Manipulations in communication. types, techniques, characteristics of manipulations in communication

Manipulation in communication is a quite common phenomenon and is constantly encountered in society when people interact with each other.

This impact can occur unnoticed, it can be traced during work, when communicating with friends and neighbors. Manipulations in family life, in relationships between lovers, and often in the communication of even unfamiliar people are quite familiar and customary.

With the help of manipulation, people try to control others, pursuing their personal goals, they strive to control and direct the actions and feelings of someone, regardless of his desires and interests. The process can involve either two people or a group of people.

Definition of the concept

Manipulation can be called one of the most common types of communication. It is necessary for the psychological impact on a person. Manipulation in communication is a method of management, the ability to control the behavior and feelings of an individual.

The process itself consists of a subject (manipulator) and an object (the recipient of its influence). Moreover, the latter is not informed about the psychological intervention being carried out on his personality. Therefore, such influence on people (or a group) often has a dismissive or condescending connotation.

Psychological manipulations in communication can be found at different levels: in personal discussions, in the family, in the team. They can be used both for creative purposes and to demoralize a person. The goal that the manipulator seeks to achieve plays a big role in this. The techniques with which he intends to influence are also important.

What types of people are most susceptible to manipulation?

It is quite difficult to create a single portrait of a person being manipulated. Each of us has vulnerable personality traits that a potential manipulator can put pressure on.

In the science of psychology, there are certain types of people who can become potential victims of manipulation:

1. The first type is people for whom their needs are a factor in their safe and comfortable state. At this level, manipulations are carried out. In this case, manipulation can take the form of providing and not providing the needs necessary for a person to achieve the goals of manipulation.
2. The second type is neurotic people who spend most of their lives in a stressful state. This type of people is characterized by melancholicity, vulnerability, and the predominance of the emotional part over the rational. Manipulation of such people occurs at the level of their emotions and feelings. Such people are characterized by methods of manipulating feelings (shame, love, affection), gaslighting, and instilling feelings of guilt.
3. The third type combines rational people with developed logical thinking. Manipulation at the level of feelings is useless for such people. They are built on the basis of pressure on their self-esteem, conscience, self-esteem.
4. The fourth type are people with various psychological disorders who cannot be aware of what is happening around them.

By determining what type of personality you are, you can predict manipulation.

Learning to see how to correctly manipulate people with words

Types of manipulations in communication

Types of influence are based on using the strength of the manipulator and playing on the weaknesses of the object. The latter, unaware of the process, believes that he controls his own behavior. In this case, all the benefits from his actions go to the manipulator. He distorts the presentation of information, finds a convenient moment and conveys information to the addressee in a unique way. All these components help the manipulator take advantage of the situation or the object’s reaction for his own purposes. Manipulation in communication (types, techniques, methods) is actually control of a person’s consciousness.

The main types of impact are divided into:

• conscious - a person understands the essence of his impact and sees the end result he is striving for (this type is more common in business communication);
• unconscious - a person is vaguely aware of the ultimate goal and meaning of his influence (this type is more common in interpersonal communication).

Secondary species are divided into:

• linguistic (otherwise called communication) is a psychological impact on a person through speech (during dialogue, discussion);
• Behavioral is the control of consciousness with the help of actions, situations, deeds (in this case, speech serves only as an addition).

Attention, manipulator!

Everyone is familiar with the situation when someone makes a scandal without any particular reason. This energy “vampire” wants to get the portion of energy he is missing, to “feed”. Or, on the contrary, the manipulator suppresses the victim, who is dependent on his mood, with his dissatisfied silence, punishing him with demonstrative “ignoring”.

The victim is forced to justify himself and make concessions, losing a certain portion of his energy, suppressing his desires, and ultimately spoiling his mood and health.

A woman, and sometimes a man, may seek to obtain material benefit from her intimate partner, manipulating, speculating on herself and her attention in order to receive an expensive gift.

