6 Ways to Deal with the Insensitive Person You're Forced to Tolerate

Callousness is a psychological personality trait that consists of many factors and manifests itself as a limited ability or complete absence of an emotional response to troubles and experiences of a social nature. Mental callousness implies not only a decreased reaction to events in the lives of others, but also an inability to express one’s own experiences quite openly and in a correct form.

The callousness of the soul is largely determined by the style of parenting and the traumas and other life events suffered. Thus, boys are deliberately instilled with low emotional responsiveness, explaining this by masculinity and stereotypical views on the concept of a real man. Experienced emotional turmoil associated with relationships can reduce a person’s sensitivity due to the protective mechanisms of the psyche. Those who have often been in situations of betrayal, and relationships developed from the point of view of self-interest, may find it difficult to openly express tender aspects only because of the existing memory that in past similar conditions this led to serious mental trauma, which may not go away to this day.

Callousness in relationships is increasingly explained by the increased vulnerability of the inner world, which can only be protected by completely eliminating interaction at deep levels. The more a person shows that he is invulnerable and sufficiently indifferent, the higher the chances that they will not want to come close to him emotionally, and he himself will not give anyone the opportunity to get close in such a way as to cause injury again. In many situations, when a large amount of time passes, callousness can be replaced by an abnormal level of emotional response and hypersensitivity.

What to do?

First.
If your loved one has changed, try to talk to him about the reasons for the change. Maybe he has a serious problem that he is trying to hide in this way, pretending to be indifferent? It is only important to refrain from making claims, scandals, hysterics and other things, so start a conversation only when you realize that you are ready to hear the truth or have the strength to cope with it

Second. If you are trying to influence your partner using perceived indifference, then think about how it hurts. Are you sure that you are deliberately ready to cause pain and sometimes unbearable suffering to your loved one? There are examples when they punished for treason in this way, but ignoring it does not relieve the suffering of the one who was offended. Even if it seems to him that he is not experiencing anything. Only forgiveness will allow you to free yourself. It is not necessary to continue to be together, but it is necessary to forgive in order to release the burden, take care of yourself, and move on.

Third. If this happened to you, try to understand what is behind your insensitivity? What are you hiding from, or, on the contrary, hiding? Only by realizing the cause can you find a way to heal.

Fourth. Work on your self-esteem, especially after encountering total loneliness as a couple, and in general. You will learn recommendations on how to increase it in the article “The best methods for achieving success that will help you finally believe in yourself.”

Fifth. Be honest and sincere with yourself, you shouldn’t put on a mask and play the role of a happy person if your soul is sad, you won’t hide from melancholy, but you won’t feel joy either. It’s better to have courage and look into the eyes of those emotions that you are avoiding; only by living through them can you free yourself and “break the spell.” If you are afraid that you cannot cope alone, enlist the support of your loved ones or a qualified specialist. The main thing is to act before the swamp of apathy sinks deep.

Sixth. In the case of psychological trauma, it will take time. Learn to simply be close to the one who has suffered, and wait without reproaching or putting pressure on him.

Motivation

For a good person to become evil, he needs compelling reasons. Of course, many people have sudden outbursts. So a person thinks: “That’s it, I’m tired, I won’t help anyone anymore and forgive nothing!” But then she somehow forgets about it and continues to be “Mother Teresa.”

Need motivation. How to become evil? Just remember the reasons that cause this “need”. You can even write them out: “Colleagues constantly leave all the “dirty” work to me. When they are having fun, I stay in the office late. I don’t get enough sleep, I can’t take care of my personal life. It's time to stop this. I still love myself." The principle is the same, even if it’s not about work. Here is an example regarding family: “I am 30 years old, but I still do what my mother wants. I can't resist her, she constantly tells me what I need to do. The situation needs to change - I don’t feel like a man and I can’t present myself as such in society.”

In general, in other words, a person must make a firm decision to change something. Plus, his confidence will be noticed by those around him who want to sit on his neck.

Kinds

In relationships, marriage

It occurs more often than other types and is very difficult for a partner to live with, since a once close and beloved person suddenly stops paying attention and becomes completely alien and distant - this hits the most vulnerable places. The qualities that were previously attractive seem to disappear and he turns into a completely different person.

Unfamiliar and indifferent. It’s very lonely next to him, unbearably lonely, and not everyone is able to cope with this feeling

The qualities that previously attracted him seem to disappear and he turns into a completely different person. Unfamiliar and indifferent. It is very lonely next to him, unbearably lonely, and not everyone is able to cope with this feeling.

Male

From childhood, boys are taught not to cry and to endure suffering, instilling the idea that they should be strong and able to withstand anything. This is, of course, an interesting and attractive idea about the existence of ideal men, but in this case, they need to turn into emotionless robots, which is what some try to do in order to live up to the mythical image.

