Mistress... There is so much suffering, pain, resentment, humiliation, insult, shock in this word! Her appearance in the family is a real blow to the spouse’s self-esteem, from which not every woman can recover. Whether it makes sense to fight for a family is a rather personal question, depending on many factors. But there are times when the husband realizes his mistake and sincerely wants to save the marriage. What should a wife do? To return love to her family nest, she needs to gain wisdom...
Reasons for a husband's affection for his mistress
If a man goes “left” this does not mean that he has problems at home. Family life can be cloudless and stable.
Reasons why husbands take mistresses and then become attached to them:
- Lack of novelty in intimate life with my wife.
This is the most common reason why men are attracted to other females. Family routine, everyday life, children, etc. kill the sexual desire of partners.
Marital duty is no longer as passionate as it once was. With a mistress, every meeting is a storm of emotions, adrenaline due to the fact that a man crosses the boundaries of prohibition and decency.
A mistress can fill a man’s life with new colors in an intimate way
- Love.
Sometimes this happens when sex attracts, but a married man is held back by love for another woman. This happens when there are constant conflicts in family life, the wife has ceased to be affectionate, always puts the child, career, girlfriends, etc. first.
- Seeking support and understanding.
Even the most dazzling beauties are cheated on. Here it's not about appearance at all, but about being on the same wavelength as a man.
The mistress knows how to be submissive, listen carefully to stories about work, colleagues and his wife, who has lost her former attractiveness while on maternity leave.
She will never say a word differently, she will definitely praise you and take the side of the man with whom she had an affair. At least until she starts insisting on a divorce in order to become a legal spouse.
- To maintain a “macho” image.
It's no secret that having a sexy lover, a man increases his self-esteem. The most important thing is that the passion should be spectacular, so that it would not be embarrassing to take it to a social event and show off to the big business bigwigs.
This position is usually occupied by successful men, for whom career and status are above all else.
Many men are supposed to have a mistress “by status”
- Compensation for disrespectful attitude on the part of the wife.
If the wife is cold and rude to her husband or earns more than him. To compensate for his ego, a man will begin to look for a mistress not so much for love pleasures, but in order to take a leading position in the relationship.
There are situations when men have an affair with their boss at work, only in order to get a promotion. There is no place for attachment, but only material gain. Moreover, this is also treason, despite the desired result.
Why men cheat
Each representative of the strong half of humanity will have their own arguments for this question. Some of them don’t have enough sex, some want to increase their self-esteem by conquering a huge number of women’s hearts, some want variety, for some, mistresses become a real outlet. The latter is possible if you had to get married because of pregnancy, career prospects or finances.
What else can cause adultery? The following options are possible:
- There was no positive example in the family, the parents were always busy, the child did not feel their love, and when he grew up, he began to need adoration and proof of love.
- Another reason is male loneliness. This happens when the wife is enlarged by something else, for example, she has set a certain goal for herself and goes towards it without noticing anything in her way, or has taken care of her life and children, forgetting about her husband.
- Changing a woman's behavior. When the other half starts to grumble and nag a man, you shouldn’t be surprised that he decides to go to the left
- Mismatch of characters, inability to discuss problems.
You can often hear, mainly from mistresses, that men love them incredibly, but stay with their wife only out of pity. Do not delude yourself: married men speak words of love only so that their mistresses will be as friendly as possible to them, allowing them to take what they want.
How to help your husband forget his mistress
A woman who truly loves experiences extreme stress when she learns about her husband’s betrayal. At the same time, if the family has decided to work through difficult times together, it is necessary to help the husband forget about his mistress.
Of course, you can go to a specialist for advice. Psychology will help determine both the causes and consequences of a man going “to the left” of his beloved.
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How to forgive your husband for cheating and is it worth doing?
A visit to a psychologist will help improve the previous relationship between spouses
The wife, first of all, needs to try to accept the fact that the betrayal has already occurred. After this, put your emotions in order and calm down. After all, decisions made in anger are usually the most wrong and lead to negative consequences in the future.