Sometimes what is important for a manipulator is not profit, but the assertion of his power over others. In this way he increases his self-esteem and importance. A similar manifestation is often observed in the work team. A striking example of manipulative contact, when a woman dissatisfied in her personal life suppresses and often belittles subordinates who depend on her, bringing them to tears, and sometimes to a nervous breakdown.

What are they needed for?

Manipulation in communication is one of the oldest ways of obtaining benefits in a given situation. This psychological impact is not good or bad. It depends only on the final goal and how to achieve it.

If a person feels that his consciousness is being controlled, he should figure out why this is needed and try to benefit from the new knowledge.

First, you need to decide on your goal. What does the manipulator want? Is this the only benefit for him? Perhaps its impact will also benefit the recipient. This is relevant in family relationships when parents are trying to teach a child to perform some action (for example, exercise). In this case, the goal is to take care of the recipient of the impact.

Secondly, you need to decide on the means. If during the influence the recipient suffers (experiences humiliation, fear, anger, or is forced to do something), such demoralization completely subjugates the person to the manipulator. But there is also influence through flattery - when a counterpart is convinced of his attractiveness or uniqueness. But in this case, the addressee does not suffer, but almost voluntarily submits to the manipulator.

Thus, the characteristics of manipulation in communication have a neutral connotation. Much depends on the personality of the active subject. If the process of influence is revealed, it loses its meaning. Therefore, you should not always interrupt what is happening. Sometimes it is much more profitable to play along with the manipulator and benefit for yourself.

The most dangerous manipulators.

The most dangerous manipulators are those people who do it consciously, acting prudently, in pursuit of a specific goal. We are not talking about emotions here. The manipulator in this case has the task of material gain in one form or another. Thus, careerists weave secret intrigues, pitting people against each other, remaining on the sidelines as observers. They know psychology well, have excellent control over themselves and the situation, have strong nerves and a cynical, calculating mind.

Manipulation through positive emotions.

Manipulation through positive emotions can cause significant harm. A manipulator, pretending to be in love, interested, or a close friend, can quietly “get into” the victim’s soul, wallet, or living space. A kind, generous, trusting victim is ready to share everything she has, if only she is loved, made friends and communicated. The only bad thing is that having received what he wants, the manipulator can move on, pursuing other goals. And the victim will be left with a broken heart, disappointment and other losses.

The manipulator is always confident in his rightness, in his exclusivity. Thus, in various network companies they teach how to build communication in communication in order to gain the trust of the victim and impose their goods, products on him, supposedly acting exclusively in the interests of the victim, her health and other things. The victim, falling under the charming influence of a talented master, cannot offend him by refusing.

An example of manipulative influence.

One of them is classic. The husband makes a career, the wife stays at home, at his insistence, refusing self-realization, creates comfort for him, raises children, and takes care of everyday life. This is her whole life, she has no other interests. The husband, having achieved success, loses interest in a boring and monotonous woman. He can easily get carried away by another, spend his money and his emotions on her. The wife is left with nothing, having forgotten that she once simply succumbed to pressure, choosing the least resistance.

Techniques of manipulation in communication

The manipulator chooses appropriate techniques, depending on who his activity is directed at. This can be an impact on an individual or an entire audience. The media space has its own established ways of controlling human consciousness. Employers often use manipulation techniques to create their own image. In a family, there are separate forms of interaction between parents and children.

The main techniques and methods of manipulation in communication are based on feelings. They are capable of destroying a person’s personality and life. Therefore, you should learn the important points of mental interaction and try to stop them.

Creating the impression that your partner is cooperative

Your opponent in one way or another demonstrates to you a high level of understanding of your problems and current needs, but at the same time expresses regret that he cannot help or provide you with a service; official functions do not allow him to accept your proposal: the possibilities are very limited to agree with a specific course of action: decision-making is not within the scope of his competence, etc. In other words, with an external demonstration of readiness to cooperate, there is no willingness to take on Specific obligations in favor of cooperation. You will receive nothing more than sympathy, encouragement, verbal support, and a friendly request to positively consider and be sensitive to his own needs and interests. And because your sweet, understanding interlocutor is ready to do something for you or is “actively” looking for an opportunity to help you, you. Driven by a feeling of gratitude, you also show a readiness to reciprocate his feelings with very specific steps in favor of his interests. A situation arises when your partner tries to sell you a “candy wrapper” and in return receive “the candy itself.” In principle, it is not difficult to respond to it.