At work

I am not attracted to the activities that I come to do, so much so that I have to force myself, forcing me to get ready in the morning. Unfortunately, the consequences of working without enthusiasm are either dismissal or lack of prospects for career advancement, and this all only exacerbates the negative attitude towards the chosen profession.

Towards the environment

Killings of animals, destruction of nature, political issues: they may not bother a person at all. Either because he does not want to “get involved” in a process that requires large amounts of energy and time, or because they bother him so much that he chooses to isolate himself and not notice them.

In any case, whatever the reason, such a person relieves himself of responsibility for involvement in anything in this world. For example, when buying a mink coat, he does not think about the fact that this living creature was once brutally killed, and by paying for it, he makes his contribution to this business.

Or he doesn’t go to the polls, giving other people the right to make decisions regarding the future of the country in which he lives.

To the children

Sometimes it happens that for some reason a parent becomes unable to feel love for his children, performing only functional duties. Such children are usually seriously traumatized and believe that they are not worthy of love, do not deserve it, and so on. And when they grow up, they risk becoming the same, because they don’t know how to behave differently.

Everything is very simple here...

The fittest females win.

Natural selection. The fittest individuals win. That's all. That's all.

If she doesn’t want to change, develop, become better, improve in everything, etc. and so on. = she will lose to the one (that girl) who wants. The insensitive will lose to the sensual. Understand?

That is, she will lose to a more adapted young lady in this world, who will suit you more than her. That's all. This is natural selection. There is no need to endure anything and suffer = worthy men value, respect and love themselves, and do not tolerate anything!

Therefore, if your girlfriend (in our topic, insensitive) does not suit you, does not suit you, then take responsibility for yourself and break off this relationship. Gave a chance - no change - goodbye!

Ultimately, why do you need a girl and a relationship in which you endure something, suffer, suffer? Don’t you feel her love, don’t you feel loved, don’t you feel her affection, care, attention, tenderness, her femininity? Why do you need it then at all? If all this is not there, then there is no woman next to you. You are with a robot, a woman-man (hybrid), in a skirt. Understand?

And this is not the right relationship. Not balanced. And destructive (destructive).

Accordingly, such relationships are generally meaningless. I recommend that you study my main article: “The meaning of the relationship between a man and a woman.” And then you will understand everything right away.

As for the analysis of the question, why is the girl so insensitive - what difference does it make? If you don’t change, don’t develop, don’t get better, don’t upgrade your femininity – there’s no way out. IMHO!

The soil of many sins

All people, regardless of their religion, need to understand where good is and where evil is. As the apostle teaches: the senses must be “trained to discern between good and evil” (Heb. 5:14). We must be guided not by our momentary principles, but by the categories of eternity. Anyone who lives like this cannot be indifferent. Even small, local manifestations of grief and injustice are important and serious for us. Otherwise, it turns out like this: we all want our friends and acquaintances to be kind people, but we don’t want to be like that ourselves. We look for sin around us, but it lies on another plane: in us.

The sin of indifference is very serious. It lies at the root of so many sins. For example, it would seem: what does he have to do with gluttony, but it turns out that the glutton first became indifferent to himself, and then began to eat anything at random or without restrictions. It’s the same with the killer: at first he became indifferent to the value of another person’s life, his suffering. On the other hand, if we look at the life of this killer, it will probably turn out that he was surrounded by indifferent people. He is cold to the suffering of others, because he was indifferent to him in childhood and youth.

God's plan, or Why do people live on the plan?

You can’t talk about the meaning of life without touching on the topic of religion. After all, all existing beliefs have on this issue. Their sacred texts give clear instructions on how one should spend one's life and what is the highest good for a person.

So, let's look at the most common denominations.

  • Christianity. According to the New Testament, all people are born to live a righteous life, which will give them a place in heaven. Therefore, their meaning in life is to serve the Lord and also to be merciful to others.
  • Islam. Muslims are not too far removed from Christians; their faith is also based on serving God, only this time to Allah. In addition, every true Muslim must spread his faith and fight the “infidels” with all his might.
  • Buddhism. If you ask a Buddhist: “Why does a person live?”, he will most likely answer: “To become enlightened.” This is precisely the goal that all followers of Buddha pursue: to purify their minds and move to nirvana.
  • Hinduism. Everyone has a divine spark - Atman, thanks to which a person is reborn after death in a new body. And if he behaved well in this life, then at the next rebirth he will become happier or richer. The highest goal of existence is to break the circle of rebirth and indulge in oblivion, which gives pleasure and peace.

What can callousness and indifference lead to?

