A person is characterized not only by his appearance, but also by his ability to behave in society. This is especially true for speech skills, namely: the manner of communication, thanks to which a positive or negative opinion about a person is formed.
Types of communication manners
The manner of communication includes many different details, such as voice timbre, gestures, facial expressions, etc. We evaluate approximately half of the information presented by the interlocutor not only through the prism of facts, but also through the presentation of this information itself. In addition, the manner of speech tells a lot about the person himself, which means that during the dialogue he can seem both pleasant and repulsive to the interlocutor.
What might the communication style be?
The following types of speech patterns can be distinguished:
Types of communication
There are two main types of communication between people: direct communication and indirect. In the first case, information is transmitted directly from one person to another, in the second, communication occurs through an interpreter.
Communication style according to image
A person’s image is largely built not on the style of clothing, but on the manner of communication. For example, if a young man wants to join a work team and become an important part of it, it is important to use a business style of communication. A humorous or flirtatious style of speech will negatively affect his image, and it will be difficult to perceive him as a serious person.
Rules of good manners of speech
Speakers from all over the world recommend following a few rules to make your interlocutor seem polite and pleasant.
Negative aspects of speech manner
Each of us can make mistakes in the communication process, which means that we should familiarize ourselves with them in order to avoid:
Recommendations for self-development
During the conversation, do not be afraid to use gestures and lively facial expressions: this will give your speech pleasant expression and expressiveness. However, it is important to monitor gestures so that they do not look too rude and intrusive. Try not to touch your interlocutor during the conversation: this is not always true. Keep your distance and don't allow yourself to be too intrusive in words, actions and touches.
To make your speech sound as pleasant and interesting as possible, work on yourself:
Our recommendations will help you make a good impression on your interlocutors thanks to your pleasant manner of speech and ability to behave in public.
Source
Tips from professional actors
Courses in acting, the psychology of influencing people, or the psychology of business negotiations will help you master the art of competent nonverbal communication, develop the correct structure of speech and gestures when communicating, and master manners. Training in these courses and courses of a similar focus begins with mastering oneself, getting rid of pressures and complexes, studying the psychology of communication and developing the ability to understand people.
Professional actors are people who, due to their profession, constantly have to try on other people's characters and non-standard situations. An actor's bread and butter is persuasiveness, and it is achieved by deep penetration into the psychology of the character. Here are the basic rules for proper communication with people from professional actors:
- Keep your distance. It’s a rare person who feels delighted by familiarity, so don’t rush to switch to “you”, it will always be done in time. In addition, each person has a personal space (within a radius of half a meter), which can only be violated by close people.
- Smile. A smile is the surest sign of goodwill and good intentions. When you first meet, a person unconsciously evaluates you for possible danger. This assessment will directly influence his expectations. If you want him to calm down and relax in your company, smile at him.
- Maintain eye contact. Direct eye to eye contact means openness and a desire to make contact. Any communication begins with visual contact, do not neglect it.
- Watch your speech and gestures. Be neutral in everything: do not speak too loudly or too much, and avoid excessive gesticulation.
The listed criteria for proper constructive communication can help you out in any situation, even if the dialogue doesn’t go well initially. hcILCCmHrVs
Definition
The manner of communication is a multi-component image. What is it made of? From the timbre of the voice, from the ability to control one’s speech, facial expressions and gestures. The interlocutor evaluates his opponent not only on the basis of his speeches, but also on the basis of how the person behaves. In 10 minutes of personal communication with a person you can learn much more about him than in six months of correspondence. People can make a good impression with their behavior, or they can ruin their self-image. Moreover, it is not the content of speeches that plays a big role here, but their design. Sometimes it’s much more pleasant to communicate with a lovable fool than with a struggling intellectual.
Gestures
Nonverbal information plays a big role in the perception of the interlocutor; most often people pay attention to gestures. If you need to impress your interlocutor, you should learn not only to express your thoughts, but also to regulate your gestures.
Some gestures will help to win people over, knowledge of certain points will help to win people over and get to know your interlocutor more. This approach will help you quickly determine the level of interest and other important points.
