Why do people become indifferent to other people's grief?

Each of us could observe indifference to the grief of others Yes, negative words and actions can cause discomfort or even harm, they can irritate and enrage, but when there is no response at all, such an attitude should be alarming. Nobody wants to deal with aggressive people, but it's hard to deny: they are alive, they have emotions. As a rule, people’s problems can be solved, and if you try, you can find a way out of any situation. But how to react to a person whose gaze expresses nothing, who experiences neither pain nor compassion? The answer is quite clear: indifferent people cause distrust - you cannot rely on them.

It would seem, what’s wrong with them? Gray personalities to which even the word “personality” is difficult to apply. Indifferent people are not empty, they are often stuffed with knowledge and can easily retell the plot of a book or movie, have hobbies - in a word, at first glance they look like everyone else... But try to talk to them. You will lose interest in what they are saying after the very first phrases, because they will be devoid of a simple human attitude. Such people seem to have a paralyzed soul. The natural question is: why do people become indifferent?

What is indifference

When considering the phenomenon of indifference, one must take into account that the individual’s choice is completely conscious, it is a complete avoidance of taking part in any actions that do not concern him.
This is either a refusal to help, or an inability to show support and compassion at a time of extreme need to help people. First of all, this behavior is motivated by fear of obligations. The result of invading the life of strangers may be undesirable reactions, and the kindness shown by you sincerely and unselfishly may turn against you. But there are always risks; when making any decision, we are responsible for the future consequences. So is it worth rejecting people who need us? Experiencing the indifference shown by others towards us, we feel upset and stop believing in humanity; it is not easy to trust again, what to say about providing help to others when we ourselves did not receive it on time. By refusing help and remaining indifferent, we risk experiencing a feeling of guilt over time, which will leave a detrimental imprint on our lives. Why carry the weight of guilt with you? When there is an opportunity to do good and live with the belief that everything possible has been accomplished.

However, indifference and apathy can occur in absolutely everyone, regardless of character and values. The reason for this behavior is sometimes simple boredom. Boredom can cause a sluggish depressive state; while experiencing it, the individual does not have the required amount of internal resources to assist in the problems of others. A task that you do separately from work or study will help you overcome boredom; finding a task that has become an outlet and will begin to fill you with positive energy and strength is very important. This is related to age, so you can look for a type of activity that will bring happiness at any period of your life, as well as change it in the future.

Human behavior as a social being is strictly regulated by a certain number of hereditary factors. The interaction of a subject with society is a reflection of its characteristics.

To raise a caring person, parents should talk with their child about the manifestation of indifference in life, give examples, discuss various situations and discuss how they can show compassion, provide mutual assistance and understanding. Observe the manifestation of indifference in your child, perhaps by analyzing his interests and hobbies. If there are none, it is advisable to start looking for a favorite activity together, because responsiveness to people is possible when a person develops harmoniously in all areas.

Reasons for indifference

Where does indifference come from, what exactly caused its development in people? There are factors after which a subject decides to be deaf and blind regarding certain situations. Let's look at some of the reasons. A prolonged feeling of stress and anxiety makes a person emotionally exhausted and incapable of additional experiences. Such individuals are characterized by apathy and passivity.

The next reason for indifference is getting stuck on your own problems, an unshakable belief that there is simply nothing going on with those around you that is worth paying attention to. All other people's problems are leveled out and devalued, and the person himself is prone to a constant position of victim and expects pity and support only for himself. Most often, indifferent people do not see themselves as such; even more, many of them are absolutely sure that they are soft and sympathetic.

Also, a large number of misfortunes experienced can make any person more rigid and detached from the troubles of others. Although it would seem, on the contrary, that those who have experienced such a situation are best able to show responsiveness, unfortunately this is not always the case.

Our psyche tends to protect us from repeating traumatic situations that once happened, so a person’s consciousness seems to distance itself from everything that reminds him of what he experienced. But this happens subconsciously, while consciously a person is sure that he is absolutely not interested in delving into other people’s affairs. And sometimes, circumstances arise in which a person who has not had such sad situations is simply not able to empathize with the grief of others. But a similar reaction is most often characteristic of teenagers, when childhood naivety and all-encompassing love have passed, and life experience is not yet enough to adequately assess the current situation.

