The birth of children makes big adjustments to every family. A new mother and father must learn to live together in a new way, because now there are not two of them, but three, and they bear great responsibility for their child. It’s wonderful when a baby grows up surrounded by family, surrounded by love and care.
You should know that during pregnancy a woman’s hormonal levels change, and the expectant mother begins to look at things differently. Now, the center of her universe is a baby who is completely dependent on her. She intends to give this tiny creature all the love she can. Often, a young mother says a phrase that seemed unthinkable to her nine months ago: “I stopped loving him after the birth of the child.”
Young parents face new challenges that never existed before. The two of them have to resolve very important issues together, and conflicts arise between partners due to fatigue and stress. There is no longer an opportunity to spend time alone, to enjoy each other's company. There is a third person who requires constant attention.
Overwork, lack of sleep, fatigue, personal worries - this seems like nothing until the baby is born. Often, if the baby is the first, the woman is not ready for such resonant changes in her life, and lashes out at her chosen one over any trifle.
Reasons for disagreements between spouses
Psychologists and family relations specialists assure that this period must be survived. There are only three ways out of this situation: the connection becomes stronger, it breaks down altogether, or the spouses lose their former passion and simply continue to live side by side. It all depends on the level of trust, love, feelings, satisfaction and affection even before the arrival of a new family member. The first weeks of joy are consumed by everyday problems that are difficult to overcome on your own.
Why does it happen that wives no longer have warm feelings for their chosen ones:
- constant fatigue and lack of sleep;
- lack of confidence in your appearance after pregnancy;
- postpartum depression;
- the spouse is busy at work and inactive in household chores;
- avoidance of participation by the father in raising the baby;
- decreased libido, etc.
If after childbirth your relationship with your husband has deteriorated, it means that the troubles that have arisen should be resolved calmly, with a sober, rested head. There’s no need to act recklessly, because you might regret what you did later. We must fight for our loved ones. If you cannot overcome difficulties on your own, you should contact a specialist.
The wife has completely turned into a mommy
Of course, many women are overwhelmed by motherhood. You want to surround your baby with affection, call him funny nicknames, like pie, bun or candy.
Problems in the sexual life of spouses begin when the wife cannot switch from mommy to wife and continues to behave with her husband like a child. It is quite understandable that he gets tired of this kindergarten pretty quickly.
But such women are often sincerely perplexed: “Why did my husband lose interest in me after giving birth?” He wants to feel like a man, the head of the family, and not just another child.
Fatigue as a reason for constant quarrels
When we are tired, our stress resistance suffers greatly. Irritation becomes a constant companion, and even the most ordinary things can cause an exaggerated reaction. Chronic lack of sleep turns life into an endless series of identical days. The colors around are darkening, there are only a number of responsibilities and worries that must be performed day after day. This can develop into postpartum depression, which will make the life of the household unbearable.
There is not enough time that you want to devote to yourself, there is no opportunity to spend an hour or two with friends, frequent mood changes, you constantly want to close your eyes for a few minutes and lie down in complete silence. If at this moment the parent does not have a strong shoulder nearby or a helping hand in the form of her own chosen one, then she begins to look for shortcomings in him, to be offended by the slightest mistakes.
Read also: Intimate life after childbirth: why does it hurt to sleep with your husband?
The only joy is the support and help of loved ones. At such moments, great efforts must be made so that the mother can be left to herself for at least some time. You should get enough sleep at least sometimes, spend time as before: read a book, watch a movie, go to a cafe, paint your nails, in the end. Dad must take on the responsibilities of caring for the baby at least once a week, otherwise conflicts will develop into everyday life and become commonplace.
If a young father spends most of the day at work and cannot find a day or two to look after the baby, then one should not neglect the help of grandparents. This will help both parents relax and spend a long-awaited day off alone.
Time for relaxation must be in the schedule so that the woman knows that just a little more and she can relax.
Solving problems depending on their nature
Now we should look at all the possible causes of a young mother’s nervous state and give some advice for resolving them.
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Postpartum depression
Postpartum depression can cause hatred not only towards the husband, but also towards the child. Experts talk about postpartum depression as a depressed state in the first maximum 1.5 years from the birth of the baby. However, postpartum depression can smoothly turn into protracted ordinary depression if treatment is not started in time. Postpartum depression is a depressed state with periodic outbursts of emotions - they can manifest themselves in both uncontrollable and abnormal laughter and tears. You can offend a young mother during postpartum depression with just one word. If a woman does not show her emotions and sincerely cannot share her experiences with loved ones, the condition develops into a nervous disorder that requires drug treatment.
