Who cheats more often, men or women: statistics on cheating in Russia and the world

The infidelity of a loved one can irreversibly change the relationship between partners: the couple will either continue living together, no longer trusting each other, or decide to separate. The motives for female and male infidelity differ significantly from each other. To understand this, there are statistics on infidelity among men and women, translating their mental or physical impulses into numbers.

It's time to find out the whole truth about cheating.

Still from the film “Dovlatov”

For many years now, psychologists, sociologists and relationship experts have been studying the nature and statistics of infidelity between men and women in the hope of understanding what exactly different people consider cheating, why they do it and how they react to their partner’s infidelity.

It is noteworthy that in different countries the situation with the number of betrayals and their quality is far from the same. They walk to the left, of course, everywhere, but in some places not so much and not as often as, for example, in Russia (alas, this is the harsh truth).

Now we will figure out why exactly people cheat on each other, who does it more often, men or women, and also how we should deal with all this.

So, let's start with the main facts about infidelity that all monogamous couples should know.

Married relationships

As a rule, marriage is concluded for long-term interaction with the creation of a common household and the birth of children. By entering into a union, young people have their own idea of family life. Often it is copied (consciously or unconsciously) from the relationship between father and mother. The state of falling in love gives idealistic confidence in the inviolability of relationships and the endless brightness of sensations from a partner.

With the emergence of everyday needs and interactions in everyday life, spouses lose part of the attractiveness that once attracted them to each other. A. Chekhov wrote in his satirical stories that a wife is a bride, half erased by censorship.

Adultery occurs due to disharmony in the family, dissatisfaction of one or both spouses with the actions of the other or the personal characteristics of the partners. For this reason, the compatibility of partners is of great importance, which depends on:

level of education and culture;
mental and social maturity;
similarities in value systems;
similarities in behavioral styles;
sexual compatibility.

If the spouses do not immediately assume an “open” type of relationship with freedom of sexual relations, then the first crisis of family relationships with “leaving to the left” can occur during the wife’s pregnancy or with the birth of a child.

If a person is financially dependent on their partner, they are more likely to cheat

According to a 2015 study published in the American Sociological Review, a person who is completely financially dependent on their partner is more likely to cheat on them than if they were economically independent. Moreover, this is more typical of men who rely on their wives for financial matters.

It is also noteworthy that men are less likely to cheat on their wives if they earn more than them. However, not by much: if their income begins to amount to more than 70% of the family budget, they are again close to treason.

How often do wives cheat - statistics

A study was also presented among women. As it turned out, young girls are practically not prone to cheating, even those who have been married for several years. The main part of the survey is those representatives of the fairer sex who are over 30 years old. It is worth noting that those women who have a higher education and a solid job are more prone to cheating.

What was surprising to experts was that approximately 82 percent of women admitted that they cheated on their husbands with a good friend.

As a rule, at first for them the man was a friend and faithful assistant, only after which they had a sexual relationship. The study on marital fidelity took place in several countries. Among them were Russia, Ukraine and Belarus. Statistics showed that 42 percent of all respondents cheated on their partner at least once. About 18 percent of the fairer sex did not limit themselves to one time, they have regular relationships outside the family.

Muslim women turned out to be the most decent; the number of cheaters was only 3 percent of the total number of respondents.

If you delve deeper into the statistics, you will notice another surprising feature. There is a certain period when a woman decides to cheat - this is the third, seventh and twentieth year of marriage.

Men suffer more from physical infidelity, and women from emotional infidelity.

A 2013 study published in the journal Evolutional Psychology found that most men would be emotionally devastated if their girlfriend had sex with someone else without falling in love with the person.

Women, on the other hand, would be more affected by the fact that their partner fell in love with someone without being physically unfaithful.

Why does a woman choose the role of a mistress?

There are positive aspects to being a lover for a woman. For example, the opportunity to feel free. The psychology of a mistress is such that she doesn’t owe anyone anything. She is on an open voyage: today there may be one, tomorrow another, if she wanted, she made an appointment, but if she wanted, she canceled it. And no one will dare to object to her frivolity. However, the problem is that women are rarely frivolous even with their lovers.