Next, you need to make sure that there really was treason. After all, cases often occur when acquaintances saw a man with a colleague, or “kind” friends helped to fantasize about the woman’s fears. How to stop thinking about your husband's mistress? To begin with, it is worth resolving the issue so that it is the man who forgets about her.
How to help your husband forget his mistress, the psychologist’s advice would be:
- First, you need to sit down and discuss in calm tones what made him commit treason. Try to understand the problem that has arisen in the family. This is the only way to help both the husband and the wife who have experienced betrayal on his part.
- You should never mention betrayal within the walls of your home, name your mistress, reproach, etc. Hysterics are not a way out of this situation.
- From now on, in order not to separate, the wife must forget about the word jealousy. This is not easy, but you must develop trust in your husband, otherwise there is no point in saving the family.
- Sexual life must be present without fail. Especially if this was the reason for the betrayal. A woman should start taking care of herself, change her image, buy erotic lingerie. The fact that you have a headache, even if it’s not today, must be forgotten forever. In a word - switch all his attention to his wife, by any possible means.
- It wouldn’t hurt to surprise your husband with culinary delights. It is no longer news that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
- The wife must transfer some of the responsibilities regarding children and family affairs to her husband. Then he will be involved in everything that concerns his family, and accordingly think more about coziness and comfort within the walls of the house.
Not all women are able to show wisdom, forgive betrayal and return their husband to the family mainstream. The reason for this is a woman’s hurt pride and resentment towards both her husband and her rival.
If deep down there is no desire to forgive, there is no point in making efforts to restore the relationship.
There is an opinion that all means are good in the fight against a mistress.
What stages does it go through?
If a love affair was based not only on intimacy, and there was emotional closeness and a feeling of affection between lovers, parting is always painful.
Experiences after men end relationships with their mistresses go through several stages.
Subconscious denial of what happened
The girl was present in his life for a long time, giving him joy, pleasant sensations, and a certain adrenaline. And now it's gone. On the one hand, there is free time that can be devoted to family. At the same time, there is no need to dodge and lie to your wife.
But thoughts of meetings and memories of pleasant moments come to mind. And it will take time to comprehend, to realize that all this is in the past.
Anger
Then disappointment, irritation and even anger arise. After all, the man lost what he had for some time, which brought him pleasure. Emotions that ask to come out can overwhelm and overwhelm. Anger falls on those around you: wife, children, work colleagues. The man becomes irritable and unbalanced. In such a situation, the wife gets the most. After all, she is the closest, and therefore the main transfer goes to her.
An attempt to restore the relationship through some bargaining
The thought arises of returning the broken relationship. And here the man either turns to his mistress again, trying to restore the connection (perhaps at a different level and on other conditions). Or he fights hard with himself, convincing him that there can be no return.
Depression
The realization has come that the relationship with my mistress is in the past, she must be forgotten, let go. But this is not easy to do. Apathy, melancholy and depression begin. The man has to reboot. You need to pull yourself together and build a life without your previous relationships. How deeply men suffer after breaking up with their mistress, how long the rehabilitation process will take, depends on psychological and emotional characteristics.
Everyone finds a way out individually. Some people start drinking, some throw themselves into work, for others sports and physical activity become a good healer. This moment must be lived through. If a man copes with his experiences, then his relationship with his wife may improve, and interest in family life and relationships will appear. However, as the wise King Solomon said, everything passes: this too will pass.
Methods of fighting an opponent
As they say, “in war, all methods are good.” So a wife should learn to stand up for her man. So that the husband does not think about how to stop loving his mistress, he must try to take the solution to the problem in fragile female hands.
To fight a rival, you need to know a little more about her than just the fact that she satisfies a man’s needs. This “reconnaissance” will be helped by friends, social networks and possible reservations from the husband. Having identified its strengths and weaknesses, you can begin the attack.