This is important: Postpartum depression is often treated not by psychologists, but by gynecologists, who, based on the results of the examination, prescribe hormonal therapy. It is important for a woman to restore her hormonal levels as soon as possible after childbirth, since it is fraught with similar consequences.
Attitude towards the baby
Quite often, a young mother is enraged by her husband after the birth of a child due to stupidity and lack of timely help. For example, the baby began to scream heart-rendingly, and at this time the mother was preparing dinner in the kitchen - the father was sitting with the child. Imagine the mother’s surprise when the husband brings the child into the mother’s arms after just a few seconds of crying. Often a woman perceives this as a lack of help from her husband - a person who should not only support her, but also perform childcare responsibilities on the same level with her. The young mother does not understand that this cannot happen physiologically - this is how nature works. A woman, having carried a baby for 9 months, already has certain feelings for him. Seeing the baby immediately after birth, the young mother begins to experience the maternal instinct with particular force. This does not happen in men - and this is not their character trait - this is what nature came up with.
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From the very beginning, the man was the breadwinner and breadwinner of the family, so there are no turning points in his mind. Seeing the baby for the first time, a man experiences only joy and a greater sense of responsibility - now he needs to provide the baby with everything he needs. Therefore, when dad is left alone with the child, while crying he “falls” into a stupor - he does not know what to do with him! Women can see for themselves that they are helpless - ask your husband to calm the baby down on his own. After a few minutes of heart-rending screaming, there will be no improvement, but the baby immediately calms down in his mother’s arms. This is explained by the close emotional connection between the child and the mother. In addition, babies smell their mother constantly - during games, sleeping together, feeding. Dad spends most of his time outside the home, earning money. As a result, the baby feels safe only in the arms of his mother - it is she who constantly protects him from hunger and a wet diaper.
Practical advice: Do not expect from your husband the same feelings that you had at the time of the birth of your baby. Men also develop a paternal instinct, but at the time of birth it manifests itself only in matters of financial security. Gradually you will notice other manifestations of fatherly feelings.
Difficulties in everyday life
If a woman hates her husband only because of the lack of help in the home and caring for the child, the matter is not so terrible and can be corrected. Of course, if only the young mother calmly discusses all issues with the child’s father. Firstly, you need to calmly and in detail explain to your husband how difficult it is to simultaneously care for a child and not get enough sleep, as well as keep the house clean and tidy. Secondly, offer him a small division of labor - household responsibilities.
Here we can distinguish three options for further events:
- If your husband is afraid to be alone with the child, offer him help in cleaning the house. For example, buying groceries, vacuuming, taking out the garbage and other tasks can be shifted to the husband’s shoulders.
- The second option involves partially replacing the mother with the father - let the husband spend a little more time with the child. For example, he goes for walks with him, spends time with him in the evenings, and gets up with the child at least once a night. Thus, the woman rests more, and the father’s emotional connection with the baby grows faster - the young mother ceases to hate her husband due to his distinctive attitude.
- The third option is to hire an au pair or nanny. Mom has a significant increase in time for rest, which is why she begins to devote more time to herself and her husband, which is why she stops hating him. A grandmother can also act as an assistant, but this must be voluntary and without excess.
Practical advice: If your husband begins to enrage and irritate you only because of the lack of help with housework, you should reconsider your obligations. Make a list of necessary tasks and trust your husband to fulfill certain obligations around the house.
The woman is a sole worker
There is a term in psychology as “sole woman” - this is not an insult, but just a term used in psychology and characterizing the opinion and state of a woman in relation to a man and her own baby. Thus, a woman stops “allowing” a man to raise their common child. At this time, the young mother believes that she is the one who is allowed to participate in the care and upbringing of the baby, because she carried him, went through the hardships of childbirth and did not get enough sleep at night. Now she does not allow her husband or close relatives to raise her, believing that only she should make all decisions. Such an attitude towards the baby gradually leads to disagreements between spouses. The woman believes that the man does not devote enough time to the baby, and, therefore, cannot know exactly what he is interested in, what he loves and how best to play with him. In such a situation, the husband gradually begins to be hated for two reasons.
