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This article is for those people who have finally come to their senses and decided to work on their character. As the author of this article, I myself am forced to work on this problem, since I, too, am often rude and irritable. Let's talk about how to get rid of rudeness and irritability . I will tell you how I reduced the level of my rudeness, thereby improving my relationships with others. Read carefully, it will be interesting.
Where does rudeness in people come from?
Individuals who are rude often regret their words, but there is no going back. Relationships are damaged, reputations are tarnished. But why does a person break down? There are reasons behind all this, and in order to understand how to stop being rude to people, you first need to understand yourself.
If a person has complaints about others, most likely, this is due to the fact that he also has such complaints about himself. In general, this negatively reflects on character and behavior. A person has a negative attitude, and such an attitude attracts difficulties in life. Perhaps in order to understand how to stop being rude, you need to delve into yourself and your grievances. You should forgive the offenders, let go of all negative feelings and love yourself. Then it will be easier, self-esteem will grow every day, and with it the desire to lose control will disappear.
Women's rudeness is extremely intimidating. A woman by nature is born to be gentle, affectionate and feminine. But today you can often see a representative of the fairer sex who is angry and rude in communication. You can overcome rudeness and understand for yourself how to stop being rude and harsh.
Awareness of the problem of irritation within yourself
If you often experience anger and irritation, seemingly out of the blue, try asking yourself a few questions:
- Is it the person's fault that you are irritated? Perhaps the interlocutor simply cannot formulate his thought correctly and does not want to upset you at all. Try to listen and understand what the person who you think has offended you wants to convey to you. This is better than immediately breaking down and taking communication in a negative direction.
- Doesn't the reason lie with you? Increased irritability can be a defensive reaction if you are very insecure.
- What do you want from the conversation? Do you like it when people yell and get angry in response? Because this is exactly the reaction your interlocutor will have to your irritation: negativity begets negativity. Do you want this?
The best ways to be calm and not nervous in any situation
How not to be rude to people?
In order to remain patient and not lose your temper over trifles, you need to master a few simple techniques.
- Tolerance. Everyone has a turmoil inside sometimes, and the world is not perfect. To stop in time, you need to understand your emotions and when they already overwhelm you, be patient. Yes, it is true that people are not perfect, but no one has yet canceled working on themselves. If you objectively assess the situation and try to keep everything under control, this is almost a success.
- A smile is the most beautiful thing a person can radiate. Try to think about the good more often, exactly what makes you smile. Remember pets, children, relatives, moments of happiness, and smile. Look around more often, notice the details: they, like beads strung on a thread of positivity, can awaken the warmest feelings in you.
- Discharge. Accumulated negative emotions and aggression lead to an imbalance of emotional balance, and as a result – to deterioration of health. Think about what will help you throw out the accumulated experiences. This could be sports training in the gym, swimming, perhaps drawing or embroidery will suit someone.
- Use this exercise: when you want to say something rude, imagine that you are mute and cannot speak, clench your teeth so as not to open your mouth. At this moment, count to 10, during which time the wave of aggression may pass and you will avoid an unpleasant situation.
- Learn to love the people around you, respect their position and point of view, even if it differs from yours. All people are different and have their own views on certain situations. A well-mannered person is above any emotional difficulties and will always show respect for others.
Our environment and society directly influence the formation of character. If a woman is mostly surrounded by men whose upbringing is not at the highest level, then her communication skills may soon drop to their level. How to learn not to be rude when there is provocation everywhere? In these situations, it is very important not to be led by circumstances, but by all means to remain calm and remain feminine and wise. It is necessary to read books more often that tell you how to stop being rude in communication, engage in your own development and remember that men love soft and flexible people.
Reasons for boorish behavior
Boorish behavior can have a great variety of reasons, ranging from bad mood to mental disorders. In order to choose the most effective method of communicating with such individuals, it is necessary to navigate the very nature of this type of behavior.
The main factors influencing boorish behavior include:
Bad feeling. The most common reason for rudeness can rightfully be considered a poor emotional or physical state. If a person feels anger, strong resentment, fatigue or pain, then in a fit of emotion he can lash out even at the person closest to him. Yes, of course, after some time he will apologize, but there will still be a residue.- The desire to assert oneself. One of the most common reasons for rudeness is the thirst for a sense of superiority. Insecure and complex people try to rise above another person by humiliating him. They believe that by insulting their interlocutor, they prove that they are smarter, stronger and generally better in all aspects. But such behavior shows his significance only in his eyes, while those around him perceive such “concerts” as proof of worthlessness and inferiority.
- The desire to attract attention can also be the cause of rudeness. If a person is nothing of himself and cannot win over others in other ways, then he may resort to insults. It doesn’t matter to him how exactly he will be treated, the main thing is to attract attention.