There is another plus. The position of a mistress is truly an opportunity to once again feel like a wonderful girl, beautiful, loved, adored. This is the whole charm of secret affairs - people are reliving what has long passed in their, so to speak, official relationship. Dates, gifts, compliments, good sex - all this is experienced by a woman in the position of a mistress. But let's not forget about the disadvantages of such relationships.

A man with whom a woman cheated can truly evoke trembling feelings in her. This is not surprising, even if initially she did not have serious intentions, because women are sensual and amorous by nature. Then she begins to be tormented by doubts and uncertainties about her partner and the new man, and she can fall into real depression. If she breaks up with her lover for the sake of her family, she will feel guilty, become unhappy with her own boyfriend or husband, in general, she will simply harm herself. If you decide to leave your family for your lover, then there is a chance for happiness with an unmarried man. Married people rarely leave their families. Often they fill in the gaps in their family life or just have fun. And then the girl begins to suffer from being in a love triangle.

Thus, the status of a mistress is always free, but never the only one. A woman who agrees to this role will have to come to terms with this situation, because only in this situation will she be able to get some benefit from the secret affair, like a positive emotional shake-up. Otherwise, she will be disappointed with her actions.

https://istorii-izmen.ru/psixologiya-zhenskoj-nevernosti-i-prichiny-izmen.html

And let's go from the other side. Do all women cheat?

A person's tendency to cheat may be at the genetic level

Recently, more and more studies have appeared that indicate that some people have a tendency to cheat on a biological level.

For example, scientists from the University of Queensland concluded that people with certain types of hormones oxytocin and vasopressin were more prone to cheating than others. By the way, vasopressin is a hormone associated with social behavior, including trust, empathy and sexual connection.

So, according to this study, 40% of cases of female infidelity and 62% of male infidelity were associated with genetics. That's really a lot.

Types of adultery

Dr. Gediminas Navaitis, one of the most famous psychologists, conventionally divided adultery into three types:

Casual extramarital contact is associated with a one-time sexual relationship or a short-term relationship. These are the so-called drunken infidelities, unexpected adventures on a business trip or at an alumni meeting.
Erotic-sexual adventures . This type of extramarital affairs is caused by the desire to experience novelty in sexual relationships. This type of relationship does not last long and is not dangerous for family relationships, since the priority of the family and the spouse remains paramount. Such connections are terminated in case of danger of exposure. As the statistics of female infidelities show, new relationships at the resort give ladies “over 40” unforgettable impressions and a boost of energy for the year ahead.
Direct betrayal , which is characterized by the duration of the relationship and the formation of emotional dependence on the partner. Existing statistics on betrayal in marriage indicate that it is precisely this kind of relationship that has a destructive effect on the family.

A person is more likely to cheat if he has cheated before

This was revealed in a 2022 study published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior. Researchers surveyed more than 500 people and found that those who cheated in their first relationship were three times more likely to report cheating in their second relationship compared to those who were faithful in their first love.

Interestingly, study participants who reported that their first partner had cheated on them were twice as likely as others to experience the same situation in their second relationship.

It is worth noting that all of the above research results were based on the experiences of residents of the USA, Europe and Israel. However, by and large, approximately the same situation with infidelity is observed in Russia.

In any case, now we will look in detail at what is happening with betrayal in our country.

Still from the film "Mistresses"

Reasons for women cheating

The statistics of infidelity among women have a different direction compared to the infidelity of men. A woman in the Russian Federation is ready to break the oath of allegiance in the following cases:

desire to take revenge on her husband for betrayal;
the need for love and increased self-esteem;
getting new sensations;
sexual dissatisfaction;
desire to change husband;
forced concession to the head of the company in which she works;
a way of thanking for a service rendered;
desire to receive bonuses in the form of money and gifts.

In young families, statistics attribute girls' infidelity to their career ambitions, especially during a crisis.

The peculiarities of women's adultery lie in the emotional aspect of such relationships. A married woman weighs the pros and cons for a long time before consciously deciding to take this action. Emotional dissatisfaction, the desire for love and understanding prevail over sexual needs, although the latter push more mature ladies to take this step, whose desires physiologically cannot be satisfied by spouses of the same age. Based on the reasons for a wife’s infidelity, statistics display the following figures:

54% of women violated marital fidelity, of which 26% continued to love their husbands;
43% dated married men.
11% did this once.
9% – 2 times.
34% – more than 2 times.

