How to become a leader? 3 effective exercises to become a leader and develop leadership skills

As practice shows, teams accomplish more than any one person working alone. We rely on teams to solve complex problems, be it in business, sports, medicine, or even our personal lives. Being a leader in a team is important to our career development, but what are the traits of an effective team player? What makes a person be a leader who is trusted and relied upon by the entire team?

If you decide to achieve a leadership position in your team , then you need a certain set of characteristics that create professional value. In this article, we'll look at behaviors you can practice to become an invaluable leader in your team.

Who is a leader?

A leader is a person with authority in a group of people, a team, or a team. The leader motivates the team to complete tasks and achieve certain results, strives for personal success, the success of a project or group.

A striking example of leadership is Natalya Fefilova, development director of 404 Group. Natalya told us about her development as a leader.

Natalya created a department whose employees were actively lured away by competitors in the market. Having a note in a resume that a person worked for a company became the best recommendation when applying for a new job.

In difficult, crisis conditions in the company, Natalya managed to retain the team, unite employees (and clients) and survive for 1.5 years. Clients and employees literally became advocates for the brand because Natalya interacted with them personally a lot. In the absence of a vision from business owners, she came up with a model of “small visions” to give the team the vision for the very future that was needed.

Learn self-control

You can't control people if you don't control yourself. For example, when a project deadline is running out, everything falls apart because you don’t know how to manage your time and yourself. You snap at the team, even though it’s your own fault. Therefore, learn to control your emotions even in difficult situations.

What will you get?

Strong nerves, a cool head and a reputation as a collected leader.

What qualities should a leader have?

The strengths of a leader are:

• Confidence . A leader is always confident in his own abilities and in critical situations he acts boldly and decisively.
• Charisma . A charismatic leader is able to make a strong impression on others, charm and inspire success.
• Coolness . The ability to remain cool in any situation is one of the main advantages of a leader.
• Self-control. A leader must be able to withstand mood swings and be able to pull himself together.
• Persistence . In achieving goals, perseverance and perseverance are a plus for a leader.
• Determination . A true leader must be decisive and capable of taking reasonable risks. The strong qualities of a leader help him achieve great success in life.

Every person, even a leader, has his own weaknesses. For example, excessive self-criticism or “delusions of grandeur.” The main thing is to recognize your weaknesses in time and start working on them.

Flexibility

To prevent your persistence from turning into obstinacy, it is worth developing another systemic quality of a leader - flexibility. This is the ability to switch and easily abandon non-working strategies. A leader always has a “Plan B” and a “Plan C” in case something goes wrong. One of the most important soft skills in a world where every day is different from the previous one.

How to improve flexibility

BOOKS:

• Susan David, Emotional Flexibility. How to learn to enjoy change and enjoy work and life"
• Gareth Moore Brain Trainer. How to develop flexible thinking in 40 days"
• Srini Pillay “Jew's harp, sprinkle, marai and taste. Unlock the power of a relaxed brain"

VIDEO:

• Tatyana Vladimirovna Chernigovskaya “ Training the brain: speed, cognitive flexibility, decision making ”
• Irina Khakamada, blog about leadership on YouTube in general and answer to the question “ How to develop flexibility ” in particular

QUESTIONS AND ASSIGNMENTS:

• What topic do you understand best? Find someone who wants to dive into it and try to teach them.
• Remember what games you loved when you were a child? Find games that you might have also enjoyed as a child. With age, a person loses flexibility - and we’re not just talking about physical abilities.
• Imagine that another person was in your place - fictional or real. What would he do first? What would you say to the people around you, how would you solve current problems?

What does a leader do?

A leader always clearly sees the goal and plans the optimal stages to achieve it. He analyzes and soberly assesses the current situation. Motivates, inspires and controls the team. A leader knows how to admit his guilt for wrong actions. The leader works on mistakes and looks for ways to resolve them.

A striking example of effective leadership is Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple. He was a tough and demanding leader. Jobs was obsessed with making the best products and bringing them to perfection. He paid attention to the smallest details in everything. Steve Jobs charged those around him with enthusiasm. Created an atmosphere of cohesion in the team, where each subordinate contributed to achieving goals. He was one of the world's outstanding leaders.

Keeping your distance

Familiarity has never been welcomed in business; the manager must keep his distance. Winning the love and respect of the team through warm communication and friendships is the simplest, but not the most effective method.

It is important to be able to achieve favor in more honest ways:

• Be able to admit your own mistakes. The leader is also a simple person, he tends to make mistakes, so it is important not to shift responsibility for failures to other people;
• It is necessary to be consistent and clearly state your train of thought. There must be mutual understanding between the manager and employees;
• Familiarity should not be allowed. Of course, it is necessary to constantly communicate with subordinates and be able to find an approach to everyone. Informal relationships with the team do not in any way affect the company’s productivity.

