How to become insensitive: how to turn into a cold and unemotional person

The main reason is the reluctance to experience pain from betrayal and insults, which can cause mental trauma and negatively affect self-esteem.

In fact, the path to a minimum amount of emotions is not easy, but in this article we will look at ways in which this can be achieved.

Transfer to another

If circumstances are such that you have to constantly communicate with a rude and irritable boss, try to predict his reaction and avoid dangerous situations. If this does not work out, silently imagine that instead of you he is throwing thunder and lightning at someone else who is temporarily in your place: for example, at your nasty neighbor in the stairwell. When the anger subsides, the boss himself will be ashamed of his behavior and will be especially attentive to you. In addition, people who can be yelled at without consequences are usually highly valued in the team and any concessions are made to them - after all, they are so rare! Take comfort in this thought if you cannot change your boss.

How to become an emotionless cold creature?

In addition to the fact that the lifestyle of an insensitive person means that it is almost impossible to offend him, spiritual coldness has additional advantages:

Let's look at how you need to restructure your behavior and attitude towards life in order to become an insensitive scum.

How to become calm and learn to control your emotions is described in the video:

Cultivating selfishness

From childhood we were taught that selfishness is a very bad quality. Children are taught to share their toys or even give them to semi-familiar playmates in the sandbox, because “you need to share” and “are you greedy?”

The same goes for delicious food that I wanted to eat myself, and not give more than half to my parents or brothers/sisters. This is how individuals grow up who are always ready to sacrifice their interests in order for society to consider them good.

Causes of mental callousness and indifference

Indifference is not a disease, so it is impossible to list clear reasons and make a correct diagnosis. Moreover, indifference is usually incurable. Each indifferent person has his own story, because of which he stopped responding to the hardships of others; each case is unique in its own way. However, there are some main reasons why people are indifferent:

• Indifference as a method of self-defense due to multiple emotional and mental traumas previously suffered;
• Lack of understanding of someone else’s situation, inability to empathize with it due to the lack of similar life experience;
• Physical and psychological reasons - alcoholism and drug addiction, mental retardation, mental disorders;
• Short-term severe stress due to physical injury or death of a loved one;
• Lack of support, love and even violence from relatives - in childhood or in a married couple.

These are just some of the reasons that answer the question of why people have become indifferent.

Cultivate selfishness

An insensitive person should not care about anything. Stop paying attention to the events that happen in the lives of friends and loved ones, stop taking part in improving their personal lives, and so on. Again, this is none of your business. In the end, you will be indifferent to everything, you will develop an egoist in yourself, the world will revolve only around you.

It will be difficult at first, but conscience and shame will quickly leave you. Do only what benefits you, make contacts only if you need them, look down on people and go over their heads. Nothing should stop you from achieving your goal. Especially if it’s someone else’s problem. This doesn't concern you.

Reasons for indifference

This behavior is often provoked by fear of responsibility and subsequent obligations that may arise as a reaction to the help provided to another person. There are other concerns, expressed in the ingratitude of people who received help. Reasons may include severe upheavals that occurred in the recent past, shock or stress, or the death of a loved one. Often this condition is caused by the use of alcoholic beverages or drugs.

Indifference to life, lack of empathy for the pain of other people often lies in family relationships and begins in childhood, when there is violence, despotism, cruel upbringing on the part of parents, and inability to find a common language with the child. Lack of attention, care, affection in childhood and adolescence can serve as a significant reason that a child will grow up not only passive, but also cruel, showing aggression towards the people who surround him.

Children look at their parents' behavior from the very beginning. A person is not born indifferent. Some are taught from an early age to be independent and trust only themselves, thus cultivating selfishness in the child. Others are overprotected, which creates a situation where their own needs come before everything else. Such upbringing and incorrect attitude towards your child are often the reason for his subsequent indifference to the needs of other people.

Focus completely on yourself

Love, peace and happiness come from interacting with others, from what you can give to the world. But why give to others if you want to be unhappy? Stop giving! No matter what you have, never share it with others. Also, don't try to help others in any way, just focus on your own personal gain.

And of course, compete with others whenever possible and use them as much as possible as a stepping stone to your own success!

Unlucky day

Sometimes the reason some people get angry is simply a bad day. For example, a person overslept, so he is a little late for work, then spilled a cup of coffee on his new suit, got stuck in an elevator, etc. Can this day be called a good day? Perhaps the second half of the day will be the happiest in recent times, but the “victim” does not know this yet. So it turns out that he begins to “take his anger out” on everyone who comes to his hand. Of course, not all people do this, but only those who cannot control themselves. But we must admit that each of us has moments when our nerves simply give out (especially if the troubles drag on for a long time). Therefore, you should treat rude people condescendingly, since at this stage they have problems, not you.

Books, singing together, and other ways to bond with your child

5 simple rules from environmentalists: what not to do when celebrating the New Year

Bathroom decor idea: making a towel rack out of old valves

How to become insensitive and cold?