These moral and psychological characteristics of a person, in their essence, do not carry anything destructive at first glance. A callous person may not do anything wrong, but the results of indifferent behavior are amazing

How many times do we come across statements: “If only they had rushed in earlier...”, “If only they had helped me right away...”, “If only he had been given medical assistance right away...”? Indeed, if you pay attention to a person and his problem a little earlier, you can protect him from fatal mistakes, prevent personal catastrophes, and so on.

B. Yasensky once said a very good phrase on this topic. He clearly notes that enemies can kill in the worst case, friends can betray, but indifferent people are worse than everyone else. They can silently consent to murder and betrayal. You never know what to expect from them. Callousness and indifference can lead to physical and psychological injuries, loss of meaning in life, and death in extreme cases.

Excitable type.

These people are unsociable, their actions and reactions are slow, but they can be quick-tempered and irritable. They often provoke conflicts and can be rude and rude. Positive traits include neatness, love for small children, as well as reliability and conscientiousness. This type is characterized by insufficient controllability, weakened control over drives and impulses, and increased impulsiveness. This type is characterized by instinctiveness, anger, intolerance, and a tendency to conflict. There is low contact in communication, heaviness of actions, and slowness of mental processes. Work and study are not attractive to him and he is indifferent to the future. Lives entirely in the present. Increased impulsiveness is difficult to suppress and can be dangerous to others. Can be domineering, choosing the weakest for communication.

A feature of an excitable personality is pronounced impulsiveness of behavior. The manner of communication and behavior largely depends not on a rational understanding of one’s actions, but on an impulse, drive, instinct or uncontrollable urge. In the area of ​​social interaction, representatives of this type are characterized by extremely low tolerance.

An indifferent person cannot be happy

First of all, I would like a person not to brush aside this problem, to delve into himself, to look deeper into his soul. We are all infected with indifference, myself included. It concerns each of us, we meet with it every day. First, we need to determine in our family: what can we do to improve the lives of our loved ones? For example, these could be good kind words with which to start their day

These are very simple things, but how important they are! We don’t have to wait for people to show us attention; we will try to give it ourselves. You may not respond to our “good morning” and “how are you” for several years, but because you do this, you will feel better

Gradually, the people around you will change.

You need to think about what you can do for your parish. We came to see everything ready in the temple, and left without thinking about who created everything that surrounds us. Is it correct? Now there is a threat that we may lose our churches. I think this is no coincidence: most people, unfortunately, do not need churches - with the exception of a small group of people who work in them.

If you don’t want indifference around you, don’t be indifferent yourself! Then you will find earthly happiness and save your soul. If you are unhappy, it means you are indifferent. An indifferent person cannot be happy. Happy is the one who sees someone else's pain and helps, who forgives insults, and sows goodness. I wish everyone to understand this - and not leave a single chance for indifference.

Make strong connections with other people

There is power in numbers.
It's easier to build a wall around yourself than to reach out and create deep relationships with other people. Earning and maintaining people's trust is no easy feat. It may sound strange, but showing vulnerability in front of others is actually an important part of being tough. Show your family, friends and colleagues that you deserve their trust and love

Answer emails and calls quickly and be there for people when you need it. Take on a leadership role in your community. You can dedicate your time to helping others, coaching a small team - say, at work or at the recreational level. Place a bet in your community!

In Vasmer Max's dictionary

callous, callous, callous, dial. hard, Ukrainian stale “stale, strong, fresh”, Old Russian. callous “solid; dry, stale; irreproachable; clear; significant", Bulgarian chevrast, chvrast “tough, strong, dexterous, vigorous”, Serbohorvian. chvrsta, chvsta “strong, hard, full, fleshy”, Slovenian. čŕstǝv, čvrst “strong, vigorous, vigorous, fresh”, Czech, Slavic. čerstvý “fresh, cheerful”, Polish. czerstwy “fresh, vigorous, strong, callous” (from *czarstwy, probably influenced by czerstwieć; see Elk, Gr. polska I, 67), v.-luzh. čerstwy “cheerful”. Praslav. *čьrstvъ was repeatedly compared with other Indian. kr̥tsnás “full, final” and lat. crassus “thick, rough” (Brugman, Totalität 55 et seq.; Fick I, 25; Bernecker I, 171; Walde - Hofm. I, 285 et seq.; Mayrhofer 259). This rapprochement is highly unreliable due to the fact that Lat. crassus is regarded as an expressive formation (Meye - Ernou 263 et seq.), the connection of which with lat. crātis "weaving", Goth. haúrds "door", etc., is highly doubtful, contrary to Bernecker (ibid.). A more successful comparison with Goth. hardus “hard, hard”, Greek. κρατύς “strong”, κρατερός “stronger”, κράτος “strength” (I. Schmidt, Vok. 2, 33; Zupica, GG. 109; Uhlenbeck, Aind. Wb. 40; Brückner 76; Mikkola, Ursl. Gr. 3 , 27). Others compare čьrstvъ with other Spanish. herstr "sharp", lit. ker̃štas “anger” (I. Schmidt, Vok. 2, 501; Bezzenberger, KZ 22, 479). Dont clear.