In addition to the global reasons described, there are situational reasons when a person was simply confused and could not provide help immediately, felt unwell and did not react properly. Do not rush to condemn others in anything, do not bear the burden of grievances, learn to forgive and give others the opportunity to improve.

Why is indifference dangerous?

Let's consider what dangers indifference brings. Indifference and responsiveness are opposite concepts in their meaning. If responsiveness can positively influence a person, renew hope for a solution, and give strength, then human indifference pushes us to despair and powerlessness in the face of the wall of troubles that have arisen.

Indifference, a phenomenon that destroys our society, the indifference of one will most likely affect everyone around. A child who notices indifference in the relationship between parents adopts their model of behavior and will behave the same way in similar situations. An adult who has felt the indifference of others may one day not help another, feeling resentment, experienced inattention from loved ones and society as a whole.

How often does society look past such global social problems as neglected children, assault in families, weakness and defenselessness of older people. What would happen if we found the strength to solve problems that affected not only our interests? It is likely that there would be less evil that we encounter every day absolutely everywhere.

At the moment of indifference, humanity loses the ability to empathize, the connection with morality is lost, which, in principle, defines us as individuals. These people are filled more with negativity, envy, and the inability to share not only the suffering of others, but also joy. It is also difficult for such people to show love; inside they can experience this feeling that they do not understand, but outwardly they can push away their loved one or even offend them. And this all turns into an unbreakable circle. A person who does not know how to show love is unlikely to evoke a feeling of love in others, this, in turn, will have an even greater impact on his life and will lead to loneliness, because it will be very difficult to maintain even ordinary communication with such a person, let alone to create a strong family.

Please note that you don’t need to take other people’s problems too closely into your heart. This is the cause of depression, sadness, and emotional instability. Sympathy is wonderful, but even in this feeling there should be boundaries; you shouldn’t live with other people’s problems. Showing participation and support is very simple, often these are ordinary things: helping a young mother with a stroller, telling a grandmother with poor eyesight the bus number, helping a lost child find his parents, or helping a person who feels unwell.

We often rush, not paying attention to what is happening around us, although sometimes just a minute of our time can cost a person his life. The famous writer Bruno Yasensky wrote in his novel “The Conspiracy of the Indifferent”: “Do not be afraid of your friends - in the worst case, they may betray you, do not be afraid of your enemies - in the worst case, they will try to kill you, but beware of the indifferent - only with their silent blessing betrayals and murders are happening on Earth.”

Positive emotions make our lives bright and full; try to notice more good things around you, show more compassion and help, and respond to people with kindness.

Each new generation is obliged to develop through the accumulation of social experience. The interaction of an individual with the social environment is a process of demands and expectations on both sides. A person is guided by skills acquired through direct relationships in social groups. Therefore, by freeing ourselves from the burden of grievances and accumulated claims against others, we will free ourselves from such qualities as indifference, indifference and callousness. Give goodness to the world, and the world will definitely give it back to you threefold!

Examples in different areas

Let's figure out what types of indifferent attitude are most often noted.

  • Paired with

When in a relationship or marriage partners do not hear each other, do not respond to the desires and requests of their partner, are not interested in his dreams, stories, affairs, a crack appears, which over time turns into a huge hole. Then they say that the family boat crashed into everyday life. But that's not true. It is not everyday life that destroys relationships, but indifference and unwillingness to pacify one’s ego.

There is another side, when one of the partners fights against closed doors for a long time and tries to achieve the attention and love of his companion, without receiving anything in return. Gradually, pain and disappointment go away, replaced by indifference.

  • In relationships with people

This is the case when passers-by calmly walk past a person lying on the ground. This is about how a child’s screams are heard behind the wall asking his mother not to hit him, and the neighbors turn up the volume of the TV. When netizens watch news about crimes being committed, but not a single muscle on their faces moves. Because no one cares about anyone.

  • To animals

Sometimes I come across advertisements like “we’ll give a cat/dog to good hands due to a move.” Not everyone is looking for good hands in such a situation, not everyone is found, often the animal is simply euthanized or thrown away. Can you imagine how, due to a move, a family sends a grandmother or son out onto the street? Why is this possible with animals?

  • Towards the environment

The consequences of an indifferent attitude towards nature are felt more and more acutely every year. Of course, an ordinary person cannot globally influence the cleanliness of the atmosphere or stop emissions at a local plant, but he is quite capable of not throwing garbage past the trash can, sorting plastic waste or handing over used batteries to collection points. How many people are doing this today?

