TOP 7 ways to get your ex back after a breakup so that she understands her mistake

“People meet, people fall in love, get married...” However, often the development of relationships does not correspond to the quote from the famous song. Couples very often quarrel and, unfortunately, break up. But sometimes, especially if the separation was initiated by the beloved girl, this state of affairs does not suit her partner. And so a man is trying to find a way to return his beloved woman if life without her has lost all meaning.

This is, of course, a very difficult task, requiring a huge investment of time and effort, but nothing is impossible. Using the tips and recommendations below, you can get the woman you love back, even if she doesn’t want to communicate with her ex-partner.

Is it necessary to return the girl at all?

Despite the strength of the initial impulse, this desire may turn out to be a mistake. Most likely, you didn’t break up out of nowhere.

If it was an impulsive gesture on her or your part, everything is a little simpler; you can cool down and decide to return the relationship.
But if they broke up due to a serious conflict, the chances are slim.

You can always contact a specialist who will help you deal with this problem once and for all. On the website psy-chat.ru, they will select a trusted psychologist for you in 5 minutes and you can have a 20-minute consultation. It's absolutely free!

The main thing you need to realize is that you broke up when you noticed something in the girl that you are not ready to put up with, that you cannot stand in her. Or maybe she noticed something like that in you. This means that you will return not to the loved one with whom you were before this event, but to the person with whom you cannot be together - by your own decision. This is why stories about getting back with exes end in failure in most cases.

There is also a factor of distrust - you have already separated once, which means that someone (or both) will always be a little in limbo. Will this happen again? How much is your (or her) word worth? After the first breakup, it will be much easier to decide on a second one - due to nerves and mistrust.

Therefore, there are only two cases when it is really worth getting your ex back:

you broke up over an obvious trifle and you love this girl. Whoever initiated the breakup
you can't let her go the first time. The thought that you need to return everything haunts you, and you need a second visit to make sure that the person is not yours and you need to break up with him

Therefore, think several times before you decide to act in such a way that the girl wants to return. Read the article on how to win a woman once and for all.

Reasons for separation

If you are determined to get your girlfriend back, try to find out the exact reason for the breakup.

Identifying the source of the problem is already half the success. It is best, of course, to find out the motive for the action first-hand, but if the ex-lover does not make contact, you will have to figure it out on your own or make an appointment with a psychologist.

What reasons for separation can be identified?

Lack of trust. Relationship psychology states that couples that lack trust will sooner or later break up. Incessant jealousy, constant monitoring of a girl’s every step, monitoring her correspondence online or via SMS will definitely lead to a break in the relationship.
Lie. It is difficult to meet girls who could easily forgive deception and betrayal. If your ex-lover found out about your affair, you shouldn’t be surprised that she decided to break off your relationship.
Love is over. “Falling out of love” is an extremely painful reason for separation for a man’s pride. It hurts even more if the ex-darling left for someone else.
Partner's selfishness. Any patience is not unlimited, so at a certain moment even the quietest and most modest girl can rebel due to male inattention.
Obsession with previous relationships. If a man maintains close contact with his previous girlfriend, his current girlfriend may view this extremely negatively. Women are especially irritated by comparisons with former lovers.

Of course, this is not a complete list of possible reasons for a breakup. One can also recall the discrepancy in characters, the unwillingness to give in to each other, or to compromise. It is important to understand the heap of problems and find the main motive for a woman’s action.

Top 7 ways to get your girl back

I share behavioral strategies that will help you regain the love and interest of your ex-wife or girlfriend. Choose one or mix several, but don’t try to apply everything at once - this will cause confusion rather than a desire to restore the relationship.

Be honest. The best strategy if you are really worried. Come to her or call her, tell it like it is. Think about what you are willing to do to get this relationship back, and say that too. Talk as much as possible - women love to listen, and it is important for them to understand what is going on with you. But do not forget that everything said must be true. If you promise something, keep it. Think in advance what you want to say, what you are ready for, spend at least a few days searching for the right words.
Show how the breakup affected you. This is pressure for pity, but if you frame it correctly and show how you really regret the breakup and suffer from it, there is a high chance of melting her heart and trying to continue the relationship. To produce the desired effect, you look unimportant, speak feelingly, but inaudibly and inappropriately, giving the impression of a person who has lost the most important thing in life.
Return to her differently. Contrasting previous strategy. Wait some time (more than a week), and be calm and confident during the conversation. Tell her that she is very dear to you, and that you have weighed everything and know how to solve the problems that caused you to break up. Emphasize that it is more important than some life principles. Behave like a person who has changed or decided to change: try not to do what usually infuriated her, at least at the stage of the first conversation. The longer you hold out, the greater the chance that everything will work out.
Make them jealous, and then meet them halfway. Make sure she sees you in the company of another girl or even several. Come across as someone who is trying to move on from a breakup in the company of others. Don’t drag out this game: after just a few days or a week, you can come and say that no one has ever had or will have as good a time as she does. In this case, she may be bribed by knowledge of your experience - you really preferred her to other girls.
Get out of her life. Right there, as soon as we separated. Fully. Finally and irrevocably. Don’t get in touch, don’t write or call yourself, don’t answer her. Break off contact as much as possible, do not cross paths or interact at all. Do not let anyone hear news about you - as much as possible. The girl will start to get bored, your complete absence will be a shock for her, and she herself will try to win you back. By deciding to part as friends, you give her a chance to get used to your absence. At least as a young man. And in this situation, she will be so uncomfortable that she herself will take a step towards you, and this way you will force her to return.
Remind her of something good. Write that you remembered one of the pleasant moments in your relationship. Describe it in detail and in such a way that she feels how warmly you remember it and treat her.
Act like a friend. You probably still have something in common - friends, hobbies, maybe even things. Continue to communicate, but do not show her any signs of attention - deliberately maintain a friendly distance. And when she herself wants to break it, let her do it, agree that you would also like to return everything.