The main thing is to free yourself, to “move away” from the false sense of guilt and obligation. Because your opponent can't help you in any way. just refuse to interact with him in the future. You have every right to do this. Put your goals and interests at the forefront and link your retaliatory steps in favor of your opponent

meeting your needs.
Remember that business cooperation is not only about expressing sympathy and sympathy. This is only an external component of communication. Ultimately, business cooperation is very specific steps, actions and obligations of both parties aimed at achieving or satisfying the interests and needs of both participants in communication.
Do not allow yourself to be drawn into any specific obligations in exchange for understanding, empty promises, sympathy, etc. by anyone, even someone who plays the role of a pleasant person, but is not ready to interact.

Impact of love

In this technique, love is not an unconditional feeling. A person is perceived only if he fulfills certain requirements or conditions. For example: “If you do such and such, I will love you,” “Only worthy employees remain in our team, the rest leave of their own free will.” The manipulation offers conditions, upon fulfilling which, a person will receive at least a good attitude towards himself, and at a maximum – love. The cruelty of this psychological impact lies in the fact that the person is not perceived as a whole (with advantages and disadvantages), but only approves of her good behavior.

Results

First of all, to protect yourself from manipulation, you need to avoid any communication with the manipulator. You need to try to minimize contact with this person and, if possible, try to turn off your emotions. If you do not take any actions under the influence of other people’s words, but first think about them, this will help reduce the intensity of the psychological impact. A person’s desire to manipulate is most often a hidden desire for power. A person can reconsider his methods of communicating with people if he is given a positive assessment and praise. In addition, you need to keep your distance from the manipulator and not tell him anything about your life or other details. This is due to the fact that the more information a manipulator has about an object, the more ways he will have influence. You also need to learn to say “no.” It’s better to be thought of as a callous person than to do someone else’s work all the time.

Impact of fear

Fear and lack of awareness of the addressee make it possible to cleverly manipulate his actions and actions. For example: “If you don’t go to college, you will become a beggar,” “You are an excellent specialist, but another applicant has appeared for this vacancy.” All invented fears come from a lack of information. By listening to the manipulator, the recipient makes a big mistake. Sometimes behind such influence lies the desire to force a person to do something better, without additional motivation or funding.

Nonverbal communication

To influence the psyche of another person, they use not only words, but also movements and gestures. One of the most effective techniques is called “mirroring.” When using this technique, the subject mimics the movements and gestures of his opponent. Here you have to show subtlety; excessive precision causes caution. The use of this technique has a relaxing effect on the interlocutor. He gains confidence in a person who is similar to him, “mirroring” affects the unconscious of the object.

One way to identify a manipulator is to observe how he speaks and what gestures he uses. Gestures will have a better impact on listeners if they are natural. Monotonous gestures look unnatural and alarming; for this reason, movements during a conversation need to be varied.

1. Extend your hands towards your interlocutor with open palms up. This gesture means “trust me, I am open to you.”
2. Hit the open palm of the other with the back of one hand - “believe me, agree with me, accept my arguments.”
3. Turn your palms back up - “go ahead, it’s time to do it.”
4. Make a hand gesture reminiscent of twisting a light bulb - “pay attention to this little detail.”
5. Put your hands forward with open palms facing each other - “we are friends, aren’t we?”
6. Gestures are reflected in the behavior of the interlocutor or a whole group of listeners, positioning them towards the subject, opening up the possibility for other manipulative techniques. It is recommended to make gestures with both hands for better efficiency.

Impact of guilt

Guilt is most often used by manipulators in family life. By experiencing it, a person seeks to compensate for the damage caused. For example: “You were walking and having fun with your friends, and I am alone and babysitting the child, and creating comfort for you,” “It’s better for you to rest today, and I can do your work for you.” The manipulator will constantly press on the feeling of guilt or find new episodes. The recipient in such a situation will try to level out the discomfort and will fall into the same trap over and over again. The feeling of guilt subsequently gives rise to aggression, so the manipulator should use such psychological influence with caution.