The statistics of divorces after a wife’s infidelity does not particularly stand out from the total number of disintegrating marriages:

not every man is ready to bear the title “cuckold”;
A number of reasons push a woman to violate fidelity in marriage;
A man decides to divorce immediately or continues the relationship, which depends more on his temperament.

So, what's wrong with Russia?

There is a widespread opinion that in Russian society, cheating on the part of guys is almost a generally accepted cultural phenomenon and a feature of our mentality.

You've probably noticed that quite often in men's groups the main topic of conversation is stories about how someone cleverly went to the left, but his wife or girlfriend didn't even burn him.

The roots of this problem are hidden in many formative aspects of our society - from the demographic situation to the conservative patriarchal structure of Russian society.

For example, in Russia there are 100 women for every 86 men, which for the most part makes it much easier for guys to find potential partners. However, in addition to the numerical superiority of girls in our country, in the minds of many Russians there are many erroneous attitudes that legitimize the cheating of guys.

Here are a few of them:

What motivates women when they cheat on their husbands?

Female infidelity is much worse than male affairs. No, any betrayal does not bring anything good to either partner. But female infidelity has a different character.

IMPORTANT: When men cheat, they want more, but women are looking for better. Note to men - if a woman cheats on you, then you have lost her. A woman can forgive and survive a lot, but the most compelling reason for female infidelity is disappointment!

The lack of spiritual intimacy and emotional contact pushes women into an affair with another man. In accessible language - with a caring husband, having two children, a woman will not do this. Even without the desired income or mink coats in the closet.
indifference becomes another reason for “going to the left.” When children are born, the husband is constantly at work, he does not help her with everyday problems, but also does not pay attention to her as a woman. It is not necessary to buy diamonds; even a small bouquet for no reason will do. Both women and men want to receive care and love from their significant other.

Women cheat too

Unsatisfied sexual needs . There are two options at play here: There may be a discrepancy between the sexual “indices” of the partners. That is, twice a week is enough for a husband, but a wife needs it twice as often. Time also plays a role. Some people want intimacy early in the morning, while others “wake up” only late in the evening.
The woman simply stopped developing her energy. She was burdened with everyday problems, denying her needs for sex and hiding her desires. This energy accumulated for years, and then it simply exploded like a bomb.

By the way , betrayal for the sake of revenge is a little in tune with the previous point. If a partner has repeatedly cheated on his beloved, and his wife has once again forgiven him, then on an unconscious level she will bring someone else into your family. That is, the husband’s love triangle will simply develop into the wife’s triangle.

Dissatisfaction can also be physical . Also, the possibility of lack of material satisfaction cannot be ruled out, but such a reason rarely pushes a woman to cheat. Girls run into the arms of others due to lack of self-development. Closing a wife within four walls often becomes a provocation to break out of this cycle. This usually affects housewives with limited communication and a monotonous lifestyle.

Well, don’t forget that men are stronger by nature. And they often prove their authority through psychological pressure or physical violence. This also includes abuse of her children from a previous marriage, addictions that the man does not try to get rid of. Constant nagging and moral humiliation debilitate a woman as a person.

The presence of a weak husband pushes you to look for a strong representative. Today there are more and more strong and independent women, so the picture when a weak man is nearby is becoming more and more common. The quiet enjoyment of life on your husband’s sofa will begin to get boring over time.

It is also possible that there is a reason that echoes some previous versions. A woman can begin to achieve some career heights through bed. Or sometimes it happens that a woman who has lived for years without her husband’s attention can repay with adultery as a thank you for the help of another man.

Women are looking for attention in others that their husband does not give.
A few words about how to deal with a cheater:

Never sort things out based on emotions. There is no point in swearing, shouting and sorting things out as to why they did this.
You need to give both partners a little time to calm down and rethink the situation. It is advisable not to even see each other during this time.
And only then, in calm tones, find out why this happened. After all, do not forget that in any situation and quarrel both partners are to blame.
And only after everything can you make a decision: to forgive or not. If you are ready to forget betrayal, then you should be ready for this. And then never remember her.
If you reproach your partner for cheating every time you have a quarrel, this will only lead to a breakup.
But, if you cannot forgive and close your eyes to such an act, then put an end to it right away. Otherwise, resentment will accumulate, and sooner or later it will break free. Moreover, this tangle of resentment will certainly lead to a loud and scandalous break with hatred.

