How to get people to like you: Pexels Some people have the ability to attract the attention of others at first sight. How do they manage to seem interesting? What do you need for this - a beautiful face, an open look, or something else? Popular psychologist Mikhail Litvak, professor Jack Shafer and other experts know how to arouse sympathy in a person and quickly make friends.
Smile
It sounds simple, but it really works.
The brain reacts to a smile (even a not entirely sincere one) with the release of endorphins, which lifts the mood. Plus, a smile is contagious. To people, your body language and facial expressions are much more important than your words or tone of voice. Your smile is an invitation to immediately relax, it disarms and establishes a pleasant a.
When you smile back, you are being both friendly and sincere. Often people do not respond with a smile if, for example, they do not know the person who smiled at them well.
When you return the smile, you are saying, “I like you too.” This makes you more attractive to the other person.
Nice wrapper
Let's start with the appearance. It’s not for nothing that they say that you meet someone by their clothes. It's true. No one will immediately like you with your intelligence, resourcefulness and courtesy. Many people initially look at appearance.
People around you like to be among pleasant, beautiful things and people. When a nice person stands in front of you, it’s much more pleasant for you to communicate with him. Therefore, take time to look at your appearance.
Get into styling. Understand what colors suit you, what style of clothing best emphasizes your figure. You don't have to go into this. It is enough to be neat, tidy, clean. No stains on clothes, holes. Shoes should always be clean; carry a special sponge with you. It's also a good idea to have wet wipes with you. They can come in handy in the most unexpected situations.
Girls are not recommended to wear too much makeup. Talking to a doll is unpleasant. Use light, natural and natural colors.
I would recommend that young people not wear a lot of perfume. Sometimes you get on the bus and immediately smell the “macho man” who has perfumed himself so much that tears flow from his eyes.
Watch your body language
We have not gone as far from our cave ancestors as we would like to think. Our brains still continue to look for danger in our environment and judge the degree of threat posed by other people by their body language.
To get someone to like you, you don't have to be dangerous. Therefore, along with a smile, you can use other visual cues: raise your eyebrows, tilt your head to the side.
Tilt of the head opens access to the carotid artery. This way you demonstrate trust. It sounds strange, but this once again proves that we are not as far from our wild ancestors as we would like to think.
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Our brain is constantly looking for threats in the environment. Stressful situations, such as interviews or meetings with clients, are assessed as potentially dangerous. After this, a defensive reaction is activated, and the body unconsciously takes a defensive position.
By eliminating the physical cues of tension and replacing them with a smile and an open body posture, you will cope with this reaction, feel less tense, and appear more attractive to other people.
How to make a person like you when you first meet?
How to make a person like you when you first meet?
There are many situations in life when you need to please a person from the very first minutes. And it doesn’t even matter whether you are planning a long-term relationship or not. This could be a client, boss, or seller. How can they all please them? Let's look at the general methods.
As a rule, when the conversation has not even begun, people look for nonverbal cues that allow them to understand whether a person is hostile or friendly. Since people usually see and only then hear each other, nonverbal cues play a big role. How can you show that you are positive?
- Play with your eyebrows . If people raise their eyebrows for less than a second, then they are not threatening each other. The brain is able to detect such a signal at a distance of up to 1.5 meters, and reacts immediately. By the way, people are rarely aware of this movement, because it is done unconsciously. At the same time, the process is accompanied by eye contact for a couple of seconds. This is also a sign of friendship or enmity. The game should be natural. When the rise is delayed, it is no longer the same. When a person raises his eyebrows unnaturally, this is already a manifestation of hostility.
- Head tilt. Leaning in any direction is considered a sign of friendliness. If a person feels threatened, he instinctively hides the carotid arteries. To do this, the head is pulled into the shoulders. When a person tends to tilt his head when communicating, he seems much more attractive. At the same time, women more often bow their heads, because men try to keep it straight, proving their own superiority.
- Smile . She conveys confidence and shows interest. Only in this case we are talking about a sincere smile. If it is done on purpose, it turns out crooked. She has no synchronicity. If you really need to fake a smile, then try to think about nice people.