Mirroring

Are you often bullied? Or maybe you are simply succumbing to eternal emotional tyranny? Gain strength and courage...and mirror your behavior. Don't be afraid to touch the nerves of your offenders. However, like all other people.

What does it mean? Treat your offenders the same way they treat you. It doesn’t matter who it is - a relative or just a friend/acquaintance. Take people who hurt you as an example. They are usually just perfect role models. After all, the ability to touch a nerve is a good skill for a cruel person.

What to do with those who communicate with you with kindness and friendliness? Mirroring will not help here - it is a charge of unnecessary positive emotions. Therefore, just follow the example of your offenders: try to distance yourself from such individuals, constantly tell them something offensive and unpleasant. Over time, this will become a habit for you.

What can callousness and indifference lead to?

These moral and psychological characteristics of a person, in their essence, do not carry anything destructive at first glance. A callous person may not do anything wrong, but the results of indifferent behavior are amazing

How many times do we come across statements: “If only they had rushed in earlier...”, “If only they had helped me right away...”, “If only he had been given medical assistance right away...”? Indeed, if you pay attention to a person and his problem a little earlier, you can protect him from fatal mistakes, prevent personal catastrophes, and so on.

B. Yasensky once said a very good phrase on this topic. He clearly notes that enemies can kill in the worst case, friends can betray, but indifferent people are worse than everyone else. They can silently consent to murder and betrayal. You never know what to expect from them. Callousness and indifference can lead to physical and psychological injuries, loss of meaning in life, and death in extreme cases.

Emotional stress

This is a special type of condition. It is characterized by pronounced psycho-emotional experiences of various conflict situations, which carry a long-term restriction on the satisfaction of biological and social needs.

Emotional stress is mainly of social origin. Moreover, their manifestation becomes more frequent with the development of scientific and technological progress. People are affected by the accelerated pace of life, information overload, environmental problems and ever-increasing urbanization. It is worth keeping in mind that emotional stress negatively affects the body, causing various pathological changes in it.

What it is

Trying to understand what callousness is, many begin to confuse this concept with cruelty, arrogance, indifference and many other manifestations of the human personality. The problem is that many negative qualities, based on the manifestation of indifference and lack of involvement in the problems of others, remain incomprehensible to those who have normal sensitivity.

It is important to understand that callousness is the opposite of spiritual openness, although it is not synonymous with it. If in a state of anger a person sees only his own needs, then he still continues to contact and react vividly to others; with social isolation there is a strong desire to avoid others; in callousness there is neither one nor the other

When people's callousness becomes total, society faces extinction, since no one is able to care for others. The question of spiritual openness remains the same, because such callousness not only cannot understand how you can let someone else in or share your innermost things with them, but also in the manifestation of other people it causes surprise on the verge of misunderstanding.

The dependence of the degree of development of such an attitude towards the world has several trends, for example, men have more callousness than women. This is inherent in nature and is necessary for the survival of the species - excessive sensitivity on the battlefield or during a hunt can cost the life of a male and his family, but if callousness is the leading trait of a woman, then the offspring risks not surviving to independent age

The harsher the living conditions, the higher the likelihood of a person turning into a callous and practically insensitive individual, and it does not matter what the severity of the conditions is - in social interaction, strenuous activity or a real threat to life. But modern society promotes openness, tolerance and evaluates such mental manifestations as negative, forgetting that any changes in the psyche are necessary for adaptation and implementation of the task of not only survival as a physical body, but also as a spiritual being

The problem of callousness

The main problem with callousness is that humanity evaluates it by double standards. Remember, when someone barges in on you at an inconvenient time and demands help, it seems that the one who demands participation is far from sensitive and understanding; it is he who is perceived as violating boundaries, not respecting the other’s time and behaving in an inappropriate, insensitive manner. Moreover, when a person himself finds himself in such a situation, a friend who refuses support and chooses his own affairs will seem callous to him.

In matters of interaction between men and women, callousness becomes a stumbling block, and the main complaints come from the ladies. This is a rather dishonest demand, since they need openness and sensitivity exclusively in personal interactions, and in specific situations that only she understands. No one takes into account that if a person is open, then he will be like that to everything, and if he cannot show rigor or indifference, some calmness and resistance to what is happening, then this will be the case not only when problems concern the girl’s mental well-being, but also in any critical situations.

Indifference to its highest degree is callousness, which is why it is perceived as a social problem that requires a solution. It becomes unsafe to live in a society where doctors do not respond to patient complaints, drivers do not monitor safety, people passing by may push or fail to provide first aid in case of a heart attack.