"All men cheat"

This code phrase, embedded in the background of almost every Russian, seems to give the right to betrayal, suggesting that infidelity is supposedly inherent in male nature.

“If you don’t cheat, it means you’re not cool, not macho, no one needs you, no one likes you, not desired, weak, bad in bed.”

, - culture puts these thoughts into men’s heads, rewarding them with an inferiority complex. And therefore, almost everyone who does not lead an intense sex life inevitably feels worse than others.

This setting is a kind of trigger - a pistol shot at the start of a race from woman to woman. And if successful, the code “all men cheat” becomes an integral (read: toxic) attribute of a “real man” who walks around without a hat in winter and cries only if a branch pierces his eye (purely because of a reflex).

Still from the series “Season of Cheating”

Men's infidelity: when they cheat most often

Let's look at the average data by age:

Young people aged 20 to 25 cheat on their girlfriends or young wives most often - in 76% of cases. This is explained by the fact that guys at this time are at the peak of their sexuality and it is difficult for them to remain faithful to one girl.
According to statistics, about 60% of men under the age of 40 take mistresses.
After 40 years, a man’s ardor cools down: at this age, 35% decide to cheat. This period is considered a midlife crisis for men, so the man in this case cheats more to maintain his self-confidence than because of affection for another woman.
About 57% of men cheat on their significant other with married women.
Casual sex or cheating due to alcohol intoxication occurred at least once in 15% of men.
18% of men would not refuse a quick affair on vacation or on a business trip.

Based on these data, we can conclude that men cheat much more often in their youth than in old age.

...about 60% of men under the age of 40 have mistresses.

What about women?

"It's all her fault"

Surely you are familiar with this postulate, which allows any man to get away with it after betrayal. And why all? Yes because she:

didn’t make enough effort to remain attractive to him;
didn't make love to him as much as he wanted;
I didn’t cook for him the way he would like and didn’t create home comfort;
in a word, she couldn’t cope with her “womanly responsibilities.”

Pay attention, in our world, in principle, it is customary to shift responsibility onto women (it was the woman who “stole” the man from the family, it was the wife’s fault that her husband cheated on her, it was the employee who “provoked” the boss’s harassment, it was the girl who chose the wrong clothes and therefore was raped).

We must understand that the union of two people must be built on joint agreements, honesty, mutual respect, support and love. Therefore, each of the participants in this union bears the same responsibility. So all the above “arguments” are, to put it mildly, incorrect.

Which zodiac signs change the most among men and women?

Well, there are different men and women. Some are ready to sit at home for years, while others cannot be forced onto the sofa with a whip, even on weekends. To believe or not to believe horoscopes is a personal matter for everyone. But some recommendations, even if they are past you, should be skipped. Maybe something will stick in your memory. When choosing your partner, take into account some features in order to be prepared for incidental situations.

The first and honorable place is given to Sagittarius . There is a goal - I see no obstacles. And if they exist, they only “add fuel to the fire.” And even if there is no goal, he will come up with it or find it. Sagittarius cannot exist without a goal! Even in love terms. This is a very freedom-loving zodiac sign. Its representatives marry reluctantly and relatively late, but they also do not miss the opportunity to go to the left. What is it, it’s such a rush of adrenaline. The very thought of being caught turns him on.
Men of this sign take a mistress to assert themselves, to be proud of themselves and to show off to their friends. These men are very easily tempted.

Sagittarius takes precedence

Women cheat to a lesser extent than men of this sign. But such girls choose their partners themselves, and their fidelity directly depends on the degree of affection and love for their partner. To keep Sagittarius, do not control him or limit his freedom. And also, create constant conditions so that he does not get bored.

Aries is in no way inferior to Sagittarius. Both women and men of this sign are looking for an ideal partner and have very high demands. And being disappointed, he looks for a new passion. Moreover, they do not see anything wrong with their actions. And why be upset, it was just sex.

This is a bright representative of male behavior, when spiritual and physical intimacy may not intersect. Status is also a common reason for their betrayal. This man often achieves heights in his career and is considered good-looking. Therefore, he sees no point in hiding “such beauty” from prying eyes.