- Sight . It works together with other signals. To express friendliness, it is enough to look into the eyes for a second. Longer contact may be perceived as aggression.
There are several techniques to enhance a person’s perception:
- Touching . They should be fleeting. For example, ask for help and lightly touch your hand. It will be much more effective. Just be careful with this method, because not everyone likes it. If you accidentally rub the back of your interlocutor’s hand, his attitude will immediately become clear.
- Imitation . If you copy the speaker's gestures, he will have a positive impression. Try this technique on new acquaintances. They will not understand that you are imitating, because such behavior fits into their standards and the brain does not react.
- Lean towards the interlocutor. This will reduce the distance between people and make them feel closer to you. The rapprochement indicates that the relationship is positive.
- Gestures . Gestures indicate interest in the topic of conversation and help maintain interest. So, to show the speaker that you are interested, nod your head. If you nod twice, this is recognized as an invitation to speed up.
- Friendship rule. If you want to please someone, you have to like yourself first. If during communication a person begins to feel better about himself, then he will be grateful for this feeling.
- Sympathy . This allows you to shift the focus of attention to the speaker. He rises in his own eyes. Such statements help show that the person is truly being listened to. It also provides closure and shows that you understand what is happening.
- Compliments . Some of them repel, and some, on the contrary, attract. It is best not to say them yourself, but to let the person do it. When a person praises himself, he does not doubt his sincerity.
- Asking for a favor . When a person helps someone, he becomes higher in his own eyes. So in this case, the point is not in you, but in who you ask.
Make others feel good
If you want people to like you, make them feel better in your presence and see themselves in a favorable light. You need to shift your focus away from yourself and pay more attention to those with whom you communicate.
There are many ways to do this: gratitude, recognition, direct eye contact, compliments, asking for advice. All these ways make other people feel important, correct, wise.
Avoid direct flattery - it is alarming and repulsive. Instead, carefully monitor the person's condition. For example, if he seems happy, ask, “Does it seem like you had a good day?” If your interlocutor responds, “I just closed the deal,” you can say, “You must have done a good job.” The person will leave you feeling better and will treat you better in the future.
Show a sense of humor
Regardless of what people think of an ideal friend or romantic partner, a sense of humor is very important.
Using humor when you first meet someone can make them like you more.
Let's say that participating in a humorous task together (for example, being blindfolded while your partner teaches you to dance) can increase romantic attraction!
Get involved
Moiggi Interactive/Flickr.com
If during a dialogue you make the other person feel like the most important person in the world, then you will automatically become more attractive and pleasant to him.
Turn off and put away your phone, look the person in the eyes, and completely immerse yourself in the conversation. If you come to dine together, do not pay attention to anyone else, with the possible exception of the waiter.
During a conversation, evaluate the details of your surroundings. Maybe there is a barrier of glasses or cups between you and your interlocutor? If so, remove it.
Be interesting
The most interesting and significant person for every person is himself. That's why people love to talk about themselves.
First, ask the person about his favorite projects or things to do, something that really excites him. Listen carefully to what he says. These conversations often don't take five minutes, but they will be the best five minutes of your conversation.
You can then ask follow-up questions to find out a little more (but don't turn it into an interrogation), or listen and share similar experiences. When you share your story, you connect, you find something in common, and people love to connect with people who are similar to them.
Finding common ground is a classic technique that helps build rapport. You can find common activities, work moments, hobbies, but it will take time. The simplest and most effective way is to find common ground in the person of a mutual friend who works in the same field as your interlocutor.
Emphasize shared values
According to classic research, people are more attracted to those who are similar to them. This is known as the "similarity attraction effect."
One experiment tested first-year students' attitudes toward controversial topics such as sex and politics and then assigned them to campus in pairs. By the end of their stay, it turned out that students liked their neighbors better if they shared their views on given topics.
Another study found that Air Force recruits liked each other more when they shared similar negative personality traits than when they shared similar positive personality traits.
Be visible
We prefer to communicate with people we know: colleagues, neighbors, or people we often meet at the gym.