Provoking your defensive reactions

Some techniques are designed to put you on the defensive, to put you in a state of need to explain, justify, and discuss in detail all aspects of your position. In one way or another, the opponent seeks to make you feel a kind of guilt in connection with the position you take in the conversation.

Your partner may question you, express doubt, as if suggesting that your position is not entirely reasonable or constructive, even if viewed from the point of view of your own interests. If during a conversation you catch yourself spending an unreasonably long time (when, despite your reasons and arguments, your partner continues to demonstrate a lack of understanding of your position or doubts about its correctness) trying to prove the merits of your position, justify the significance of your goals and intentions, this is alarming. and an important signal! Rest assured that you are almost certainly the target of a tactical maneuver.

The main purpose of this maneuver is to weaken your determination to pursue your goals. When this happens, stop trying to justify your position. You can easily restore the moral flow of the discussion by taking the following position: “I

I understand that you will not entirely approve of my goals and aspirations. But they really best suit my interests, needs and are important to me. Therefore, let’s better think together about what we can do to satisfy both your and my interests.”

Impact of self-doubt

In this case, the manipulator presses with his authority. It directly indicates the incompetence of the addressee in certain matters. For example: “You must listen to me - I have lived my life! You can’t do anything without me,” “Actually, I’m the boss here, so it’s up to me to decide how this should be done.” Such self-affirmation at the expense of another can take place at different levels and on different issues. The impact will continue until the recipient gets rid of his uncertainty, weakness and acquires the necessary skills.

Conversational reframing and promotion

The next highly used pattern is conversational reframing . A game with meaning. Because people react not to the situation itself, but to the meaning that is attributed to it.

- I'm not evil, I'm sincere. — Greed for knowledge is an important skill. If you know what I mean.

And this very meaning can be changed both directly, replacing one meaning with another: hot-tempered - emotional, rude - a real man, cautious - a coward - but also by changing what a person considers to be a situation, the context. Because anger seems to be bad, but anger in sports can be very useful. And that's the whole structure. Reframing meaning and context . Or you can simply not think about it. And look for a different look, boldly moving the frame.

— My husband cheated on me. — Did he cheat on you with your best friend? - No, what are you talking about! - He cheated with your sister. - No! - What a delicate person.

And for good reframing, a state of creativity (flight, drive) is required more than an understanding of the structure and ten thousand preparations. Drive! - that's what you need. After all, reframing itself should give a state of insight and turn a person in the other direction. You say a phrase, and suddenly something changes in him: - Oops! - says the man, - but I didn’t think about it at all.

- Nobody loves me. - You must be a big shot, since six billion people don’t like you?

It is clear that one can find a bunch of arguments for and against the same statement. There may be a bunch of arguments, but you just need one that will stick. And you also need to serve it in such a way that it catches your attention. We do not work with consciousness - it needs logical argumentation and a lot of arguments - it is better to amaze the unconscious.

- I eat too much. - You know, there are many places where they won’t let you eat so much. For example, a prison. In our country it is very easy to get a referral to this sanatorium.

Reframing doesn't have to be clever or correct, it has to be unexpected. In a certain sense, this is simply one of the options for breaking the pattern. Breaking down restrictions.

- Men don't like me. - This is a good phrase for auto-training. Maintain this confidence and it will certainly help you avoid close relationships.

If we apply reframing to beliefs, we get promotions . The rules are still the same. And in the same way we can say that there are promotions that change the context of application of the belief and those that change the belief from the inside by changing its meaning . You will laugh, but in most cases this knowledge is enough. Beliefs can be changed. It can be moved to another situation - and this will be reframing, promotion of the context, or you can twist something inside - and this will be promotion of the meaning. Of course, all 14 types can be described, and fans can go and have a look. But we are talking about drive and a general outlook. And there you just need to trust your intuition more. Just change your perspective, go beyond. Oh, it requires constant training. On myself. Because to design successful reframings and promotions you need to be a very flexible person. This is how I again approached the unpleasant topic of starting with yourself.