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The first is the lack of proper participation, not understanding that the young mother herself does not allow the father. The second reason is the hateful bickering of the husband, who simply wants to prevent his wife from making one or another decision.
Practical advice: Do not abuse your “right” to the baby, since both your beloved man and close relatives have the right to advise you on solutions to certain problems. You and your husband will make decisions, because this is your common child who loves you equally.
General Tips
When a woman is faced with the question of what to do if her husband is annoying after childbirth, she should resort to the following methods:
- Never say the words “I hate” and “I don’t love” to your husband. Don't even say them mentally, as this emotionally prepares you for such feelings.
- Talk to your husband more - men are also concerned about their wife’s inappropriate behavior.
- Determine for yourself why you began to hate your husband - often this is not the case, you just cannot find the time to show your old feelings.
- Try to speak kind words to your husband - not only women love with their ears, but also men are not averse to listening to “praises” about love.
- At least once a week, find time to spend with your husband - even if it’s only an hour and with the baby in the next room. It is important to stay alone with him and just talk about the good things that happened before and are happening now.
- Tell your significant other that you value him and are afraid of losing him - then the man begins to feel like a protector of the family, his self-esteem improves, he even begins to help his wife with the housework.
Irritation with each other in men and women can occur regardless of the birth of the baby. And if you could cope with these emotions before, it means that now you will get out of this situation with dignity. It is only important to realize for yourself that you are simply tired, and have not begun to hate your husband - your loved one, the father of your child. Postpartum relationships change somewhat, but feelings should not fade away - you should only become closer, because you now have a common baby, the fruit of your love.
Disadvantages of the figure after pregnancy
The metamorphoses that occur in the body of a pregnant woman will remind of themselves for a long time even after delivery. A distended belly, with telltale red or white stripes, can rarely please a representative of the fair sex. She begins to experience a lot of inconvenience, ranging from ordinary embarrassment to an obsessive complex. Especially when the husband makes caustic remarks about appearance after giving birth.
The young mother begins to feel scary; it seems that her husband no longer looks at her as before. Against the backdrop of fatigue, the parent cannot intelligently approach this issue and determine for herself a further course of action. After the birth of a child, mistrust begins to appear in the husband. What if he finds someone more beautiful? This often leads to quarrels. And while the spouses should be enjoying their cozy nest, they spend time sorting things out.
It is worth noting that people are individual, and for some, stretch marks may be more noticeable than for others. It depends on the elasticity of the skin and its ability to recover. And if this problem becomes obsessive, you can try to eliminate this cosmetic defect. There are a number of procedures that will help hide stripes on the skin:
- chemical and laser peeling;
- massage;
- wraps;
- plastic surgery, etc.
A saggy and distended belly can be eliminated at home, the main thing is not to waste time and start on time. In the first time after childbirth, sports are contraindicated. Then a bandage comes to the rescue, which is put on almost immediately. It is selected exactly to size and worn for several months for 8-12 hours, and removed at night or for a couple of hours a day. Then special physical exercises for new mothers come into force.
Do not forget that a bulging belly and stretched muscles are the norm.
The spouse must understand what his companion has gone through and not put pressure on her.
Attitude towards the baby
The attitude of mother and father towards a newborn baby is very different. Mom can check every minute whether the baby is sleeping, whether he is wet, and whether his breathing is even. She tries to take him in her arms more often and spend as much time with him as possible. Therefore, she is annoyed and offended by the lack of attention to the baby from her husband.
The man does not immediately realize the fact that he has become a father. Or rather, he, of course, understands that now he has more responsibilities and additional responsibility, but new emotions come to him later. At first, many men are generally afraid to approach a newborn child, and even more so, to touch him and pick him up, so as not to cause pain or injure the baby. And even more so, they don’t know how and what they can do to calm a roaring lump when it lacks something.
A crying baby drives many dads into a state of stupor. And then the new father finds nothing better than to simply give the crying child to the mother. This causes a storm of indignation in a woman. She thinks “I hate it when, instead of helping, my husband again offers to do everything herself.”
At the same time, the mother does not understand that only between her and the child there is a very close emotional connection, which is not yet available between the baby and his father.
It is in mother’s arms that the baby will calm down most quickly and fall asleep under mother’s breast. The development of the psycho-emotional connection between father and child can take from several weeks to six months. Then the man will also begin to understand the desires and needs of the newborn, learn how to swaddle him correctly, and develop his own secrets for lulling the baby to sleep. The older the child gets, the closer his connection with his father will be.