In the process of communication, closed postures should be avoided, these include crossed limbs of the legs and arms. Most often, this indicates the presence of fears and reluctance to communicate; one should refrain from such a pose.
Summary
- Brand tone (or tone of voice) helps create an emotional connection with the audience, demonstrate the company's values and increase awareness.
- You need to choose your tone. Copying other brands will play a cruel joke - you will remain in their shadow.
- To choose the tone of voice, refer to the core of your brand: remember or write down your values and mission; write down what you are doing, why you are doing it, and how it helps improve the life of your target audience.
- Tonality is an attribute of a living person. To make it more realistic, create a brand persona: tell us what he would look like, what he is interested in, what his character is.
- Write down the brand characteristics and give them a detailed description. Set boundaries. For example, if a brand is fun, it should not slip into buffoonery.
- Gather as much information as possible about your audience. Create a target audience persona. You must know the client well.
- Based on the information collected, select a tone that will allow the brand persona to effectively communicate with the target audience.
- Conduct an audit and see how your current tone matches what you learned during the search for a new one.
- Include all information in the brand's tone guidelines so that employees understand how to communicate on behalf of the company. Give examples for different situations and channels.
- Do not confuse the tone of voice of a brand with the intonation of specific messages. Consider the context of communication.
- Don't be afraid to make changes in tone. You develop and change - this is a normal process. Only the core of the brand should remain unchanged: the reasons for its creation, values and mission.
Levels of Communication
Communication gives a person a new impulse, joy, pleasure, which helps a person cope with boredom, the routine of everyday life, and raises him to new levels in his professional activities. Communication is a complex, multi-level process of establishing and developing relationships between people, which represents the exchange of information, perception and understanding by a person of another person.
The first indicator is the ability to express one's thoughts
. Agree, it is very difficult to communicate with a person when he is not even able to explain what he wants. A striking life example is the communication of a person who is in a state of severe alcoholic intoxication; he, as they say, has more than enough philosophical thoughts, but the ability to express them is practically zero. Of course, this is only an extreme case. In everyday life, every sober person has the minimum necessary vocabulary.
Let's remember what almost all of us face quite often. Have you ever communicated with a person who, in order to express his own emotions, convey his impressions and simply in a conversation, does not have enough words to indicate those images and thoughts that are spinning in his head?! At the same time, some words may be repeated, and expressive pauses such as “well-uh-uh,” “um-mm,” and the like are included in the speech. Or maybe you caught yourself doing this too?? Well, then MirSovetov’s diagnosis is not a happy one: in the “expression of thought” section you have a problem. That's the problem, i.e. a small and completely surmountable obstacle. And, of course, we will tell you how to develop your abilities in this matter.
First of all, in order to learn to express thoughts smoothly and consistently, you need to have a fairly large vocabulary. The best thing that can be suggested for replenishing your vocabulary is to increase your level of reading (books, magazines, newspapers, etc. literature), while you will retain all the words that have a similar meaning, and you should learn with interest from dictionaries every new word. You will learn no less from communicating with other people, discussing various topics with them.
These exercises are especially useful if you perform them with your child from an early age (note to mothers!).
Continuing the topic of “expressing thoughts,” one cannot help but recall the difficulties that arise when the interlocutor begins to speak only to him in words that are understandable. This can be either scientific terminology or a set of jargon, often intertwined with obscene expressions - in both cases it is equally difficult to understand anything. Only if in the second case there is rather a problem with culture and education, then in the first the problem is expressed in the fact that a person uses words in his speech whose meanings are not clear to others. In such cases, you need to feel the interlocutor, see if he understands you, and, if necessary, explain the meaning of individual words. And here we come to the second “brick”, which makes up the level of communication.
The second important point is the approach to communication itself.
. The main thing here is the ability to choose words taking into account the audience in which you are now. In a sense, this is a manner, a style of communication, but not only that. It is important to understand that depending on your current environment, it is necessary to adapt not only to the appropriate style of communication, but also to use the set of words that will be appropriate and understandable in this circle of people. For example, when you are at a business meeting (even if your companions are well known to you) and among friends (even if the conversation is about work), communication will be built on different levels.