A cold person very rarely shows emotions, so you will always need to control them. You should always have the same facial expression. You should also not develop your eloquence; your speech should be dry. Try to communicate with people less often, use a certain set of phrases in conversation. Talk less, listen more: this way you will spend less vital energy, and to others you will seem like a stern person.

Return to past suffering

When a person decides to become cold and insensitive, most likely someone has touched him to the core. Of course, he immediately became apathetic. To prolong this state, you need to constantly return to the pain you experienced. As a result, over time you will show less and less of your feelings and emotions. Subsequently, you will get used to this state, and it will become quite normal for you.

Immerse yourself in misery

Have you noticed that people working in hospitals and morgues know how to distance themselves from pain and suffering, they simply get used to it. You can get a job like this and experience people's suffering. Over time, you will get used to the pain and will not notice it. You won't even notice how much you've changed. You will no longer be touched by the tears, pleas, lamentations of others, you will not care.

Don't pay any attention to anything

To become a cold person, it is enough to simply not pay attention to events and people. You should not care what happens to your loved ones and friends. Of course, at first it will be difficult, but you can always concentrate on yourself. In this case, you can even cultivate an egoist in yourself. This will be the best solution, then the whole world will revolve only around you. Look down on people, do what benefits you, go above and beyond, no matter what.

Refuse to help people

You shouldn't help people even if they need your help. After all, this is not profitable for you, and besides, this way you will bring benefits to people, which means you will experience positive emotions. But you don’t need them, because it awakens feelings and attachment. This is of no use to you, since you are a cold person, this should not be characteristic of you.

Let's say no to help

A very interesting fact - refusing to help someone instantly makes you a cruel, bad person. Even if you really are simply unable to help or refuse for some specific, justified reasons. This means that in order to figure out how to become an insensitive creature, you just need to not help people. That is, in general. Absolutely. Even in small things. Remember: helping is very unprofitable. Especially close people. They often demand things from you that will cause you harm. In addition, practical help awakens positive emotions. And this is of no use to you. After all, the main task facing you is to completely get rid of emotions.

Please note that you must always refuse. And even if help is vital. Initially this will not be easy. But over time you will get used to it. By the way, very often such a step makes life much easier. You will not do anything to the detriment of yourself.

What is hypersensitivity and how to live with it

Approximately every fifth individual is characterized by increased psychological vulnerability, and this applies not only to humans. Higher vertebrates can also be divided into two groups - sensitive and more coarse. The latter are determined and more often willing to take risks. We humans are divided not only by gender, but also by belonging to one of two psychological types. And the difference between these types is often greater than between the sexes.

Lack of attention

The second rule is not to pay attention to anything. Neither for people, nor for any events. Forget about holidays, about relatives, about friends. Sometimes it is enough to fail to congratulate someone on their birthday once for you to be considered cold-blooded.

Yes, it will be difficult at the very beginning. Especially when your favorite holiday comes or some bright, joyful, emotional event occurs. But you should not just ignore it, but meet it with complete indifference. Until you learn this, you will not become an insensitive person. After all, such people usually rarely show their emotions. Most often, their faces show complete indifference to everything.

Signs of indifference

The problem of indifference can affect anyone who finds themselves in a difficult life situation. In modern society, indifference is gradually becoming the norm of behavior, for which almost no one is held accountable. When a person passes by someone else's misfortune indifferently, without showing any interest, without trying to provide all possible help, this often causes misunderstanding among caring people. Such signs of indifference sometimes indicate mental disorders or character traits: passivity, apathy. They appear:

• in cynicism;
• lack of empathy;
• prudence.

Even if a criminal offense is committed in front of such a person, he will convince himself that this is not his business and that these problems should be dealt with exclusively by the police. Lack of civic responsibility among people has a negative impact and deteriorates the quality of life of the entire society.

Why are people sad

Sadness can arise for various reasons. These may be biological factors or a certain psychological state. In order not to have to waste time looking for the causes and problems associated with mood changes, you need to take care of your own health and improve the quality of your life.

It is worth understanding that people who suffer from chronic diseases or do not get the necessary vitamins are more susceptible to sadness. Our emotional state directly depends on the physical state of the body.

A healthy lifestyle promotes the release of various hormones that improve well-being and also lead to changes in mood. Thus, we get enough energy to lead a full life.

Proper nutrition and a healthy lifestyle are very helpful in coping with sadness. If you spend a lot of time in the office, or sit at home a lot, then you need to think about walking in the fresh air. It's very calming and helps you to be positive.

What does emotional competence consist of?