What is indifference

When considering the phenomenon of indifference, one must take into account that the individual’s choice is completely conscious, it is a complete avoidance of taking part in any actions that do not concern him. This is either a refusal to help, or an inability to show support and compassion at a time of extreme need to help people. First of all, this behavior is motivated by fear of obligations. The result of invading the life of strangers may be undesirable reactions, and the kindness shown by you sincerely and unselfishly may turn against you. But there are always risks; when making any decision, we are responsible for the future consequences. So is it worth rejecting people who need us?

Experiencing the indifference shown by others towards us, we feel upset and stop believing in humanity; it is not easy to trust again, what to say about providing help to others when we ourselves did not receive it on time. By refusing help and remaining indifferent, we risk experiencing a feeling of guilt over time, which will leave a detrimental imprint on our lives. Why carry the weight of guilt with you? When there is an opportunity to do good and live with the belief that everything possible has been accomplished.

However, indifference and apathy can occur in absolutely everyone, regardless of character and values. The reason for this behavior is sometimes simple boredom. Boredom can cause a sluggish depressive state; when experiencing it, the individual does not have the required amount of internal resources to assist in the problems of others

A task that you do separately from work or study will help you overcome boredom; finding a task that has become an outlet and will begin to fill you with positive energy and strength is very important. This is due to age, so you can look for an activity that will bring happiness at any period of your life, as well as change it in the future

Human behavior as a social being is strictly regulated by a certain number of hereditary factors. The interaction of a subject with society is a reflection of its characteristics.

To raise a caring person, parents should talk with their child about the manifestation of indifference in life, give examples, discuss various situations and discuss how they can show compassion, provide mutual assistance and understanding. Observe the manifestation of indifference in your child, perhaps by analyzing his interests and hobbies. If there are none, it is advisable to start looking for a favorite activity together, because responsiveness to people is possible when a person develops harmoniously in all areas.

Self-regulation during arousal

Intense emotional states in all people lead to changes in facial expressions, an increase in the tone of skeletal muscles and the rate of speech. The person becomes fussy and makes mistakes in orientation. Not only his breathing and pulse change, but also his complexion.

Regulating emotional states allows you to calm down and take control of your condition. The simplest, but very effective way is to relax the facial muscles. Such self-regulation of emotional states is needed to manage reactions that arise in unforeseen situations.

Thus, reflexively (automatically) at the moment of anger, the facial expression changes and the teeth clench. To eliminate this phenomenon, you need to ask yourself the questions: “Are my teeth clenched?”, “What does my face look like from the outside?” This allows the facial muscles to relax.

Another important reserve of self-regulation is the improvement of breathing. It differs in different situations. A person who sleeps and who works, who is cheerful and angry, who is scared and who is sad, breathes differently. Everything depends on our internal state.

Influencing breathing is considered one of the ways of self-regulation of emotional state. In this case, it is necessary to perform breathing exercises, the meaning of which lies in controlling the frequency, rhythm and depth of inhalations and exhalations. To do this, you will have to hold your breath at different intervals.

You can also regulate your emotional state using visualization. Thanks to it, the imagination is activated, as well as visual, auditory, olfactory, gustatory and tactile sensations. This allows you to escape from the tense situation that has arisen and restore peace of mind.

How to get rid of indifference and callousness?

We must realize what callousness and indifference are. This is blocking various emotions. The development of these qualities may begin in early childhood. There are many reasons for their development, but how to get rid of them?

It is important to stop being offended by anyone or anything. You need to train yourself to let go of everything: both bad and good.

Resentment entails a bundle of unspoken words and emotions. You need to express your emotions in a socially acceptable way. This is not shouting or destruction, but a search for constructive ways to solve problem situations. It is important to recognize and develop good qualities in yourself. We cannot be entirely positive, nor can we be entirely negative. Therefore, you need to develop positive qualities and get rid of negative ones.

By training in empathy, an emotional attitude towards others, and developing the positive around you, you will stop feeling indifference, emptiness and callousness.

Mirroring

Are you often bullied? Or maybe you are simply succumbing to eternal emotional tyranny? Gain strength and courage...and mirror your behavior. Don't be afraid to touch the nerves of your offenders. However, like all other people.

What does it mean? Treat your offenders the same way they treat you. It doesn’t matter who it is - a relative or just a friend/acquaintance. Take people who hurt you as an example. They are usually just perfect role models. After all, the ability to touch a nerve is a good skill for a cruel person.

What to do with those who communicate with you with kindness and friendliness? Mirroring will not help here - it is a charge of unnecessary positive emotions. Therefore, just follow the example of your offenders: try to distance yourself from such individuals, constantly tell them something offensive and unpleasant. Over time, this will become a habit for you.