“Familiarity has a simple effect on people, and that means being visible more often,” says Theo Tsaousides, a neuropsychologist and author of Brainblocks: Overcoming the 7 Hidden Barriers to Success Hidden Barriers to Success).
Presence is important, but it must not be allowed to become harassment. For example, you can drink coffee in the morning in the same cafe as the person you want to like, or comment on his posts on social networks. This is a way to show yourself, to communicate that you remember this person.
Discover your shortcomings from time to time
According to the “gaffe effect,” people will like you more after you make a small mistake—but only if they are convinced of your competence.
Discovering the fact that you are not perfect makes you a more understandable person and easier to relate to.
In an experiment at the University of Minnesota, students listened to a recording of other people answering quiz questions.
When people answered questions well but spilled their cup of coffee at the end of the interview, students rated their attractiveness higher than when they also answered well but avoided the coffee incident or answered poorly and still spilled their cup.
Give more and help
Whoever you meet, first of all think about how you can help this person. It doesn't always pay off right away, but when the time comes, it works 100%.
When you help someone, you show that you value that person. This is a whole philosophy that helps to improve relationships with others.
If you accept this attitude in life, you begin to think differently. If you consider the business sphere, then you begin to treat clients differently. You are already thinking not only about how to benefit from them, but also about how to make them more valuable and meaningful.
Tim Sanders has a simple way to achieve this goal. During every conversation, you should strive to give advice or give something to your interlocutor. This will make you stand out from other people and make you more attractive.
ACCEPT PEOPLE AS THEY ARE
The most common mistake people make is the belief that by setting out to re-educate someone, they can achieve complete success.
Of course, the human psyche is a rather flexible and plastic system. You can influence it to slightly mitigate any shortcomings, but it is unrealistic to completely remake it to your taste.
Attempts to rebuild a partner are most common in young families. Everyone tries to rebuild (remake) the other, in accordance with their habits, worldviews and concepts, but these attempts give only one result - divorce. The ex-spouses themselves suffer from this and, to a greater extent, their children, who are ultimately left without one of the parents, and less often the father is left behind.
If we recall the statistics according to which only 5 out of 10 men and only 4 out of 10 women improve their personal lives by starting a new family, you can see with the naked eye how expensive their efforts to “rebuild” each other cost people.
Of course, in every communication, especially in marriage, compromises are required, otherwise it will be unrealistic to adapt to the conversation or life in the family.
Therefore, instead of mercilessly criticizing your fellow man, expressing your disapproval of him for certain offenses or characteristic traits, it will be better to accept this person for who he is. After all, it was you who made the decision to choose him as your life partner, which means you saw merit in him.
Focus your attention on these virtues and try to maintain faith in the best qualities of your lover.
People are their own critics. Whatever action you take, people evaluate it. People always evaluate and criticize something. If you criticize, then criticize to the point.
If you have to pronounce negative judgments on a person, try to do it tactfully and gently. But if you hear well-deserved criticism addressed to you, try not to be offended, but rather immediately confidently and courageously admit that you were wrong in this situation.
Try not to talk to your family, friends or partners in a directive tone. Judge for yourself, if they talked to you the same way, you wouldn’t like it either. A directive tone creates a desire in a person to do the opposite.
However, never spare a kind word for your loved one. Sincerely praise him if he really deserves it, and do not be greedy with words of admiration and approval.
Love people for who they are. There is no need to rebuild or redo them. You won't be able to do it anyway. A person can change only if he wants to.
If you truly believe in him, it will be uncomfortable and difficult for him not to justify your faith. Therefore, in married couples, those husbands and wives more often win who, during their life together, maintain faith in the best virtues of their chosen one in life, sincerely encourage his/her best qualities, believe in him/her, do not criticize him/her mercilessly and rudely, the more more on the little things. They try to create a good reputation for their chosen one in the eyes of friends and others.
So, remember once and for all, you shouldn’t “break” anyone. Accept people as they are. This way you will preserve comfort and peace both in your family and in friendly company.