Yes, another important thing is that for promotion to work, it must be based on what is important to a person. “You can’t make a decision hastily.” — It seems to me that it is more important to think about the correctness of the decision made than about the speed of its adoption. This promotion can only work if the “right decision” is important to a person. If this value is not in his card, then it will be an empty waste.

Well, now examples of promotions. But... I gave all the examples of reframing for persuasion. What do we do?

Impact of pride

Vanity and pride are a wonderful lever for psychological influence. For example: “I see that my wife is tired at work. But you’re smart and an excellent housewife - surprise my friends with a delicious dinner,” “I’m preparing a promotion for you, but, unfortunately, your salary will have to remain the same for now.” The more a person strives to prove his skills to someone, the more often he tries to catch up and overtake his friends in success, the faster he will become a victim of psychological influence.

Playing on greed

The main idea of ​​this technique is to convince the opponent to take advantage of the extraordinary opportunity that has opened up to dare to accept a risky offer that promises huge benefits in the future. Figuratively speaking, this is “the other side of the coin in comparison with the technique of provoking hopelessness. Here you are not “jumping into the pool” in order to avoid trouble, misfortune - you are encouraged to “jump” in order to find yourself at the “pot of gold” at the end of a risky enterprise, when the feeling of greed is “involved” in the persuasion process.

Whenever you are offered a uniquely profitable opportunity that contains the possibility of enormous risk, the main thing

-
stay firmly grounded in reality, do not let your greed “fill your eyes.”
Carefully analyze and evaluate all factors, circumstances, prospects and possible consequences of a risky decision to ensure its reality. Carefully find out possible details, demand confirmation, express doubts, forcing your partner to disclose additional information. Compare the possible consequences with your priorities and your partner's long-term prospects discussed earlier. This line of behavior in situations of “risky unique chance” will help you avoid the trap and keep you from making a rash decision.

Impact of pity

This technique is often used by children and young girls. Its task is to evoke self-pity and a desire to help. For example: “I’m so tired, I don’t have any strength, and I also have to cook dinner for you,” “I’m the boss and every time I receive comments for your bad work and pay fines for you.” The victim receives help in this psychological impact. But she herself does not strive to improve her life, but prefers to complain. The slight energetic “vampirism” of this action subsequently evokes a contemptuous attitude towards the manipulator.

Nested messages

And the pearl of linguistic influence, what Milton Erickson called his main discovery - nested messages . It’s an extremely simple thing: if you select some words in a message and make a meaningful phrase out of it, then the phrase will go to the unconscious as a command.

We take the phrase: “You are confident in yourself,” and insert it into someone’s monologue. “ Are you now thinking about whether I am confident of success?” Yes I am sure. I swore to myself that I could do this.

You can highlight it by intonation, hand movement, boldness or font type - whatever you like. After all, nested messages are not just a pattern - they are a whole science. Although it is light. It's so easy that you need to practice a little. But it works.

You come up with a command and insert it into the text. It can be a metaphor or a story. Well, or somewhere else. You can even just take a newspaper article and practice marking it up so that you get what you need.

- Do you like me. - I want to tell you one thing. I know you like France, tell me about it.

Please note that the command phrase may not be too consistent - here instead of “like” it is put “like” - the unconscious will normally perceive this text.

How to find out about the psychological impact?

There are different ways to communicate. Manipulation is one of them. But how can an ignorant person understand that they are being deceived into feelings or are trying to push him to a certain action? There are special keys that the manipulator uses to obtain the result. Here are some of them.