Theses

  • Heartlessness manifests itself even towards very close people
  • The thirst for profit often leads to heartlessness and dishonorable acts.
  • A person’s spiritual callousness complicates his life in society
  • The reasons for a heartless attitude towards others lie in upbringing
  • The problem of heartlessness and mental callousness can be characteristic not only of an individual, but also of society as a whole.
  • Difficult life circumstances can make a person heartless
  • Often, spiritual callousness manifests itself in relation to moral, worthy people
  • A person admits that he was heartless when nothing can be changed
  • Mental callousness does not make a person truly happy
  • The consequences of a callous attitude towards people are often irreversible

List of personality traits

Human nature is a complex combination of unique traits that forms a unique system. This order includes the most striking, stable personal qualities, revealed in gradations of human-society relationships:

Relationship systemInherent Traits of an Individual
ProsCons
To selfPickinessCondescension
Self-criticismNarcissism
MeeknessBoastfulness
AltruismEgocentrism
To the people around youSociabilityClosedness
ComplacencyCallousness
SincerityDeceit
JusticeInjustice
CommunityIndividualism
SensitivityCallousness
CourtesyShamelessness
To workOrganizationLaxity
MandatoryCluelessness
PerformanceSloppiness
EnterpriseInertia
Hard workLaziness
To itemsEconomyWastefulness
ThoroughnessNegligence
NeatnessNegligence

In addition to the character traits included by psychologists in the gradation of relationships (as a separate category), manifestations of nature in the moral, temperamental, cognitive and sthenic spheres were highlighted:

  • moral: humanity, toughness, sincerity, good nature, patriotism, impartiality, responsiveness;
  • temperamental: passion, sensuality, romance, liveliness, receptivity; passion, frivolity;
  • intellectual (cognitive): analytical, flexible, inquisitive, resourceful, efficient, critical, thoughtful;
  • sthenic (volitional): categoricalness, persistence, obstinacy, stubbornness, determination, timidity, courage, independence.

Many leading psychologists are inclined to believe that some personality traits should be divided into two categories:

  1. Productive (motivational). Such traits push a person to perform certain actions and actions. These are goal-traits.
  2. Instrumental. Giving personality during any activity individuality and method (manner) of action. These are methods-traits.

Gradation of character traits according to Allport

Allport's theory
The famous American psychologist Gordon Allport, an expert and developer of gradations of an individual's personal characteristics, divided personality traits into three classes:

Dominant

. Such traits most clearly reveal the behavioral form: actions, activities of a certain person. These include: kindness, selfishness, greed, secrecy, gentleness, modesty, greed.

Ordinary

. They manifest themselves equally in all numerous areas of human life. These are: humanity, honesty, generosity, arrogance, altruism, egocentrism, cordiality, openness.

Secondary

. These nuances do not have a particular impact on behavioral reactions. These are not dominant behaviors. These include musicality, poetry, diligence, and diligence.

A strong relationship is formed between a person’s existing personality traits. This pattern forms the final character of the individual.

But any existing structure has its own hierarchy. The human warehouse was no exception. This nuance is traced in Allport's proposed gradation structure, where minor traits can be suppressed by dominant ones. But in order to predict an individual’s actions, it is necessary to focus on the entire set of personality traits

.

Basic synonyms of callousness

What callousness is can be understood by the set of moral and psychological characteristics that complement it in relation to people. This word can safely be supplemented with such human characteristics as indifference, indifference, and rudeness. Sometimes callousness can lead to selfishness and hatred. Callousness is a lack of love for someone.

Once a sage was asked the question: “How do you understand the word “callousness”?” To which he replied that callousness equals indifference. Other negative qualities express their attitude towards a person, even if it is negative, but indifference does not express anything; it reduces the relationship to zero, destroying all the good beginnings of relationships between people. It is human nature to need recognition and love. Without experiencing a feeling of need or even uselessness, he dies morally and is internally destroyed. It is callousness and indifference that can kill love. No negative qualities can compare with an indifferent attitude. Anger, hatred, disgust can upset, but they do not deny the existence of a person, an individual. And callousness and indifference figuratively turn him into an empty place. They leave nothing behind.

Forecast

Lack of emotion does not affect life expectancy in any way , but it does reduce the quality of existence.

The prognosis is this: a meager life alone, devoid of bright colors and joyful moments.

First of all, it is difficult for an individual to understand himself. He seems to be experiencing feelings, but they do not fill him with the energy that normal people receive.

Positive emotions motivate, negative emotions allow you to feel threatened and learn from certain situations. A person suffering from alexithymia is deprived of this .

Communication deteriorates noticeably. A person cannot show his own emotions and give an adequate reaction to other people’s remarks. A person is incapable of compassion , as a result of which he becomes dry and soulless.