To decide whether your words are appropriate, you need to put yourself in the place of the person to whom your speech is addressed, and evaluate yourself from the outside. If it is difficult to decide whether your words will be perceived correctly and perceived in general, it is better to use phrases and expressions that are standard for a particular situation. Try going into an interview and loudly greeting the employers: “Respect!” Unless it's an acting interview, you run the risk of flying out the door right away. It would sound much more pleasant (albeit banal): “Good afternoon!”
The approach to communication is also an expression of the attitude towards the interlocutor, including the degree of interest (or indifference) in his personality.
The third, no less significant component of our communication is the pace of speech.
. Again, in many respects you have to focus on the situation. Where you have to speak relatively quickly (a characteristic feature for heated debates), somewhere, on the contrary, more slowly (when asking riddles, for example).
But in general, it is important that speech is measured and even. Even if it’s a surge of emotions or, for example, a desire to report interesting news before others, even then you need to try not to let the words fly out faster than the thoughts in your head form a coherent speech.
There is a good exercise that allows you to learn how to express your thoughts at the same pace. Try saying something while walking, not necessarily out loud, saying the same number of words for each step. The average speed of pronouncing words is two words per second, and therefore you can also try to pronounce 1-2 words per step.
In addition to the ability to clearly express one's thoughts, speech rate will also help you get rid of filler words (“well”, “in short”, “um”), which can often be heard from those people who strive to speak quickly, but at the same time do not have enough vocabulary.
And, of course, we can’t help but mention something that any communication is indispensable – a sense of humor.
. You will probably remember more than one example when, with the help of humor, it was possible to defuse a rather tense situation. Even in business circles, a well-timed joke can be quite appropriate.
So, we have figured out what the concept of “level of communication” is built from, now let’s move on to talking about what levels there are.
Usually the main mistake people make is that they do not use the level of communication that is required in a particular situation. For example, often overly well-mannered people try to speak with hooligans in a friendly and confidential manner, which, of course, cannot be done. Be tough and even impolite when necessary. Humor will be appropriate only if the personal qualities of the hooligans are not affected. Manipulative
The manipulative level can assume the guise of any other level. Manipulation can be recognized by the general unnaturalness of the situation, for example, a person, whose entire appearance is defined as a carrier of a primitive type of communication, speaks at a spiritual and confidential level. Business
The interlocutor is attentive to your personal views, tastes, he pays attention to your character and age. The goal that unites you determines your relationship - therefore this is not manipulation (however, a competent player can easily combine several levels of communication at once, based on his goals). The business level of communication in everyday life applies to people with whom it is necessary to maintain a certain distance. MirSovetov draws your attention to the fact that efficiency is also a conscious, serious perception of the interlocutor, therefore this level of communication is to some extent applicable not only in business entrepreneurial relations.
In family life, this level will allow you to avoid primitive contacts. For example, a dispute over washing dishes in a family will be resolved faster if this problem is resolved at a business level of communication.
– Don’t I get tired when I go to work every day?
– I understand you, but I also go to work every day. Let's agree that I'll wash the dishes on the weekends when I'm free. Or, if you want, we can plan a schedule and alternate between even and odd numbers. Game
A level of communication based on improvisational forms that can be frivolous, humorous, even grotesque. So, several friends, talking animatedly and exchanging jokes, do not notice how a rather long logical chain is being built. Women's coquetry is also one of the most striking examples of communication at the level of mutual play.
This level of communication is directly related to a sense of humor; it is very important for any informal relationship. For example, family relationships are unlikely to be sufficiently harmonious and constantly renewed without mutual play and humor.