  • To the children

Parents' indifference seems harmless only at first glance. But the consequences of a lack of love can be very different - from similar coldness in the future towards one’s children to the inability to build harmonious relationships with people and pronounced aggression.

  • To work

Very few people can boast of a profession that charges them with positive emotions every day and motivates them to strive even harder. In general, people go to jobs they don’t like, get bored or nervous while performing their duties, and count the minutes until the end of the next working day.

Not every employer dreams of having uninterested people on their staff, and therefore relations with such employees quickly deteriorate, which further increases the degree of their indifference to work.

  • To life

Perhaps this is one of the most severe forms of indifference, which is expressed in apathy and a depressive outlook on life itself. A person is not happy with anything, nothing interests him, he has no goal and does not strive anywhere.

  • To myself

It manifests itself in an irresponsible attitude towards one’s health, towards one’s desires, letting obvious symptoms of diseases take their course, etc.

  • In politics

Indifference here is observed on both sides of the barricades: people do not participate in elections, believing that everything will be decided without them, and officials line their pockets, not caring about the hardships and needs of the people.

Why are people indifferent

In fact, you see glaring examples of what human indifference can lead to every day and hourly. A man has a heart attack on the subway - the crowd walks by indifferently, considering him to be drunk. And then the doctors shrug their shoulders: if only we had been called a little earlier. No one comes out of the apartment for a long time, a plaintive child’s cry can be heard – the neighbors wouldn’t even think of asking where the baby’s parents went or if they need help. And after some time, articles about the terrible tragedy appear in newspapers. And so on. Why does this happen? Why are people so indifferent to each other? Some see the reason for this negative phenomenon in our history. They say that the people had to endure so many difficult trials, go through such torment, that many people simply became embittered. We got used to relying only on ourselves, without asking anyone for help and without offering it to anyone. The sayings say the same thing: “Moscow doesn’t believe in tears,” “God is high, the Tsar is far,” “Don’t believe, don’t be afraid, don’t ask,” and the like. Others argue that this is what people do who did not receive enough parental affection and care in childhood. Like, no one was interested in them, no one helped them - when they grew up, they became indifferent, they got used to behaving in the same way. And they don’t even imagine that it is possible to live differently. Still others see the reason in the excessive bureaucratization of our state, in corruption and permissiveness of the “chosen ones”. They say that people have long gotten used to the idea that nothing depends on them, and that any protest is useless and will lead to nothing. Therefore, they simply waved their hand, preferring to isolate themselves from the sad reality and not pay attention to anything. There is probably some truth in all these statements. But this still does not justify indifference. It is useless to wait for some kind wizard to appear and solve all problems in one fell swoop. And then, they say, it will be possible to become kind and attentive to each other. We ourselves need to start at least small: keep our own entrances clean and tidy, help those who are especially in need (for example, is it really so difficult to go to the pharmacy to buy medicine for a retired neighbor?), create a small flower bed under your own windows, plant flowers . Even the longest journey begins with the very first step.

Why do people become indifferent to other people's grief?

Each of us at least once in our lives has encountered the indifference of others. The negative opinion and attitude of another person can be harmful, it can irritate and even infuriate, but when it is completely absent, it cannot but be alarming. Nobody wants to deal with aggressive people, but it's hard to deny: they are alive, they have emotions. They can be reassured; their problems, as a rule, can be solved. But how to react to a person whose gaze expresses nothing, who experiences neither pain nor compassion? The answer is quite clear: be afraid of indifferent people.

It would seem, what’s wrong with them? Gray personalities to which even the word “personality” is difficult to apply. Yes, sometimes they are stuffed with knowledge, they can easily retell the plot of a book or movie, have a hobby - in a word, be like other people... But try to talk to them. You will lose interest in what they are saying after the very first phrases, because they will be devoid of a simple human attitude. Such people seem to have a paralyzed soul. The natural question is: why did these people become indifferent?

Why indifference is dangerous - an essay on literature

We have prepared for you several essays on the dangers of indifference with examples from literature. Use our material to write your own argument on this topic.