The logical approach is not always effective; the individual is considered selfish and ruthless.

People around you do not understand how to communicate with someone who does not show emotions and does not discuss them.

Social activity becomes impoverished because there are simply no people in a person’s life who are ready to accept it without emotional intimacy. The result of alexithymia is a monotonous, routine existence.

Life is so predictable that it is literally calibrated step by step, since the individual is not able to find himself in situations in which they act under the influence of emotions.

On the one hand, this, of course, frees you from unforeseen difficulties, but, on the other hand, there is no opportunity to experience unfamiliar situations.

A long-standing affliction of humanity

Let us remember the Holy Scripture, which speaks of the suffering of the Savior. They tortured him for a day, then led him through the entire city and nailed him to a cross. What were the majority of people doing at this time? They, according to the apostle, stood and watched. The murder of the God-Man occurred at the will of thousands of indifferent people. Those invested with power, like Pilate, simple performers, like soldiers, and all those who stood and did nothing. But among them were those who ate the food that the Lord distributed to them, and those whose relatives He healed. As a result, they remained indifferent. Therefore, behind every brutal crime there is indifference - paralysis of the soul, as Chekhov called it. In our time, the time of the spread of this sin, believers should under no circumstances be indifferent.

Dante in The Divine Comedy depicts the fate of the indifferent as follows:

This is the sad lot of those pitiful souls that lived, not knowing neither the glory nor the shame of mortal affairs. And with them a bad flock of angels, That, not rebelling, were not faithful to the Most High, observing the middle. Heaven overthrew them, not tolerating the stain; And the abyss of their Hell does not accept, Otherwise guilt would become proud.

These lines are an example of the fact that indifference is a sin inherent in humanity throughout the history of its existence. Lermontov wrote about the same thing in his poem “Duma”:

We are shamefully indifferent to good and evil, At the beginning of the field we wither without a fight; Before danger we are shamefully cowardly, And before power we are despicable slaves.

Soullessness lies at the basis of all great troubles and misfortunes. We can't be like that. The saints entered the Kingdom of Heaven because they were not indifferent to the evil that they saw around them, to moral vices. This was, for example, John the Baptist: there were many worthy people next to him, but no one told Herod the truth, did not dare to expose him.

Extroverted type.

Perhaps the most sociable type. Such people have a lot of friends and acquaintances with whom they have excellent relationships, because they know how to listen and do not strive to dominate. Very non-conflicting. However, they are somewhat frivolous, like to gossip, and commit rash acts. It is characterized by an appeal to what comes from the outside, the direction of reactions to external stimuli. They are characterized by impulsive actions, joy from communicating with people, and the search for new experiences. Subject to the influence of others, their own opinions are not stable. It is characterized by an appeal to what comes from the outside, the direction of reactions to external stimuli. They are characterized by impulsive actions, joy from communicating with people, and the search for new experiences. Subject to the influence of others, their own opinions are not stable.

Such a person is easily influenced by his environment and is constantly looking for new experiences. The opinions of such people are not persistent, since new thoughts expressed by others are easily taken on faith and are not internally processed. A characteristic feature is impulsiveness of actions.

Causes

Depression

As you know, this is a disease, and it may well deprive a person of not only interest in everything that happens, but also the desire to live

Therefore, it is important to be careful, if a loved one suddenly “fades away”, you should not throw tantrums, scandals, or give arguments and facts of his indifference and callousness

This will only aggravate the situation and can lead to the worst consequences - provoking suicide, as an attempt to finally get rid of suffering. You can learn more about this from the article “How to find a way out of depression yourself: the most effective methods.”

Punishment or manipulation

Yes, in relationships they sometimes resort to similar measures, ceasing to pay attention and give love even for the slightest offenses, wanting to “motivate” to obey and do only as the manipulator wants. Something like carrots and sticks, they either shower you with gifts and compliments, or suddenly become indifferent, ignoring your presence until you realize your mistake and correct yourself.

Something like carrots and sticks, they either shower you with gifts and compliments, or suddenly become indifferent, ignoring your presence until you realize your mistake and correct yourself.

Such traps are usually set by perverse narcissists or psychopathic personalities. By the way, this is also the behavior of a banal egoist, an egocentric person who believes that the whole world revolves only around him, and for him.

Illusions

When a person is hurt, he sometimes has a great desire to be insensitive, so as not to experience disappointment, bitterness, total sadness, and so on. That’s why they become indifferent, people have the illusion that it’s easier to live this way.

For example, it seems that without thinking about where and with whom a loved one spends time, he will be calm and happy. But, in fact, by blocking negative emotions, a person deprives himself of pleasant, positive ones. Indifference can easily kill love; gradual distance and lack of emotions can defeat even the strongest feelings; they will simply fade away until they disappear completely.

