How to develop a sense of humor: effective methods and exercises

Greetings, friends!

The more high technology and social networks penetrate our lives, the more people begin to wonder how to become more sociable? In modern society, where the ability to make acquaintances and maintain connections with people is one of the most important skills, it can sometimes be difficult for people who have problems with communication.

However, this problem can be solved, and today we will go through 2 important stages with you that will help you become more sociable. Of course, you will have to try a little. But you remember: you can’t even pull a fish out of a pond without effort? Let's start in order, and first let's figure out what it actually means to be sociable?

What does it mean to be sociable?

• Be able to make contacts with people. This is one of the main skills that greatly expands opportunities in life, work, and study. We are talking about the ability in the process of life to “hook” people with whom it may simply be interesting to communicate in the future, or maybe this connection will be useful in some way in the future.
• Be interesting for the interlocutor. Obviously, you can't become more social if people aren't interested in hearing what you have to say. It is important to be able to evoke emotions, interest, and help a person learn something new.
• Ability to carry on a conversation on any topic. The importance of this skill lies in the fact that all people have different interests, professions, and hobbies. Of course, if you simply nod to your interlocutor, he is unlikely to be interested. For this skill you need to develop and learn new things.
• Expand your social circle. It’s hard to even imagine how to become more sociable if your social circle only includes your neighbor on the landing. This is no good. But there is also no need to increase the number of acquaintances indefinitely. It is important to strive to find the optimal number of people who will be included in your social circle.
• Be able to maintain friendly relationships. It’s good, of course, to be able to make acquaintances. But what good is this if these acquaintances stop after the first meeting? If a person turns out to be interesting, then it will be great to be able to continue friendly communication with him.
• Don't be afraid to communicate with strangers. This is not about being able to start a conversation with anyone you meet on the street. This skill has little value. But not to be afraid to talk to a person who can help in some way (for example, a sales consultant) - this is already important, and you need to work on it.
• The ability to listen to your interlocutor. For many this is not easy. However, in an effort to become more sociable, mastering this skill is simply necessary. A person’s inability to listen in general can completely discourage another from any desire to communicate with such a person.

Well, friends, we've sorted it out. To make things easier, let's take a quick look at why some people have communication problems.

Exercises for every day

As I noted earlier, the art of telling jokes and funny stories is greatly influenced by the breadth of our vocabulary and flexibility of thinking. I will give several exercises that will help develop these aspects in both adults and children.

• Words starting with one letter

Choose a letter and make up several sentences where each word begins with it. It is important that the sentences are coherent and make sense.

• Three funny memories

Every day before going to bed, try to remember what funny or funny happened to you that day. Even if at first glance it seems that everything was ordinary, try to find humor even in simple or negative things.

This will help not only develop a humorous insight, but also teach you to cope with stress more easily and see the good even in the bad. By the way, we have a separate publication on our blog about how to solve any problems.

• Associations and anti-associations

Choose any word and match it with 10 similar in meaning, and then the same number that are opposite. Don't be too picky about the words you choose. “Chandelier” may well have “rug” as an anti-association, and the word “mountain” may have “hole.” This is a good way to exercise your brain and develop your imagination, which is very useful when creating jokes.

I recommend reading an article about how to develop imagination and imagination in children and adults.

• Pun

Think of a word with several meanings and make two sentences: the first with one meaning, and the second with a different meaning.

• Purpose of the item

Choose any object for the exercise and come up with as many uses for it as possible.

• Name of the picture

This workout can be done at any time, even scrolling through your social media feed. When you see a picture, try to come up with a name for it, but such that it does not make it clear what exactly is depicted. You can use irony and give names that are opposite in meaning.

• Hyperbola

Come up with joke titles that begin with the word “most.” For example: “The unluckiest conductor at the North Pole” or “The most gigantic garbage truck in the world”, etc. Then try to complete the joke by imagining what could happen if it were, for example, a stage miniature.

Where do communication problems come from?

Communication skills are developed throughout a person’s life, and there are several main factors that are decisive. Let's look at the most important ones.

1. Features of education. Every family has its own ideals, and often parents deliberately instill in their child traits that are not conducive to great success in life. They are proud that their child grows up modest and non-conflict , studies well, obeys parents and teachers. Unfortunately, such peculiarities of upbringing create certain difficulties for a person in adult life.

In addition, the child’s model of social behavior is completely formed by the parent’s example. If a family leads a relatively secluded lifestyle and rarely invites guests, the child simply will not learn to communicate, and in the future will experience certain difficulties because of this.