1. Emotions. If the addressee felt that the opponent was “pressuring” feelings (for example, pity, empathy, shame, vindictiveness), then the process of consciousness control is underway.
2. Incomprehensible words. Professional terms and “smart” words appear in speech. They are a red herring intended to disguise a lie.
3. Repeat phrase. The addressee hears the repetition of the same statement in speech. In this way, the manipulator tries to “zombify”, to instill the necessary thought.
4. Urgency. It creates a certain level of nervousness. The addressee does not have time to comprehend what has been said, and he is already being called to action. His attention is distracted, and in the bustle he begins to carry out what his opponent is trying to achieve.
5. Fragmentation of meaning. During the discussion, the addressee is not given all the information. It is split into pieces in such a way that a person is unable to grasp the entire news, but draws false conclusions based on a fragmentary phrase.
6. Imposing stereotypes. The manipulator deliberately refers to known truths, emphasizing the commonality of the addressee with them. This imposition of stereotypical thinking or actions leads to their implementation by the object of influence.

Manipulation in communication is necessary in cases where a person does not have the strength or confidence to achieve his desire. He is afraid to openly express his claims and would prefer to achieve his goal through hidden influence.

Presuppositions

Presuppositions are axioms of reality created by speech. For example, in order for the phrase: “The Queen of Great Britain rode an electric train today,” these same Queen, Great Britain and electric trains must exist. Otherwise there is no meaning in this phrase. So the presence of the Queen, Great Britain and the electric train are precisely axioms of this reality - they are presupposed.

It is very easy to find out what is a presupposition: put a negation in front of the phrase and the fact that it will not change - this is precisely a presupposition.

— The Queen of Great Britain traveled by train today

— The Queen of Great Britain did not travel by train today; the Queen, Great Britain and the train remained.

- Tell me how much you love me. “Don’t tell me how much you love me, strong love remains.” - When you leave the room, you will remember about me - Without leaving the room, you will remember about me, - “you will remember about me” remains. However, like the presence of a room, you and me.

How it works

Presuppositions create a reality in which only the necessary choices exist.

- Do you understand that you can cope with the situation? – in this reality, a person is able to cope with the situation, no matter what it is. —Will you come to see us tomorrow morning or afternoon? – and in this reality a person “comes to us” in any case. True, he has a choice - in the morning or after lunch.

Presuppositions are characterized by the fact that they distract consciousness, which is quite procedural and straightforward - with the help of questions, choices, sequential instructions. — How interested are you in reading this article? — You can read the article first, and then practice presuppositions, or practice directly as you read.

But these things don't work well for people who have a better understanding of the process or don't get caught by such things. I ask my five-year-old son: “Anton, will you brush your teeth before or after the cartoon?” “No,” he answers completely incorrectly. But as an adult, he was already caught using similar structures. Although not for everything.

Presuppositions work really well. But they need to be served correctly. If the entire speech consists of only obvious presuppositions, this can seriously irritate listeners. Also, these same listeners are badly affected by incorrect non-verbal marking of these phrases - tension, excitement, etc. They (the listeners) begin to tense up, worry, consciousness creeps out and... - You can pay by card or cash.

- Yes, I didn’t intend to buy anything at all. So calm, rapport and respect for the interlocutor. If the presupposition is too contrary to his intentions - well, he is not going to buy right now - there is no need to impose such a harsh reality. You can do this more gently.

- I see that you have been choosing a sofa for a long time and you are especially interested in this one. Perhaps you should look at it again and make a final decision.

The correct use of presuppositions is the basis of any effective NLP communication. Because presuppositions determine this very communicative reality, and if you control them, then reality will be as intended, and if you don’t control it, reality will not be quite the same. Because sometimes all sorts of funny constructions creep in from within, limiting beliefs appear, which, although they allow you to get out your own problems, create a painfully stupid reality.

“Only a loser like me could do that!” - When you realize that you don’t like me, tell me right away.

Well, why would another person believe in something new – bright, beautiful, correct, otherwise what’s the point? - reality, if you don’t fully believe it yourself. It’s our own limitations that creep into speech. So effectiveness begins with yourself, with understanding the goals and imagining the consequences. If someone says that you can learn a couple of techniques and everything will work out: - In this case, will you tell her “to you or to me?” and she is yours - you are being cruelly deceived. The techniques only work well if everything else also works. And everything else is, in fact, who we are. And we have no other instrument to influence the world except ourselves. And if I work ineffectively, where does effective communication come from?