Lack of spousal help
When people have children, the responsibility for raising them most often falls on the shoulders of the mother. From that moment on, she is haunted by a consuming fear that she will not cope, that she will not be able to become perfect. The chosen one does not participate in caring for the baby at all, or does it at the request of a million. Then the woman realizes that her husband has begun to irritate her.
Not everyone can cope on their own, especially when before this the parent only cared for herself.
Lack of support from a strong side threatens serious problems in the family.
During this difficult period, a loved one should become a reliable support and support. We conceived a child together, which means we need to raise it together. Mom must understand that she is not alone, she has someone to turn to and this person will definitely help.
Read also How long after giving birth can you have an intimate life?
Naturally, the breadwinner earns money, thereby getting tired at work. But the wife doesn’t sit idle all day. Both get tired, but that’s what family is for, to complement each other, to be together in sorrow and in joy.
There is a list of actions that can lead to discord. The stronger half of humanity should not practice:
- categorical refusal to help;
- reproaches;
- avoiding conversations;
- comparison with other mothers;
- coercion for intimacy.
These actions can lead to hostility and further divorce.
Playing the victim
I think you know how it goes. You meet your husband from work looking busy and exhausted. So that you immediately understand how hard it is for you. You do everything for everyone else and get angry that they don’t help, don’t appreciate, and don’t even notice. You set yourself a high bar and heroically try to meet it.
Why are we doing this? To feel important. And to be sorry. So that, again, our contribution to the family and the fact that it is not easy for us is recognized. When we lack recognition, understanding, and help, we often tend to put on a pained expression on our face and walk around the house with silent reproach.
But when one in a pair is a victim, then the second is automatically a tyrant, a tormentor. And every person in his close relationships wants to be good.
And, what is especially offensive, although the position of the victim has certain benefits, it does not give us what we need and want: recognition and care. And it destroys ease in relationships, laughter and humor. How was it at Prostokvashino? “Flowers usually wither in those houses where the atmosphere is very strict.” Love too.
The first step to correction: take responsibility for everything you do and don't do. For everything that is and is not in your life. It doesn't sound like much fun, but it's the only way to get out of the victim position. It is your choice to give birth to a child and do for him, for your husband, for the home everything that you do.
Low libido or how to get your former passion back
Often, when the second ladle demands intimacy, the woman is not ready for it. The wife sees herself not as attractive as before. Her body has undergone major changes and has not yet returned to its former form. She gets so tired that even thinking about sex tires her. These factors can affect the relationship with the spouse when he persistently demands his own and refuses to understand his wife’s condition.
It is worth knowing that during breastfeeding the female body produces
the hormone prolactin, which is responsible for the absence of menstruation during lactation and more often leads to frigidity.
After the mother stops breastfeeding, the cycle returns to normal and the desire for intimacy returns.
The most important thing that a spouse must understand is that you cannot put pressure, insult, compare or humiliate a young mother. Even if it is presented in a comic form. A woman's emotional background after pregnancy is very unstable. Any barb can be taken very seriously, which is why the wife develops an aversion to her husband.
It’s not for nothing that doctors recommend resuming sexual intercourse no earlier than after 2 months. And then only if the birth process went without complications.
The psychological aspect also affects low libido. The mother is afraid to have intimacy because she does not want to feel pain, because even with a successful delivery, the uterus is very sensitive. The chosen one puts pressure on her, and thus they move away.
If a wife has lost interest in her husband after giving birth, it’s not time to panic! This is a normal phenomenon that most couples experience. You need to resume caresses gradually, not all at once. Actions should be unobtrusive and careful.
Getting stuck in the role of doer of duties
In this state we try to be a good, proper wife. Our entire inner life revolves around what we should do and how well we do it. And we involuntarily reduce relationships to this - to the performance of duties.
We also see in our man mainly the performer of the duties of a husband. Rarely a good performer, more often than not a mediocre or, frankly speaking, useless performer.
A woman knows very well what a husband should be like. For example, a good husband will repair household appliances and other breakdowns as soon as you ask him to. Knows what to do with a child of any age. Prefers communication with children to the sofa and computer. And, of course, he puts his dirty socks straight into the laundry basket. The real man usually falls short of the right performer. Especially in the part that the wife’s father successfully handled.