Option 1

Indifference is a negative trait in a person that makes us callous towards others and even close people. Indifference shows how cold-blooded we are towards other people's feelings and troubles, turning us into monsters. Why is indifference dangerous? I think the danger is that a person who is indifferent to others may be left alone; no one will help him at the right time. This person will be controlled by pride and selfishness, and people will not want to get close to such a person.

So, using the example of Bunin’s work “Mr. from San Francisco,” we see what indifference leads to. The author writes that all his life the hero thought only about money and how to provide for himself, thereby forgetting about the main thing in life - family. When the gentleman decided to spend time with his wife and daughter by going on a cruise, his family had already lost interest in him. And from the poet’s description we can conclude that during the journey they were like strangers and each minded his own business. But not only his relatives treated the hero with indifference, also other guests of the ship on which everyone was sailing to rest. When the gentleman died, they simply put him in a box so that no one would notice, without even showing pity. Thus, we can conclude that you cannot treat people with indifference, because they will treat you the same way, thereby the world will be left without good people.

You can also see indifference in Chekhov’s work “The Cherry Orchard”. The author writes about Ranevskaya’s estate, which was surrounded by a cherry orchard, but it must be sold for debts. The owner herself was indifferent to her house, which belonged to her family. After the house was bought, Ranevskaya calmly goes to another city to visit her lover, do not think about the family estate.

We can conclude that indifference is dangerous because people forget about family and their values ​​for their own benefit. Thus, our humanity’s responsiveness to our loved ones is destroyed.

Option 2

What is indifference? What negative consequences does it entail for a person? Famous writer A.P. Chekhov said that “indifference is paralysis of the soul.” It is difficult to disagree with him, because an indifferent person is not able to sympathize and experience compassion, empathize and rejoice at his neighbor. An indifferent person is not interested in the problems of society; he does not care about his surroundings.

Examples of indifference and its consequences are often found both in everyday life and in works of literature. So in the novel of the same name by A.S. Pushkin's main character - Eugene Onegin - shows indifference to the whole world, he does not see the meaning in anything. Eugene was brought up like any nobleman. Social life quickly made him indifferent. He was bored with idle and empty everyday life. Onegin realizes that he has become insensitive, he tries to change himself and leaves the capital for the village. But he quickly became tired of village life. In addition, because of his indifference, he rejects friendship with Larin and does not accept Tatyana’s love. The hero cannot show real emotions and feelings. Evgeny Onegin tries to build a close relationship with Olga, without thinking about how Lensky will feel. Onegin’s feelings awoke only after Lensky’s death during a duel, because it was Onegin who, due to his indifference, allowed this to happen. The dryness and selfishness that accompanied him for many years caused enormous damage. Onegin paid a high price for not being able to get rid of indifference in time.

What would happen to the world if every person in it was indifferent? What would happen to society? This is exactly the picture painted by F.M. Dostoevsky in his novel “Crime and Punishment”. One of the main heroines of the work, Sonya Marmeladova, feels the importance and necessity of self-sacrifice and responsiveness to others. She is “a ray of light in the dark kingdom” of a society mired in callousness. She tries to help everyone, including Rodion Raskolnikov. Sonya helps Rodion cope with terrible mental torment. If not for her, the novel could have ended tragically.

Indifference is a problem found in different eras. It leads to darkness and callousness of the soul. That is why you should help your neighbors, empathize and open your soul to the world.

Option 3

Indifference is a lack of interest and an indifferent attitude towards the environment. But can it be dangerous to humans? An indifferent person is dangerous both for himself and for society. Most often he is calm and indifferent, he is not interested in other people's problems. I believe that such a person can leave without help even a person who vitally needs the support of others. He sees only his own interest, he is indifferent to other people's fates. Pride and selfishness rule in his soul.

Fiction could not help but touch upon this problem. “Hero of Our Time” M.Yu. Lermontova demonstrates an indifferent person who ruins people's destinies without thinking about the destructiveness of his actions. In one of the chapters of the work, Pechorin comes to Pyatigorsk, where he meets Princess Mary, with whom his longtime acquaintance Grushnitsky is in love. And George decides to break off their relationship in a cruel way. Pechorin begins to court the girl, trying in every possible way to attract her attention. The princess becomes cold towards Grushnitsky, and after some time she confesses her love to Pechorin.