1. Negative communication experience
   . Children are very sociable and often face negative reactions to this. Parents ask them to be quiet, peers start making fun of them, teachers at school shut their mouths. The consequences of such an experience are quite obvious.
2. Lack of erudition
   . If a person has few topics of conversation available, becoming more sociable will not be easy. Therefore, it is important to constantly improve your erudition, read a lot, and take an interest in current events and news.
3. Character traits
   .
   There are several character types, and the level of sociability is one of their main differences. Thus, phlegmatic people are usually less talkative than choleric people. But if we talk specifically about sociability, it is more convenient to divide into introverts and extroverts. For close friends, introverts are usually open and interesting conversationalists, but communicating with unfamiliar people is not easy for them. If you are an introvert, then your difficulties with communication are understandable, but completely solvable. Read more about who an introvert is in a separate article.
4. Diffidence
   . This problem prevents self-realization in all areas of life. It is difficult for an insecure person to find a job, make friends and build romantic relationships. If this factor is present, you should start by increasing self-esteem, otherwise other efforts may be ineffective.

Well, friends, we’ve sorted out the basics, now let’s move on to the main part.

Becoming more social is easy

First of all, you need to understand that sociability is a skill , not a personality trait. And valuable skills need to be developed. This is accessible to anyone, the main thing is to continuously improve in the chosen direction. The whole process will consist of two stages: developing communication skills (i.e. the ability to communicate with people) and expanding your social circle. Without further ado, let's move on to the first stage.

Stage 1. Development of communication skills

First of all, you need to start developing communication skills and building self-confidence. What should you do for this?

Smile and don't be afraid to joke

If this article had to be boiled down to one single piece of advice, this would be it. Oh, how pleasant the interlocutors are who can make a great joke and make you smile - be it work colleagues, friends, or even just casual acquaintances. This rule works everywhere without exception - make a person smile and he will treat you much better.

Now an important point: if it seems to you that you don’t know how to joke at all, then believe me, this will come with time, you just have to start. The main thing is that you understand that a sense of humor is the strongest weapon for creating an easy and trusting environment. Over time, you will notice that there are reasons for jokes always and everywhere, you just need to try to notice them and not miss them! It’s also worth saying that making other people smile or laugh is a great way to increase self-esteem and create a great mood.

The main thing is to remember 2 simple rules: don’t joke about people, and joke about yourself very carefully. Otherwise, there is a reason for a joke everywhere - in school, work, in events around, and even in problems.

Give compliments

How long has it been since you last paid attention to the positive changes in people around you? If it’s been a long time, then correct it urgently. A compliment is not only a great way to give others positive emotions, but also a good reason to start a conversation on a pleasant note.

The main thing to remember is that a compliment should emphasize something that the person has worked hard on. For example, I lost weight, got a beautiful hairstyle, bought a nice suit. In addition, the compliment must be sincere, which means you must like this change. And one more thing: the compliment should be as light and simple as possible , for example: “Hello! Nice dress! (don't forget to smile). Sometimes this is enough to put a person in a great mood for the whole day.

Show interest

There is nothing difficult to ask a colleague: “How did you get to work today?” or “How was your weekend?” Of course, the interest must be sincere. After allowing the interlocutor to speak, ask a small clarifying question, showing interest. You will notice how pleasant it is for him and gain invaluable communication experience.

By the way, many consider the question: “How are you?” banal, and they try to avoid it. However, everything depends on the message with which this question is asked. If the interest is sincere, then even this simple question will be absolutely appropriate.

Learn to listen

Most people in communication strive to convey their own thoughts. Not everyone is able to listen and hear their interlocutor. However, if you really want to become more sociable, learn not to interrupt, listen to the end of a sentence , and think about what is said before responding. And never consider your loved ones to be those who must be burdened with all your problems.

Use body language

Facial expressions, the position of arms and legs, the direction and movement of the gaze - our interlocutor involuntarily notices all this. Nonverbal signals can tell a lot even to a person who has never been interested in them. For example, constantly looking at your phone will make the other person think that you are bored.

Smile often and learn to move correctly to demonstrate friendliness. Perhaps self-doubt is preventing you from becoming more sociable. Adopting a comfortable, open posture can help you overcome fear and doubt, so keep experimenting with your body language. At the same time, you will master another important skill - learn to read the mood of your interlocutor by his facial expressions and movements. And one more thing: do not cross your arms while talking - this position is closed and repulsive.

Become an interesting conversationalist

People with a good sense of humor who can easily carry on conversations on any topic are valued in any company. You don't have to be a highly educated intellectual to become a good conversationalist. It is enough to lead an active life , regularly read popular books, watch new movies being released, and take an interest in current events. If possible, then also travel.

Contact by name

Do you remember the names of all your work colleagues? If not, then it’s time to learn and start calling people by name. As Dale Carnegie said, what people love most is to hear the sound of their name. So give them this chance, and believe me, your relationships with people will begin to improve. Start mentioning the name even then. when you just say hello.

Well, dear reader, we are done with the first part. If you follow these seemingly simple tips, your communication skills will increase many times over. And we move on to the second stage.