EQ is built on four components:

• Self-awareness . The main "ingredient". High self-awareness allows a person to recognize his strengths and weaknesses, weak and strong traits, his own needs, goals, and motives.
• Self-control . It stems from self-awareness. A person who has studied himself learns to manage his emotions. Although they are initially driven by biological mechanisms, it is quite possible to learn to take control of them. The ability of self-regulation allows you to free yourself from the “fetters of feelings.” People capable of self-control can always pull themselves together and not succumb to despondency or excessive euphoria.
• Empathy . This ability is already aimed at communication. It means the ability to understand the feelings of others, manage relationships, having knowledge of the emotions of another person.
• Relationship skills . This can also be called communication skills. Some people confuse this trait with friendliness. In part, this is correct, but we are talking about friendliness, which pursues a specific goal. It is associated with establishing mutually beneficial relationships.

Do you need coldness?

Before you become a cold person, think carefully about this. You may have been hurt, brought a lot of pain, but by becoming insensitive, you decide the joys only for yourself. Try to let go of the situation and forgive the one who offended you. Look at the world with love, bless all the good things you have and smile. After all, you have you, and together you will definitely cope with all adversities and be happy. It just takes time, the wounds will heal, and joy and happiness will come into life.

To people in general, if you just want to be alone with yourself. However, if you are trying to be “heartless,” then you are most likely trying to get out of an unhealthy relationship with a partner or family member. In this case, you must be clearly aware that you are closing yourself off from the person both emotionally and physically. Also, constantly remind yourself why “coolness” is a necessary but temporary measure to regain control of your life.

Not everything is given

Just take your time. First, think carefully about whether this is how you want to rid yourself of emotions. They are often more difficult to restore than to eliminate. By the way, not everyone is given the gift of being insensitive.

Remember: few people experience a true absence of emotions. Usually cruelty and composure are in a person’s blood. If there is a predisposition to these traits, then solving our today’s issue will be easy and simple. Otherwise, you will literally step on your own throat and your internal structure.

Often sympathetic, kind people think about how to become an insensitive person. And not vindictive. They will have to work very seriously on themselves. As practice shows, such people are not able to really bring the idea to life. Only for a while. And then there will be a feeling of guilt inside. But true composure does not allow this.

Mirroring

Are you often bullied? Or maybe you are simply succumbing to eternal emotional tyranny? Gain strength and courage...and mirror your behavior. Don't be afraid to touch the nerves of your offenders. However, like all other people.

What does it mean? Treat your offenders the same way they treat you. It doesn’t matter who it is - a relative or just a friend/acquaintance. Take people who hurt you as an example. They are usually just perfect role models. After all, the ability to touch a nerve is a good skill for a cruel person.

What to do with those who communicate with you with kindness and friendliness? Mirroring will not help here - it is a charge of unnecessary positive emotions. Therefore, just follow the example of your offenders: try to distance yourself from such individuals, constantly tell them something offensive and unpleasant. Over time, this will become a habit for you.

An outlet for anger

Constantly “hiding” grievances within oneself can produce the most destructive effect on the body. Therefore, choose a different tactic - try to discharge yourself. Anything that helps relieve stress and relax is suitable for this: go to the gym, sauna, take a contrast shower. You can even break dishes or beat a pillow.

Expert opinion.

After analyzing Goleman's work, psychology experts determined that the effectiveness of management activities depends 85% on EQ and only 15% on IQ. By developing emotional competence, a leader can view his own emotionality and his subordinates as a resource that can be used to increase productivity.

It is necessary to understand that EQ is not literally related to the emotionality that everyone is accustomed to. When defining it, the phrase “emotional intelligence” is inseparable. For example, an overly temperamental person may have a low EQ, while calm and outwardly unemotional people tend to have a high EQ.

When assessing emotional intelligence, the following are taken into account:

• the ability to immerse oneself in one’s own emotions, feel them, live them;
• the ability to rationally analyze one’s feelings and make decisions based on logic.

A person with developed EQ is able to maintain a balance between feelings and logic. In a critical situation, they do not give in to anger, despair, despondency, irritability, but know how to pull themselves together and make a decision or produce a result.

According to Salovey and Mayer, intelligence and emotions cannot be opposed, as many are accustomed to doing, they are closely intertwined, and a person’s success not only in business, but also in the interpersonal sphere depends on their correct interaction.

Full control

Here is the golden rule that you should always remember. If you want to understand how to become emotionless, you need to take control of all your emotions. How exactly to do this? There is no exact algorithm here. Just a few tips.

First, choose a profession that forces you to suppress your emotions. For example, a doctor. There they will be able to teach you some things that will help bring our today's idea to life.

Various psychological courses and trainings are also a good way to control emotions. They are called “Emotions under control.” True, they teach more to restrain negativity. But similar principles can be interpreted for positive feelings.

In the end, try to keep everything good inside yourself and suppress it. Think: “Everything is bad.” And repeat this to yourself constantly. Even if everything is just great. Sooner or later you will notice how you have learned to control your emotions. In this case, all that remains is to always maintain a stony, emotionless face when communicating.

This is all. Just before you become cruel and insensitive, think carefully about whether you really need it. It will be more difficult to regain your emotions. Pain is always easier to endure than to drown out.