However, he doesn't need a girl. For him it was just a fun game; the man never had warm feelings for Mary. His indifference ruined the princess’s life, and, unfortunately, even after his deed, the hero did not see his guilt. I also remember the play by A.P. Chekhov's "The Cherry Orchard". Throughout Ravnevskaya’s life, she was driven by pride: the woman treated both servants and relatives with disdain. The heroine is also indifferent to the future of her relatives: she, having sold the estate, returns to her lover with the money intended for her daughter. She sees only her own interest in the current situation, and she is not at all bothered by the feelings of other people.

Thus, an indifferent person is dangerous for others, he is not worried about the fate of other people, he sees only his own benefit everywhere. Unfortunately, indifferent people can influence other people's lives, so you should be extremely careful not to fall victim to coldness and apathy.

Option 4

We often hear about the indifference of modern people to everything that happens in the world. Indifference is a feeling of indifference to what is happening, an unwillingness to react to it. Indifferent people do not care about global, other people’s, and sometimes even their own problems and destinies. But what can such a life position lead to? Why is indifference dangerous?

Let us turn to the work of M.Yu. Lermontov "Hero of Our Time". The main character of the novel, Grigory Pechorin, can be called an indifferent person. He suffers from boredom and is only concerned with getting rid of it by any means necessary. One of the chapters of the novel, Princess Mary, tells about Pechorin’s time in Pyatigorsk, where he came for healing waters. There he meets the princess's young daughter, Mary. Having learned that his friend, Grushnitsky, is courting the girl, Pechorin decides to entertain himself in a very cruel way. He aims to make young Mary fall in love with him, upsetting her possible relationship with Grushnitsky. Gregory begins to court the girl and seduce her. He ensures that Mary becomes cold towards Grushnitsky and stops responding to his advances. After some time, the girl confesses her love to Pechorin, but he does not need her feelings at all, he does not love Mary. In the end, he admits to the girl that it was all just a game on his part and he never had feelings for her. We see that in pursuit of satisfying his own pride, Pechorin does not care at all about the feelings and fates of those around him. He easily plays with people, destroying their lives.

Another example is Kuprin’s “Fairy Tale”. The story follows a family who hears screams from the forest on a harsh winter night. Everyone in the house can hear the person calling for help perfectly well, but the mother says that it is none of their business. The father finds an excuse for himself in the form of a damaged gun, although he himself admits that he feels sorry for the man. The grandfather tells the family members to be glad that they are sitting at home safe, behind high fences and strong locks. The indifference and cowardice of this family could have cost someone their life that night.

Thus, indifference can be dangerous for others, because it is indifferent people who contribute to the triumph of evil through their inaction, allowing themselves or others to be cruel to others. That is why you need to remember how important it is not to remain indifferent, because who knows what could happen to you tomorrow.

Mutual understanding with loved ones is the basis of warm and healthy relationships

It is unlikely that geneticists will tell us the gene that is responsible for philanthropy. Although you can often hear that indifference is inherited. Why do people tend to think this way? It's very simple: children who grow up in families in which there is no mutual understanding and support between parents become cold-blooded and selfish over time. As they say, a bad example is contagious.

They say that for everyone in the family to be happy, the mother must be happy. Unfortunately, many couples live for years, studiously not noticing each other. Their feelings have long since cooled down; the daily routine is the most ruthless mechanism, capable of turning living people into robots, performing the same actions day after day simply because it is necessary. Why should you be afraid of indifferent people living together? Because it is children who suffer first of all from their indifference.

Remember how often you have witnessed the aggressive behavior of someone else's child. Believe me, these are still flowers. He shows aggression because he is deprived of the love of his parents. His natural desire to attract attention is screaming, rage, aggression in all kinds of forms. However, what is worse than these open manifestations is when a child loses hope of being heard. And this is almost the same as losing the hope of being loved, depreciating in your own eyes.

The consequences of the lack of affection and love from parents are the saddest. The child withdraws into himself, ceases to show interest in the world around him, he begins to lag behind his peers or, conversely, becomes too immersed in the study of literature, music, etc. on depressive topics. At best, he will grow up to be an indifferent person; at worst, it can lead to suicide in adolescence.

