doubt that they are right, so everyone follows them.

Note! Among Nordic people there are many bosses, managers, and entrepreneurs. They do not shift responsibility to those around them, but independently look for options to achieve the goal. This quality commands respect; their subordinates value them and strive to be like them.

People with a Nordic character are assiduous and calm. They are focused on dealing with difficulties and can quickly find a solution by analyzing the available facts. Therefore, they feel comfortable in the position:

• rescuer;
• pilot;
• policeman;
• fireman

Quieter professions are also suitable, for example, driver, dispatcher.

Women will find themselves in the following specialties:

• doctor;
• nurse;
• investigator;
• head of preschool institutions;
• head teacher.

Nordic people are punctual and efficient. It is almost impossible to put them in a stupid situation; they are extremely calculating and enterprising. In fact, they can be realized in any area where excessive emotionality is not required. They are also far from acting professions, where they need to play and pretend.

Signs of alexithymia, characteristics of the condition

The majority can perfectly express their emotional state, give an account of what motivates them when committing this or that act. But some people have a hard time understanding what emotion is. Why a man is emotionally cold was explained back in 1973 by the famous psychoanalyst Peter Sifneos. He noticed that patients with alexithymia are unable to express feelings either through words or emotions.

Signs of alexithymia

Alexithymia is manifested by the following symptoms:

• The difficulty of determining any emotional states of one’s own feelings or the feelings of other people.
• There is no sensitivity in bodily sensations; men do not experience any special emotions when touched, etc.
• Alexithymetics find it difficult to fantasize.
• It is easier for patients to focus on some external problems than to experience worries.
• Men are prone to logical thinking, love concrete actions, are ready to make decisions immediately, and do not try to delve into their deepest desires.

IMPORTANT: Researchers have noticed that men are stingy with emotions, do not see vivid dreams, and if they do, they are too rational and not full of action.

What is Nordic character

Nordic character is a personality trait that consists of restraint and external calm. The definition allows us to highlight the following qualities and behavioral characteristics:

• It is impossible to make a person angry, to notice emotions of sadness or joy on his face;
• He is always calm, has strong views, which cannot be forced to give up;
• He is confident that he is right and relies solely on his own opinion. Additional information is needed only to improve your knowledge and get to the root of the problem. He wants to know everything and is not going to stop at obstacles along the way;
• There are no limits to his self-control. Not a single muscle moves on the face in moments of triumph or sorrow. Only the eyes reveal emotions.

Note! A person with a Nordic character inspires confidence in others. His calmness, poise and steadfastness allow him to become a leader.

Emotionally cold man - psychology

There is a type of men who do not confess their love, do not give girls beautiful gifts and especially flowers, not because they do not love their chosen ones. But because they are not able to express their emotions. Why is a man emotionally cold? And the most noteworthy compliment that comes from his lips: “Oh! You look fine today."

Before starting a new relationship, girls should understand the man well. After all, there are simply reserved people, and there are banal egoists who simply do not need your feelings. Guys who are stingy with emotions still show their feelings not through emotions, but through deeds. These are reliable men, they say little, but do a lot for family well-being. But egoists do not support love by word or deed.

Alexithymia is a tendency to not express one’s feelings, the ability to think logically. Between 5 and 24 percent of the world's population suffer from this disorder. A person can have the disease from birth, or it can also be acquired. Congenital alexithymia is difficult to treat; most often the cause is a disruption in the structure of the connection between the hemispheres of the brain. Treating such conditions is not easy, and sometimes impossible.

Emotionally cold man

And the acquired syndrome can manifest itself in older people, even physically healthy ones. Alexithymia appears after psychological trauma, stressful conditions, or as a result of shocks. The education of the individual is also of great importance. When parents are low-emotional or, on the contrary, hyper-emotional, their children become unable to distinguish between feelings.

In the male part of the population, alexithymic signs appear much more often than in the female part. About four times more . As psychologists say, this is due to the fact that in society it is customary to raise boys to be more courageous; they say that a man should not cry.

Where did this temperament come from?

Character from a person’s handwriting - is it possible to determine its types?

Experts in the field of psychology have concluded that people with a Nordic character are associated with the Nordic race. It is common in Scandinavian countries:

• Denmark;
• Norway;
• Sweden.

Sometimes they include Iceland and Finland, which equates Scandinavia with the concept of Northern Europe.

The term “Nordic race” or “Northern race” appeared at the beginning of the 20th century. This group included tall and thin people with blond hair. They were distinguished by pale skin and delicate features. This description of the northern race was given by anthropologist Joseph Deniker, who was born in France, but is also engaged in scientific activities in Russia.

Scandinavian appearance

There was even a pseudoscientific theory of Nordism, based on the superiority of the northern race over the others. It was believed that civilization owes its development to representatives of this group of people. It was not confirmed, but served as a prerequisite for the development of racism.

An emotionally cold man, how to live with him?