- Character traits. It also happens that rudeness is part of nature. The most predisposed to this model of behavior are authoritarian and straightforward people who are used to teaching others, not paying attention to the fact that their criticism can seriously hurt.
- Method of manipulation. Sometimes rudeness and shamelessness can play the role of manipulation tools. By building their communication with others through the prism of strength, superiority and intolerance, some people manage to realize their selfish goals.
- Energy vampirism can be considered a very popular cause of rudeness. Some emotionally damaged people use arrogance to make up for the lack of vivid feelings and emotions. In this case, the humiliation process itself is not important to Ham, what is important to him is the result itself, namely: to throw the opponent out of his mental balance and get the opportunity to enjoy his moral suffering.
Important
Rudeness is like an avalanche. If you do not have sufficient knowledge and skills, you will never be able to prevent such behavior and react correctly to it.
Child-parent relationships
How to stop being rude to loved ones is an eternal question in the relationship between children and parents. Maybe you have caught yourself thinking that you are often rude to your parents? Why does this happen and how not to be rude to parents? To answer all the questions, you need to understand yourself and find the origins of the problem. If you feel irritated towards your loved ones and cannot tell them that you love them, it means that somewhere inside you there is resentment.
The first thing you should think about is: you are no longer a child, and it’s time to leave all the grievances behind. Adults and serious people can sit down at the negotiating table and discuss all the omissions from the past. Afterwards, a new stage in life will begin in harmony and love, with support and strong support in the form of strong family values. After all, who, if not relatives, are the people closest to you?
How to stop being rude to strangers
The number of defeats and failures sometimes provoke those storms of aggression. But civilization passed on culture from generation to generation and formed the framework of education. You obviously had cases when you were the victim of aggression. Remember the grumbling of store, transport or hospital employees? How did you feel in those moments? Resentment, feeling of injustice, etc. But any dispute or conflict can be resolved peacefully and calmly by discussing the problematic aspects.
You always want to repay rudeness in kind, but look at the rude person from the outside, is it really beautiful? And also think about the reasons for rudeness. A happy person will not do this. That is, as a rule, those who are rude are unhappy people whose own lives have not worked out and cause grief and irritation, and they are unable to control them. These people spoil the mood and life not only of themselves, but also of those around them.
Often the causes of an unbalanced state can be not only fatigue and irritability, but also psychological disorders. Every day people have to experience worries and stress. Negative emotions tend to accumulate. Therefore, we need to understand that irritants live inside us, like skeletons in the closet.
When you can find the reason for your aggression in yourself, the first thing you need to do is be with yourself - think about your disappointments, unfulfilled dreams, accept and let go of everything.
Becoming happier is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance. Then the question “How not to be rude to everyone” will simply not arise in your mind. Harmony from within will illuminate your path through life, in which there will simply be no place left for boorish people and abusers.
A person who has a dream, goal, interests, desire to develop will always experience satisfaction and happiness. Such an individual will no longer lash out at others and discuss them. Harmony inside gives birth to peace and love outside.
What to do if you want?
How sometimes you want to send someone in a certain direction! Sometimes there is a desire to provide a trip there to a whole group of people. But is it worth doing? By starting a conflict, you will only take away your time, and over the years, time becomes less and less; you don’t want to waste it on arguments on the Internet or at the cash register. Don't forget that there is only one step from insult to a broken nose. And it doesn’t matter whose nose gets hurt, the consequences can be sad for both word athletes. Have you forgotten that we have a rule of law? Unfortunately, the example of Kokorin and Mamaev is still widely heard.
There is no universal advice: whether to make a scandal, defend your point of view or not. You just need to understand the possible risks, damage to your time and mood. Some people actually enjoy it—a kind of relaxation after a busy day. But you better think that after several such incidents, the children in your yard will begin to look at you as an always scandalous neighbor. This was once in your yard when you were little. For some reason his face was always red. Do you remember him?
Additional factors provoking aggression
Anything can happen in life, and if the situation has reached a dead end and you just can’t stop yourself, it’s still better to turn to a qualified psychologist. It will help you overcome the black streak and get out of the zone of ignorance.
Another reason for irritation can be expectations, or rather, inflated expectations. You imagined the situation in your own way, in your head there is already a scenario of how everything should happen, but these events do not depend on you and do not develop at all the way you want them. In principle, they should not follow exactly your script. Don't demand too much from the world and it will keep you calm.
Fatigue is the most inveterate provocateur of irritability. The ability to control your emotions directly depends on the state of your nervous system. If for a long time there was no opportunity to relax, get distracted, or simply be alone with yourself, the consequences can be sad. Even the calmest people, whom no one has ever noticed, sometimes break down under the pressure of fatigue.
To prevent such situations from happening, always distinguish between work and rest. Find time for your family, walks with friends in nature, going to the cinema, doing what you love and doing sports. All this is the key to your good mood.