Never complain

Are you wondering how to become a funny and interesting person? First of all, stay positive in any situation. Nobody has ever idolized whiners. If something serious is bothering you, write it down on a piece of paper, tell a loved one, but don't whine at parties with friends. The principle “I’m in a bad mood, I’ll ruin it for everyone” is not the best strategy for becoming funny and interesting. And if you are surrounded by whiners, try to cheer them up, turn the topic of complaint into a joke, or direct the conversation in a positive direction.

Stage 2. Expanding your social circle

As strange as it may sound, to become more sociable, you need to communicate more. There are a few simple techniques that can move you in this direction.

Change your routine habits

Visit different stores, take new routes to work, dine in different cafes. Even during working hours, when going to the toilet, you can go up to another floor or go to the opposite end of the corridor. Every day you will see new faces, and this is a great opportunity for dating and communication.

Use social networks

Many people underestimate social networks, not realizing how often virtual communication leads to very promising real acquaintances. The main thing is not to be shy about inviting people to meetings, you can even offer to meet in a small group (if it is a group associated with common interests).

Don't mince your words

Often we limit ourselves to a simple “Please!” when we helped a colleague, or “Thank you!” when we received help. But it’s much better to say “Please! I’m sure you would help me too!” or “Thank you! And please contact me if you need help!” Phrases like these break through barriers and bring people together.

Combine business with pleasure

An interesting and exciting activity may well serve as a catalyst for new friendships. You can sign up for courses or trainings where there will be people with the same interests. Joint activities are an excellent opportunity to meet new people and start communicating. There are also special interest clubs that anyone can join, for example, there is a club for those who like to play “Mafia” in almost every city.

Invite and accept invitations

Like in the movie “Always Say Yes!” Do not refuse invitations when you are invited somewhere, and also try to invite someone yourself. This is a great way to become more sociable without creating an uncomfortable environment for yourself. You can choose how you spend your time. At best, it will be a pleasant date or a friendly conversation, at worst, it will simply be a valuable communication experience.

Don't be afraid to hear "No"

We are designed in such a way that every “No!” burns us. Therefore, adults experience panic fear of rejection and miss a lot of opportunities in life. But you don’t have to be afraid of the word “no.” Start breaking your usual behavior patterns. When you see a cute stranger (or stranger) at a bus stop, don’t hesitate to start talking. Even if the acquaintance does not work out, you will not lose anything, but will only gain valuable experience.

In conclusion, let's discuss such a simple, but at the same time such a complex question:

How to conduct a conversation correctly?

Remember that speaking and communicating are completely different genres. Always let your interlocutor speak out, but don’t be silent yourself. Feel free to talk about yourself, but do not rush to share too personal information. You can talk about your interests, leisure activities, trips to the sea, interesting events that have happened recently.

When asking your interlocutor questions, show interest in his personality, but also do not rush to ask about something too personal. Rapprochement always takes place very slowly, two people move towards this in small steps, gradually revealing certain details from their own lives. If you rush into this, you can instantly destroy the fragile trust that has not yet had time to form.

It is recommended to use open-ended questions so that the interlocutor can answer, flavoring the story with any number of details. By asking a closed question, you force him to give monosyllabic answers, even if he is in the mood for lively and interesting communication. To become more sociable, you need to understand that people love to talk about themselves, and you are guaranteed to please them by demonstrating sincere interest in them.

One of the most effective ways to develop your communication skills in a short time and learn to understand the hidden emotions of others is to study with a qualified specialist.

The online intensive “Effective Communication” will teach you:

• Manage your emotions and control impulses;
• Overcome difficult emotional situations;
• Understand the feelings and thoughts of the interlocutor on a deeper level;
• Communicate with your surroundings more effectively;
• Manage conflicts;
• Build harmonious relationships.

The author of the course is Oleg Kalinichev. Expert in nonverbal behavior, emotional intelligence and lie detection. Accredited trainer Paul Ekman International. Managing Director of Paul Ekman International in Russia (PEI Russia).

The online intensive “Effective Communication” will be especially useful:

1. Entrepreneurs, executives, top managers.
2. For those who work with clients, middle managers, and freelancers.
3. To everyone who is involved in raising children.
4. Anyone who wants to improve their communication with others.

The training consists of 4 blocks:

1. Emotions. Basics.
2. Emotional stability and emotional flexibility.
3. Social efficiency.
4. Building harmonious relationships.

How the training works:

1. Watch video lectures
2. Perform independent tasks to reinforce the material
3. Participate in webinars and discuss difficult issues
4. Take tests on the material you have studied
5. Complete the intensive course and receive a certificate

The cost of completing it independently is 990 rubles, with a curator – 2,490 rubles.

If within 7 days you decide that the course is not suitable for you, your money will be returned.

Talk and ask questions

Don’t be shy to start a conversation, ask a question so that even a stranger feels comfortable around you. Even such trivial questions as what the last good movie the person watched will do. It may turn out that you also watched it, so a new topic of conversation will appear. Ask about the strangest place the person has been, about funny childhood situations, and so on.