You should not openly demonstrate aggression towards your mistress. This can alienate the wife, while bringing the husband closer to his mistress.
A woman should be a little more cunning and agile than a passion who thinks she has caught a goldfish in the form of someone else’s spouse.
A man's interest may subside if he accidentally mentions his mistress's previous men. The tactic will be effective if the husband thinks that the wife does not know about the betrayal. A woman must show her skills in those areas in which her opponent is weak.
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You can also try the method of open conversation with your lover. The wife should talk to her about how she is “another toy” in the hands of her husband. Also indicate common property, children, difficulties of the divorce process, etc. As a rule, third parties in a couple do not like to strain themselves, but rather value ease, without everyday problems. Therefore, the mistress can give up her position and go in search of a new victim of her loving nature.
Sometimes an open conversation with your wife helps to discourage your mistress
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- What connects you
- Think about family
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Greetings, dear men! Recently, one of my clients asked - how to forget your mistress if you are strongly attracted to her? Sometimes you meet a person to whom you begin to be drawn in a completely incomprehensible way. These relationships may defy logic and all sorts of explanations, but what to do if you need to forget and let go? How to do this in the least painful way and not ruin another part of your life? Today I invite you to think about why you are attracted to this or that girl, what you should do with your wife, and what actions will help you quickly get rid of your feelings for your mistress.
Possible interference and difficulties
To prevent your husband from forgetting about his passion may be his unwillingness to do so. And then random calls and messages from your mistress will only cause delight. Thus, male interest will only be fueled from time to time. This will become the main problem in that I cannot forget my mistress.
The situation is also aggravated when the beloved husband and his mistress work together. Constant meetings at work will contribute to the resumption of a romantic relationship between them. In this case, the man will continue to communicate, since this is a necessary measure regarding the performance of work duties.
Don't underestimate your opponent. If the mistress is pregnant or has given birth to a child for a man, he is unlikely to forget about her forever. Meetings with the homewrecker will continue.
Roots of the situation
This whole story begins long before boyfriends appeared in your life. It starts with dad. The statistics are that 99% of women who take on the role of mistress have an inharmonious relationship with their father. A dad is the first man in a woman’s life, and the perception of other men depends on her relationship with him. A bad relationship with a father does not necessarily make a woman a mistress. These can be different options:
- A dad who put his daughter in her mother’s place and saw his woman in her... Usually such dads invest money, attention, love and care in their daughter for a long time, but they are in the wrong position from the point of view of hierarchy, because subconsciously they see their woman in her . She is often Dad's favorite daughter and close friend, they can go to events together, he is very proud of her and is very attached to her. On a subtle level, dad holds his daughter very tightly, not allowing her to build a marital relationship.
- A dad who praised the girl only for expressing her sexuality, but ignored other aspects of her personality... If a girl has been told since childhood about how important it is to be beautiful, slim, sexy, that this is the only way to find a man, then the solution is obvious - she will go into a relationship where her beauty and appearance are needed.
- A dad who didn’t care about his daughter, who had a mistress... Here, an exclusively psychological connection works: “Mistresses get attention.” The girl really needs her dad, his love and his attention, and she compensates for this in a relationship with a married man by being his mistress.
There can be many scenarios with dad, including the complete absence of a father. It is a disharmonious relationship with the father, where the family hierarchy is disrupted, that often leads to the fact that a woman unconsciously attracts married men.
She definitely needs a busy man, because only with him can she relive this scenario, full of love and pain, and let him go.
In a relationship with a married man, a woman is always looking for what her father did not give her. This attracts her to a man, and she, like a hound dog, smells the state that this man can help her live. Often women in such relationships seek acceptance and a sense of their value, importance, and exclusivity. Or support, care and protection, a feeling of safety “like behind a stone wall.” It all depends on which chakra the lesson was not completed and which block is being worked through through the relationship with the father.