What needs to be done to get it back

There is a simple action plan that will help you avoid being scammed. You are unlikely to get a girl back if she doesn't want it. But by following this plan, you will do everything right and get the best quality result.

Be alone. At least a couple of weeks. Bring your feelings and thoughts into relative order, get over the breakup, think about everything.
Give yourself some attention. Devote these two weeks or more to activities that bring you joy. Enjoy life and freedom, do what you love, remember how bachelors live and why this lifestyle is also good.
Think about the reasons for the breakup. Where there was incompatibility, where patience ran out, where there was no way out. If we are talking about a girl who left you, think about what finally brought her down.
Contact her if after the first three points the desire to return everything to normal has not disappeared. Show a positive and light attitude when calling or texting, and talk about serious things when you meet.
Keep your face up when meeting. Act like you're going out for coffee with a friend—even if it's hard. Don't create drama. Show her the guy she fell in love with, not the guy she broke up with.
Continue seeing each other if you haven’t changed your mind even after the meeting. Follow your feelings - do you really need to return everything, or is it an obsession with an idea, or a hunter's instinct.
Lay out all the cards after a few irregular meetings. Tell them that you went through a breakup, came to conclusions, changed and still want to be together. Convince that you are working on yourself, that you have heard her words and are ready to change.
Having received consent, start working on the relationship to avoid previous mistakes and not make new ones. Talk about what is happening, gently criticize each other, and be patient.

What to write to a girl to get her back

Before you sit down to write a message, find out what should not be in it:

Outbursts of emotions and rudeness. You may actually hate your ex. But if you let her know about it and at the same time scold her somehow stronger, it is unlikely that she will ever want to talk to you again
Spam. A constant stream of messages about everything. Feelings, weather, memories, thoughts, plans
Drama-queen mode. Don’t write about the fact that she broke your heart, that you only experienced such pain as a child at the dentist, and now it’s a little worse, that you want to lose weight, that without her the world has become dim, and you have lost your zest for life. Don't humiliate yourself

If you still couldn’t resist and made some of these mistakes, write something like “Sorry, I wasn’t myself. In addition to the breakup, more troubles piled up, so I lost it. Good luck". Laconically ask for forgiveness and put an end to the correspondence with the last phrase.

It makes sense to wait about a month with the first message. By showing up early, you will be putting yourself in the weak position of pursuing the girl and giving her all the power to decide what to do with you and the relationship.

A month without communication will change your places:

it is she who will seek your attention,
worry why you don't respond to messages,
pursue and depend.

In addition, in a month you both will have time to cool down and understand a lot about each other and the relationship.

Remember a few rules of correspondence:

Don't respond to messages immediately. Wait from 15 minutes to a couple of hours so as not to show that you are waiting for her answers.
Answer concisely. Write something that will help continue the conversation, but avoid long texts about feelings, thoughts and events.
The past is in the past. Don’t start a showdown about relationships, don’t ask if she has someone now, don’t touch on conflicting topics. Talk about what's relevant and what interests her. Be sincere.

Here are five examples of messages that are suitable for starting communication and fit into all the stated rules:

"Hello. I'm planning to go on vacation to Turkey, I remember that you know good places there. I would be very grateful if you recommend anything. Maybe we can meet for coffee for 10 minutes?”
"Hello. I'm starting to renovate a room and don't know what to do in the end. Can you help a little with ideas? You've always been great at designing interiors. We can discuss this over a cup of coffee, it won’t take much time.”
"Hello. Do you remember the name of the restaurant we went to around October? I want to go there with my friend, but I forgot the name and where it is. You would be very helpful"
“I recently saw kids at an amusement park and remembered how we squealed on the roller coaster. Hope you are fine"
“Remember when we went out for the first picnic that season? And a butterfly landed on your knee, and you got scared. I still laugh at this moment, it’s one of the warmest memories of the past year.”