It happens that people with a certain type of character and temperament use the game level in conversations that require a completely different level of communication. This does not mean at all that these people are not capable of serious action, it is simply a consequence of a certain mentality. Such people belong to the hyperthymic psychotype (cheerful, energetic people). By the way, if we are overly irritated by such optimists, maybe we should think about whether we take life too seriously? Spiritual
The name shows that this level of communication is characterized by the greatest degree of disclosure of one’s personality and immersion in the personality of the interlocutor. This level sometimes requires considerable internal effort, which not everyone is capable of. The spiritual level of communication is used by some especially close relatives and friends. Confessing to a priest, a sincere story about yourself, will certainly require a particularly deep spiritual level of communication.
A special feature of the spiritual level of communication is the unhurried pace of speech, the reason for which is a special trusting attitude towards the interlocutor, towards communication with him.
Situation: She shows Him a notebook of her school poems, and He, instead of showing interest, makes the remark: “I thought you were talking about something serious.” This pattern of behavior is fundamentally wrong. She offers Him communication on a spiritual level, but He perceives it on a primitive business level. “Hmm, you made some pretty good sonnets,” he should say, even if it’s not entirely true. Mask level
Everyone can count many masks. The interlocutor inevitably puts on a mask of friendliness, seriousness, and politeness, since sometimes it is simply psychologically impossible to invest all your mental resources and charm into communication. You should also take into account not only verbal contacts - no less often we encounter someone simply by looking at them, silently shaking someone’s hand, this also takes energy, and we protect ourselves with the help of masks (MirSovetov talked about this in more detail in the material “Nonverbal means of communication").
Note that when you give a less-than-sincere compliment, you put on a mask so as not to get hurt by your own insincerity. The concept of lying is directly related to the mask system. The level of masks also includes the concepts of “Formal level”, “Level of maintaining contact”, “Level of standard conversation” (according to Byudzhental). The formal level is characterized by maintaining a certain impression of oneself and maintaining a certain distance. The level of maintaining contact is communication between people in a more relaxed manner, communication at the level of facts and opinions. The standard conversation level is an everyday dialogue between loved ones and acquaintances.
If necessary, use masks; sometimes you should not show your true mood to your interlocutors, since any deviation from the norm may be misunderstood. Your bad mood when communicating with a client, or your overly high spirits at a wake will not be entirely appropriate. It is worth noting that constant communication in a mask often greatly interferes with the manifestations of one’s own “I”. Suppose, if it is appropriate to be polite and reserved on the street, then in communication with your beloved and friends it will even be dangerous.
In Buddhist and Taoist philosophies, the techniques of “putting on masks” are well developed, and thus the mask is a path to self-improvement - suppressing the shortcomings of one’s “I” with the help of a mask. For example, if you want to get rid of shyness, you put on the mask of a brave, decisive, even somewhat arrogant person. Communication in a critical situation
There is also a special level - communication in a critical situation. Such situations contribute to the removal of masks, more fruitful subjective contact, and joint decision-making.
Image and manner of communication
The way a person carries himself says a lot about him. When he selects or develops an image for himself, he should not lose sight of his manner of communication. For example, a girl who wants to deserve to become a significant person in a man's business must behave seriously. Flirty behavior will not give her a chance to be perceived as a business partner by her interlocutors. The image of a modern person, language, speech, manner of communication - all this is interconnected. Look at how a person behaves and you can definitely tell about his profession. After all, it is the field of activity that leaves its mark on a person. For example, a successful manager will act relaxed in any company. He will not be shy about meeting people and talking to them openly. But a person who works with documents, and not with people, may be a closed person. It will be difficult to bring such a person into dialogue.
What are the rules of etiquette
The concept comes from the French word “etiquette”, which means a set of generally accepted rules of behavior, knowledge of the basics of politeness. There are several main types of etiquette:
- the ability to present oneself: the formation of a wardrobe, grooming, physical fitness, gestures, postures, posture;
- speech form: ability to give compliments, greetings, gratitude, manner of speech;
- table etiquette: ability to eat, knowledge of serving standards, table manners;
- behavior in society: how to behave in an office, store, exhibition, museum, restaurant, theater, court;
- business etiquette: relationships with superiors, colleagues, business negotiations.