It is interesting that a woman in this state is sure that she knows her husband “like a nut,” that everything has already been discussed and is clear about him. At the same time, in fact, he understands very little what is happening now in his inner life. And he doesn’t even understand that he understands little. A little confusing, but you get the idea, right?
But he no longer sees the real person, going through his own path and his lessons, living his inner life in all human complexity, his beloved. As one of my clients said, “I always forget that it’s not Vasya who is the husband, but the husband is Vasya.”
The first step to correction: before telling your husband about the accumulated household chores, find out from him how he is - how he is, what’s in his soul.
Expert advice
If after childbirth your husband is annoying, first of all you should admit to yourself that there is a problem. Accept it and then direct efforts to eradicate it. Psychologists recommend talking. Always and about everything. There is no need to drag things out, accumulate grievances, and then throw them out on your chosen one, because this will only make things worse.
It is important to understand and respect each other, to be united.
Then issues will be resolved much faster and easier.
Experts advise adhering to some rules to successfully overcome difficulties that arise during the postpartum period:
1. First of all, you need to rest. It's important to look for ways to make both partners feel good. If grandparents are willing to help, don't refuse. The faster the female body recovers, the faster the period dangerous for the relationship will pass.
Read also: What vitamins are best for breastfeeding and non-breastfeeding women to take after childbirth?
2. Talk about your love. Always remind them how much you appreciate each other and how good you are together. Mutual praise and compliments are important.
3. Under no circumstances should spouses use the following words and phrases: “I hate you”, “I don’t love you anymore”, “you used to be more beautiful”, “you’re a bad mother”, “you’re not coping well with your responsibilities”, “I work all day, and you do nothing,” “but my mother does it differently,” etc. This will definitely provoke a scandal, which can even lead to divorce. It is necessary to control yourself, no matter how difficult it is to remain silent.
4. Don't compromise your figure. The sooner you take the path of correcting it, the faster self-confidence will appear and your love for your body will increase. It's not time to have complexes, it's time to act. If you approach this task wisely, you can recover in the shortest possible time.
5. Distribute responsibilities among yourself. This will make it much easier for both of you. There will be no quarrels over unwashed dishes, an unpolished mirror, or an unwalked dog. Who will put the baby to bed today, and who tomorrow. The father should not refuse this, because these are his concerns too.
6. Spend time alone, at least one evening a week. Talk about good things, about plans, about everything. Hug.
7. Go out for a walk together, change the environment. Go with the three of you to friends or visit your parents.
8. Eat right. Vitamins and microelements contained in healthy foods will help you regain strength faster.
If the wife is still disappointed in her husband after the birth of the baby, it is necessary to bring her to an honest conversation. Discuss the relationship, come to some conclusion. You need to fight for your family, because you have a small child in your arms, he needs his dad and mom.
Adjacent to the “children’s camp”
Do you say “we” and “he” when referring to you and your children and your husband?
I hear this very often: “Dad doesn’t like to go out with us,” “My husband is not interested in our life.” When a woman perceives her family like this: there is me with the children and there is a husband, then the man feels excluded from the relationship and unnecessary. He comes home - his wife and children have their own lives, it’s like he’s superfluous. And he usually doesn’t resist for long - he goes into his gadgets or is increasingly physically absent: he stays late at work, drinks beer with friends, and so on. A much healthier division into “camps”: parents and children. My husband and I and they (he).
Yes, it’s easier not to fall into this trap than to get out of it. It’s especially addictive if there are children with a small age difference. The solution is to first deliberately create situations in which adults are on one side and children are on the other.
The first step to correction: when your husband comes home from work, make your communication with him a priority. A baby is usually no obstacle to this. An older child can (oh horror!) turn on cartoons for half an hour. And if children interrupt your conversation, say: “Mom and dad are talking. Do you have something urgent?”
Conclusion
Before making any drastic decisions, you need to think about the consequences they may lead to. It is important to weigh everything with a fresh mind, impartially. Remember that your spouse also has feelings, and they also need to be taken care of if you love this person.
With the birth of a new family member, everything becomes more complicated and moves to a new level. You cannot take away a child’s parents, if there is an opportunity to raise him in a complete family, you need to hold on to this chance more strongly. Not everyone manages to carry love for their spouse throughout their entire lives. This requires a lot of effort. It is necessary to work on your relationships every day, try to strengthen them.
Young fathers should be more sensitive to their loved ones at this difficult moment for them. To pass this test hand in hand and fall in love even more - isn’t this happiness?