What skills and abilities does a leader have?

Here are a few key leadership skills:

1. Ability to persuade and inspire . It is one of the key qualities of a leader. A leader must be able to inspire the team and convince them that they can achieve any goal.
2. The ability to make decisions and take responsibility for them . By the way, a leader is responsible not only for making the right decision, but also for his team.
3. Skills for setting and achieving goals. In the endless race for success, it is very important to discern the desired goal, develop a strategy and achieve results.
4. The ability to concentrate on what is most important. Concentrating on the problem and its solution, and not being distracted by other tasks, is an important skill for a leader. Without this, you can forget about success in all matters.
5. Listening skills. Also, the basis for success is the ability to listen, hear and interact with the team.

These skills are essential to becoming a leader. Therefore, try to develop them as much as possible.

How to take the lead in communication: a step-by-step technique

All actions can be divided into 3 steps.

Step 1: assess the situation and determine the leader of the group

The most important mistake is that a person begins to “push an idea,” seduce a girl in a group, try to lead, etc., contrary to the principles and beliefs of the current leader. And no matter what he does, the group will act based on the latter's instructions.

Therefore, as soon as we join the team, we observe. Let's figure out the main one. We do not know this person personally: who he is and what he is capable of, but we see the group’s reaction to the words and actions of this person. So, the leader has been identified. What do we do next?

Step 2: overthrow the leader

A head-to-head attack is a mistake. Conflict is a mistake. The group will destroy you as it follows the leader. Here you need to act competently and cunningly in order to:

1. “Openly” does not disgrace or bring down a leader.
2. Get support for any of your actions from the group (remember, we always interact with the group).
3. Turn everything into a positive (no negativity!).

There are several ways to lower a leader's authority.

Chip #1. Leads.

A super powerful trick is to “kill the leader” by putting him in the EVALUATION FRAME using catch phrases, non-verbals, and certain actions.

An evaluative frame is when you evaluate a person for what you can get and how you can use it (a frame is a frame).

So, your task is to put the group leader in an uncomfortable position from which he will not be able to get out and will lose the authority of the leader. To do this, you evaluate it.

For example, you could say:

• (The leader tells a funny story.) Cool! You're cool! Do not stop! What else do you have in stock?
• I know you're going to make us laugh now! He's cool, isn't he?
• Buddy, don't try so hard! We really like you! Just be yourself!
• Do you have a girlfriend?
• Just look at the style this girl has!
• You speak publicly. - Listen, this girl likes you so much, seduce her! - and now try to get out of it: if he listens, he seems to be subordinate to you, which means he is no longer a leader; If he doesn’t listen, he’s a brake.

The most important thing, friends, is to understand that everything needs to be done with good intentions and humor. If everyone around you laughs, that’s good; if the leader himself laughs at your clues, that’s top notch!

But you must always be prepared for the fact that clues of this kind can be thrown at you, both at any time and after you begin to “attack”. For example, the leader of the group may understand that you are joking with him and will begin to “throw back at you.”

In this case it is necessary:

1. Turn everything into a positive.
2. Answer clues correctly.

By the way, on this blog you can read an article on how to properly respond to insults. Psychologist Lyudmila Redkina coolly described how to get out of such moments in different situations.

For example, you are sitting at a table with a group, someone said something, and you did not hear. They tell you a banal phrase: “Didn’t you wash your ears?”

Wrong:

• start blatantly insulting a person;
• rush into a fight;
• freeze (everyone heard that you were hooked, but you blushed and said nothing or mumbled uncertainly);
• answer with something similar on the same emotional level, for example: “Have you brushed your teeth?”, “Go wash yourself, you stink!” etc.

Right:

• “Listen, here all the intelligent people are sitting at the table, eating and communicating culturally, and you’re talking about dirty ears... Aren’t you ashamed?” – response to a lead on a different emotional level.
• Or competently ignore his words and, without answering anything and without wincing a bit from his expression, continue to communicate positively. But you need to be able to do it correctly: both verbally and non-verbally. If the person who gave you the lead doesn't get the public's approval, they'll likely shut up and you'll be left with the big win.

Chip #2. “Push heads” between the group and the leader.

This is a very powerful feature, but it must be used wisely and at the right time. Your task is to look at the group from the outside and evaluate out loud its internal structure. You seem to move away from everyone, you are an outside observer who does not wish harm to anyone, but simply shares his opinion. You are positive and everyone has fun talking to you. But in reality, you are pitting the entire group against the leader.