Women are often more emotional than men. It’s hard to argue with this assumption. Without an emotional component, it is impossible to convey real feelings. Why is a man emotionally cold and does not give a woman any emotions? It is because of this that she thinks that he is completely indifferent to her. The reasons have already been established above. What can a girl do if she had to fall in love with just such a guy?

Alexithymia - signs of a psycho-emotional state

The wisdom of previous generations showed that even in this case partners can find a common language. You should strive for happiness. You can’t do without patience, the ability to understand your loved one, to accept him as he is. The main thing is to understand that it will be somewhat impossible to change it.

And if you have already decided to continue such a relationship and have children, then be prepared that you will have to give your emotions and love to your children literally for two. Otherwise, this emotional restraint may be passed on to your child.

You should also give 90 percent of yourself and as a couple. Because there will be no emotional manifestations from the husband. This is serious, not every woman can withstand this, be prepared for a serious problem. After all, emotional burnout can threaten you too. The only hope is to give away the children when they grow up and the confidence in the love of the husband, who will show it by caring for the family and not by feelings.

Not everything is given

Just take your time. First, think carefully about whether this is how you want to rid yourself of emotions. They are often more difficult to restore than to eliminate. By the way, not everyone is given the gift of being insensitive. Remember: few people experience a true absence of emotions. Usually cruelty and composure are in a person’s blood. If there is a predisposition to these traits, then solving our today’s issue will be easy and simple. Otherwise, you will literally step on your own throat and your internal structure.

Often sympathetic, kind people think about how to become an insensitive person. And not vindictive. They will have to work very seriously on themselves. As practice shows, such people are not able to really bring the idea to life.

An emotionally cold man, how to find an approach?

You should find your own approach to any person - be it a woman or a man. But there are difficult cases, and despite this there is a soul mate for any individual. A truly loving person is always ready to go to the end to find common ground with his other half and make their relationship happy. When a man is emotionally cold due to a psychological component, then you can find an approach to such a person.

This will require patience and effort:

• You should love a man for who he is . The advice sounds too simple, but for emotionally cold men it is important to know that there is an understanding girl next to him. He needs a trusting relationship; constant quarrels and scandals will not lead to anything good. Thanks to them, the partner will only become a victim of emotional burnout and nothing more. Men with a syndrome such as alexithymia are not able to understand emotions, he will be calm as always. And the relationship may collapse not through his fault, but through the fault of his partner. Therefore, it is better for a girl to immediately prepare herself for the fact that quarrels in their relationship are completely useless efforts. Relationships can only be improved through understanding.
• Watch for positive manifestations of his attitude towards himself and in his behavior. Over time, you will understand how he shows his concern for you, what actions he takes for this. Perhaps he will hug you more often, react more softly to your caresses. Repeat that you really like it. This will make him more sensitive.
• Realize that there is still a man with you. And even ordinary men are not capable of strong emotions, and here the person also has a psychological disorder in addition. It is more valuable not to have promises that he will give you a star from the sky, but to have confidence in a strong family. This is exactly what your man will strive for. To have somewhere to spend your emotions, it might be better to get a pet, or start doing yoga, or growing indoor plants.

How to deal with an emotionally cold person?
And finally, if the problem is too acute in your family, then try going to a good psychologist. Thanks to his experience, your relationship will change for the better. And you will look at each other differently. Find understanding and peace in your family.

Also on our portal you can read articles on the topic of relationships between men and women here:

1. Why is a man greedy?
2. Women's grievances against their father and, in general, against men;
3. Who suffers separations more painfully?
4. Stages of a relationship between a guy and a girl, how to strengthen the relationship?
5. How to be offended by a man correctly in order to benefit from the conflict?

Communication with a Nordic person

Communication with people of a Nordic character does not cause negative emotions. They are reserved, respect their interlocutor, and never get personal. Nordic people speak calmly and measuredly, have a pleasant timbre of their voice, do not resort to shouting, and control their emotions. They will always listen carefully and give a straight answer.

It is better not to bother a person over trifles. He does not like it when his personal space is limited and he avoids communicating with unfamiliar people. It is important for him to be prepared for a conversation; he does not like spontaneous moments. Therefore, it is better to arrange a meeting in advance so as not to destroy the created order. It is important that it is maintained in everything, this also applies to those around you.

Scheduled business meeting

People with a Nordic character have unique abilities inherent in them genetically. They are able to lead the crowd and find a way out of a situation of any complexity. At the same time, they will never doubt or deviate from their intended goal. It is not always easy for them to show feelings hidden deep inside, but true emotions are easily read in their eyes. Nordic people always look straight and do not try to lie.

Return to suffering

The first rule that can help is to return to your suffering. Every person has some memories that bring pain or great resentment. These are the ones you will have to turn to in your subconscious every time you are overcome with positive emotions.

It usually becomes very painful to experience negative moments at first. But at one point this feeling disappears. And you stop caring. Once you achieve this, it will be easier to solve the problem.

Try to remember all the negative events at once, en masse. Only then can you fully answer how to become insensitive. Yes, it may seem impossible, but with continued practice, you will notice clear changes in your behavior.