“Drunk” calls and messages6

The effect of alcohol works wonders. From somewhere comes courage, which is sometimes so lacking in ordinary sober life. Jokes aside, a woman calling under the influence of alcohol says a lot. At times, it doesn’t resemble a declaration of love, but rather another debriefing with a personal touch. The girl may begin to throw accusations at you and point out all the mistakes that led to this outcome for your relationship. In addition, she will definitely express everything about your behavior today. If she recently saw you with some girl, then be prepared to hear how terrible she is. In a particularly difficult case, incriminating evidence has already been collected on your potential companion, which will fall on you with inexorable force. And a drunken friend can gloat and wish him good luck with such a passion.

As you can see, it doesn’t matter at all whether it’s a sad conversation or a frank confession, gentle words or reproaches. Either way, she cares. She has resentment, regret, and this means that she still has feelings for you.

Trying to reconnect while drunk is a desperate step. The girl simply cannot reach you any other way. And alcohol is just a catalyst for her frankness.

Interestingly, a drunk male call is strikingly different from a female call. A man who calls his ex while drunk does not always want to get the relationship back. Most likely, he was overcome by sweet nostalgia, which is located just below the belt. It’s no secret that under the influence of alcohol, feelings become aggravated, and for guys this aggravation is expressed in a rather unique way: they simply want sex.

It is not surprising that a man ignores a drunk woman’s call, since he broadcasts her behavior through his own prism of perception. Do not do it this way. We are all different. And male and female logics differ strikingly. So, calling after a few glasses of wine or something else means that your ex has taken a desperate step. It's up to you to seize the moment or miss it.

How to get a girl back if she has someone else

When your ex is no longer single, it may be more difficult to get her back.

If you broke up recently, then most likely she began dating someone in order to forget you and plunge into a new crush, instead of painfully going through the breakup.
If several months have already passed, then she could well come to her senses and consciously enter into another relationship - and then your chances are slim. Better register on the dating site EmilyDates and start a new relationship.

In such a situation, a man has two main levers: to prove better than his current partner and to remind him of how good it was together. You'll have to work hard on yourself and get rid of those habits that caused you to break up and that irritated her. It won’t hurt to find out what you might be better at than her new guy, what he might infuriate her in, so you can use this to your advantage.

To begin with, shorten the distance a little, appear sporadically in her life without the slightest hint of courtship or signs of attention.
Ask for advice, share news, take an interest in her life - unobtrusively.
Don't bring up past relationships and don't try to seem like a threat to your current ones.
Then close the distance further, become her friend and support, be perfect and do not pretend to be her lover.

At some point there will be a breakdown in her relationship, and out of weakness she will tell you about it. This is where you will pull out your trump cards: you will say that you have changed, rethought everything that happened between you, appreciate her no matter what and think that she deserves the best (try in advance and at this moment to demonstrate that the best is you).

Remind them of how good you had it together. Show and prove that you have changed and heard her. Most likely, she will become emotional, and you will be able to get her back.

Psychologist's advice

If a girl has fallen out of love, but it is not possible to return her feelings and affection, then the advice of a psychologist will help:

Realize the mistakes you made in relationships. Determine why your beloved left, what specifically did not suit her. It's not difficult, because she explained why she was breaking up with you. Then change your behavior and, most importantly, prove to her that you have improved.
Be polite. Even if you are angry and very worried, this is not a reason to insult, swear, or rudely grab your hands. No woman will forgive such behavior.
Do not humiliate yourself. There is no need to follow on your heels, cry, or beg to come back. Such a man is not worthy of respect.
Don't be jealous. You don't have the right to do this. Showing jealousy to your ex is exposing yourself to ridicule.
Don't use another person . Some people try to make their ex jealous by starting an affair with a new girl. But, firstly, this can only scare you away, and secondly, you cannot play on the feelings of an innocent person. It's not fair.
Take a break. Take up a new hobby. Maybe your loved one will realize who she has lost and will return to you with an apology.

Believe me, you can return the feelings that she had for you to a girl, and it is quite possible to make your new relationship better than the last. You are required not to make mistakes, develop a plan and strictly follow it.

How to get back a girl you left behind

It’s easier for a girl who dumped you on her own to change her mind. If you were the initiator of the breakup, the power over the future of the relationship remains in your hands. The partner is afraid of this - she doesn’t like that they can control her, move her away and bring her closer at will. Therefore, either she, out of strong feelings, will strive to return the relationship, or she will resist this as much as possible.

Your strategy is to convince her that you are not as scoundrel as you seem. You need to convince the girl that she is safe - and this can be difficult. Even if she wants you back, she will still be afraid that you will decide to leave her again.

Approach carefully: find out how she feels, give her time to suffer and get angry with you. At this time, do not get in touch, then check her well-being and apologize as pompously and pompously as possible. It’s difficult for an abandoned girl to believe in her worth and in your desires - convince her of them. Gestures, help, expensive gifts or promises - whatever she perceives better.

In any case, you will always have the opportunity to choose the best dating site and register on it to meet the girl you like.

Do you often feel the desire to get your ex back?
Were you able to build a long-term relationship the second time around?
Do you believe that you can find happiness twice with the same person?