But the woman is also used to achieving everything herself, including her partners. She can successfully pursue a career no less than any man, which is why she is not used to retreating. Often this is simply driven by curiosity and a desire for novelty.

Aries is a terrible jealous person. Even if I found a new ideal. The wife or husband of this sign must remain faithful. Therefore, a fleeting suitor or admirer near his “property” will return the unfaithful husband or wife home in an instant.

Geminis , with their sociability and curiosity, cannot miss such a chance. And why not, because others do it! Another sign that he will have multiple one-night stands and won’t even raise an eyebrow.

Their main reason lies in the fact that they are simply tired of their current relationship. Well, I'm tired of this monotonous family life. These representatives don’t even think about hiding anything or coming up with an excuse.

The only consolation is that they do not have constant love affairs. After all, this is the most fickle sign, so opinions will change by tomorrow.

It is impossible to protect a Gemini from betrayal. He is always communicating and on the move. He just needs a like-minded person nearby. Scolding Gemini is completely pointless. Even if you express your dissatisfaction, he will turn the situation around so that you will still feel guilty. Because there was no point in catching them red-handed.

Fourth place went to the quiet and harmless Cancers . They can be called pathological cheaters. They don't have good reasons - everything works out for them by itself. Their problem rather lies in the fact that they are always looking for their “only soul mate.” But you can be sure that Cancer will not leave the family. He will live with great responsibility in two houses. True, this applies more to male representatives.

This man uses an excuse more often than others - that's all she does. I didn’t want to at all, they forced me! But in general, this man will be an exemplary family man and a wonderful father.

Take care of your love

But the woman of this sign does not fit into this rating a little. Cancer girls rarely cheat and only when there is no spiritual connection with their partner. Frequent insults from a partner can push a wife into the arms of another man. To protect him from this, you need to always be on guard. And don’t let “dangerous” ladies get close. It is also important to know that spiritual intimacy with a partner is very valuable for Cancer. Therefore, do not scold for what happened, but rather talk calmly.

And the top five is completed by Pisces. It’s a little shocking, but these representatives can cheat every day and even several times, but only in their heads. In reality, such representatives do not cheat, but find their true love. Although “rearranging the terms” does not change anything.

Often such romantic men touch the soul notes of representatives of the opposite sex. This doesn’t happen often, but sometimes they drift to the left.

Women of this sign also have affairs on the side. Moreover, their main advantage is also the spiritual side. These are very sensual natures and their weak point is the heart. They trust it more often than common sense.

To protect your family from this, do not offend vulnerable Pisces. Also, don't try to hold them back. The good news is that they rarely leave the family. Again, only if they meet true love.

IMPORTANT: The most faithful signs are considered to be: Taurus, Capricorn and Scorpio. Taurus loves home and family comforts too much, and they are also overly conservative. Capricorns consider this a low act. Moreover, it took them so long to choose their “ideal”. And Scorpio is too jealous to go “to the left.”

Treason as a temptation
And do not forget that you cannot classify some only as traitors, and call others “saints and sinless.” Everyone is susceptible to cheating to one degree or another. Much depends on how comfortable the partners are in marriage. There must be spiritual and physical intimacy between spouses. I remember the phrase: “in marriage you need to fall in love many times, but always with the same person!”

Some final statistics

According to a survey by the sociological organization Levada Center conducted in 2015, 63% of Russians have a negative attitude towards infidelity. Moreover, 70% of women and only 55% of men have a negative attitude towards the idea of having a lover or mistress.

In addition, it turned out that for most Russians, getting married means the “end of the game” on the love front, but many do not mind having sex on the side before going to the altar.

Sociologists also found that for half of Russians, intimacy without love is considered unacceptable, while a third of the population accepts intimacy without a romantic connection.

Author: Dmitry Petrosyants

The role of fidelity tests

Violation of fidelity in marriage is one of the sore topics for spouses. Young people entering into relationships strive to protect themselves by passing special compatibility tests or trying to determine their partner’s infidelity using fashion magazine surveys. The results of the questionnaire for girls show the statistics of the test; it attributes cheating to a partner in 84% of cases. In 16% the test indicates the complexity of relationships and 0% are ideal relationships. However, unprofessional tests cannot give a correct picture of a partner.