Indifference and its causes

Indifference is not a disease , so it is impossible to list clear reasons and make a correct diagnosis. Moreover, indifference is usually incurable. Each callous person has his own story, because of which he stopped responding to the hardships of others, each case is unique in its own way. However, there are some basic patterns why people become indifferent:

  • Indifference as a method of self-defense due to multiple emotional and mental traumas previously suffered;
  • Lack of understanding of someone else’s situation, inability to empathize with it due to the lack of similar life experience;
  • Physical and psychological reasons - alcoholism and drug addiction, mental retardation, mental disorders;
  • Short-term severe stress due to physical injury or death of a loved one;
  • Lack of support, love and even violence from relatives - in childhood or in a married couple.

These are just some of the reasons that characterize an indifferent attitude towards other people's problems.

The root of callousness and indifferent attitude comes from the family

An indifferent attitude is inherited - this statement can be heard quite often. But why do people tend to think this way? It's very simple: children who grow up in families in which there is no mutual understanding and support between parents become cold-blooded and selfish over time. As they say, a bad example is contagious.

Why is indifferent people living together bad ? Because it is children who suffer first of all from their indifference. They say that for everyone in the family to be happy, the mother must be happy. Unfortunately, many couples live for years, studiously not noticing each other. Their feelings have long since cooled down; the daily routine is the most ruthless mechanism, capable of turning living people into robots, performing the same actions day after day simply because it is necessary.

Remember how often you have witnessed the aggressive behavior of someone else's child. Believe me, these are still flowers. He shows aggression because he has become a victim of indifference on the part of his parents. The natural desire of such a child to attract attention is screaming, rage, aggression in all kinds of forms. However, what is worse than these open manifestations is when a child loses hope of being heard. And this is almost the same as losing the hope of being loved, depreciating in your own eyes.

An indifferent attitude towards a child , lack of affection and love from parents have the most tragic consequences. The child withdraws into himself, ceases to show interest in the world around him, he begins to lag behind his peers or, conversely, becomes too immersed in the study of literature, music, etc. on depressive topics. At best, he will grow up to be an indifferent person, at worst, it can lead to suicide in adolescence.

Indifference as a consequence of improper upbringing

Why people become indifferent - the basis most often lies in their childhood or adolescence. Agree, becoming indifferent in an instant is almost impossible (unless the reason is severe physical injury or the loss of a loved one). And here it’s not always about the parents and their participation in the child’s life; rather, on the contrary – incorrect upbringing and instilling a system of distorted values ​​imposed by society are the root of the problem.

The problem of indifferent attitude towards people among teenage boys is often hidden in a feigned desire to look like a “real man.” If you have a son, think about whether you told him this phrase too? By demanding toughness from boys (“Don’t cry, be a man!”, “Spit on them, they’re not worth your attention!”, “Ignore them, don’t pay attention to fools!”), we replace the concept of masculinity for them.

Why empathy is okay

The problem of indifferent people is the problem of all the people around them. How is a person different from an animal? The ability to come to the aid of one’s neighbor, the ability to sympathize, to empathize with the grief of others. Because of indifferent people, every year in the world many people die on the streets from heart attacks, beatings and robberies occur, which could have been avoided if a passer-by had not turned away indifferently, but at least called for help.

A person has become indifferent not because our society is bad. There is no need to look for an excuse for our cowardice or cowardice in the time or state in which we live. Listen to your heart - how often has it refused to respond to other people's tears? How often have you not responded to other people’s problems just because you have too many of your own? How often have they covered up their reluctance to part with a penny by saying that beggars can be scammers?

It's not about the people around you, it's only about yourself. Don't expect gratitude for the feeling shown. Love - and you will be loved.

Why Empathy Is Normal

The problem of indifferent people is a problem of the entire surrounding society. How is a person different from an animal? The ability to come to the aid of one’s neighbor, the ability to sympathize, to empathize with the grief of others. Because of indifferent people, every year in the world many people die on the streets from heart attacks, beatings and robberies occur, which could have been avoided if a passer-by had not turned away indifferently, but at least called for help.

A person becomes indifferent not because our society is bad. There is no need to look for an excuse for our callousness and cowardice in the time or state in which we live. Listen to your heart - how often has it refused to respond to other people's tears? How often have you not responded to other people’s problems just because you have too many of your own? How often have they covered up their reluctance to part with a penny by saying that beggars can be scammers?

It's not about the people around you, it's only about yourself and your ability to do good deeds. Don't expect gratitude for the feeling shown. Love - and you will be loved.

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