Feelings of falling in love are exactly what makes a person truly happy. This is a view of the world through rose-colored glasses, as well as a desire to do good to everyone and everything. In addition, there is an inexplicable craving for beauty when you want to sing, dance and write poetry. However, many people forget what romance is. The concepts of romance and falling in love are often considered identical, and this is somewhat correct. A person in love often becomes romantic and touching. However, a romantic person may not necessarily be in love.
How to determine what is truly romantic and what is just a synonym? If there are characteristic signs that distinguish a romantic person from all others? And how do women and men define romance? If you want to know the answers to all these questions, then this article is for you.
Dictionaries
First, let's plunge into the book world. How does the explanatory dictionary explain the word “romantic”? For example, Efremova’s dictionary says that a romantic is an adherent of the movement - romanticism. Vasmer's dictionary translates from French: a romantic is a person who idealizes the world and the people around him.
A large Russian explanatory dictionary was published under the editorship of Kuznetsov. The word “romantic” has several meanings. The first is a representative of romanticism, a movement popular among poets and writers of past centuries. The second is a person for whom the whole world is ideal, all people are beautiful. Thirdly, a romantic here is a person of a romantic mood who is very emotional about something. People of various professions fall into this category: sailors, geologists, musicians, travelers, etc.
Absentee good attitude towards strangers
Often romantics simply love people. They are valuable for their uniqueness: behind each lies a secret and an interesting story. From the very beginning, romantics treat people kindly and count on the same attitude, which is why they get burned.
The trouble is in the image created only in their imagination. Romantics tend to attach labels at first sight - this is a kind of emotional investment in a stranger. They create a certain connection with this, typify it for themselves and select the optimal, in their opinion, model of communication and behavior. And their ideas are shattered when the stranger turns out to be completely different. They almost consider him guilty.
Main symptoms
As historians say, romantic people have lived since ancient times. Romantic - who is it? In their opinion, this is a person who does not notice some of life’s inconveniences and does not participate in the turbulent vicissitudes of the world. The main symptoms of romanticism are considered to be faith in the best and excessive daydreaming.
But if there weren’t such romantic dreamers in the world, then where would the most wonderful works of world art come from: paintings, poetic lines that touch you to tears, Green’s “Scarlet Sails”? Many works, especially poems and poems, answer the question: “Who is this romantic?” - they will definitely answer that this is a person who believes in love, no matter what. It is romance and love that go hand in hand, as philosophers, poets and composers have long believed. It was these two concepts that “collapsed” the years and made people happy.
A different view
First of all, it’s worth understanding what the usual dictionary definition of romance is. Most of them say that these are feelings that elevate a person. And this is true, because any romantic person sees something beautiful in the reality around him. Beautiful sunsets that take your thoughts into unknown distances, the waves of the sea, beautiful in their anger, where a storm has broken out, or a quiet forest clearing, where you can so pleasantly retire to the chirping of birds and the chirping of insects. All these are varying degrees of visualization of romance, which can manifest itself in anything.
Romance itself can even be a way of life. This means that a person simply stops seeing negativity and is filled with feelings for the world. He tries to simply go with the flow, without resisting this force. The hallmark of romance is passivity. Romantic people may not resist problems for years, taking everything for granted. This is especially evident in love relationships, where the “hero” can be immensely in love, but when a rival arises, he retreats, because he is confident of his own defeat. But this does not mean that all romantic people are losers who cannot defend their point of view.
In the modern world, romance is gradually receding into the background, giving way to practicality. It is no longer fashionable to stand under the windows to catch a glimpse of the silhouette of your beloved or to write entire poems dedicated to love. It has become less popular to court ladies while adhering to all the rules.
It's hard to talk about romance in a world where sex on the first date is the norm and even a positive thing. Now people are more often trying to achieve the beauty of the body, pursuing their hedonistic inclinations in obtaining physical pleasure. Romance is about sensuality and sensitivity. Such lovers will not calculate and analyze, but will simply trust their heart.