• Listen, you and your friends are different. No, they're cute, no doubt about it. But you are a really interesting person! You are the leader among them! And they will do whatever you say! You know that yourself!
• Listen, you're a very cool guy. You are definitely the leader here and everyone knows it. Therefore, since you are the most responsible here, there is one thing for you...
• You are all such interesting girls, but why does she always make decisions for all of you?

With such statements, firstly, you “raise” the leader, and this flatters him; secondly, you put both the leader and the group members in an evaluative frame - this is precisely a beacon that you are already leading over them; thirdly, you publicly point out that one person is supposedly better than others - this is unpleasant for anyone except the leader himself; fourthly, you don’t pretend to be anything, but simply speak out, not intending to offend anyone.

All! Now you can safely watch as the group itself begins to lose its captain.

Step 3: Take and Maintain a Leadership Position

After waiting time, take the initiative for communication. To do this, you can come up with some crazy idea that will “ignite” everyone. If you did everything correctly in the previous stages, and the leader is “killed,” then the group will need a new person ready to take on his responsibility. Therefore, if you “change your post” in time, the group will follow you.

How to form and develop leadership qualities?

Developing leadership skills is a long and persistent process. It requires constant work and self-control.

To develop and form leadership qualities, you need to adhere to several rules:

Rule #1: Plan your activities daily. The most important condition in achieving the intended goal is to correctly set, distribute tasks and time for their implementation. Carefully write down goals, thoughts, strategies on paper. In the evening, make a detailed plan for the day and try to stick to it.

Rule #2: Stay calm. A leader must always control his emotions. In important matters, you cannot cut from the shoulder. You need to try to remain calm and make decisions thoughtfully. During a stressful situation, try to breathe slowly, taking a deep breath in and out. Have you calmed down? Now you can think about a solution to the problem.

Rule #3: Be responsible. The leader is responsible for the correct setting and implementation of the goal. Therefore, make sure that the tasks assigned to the team are completed.

Rule #4: Watch your image. Attractive appearance, good manners, posture - all this plays a major role on which the relationship between the leader and the team is built. Straighten your shoulders, straighten your back. During conversations, look your interlocutor in the eyes and remain calm. Watch your appearance. Remember that an unkempt person with disheveled hair does not inspire any confidence.

You can develop the listed qualities yourself or turn to professionals for help and take, for example, image courses or public speaking courses .

Choice of profession

In dreams of leadership, many miss the moment of career guidance. But who you work for can play against you in your desire. Librarian, accountant (even the chief), archivist, forester, clerk, repairman, hairdresser... Without a doubt, these are professions worthy of respect. And yes, you can always grow your career and become a director of a library or archive. But, as psychologists say, all these specialties are too calm, with a minimal level of stress. Therefore, they are not the most suitable field for cultivating leadership qualities.

Here is a list of professions ideal for self-development and leader education:

• advocate;
• judge;
• manager;
• director;
• teacher;
• administrator;
• creative director;
• clergyman;
• insurance agent;
• psychologist;
• military;
• trainer.

All these professions provide a fairly high level of stress, which in moderate doses spurs and gives impetus to self-development. They imply career growth and, accordingly, are fertile ground for leadership.

Tips and tricks for future leaders

Very often, a future leader does not know where to begin his development. This gives rise to the fear that nothing will work out, and that in general it was a bad idea.

We suggest starting your leadership journey by following these basic recommendations:

1. Set SMART goals. Many people fail because they set vague goals and don’t know exactly what they want to achieve. Set yourself an exact goal. Consider the timing and methods of its implementation. Mentally imagine the result and write it down on paper.
2. Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. Fear of the unknown often prevents you from taking the first step. Learn to let go of fear. Let's say you are afraid of speaking in front of an audience. Set a goal for yourself to get rid of this phobia. Determine what is difficult for you in this situation and make a plan for implementing the action. For example, give a short presentation in front of colleagues. An important attribute of a leader is the ability to overcome one’s fears. Success can only be achieved through trial and error, overcoming uncertainty, fear of change and failure.
3. Engage in self-development. Do you want to become an unrivaled leader? Start attending leadership development courses, read blogs, newsletters of successful people and learn from their experiences. Learn a foreign language and train your memory. Expand your horizons.
4. Speak publicly more often. Gaining trust and impressing others with the right, well-spoken language is an important leadership skill. To develop these qualities, you can attend public speaking courses.

You can, of course, not take any courses and study on your own, but by learning from the experts in your field, you can achieve success faster. Remember, nothing is impossible. The main thing is your desire and perseverance.

Strictness

One who can motivate a work team to work effectively can become a good leader.

How to do this correctly?