When meeting a man who triggers this mechanism, it is incredibly difficult for a woman to pass by. It may not be infatuation, not love, or even attraction - it is a completely incomprehensible attraction that is critically difficult to overcome.
As soon as we meet people who open our blocks, almost immediately we become emotionally involved with them.
The woman says: “It seems to me that this is a karmic person in my life!” Of course, karmic: all the people to whom we are strongly drawn, who easily lead us into complex emotions and experiences - all are deeply karmic, they heal us from our limitations, show us our blocks and give us the opportunity to get rid of them.
Common female mistakes
We must not forget that in the husband’s infidelity, there is partial, and possibly complete, fault of the wife. The most common mistakes on the part of women are:
- You don't have to stop taking care of your appearance.
- Sexual pleasures should be passionate and varied.
- A wife who sits at home with the children is boring. Therefore, you should not waste time, but immediately find a hobby, stop doing only everyday life.
- You should definitely take an interest in your spouse’s life, his preferences, and go to meetings with mutual friends and his colleagues.
- By telling her husband about the presence of jealousy or suspicion, the wife, without realizing it, pushes him to cheat.
Which lover is difficult to keep and forget? The one who pretends to be independent and easily attracts the attention of the opposite sex. Sometimes a wife should get used to the image of her rival, showing her femininity, sexuality and self-sufficiency.
A wife should spend more time with her husband and have common interests.
Recommendations from psychologists
Psychologists recommend excluding emotions and thinking only with a “cool” head in the current situation. Forgetting about your mistress is not as easy as it might seem at first glance; neither conspiracy nor hysterics will help here. Only frank conversations, analysis of problems, without any reticence.
You should not openly tell your husband that you have become aware of another woman. Moreover, the wife should not throw mud at her. We must learn to be wise and restrained. At the same time, become better than her, more interesting, more attractive. Moreover, the legal spouse always has a moral advantage.
If you detect repeated infidelity or the presence of children on the side, it would be best to make an appointment with a specialist, since such cases are the most complex.
Sometimes an established life and family comfort do not stop a man from cheating. Having learned about her mistress, the wife must make efforts not only to discourage her husband from his rival, but also to ensure that he forgets about her.
The most effective conspiracies and prayers
The most powerful ritual to discourage a husband from his mistress is the ritual from the Bulgarian soothsayer Vanga. It will require the following attributes:
- two photographs of spouses;
- knife with a wooden handle;
- two church candles;
- Red thread;
- beet.
You need to cut the vegetable into two equal parts. Make a cross-shaped cut in the middle of one of the halves. Add a drop of beet juice to each photo. Tie the candles with thread and light them. Arrange the pictures and beets in the form of a pyramid so that the vegetable is at the top point of the figure.
Next, you need to pronounce the spell: “I, God’s servant (reader’s name), am good on all sides. I beg the holy spirits to attract love to me. So that my husband can only think about his wife and not let other women in. Let him look only in my direction.” Then extinguish the flame and hide the candles along with the photographs where no one will find them.
You can also perform a very simple ritual with your spouse’s clothes in order to regain his favor and turn him away from his rival forever.
To do this, any item of the faithful, for example a shirt, must be turned inside out, thrown at your feet, taken off your shoes and stood on it.
After this, say the following magic words: “As I walk on this thing with bare feet, so my husband (the name of his beloved) will trample the homewrecker, the evil snake. As soon as the little thing turns out, my husband will rush to me, but he will abandon my rival and will not set foot on her threshold. Not to that house, but to this one, not to someone else’s wife, but to his betrothed. Amen".
Then the item needs to be hidden in the far corner of the closet or put in a drawer for three days. On the third day, take it out, turn it right side out and hang it next to other clothes.
Over the next three days, the item must be ironed. At the same time, say the words: “Come back to me, my dear. I will be affectionate with you, but only fear awaits you there. There will be anger in her house, and love in her home.”
Then the item needs to be placed next to the husband’s other clothes. It is advisable that he wear it every day for the first week after the ceremony.