From a psychological point of view
If you ask a similar question to psychologists, they also have a developed concept of the word “romantic.” Who is this? This is a person who “lives within himself” most of the time. He strives to understand himself, to evaluate his feelings and attitude towards the world around him. Romantics strive to unravel the mysteries of the universe, human behavior and build their own fantastic, beautiful world.
Moreover, every romantic dreamer strives to share his vision of the world with others. They do not close themselves off, fantasizing about the ideal. They are looking for this ideal, having found it, they prove to him how good the world around him is.
If you thought that most romantics are closed in on themselves and their fantasy ideal world, then you are mistaken. Many psychologists will definitely say that he is an ardent rebel who always adheres to his worldview and does not want to deviate from his own vision of life under any circumstances.
Romantics are literally irritated by the same type of thinking; they cannot understand how they can wear the same clothes to work every day or, when they come home from work, lie down on the sofa in front of the TV. After all, there are a lot of beautiful things in the world that are still unknown to each individual person.
A romantic nature is always ready to shoulder all the responsibilities, say, preparing an evening with a loved one or a trip out of town. Moreover, such a person will do this by thinking outside the box, looking for new entertainment, new activities and interesting places. Such a nature will do everything so that the people around them plunge into the ideal world at least for a moment and understand that it can be created in reality.
Types of romance2
Everyone's view of romance is completely different. It cannot be said that all men like one thing and all women another. Sometimes people of different sexes have the same ideas, and then they enjoy spending time together. However, it is possible to highlight individual opinions of both sexes, which allow us to judge how different the view on romance can be.
The first group is women's opinion. Since the weaker sex is more sensitive and vulnerable, most often their romantic dreams are most similar to the generally accepted idea of romance. Below are the main associations that the concept itself evokes in all girls.
- Courtship. Romance for ladies is primarily about relationships. At the same time, she should be a beautiful princess, and he should be a brave knight. Otherwise, all this becomes completely unacceptable. He should give her delicate wildflowers, surprise her with unexpected and pleasant gifts, solve her problems and protect her from adversity. Behind his back, she should feel comfortable and protected, because these are the feelings a real man should evoke. This performance is entirely based on children's fairy tales, where the hero overcomes all obstacles and saves the beauty from the clutches of the dragon. Everything is the same as now, only instead of a dragon there are life problems.
- Care. There is such a practical type of girls who can live without serenades under the window and huge bouquets on the pillow. They consider it romantic if their chosen one simply shows care, protects her from adversity and tries to think about her comfort. This can manifest itself in shifting some of the household responsibilities onto men's shoulders, sacrificing his time to travel with her to buy new shoes, support during illness, as well as full financial support. This type of romance can be fully called modern, because it is no longer based on feelings, but on comfort.
- Beautiful moments. There are also women for whom romance is not at all connected with relationships. They find romantic simple gatherings by the fire, climbing mountains, swimming in a river, a quiet cozy evening with a glass of red wine. The little joys of life that give inspiration and allow you to survive all the difficulties. Such women know what romance is and look at the world with different eyes. They can also be romantic when they are in love, but it is not a condition for moving into a romantic state.
- Extreme. Oddly enough, not some people find the desperate acts that people can do at the peak of emotions romantic. For example, skydiving or conquering a mountain peak. All this causes a surge of adrenaline in the blood and unforgettable sensations, so some compare it to a “sip of happiness.” There are also simpler, but at the same time decisive actions - abandoning family, running away from home for the sake of a loved one, “wandering life” with one’s love. Some people actually think this is romantic. However, as practice shows, unprepared ladies very quickly return to reality when faced with the first difficulties of such romance.
Next, let's look at what opinion the representatives of the stronger sex hold regarding romance. It is worth noting that some points actually resonate with women’s points, so we can say that basically the view of romance is not tied to a specific gender.
- Frankness. Oddly enough, guys often consider manifestations of frankness very romantic. And we are not talking about sexuality or too frank behavior. In this case, frankness is the ability to open up to a person, to show one’s weaknesses and shortcomings. When a girl is not afraid to appear without makeup and sleepy, when she is able to openly talk about her desires and feelings. For the most part, this type is also based on relationships, because most men reduced their words to them. And there is a reason for this - if there is nothing to hide, then a person can be honest, and this, in turn, looks incredibly attractive and can inspire.