Alexithymia

This is a disorder in which a person is not able to feel and track his emotions, he simply does not understand what is happening to him, since he can only think logically, without resorting to sensations and intuition.

Professional burnout

When a person overextends himself at work, he does not have the opportunity to replenish his energy reserves and rest, which over time leads to exhaustion. He simply does not have the resources to feel interest, joy and other feelings.

Psychological trauma

Something may happen that will cause unbearable feelings that a person is simply not able to cope with at a given period, and in order to preserve the psyche, the body, as it were, “turns off” the emotional sphere, freezes it.

Alcohol or drug abuse

Over time, due to any of these types of addictions, the structure of the brain is destroyed, which affects the psyche and emotional sphere. By the way, an excessive amount of medications also leaves its mark on the ability to feel.

Mental disorders

Because of them, a person becomes detached and unable to experience any emotions or sensations, plunging deeply into his own inner world and fantasies.

Personality structure

He was born like this, callous, unable to empathize and generally worry, plus his parents were the same, which is why they didn’t teach him to care, be interested in something, be attentive, etc.

General principles of treatment

A dermatologist can determine the symptoms and treatment of the disease, so when the first symptoms occur, you should go to him for an initial appointment. In addition, specialists of other profiles can be involved in treatment - infectious diseases specialist, surgeon, immunologist, etc.

During the examination, the doctor questions and assesses the patient’s current condition, and also prescribes a number of laboratory tests. The main indicators are a general blood test and bacteriological examination, because the nature of the disease is infectious.

Treatment of erysipelas of the leg, arm or face is not much different. The patient is usually prescribed to take two groups of drugs: antibiotics and antihistamines. Treatment with antibiotics is necessary to eliminate the main cause of the disease - the causative agent of infection, while antihistamines are needed to reduce swelling and eliminate the consequences of intoxication of the body with waste products of bacteria.

Examples of heartlessness

Both literature and cinema, as well as the everyday life of every person, are full of examples of heartlessness. This is due to the fact that those who remain sensitive are extremely outraged and surprised by such a reaction of another person and the ability to interact with the world in this way

All fictitious examples are intended to somehow draw attention to where callousness usually originates, so as not to fight its consequences, but to nip the development of such situations in the bud. These are also attempts to reach those who still have some drops of sensitivity left in them, so that they see the possible negative consequences

For everyone else, it is best to familiarize yourself with the concept of heartlessness using the examples given below in order to recognize this trait in yourself or your loved ones in time.

Heartlessness always manifests itself where help or sympathy is required. For example, if one of the children was asked to care for an animal, but it is boring or difficult for him and he stops feeding the pet, this is not about inattention and age, but about a lack of concern. Finding your own benefit can be in absurd things - not giving up your seat on a transport to an elderly person in order to put your bag and not holding it in your hands, not waiting for a colleague from work, picking up the last car, because you wanted to drink tea.

There is a lack of cordiality in the black humor and sarcasm. When doctors, due to their specialization, are no longer sensitive to death and strong feelings about the health of other people, they can say phrases that plunge patients into a state of quiet horror and numbness. It cannot be said that this is being done on purpose or that the person was striving for this, because those who most empathize with those around them go to treatment, only then burn out in the process.

Mothers who hit their children to stop them crying in the street and disturbing people passing by are also examples of heartlessness, since they choose to maintain their selfish interests (preserving the image of a cultured and nurturing woman who fits into social norms) rather than responding to the needs of the child.

This quality of character does not necessarily have to manifest itself at the level of personal interaction between people who are familiar and significant to each other, it’s just there that it hurts the most. On the street they may push you and say that it is their own fault, they may ignore a request for directions or to find a pharmacy - these are small manifestations that concern everyone.

Absolute cordiality is helping all those who ask and need, even when they are silent, it is worrying about the fate of the people of the world, located a meter away and on another continent. It is impossible to withstand such stress, no heart can contain so much pain, so protection in the form of heartlessness, indifference, callousness is triggered, helping an individual to survive. The main problem is how strongly this or that polarity is manifested and how relevant it is to the situation.

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Emotional states of adolescents

Children from the age of 13-14 develop a special trait. It is characterized by the intensity and severity of emotional states. A teenager can literally wallow in his own grief, guilt or anger for a long time. Children of this age have an increased need for sensations. Moreover, all experienced feelings should be not only strong, but also new. Often this is expressed in a love of loud music or leads to the first acquaintance with drugs.

This or that emotional state of adolescents is characterized by ease of occurrence. However, in the process of personality formation, its connections with the outside world become more complex and multi-valued. With the ever-increasing level of human organization, his emotional sensitivity increases. And the circle of those factors that caused a feeling of excitement in a teenager does not narrow with age, but, on the contrary, expands.

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