Divorce is the very last thing you can resort to. Be 100% confident in your decision. If you cannot solve the problems yourself, contact a specialist. A psychologist will help you understand yourself, speak out, and find the right words.
If your husband gets angry after the birth of a child, this is not a death sentence. You need to follow the advice of professionals and look for compromises. Try, because you can find a way out of any situation.
“I don’t love my husband”: what to do and how to live on?
The advice of a psychologist will help you cope with the problem, but first of all you need to try to figure out the problem yourself. Perhaps the love has not gone anywhere, the woman is simply tired or many problems have been added that are difficult to cope with.
If the euphoria has passed, this is not a reason to leave your husband forever. Love has many stages to go through. If suddenly something starts to irritate you or you don’t like about your spouse, this is not a reason to leave. Likewise, you should not rush to break up if you find that your views on certain things do not coincide. Disagreements are inevitable and conflicts need to be worked through. Your task is to go through conflicts and reach a positive wave. True love can overcome many difficulties and problems. But you can always come up with something to try to improve the relationship. How to love your husband if you don't?
When it seems to you that you have stopped loving your husband and the time has come to leave, take your time and analyze the situation. If you understand that your spouse still loves you, it will be easier to improve the relationship, but you need to act together.
- Talk, and while talking, listen carefully to each other.
- Make a list of things you have accomplished through your joint efforts.
- Try to resolve all issues together.
- Be sincere with your spouse, trust him.
- Try to spend more time together.
- Give your husband more attention.
A family therapist will help you improve your relationship. He will tell you how to cope with emotions that destroy relationships. But there are situations when the best way out of a relationship is divorce.
- Coasting.
Nothing new is happening in your relationship; you are acting according to a pattern, trying to maintain the relationship. But what kind of love can we talk about when you repeat the same actions and still receive nothing in return? It is obvious that there is no more love.
- Feeling that the marriage should end.
It is very important for a woman to trust her inner feelings, including in marriage. And when you feel like your relationship isn't what it should be, it probably isn't. However, there is no need to rush into separation. You can take a break to figure out what exactly doesn’t suit you, and contact a family therapist. But first of all, trust yourself, don’t step on your throat, don’t go against your feelings.
- Losing one's self.
My husband was in labor
Not all men begin to treat their wife with reverence and tenderness after the birth of the baby, when they attended childbirth. For many this is a lot of stress. The unprepared male psyche cannot stand what he sees. Why is this happening? Instead of a fragile and tender wife, he sees a woman who is in pain, very painful. But he can’t do anything about it, he sees how his wife is suffering, but he is unable to help her. And then, overcoming pain and fatigue, she helps a new person be born. This sight makes such a strong impression on men that some are even afraid to touch their wife after what they saw.
And the process of childbirth itself does not contain anything romantic. During the process, the doctor checks the dilation with his hand and may massage the perineum to help the muscles relax a little. Not every man will calmly accept the fact that strangers touch the most intimate things that belong only to him.
Of course he knows where children come from. But knowing it in theory and seeing it in the example of your wife is perceived completely differently. And if the birth is delivered by a male doctor, then what? Intellectually, the husband understands that the doctor is doing his job and helping his wife. But still a residue remains.
And in general, childbirth is far from the most aesthetically attractive process. At this time, many fluids are released from the woman’s body. This is natural from a physiological point of view, but does not look attractive.
If the husband has cooled down after the birth, which he was personally present at, give him time too. When he moves away a little, try to be affectionate with him and change your usual image so that he perceives you differently. At first, until everything is forgotten, try wearing sexy lingerie or a costume for role-playing games. Be affectionate with your husband, but don't babysit. After all, this is a man, not a baby.
The head of the family is the baby
When a baby is born into a family, the whole world begins to revolve around him. They try to predict his desires, his daily routine is adjusted to suit him. My husband is also having to rethink his home entertainment. Now he can’t calmly watch football with beer after work, because now there’s a baby sleeping in that room.
He feels like he is losing his monopoly on his wife. If he decided to have sex with her, but during the process the baby woke up and cried, then she will be distracted by him. It seems that the baby has become the head of the family, pushing the husband off the pedestal. So one gets the feeling that the husband has grown cold after giving birth.
This is a temporary phenomenon, when the baby grows up, the parents will be able to restore the status quo so that the child does not lead the family, but is part of it.