Rules of good manners for men
If a representative of the stronger sex values his reputation in society, he will always observe moderation in clothing. Shorts and T-shirts are appropriate for a family dinner or during a country vacation. For an informal setting, sports or classic clothes are suitable, and for business meetings a tie and jacket are required. As for good manners, it will not be difficult for a well-mannered man to politely nod in response to a greeting even from a stranger. How to communicate with a woman, superiors, and relatives will be discussed below.
Modern etiquette for women
The first rule for a woman is tact in all situations. Etiquette lessons involve behaving respectfully with everyone, be it your neighbor, your business partner, or your front door cleaner. If a woman likes to joke, then she should clearly determine in what situation you can allow a joke, and with whom you need to be serious. It is necessary to observe a culture of communication with the opposite sex. You should not flirt, make advances or make eyes at men you don’t know or know – this is a violation of etiquette. Politeness presupposes simple communication without intrigue, gossip and rumors.
Etiquette standards for children
Rules of behavior in society also exist for children. Future success, career, and environment will depend on the knowledge that a child receives in childhood. The simplest methods for mastering the rules of etiquette are reading fairy tales, watching cartoons, using board games on a given topic, and humming songs. The basic rule of politeness for a child is respect for all adults, children, and animals without exception. Everything else flows smoothly from this.
Manner of speech and style of speech
This concept includes the ability to communicate in the broadest sense of the word. This includes the tone of the narration, gestures, and literacy of speech, as well as the ability not only to speak, but also to listen to the interlocutor.
If a person uses filler words during a conversation and interrupts another without allowing him to finish his thought, then he is considered to have bad manners. If his speech is competent and restrained, and he skillfully controls body language, then such a person will definitely make a good impression.
The concept of “communication manners” includes:
Communication manners vary: from dismissive or playful to serious and embittered. All of them, one way or another, are inextricably linked with the concept of “style”.
The emotional atmosphere, as well as the correct means of speech chosen to convey information, depend on it. There are some techniques that characterize the conversational style:
These are examples of using good speech techniques to arouse keen interest in the interlocutor. But here it is important not to forget about voice, intonation, diction (don’t swallow words), tonality.
Due to these components, expressiveness of speech is achieved. Facial expressions and gestures play an important role; they are an integral element of communication.
Business communication manners
What kind of person do you think is serious? Such persons have a good understanding of the correct manners of communication. A person who wants to be taken seriously will try to appear serious. His gestures will be open, but at the same time his gaze and voice will be tough and authoritative. In this way, the person will express his self-confidence. A person who wants to succeed in the business world must be able to maintain composure in any situation and not succumb to all kinds of provocations. The communication manners of a business person come down to friendliness, frankness, open gestures, confident movements and authoritative intonation. Communicating with such a person will be pleasant, but at the same time scary. It will seem to the interlocutor that his opponent is taller and stronger. Moreover, a business person should inspire this on a subconscious level, and on a conscious level, the conversation should be easy and pleasant.
Basics of social etiquette
Weddings. Children's matinees. Funeral. Parties. They all have their own rules, but who can remember them all?
Luckily, it's pretty easy. The etiquette of communication between ladies and gentlemen invited to participate in special events boils down to the following distinctive features:
1. Know what to expect
Each event will have its own rules. Take some time to study them.
2. Carry some cash with you
Facial expressions and gestures
How does a person convey information to the interlocutor? He conveys some part verbally, and another part non-verbally. Facial expressions and gestures sometimes speak more eloquently than words. The manners of communicating with people can be developed consciously. Of course, at first it will be difficult to control nonverbal signals. But over time, you can train your gestures. For example, when you communicate with people you don’t know, on a subconscious level you want to close yourself off from them. But don’t follow your body’s lead, don’t cross your arms or legs. Take open poses. Thanks to this simple trick, you will feel relaxed, and your interlocutors will perceive you as a confident and sociable person. If something amazes you in your opponent’s opinion, you don’t need to paint it on your face. Vivid facial expressions are appropriate when talking with friends, but not when communicating among unfamiliar people. Some individuals may perceive your dumbfounded appearance as disagreement with their position in life.