1. It is worth getting into the habit of calling the entire working staff for a holiday lunch once every couple of months. A completely effective method to find out a little more about your colleagues and win them over;
2. Arrange individual receptions, publicly encourage the most successful employees;
3. Always reward those at the forefront of the work process. Even a small bonus can encourage employees to perform their duties better.

5 best books to help you become a leader

• "The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership" by John Maxwell . The author questions the phrase “Leaders are born, not made.” In each chapter, the author reveals the essence of the laws of leadership and, using the example of others, shows how you can apply them in your life.
• "Turn Your Ship Around" by David Marquet. The book was written by a nuclear submarine captain. In it, he talks about his experience of changing the mechanism of interaction between crew members and overcoming any obstacles to the cherished goal.
• "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey . An international bestseller for people seeking to develop their potential. The author says that every person can overcome any obstacles by improving themselves and becoming the best version of themselves.
• "On the limit. A week without self-pity” Eric Bertrand. The author’s main idea is to live just 7 days at the limit of your capabilities. In the book, he talks about the intensive program you need to follow to become the best version of yourself. After completing the intensive course, many obstacles will seem like nothing to you.
• “Leader’s Charisma”, Radislav Gandapas. A well-known leadership specialist in Russia tells in his book how you can develop the ability to influence people, motivate, inspire and captivate with a common goal.

3 best motivational films for leaders:

• "Wall Street". The film tells the story of a young broker and his stunning ups and downs. He is ready to do anything to achieve success in his career. The film will be useful for those who are unsure of themselves and are afraid of making a mistake. Remember, mistakes build character.
• "Harvard Bum." The film is based on real events. The heroine, who grew up in a family of drug addicts, is trying to get out from the very bottom of her life and she succeeds. She finds the strength to get up and move forward. If you feel like nothing is working out and you're on the verge of despair, watch this movie. Perhaps after watching, you will change your point of view and begin to act.
• "The Pursuit of Happyness". The main character's life is going downhill. The wife left, leaving her little son, and was evicted from the apartment. He gets his dream job - in a trading company. True, I'm still an intern. Constant malnutrition, lack of sleep, spending the night in the toilet and free hostels. He endured everything. He built a business and became a successful millionaire. This film will be useful for those who have lost faith in victory when faced with insurmountable obstacles.

The heroes of these films did not give up. They fought for their destiny, despite hunger, fatigue and failure. There is a lot to learn from them. At different times in your life, when it seems like everything is lost and you can’t achieve anything, watch these films. They will help you cope with despondency and charge you with motivation.

Collaborative approach to teamwork

Teams get more done when all team members are involved. An ideal team leader always demonstrates a collaborative spirit by encouraging participation, collaboration, and support for the team's decisions. He actively participates in team meetings and does his part.

You must share your point of view openly and be open to hearing ideas from others. Collaboration means you adapt. Support decisions made by your team, even if you disagree. Imagine how ineffective the overall project will be if some of your teammates are deliberately working against the agreed upon actions.

Effective team leaders behave professionally

We respect and value professionalism in the workplace. Professionalism is about your personal brand or your professional reputation. It's the impression you give and how your colleagues talk about you to other people. Your professionalism can be determined based on how competent you are at your job, whether you get the job done, and how you carry yourself.

Let's start with competence. What skills or experience do you bring to the team? Your academic and professional experience is the basis of your competence. This means that your ability to complete the tasks assigned to you will directly affect the attitude of your colleagues in the team towards you. In addition to the quality of your work, you can build your competence by investing in your own professional development. In today's fast-paced world, you need to constantly develop your skills. Pay attention to relevant technological innovations, software, or simply improve your knowledge.

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become better, then you are a leader.” - John Quincy Adams

A leader in a team is always able to manage the tasks assigned to him. When it comes to the work the team assigns to you, make sure you complete it thoroughly and in a timely manner. This applies to deadlines and any deliverables of your work. Your personal brand or your professional reputation is tied to your ability to do your part well and on time. If you're regularly late to meetings or miss deadlines, you'll quickly develop a reputation as someone the team can't rely on.

Remember that outside of your department, you represent your team within the company. Try to speak and dress in a way that represents the team in a positive light. Your behavior is seen as a reflection of your team. When it comes to the way you speak, limit your use of profanity and offensive language, even when making jokes.

Conclusion

Every person is capable of becoming a good leader, however, it is necessary to constantly work on oneself and take responsibility for the work of the team. The manager performs many functions: from coordinating to motivating and encouraging. A good manager is able to improve the company’s performance, achieve team unity and properly organize all work processes.

“What do you think are the qualities of a good leader in the 21st century? Do you agree with the statement that good leaders are not born, they are made?

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Author of the article Angela Karpacheva Freelancer