- Calm. Those guys who don't like constant change find solace in complete peace. A quiet weekend at home watching a TV series and a can of beer, simple and soulful get-togethers with friends, going to the grocery store when you have the means and don’t have to save money. Simple everyday joys can also seem romantic, because the stronger sex more often abstracts from social interactions. A guy may not know what romance is in the classical sense, but at the same time be quite sensitive. This kind of seclusion is an alternative to those who are used to openly demonstrating their feelings.
- Love. This item is the true embodiment of romance itself. Guys in love often feel differently and begin to feel better about things that previously caused irritation. For example, a guy may not like pets, but if his significant other loves cats and dogs, he is ready to set up a real shelter at home. A state of altered consciousness is how this romance can be characterized. Moreover, the more falling in love changes a man, the more romantic he becomes. Often such males admit that they are ready to cry because of a sad moment in the film, although nothing moved them before.
Temporary
All romantics can perhaps be divided into two large groups. The first includes temporary romantics who idealize either a specific person or some situation (their work, family, etc.). If, after building certain impeccable images and colliding with reality, their ideal world collapses, then they return to ordinary life, devoid of the former romance.
Consumer attitude of friends
We hope that you have never encountered this yourself. For not the most noble, romantics are ideal friends. They care about the friendship and try to support it in every possible way: from communication to pouring money into the friendship. They will willingly pay for a friend in a restaurant or cafe, bring food and drinks to a party, go to the other end of the city in the middle of the night to pick up a drunk friend, or lend money irrevocably.
This is what scoundrels take advantage of - they exploit emotional dependence. From the outside, such relationships cannot be called friendly - they are parasitic. But for a romantic, the code of brotherhood is no joke. He firmly believes in honor and conscience and greedily catches every manifestation of humanity in his relationship with his friend. This is not a phenomenon at all: women can also use it, but in turn at least they give a beautiful dream. And they will fall off the feeder much faster - a fake friend can sit on your neck for years.
Romantic man
Most often the word “romantic” is associated with men. The romantic girl, with a ribbon in her hair and languid eyes, remained somewhere at the turn of the century. She was replaced by modern business ladies who simply have no time to be imbued with a sense of beauty and build pink castles. But despite the emancipation of modern ladies, almost all of them want a romantic man next to them. Paradox? No, this is a fact confirmed by tests and surveys.
Romantic man - who is he? How to find him among the millions of business suits rushing to their offices every day? What qualities are contained in a man whom women boldly call romantic?
Firstly, it is intelligence and good education. An uneducated ignoramus cannot turn an ordinary walk in the park into an exciting journey. A person without developed intelligence will not be able to describe the bright colors of his imagined ideal world.
Secondly, conquering a stubborn female heart is simply impossible without the manifestation of imagination. Write a fiery message for your loved one on the asphalt with chalk or go down from the roof along a rope ladder to hand a bouquet of daisies out the window. All these romantic manifestations require a rich imagination that allows you to surprise and shock.
Thirdly, a romantic man always has positive emotions with which he feeds his beloved in negative moments. This is a huge dose of positivity and joy that a man shares with his soulmate.
Many women think that a romantic man is a temporary phenomenon that quickly gets boring. In fact, flowers and romantic declarations of love never get boring. But a wise, educated, gentle, emotionally positive, with strong convictions in life, a man’s shoulder has never harmed anyone.
Illusions about relationships and girlfriends
A whole layer of classical medieval literature and works of the Romantic era (part of the Silver Age too) is devoted to high ideas about the Lady, the Lady - the ideal embodiment of femininity and harmony. Impressed by this image of an all-understanding and wise woman, they look for a friend no worse for themselves. Its unique features are a reflection of the romantic’s own interests, but embellished with stereotypes.
They will say anything, charm and seduce, but as soon as the shaky image collapses and the girlfriend appears in her true form, they will immediately lose interest, cool down and be disappointed. Perhaps they will even accuse her of betrayal. Either they will look for the same one until the end of their days, or they will even join the lithromantics.