How to introduce people
There are formal rules about how people should be introduced. There are situations where you certainly must do this with utmost care. More generally, in an ordinary everyday situation or at work, if there is any doubt that someone does not know someone, you should introduce people to each other in the simplest way possible. Of course, you can say more if you want. You can also immediately continue on your way, but you still have to introduce yourself. It is considered very bad form to force your friends to listen to your conversation with someone else without even introducing them to each other.
All this is even more important when it comes to social events. Many people who are otherwise polite and reasonable do a poor job of this task. They believe that introducing people to each other is not their business. Either they are too shy, or they assume that everyone already knows each other; or find it too formal and tedious to introduce everyone by name. However, presentation is so important to the flow of conversation that it doesn't matter who does it. You may introduce your brother and sister to each other by mistake, but remember: it is better to introduce people you already know to each other than not to introduce them at all. Don't assume that everyone already knows each other. This is another example of underestimating one’s own importance: at some public event. You may know virtually no one, but others may know even fewer there. Then you can become a link between the two groups, and it is your responsibility to introduce them.
Person's character
How much can you learn about the person in front of you? Communication manners will introduce your interlocutor to you much better than he can do it himself. If a person speaks loudly, smiles at the same time and is not afraid to ask awkward questions, it means that in front of you is an easy-going person who has a courageous character and a cheerful disposition. A person who speaks in a low voice and looks at the ground is an insecure person who is clearly uncomfortable in your company. A person who speaks loudly and does not give you the opportunity to speak is a power-hungry person with leadership habits.
Personal habits
There is a general consensus that certain manners and habits are inappropriate. This point of view of people should be taken into account, even if you yourself do not share it. The rules include the following:
- Use your hand to cover your mouth when you cough or yawn.
- Use a tissue when you sneeze, or cover your nose with your hand if you don't have time to do otherwise. Don't pick your nose or sniffle.
- Don't itch or pick anything out from under your nails - such actions create a repulsive impression.
The main idea: you should not do anything that is unpleasant to the people who are forced to watch it.
Proper communication with a man
If in the case of girls it is possible and necessary to show interest from the first minutes of communication, then when communicating with guys, restraint has never harmed anyone. This does not mean that you need to put on a stone face and look at one point. You just have to remember who is the stronger sex here, and in whose hands the initiative should be. A woman should be easy to communicate with a man - this is attractive. Many girls are prone to constant expression of attention, but hourly calls, SMS, letters, invitations to meet and everything else in quantities that clearly exceed the norm, work against them. A guy under such pressure will feel squeezed into a corner and will quickly find a way to get rid of an overly intrusive girlfriend.
Always leave room for a man to take initiative and act only against its background.
If you need to come to an agreement with a guy or get what you want from him, remember that in most cases it is better to act directly. Men's psychology is very different from women's: men are simpler, more decisive and less susceptible to long-term doubts. When making decisions, a man is guided by common sense and logic, unlike a woman, who more often relies on intuition and is dependent on her mood. In other words, where a woman has to be persuaded, a man will only need to be convinced with compelling arguments.
Purpose of communication
Why do people talk and how does it affect the way they communicate? By the way your opponent presents himself to you, you can understand the goal that he wants to achieve through dialogue. If a guy speaks in a polite, flirtatious tone with a girl, then he wants to establish a closer acquaintance with her. If a person talks to you in a businesslike tone, it means that he simply needs to find out some information from you. A person who jokes with you may have several goals: to rise at your expense in the company, to make people laugh, or to cheer you up. Of course, the purpose of communication must be considered in a specific context and understand how familiar the opponents are.
Getting to know each other: introducing people to each other
There are situations in which formalities are unnecessary. There are also those in which you need to represent your interlocutors according to all the rules. In any case, if you have any doubts that people are strangers, you should definitely introduce them to each other. Just by name or with a more detailed representation - depends on the situation. Talking to someone in the company of another person to whom you are not introduced is considered bad manners.
Remember an important rule: it is better to overdo it than to seem downright impolite. So, for example, in the worst case scenario, you will once again introduce people to each other who already know each other
But this is much less critical than not presenting them at all.