But we understand that in fact, anyone can improve themselves. And, oddly enough, speech manipulation is one of the tools on this path. As you understand, we are able to control our own speech and through this manage ourselves. Because most problems in communication are not so much from ignorance of techniques, but from one’s own limitations. And RCCs allow you to get rid of restrictions.

In business relationships

Manipulations in business communication, their presence or absence, depend more on the professionalism of the employee and his confidence in his abilities. It is difficult to influence a person who knows his own worth. If the employee is incompetent or too shy to emphasize his merits, the employer or colleagues will not fail to take advantage of this.

Common methods of influence in a work environment are:

• ridicule, reproaches; the recipient is nervous, irritated and performs the actions necessary for the manipulator;
• demonstrative resentment is a reluctance to admit one’s point of view is wrong, and the addressee will try to fulfill all the whims of the offended person;
• flattery and support are intended to reduce a person’s vigilance and make him a victim of influence.

Manipulation in business communication can be avoided if you clearly express your opinion (which is obviously correct) and be confident in your professional qualities. During the impact, you can try to interrupt the conversation with a phone call or urgent matter. Even a simple change of topic of discussion will help avoid manipulation.

Harm from manipulation.

If communication using manipulation is within the acceptable “norm”, this may not be given much importance. It’s a completely different story if the manipulations are carried out by a skilled puppeteer. Here the situation can be dangerous, traumatic, and cause serious harm to property or personal health.

One way or another, it’s good to be knowledgeable enough to be able to counter manipulators with dignity and without harming yourself.

To classify a manipulator’s actions as malicious, the following factors must be observed:

Damage to the victim.

Contact with a manipulator causes damage to the victim, his property, mental or physical health, and takes away personal time and energy. In this case, the manipulator has a benefit for himself in any case, without losing anything or sacrificing anything. The main sign that dangerous manipulation is taking place is a contrasting change in the victim’s mood in the presence of the manipulator: this can be either a decline in mood or enthusiastic euphoria.

The manipulator, who in this case is an energy vampire, wants to receive the emotions of the victim.

It is easier to achieve the release of negative emotions, fear, anger, hysteria. With particularly large energy losses, the victim’s hands begin to shake, the heartbeat quickens, blood pressure may increase, and the temperature may even rise sharply. The exchange took place. The manipulator is filled with strength, cheerful and satisfied, he goes on to do his “dirty” deeds. His victim, feeling completely devastated, tries to recover.

In family relationships

The most common family manipulations are hysterics, silence, demonstrative departure “to mom’s,” partying with friends, and drinking bouts. Psychological influence is used by both parents and children. This is a way to achieve your own benefit by playing on the feelings of others.

To avoid such influences in the family, you should learn to trust each other and openly discuss your desires and actions. Perhaps, at first, conflict situations will be a frequent occurrence. Over time, relatives will learn to calmly talk about their goals and motivations. But there are also constructive manipulations that can inspire a spouse or child to new achievements.

Manipulation through love.

But there is a completely different, higher level of manipulative communication. When the influence comes through the so-called “love”. That is, the object of manipulation is subtly instilled with the idea of ​​his exclusivity, his significance and value in a given situation.

A person who lacks love, attention and acceptance in society becomes dependent on this assessment. Because it is important for him to be an object of admiration and approval. He is ready to make many sacrifices to be worthy of such high praise. People are ready to sacrifice their time, their property, themselves. Everything else, except the manipulator, becomes unimportant and insignificant for him.

This is how people are recruited into various sects and informal organizations. In such organizations, the leader, organizer, having a naturally high energy level and strong personal charisma, easily subjugates the will of many of his “followers,” ruining their lives and destinies.

Of course, weak, somewhat flawed people more often become objects of manipulation.

But strong personalities with an “iron” will also have their own, often carefully hidden, weaknesses. And an experienced master of manipulation will certainly find the opportunity to influence by playing on the thinnest strings of the soul.